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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Uniquely You!

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn’t really like who I was. I’d compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, “The Real Me” featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I’ve learned.

First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”

She’s right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others’ strengths and then be who He created us to be.

Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. If you don’t have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of “Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are” Workbook and CD.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I’d love to know your age and where you’re from.

Comments

  1. Thanks for this Devotion. I have always been so envious of those people who have a noticeable talent like, singing, art, writing etc. because when they are asked what they enjoy or what they would do if fear was no concern they can jump right to their answer. I have never been able to answer that question. There is nothing that I can say that I truely truely love to do besides be with family and sometimes I wonder if I really enjoy that or if that is something I say because other's say it? That is so sad I know. I need to do some searching and the fact that I am 31 scares me at times but now I feel like it is not to late. Thanks again. [email protected]

  2. I was just thinking about this sort of thing yesterday. I feel like I have sort of put 'me' away and have forgotten the purpose I was put here for in God's eyes. Thank you for your insight. Blessings to you!
    Andrea
    Age 39, in VA
    [email protected]

  3. What a great reminder today! Thank you! I am currently recovering from a huge 'indiscretion' in my life (that came at a time when I thought I *was* following God). I am trying to figure out who I am and how God can use this mess I've made (which I know He absolutely can for His glory). I am finding that when I seek His heart, more of the heart He created in me is revealed to me.
    And I loved your tweet earlier this week about your boys going on your run with you! 🙂

  4. This so describes me. I am 42 years old and I have never truly felt at peace with who I am. I have never found out what I want to do with my life (other than be a mom). Sometimes I think that is the only thing I can do…and many times I don't even think I can do that right. I am always trying to please everyone else and always compare myself to those around me. It is a lonely place to be!
    [email protected]

  5. Dear Anonymous at 7:52am. You are right – men definitely struggle with this too. I'm glad you pointed that out.

    I know that my husband watched and listened as I was discovering my purpose and it helped Him discover God's purpose for his life, too. He thought it would mean a job change but it's actually been more about him seeing ministry opps at work based on his unique shape. Also, getting involved in ministry at our church that fits his purpose has made a big difference. It's taken years but it's been so worth the effort and perseverance through the ups and downs.

  6. I like you have never really sat back and thought about what I like or who I am. I started working with a counsler not long ago who asked me some questions about this same subject and tell the truth even now I don't really know. I've always been the daughter, the wife, the mother, but who is Leslie?? That's the question I'm looking to answer.

    Leslie Cribbs [email protected]
    39 years old
    Phenix City, AL

  7. Jill, I can so identify with what you said…but I'm nearly 61 years old and it has taken me a lot longer to get where you are! Just last month I attended a HeartQuest week that completely transformed my life. I now know that my value and significance is not based on anything I do, but Who my Father is. And who I am in Him. He showed me so clearly and lovingly that I have kept Him at arm's length from me due to distrust and disappointments in my life that He had nothing to do with.

    He loves His daughters so much, and values them so much because they are His. He is waiting to pour out love on us; He is delighted in us! When I accepted these truths, my life was transformed. My striving has ceased…I live in FREEDOM; to love and be loved. To accept myself in Him and look to each day as a glorious new beginning to experience all He has for me that day!

    Connie Martin
    [email protected]

  8. Good Morning to all…as I was reading your article, I could so relate all that was mentioned.
    I too, have wonder myself if I was just a wanderer in this life. What is my purpose? What is the plan of God for me? What are my dreams?
    It is very encouraging to know that I am not the only woman discovering what her purpose is.
    As I set forth to discover exactly who I am in Christ, and my purpose, I believe that I am going to find much more of me then I thought.
    I pray that every woman that is also experiencing her God given talents, gifts, and purpose, come to the knowledge of exactly what her desire and dream is.

  9. This devotion ties in to where I am in my life right now. Monday I have to go to court for my divorce, after 33 years of marriage. This past year has been a roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs I am not sure which way is up. I have been seeking God, looking for answers, guidance, etc. Through this he has sustained me and given me the strength to go on. I have been a career woman all my life, but my family always came first. I thought I knew myself, until this happened.

    I am asked what am I going to do now, and I am not sure. I have been trying to keep busy, but I am finding that some of the things I used to do was because of him. I didn't realize how much of myself had been wrapped around his life, his wants, his desires and dreams. I was consumed by him and lost myself in the process.

    So now I am trying to find out who I am. And right now I am not sure. I just know that God gives me strength to face each day, and I enjoy the time I am having with God. The devotions I receive have helped me get back in tune with God, drawing me closer to him.

    Your article today made me realize I need to find out who I am, so I can fulfill God's plan for my life.

    Looking back now I can see that God made provisions for me to prepare me for the things I am facing now. He is always in control.

    But it is time to move forward and become the woman he wants me to be so I can fulfill the calling he has placed in my life.

    I pray that God will guide me and direct me in the path he wishes me to follow. Thank you Lord for this devotion today. Bless Renee as she continues to encourage woman in discovering themselves.

