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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Uniquely You!

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn’t really like who I was. I’d compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, “The Real Me” featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I’ve learned.

First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”

She’s right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others’ strengths and then be who He created us to be.

Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. If you don’t have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of “Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are” Workbook and CD.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I’d love to know your age and where you’re from.

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Comments

  2. I am 49 and reading the devotion this morning only confirmed that I do not know who I am or God's purpose for my life. I felt the Holy Spirit insist that I purchase the Shaped With Purpose Handbook & CD. I truly enjoyed the devotion and am thankful for your sharing those thoughts with us. God bless you!

  3. Thank you for this devotional Renee. God is amazing because this is exactly where I am at right now…trying to figure out who I am and what the Lord has uniquely designed me to do. Tonya at [email protected]

  4. Wow, just when you think your the only one who feels this way. I am going on 48, Stay at home mom who home schools 2 boys, who still is looking to fit in.
    Sherri
    [email protected]

  5. This devotion resonated with me. . . and many other ladies as well it seems! It is somewhat comforting to know I am not the only one still searching for what I want to be when I grow up. . . I sincerely want to know God's desire for me to know and execute my purpose for His glory and honor.
    [email protected]

  6. Thanks for sharing your age – I love knowing that so we can see where each of us is in life. I'm 42.

    The books I read that helped me were: Personality Plus and The Sacred Romance book and workbook.

    I think the first step is finding out we're not the only one who struggles with this. That is huge and freeing. The next step is taking time to discover and learn to love who we really are meant to me – in Christ – and in our uniqueness. This is a journey but so worth taking as we seek to become the woman God created us to be.

    Thanks for sharing your hearts and stories. I am reading each comment and praying for each one of you today.

    Sweet blessings,
    Renee

  7. WOW!! You always hit it right on the head when I'm really strugling with something. I've been really praying for the last 2 years what God's will for my life, which direction to go in There is so many things I enjoy doing, but figuring out my true passion. It changes from day to day. I am wishy washy I reckon. But this is so good to me. Thanks Renee…

  9. Thank-you so much for your devotional on Crosswalk today and for your blog! When I read the devotional I clicked right over to your blog.

    I am 33 years old and am always comparing myself to others. Not in the sense that I want to be like them exactly, but I look at others and think how mature and organized and confident they are. And next to them I feel like a little child who has a lot of growing up to do!

    Thank-you for the blog, and thank-you for the contest! My email is [email protected]

  11. Still stumbling around but trusting that God works in His own time frame! Maybe this is the way He'll show me what the way is to be!

    Thanks!

    Terry

    tammons at triad dot rr dot com

  12. Nice devotion Renee. I'm definitely going to pray on this a little harder. I get so caught up in my mommy-mode and doing what I think my family needs, that I guess I forget to ask God to lead me. I compare myself a lot to other women and am really going to try to focus more simply on God. Thanks for the big reminder.

  13. Like the other posts, I have been trying to figure out God's purpose for me. My mom died when I was 7 (I am now 43) and so many times I still feel like that lost little girl who just lost her mom. I have no idea of my spiritual gifts. I too would love to know the titles of the books you mentioned. Thanks for all you do to minister to others.
    [email protected]

  15. I have often felt that I don't know who I am or what my purpose is on this Earth. Thank you for posting this devotional and post today! It has given me much to think about!! [email protected]

  16. Thank you for this devotional today. I needed that reminder. In your Proverbs 31 devotional you mention that there were some books you read that helped you. Could you mention them? Thanks!

  17. Oh my goodness. You just described how I have felt to a T. I am 44 and been around the mountain so many times trying to find myself and thought I was the only one feeling this way. Thank you so much for this devotion this morning. This gives me hope that it is not too late to find out who God made me to be and that I am actually created for a purpose..

  18. Thank you so much for this devotion today. I pray that I will look at the way that God has made me for who I am. I do know that He has made each one of unique. Sometimes I forget about that and I guess allow my job and people define who I am. Thank-you for reminding me who I need to be more like, which is Christ. I have been so blessed by your website. Have a blessed day!
    [email protected]

  19. Wow, I can relate to this topic so well. I am 49 and still searching for who I am and why am I here. I am lost and looking for my passion.

