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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

There is No One Like You!

Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?

At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.

In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.

Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.

Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.

Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.

But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.

In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.

The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20

God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.

So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!

I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.

I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!

If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:

  • To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
  • To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)

A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)


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Comments

  1. I have always been that woman… being "this" for him, "that" for her and "the other" for myself. That can be very worrisome and makes for a weary heart/soul. I thought I had a dream, I thought I knew what it was… turns out, I don't. Well, at least I don't know what it is. I am in the process of reading the book "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson and it has made me really question IF I even have a dream, much less trying to know what that dream is. I am lost and am praying daily for God to show me HIS will for my life. That is really what it is all about and I am trying to focus on being constantly in HIS presence, for it is there that I will find peace. Thank you for your words today. It lets me know I am not alone. I am looking forward to your book! 🙂

  3. I am a pleaser…and need to ask God to show me who HE created me to be…at 40+ I feel I should already know… I can't wait to read your book! 🙂 Cindy LouWho

  4. Great devotional! A few years ago I attended a day retreat at my church. One of the sessions was about passions/dreams and I realized that I don't seem to have any. Pretty depressing. Please enter me into your contest! Thanks!
    [email protected]

  5. I am 35 and still don't know who I am or what my dreams are. I THOUGHT I knew, but it turns out, I really don't. I am in the process of reading "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson and I have had to really put my mind to work and open my heart to even know if I even HAVE a dream much less knowing WHAT my dream is. I have always been the one who is what everyone else wants me to be and, frankly, it gets very worrisome trying to be "this" for him and "that" for her and "the other" for myself… I don't fit in. I am praying daily that God will show me HIS plan for my life… that is the only one that really matters! Thank you for your words today… I am looking forward to your book. 🙂

  6. This really spoke to me today. How often do I find myself wandering…what do I want to do for myself. Even the things I choose to do, I wonder if I choose for the right reasons. It reminds me when I read an obituary and it states what that person liked to do…and I wonder…what will mine say? Clean the house? Is that God's plan for me?

  8. I actually have the opposite problem of yours in a way: when I was younger I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to become. But now the older I get, the more vague the understanding and vision get to the point of me having no idea what I should actually be/become,especially if we throw in 'what does God want/expect me to be' and do with my life…then I am really out of ideas. But I really liked your devotional today and it encouraged me to start thinking about it more than I do (I usually prefer to brush it off), and in particular I liked the wording of the prayer. Thank you!

  9. What timing! Just last night my son asked me what I would want to do if money was no problem. I couldn't answer him. I had no idea. I realized then that I had no dreams for myself. I just want to get through the day. Wake up the next morning and get through that day. I'm the one that makes sure everyone else's day runs smoothly. That they have what they need. I have no idea what I need or want.

  10. What a neat thought to learn who the real you is. I was just thinking the other day about what God's purpose was for me and hoping that I hadn't missed the sign he had given me. I would LOVE to know who I really am aside from a wife, mother, daughter and friend.

    Thank you!

    Amy Lowery

    [email protected]

  11. Thank you so much for writing this. It is so easy to be who others want us to be rather than what God had called us to be. I would love to win your new book!

  12. I don't have a blog spot, but wanted to tell you that your devotion today fit me to a "T."
    I'm 44 next month and am still unsure of any dream. My childhood was quite tramatic with a father who suffered from schizophrenia & alcoholism…plus other painful occurrences which I won't get into. I was too busy "surviving" to have time for dreams, much less have one of my own. In 2002, God started showing me How much He loves ME…daily loading me up with grace & mercy. It is my desire & prayer to know what His drem for me is. Thx 4 your devotion, sharing your wounds. IN Him- Melinda Schelling

  13. I found your blog through the Proverbs 31 devotion today. I needed your words, on your blog and devotion.

    I make so much "noise" trying to fit the roles I *think* I need to fill, that I drown out His voice. I don't know what I want to be doing or what my dreams are, but I don't know how to figure out it out, either! 🙂

    Thanks for the reminder that it's not selfish to take some time for myself to discover my God-given dreams and talents.

  14. "FAKE" is the word that comes up when you text my name, which is ironic because that has been my overwhelming feeling for many, many years. I struggle with who am I and why am I here…..So many wasted years, it is time to get this figured out and move on in the Truth and Light of God's plan for me. I related with the example in your devotional of not having dreams and would like to find God's vision for my life.

  15. This post today hit home with me as I too am a people pleaser.
    The only thing that I ever wanted to do was to be a stay at home wife and mother but never realized that dream because when my kids were little (they are now 17 & 21)my husband and myself did not put our full faith and trust in the Lord. So of course the world always got in the way. I would love to have you're new book, it sounds great!
    Thanks [email protected]

  17. "FAKE" is the word that comes up when you text my name, which is ironic because that has been my overwhelming feeling for many, many years. I struggle with who am I and why am I here…..So many wasted years, it is time to get this figured out and move on in the Truth and Light of God's plan for me. I related with the example in your devotional of not having dreams and would like to find God's vision for my life.

  18. I know some of the purposes God has for my life..mother, daughter, sister, friend..I know I am just scratching the surface. Beth Reed Adkins

  19. God's timing is always, perfect. I needed to hear this today, thank you for sharing you heart. Looking forward to reading your book!

  20. Wow! It was like you were writing about me. Always trying to please everyone in my life while having no idea what my dreams are or God's dreams are for me. Thanks for sharing your story.