    Diana Madrid
    [email protected]

  10. Thank you for your devotional. I loved the statement that when we compare ourselves to someone else, we compare our insides to their outsides. So true!
    Michelle Pardue
    [email protected]

  11. At 43 I am where you were at 32, I don't know. I don't have some great desire to be an actor, doctor or walk on the moon. I kinda feel wife and mom is what I was ment to be.

    Earlier this year, things changed in my life and I began a relationship with God. Although I have been saved since I was 16 years old, I never had a relationship with God. I felt that I had a hard heart. Emotions were hard for me to express and crying never happened under any circumstance. So I prayed for a softer more caring and compassionate heart. This is happening. God has placed things on my heart to do, and it is easy. Something as easy as to pray for someone or go spend time with someone in the hospital.

    If money wasn't an issue, what would I do? I have thought about this lately. My hearts desire would be to give it away to organizations of great causes. Local rescue missions for men and women. Church members that have gone to other countries as missionaries. Christian organizations that help other people in so many ways.

    Maybe Gods choice for me is to have a caring heart. I don't know and I am still learning.

    [email protected]

  12. This is something I have always struggled with. I am 43 years old and have always had Jesus in my life. Even at this age and stage in my life I still struggle comparing myself with others and how if I could be just a little more like them. I need to pray that the Lord will help deliver me from that and that I will put that much focus on who He has created me to be!
    Angela Ramsey
    [email protected]

  13. Hi! Thank you so much for this message. This week I turned 50 and I have had such a difficult time. I have had a long, successful (by everyone's else's definition), a Ph.D., have travelled extensively for my job and STILL feel unfulfilled. I have committed myself to studying how I may begin to feel fulfilled by trying to gather an understanding of what God wants for me. I have just had to "empty" myself of my previous beliefs and am trying to ask God to guide me. Most importantly, I am trying to learn how to listen to God's directions! This type of info and encouragement really helps me. I have just begun my christian journey having been baptized only last month and I am hungry and thirsty for more knowledge and more opportunity for God to teach me. Please keep up your good work. I pray that you and all women can find deep fulfillment and love for self and God's purpose.

    [email protected]

  14. Your post in P31 today spoke to my heart. I have 4 wonderful children and I have been at home with them for over 20 years. One married last month and my youngest is entering 7th grade and I wonder who I am. Over the last 2 years this has been my cry ~ to learn who I am in Christ. My identity in Him is all that matters and I think I battle being "someone" for me. I am the people pleaser and understand your post today so well. I have no dreams except getting through today. Pray for me that God will direct me to understand His purpose for me outside my home. Thank you.

    Penny Whitley
    [email protected]

  15. I have never had a sense of "what I want to be when I grow up" either. I have just done what everyone else did when they were doing it. I am lucky in that my marriage is wonderful! I am a SAHM and I love it most of the time. I would love to find ways to be more fulfilled and a more joyful mother.
    [email protected]

  16. I was just confronted with this very question, "What do I like to do? What are my interests?" a couple of days ago and I don't have an answer. It was comforting to read your devotion to know that Christian women feel this too. There are so many times where I feel "too bruised" to be apart of the women at church. Although I know it (Jesus came to save the brokenhearted and to free the prisoners) in my head, to believe it in my heart and allow the Lord to effectively use my life experiences has been a struggle. And as I am writing I am reminded that I not live but Christ lives in me, the hope of Glory.

    I thank you for your willingness to share your lfe with so many. I pray that I may allow th3 Lord to to have His Way with me in my life. To do those things that please him and inturn please me.

    God Bless
    gina crouso
    [email protected]

  17. Your Crosswalk devotion and this blog post are just what I needed this morning. I continue to struggle with questions of Why Am I Here? What Am I Supposed to Be Doing?

    I continue to wait and pray about it meanwhile doing nothing.

    I am almost 40 and couldn't answer the question of what I would do if there were no limitations. I will be praying the prayer at the end of your devotion daily.

  18. Renee, Great words! Obviously I'm not the only one who can relate! At 33 I've spent much of my life not knowing who I was (and more importantly the first 22 years not knowing who's I was), so instead tried to be someone else. Like you say that is frustrating, exhausting and bound to be a loss. I was constantly comparing myself and never felt I measured up or was as worthy as the person next to me, but over the last few years God has really been working. It's not about who others think we are or even who we see, but who God sees and designed us to be. For me it was and at times still is hard to accept this and put my mind around it, but the process has begun and I'm thankful. He has me doing things I never dreamed of, but it's obvious He did. That's only possible when I surrender and be the person He made me to be. Renee, thanks for being uniquely you and encouraging all of us to be the same.
    Blessings from Iowa,
    Jill

  19. As a Women's Ministry Director it constantly amazes me how many women do not understand this concept. Once they do it is so exciting to watch lives transform and blossom.

    Thank you for enlightening many women God always has a purpose for what He does; even 'custom designing' lives.

    May God continue to use you in great ways for His kingdom work.

