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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Uniquely You!

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn’t really like who I was. I’d compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, “The Real Me” featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I’ve learned.

First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”

She’s right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others’ strengths and then be who He created us to be.

Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. If you don’t have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of “Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are” Workbook and CD.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I’d love to know your age and where you’re from.

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Comments

  1. At 43 I am where you were at 32, I don't know. I don't have some great desire to be an actor, doctor or walk on the moon. I kinda feel wife and mom is what I was ment to be.

    Earlier this year, things changed in my life and I began a relationship with God. Although I have been saved since I was 16 years old, I never had a relationship with God. I felt that I had a hard heart. Emotions were hard for me to express and crying never happened under any circumstance. So I prayed for a softer more caring and compassionate heart. This is happening. God has placed things on my heart to do, and it is easy. Something as easy as to pray for someone or go spend time with someone in the hospital.

    If money wasn't an issue, what would I do? I have thought about this lately. My hearts desire would be to give it away to organizations of great causes. Local rescue missions for men and women. Church members that have gone to other countries as missionaries. Christian organizations that help other people in so many ways.

    Maybe Gods choice for me is to have a caring heart. I don't know and I am still learning.

    [email protected]

  2. This is something I have always struggled with. I am 43 years old and have always had Jesus in my life. Even at this age and stage in my life I still struggle comparing myself with others and how if I could be just a little more like them. I need to pray that the Lord will help deliver me from that and that I will put that much focus on who He has created me to be!
    Angela Ramsey
    [email protected]

  3. Hi! Thank you so much for this message. This week I turned 50 and I have had such a difficult time. I have had a long, successful (by everyone's else's definition), a Ph.D., have travelled extensively for my job and STILL feel unfulfilled. I have committed myself to studying how I may begin to feel fulfilled by trying to gather an understanding of what God wants for me. I have just had to "empty" myself of my previous beliefs and am trying to ask God to guide me. Most importantly, I am trying to learn how to listen to God's directions! This type of info and encouragement really helps me. I have just begun my christian journey having been baptized only last month and I am hungry and thirsty for more knowledge and more opportunity for God to teach me. Please keep up your good work. I pray that you and all women can find deep fulfillment and love for self and God's purpose.

    [email protected]

  4. Your post in P31 today spoke to my heart. I have 4 wonderful children and I have been at home with them for over 20 years. One married last month and my youngest is entering 7th grade and I wonder who I am. Over the last 2 years this has been my cry ~ to learn who I am in Christ. My identity in Him is all that matters and I think I battle being "someone" for me. I am the people pleaser and understand your post today so well. I have no dreams except getting through today. Pray for me that God will direct me to understand His purpose for me outside my home. Thank you.

    Penny Whitley
    [email protected]

  5. I have never had a sense of "what I want to be when I grow up" either. I have just done what everyone else did when they were doing it. I am lucky in that my marriage is wonderful! I am a SAHM and I love it most of the time. I would love to find ways to be more fulfilled and a more joyful mother.
    [email protected]

  6. I was just confronted with this very question, "What do I like to do? What are my interests?" a couple of days ago and I don't have an answer. It was comforting to read your devotion to know that Christian women feel this too. There are so many times where I feel "too bruised" to be apart of the women at church. Although I know it (Jesus came to save the brokenhearted and to free the prisoners) in my head, to believe it in my heart and allow the Lord to effectively use my life experiences has been a struggle. And as I am writing I am reminded that I not live but Christ lives in me, the hope of Glory.

    I thank you for your willingness to share your lfe with so many. I pray that I may allow th3 Lord to to have His Way with me in my life. To do those things that please him and inturn please me.

    God Bless
    gina crouso
    [email protected]

  7. Your Crosswalk devotion and this blog post are just what I needed this morning. I continue to struggle with questions of Why Am I Here? What Am I Supposed to Be Doing?

    I continue to wait and pray about it meanwhile doing nothing.

    I am almost 40 and couldn't answer the question of what I would do if there were no limitations. I will be praying the prayer at the end of your devotion daily.

