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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Uniquely You!

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn’t really like who I was. I’d compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, “The Real Me” featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I’ve learned.

First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”

She’s right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others’ strengths and then be who He created us to be.

Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. If you don’t have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of “Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are” Workbook and CD.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I’d love to know your age and where you’re from.

Discover more from Renee Swope

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Comments

  1. Oh my goodness Renee! You must have used me as our inspiration for this! My whole life I have always dones what I had to do, never what I wanted to do. It wasn't till recently that I started thinking about what I really wanted to do. But now I feel like I've waited so long that its too late for my dreams. I've been thinking alot lately to about where I serve in church. I seem to have my feet in so many different areas and now I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I know I need to pull back but I'm having trouble deciding where I really want to be.
    And a quick side note: A few years ago on our women's retreat our speaker took us through a personality test to help us determine our type.Through the course of it she describe the different types (the same ones you did) and then we scored ourselves based on different answers to questions. However at the end she explained that most of us all have at least 2 of those personality types in us. Then she went on to describe a certain patern it follows. Well, of course I didn't fit the pattern at all. And I still remember her words: "If your pattern is diagonal, then something is wrong, because it shouldn't be that way. It should be up and down or side to side". I laughed about it at the time, but I've never fogotten it.
    Anyway, thanks for the chance to win, I'd love to take time to figure myself out, and maybe I'll find out that there isn't something wrong with me after all.
    Josey
    jbozzoblog.blogspot.com
    [email protected]

  2. THANK YOU! God is speaking to me through you today. just last night I was discussing this exact topic with my husband, not knowing who I am or what I'm supposed to be. I never imagined myself at 32 with four kids 6 and under but God obviously thinks I can handle it?! You have given me the tools to start this journey of "finding myself" and God's purpose for me. I admit it's a little scary to start because I don't feel like I've ever been able to find myself in personality tests or spirtual gifts analysis because i always just barely fit into all categories (trying to be who I want me to be maybe?!). I now want to make time to try to figure this out to be who God wants me to be. Thank you for showing me it's possible, I felt like you had written just for me today!
    [email protected]

  3. Thank you for your devotional. This really spoke to me this morning. I have been going through some new challenges and have just realized that after 7 years of raising twins, being the best mom and wife I can be (along with many other hats), that I really have no idea what God has in store for me or what I am supposed to be doing.I have found that my best is never good enough for the people that surround me and that I only need to do my best for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The good news is I do know God has a plan for my life. But I have to admit I am scared of what that plan is. I do find comfort that His plan is perfect and He will be satisfied if I am obedient and He loves me always. I pray I will find the purpose for my life through Gods great Mercy and Grace. I will definitely have to find the time and materials you have suggested to start this journey. Thank you for your perfect timing.
    Kimberly Hill
    [email protected]

  4. Thank you so much for this devotion today. I am 38 years old and live in a small town in Minnesota. I keep asking God what He has planned for me. While I am a wife, daughter, and mother of five great kids, I just can't help feeling that God has more in store for me… Thank you for the resources, I am definitely going to use them to help me in my search to find out why God put me on the great Earth of His! : ) I would love to be entered in the drawing, my e-mail address is: [email protected].

  6. I was so excited when I received your devotion today. This has truly been a struggle in my life recently. I'm almost 26 but I struggle with the fact that my life isn't what I had dreamed it to be when I was 5! I am slowly learning to appreciate where God has me and find comfort in the desires He has placed in my heart. Thanks so much!!!

