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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Shaping Your Child’s Character

UPDATE: I’m back from TEXAS!!! Wow, what an amazing time we had. I have photos and stories to share as soon as I get come braincells back. If you were there, I’m so glad you joined us. I hope I got to hug your neck or see your smiling face in the crowd!! Wasn’t it a blast? Truly, one of those times that will be forever engraved in my heart! Never in a million years did I imagine I’d have the honor to be part of something so God-sized. I wish all of you could’ve been there with us!!

If you are new to my blog, welcome! We are in the middle of some parenting posts. Today I want to share some practical ways we can learn and live God’s truths with our kids. If you’re just joining us, please read Wednesday’s and Thursday’s post to help this all make sense.

I eventually took down our poster board, which was faded and falling apart after a few years. I had started speaking and had lots of moms asking me to create a chart for the. I wanted it to be more easily accessible – something I could keep on my kitchen table or on the refrigerator, so I designed the Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child character chart in the size of a calendar. We had them professionally printed and are about to go into our third printing this month.

The chart includes 24 character traits. It has four columns for each train. The first column lists the traits as “Golden Attitudes and Actions” with a child-friendly definition for each trait. The second column includes a corresponding “nugget of truth” (Bible verse) for each trait. The third column is called “Bring it to the Surface” and includes three ways we can live out each trait and put it into action. The fourth column lists the “dirt” (sinful traits) that bury the gold within.

Although the concept is geared toward kids between 4-11, the principles can be adapted to live and learn with older kids, too. Having easy access to the information makes it so much more doable for me. And I have to say, God has used it to shape my character and make me more aware of how I can act and thinking like He does.

Here are a few simple steps to get you started (either with the MFG chart or with a list of traits you create yourself):

Discuss the Value of Character
Talk with your children about the importance of character. Explain to them that God is most concerned with who we are on the inside, which is reflected in our character. To get familiar with the different character traits, review one trait along with the definition and verse each day or so for the next month.

Determine to Learn and Live God’s Word
After reviewing the traits, look for ways to live out a golden attitude or action and verse each week. Each character trait includes a definition and a list of ways you can model it in everyday life. When our kids were younger, we put the verses to the tune of a favorite song or made up a jingle of our own. It really helps the kids and us memorize the verse that goes with each trait.

Dig for Pre-existing Nuggets of Gold
Give this new adventure is a positive start. Look for attributes that come naturally for your child. Here are a few examples to help you identify the gold already hidden within:

  • Is your child compassionate — caring about someone who got hurt on the playground?
  • Is your child generous — offering to give a friend one of her toys or part of her snack?
  • Is your child responsible —taking out the trash or making his bed without being asked?

Develop a Reward System
Be sure to praise your children for showing good character. Take time at dinner, in the car and at bedtime to talk about ways you and your children have lived out the traits and verses. Kids live for affirmation.

Don’t Get Overwhelmed
Teaching character doesn’t have to be another to do on your list. God wants it to be an everyday part of your life. But it will take some time and some tools to help you get started. Here’s how I have formatted each trait in the chart.

 

Use Kind Words
Speak with words that honor others.

Nugget of Truth: Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Bring It to the Surface
Say thanks if someone does something for you or gives something to you.
Say please when asking for something.
Tell others what you like about them.

Dirt that Buries the Gold
Sarcasm: Proverbs 4:24
Rudeness: Ephesians 4:29
Bragging: James 4:16

You may want to develop your own list of traits, verses and ideas on index cards, or click on this link to find out more about the“Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child“ chart. It includes everything you’ll need in a simple format to make it easy and fun. And I’ll be giving two sets today, too.

I would love to hear what traits you’d like to start learning and living with your family!

Copyright 2009, Rene Swope – All rights reserved.

 

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

We’re giving away two sets of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child“ CD and chart, two tickets to the D6 Conference and a year’s worth of Family Devotional Magazines from D6.

