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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Shaping Your Child’s Character

UPDATE: I’m back from TEXAS!!! Wow, what an amazing time we had. I have photos and stories to share as soon as I get come braincells back. If you were there, I’m so glad you joined us. I hope I got to hug your neck or see your smiling face in the crowd!! Wasn’t it a blast? Truly, one of those times that will be forever engraved in my heart! Never in a million years did I imagine I’d have the honor to be part of something so God-sized. I wish all of you could’ve been there with us!!

If you are new to my blog, welcome! We are in the middle of some parenting posts. Today I want to share some practical ways we can learn and live God’s truths with our kids. If you’re just joining us, please read Wednesday’s and Thursday’s post to help this all make sense.

I eventually took down our poster board, which was faded and falling apart after a few years. I had started speaking and had lots of moms asking me to create a chart for the. I wanted it to be more easily accessible – something I could keep on my kitchen table or on the refrigerator, so I designed the Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child character chart in the size of a calendar. We had them professionally printed and are about to go into our third printing this month.

The chart includes 24 character traits. It has four columns for each train. The first column lists the traits as “Golden Attitudes and Actions” with a child-friendly definition for each trait. The second column includes a corresponding “nugget of truth” (Bible verse) for each trait. The third column is called “Bring it to the Surface” and includes three ways we can live out each trait and put it into action. The fourth column lists the “dirt” (sinful traits) that bury the gold within.

Although the concept is geared toward kids between 4-11, the principles can be adapted to live and learn with older kids, too. Having easy access to the information makes it so much more doable for me. And I have to say, God has used it to shape my character and make me more aware of how I can act and thinking like He does.

Here are a few simple steps to get you started (either with the MFG chart or with a list of traits you create yourself):

Discuss the Value of Character
Talk with your children about the importance of character. Explain to them that God is most concerned with who we are on the inside, which is reflected in our character. To get familiar with the different character traits, review one trait along with the definition and verse each day or so for the next month.

Determine to Learn and Live God’s Word
After reviewing the traits, look for ways to live out a golden attitude or action and verse each week. Each character trait includes a definition and a list of ways you can model it in everyday life. When our kids were younger, we put the verses to the tune of a favorite song or made up a jingle of our own. It really helps the kids and us memorize the verse that goes with each trait.

Dig for Pre-existing Nuggets of Gold
Give this new adventure is a positive start. Look for attributes that come naturally for your child. Here are a few examples to help you identify the gold already hidden within:

  • Is your child compassionate — caring about someone who got hurt on the playground?
  • Is your child generous — offering to give a friend one of her toys or part of her snack?
  • Is your child responsible —taking out the trash or making his bed without being asked?

Develop a Reward System
Be sure to praise your children for showing good character. Take time at dinner, in the car and at bedtime to talk about ways you and your children have lived out the traits and verses. Kids live for affirmation.

Don’t Get Overwhelmed
Teaching character doesn’t have to be another to do on your list. God wants it to be an everyday part of your life. But it will take some time and some tools to help you get started. Here’s how I have formatted each trait in the chart.

 

Use Kind Words
Speak with words that honor others.

Nugget of Truth: Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Bring It to the Surface
Say thanks if someone does something for you or gives something to you.
Say please when asking for something.
Tell others what you like about them.

Dirt that Buries the Gold
Sarcasm: Proverbs 4:24
Rudeness: Ephesians 4:29
Bragging: James 4:16

You may want to develop your own list of traits, verses and ideas on index cards, or click on this link to find out more about the“Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child“ chart. It includes everything you’ll need in a simple format to make it easy and fun. And I’ll be giving two sets today, too.

I would love to hear what traits you’d like to start learning and living with your family!

Copyright 2009, Rene Swope – All rights reserved.

 

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

We’re giving away two sets of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child“ CD and chart, two tickets to the D6 Conference and a year’s worth of Family Devotional Magazines from D6.

To be part of these give-aways, click on “comments” below. PLEASE include your email so we can get in touch if you win and I’d love to know where you are from.

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Comments

  1. This is great info! As a mother of twins, I am always searching for ways to incorporate good everyday “habits” in training up wise young people! I just started reading your blog this week and am hooked! This is just what I needed – thank you!