  20. Thank you so much for this devotional. God is definately speaking to me this morning. I am 37 years old, a mother, wife, and a special education teacher. Yet, I am not sure who I really am. I feel like I am so busy doing what I think I am suppose to be doing…and making sure everyone is happy, that I don't know who I am. This devotional has opened my eyes. I am going to spend time with God and find out what he desires of me and what His dreams are for my life here on earth.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this devotional.

    God Bless,
    Tina
    [email protected]

  21. Hey
    Men can feel this too!
    We have so much responsibility
    but we can question and ponder on what is my real purpose just like the ladies. It is a human thing especially at the 40's. Being in a career that really gives peace and a feeling of accomplishment is a human need.

  23. I am getting to the point in my life where I need to find the next path…my children are moving on to school. My purpose so far has been mommy. So, I am asking God what next. Thanks for the thoughts today!

    I am 34 and from Michigan.

  24. Wonderful post Renee! I can actually see myself somewhere in each of the personality types, but I probably lean more towards the Phlegmatic type, as my life has mostly been anything but peaceful.

    At the age of 37, I long to be living out God's plans and purposes for me. Still figuring that out, but as He draws me closer to Him, He also reveals more of that purpose to me.

    I was "that girl" that used to always compare myself to others. I'd like to say that part of me is gone, but I know that's not entirely true. However, I am more content with who I am than I ever have been in my entire life – all praise goes to God for that!

  26. Thanks for the devotion today. WOW!!this one really spoke to me.I am 44 years old and still struggle with doing for others and not enough for me. I plan on reading the book "Personality Plus". Thanks again. I have dreams on what I would like to use creative talents God has given me but don't know how to put them in place. I will be praying more for God to show me the direction He has planned for me.

  27. It looks like there are many of us who relate to your devotion today. I too hopped over here after reading your devotion this morning. Thank you for sharing your heart with us in such an open and honest way.

  28. Timing is everythng! I have really been struggling with this for the last 6-8 months. I can see pieces of myself if almost all the comments. I have 3 daughters (9 and 6 yo twins). I left a fairly high level job as a Chemical engineer when the twins were born because I did not want the lifestyle I saw my peers having. Now that I have time to breathe – I'm praying and trying to figure out what I should be doing. So far, not much response….. I'm 43 and feel like if I don't figure it out soon, it will be too late.
    [email protected]

  29. I have been trying to understand and have peace about what I am suppose to be doing now in my life. Thanks for the thoughts today and the scripture to ponder.
    [email protected]

  30. Today's devotional really hit home with me as well–I've been a people pleaser for years and constantly compare myself to those around me–and yes, it can be exhausting! Recently, I had the opportunity to take a "Discovering your spiritual gifts" class at my church, and it was life changing! My primary gift is the gift of faith–knowing this has not only helped me put the various pieces of my life together (past and present), but enables me to have more direction with the Lord for my future! Thanks for the insight and encouragement Renee!

    Melinda McCullah, 34

  32. I am 49 and reading the devotion this morning only confirmed that I do not know who I am or God's purpose for my life. I felt the Holy Spirit insist that I purchase the Shaped With Purpose Handbook & CD. I truly enjoyed the devotion and am thankful for your sharing those thoughts with us. God bless you!

  33. Thank you for this devotional Renee. God is amazing because this is exactly where I am at right now…trying to figure out who I am and what the Lord has uniquely designed me to do. Tonya at [email protected]

  34. Wow, just when you think your the only one who feels this way. I am going on 48, Stay at home mom who home schools 2 boys, who still is looking to fit in.
    Sherri
    [email protected]

  35. This devotion resonated with me. . . and many other ladies as well it seems! It is somewhat comforting to know I am not the only one still searching for what I want to be when I grow up. . . I sincerely want to know God's desire for me to know and execute my purpose for His glory and honor.
    [email protected]

  36. Thanks for sharing your age – I love knowing that so we can see where each of us is in life. I'm 42.

    The books I read that helped me were: Personality Plus and The Sacred Romance book and workbook.

    I think the first step is finding out we're not the only one who struggles with this. That is huge and freeing. The next step is taking time to discover and learn to love who we really are meant to me – in Christ – and in our uniqueness. This is a journey but so worth taking as we seek to become the woman God created us to be.

    Thanks for sharing your hearts and stories. I am reading each comment and praying for each one of you today.

    Sweet blessings,
    Renee

  37. WOW!! You always hit it right on the head when I'm really strugling with something. I've been really praying for the last 2 years what God's will for my life, which direction to go in There is so many things I enjoy doing, but figuring out my true passion. It changes from day to day. I am wishy washy I reckon. But this is so good to me. Thanks Renee…

  39. Thank-you so much for your devotional on Crosswalk today and for your blog! When I read the devotional I clicked right over to your blog.

    I am 33 years old and am always comparing myself to others. Not in the sense that I want to be like them exactly, but I look at others and think how mature and organized and confident they are. And next to them I feel like a little child who has a lot of growing up to do!

    Thank-you for the blog, and thank-you for the contest! My email is [email protected]

  41. Still stumbling around but trusting that God works in His own time frame! Maybe this is the way He'll show me what the way is to be!

    Thanks!