  8. Renee, Great words! Obviously I'm not the only one who can relate! At 33 I've spent much of my life not knowing who I was (and more importantly the first 22 years not knowing who's I was), so instead tried to be someone else. Like you say that is frustrating, exhausting and bound to be a loss. I was constantly comparing myself and never felt I measured up or was as worthy as the person next to me, but over the last few years God has really been working. It's not about who others think we are or even who we see, but who God sees and designed us to be. For me it was and at times still is hard to accept this and put my mind around it, but the process has begun and I'm thankful. He has me doing things I never dreamed of, but it's obvious He did. That's only possible when I surrender and be the person He made me to be. Renee, thanks for being uniquely you and encouraging all of us to be the same.
    Blessings from Iowa,
    Jill

  9. As a Women's Ministry Director it constantly amazes me how many women do not understand this concept. Once they do it is so exciting to watch lives transform and blossom.

    Thank you for enlightening many women God always has a purpose for what He does; even 'custom designing' lives.

    May God continue to use you in great ways for His kingdom work.

  10. Thank you so much for this devotional. God is definately speaking to me this morning. I am 37 years old, a mother, wife, and a special education teacher. Yet, I am not sure who I really am. I feel like I am so busy doing what I think I am suppose to be doing…and making sure everyone is happy, that I don't know who I am. This devotional has opened my eyes. I am going to spend time with God and find out what he desires of me and what His dreams are for my life here on earth.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this devotional.

    God Bless,
    Tina
    [email protected]

  11. Hey
    Men can feel this too!
    We have so much responsibility
    but we can question and ponder on what is my real purpose just like the ladies. It is a human thing especially at the 40's. Being in a career that really gives peace and a feeling of accomplishment is a human need.

  13. I am getting to the point in my life where I need to find the next path…my children are moving on to school. My purpose so far has been mommy. So, I am asking God what next. Thanks for the thoughts today!

    I am 34 and from Michigan.

  14. Wonderful post Renee! I can actually see myself somewhere in each of the personality types, but I probably lean more towards the Phlegmatic type, as my life has mostly been anything but peaceful.

    At the age of 37, I long to be living out God's plans and purposes for me. Still figuring that out, but as He draws me closer to Him, He also reveals more of that purpose to me.

    I was "that girl" that used to always compare myself to others. I'd like to say that part of me is gone, but I know that's not entirely true. However, I am more content with who I am than I ever have been in my entire life – all praise goes to God for that!

  16. Thanks for the devotion today. WOW!!this one really spoke to me.I am 44 years old and still struggle with doing for others and not enough for me. I plan on reading the book "Personality Plus". Thanks again. I have dreams on what I would like to use creative talents God has given me but don't know how to put them in place. I will be praying more for God to show me the direction He has planned for me.

  17. It looks like there are many of us who relate to your devotion today. I too hopped over here after reading your devotion this morning. Thank you for sharing your heart with us in such an open and honest way.

  18. Timing is everythng! I have really been struggling with this for the last 6-8 months. I can see pieces of myself if almost all the comments. I have 3 daughters (9 and 6 yo twins). I left a fairly high level job as a Chemical engineer when the twins were born because I did not want the lifestyle I saw my peers having. Now that I have time to breathe – I'm praying and trying to figure out what I should be doing. So far, not much response….. I'm 43 and feel like if I don't figure it out soon, it will be too late.
    [email protected]

  19. I have been trying to understand and have peace about what I am suppose to be doing now in my life. Thanks for the thoughts today and the scripture to ponder.
    [email protected]

  20. Today's devotional really hit home with me as well–I've been a people pleaser for years and constantly compare myself to those around me–and yes, it can be exhausting! Recently, I had the opportunity to take a "Discovering your spiritual gifts" class at my church, and it was life changing! My primary gift is the gift of faith–knowing this has not only helped me put the various pieces of my life together (past and present), but enables me to have more direction with the Lord for my future! Thanks for the insight and encouragement Renee!

    Melinda McCullah, 34

Uniquely You

My devotion “The Real Me” is featured today at Proverbs 31 website and Crosswalk. If you found my blog through my devotion, I am so glad you stopped by. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life – and all of my relationships – for the better. I hope I can encourage you with what I’ve learned.