    [email protected]

  2. Hi Renee! Thank you for your posts. I stumbled across your blog today and I am so thanksful that I did. My daughter has been having a difficult year in school. She is good at so many things. She is compassionate and caring but she is focused on the schoolwork that is hard for her and is convinced that she will never understand. This has begun to hurt other subjects and is giving her a false belief of not being able to do anything. It is heartbreaking when our encouragement and belief in her do not seem to have an effect on her thoughts of failing. As I read through many of the January posts, I began to feel hopeful. As if God led me to read these messages. I now see new ways which we can help our little girl. Thank you for all that you do, Renee.
    Christine
    [email protected]

  3. Renee-I just found your site from the Proverbs 31 daily devotional emails. Wow I think the Lord is really speaking to me through you. I have 3 children 4, 3 and 18 months and I work full time. I really try to be a good caring mom to them and teach them about God in a daily way but find it a challenge. I am excited to try and put your Heart of Gold into practice in our home. I know the only way to change a child is through God’s help and by touching the childs heart. however, this is not an easy task. Thanks for your motivation. I look forward to reading more. P.S. I am in Montana.

  5. Compassion and responsibility are 2 traits my kids really need to work on. My oldest who is 8 is so absent minded and at times very lazy. My youngest who is 5 still struggles at school daily with being kind to friends. She still hits and kicks kids alot…It is very frustrating as we dont know where this has come from.

    We have started to use a calendar and allow her to put sticker on it each night if I dont get a call or bad behavior report from school.

    Would love to learn more about applying God’s truths when teaching these traits to kids

    Blessings

    Kim
    [email protected]

  6. Dear Renee,

    My children are very tender and caring, but lately, have had some attitudes less than godly creeping in. I do not want to lose my self control and yell, as my parents did and would love any resource to help build more godly character in all of us. Thank you for even having this give away. What a blessing, especially to us budget challenged moms. Blessings.

  7. Good morning! Last night in Houston was amazing. We are so blessed to be able to attend Girl’s Night Out. My wonderful husband was able to spend quality time with our 3 little ones.

    One quick question: Where did you get your jeans? They fit you great and I need to get some.

    Thanks again for your ministry.

    Mollie Stopher
    [email protected]
    Houston, TX

  8. Good morning! Last night in Houston was amazing. We are so blessed to be able to attend Girl’s Night Out. My wonderful husband was able to spend quality time with our 3 little ones.

    One quick question: Where did you get your jeans? They fit you great and I need to get some.

    Thanks again for your ministry.

    Mollie Stopher
    [email protected]
    Houston, TX

  9. Thanks so much, Renee! Your ideas came at a time that I was so discouraged as a mom. (I have a 5y/o and a 1 y/o). Now, I’m so excited to “mine for gold” in my children’s hearts.
    [email protected]

  10. Hey Friend, I’m waiting in the Philly airport for my next flight. Just needed you to know that I can receive email today, but cannot send anything. So I’ll send the batch out on Sunday night.

    Can’t wait to hear all about Houston – call me when you’re in the car this week and fill me in!

    Been praying for you ~ Rachel
    PS. Also let me know if you still need a D6 from me or not. I can write on the plane ride home.

  11. Renee,
    Thanks so much for breaking it down for us! Your chart sounds great. What a wonderful thing to have posted on the wall, not only for the children but for Mom as well. I often need visual reminders throughout the day to help me as I deal with managing and teaching my children. Look forward to your example!

    [email protected]

  12. I have learned so much from reading your posts. Each time I read a message, I find I have more patience with myself and with my little girl and I am renewed in my enthusiasm to teach her about God.

    Thank you!

    Tecca
    Durham, NC
    [email protected]

  13. Renee,
    Any ideas how I can gear this toward a 2 year old? Sometimes, I wonder if I am trying to push too much on him. I am scared that I will confuse him.

    Thanks,
    Amanda
    [email protected]

  17. I just began reading the Daily Devotionals on Proverbs 31 Ministries this year, and wow they have already helped me as a wife and mom so much! I love your post about character in kids–I want so much to help develop those traits God has already placed in my children. Thanks for giving us some practical tools to try at home!

    [email protected]

  19. Renee,
    Thank you for all the great practical ways to help our children. I am in a bible study now, Sheparding a childs heart. Your ideas are fitting in nicely with my bible study.
    God Bless You and your family.
    Cheryl
    [email protected]