  20. This devotion ties in to the book I am reading called "Captivating" At 46 years, I am still searching for what God has planned for me. I have had a long career, I married later in life and have two beautiful boys that are 5 and 10. There are times when I wish I was a tad younger so I could have more time to develop this plan. At present, I am a stay at home mom after leaving a job last August. For such a long time I have felt that having "this job" defined me. I thought I was super woman until I started staying home with my boys and realized what all I had been missing out on.

    I pray today that God leads me in the path that he wants me to go on. I am a people pleaser and tend to do what will help others instead of what I want.
    This website was sent to me by a friend and has given me the resource to stay on track daily. (before the work of being a mom sets in) I am glad God lead you in the direction to minister to us.

Uniquely You

My devotion “The Real Me” is featured today at Proverbs 31 website and Crosswalk. If you found my blog through my devotion, I am so glad you stopped by. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life – and all of my relationships – for the better. I hope I can encourage you with what I’ve learned.

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are, or why you do things the way you do? From the time I was in Jr. High, I didn’t really like who I was, so I compared myself to those around me and tried to figure out who people liked the most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I am convinced that comparison is our worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up best when she said, “When I compare myself with someone else, I can never measure up because I am comparing my insides with their outsides.” Isn’t it easy to compare how we feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside? Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but no one wins! God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. We need to encourage each other’s strengths and be who God created us to be. Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

You are uniquely you for your unique God-shaped purpose. We are all “God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”Ephesians 2:10, (NLT) God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s been writing since the beginning of time. There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind!

In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desires PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. Or simply leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of my CD and Workbook, Shaped with Purpose: A Practice Guide for Discovering Who You Are.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email.

Discover more from Renee Swope

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Comments

  1. It’s so amazing how God works through others! Meaning you, and your blog. It was what i needed to read this morning. I somethimes doubt myself…

    I have just started going back to school, because I do want to try and use my talents in a way God wants me to. It was very scary to take the first step , but I felt I can either sit and think about it or do something!

    I have three children ages 16,9 and 8. I kept trying to find reasons and excuses not to pursue my dream and instead had support from everyone around me, including them. I was really feeling sad in my day to day routines of being just a “housewife”

    I know God wants us to be happy and sometimes we need to stop and focus on us and what our purpose is.I have been rewarded with good grades and some really amazing people. I now feel that I have made the first step in who God wants me to become, we are never to old to learn! I admit there is a long road ahead, but with Gods grace and love I can do anything!!

  2. WOW! Did your devotion this a.m. really speak to me and I didn’t even realize I was lost in myself! I have dreams but they are for others, my kids, my family, etc not for just me!
    I’m so lost that I see parts of each personality trait that seem to fit. I will have to get the book to figure myself out!
    I turn 40 in Sept. and my age has truly never bothered me but I was feeling more dread about this one. It may be that I am just so unsure of who I am outside of being a mom to 4 great kids and wife to a great husband who loves me. I feel like I’ve wasted some of those 40 years.
    Anyway, I am now giving myself the task to figure who I am by my birthday.

  3. Renee,
    A thought provoking article! I am 57 and still have no idea who God intended me to be. I am going to try to go down your path and figure it out! Thank you for sharing.
    Josie
    [email protected]

  4. Renee,

    I have been on a journey the last 6 months to find the real me. The latest discovery is that my desire and need to be flexible, available where ever I am needed, being secure deep down in my own choices, and never seeing anything but the good are actually spiritual gifts. I just figured I was weird. I scare some people and they leave me, and because of this I have been hurt. However God has given me such a deep peace and joy that gets me through anything. I know God has a big purpose for my life, and right now he is laying the ground work. God has provided jobs that allow me to use my learned skills(insurance), but also my natural gifts (caregiving). And with these jobs I also have the time to be a full-time mom to my boys and serve at church. I have been praying and seeking for God to design my life so money to live was there, but I would have the time to serve Him as well. God listens and answers if we truely believe and seek Him. This is what I have learned and keep on learning.
    I would love to be apart of the drawing for your book.