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are, or why you do things the way you do? From the time I was in Jr. High, I didn’t really like who I was, so I compared myself to those around me and tried to figure out who people liked the most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I am convinced that comparison is our worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up best when she said, “When I compare myself with someone else, I can never measure up because I am comparing my insides with their outsides.” Isn’t it easy to compare how we feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside? Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but no one wins! God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. We need to encourage each other’s strengths and be who God created us to be. Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

You are uniquely you for your unique God-shaped purpose. We are all “God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”Ephesians 2:10, (NLT) God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s been writing since the beginning of time. There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind!

In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desires PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. Or simply leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of my CD and Workbook, Shaped with Purpose: A Practice Guide for Discovering Who You Are.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email.

Discover more from Renee Swope

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Comments

  1. Thank you, Renee for your words of encouragement this morning. I am in my forties & have 2 wonderful children in college & a great husband. I have been struggling with the question of what is God’s real purpose for me. Surely it’s not what I’m doing. My current position causes much stress & control over my life – very toxic environment. I don’t feel I have any useable talents or don’t know what they are. I know God is in control & will walk with me through it all but it sure doesn’t feel good or is rewarding, which is why I pray for Him to show me where He wants me.

  2. Wow! I didn’t realize so many other women felt this way too. I’ve often felt ashamed that I didn’t know who I was or or what dreams I had as a little girl. It was like a block I was afraid to go there and think about it because I didn’t know. I grew up as a middle child being the peace maker and giving in to be a “people pleaser”. I’ve been praying desperately to know the person God made me to be. I’ve recently discovered that I have a passion to see my kids serve Christ. But, I’m also at a career transition where I don’t want to return to my former occupation (transportation planning). I want to be my own boss to work around my children’s schedule. I’ve looked at my strengths and felt they are so ordinary…what can I do with them and use them as way to work into a new career? I’ve tossed around the idea of being a personal trainer because I love working out…but question myself if I have the passion and if this is right for me to pursue. I’ve had a lot of questions and prayers for God. But no direct or confirming answer. I’m afraid to move because I’ve felt I made a mistake in my first career where I put so much energy and education into pursuing. I don’t want to make the same mistake…so I’m waiting on God for direction.

  3. I am currently in school for Christian counseling through the NCCA and rmcm.org. It is a study of tempermant theory. It is so interesting seeing what my temperament is, an inborn God given temperment. So interesting reading your blog. Would love to have your CD!

    Thanks for your openness….I am trying to be more open myself….but struggle

    Shannon
    [email protected]

  4. Dear Renee,

    I really loved your devotion “The Real Me”. I have been reading (and praying) alot about my purpose and what God desires of me. Sometimes I find myself just going about my day like a robot…breakfast, getting the kids to school, work, supper, homework, and bed…and then it starts all over again. I truly want to do God’s will, but sometimes it’s hard for me to feel that this is His will. Please don’t misunderstand, I LOVE being a mom and wife! My family means everything to me! But, I’m not the only mom in the world – I guess that’s why I don’t feel unique. I guess that’s why I wonder if there’s something more that I’m just not picking up on. I do feel blessed though! God has truly been good! Thanks for your devotion and may you have a blessed day!

  6. Thank you for the devotion today-it fit right in with what has been on my mind lately! I too am a mom of two, never went to college, or had a roomate or really even left my town until I remarried three years ago. I have always struggled with “who am I other than a mom” and “what will I be one day?” Many things seem to be slowly coming into view. The biggest thing for me is fear of failure and rejection which has kept me “down” for most of my life. I want to want to succeed and progress in God’s way and time! Thank you everyone else for your comments as well. Now I don’t feel so alone!!
    Blessings to all of you~
    Krista
    [email protected]

  7. Hi Renee, just came back and was reading comments while drinking a morning cup of coffee. The open, honest comments of these sweet, precious ladies – even sharing their ages – which has truly blessed me as I’ll be 46 this year and had been thinking that all these comments usually come from younger women – and here I was mid-40’s, and like the Israelites have spent 40 wandering, wilderness years.
    Just wanted to say I’m praying for all you ladies – wish you were all here sharing a cup of coffee with me now. God loves you!!
    Joy
    [email protected]