    [email protected]

  7. Thank you for your wonderful, on-the-mark devotion! Like so many others, I too am constantly comparing and coming up short. I am 47, lost my mom when I was 13 and had an abusive dad. All of this formed me into a people pleaser. I need prayers and would love to be in the drawing for your book – [email protected]. I am reading a book right now – Good and Angry by Turansky and Miller – a wonderful book that explains how explosive parenting creates people pleasers – its really great – and I pray that its insights will help me be a better mommy to my HS 8yo daughter. God's blessings to everyone, you are in my prayers today.
    Cindy

  8. I am turning 49 in a few weeks, helping others has been what I do. Just last night my husband said "You can't make everything alright for everyone." I know that is God's territory, but yet in the business I do seem to carry burdens that arn't mine. And in that business, somehow I lost me. Thank you, I want, as you have, to serve Him in the way He created me to, instead of this whirlwind that keeps me off balance. Thank you. [email protected]

  9. I can relate to exactly what you said. As I go through life, who I am changes and is becoming clearer the older I get. When I worked, I was focused on my career, but now that I'm a mom, it has caused me to be focused on being focused on Christ first and letting Him lead me and just enjoying each day (our girls are 6 and 4) and seeing where He takes me in the future – I trust in Jeremiah 29:11 – "I know the plans I have for you . . ." [email protected] from Chicago (age 37)

  10. Thank you for putting into words what I have felt for DECADES. I am 54 years old and have always wished to be more of what I just….am not. I have been so mad at God for making me quiet, shy, introverted, a behind-the-scenes kind of person and have often wished I could be more outgoing, fun, and the leader everyone follows. But I simply am NOT that type of person. My good traits are that I am loyal, trustworthy, sweet, kind, and a very hard worker. I know I fit perfectly into the Body of Christ and just need to accept with my heart what I already know in my mind. I have confessed this sin many times and do so once again. With NEW resolve to praise Him for who He made me to be!
    Thank you for your honesty! [email protected]

  11. Thanks for this Devotion. I have always been so envious of those people who have a noticeable talent like, singing, art, writing etc. because when they are asked what they enjoy or what they would do if fear was no concern they can jump right to their answer. I have never been able to answer that question. There is nothing that I can say that I truely truely love to do besides be with family and sometimes I wonder if I really enjoy that or if that is something I say because other's say it? That is so sad I know. I need to do some searching and the fact that I am 31 scares me at times but now I feel like it is not to late. Thanks again. [email protected]

  12. I was just thinking about this sort of thing yesterday. I feel like I have sort of put 'me' away and have forgotten the purpose I was put here for in God's eyes. Thank you for your insight. Blessings to you!
    Andrea
    Age 39, in VA
    [email protected]

  13. What a great reminder today! Thank you! I am currently recovering from a huge 'indiscretion' in my life (that came at a time when I thought I *was* following God). I am trying to figure out who I am and how God can use this mess I've made (which I know He absolutely can for His glory). I am finding that when I seek His heart, more of the heart He created in me is revealed to me.
    And I loved your tweet earlier this week about your boys going on your run with you! 🙂

  14. This so describes me. I am 42 years old and I have never truly felt at peace with who I am. I have never found out what I want to do with my life (other than be a mom). Sometimes I think that is the only thing I can do…and many times I don't even think I can do that right. I am always trying to please everyone else and always compare myself to those around me. It is a lonely place to be!
    [email protected]

  15. Dear Anonymous at 7:52am. You are right – men definitely struggle with this too. I'm glad you pointed that out.

    I know that my husband watched and listened as I was discovering my purpose and it helped Him discover God's purpose for his life, too. He thought it would mean a job change but it's actually been more about him seeing ministry opps at work based on his unique shape. Also, getting involved in ministry at our church that fits his purpose has made a big difference. It's taken years but it's been so worth the effort and perseverance through the ups and downs.

  16. I like you have never really sat back and thought about what I like or who I am. I started working with a counsler not long ago who asked me some questions about this same subject and tell the truth even now I don't really know. I've always been the daughter, the wife, the mother, but who is Leslie?? That's the question I'm looking to answer.