    Jennie; [email protected]

  5. Dear Renee,
    I am 44 and have had a fear of rejection since I was a little girl. I have been a chameleon all through grade school and high school which led me down a road of alcoholism; always trying to escape reality and hide from the world. I lost custody of my 3 children in the process but God is good… ALL the time. He has gently led me to sobriety of 6 years and has given me back custody of my oldest (who’s almost 17) 2 years ago.
    I recently took a spiritual gift quiz and was totally shocked at the results. Looking at my two highest gifts/results, I just don’t see it in me.
    I really have no clue as to my strengths and weaknesses or desires. I, too, catch myself comparing out and find myself wishing and wondering ~What would God have me to do… What if… Oh how I wish I could raise my family like that ~I am very sad in my heart most of the time. Once in a great while I get to feel and experience the true JOY of the Lord but it doesn’t usually stick around long and I’m back to wishing and daydreaming again.

  6. I got the devotional on my email. It caught my attention because if someone were to ask me the same question that you were asked, I wouldn’t know the answer. I’m 26, married, and mother of two, and I don’t know what I want to be “when I grow up” if you can understand what I’m saying. Can you be phlegmatic and sanguine at the same time? And maybe a little melancholy? I honestly can hardly answer the question about which personality I am. I have been struggling with who God wants me to be. I know that right now, my calling is to be a stay at home mom. But sometimes I find myself thinking, “What am I going to do with myself when my kids get in school? When they graduate from highschool and move out?” I don’t know. I am certainly going to read that Personality Plus book and would love to read your book about discovering who you are. Thank you so much for your devotional and your post. I am excited about finding out more about me and who God wants me to be.

  7. Thank you, Renee, for your time, effort and devotion to Christ through your unique talents.
    I personally feel most alive while teaching group exercise, physical adventures, leading small group Bible studies, bonding with strangers, visiting with women and children in our homes, carpooling with new friends and discovering who people are beneath the surface, deep conversations about God and life. What do these attributes equal? I would possible enjoy living in a women/children’s Christian camp. Hmmm…greatest dream is traveling to Africa, hearing their stories and hugging, crying, praying with them. Need hubby and daughter on board somehow. I believe God called me to be a missionary to Zimbabwe nearly 12 years ago. I know God will lead me ther one day. Until then, I’ll practice my talents locally.
    Thanks for inpsiring personal reflection, Renee! May God bless you and your ministry!
    [email protected]

  8. Hi Renee…I know I’ve already shared with you the profound affect of your devotional today. Your blog post is so personal to me as well.

    The day before I was to speak at a Ladies event a friend told me – “Don’t say anything of any great importance in the first five minutes because the ladies aren’t really listening to you anyway. They’re checking you out and looking you over to see if you are worthy to listen to”. *ouch* But, aren’t we all too quick to do that? Compare ourselves with others based on appearance. God’s Word says that “Man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart”. Must ask myself: What is my heart condition like today? If I was to dress to reflect the condition of my heart, wonder how often I would go out in public?

    Anyway…this is getting long. I posted a blog entry 2 days ago entitled, “Eye of the Beholder” – it ties in with these thoughts. Also, want to post another one later today – another story in my life about learning my value to God.

    I don’t know what plan God has for me…what lasting legacy I will leave behind…but I trust in a God who will reveal it to me as I surrender to Him. Maybe His plan for me today is to be loving to my husband, a good listener to my son, a faithful friend, a caring neighbour etc…all those things ARE God’s plan for me and I can’t consider them any less worthy than someone with what others see as a Bigger God story written across their life.

    Praying for you this weekend.
    Love & prayers,
    Joy

  10. I really liked your thoughts on this subject. I just really don’t know if I’m who God wants me to be yet. Are you ever too old to concern yourself with this? Does too much time pass until there’s no hope in ever figuring out what God’s purpose is for ones life?

  11. Renee

    Your devotional really struck my heart today. I am always struggling with who I am and what God intends for my life. I am really struggling right now because I have a chiropractic degree and practiced for 3 years before deciding to stay home with my infant daughter. Daily I deal with the guilt of not “working” especially with student loans to pay back. But no matter how guilty I feel I cannot leave my daughter in the care of another. I feel torn between my two “careers” and wonder daily if I’ve made the correct decision or if I should go back to work.

    Isn’t this the eternal struggle of the working mother? Long though has my thoughts been on what my purpose is and who am I? Do you ever leave somewhere thinking “why did I act like that–it’s not me” I have. Yet somehow revealing the real self has become almost impossible. Before I enter a new place it seems as I put on the mask. I have taken the personality test and am the “people pleaser” and I think this is one the obstacles that I have to overcome.