    Terry

    tammons at triad dot rr dot com

  42. Nice devotion Renee. I'm definitely going to pray on this a little harder. I get so caught up in my mommy-mode and doing what I think my family needs, that I guess I forget to ask God to lead me. I compare myself a lot to other women and am really going to try to focus more simply on God. Thanks for the big reminder.

  43. Like the other posts, I have been trying to figure out God's purpose for me. My mom died when I was 7 (I am now 43) and so many times I still feel like that lost little girl who just lost her mom. I have no idea of my spiritual gifts. I too would love to know the titles of the books you mentioned. Thanks for all you do to minister to others.
    [email protected]

  45. I have often felt that I don't know who I am or what my purpose is on this Earth. Thank you for posting this devotional and post today! It has given me much to think about!! [email protected]

  46. Thank you for this devotional today. I needed that reminder. In your Proverbs 31 devotional you mention that there were some books you read that helped you. Could you mention them? Thanks!

  47. Oh my goodness. You just described how I have felt to a T. I am 44 and been around the mountain so many times trying to find myself and thought I was the only one feeling this way. Thank you so much for this devotion this morning. This gives me hope that it is not too late to find out who God made me to be and that I am actually created for a purpose..

  48. Thank you so much for this devotion today. I pray that I will look at the way that God has made me for who I am. I do know that He has made each one of unique. Sometimes I forget about that and I guess allow my job and people define who I am. Thank-you for reminding me who I need to be more like, which is Christ. I have been so blessed by your website. Have a blessed day!
    [email protected]

  49. Wow, I can relate to this topic so well. I am 49 and still searching for who I am and why am I here. I am lost and looking for my passion.

  50. This devotion ties in to the book I am reading called "Captivating" At 46 years, I am still searching for what God has planned for me. I have had a long career, I married later in life and have two beautiful boys that are 5 and 10. There are times when I wish I was a tad younger so I could have more time to develop this plan. At present, I am a stay at home mom after leaving a job last August. For such a long time I have felt that having "this job" defined me. I thought I was super woman until I started staying home with my boys and realized what all I had been missing out on.

    I pray today that God leads me in the path that he wants me to go on. I am a people pleaser and tend to do what will help others instead of what I want.
    This website was sent to me by a friend and has given me the resource to stay on track daily. (before the work of being a mom sets in) I am glad God lead you in the direction to minister to us.

Uniquely You

My devotion “The Real Me” is featured today at Proverbs 31 website and Crosswalk. If you found my blog through my devotion, I am so glad you stopped by. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life – and all of my relationships – for the better. I hope I can encourage you with what I’ve learned.

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are, or why you do things the way you do? From the time I was in Jr. High, I didn’t really like who I was, so I compared myself to those around me and tried to figure out who people liked the most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I am convinced that comparison is our worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up best when she said, “When I compare myself with someone else, I can never measure up because I am comparing my insides with their outsides.” Isn’t it easy to compare how we feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside? Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but no one wins! God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. We need to encourage each other’s strengths and be who God created us to be. Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

You are uniquely you for your unique God-shaped purpose. We are all “God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”Ephesians 2:10, (NLT) God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s been writing since the beginning of time. There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind!

In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desires PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. Or simply leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of my CD and Workbook, Shaped with Purpose: A Practice Guide for Discovering Who You Are.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email.

Comments

  1. Renee,
    Your devotion today really hit home with me. I’m 38 and have no idea what I’m good at and I have no idea how to find out! I am married to someone who tries new things and almost always is good at it. Great for him, frustrating for me because I am a perfectionist and if I can’t do something well, I give up. Something I really need to work on.

    Thank you so much for your thoughts and comments today. At least now I feel like I have somewhere to start. I always thought I was alone in feeling this way, but after reading the many comments on your site, I see there are others out there just like me!

    Thanks again.
    God bless!
    Jeanne ([email protected])

  3. Dear Renee,

    Thank you so much for this devotional. I have struggled with who I am and what exactly God’s will is for my life for years.

    My story is exactly like C. J.’s but I just turned 47 and I have only 1 child at home. Other than that, she wrote what is on my heart.

    I want to encourage C. J. that she can write beautifully and thank her for sharing. It is so good to know that I’m not alone in this and that God isn’t finished with us yet!

    One of my own issues that drives me crazy is that I can see other people’s spiritual gifts very clearly and can discern God’s leading in their lives but can’t seem to see these things in my own life. (Is this a gift in and of itself?)

    I am excited and looking forward to getting your resources, whether I pay for them or win them.

    I discovered this website several months ago and am so thankful for it.

    May the Lord continue to bless you!

    Brenda

  4. What a gift from God your message was today. I do not always take the time to read them. Jesus knew I needed to. Unlike most who posted, I know who I am and finally really like me and know my purpose. I am 49 married, have 3 daughters,13, 11, and 10, have worked in health care continuesly since I was a teenager, do middle school minsitry and have been happy and content even through struggles for years now. 4 days ago my world turned upside down when my 13 year old confessed she is suffering with body image issues. She is a size 7 jrs, very pretty and has the most beautiful spirit I have ever seen. She, too, is involved in minisrty in our public MS and has led many to Christ. I feel she is under satans attack to stop her and our family from our outreach. Her pain has been so deep and thinks she hasnt felt real happiness for a long time. I have been clinging to all the bible verses you qouted. Please pray, Renee, for restoration and healing for Brittany.
    Thank you for letting Jesus show me his word today!