    Leslie Cribbs [email protected]
    39 years old
    Phenix City, AL

  17. Jill, I can so identify with what you said…but I'm nearly 61 years old and it has taken me a lot longer to get where you are! Just last month I attended a HeartQuest week that completely transformed my life. I now know that my value and significance is not based on anything I do, but Who my Father is. And who I am in Him. He showed me so clearly and lovingly that I have kept Him at arm's length from me due to distrust and disappointments in my life that He had nothing to do with.

    He loves His daughters so much, and values them so much because they are His. He is waiting to pour out love on us; He is delighted in us! When I accepted these truths, my life was transformed. My striving has ceased…I live in FREEDOM; to love and be loved. To accept myself in Him and look to each day as a glorious new beginning to experience all He has for me that day!

    Connie Martin
    [email protected]

  18. Good Morning to all…as I was reading your article, I could so relate all that was mentioned.
    I too, have wonder myself if I was just a wanderer in this life. What is my purpose? What is the plan of God for me? What are my dreams?
    It is very encouraging to know that I am not the only woman discovering what her purpose is.
    As I set forth to discover exactly who I am in Christ, and my purpose, I believe that I am going to find much more of me then I thought.
    I pray that every woman that is also experiencing her God given talents, gifts, and purpose, come to the knowledge of exactly what her desire and dream is.

  19. This devotion ties in to where I am in my life right now. Monday I have to go to court for my divorce, after 33 years of marriage. This past year has been a roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs I am not sure which way is up. I have been seeking God, looking for answers, guidance, etc. Through this he has sustained me and given me the strength to go on. I have been a career woman all my life, but my family always came first. I thought I knew myself, until this happened.

    I am asked what am I going to do now, and I am not sure. I have been trying to keep busy, but I am finding that some of the things I used to do was because of him. I didn't realize how much of myself had been wrapped around his life, his wants, his desires and dreams. I was consumed by him and lost myself in the process.

    So now I am trying to find out who I am. And right now I am not sure. I just know that God gives me strength to face each day, and I enjoy the time I am having with God. The devotions I receive have helped me get back in tune with God, drawing me closer to him.

    Your article today made me realize I need to find out who I am, so I can fulfill God's plan for my life.

    Looking back now I can see that God made provisions for me to prepare me for the things I am facing now. He is always in control.

    But it is time to move forward and become the woman he wants me to be so I can fulfill the calling he has placed in my life.

    I pray that God will guide me and direct me in the path he wishes me to follow. Thank you Lord for this devotion today. Bless Renee as she continues to encourage woman in discovering themselves.

    Diana Madrid
    [email protected]

  20. Thank you for your devotional. I loved the statement that when we compare ourselves to someone else, we compare our insides to their outsides. So true!
    Michelle Pardue
    [email protected]

Uniquely You

My devotion “The Real Me” is featured today at Proverbs 31 website and Crosswalk. If you found my blog through my devotion, I am so glad you stopped by. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life – and all of my relationships – for the better. I hope I can encourage you with what I’ve learned.

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are, or why you do things the way you do? From the time I was in Jr. High, I didn’t really like who I was, so I compared myself to those around me and tried to figure out who people liked the most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I am convinced that comparison is our worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up best when she said, “When I compare myself with someone else, I can never measure up because I am comparing my insides with their outsides.” Isn’t it easy to compare how we feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside? Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but no one wins! God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. We need to encourage each other’s strengths and be who God created us to be. Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

You are uniquely you for your unique God-shaped purpose. We are all “God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”Ephesians 2:10, (NLT) God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s been writing since the beginning of time. There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind!

In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desires PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. Or simply leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of my CD and Workbook, Shaped with Purpose: A Practice Guide for Discovering Who You Are.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email.

Discover more from Renee Swope

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Comments

  1. Hi Rene

    I am all the way in UK and so glad to be connected to this ministry as the encouragement for the day always encourages me.

    I really would love a copy of your book, but i dont seem to be able to order it from the UK as i think method of payments differ in the US. If i am blessed to win a CD that would be gr8!