    Thank you for your thoughts today and the verse. I will think deeply on it.

    Tawnda
    [email protected]

  12. Wow, you have put words to feelings that I never would have been able to verbalize! I remember taking a “career interest” test in high school and they said “don’t worry you don’t need to know what you want to do right now.” At 43 I feel like I am still waiting….Satan has held me back with thoughts that I have no experience, no education (college)& too many responsibilities (7 kids) to find personal purpose and fulfillment in life (not that being a mom is not fulfilling). I know I am a sanguine personality and I am passionate for the LORD. He is leading me to some new places I never would have thought I would go (shepherding & speaking to women). I really need to work on my confidence and clarity of vision. Thanks for this post, it will help me to do both!

    Gratefully~~~Kelley

  13. Dear Renee,
    Your article on Proverbs 31 Ministries regarding “The Real Me” caught my attention. I am 50 years old and still wondering who I am supposed to be (what will I be when I grow up). At times I’ve caught ‘glimpses’ of who I might be, but they are more like odd puzzle pieces…I don’t really know how they fit together.

    As far as personality goes, I think I am melancholy but can see some of the other attributes at times.

    You mentioned burn-out and that ‘rings a bell’ for me. I have 4 children (which at this time are all living at home). Right now I am feeling like the life has been drained out of me…like a old leaf that sets in the sun…withered up and ready to blow away. I am wondering just what life is supposed to look like. My feelings often make me feel separated from God as though I have let Him down even though I have worked hard at raising 4 kids. ( I, like other melancholy people, struggle against depression…)

    People have told me that I can write…although I don’t feel equipped as I am not that knowledgeable with English grammar. I enjoy art and music and dance…but feel inadequate. I feel as though my life is slipping by and I am afraid that I will stand before God not having accomplished all that He had for me.

    I want to do something creative…not just maintenance (like cleaning, etc.)

    Thank you for your thoughts that you put in the article…I could really relate. I pray that God will give me what I need to find my way into all of His purposes for me.
    C.J. ([email protected])

  14. Cindy
    [email protected]

    First I want to thank you for all your words. I enjoy reading them and so often I feel like you know what I need to hear and read. After reading the devotional, I know I want to read that book! Boy have you described me. I have compared myself to others ALL the time, I am finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. I started journaling, which has really helped.

    I think I am Melancholy with a little Choleric.

    It has been since I have started making time for the Lord every day, that slowly he is revealing things about me, things that need to change and things that I need to do. In this whole process, he has also revealed that I was to organize a Woman’s Christian book club for busy women online (by blogging). Me! This is actually how I AM going to enjoy spending my free time. I have 13 women committed to this, and I am so excited. This is the first time I am facilitating something, so please please please say a little prayer for my Women’s Book Club Blog.

    A saying come to mind, If satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.

  16. Hi Renee!
    I love it when God speaks to me. This is an issue that I have been meditating on a lot lately. I’m eager to go through your workbook and continue discovering who I am. I have spent my life in relationships and being who the other person needed me to be so that each time a relationship failed I was left floating around with no direction because I have never taken enough time to establish my irrevocable identity. God’s brought me back to his open arms and I am discovering who I am and who I want to be, but my journey is far from over.
    Your words are an encouragement. Have a Super Blessed Day!
    ([email protected])

  18. I am currently in school for Christian counseling through the NCCA and rmcm.org. It is a study of tempermant theory. It is so interesting seeing what my temperament is, an inborn God given temperment. So interesting reading your blog. Would love to have your CD!

    Thanks for your openness….I am trying to be more open myself….but struggle

    Shannon
    [email protected]

  19. Renee, I read each devotional I get they Minister to me a lot. Over the years god has been teaching me that I need to remember who I am in Him and your article reminded me again that I am a work in process and God can and will take those negitive strengths and turn them around to be positive for Him.And the strengths can also become stronger. Thank you for the reminder, It came into my life at the right time. I am defintly a Sanguin Sisters in Christ Kathy [email protected]

  20. I have really enjoyed your blog and the comments left by other ladies. Thank you for your transparency. It’s incredible to know there are other women in this world thinking and struggling with the same things as me.
    Paula
    <
    [email protected]