  5. This is a great word, I would love to get the book on Personalities…I am thinking I am the type that wants peace…I am almost 50 and still don’t know for sure what God has for me, and ‘what I want to be when I grow up!’ But I know the Lord has placed me in the same job as a legal assistant for 25 years next month for a reason, if I haven’t felt it was my true heart’s desire…this is a good subject to delve into, thank you for your today’s devotion!
    Blessings,
    Kelly

  7. wow,
    Thank you so much for reminding me of the temperments we have. We read a book in my ministry class long time ago called A Spirit Filled Temperment, I forget who wrote it but I am going to dig this book out and read it, this time really study it. I need to truly know me the way God created me for His purpose and knowing my temperments, personality traits, and just getting to know me better will be a great step. I also want to check out the book you recommended, I will look for it at the christian book store.
    Thanks again,
    Angel

  8. Renee – You spoke to so many truths this moring on the Proverbs 31 Encouragement for Today devotional and this post. I totally agree with you that becoming acquaintd with yourself through the understanding of your personality style is such a breaktrhough to freedom. It was for me and all my relationships. AND your commnent alluding to our comparisons to others is right on. IT is the foundation for discontent. Thanks for the reminders that encourage us to get back on track, focusing on the One who created us. God bless you, dear sister.

  10. can you direct me to the proverbs devotional mentioned in this devotional that is supposed to identify the different personalities. i clicked on the link but was unable to locate the article based on your description.
    thank you so much for your help
    janet

  11. Thank you, Renee for your words of encouragement this morning. I am in my forties & have 2 wonderful children in college & a great husband. I have been struggling with the question of what is God’s real purpose for me. Surely it’s not what I’m doing. My current position causes much stress & control over my life – very toxic environment. I don’t feel I have any useable talents or don’t know what they are. I know God is in control & will walk with me through it all but it sure doesn’t feel good or is rewarding, which is why I pray for Him to show me where He wants me.

  12. Wow! I didn’t realize so many other women felt this way too. I’ve often felt ashamed that I didn’t know who I was or or what dreams I had as a little girl. It was like a block I was afraid to go there and think about it because I didn’t know. I grew up as a middle child being the peace maker and giving in to be a “people pleaser”. I’ve been praying desperately to know the person God made me to be. I’ve recently discovered that I have a passion to see my kids serve Christ. But, I’m also at a career transition where I don’t want to return to my former occupation (transportation planning). I want to be my own boss to work around my children’s schedule. I’ve looked at my strengths and felt they are so ordinary…what can I do with them and use them as way to work into a new career? I’ve tossed around the idea of being a personal trainer because I love working out…but question myself if I have the passion and if this is right for me to pursue. I’ve had a lot of questions and prayers for God. But no direct or confirming answer. I’m afraid to move because I’ve felt I made a mistake in my first career where I put so much energy and education into pursuing. I don’t want to make the same mistake…so I’m waiting on God for direction.

  13. I am currently in school for Christian counseling through the NCCA and rmcm.org. It is a study of tempermant theory. It is so interesting seeing what my temperament is, an inborn God given temperment. So interesting reading your blog. Would love to have your CD!

    Thanks for your openness….I am trying to be more open myself….but struggle

    Shannon
    [email protected]

  14. Dear Renee,

    I really loved your devotion “The Real Me”. I have been reading (and praying) alot about my purpose and what God desires of me. Sometimes I find myself just going about my day like a robot…breakfast, getting the kids to school, work, supper, homework, and bed…and then it starts all over again. I truly want to do God’s will, but sometimes it’s hard for me to feel that this is His will. Please don’t misunderstand, I LOVE being a mom and wife! My family means everything to me! But, I’m not the only mom in the world – I guess that’s why I don’t feel unique. I guess that’s why I wonder if there’s something more that I’m just not picking up on. I do feel blessed though! God has truly been good! Thanks for your devotion and may you have a blessed day!

