Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
**** Doubt Diet Sign-Ups ****
You can now sign up for my FREE “7-day Doubt Diet” in the right top sidebar!!
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
I needed to hear this as life seems to be changing. And now in a real place to see who I am. Not define by what I had to do. But don't think in the last 15 years really look to see who I was created to be.
I was oh so confident of my "mission" as long as I was in my classroom and teaching my babies. It is now that I am retired that I am searching for what is next. I am CONFIDENT that there is a next and am asking God to lead me there. God Bless you and your ministry. Paula
Thank you for your devotion. I am a 44 year old woman who is constantly comparing myself and sadly my family to others. It is so destructive. I don't believe I have the gift of anything to offer another person. It leaves me in a funk many times. I look forward to reading your book.
rwhite
I was that woman, the one who didn't know what I wanted. I, too, want to be the woman God desires for me to be, but I often compare myself to others thinking each one of them "has it all together." Your book would help me truly find the woman God planned me to be. Thanks for using your gifts to help others.
I so look forward to the next step in discovering where, how and what God intends for me in my life. I have found much hope when realizing that there is no age that is right for my journey to find God and his plan in my life
I actually saw myself in this message and it stirred my spirit. I never really felt complete in my life never knowing what god had for me and what my desires were.
I just posted a comment & shared your page on facebook. Thank you for this outlet for women who want to be closer to God. You are a blessing.
I actually saw myself in this message and it stirred my spirit. I never really felt complete in my life never knowing what god had for me and what my desires were.
I have always had confidence in myself but I found that the confidence I had was in how others saw me & not how I saw myself. I recently born again & am starting to understand how much I don't know. While I struggle in my quest to learn more & know more about God, your blog & others with Proverbs31 help me to find the answers I am seeking. Thank you.
Wow, as I read through the comments I'm amazed at how many women this subject resonates with, including myself. God has been speaking to me over the past several months about my insecurities and being who He has created me to be. Thanks for the reminder. You're a blessing and I know your book will be as well!
I too have struggled with paralyzing self-doubt since I was a teen. I didn't realize until the past few years how that takes its toll on every relationship and every aspect of your life. I have been on a journey to discover who I am as an individual-not wife, mother, daughter, friend, and am so excited to read your book to help me put everything together!
Although I have been one of God's children since I was a little girl, I have spent my whole life being envious of other girl's and now women's looks, personality, and confidence, rather than being secure in who God made me to be. I am a domestic violence survivor and have struggled the past few years with feeling like a failure. I don't have any real passions and I long to discover God's plan for my life. I cannot wait to read your book! Thank you for writing about something many women need help with!
Kim
In the not-too-distant future, I will be an empty nester after spending the majority of my life as a stay-at-home/homeschooling mom. I often wonder what it is that God has for me when that day comes. I wonder, "What do I want to do when I grow up?" I also want to help my 3 daughters discover who it is that God has created them to be. Thank you for your insight.
In the not-too-distant future, I will be an empty nester after spending the majority of my life as a stay-at-home/homeschooling mom. I often wonder what it is that God has for me when that day comes. I wonder, "What do I want to do when I grow up?" I also want to help my 3 daughters discover who it is that God has created them to be. Thank you for your insight.
I clicked on here after reading the P31 devotions this morning and feel like it could have been me in that meeting. I too haven't got an answer when people ask me my dreams for my life. I am over 50 years old with my first child getting married this summer and I have no idea what God wants me do with this life. After reading your devotions, I will start to pray for God to show me who He wants me to be … and not continue living as who others expect me to be. Thanks for your encouragement. I can't wait to read your book.
Thank you! I really needed to hear that today.
Thank you so much for both posts!!! As a mother of five young children, I don't take time to think about those things at all…I'm too busy doing whatever needs done for our family. I appreciate you bringing this important topic to me today. I will be praying about this!
Thank you Renae! This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I'm so thankful for His perfect timing! I can't wait for your book to be out! I really need to read it. I know that God doesn't make junk and I often disappoint others. Even more frequently I think I disappoint myself. I set such high expectations for myself and others. It's not good. Thank you for writing this book.
Blessings,
Kristina
Wow what a timely Word for me today. So many years of thinking I'd missed the boat on my life's purpose and direction.thank you for letting me know it's not too late
My name is Angel. And I am excited about your book. I find me and my friends stuck in the very area of Doubt. We really desire to get out so we can reach the city we live in. So I pray that when reading your book we will be able to walk this out. (Great time to start a bookclub)~From worry to WORSHIP…Amen!