    But please can you advise on how best i can order your book from the UK. I really need guidance in knowing my purpose and who i really am as i faced so many disappointments in life which has left me somewhat confused at the moment.

    Your devotional was so key for me today as i had been up last night tearful about where i am in my life right now and what God has instore for me.

    Blessings
    [email protected] or [email protected]

  2. Hi Renee!
    I love it when God speaks to me. This is an issue that I have been meditating on a lot lately. I’m eager to go through your workbook and continue discovering who I am. I have spent my life in relationships and being who the other person needed me to be so that each time a relationship failed I was left floating around with no direction because I have never taken enough time to establish my irrevocable identity. God’s brought me back to his open arms and I am discovering who I am and who I want to be, but my journey is far from over.
    Your words are an encouragement. Have a Super Blessed Day!
    ([email protected])

  3. I read your devotional on Encouragement for Today and it’s exactly what I needed to hear. The last two days I’ve been struggling with this exact question. I was burden with this thought that I have no desire and worse I didn’t even know who I was. For the Lent season I’ve decided to set aside time everyday to read the Bible and sit in prayer. After only two days I can already see God at work; how awesome! Thank you for your message. I look forward to discovering who I am.

    [email protected]

  4. I have struggled for years with finding my place. Before I was married, I was involved in an abusive relationship for 4 years. 15 years later, I’m married with 2 young boys. I keep looking for how God wants me to use my experience. I’m very active in my church, and only 2 or 3 people know of my past. I want to find a way to use it for His glory. I know everything happens for a reason, and I don’t want my past to be in vain. I keep trying to see where God wants me to go with it. Your post today really struck a chord. I pray that God will show us our place.

  5. Renee
    I am 66 years soon to be 67 years and when I read your article ‘The Real Me’ it seemed to be describing me as I am now. I am honestly admitting that at this stage of my life I don’t know the real me. If asked what I like I could not say, and dreams with or without money, I could not formulate one. Mind you I am doing things, but I think these are just things that come up, but there is no passion. I just prayed and asked the Lord to show me what His will for my life is, and I hope He shows me. In the meantime, please tell me which books you read that helped you
    Thanks.
    I am Yvonne and my email is [email protected]

  8. Unfortunately it took me until I was 53 to understand who was in charge. Since then I listen to everything he tells me, but right now I’m on an adventure that I truly believe he is guiding me on because I never would have thought of it on my own. I’m taking a writing course. When I was looking at different courses, I had asked for information from two different institutions. One was what sounded like a good one and then I discovered a totally Christian one and I pondered over it. I let myself open to the Lord as to which one I should take, thinking surely that He would guide me to the Christian one solely on its merits. You have to remember that this idea seemed totally out of the blue to my husband who’s a wonderful man that never questions and always gives me courage to do whatever I choose as far as quests.(He one of the gifts that the Lord gave me at a very awful time of my life) I prayed and meditated on my choice of schools and even questioned the decision that I was encouraged to take and the first school was the one. I found out later that this particular school is very Bible based and full of wonderful people. I think I now am seeing what direction this is going. The missions I would like to undertake are the mentally ill and the elderly. These are the most forgotten people in this world. There is a little history with the mentally ill because my mother and my youngest son are Bipolar. I’m scared to death myself but I know that is why I’m being encourged by God. I know that now I will be ok. People don’t understand this disease very well. The other area is for my love and that is the elderly. What a wealth of information as well as friendships I’m going to enjoy in this area. I’ve got some ideas and already our rather large community paper has given me an open door if I choose to go in that direction. If it will put me into the nursing homes and senior community I’ll be blessed.

  9. Renee-
    Thank you for speaking from the heart about your journey. I could really relate to everything you said. I can also relate to c.j.’s comment as I just turned 50 and am still waiting to find out what I will be when I grow up. Thank you c.j. for sharing because I feel like I am living the same life you are. I struggle to find time to spend with God, even though I know that is the best way to spend my time.
    God bless you!