  16. Thank you for the devotion today-it fit right in with what has been on my mind lately! I too am a mom of two, never went to college, or had a roomate or really even left my town until I remarried three years ago. I have always struggled with “who am I other than a mom” and “what will I be one day?” Many things seem to be slowly coming into view. The biggest thing for me is fear of failure and rejection which has kept me “down” for most of my life. I want to want to succeed and progress in God’s way and time! Thank you everyone else for your comments as well. Now I don’t feel so alone!!
    Blessings to all of you~
    Krista
    [email protected]

  17. Hi Renee, just came back and was reading comments while drinking a morning cup of coffee. The open, honest comments of these sweet, precious ladies – even sharing their ages – which has truly blessed me as I’ll be 46 this year and had been thinking that all these comments usually come from younger women – and here I was mid-40’s, and like the Israelites have spent 40 wandering, wilderness years.
    Just wanted to say I’m praying for all you ladies – wish you were all here sharing a cup of coffee with me now. God loves you!!
    Joy
    [email protected]

  18. Renee, I read each devotional I get they Minister to me a lot. Over the years god has been teaching me that I need to remember who I am in Him and your article reminded me again that I am a work in process and God can and will take those negitive strengths and turn them around to be positive for Him.And the strengths can also become stronger. Thank you for the reminder, It came into my life at the right time. I am defintly a Sanguin Sisters in Christ Kathy [email protected]

  19. Wow! Psalm 139 is one of my favorite passages and I have so tried to quit comparing myself to others…but I never had seen it in this light! Thank you for opening up a new window in my soul, a place where I can search and find what God has for me, and me alone!!!

    Pamela in TX ([email protected])

  21. Dear Renee:

    I very much enjoyed you devotional today. The devotional spoke to me in a very real way and had me identifying with you. Thank you! God bless.

    Danielle
    [email protected]

  22. Dear Renee, When I came across “Uniquely You” I was fasting and praying for God to show me what is next in my life. I buried a son almost 4 years ago and finally am able to get on with my life. But how? I have an idea to help other motherr. I am working on that very slow. I keep asking myself “Is this all there is in life?” When I read CJ’s blog I thought she sounds a lot like me.

  23. Dear Renee,
    Having read your article “The Real Me”, makes me really wonder who I am. Maybe posting on here and entering your ‘contest’ will help me. I identify with the othere person who wrote “I, like other melancholy people, struggle against depression…”, maybe that’s my problem. It causes me constantly to wonder why I can’t be happy and go lucky like other people.
    [email protected]

  24. Dear Renee,
    I needed this meesage very badly, you see I live in a very controlling situation and at times I feel ready to give up and let go of my life, but I decided to read my email and found this through words of encouragement. Thank you for showing me that I can endure with God’s help.
    [email protected]

  25. WOW! Good post today again, Renee. Stuff to chew on as we each grow in the way God is leading us….some taller, some shorter, some with full folliage, some with just long reaching branches…we each grow as the master gardener has plans for us.

    [email protected]

  26. Good morning:

    Your article on Proverbs 31 really ministered to me today. I am a 41 year old divorced mother of three wonderful children ages 19, 18, and 11. My conversation with God has been regarding, this being the second phase of my life and right now it seems like a puzzle of a 1000 pieces. God has used many people to speak into my life regarding His purpose, but it just seems as though I am still in the wilderness. IOnce I became a Christian and doing the ministry of praise and worship, I felt and sometimes still feel like I have to have all of my “stuff” together in order for the worship to be effective. I see God blessing many people, but oftentimes I leave feeling burntout& exhausted. I also recently took an early buyout from my company and thought that it would be fairly easy for me to find new employment. Boy was I wrong! None of my friends know that I have not had an income since December, and because I am the person that they come to when they have issues and concerns, I am embarrased to let them know that I need help! Crazy isn’t it? I often wonder why noone notices when I am in pain, but I guess I have done a preety good job of covering it up. I know that the scriptures tell me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I often struggle with that. I am earnestly seeking God for guidance and answers…

  27. I have really enjoyed your blog and the comments left by other ladies. Thank you for your transparency. It’s incredible to know there are other women in this world thinking and struggling with the same things as me.
    Paula <><
    [email protected]

  28. Good God words for today.
    I stay focused on Psalm 139 so I do not get to carried away in the “why dids” .. why did God make me this way, I wish I …

    I border Choleric and Sanguine every time I take this test.

  29. Renee,

    I don’t usually post comments, however, this morning as I read your devotion for P31 I was touched in such a powerful way. Thank you! I hope to meet you in June at the She Speaks conference! God bless you in your ministry! Much love, Tammy Nischan

  30. What I’ve learned is that age is just a number, and there is no point in basing any decisions on the fact of what age we are. At 49, I am more grounded and at peace than I have ever been in my life. And it is because I am finally doing what comes natural to me, without “should”ing on myself for anything! I don’t aim to please everyone else, and I aim to please God. Bottom line, it is that simple.

  31. It’s so amazing how God works through others! Meaning you, and your blog. It was what i needed to read this morning. I somethimes doubt myself…

    I have just started going back to school, because I do want to try and use my talents in a way God wants me to. It was very scary to take the first step , but I felt I can either sit and think about it or do something!

    I have three children ages 16,9 and 8. I kept trying to find reasons and excuses not to pursue my dream and instead had support from everyone around me, including them. I was really feeling sad in my day to day routines of being just a “housewife”

    I know God wants us to be happy and sometimes we need to stop and focus on us and what our purpose is.I have been rewarded with good grades and some really amazing people. I now feel that I have made the first step in who God wants me to become, we are never to old to learn! I admit there is a long road ahead, but with Gods grace and love I can do anything!!