To be part of these give-aways, click on “comments” below. PLEASE include your email so we can get in touch if you win and I’d love to know where you are from.

Comments

  3. Dear Renee,

    Thank you for all the information & encouragement you are giving to us all. I also thanked God for having you as part of my daily devotional.
    We have 3 wonderful children, the eldest is a girl, 29 yrs old, finished her degree & is getting married this march. The second is a boy, his age is 20. And the youngest is a girl, turning 18.
    Both are still studying in college.

    More power to you & God bless you more!

    Susan

  4. I just came across your blog today and LOVE this parenting advice. I had a day earlier this month where I was at my wits end and I know God lead me to your site.
    My kiddos are 13 (daughter) 9 (daughter) and 3 (son)

    [email protected]

  5. what a great idea. i love reading your blogs and enjoy it each morning. i thought about trying it my sunday school class also.

  6. I just came across your blog today and LOVE this parenting advice. I had a day earlier this month where I was at my wits end and I know God lead me to your site.
    My kiddos are 13 (daughter) 9 (daughter) and 3 (son)

    [email protected]

  7. Hi Renee I am new to your site but have truly enjoyed it and found it refreshing. I homeschool my two kids boy ten y.o. and girl six. Being with them and seeing them learn is a thrill to me and I cannot wait to get your cd and chart!!

    Cio from TX
    [email protected]

  10. P.S. (Hit submit on accident! Sorry!)

    LOVED Girl’s Night Out…thank you so much for taking some time to meet some of us bloggy girls and take pictures afterwards!!

    Your stories of your childhood and your search to overcome it was truly an inspiration to me. I come from a similar background and was very touched at how God has worked in your life. Gives me great encouragement that I will be able to break the ties of bondage holding me to my past by the strength of God’s love.

    Lindsey @ A New Life
    http://www.anewlifehartz.blogspot.com
    [email protected]

  12. What a fantastic giveaway!

    I cannot begin to tell you what a blessing the Houston event was! Can’t wait to hear your take and see your pics!

    Linda
    mochawithlinda at gmail dot com

  14. P.S. (Hit submit on accident! Sorry!)

    LOVED Girl’s Night Out…thank you so much for taking some time to meet some of us bloggy girls and take pictures afterwards!!

    Your stories of your childhood and your search to overcome it was truly an inspiration to me. I come from a similar background and was very touched at how God has worked in your life. Gives me great encouragement that I will be able to break the ties of bondage holding me to my past by the strength of God’s love.

    Lindsey @ A New Life
    http://www.anewlifehartz.blogspot.com
    [email protected]

  18. Wow! What a great idea! I am in Houston and i have just begun reading the proverbs 31 daily devotional and your blogs, and i am shocked. I feel as though i have not been doing my job right up until this point. Now, I know what I’ve been missing. I would love to receive any of these items.

    Thanks for all the info

  20. I have been searching for something just as this! I think I found it! Thank you for your hard work in creating it! If more parents would teach their children these simple, easy to follow character traits, maybe our world could become the kindler, gentler world we are all hoping for. Thank you!
    Dawn
    [email protected]

  22. Wow, God showed me this blog right when I needed it most! My 5yr old son has been talking back lately and I have been starting to feel like a failure as a mother. What a great reminder– Motherhood is not to be done on your own— it is only possible with God. I hope to use these practical ways in our everyday lives. Thank you so much.
    Sarah
    [email protected]
    Sugar Land, TX

  23. Wow! What a great idea! I am in Houston and i have just begun reading the proverbs 31 daily devotional and your blogs, and i am shocked. I feel as though i have not been doing my job right up until this point. Now, I know what I’ve been missing. I would love to receive any of these items.

