Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
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When i get lost in caretaking, i live life just doing the next thing. I again realized that "without vision the people perish". i have never dreamed of what could be…."with God all things are possible". Thanks for a new courage to ask…
I am sharing this on my FB page for others to be blessed 🙂
Thank you for your devotion today, you have been hitting the nail on the head for me lately! I've really been bothered by how I compare myself to co-workers and friends. I have begun to see the damage it is doing to me and some relationships. The prayer at the end of your devotion is great and helpful for me to begin praying specifically about this issue. And, I always love reading Ps 139:13, it puts this kind of thing into perspective for me. Thx, Jacquie ([email protected])
Yes I am definitely sharing your devotion on Facebook!
God bless,
Heather
Reading your devotional really hit home! I do think it is a struggle to do what you (think) you need to do and be for others, while at the same time recognizing our own true self and needs.
Anna
My daughter and I have fought alot lately. I told her this morning that today I would try to understand her more and that she do the same with me. Our problem – my expectations. I wanted all As in school and even though she is a JR in high school I still email all teachers and make frequent appearances at school.
I need to LET GO & LET GOD help her decide what her purpose is….not mine.
what an incredible and much needed topic in th elives of every woman! I would love to read this book, renee and share it with other woman who struggle to know the love God has for them and how powerfully He can use them!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about finding the
"Real You". You blessed me!
From Susan
You give me a lot to think about. I think I have been one of those that tries to be what everyone else wants me to be. If only I had the resources to do what I would like. I allow the busyness of every day rob me of what I wnat to do but I have to support my family. time to read your book and do some real soul searching.
Your message spoke to the deepest places in my spirit. I have spent my entire life trying to be who everyone else needed me to be and have only just realized that I have not honored God's plan for my life. It is with a renewed sense of excitement in His word that I am embarking on a journey to know myself and to believe that I am not being selfish by doing so. Seeking His plan for me is indeed a form of worship and praise. Please pray for my journey. He made me and I am indeed wonderful! Halleluiah!!! Paige
I can't wait to read both of your books. I struggle with who I am and should be in Gods eyes.
Please enter me in the drawing Renee. I feel like God is speaking to me through your devotion today and want to hear more!
God bless you!
Heather
I am learning to be grateful and confident in who God has made me. I am dealing with anger against others and self for changing myself to please others or fit in. I somehow forgot who God told me I was and who I was made for, Himself but I am asking God to give me ears to hear again.
Wow, your P31 devo today is right in line with what I've beeen thinking and praying lately! I have some dreams and ideas, but I have fear and lack confidence too. What I've been praying about though, is that God would lead and direct and show me the plans He has for me; where is it He wants me and what is it He wants me doing with the gifts He's given me and the unique way He's made me.
Thanks for the affirmation!
I am in a place in my life where I desire a higher, inner righteousness not based on outward experience. I want to follow hard after the Lord. I have not always been grateful over the person God made me but I am learning to be confident in who He made me and who He made me for, Himself.
A much needed devotional for me today as I am struggling with several issues going on in my life. I am 51 and have struggled with worry and doubt for most of my life.
When you are in the storms of life, you really doubt your self worth and why God has you where you are.
A wonderful devotion and prayer as I never thought of asking God to reveal my dream HE has for me. Thank for you all your encouragement and sharing what God has done and is doing through you.
Dierdre
I would love to read your new book. I think all women struggle with this issue.
Thanks,
K
Simply amazing how connected we all are. Can't wait to read your book!
It was a relief to know that I am not the only thirty-something woman who has no idea what she's good at or what she's passionate about. I never thought of asking God what His dreams are for me; I didn't even know that He had dreams. It's so uplifting to know that it's never too late to figure out who I am.
This was very good for me to read. I have been trying to be someone else my whole life and now i am 25 yrs. old.The hardest part is i compare myself with my best friend all the time. I am going to being praying for what Gods dreams and goals are for me becuase right now i am in a place where I am stuck in life and not moving foward