    Lisa K

  21. I am ready to find confidence in who I am in the Lord and discover who he wants me to be! Looking forward to reading your book!
    Cindy

  22. Just in addition to my earlier comment. I have a friend who used to ask everytime he called – "what are your thoughts, feelings and needs or wants as a woman today"? I hated that question and would get furious with him – saying, "I DON'T KNOW! STOP ASKING ME THAT!". As a writer the one thing i don't do is journal. I can't seem to make myself sit down and just write about what i'm feeling even. What is wrong with me?!

  25. wow that is the very same question I ask myself all the time. I'm 48 and floundering with who am I and what is my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing with my life??? I've been married & divorced twice and am the mother of 5 but who am I…I DON'T KNOW!!! Wow did your words hit me smack in the face. I love the title: The journey of my heart, my personal journal is What is it all about? Who am I???…a search.
    Best regards,
    Ms J. Reeves

  28. Wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear today. Just this morning, the words "I can't do this anymore" came out of my mouth. I need this book now! I am a 49 year old stay-at-home mom with 2 wonderful kids ages 6 & 9. My marriage has been struggling for years, lack of intimacy & communication. I lack the strength & patience to deal with every day life issues. I would never hurt myself or anyone else physically, but verbally or emotionally is different. I do tend to fly off the handle too much and I am very disappointed in myself almost on a daily basis. I know this has to stop and I have been praying & reading God's word everyday for about 125 days now but some days I just feel lost. I am trying to start an encouragement group at my church and this book would be great.

  29. Renee this sounds like exactly what i need. I remember when i was in HS, people would ask what do you want to do after graduation. I didn't have a clue and at 58 years old today i still don't have a clue. I think i'm afraid to have a dream or a goal in my life. I'm a writer and write poetry and even a play. I have had some poems published but, i seem to sit on what i do and never progress with this talent God has obviously given me. I think i need help and this book and your study may be just what the Lord is leading me too. Thank you for your openess and desire to help others.

  31. I sure needed this today! I have really been struggling trying to be who I think I should be for everyone, getting burned out and not knowing what God's plan for ME truly is. Thanks for helping me straighten out my path!

  33. Oh Renee,
    How this devo touched my heart! I sooo need help. This is an issue with me and you helped me to understand myself a little better. My mind is really messed up right now, I can't explain. just need to thank you and hope I can win a copy of your book. I can't believe you struggle with this. I think you are great.

    God Bless Ya!
    Dana

    [email protected]

  34. Single again, three teenage children, a failed business and a husband who simply walked away. I have found both solace and companionship reading P31. I have been praying for God to show me the road to my ultimate purpose. I recognize my passions but need to turn those into "profits". I am looking forward to your book. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself. Your words make a difference….

  35. Hello Renee,

    Today’s devotion was confirmation to me because I have been praying and asking God to make me the woman He has me to be. On time devotion! Thank you for sharing!

  36. Your blog today hit me right between the eyes…. I have been buried in caring for my husband who had a stroke at 57 eight months ago, juggling the healthcre of my 16 year old daughter with CF, and I really don't know who I am or what God even could possibly do to use me….I really am in a place of needing direction & purpose. Tammy

  38. Wow, Renee, this introduction to this book really hit me where I need it. Thank you for sharing your heart! My friend and I were just talking the other day how our insecurities get in the way of what God wants us to do.

  39. I want to be the person that God created me to be; however, I have a hard time figuring out who that person really is. Thank you for your encouragement today. I look forward to reading your book! I am also going to post this on my facebook page!
    Megan McCormick

  42. Love this post and the devotional at proverbs 31. I'm a 31 yr old wife and mother of 2. Some things have come to light that have shaken our marriage, and I've been in a self-discovery process for the last couple of months. I am trying to figure out who I have become over the last few years and who I should be. This post has come along at the right time for me. Thank you!

  43. I can completely relate to so much of what you said, and feel like there's still something out there that I'm missing out on or not fulfillng in my life. I would love to have a copy of your book to discover more about this topic!

  46. I read your post on the Proverbs 31 email today. It was such an encouragement. I've spent 50 years trying to be what others have wanted me to be – very frustrating. Compounded with having Bipolar Disorder and being a pastor's wife it has been so tiring.
    I have finally come to the point in my life that the disease that has held me captive can actually be a blessing to not only me but to others. Your post is another confirmation and encouragement to move forward in what God has called me to do (not what I would have chose)but wonderful just the same. I can't wait to read your new book. Blessings, Lorrie

  47. I had an amazing revelation about myself. I had gone my entire 43 years putting every thing and every one that I have blessed with in my life house, family, children car etc. into a category that excluded myself. All of these things I acknowledged came from, made by and on loan from God. All was his but not me. My view of myself was flawed, a mistake, damaged one that needed fixing or to simply disappear. Finally he showed me that I too am his, I was created in his image and I am perfect the way I am. Completely his to do with as he sees fit and to remain here and occupy until he calls me home.

  48. Since I am not on facebook I posted it here on my blog http://hiddenwisdom-savannahhutchinson1208.blogspot.com/2011/05/amazing-post-by-renee-swope.html Although there is only opne follower I believe that it will touch the lives of whomever may come across my blog!

    One last thing,
    If I were to win I would give one copy to my sister in law as we had this discussion over the weekend about the dangers of compairing ourselves with others and also try to avoid prayer envy! And the other copy I would give to my mother/sister. These are my family members but most my sisters in christ whom are the closest and dearest to me. Praise God for women lie you who listen to the calling and are used to bless so many others!

  50. I am so ready to figure out what my purpose is. I have struggled with this for a long time all the while feeling like I'm just not very good at anything. I know He has a plan for me and it's time for me to listen and figure that out. I'm relieved to see I'm not the only one and I wish all of us encouragement on this journey of discovery.