  10. Hi Renee,
    I was so thankful to read your devotion today. I have always wondered what God’s plans are for me, even since I was a child. Your advice at learning who I am is something that has not occurred to me. I praise God for giving me the time to read your message and I hope to begin a wonderful journey of finding out just who I really am.
    Blessings to you,
    Chris
    [email protected]

  11. Renee,
    Your devotion today really hit home with me. I’m 38 and have no idea what I’m good at and I have no idea how to find out! I am married to someone who tries new things and almost always is good at it. Great for him, frustrating for me because I am a perfectionist and if I can’t do something well, I give up. Something I really need to work on.

    Thank you so much for your thoughts and comments today. At least now I feel like I have somewhere to start. I always thought I was alone in feeling this way, but after reading the many comments on your site, I see there are others out there just like me!

    Thanks again.
    God bless!
    Jeanne ([email protected])

  13. Dear Renee,

    Thank you so much for this devotional. I have struggled with who I am and what exactly God’s will is for my life for years.

    My story is exactly like C. J.’s but I just turned 47 and I have only 1 child at home. Other than that, she wrote what is on my heart.

    I want to encourage C. J. that she can write beautifully and thank her for sharing. It is so good to know that I’m not alone in this and that God isn’t finished with us yet!

    One of my own issues that drives me crazy is that I can see other people’s spiritual gifts very clearly and can discern God’s leading in their lives but can’t seem to see these things in my own life. (Is this a gift in and of itself?)

    I am excited and looking forward to getting your resources, whether I pay for them or win them.

    I discovered this website several months ago and am so thankful for it.

    May the Lord continue to bless you!

    Brenda

  14. What a gift from God your message was today. I do not always take the time to read them. Jesus knew I needed to. Unlike most who posted, I know who I am and finally really like me and know my purpose. I am 49 married, have 3 daughters,13, 11, and 10, have worked in health care continuesly since I was a teenager, do middle school minsitry and have been happy and content even through struggles for years now. 4 days ago my world turned upside down when my 13 year old confessed she is suffering with body image issues. She is a size 7 jrs, very pretty and has the most beautiful spirit I have ever seen. She, too, is involved in minisrty in our public MS and has led many to Christ. I feel she is under satans attack to stop her and our family from our outreach. Her pain has been so deep and thinks she hasnt felt real happiness for a long time. I have been clinging to all the bible verses you qouted. Please pray, Renee, for restoration and healing for Brittany.
    Thank you for letting Jesus show me his word today!

  15. This is a great word, I would love to get the book on Personalities…I am thinking I am the type that wants peace…I am almost 50 and still don’t know for sure what God has for me, and ‘what I want to be when I grow up!’ But I know the Lord has placed me in the same job as a legal assistant for 25 years next month for a reason, if I haven’t felt it was my true heart’s desire…this is a good subject to delve into, thank you for your today’s devotion!
    Blessings,
    Kelly

  17. wow,
    Thank you so much for reminding me of the temperments we have. We read a book in my ministry class long time ago called A Spirit Filled Temperment, I forget who wrote it but I am going to dig this book out and read it, this time really study it. I need to truly know me the way God created me for His purpose and knowing my temperments, personality traits, and just getting to know me better will be a great step. I also want to check out the book you recommended, I will look for it at the christian book store.
    Thanks again,
    Angel

  18. Renee – You spoke to so many truths this moring on the Proverbs 31 Encouragement for Today devotional and this post. I totally agree with you that becoming acquaintd with yourself through the understanding of your personality style is such a breaktrhough to freedom. It was for me and all my relationships. AND your commnent alluding to our comparisons to others is right on. IT is the foundation for discontent. Thanks for the reminders that encourage us to get back on track, focusing on the One who created us. God bless you, dear sister.

  20. can you direct me to the proverbs devotional mentioned in this devotional that is supposed to identify the different personalities. i clicked on the link but was unable to locate the article based on your description.
    thank you so much for your help
    janet