  32. WOW! Did your devotion this a.m. really speak to me and I didn’t even realize I was lost in myself! I have dreams but they are for others, my kids, my family, etc not for just me!
    I’m so lost that I see parts of each personality trait that seem to fit. I will have to get the book to figure myself out!
    I turn 40 in Sept. and my age has truly never bothered me but I was feeling more dread about this one. It may be that I am just so unsure of who I am outside of being a mom to 4 great kids and wife to a great husband who loves me. I feel like I’ve wasted some of those 40 years.
    Anyway, I am now giving myself the task to figure who I am by my birthday.

  33. Renee,
    A thought provoking article! I am 57 and still have no idea who God intended me to be. I am going to try to go down your path and figure it out! Thank you for sharing.
    Josie
    [email protected]

  34. Renee,

    I have been on a journey the last 6 months to find the real me. The latest discovery is that my desire and need to be flexible, available where ever I am needed, being secure deep down in my own choices, and never seeing anything but the good are actually spiritual gifts. I just figured I was weird. I scare some people and they leave me, and because of this I have been hurt. However God has given me such a deep peace and joy that gets me through anything. I know God has a big purpose for my life, and right now he is laying the ground work. God has provided jobs that allow me to use my learned skills(insurance), but also my natural gifts (caregiving). And with these jobs I also have the time to be a full-time mom to my boys and serve at church. I have been praying and seeking for God to design my life so money to live was there, but I would have the time to serve Him as well. God listens and answers if we truely believe and seek Him. This is what I have learned and keep on learning.
    I would love to be apart of the drawing for your book.

    Jennie; [email protected]

  35. Dear Renee,
    I am 44 and have had a fear of rejection since I was a little girl. I have been a chameleon all through grade school and high school which led me down a road of alcoholism; always trying to escape reality and hide from the world. I lost custody of my 3 children in the process but God is good… ALL the time. He has gently led me to sobriety of 6 years and has given me back custody of my oldest (who’s almost 17) 2 years ago.
    I recently took a spiritual gift quiz and was totally shocked at the results. Looking at my two highest gifts/results, I just don’t see it in me.
    I really have no clue as to my strengths and weaknesses or desires. I, too, catch myself comparing out and find myself wishing and wondering ~What would God have me to do… What if… Oh how I wish I could raise my family like that ~I am very sad in my heart most of the time. Once in a great while I get to feel and experience the true JOY of the Lord but it doesn’t usually stick around long and I’m back to wishing and daydreaming again.

  36. I got the devotional on my email. It caught my attention because if someone were to ask me the same question that you were asked, I wouldn’t know the answer. I’m 26, married, and mother of two, and I don’t know what I want to be “when I grow up” if you can understand what I’m saying. Can you be phlegmatic and sanguine at the same time? And maybe a little melancholy? I honestly can hardly answer the question about which personality I am. I have been struggling with who God wants me to be. I know that right now, my calling is to be a stay at home mom. But sometimes I find myself thinking, “What am I going to do with myself when my kids get in school? When they graduate from highschool and move out?” I don’t know. I am certainly going to read that Personality Plus book and would love to read your book about discovering who you are. Thank you so much for your devotional and your post. I am excited about finding out more about me and who God wants me to be.

  37. Thank you, Renee, for your time, effort and devotion to Christ through your unique talents.
    I personally feel most alive while teaching group exercise, physical adventures, leading small group Bible studies, bonding with strangers, visiting with women and children in our homes, carpooling with new friends and discovering who people are beneath the surface, deep conversations about God and life. What do these attributes equal? I would possible enjoy living in a women/children’s Christian camp. Hmmm…greatest dream is traveling to Africa, hearing their stories and hugging, crying, praying with them. Need hubby and daughter on board somehow. I believe God called me to be a missionary to Zimbabwe nearly 12 years ago. I know God will lead me ther one day. Until then, I’ll practice my talents locally.
    Thanks for inpsiring personal reflection, Renee! May God bless you and your ministry!
    [email protected]

  38. Hi Renee…I know I’ve already shared with you the profound affect of your devotional today. Your blog post is so personal to me as well.

    The day before I was to speak at a Ladies event a friend told me – “Don’t say anything of any great importance in the first five minutes because the ladies aren’t really listening to you anyway. They’re checking you out and looking you over to see if you are worthy to listen to”. *ouch* But, aren’t we all too quick to do that? Compare ourselves with others based on appearance. God’s Word says that “Man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart”. Must ask myself: What is my heart condition like today? If I was to dress to reflect the condition of my heart, wonder how often I would go out in public?

    Anyway…this is getting long. I posted a blog entry 2 days ago entitled, “Eye of the Beholder” – it ties in with these thoughts. Also, want to post another one later today – another story in my life about learning my value to God.

    I don’t know what plan God has for me…what lasting legacy I will leave behind…but I trust in a God who will reveal it to me as I surrender to Him. Maybe His plan for me today is to be loving to my husband, a good listener to my son, a faithful friend, a caring neighbour etc…all those things ARE God’s plan for me and I can’t consider them any less worthy than someone with what others see as a Bigger God story written across their life.