    Thanks for all the info

  24. Yet more excellent advise! I needed the follow up devotion today. I’m excellent at thinking of ways I’d like to lead my children in their christian walk, but am horrible at putting it into practice and following through. This was just what I needed. I’ve been looking for a chart for my son but have not found the right one until yours. How great to not only teach them traits that build godly character but follow it up with a verse and then finish it with what the devil might use for a stumbling block. It is so great to start this when they are young when it is fun and exciting to learn about God and please Mom and Dad. Thank you so much for sharing you wisdom from God!!!
    Ashlea, Fairview, TN
    [email protected]
    Mom of Colton 4 and Cobe 2

  25. Thank you so much for your ideas and encouragement!! As a relatively new Christian, I am always looking for information and knowledge….I am learning, learning, learning, but still need to be teaching, teaching, teaching!!

  26. I love your ideas and encouragement!! I grew up in a non Christian household, so I really need these kinds of ideas and directions to take when raising our children as Christians. Thank you!

  28. hi Renee!

    I just watched the D6 video this evening! Oh, how I would love to attend! 🙂

    I’m from Saskatchewan, Canada.

    Look forward to reading more of your blog; looks like you have some amazing information to share!

    Bless you!!!

  30. This is the first blog enrty I have read (Wed and Th too) of yours and I love it. I am sending it to other mom friends. I have 4 daughters and would love to implement some of this. I wish I could ‘view’ the chart online. I didn’t see where that was possible.
    🙂

  31. Renee,
    I found your blog from the Proverbs 31 email devotions! Thanks for the giveaways! I hope I win! 😉
    Heather

  33. Thanks for the great ideas!! I love your “teaching Godly attributes” is not a chore to put on your to do list. So many times do I feel like that. THanks again!

    Kristy Baca
    [email protected]

  34. This has been on my heart lately for my two girls, 5 and 3. I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog because of your girls night out! I am writing from the NW corner of our country, Washington.

  38. I was at girls nite out last night and you all touched my heart. It has really given me a new outlook at how to approach life. thank you so much for all the blessing you give everyday!!!!!!!!

  39. I have four kids and something like this would really be great! We need to reinforce kindness to siblings!
    Tesa

  40. Your blog has blessed me so these last 2 weeks and I am FIRED UP about becoming a D6 family! I orderd a “D6 Mom” sticker for my minivan from the website as well as 2 t-shirts. I would dearly love to attend the conference in Sept. Praying for travel mercies for you.

    Kelly
    [email protected]

  41. I think that this just sounds fantastic! My Bible study group is talking about this right now – about how to teach Biblical character traits to our children, and can’t wait to see what you’ve created!

    [email protected]

  42. It just so happens that I have a 4 year old and an 11 year old so they are perfect for your age recommendation! This seems like a terrific way to teach them without being too preachy – fun and practical at the same time. I know my 4 year old responds well to this sort of reward chart and so would her older sister.
    Geralyn
    [email protected]

  43. Renee
    I am in the midst of saying yes God I will obey, I will strive to be like You and think like You and teach my children to do the same. Your blog entries are so helpful to me. I am from BC Canada.
    [email protected]

  44. I saw this as one of your speaking topics previously and have considered purchasing it several times; but finances…would LOVE to win!!

    Thank you for taking the time each day to be a blessing to so many!

    Shanda
    [email protected]

  45. Thanks for sharing your insights into building character in our children.

    gr8tful1 (at) comcast (dot) net

  47. Renee, Thanks for designing such a user friendly tool to develop the traits we moms so often long for in our kids but are at a loss how to achieve. Pure Mommy genius!

    [email protected]

  50. What a great idea and a necessary one.
    With my 2 oldest being 5/4 this is definetly the time in their lives to do these things.
    My question is how to explain these things on at a level they would understand.
    I will def be checking out the chart you have. Something I could definetly use with them.
    And even my 2-1/2 yr old would be interested where he has such a loving heart already.
    And a reward system sounds like a great idea- we try to affirm then when they are kind to one another.

    I strive to be a mom of character so that I can pass this on to my children so that they will want to be more like Jesus.

    Chrissy
    [email protected]