  8. Renee, I read each devotional I get they Minister to me a lot. Over the years god has been teaching me that I need to remember who I am in Him and your article reminded me again that I am a work in process and God can and will take those negitive strengths and turn them around to be positive for Him.And the strengths can also become stronger. Thank you for the reminder, It came into my life at the right time. I am defintly a Sanguin Sisters in Christ Kathy [email protected]

  9. Wow! Psalm 139 is one of my favorite passages and I have so tried to quit comparing myself to others…but I never had seen it in this light! Thank you for opening up a new window in my soul, a place where I can search and find what God has for me, and me alone!!!

    Pamela in TX ([email protected])

  11. Dear Renee:

    I very much enjoyed you devotional today. The devotional spoke to me in a very real way and had me identifying with you. Thank you! God bless.

    Danielle
    [email protected]

  12. Dear Renee, When I came across “Uniquely You” I was fasting and praying for God to show me what is next in my life. I buried a son almost 4 years ago and finally am able to get on with my life. But how? I have an idea to help other motherr. I am working on that very slow. I keep asking myself “Is this all there is in life?” When I read CJ’s blog I thought she sounds a lot like me.

  13. Dear Renee,
    Having read your article “The Real Me”, makes me really wonder who I am. Maybe posting on here and entering your ‘contest’ will help me. I identify with the othere person who wrote “I, like other melancholy people, struggle against depression…”, maybe that’s my problem. It causes me constantly to wonder why I can’t be happy and go lucky like other people.
    [email protected]

  14. Dear Renee,
    I needed this meesage very badly, you see I live in a very controlling situation and at times I feel ready to give up and let go of my life, but I decided to read my email and found this through words of encouragement. Thank you for showing me that I can endure with God’s help.
    [email protected]

  15. WOW! Good post today again, Renee. Stuff to chew on as we each grow in the way God is leading us….some taller, some shorter, some with full folliage, some with just long reaching branches…we each grow as the master gardener has plans for us.

    [email protected]

  16. Good morning:

    Your article on Proverbs 31 really ministered to me today. I am a 41 year old divorced mother of three wonderful children ages 19, 18, and 11. My conversation with God has been regarding, this being the second phase of my life and right now it seems like a puzzle of a 1000 pieces. God has used many people to speak into my life regarding His purpose, but it just seems as though I am still in the wilderness. IOnce I became a Christian and doing the ministry of praise and worship, I felt and sometimes still feel like I have to have all of my “stuff” together in order for the worship to be effective. I see God blessing many people, but oftentimes I leave feeling burntout& exhausted. I also recently took an early buyout from my company and thought that it would be fairly easy for me to find new employment. Boy was I wrong! None of my friends know that I have not had an income since December, and because I am the person that they come to when they have issues and concerns, I am embarrased to let them know that I need help! Crazy isn’t it? I often wonder why noone notices when I am in pain, but I guess I have done a preety good job of covering it up. I know that the scriptures tell me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I often struggle with that. I am earnestly seeking God for guidance and answers…

  17. I have really enjoyed your blog and the comments left by other ladies. Thank you for your transparency. It’s incredible to know there are other women in this world thinking and struggling with the same things as me.
    Paula <><
    [email protected]

  18. Good God words for today.
    I stay focused on Psalm 139 so I do not get to carried away in the “why dids” .. why did God make me this way, I wish I …

    I border Choleric and Sanguine every time I take this test.

  19. Renee,

    I don’t usually post comments, however, this morning as I read your devotion for P31 I was touched in such a powerful way. Thank you! I hope to meet you in June at the She Speaks conference! God bless you in your ministry! Much love, Tammy Nischan

  20. What I’ve learned is that age is just a number, and there is no point in basing any decisions on the fact of what age we are. At 49, I am more grounded and at peace than I have ever been in my life. And it is because I am finally doing what comes natural to me, without “should”ing on myself for anything! I don’t aim to please everyone else, and I aim to please God. Bottom line, it is that simple.