    Praying for you this weekend.
    Love & prayers,
    Joy

  40. I really liked your thoughts on this subject. I just really don’t know if I’m who God wants me to be yet. Are you ever too old to concern yourself with this? Does too much time pass until there’s no hope in ever figuring out what God’s purpose is for ones life?

  41. Renee

    Your devotional really struck my heart today. I am always struggling with who I am and what God intends for my life. I am really struggling right now because I have a chiropractic degree and practiced for 3 years before deciding to stay home with my infant daughter. Daily I deal with the guilt of not “working” especially with student loans to pay back. But no matter how guilty I feel I cannot leave my daughter in the care of another. I feel torn between my two “careers” and wonder daily if I’ve made the correct decision or if I should go back to work.

    Isn’t this the eternal struggle of the working mother? Long though has my thoughts been on what my purpose is and who am I? Do you ever leave somewhere thinking “why did I act like that–it’s not me” I have. Yet somehow revealing the real self has become almost impossible. Before I enter a new place it seems as I put on the mask. I have taken the personality test and am the “people pleaser” and I think this is one the obstacles that I have to overcome.

    Thank you for your thoughts today and the verse. I will think deeply on it.

    Tawnda
    [email protected]

  42. Wow, you have put words to feelings that I never would have been able to verbalize! I remember taking a “career interest” test in high school and they said “don’t worry you don’t need to know what you want to do right now.” At 43 I feel like I am still waiting….Satan has held me back with thoughts that I have no experience, no education (college)& too many responsibilities (7 kids) to find personal purpose and fulfillment in life (not that being a mom is not fulfilling). I know I am a sanguine personality and I am passionate for the LORD. He is leading me to some new places I never would have thought I would go (shepherding & speaking to women). I really need to work on my confidence and clarity of vision. Thanks for this post, it will help me to do both!

    Gratefully~~~Kelley

  43. Dear Renee,
    Your article on Proverbs 31 Ministries regarding “The Real Me” caught my attention. I am 50 years old and still wondering who I am supposed to be (what will I be when I grow up). At times I’ve caught ‘glimpses’ of who I might be, but they are more like odd puzzle pieces…I don’t really know how they fit together.

    As far as personality goes, I think I am melancholy but can see some of the other attributes at times.

    You mentioned burn-out and that ‘rings a bell’ for me. I have 4 children (which at this time are all living at home). Right now I am feeling like the life has been drained out of me…like a old leaf that sets in the sun…withered up and ready to blow away. I am wondering just what life is supposed to look like. My feelings often make me feel separated from God as though I have let Him down even though I have worked hard at raising 4 kids. ( I, like other melancholy people, struggle against depression…)

    People have told me that I can write…although I don’t feel equipped as I am not that knowledgeable with English grammar. I enjoy art and music and dance…but feel inadequate. I feel as though my life is slipping by and I am afraid that I will stand before God not having accomplished all that He had for me.

    I want to do something creative…not just maintenance (like cleaning, etc.)

    Thank you for your thoughts that you put in the article…I could really relate. I pray that God will give me what I need to find my way into all of His purposes for me.
    C.J. ([email protected])

  44. Cindy
    [email protected]

    First I want to thank you for all your words. I enjoy reading them and so often I feel like you know what I need to hear and read. After reading the devotional, I know I want to read that book! Boy have you described me. I have compared myself to others ALL the time, I am finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. I started journaling, which has really helped.

    I think I am Melancholy with a little Choleric.

    It has been since I have started making time for the Lord every day, that slowly he is revealing things about me, things that need to change and things that I need to do. In this whole process, he has also revealed that I was to organize a Woman’s Christian book club for busy women online (by blogging). Me! This is actually how I AM going to enjoy spending my free time. I have 13 women committed to this, and I am so excited. This is the first time I am facilitating something, so please please please say a little prayer for my Women’s Book Club Blog.

    A saying come to mind, If satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.

  46. Hi Renee!
    I love it when God speaks to me. This is an issue that I have been meditating on a lot lately. I’m eager to go through your workbook and continue discovering who I am. I have spent my life in relationships and being who the other person needed me to be so that each time a relationship failed I was left floating around with no direction because I have never taken enough time to establish my irrevocable identity. God’s brought me back to his open arms and I am discovering who I am and who I want to be, but my journey is far from over.
    Your words are an encouragement. Have a Super Blessed Day!
    ([email protected])

  48. I am currently in school for Christian counseling through the NCCA and rmcm.org. It is a study of tempermant theory. It is so interesting seeing what my temperament is, an inborn God given temperment. So interesting reading your blog. Would love to have your CD!

    Thanks for your openness….I am trying to be more open myself….but struggle

    Shannon
    [email protected]

  49. Renee, I read each devotional I get they Minister to me a lot. Over the years god has been teaching me that I need to remember who I am in Him and your article reminded me again that I am a work in process and God can and will take those negitive strengths and turn them around to be positive for Him.And the strengths can also become stronger. Thank you for the reminder, It came into my life at the right time. I am defintly a Sanguin Sisters in Christ Kathy [email protected]