{I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.}
Psalm 119:32
I never thought boundaries could actually give me freedom.
But I’m learning they do.
I’ve recently needed to set some boundaries on my time and my commitments. Not because I wanted to. But because my husband asked me to. He noticed that weary look in my eyes and told me that my heart needed room for down time.
It felt constraining to not just do what I wanted to do – when I wanted to. Yet, it’s been good for me.
His limit-setting encouragement that felt so constraining reminded me of the day we realized our daughter Aster was getting tall enough to reach everything she wasn’t supposed to. The day she discovered she could open the drawer where we keep scissors and safety pins. The day she was determined to touch every dangerous object in there.
That weekend we put child locks on the drawers and cabinets that were now within her reach. Although it seemed like we were taking freedom away from Aster, these new limits actually gave her more freedom to roam around the kitchen safely.
In Psalm 119:32, King David wrote about how he wanted to run in the path of God’s commands because they set his heart free.
Reading his words reminded me that boundary lines show us where it’s safe to go. So, I’m learning to embrace what may feel like limits, because within God’s boundaries my heart can rest… and roam free!
What are some boundaries you sense you need to set? Have you been resisting like me? I’d love to pray for you today and I could surely use some prayers, too. I’m not very good at setting boundaries, especially when it comes to taking care of me.
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I will say some prayers. I am awful at setting boundaries. I need to set boundaries in my relationship. It has gotten really bad, I feel hurt and lost most of the time. I feel lost and alone. I am hurting so much, Please some prayers, I know God is there but I’m not feeling it. How do I feel his presence?
Hello,
Thank you for graciously offering to pray for us in this area. I need to know how to present to my 17-year-old that boundaries will give him freedom because right now, he believes it takes away his freedom. I’m finding it very difficult to explain to him why he shouldn’t watch certain things, play certain video games, listen to certain music, etc. Can you offer any ideas on how to do this?
Thank you for this message. My husband isn’t with us right now, so I can’t leave him a ‘post it’. However, I have been asking God to help me forgive him of all the wounds/hurts he has caused over our 11 years of marriage.
I am very good at doing what I can for others and trying to be there for others. But I don’t take care of me very well. I don’t take time for me cause I am doing something for someone else. So I need to manage my time better, and learn that it is okay to use that two letter word “no” sometimes… I will be praying for you, it is great your husband saw that you needed to set boundries.
Thank you for your prayers in return..
Its so funny that I’m just reading this. I was just talking to my husband about having a “bottom line” “boundary setting”. I am 24 with 2 kids and my dad has went to jail again this is probably his 5th time in the last couple years. The last time he got out I told him if he goes back in I will NOT be visiting him, because it effects my own family negatively. But recently I had a dream that my father died of a heart attack and I was crying uncontrollably for days on end in my dream, because I had not visited or even wrote my dad and I felt so horrible. So I have been anxios and feeling bad about not going to visit him thinking now, what if something does happen and I havent even seen him one last time? I need prayer PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I’m lost on what to do. But i watch intervention all the time and they always say you need to have your “bottom line” and keep that bottom line. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
thank you for your message, I needed to hear that. As I prayed for you, I was thankful that you have a blessed husband as AJ to know what you need and to lovingly suggest your boundaries. that is awesome!
If you get any more prayer time would you pray that I would know how to say no better. I am a servent and I love to serve and help people. that is where I receive my blessings. but sometimes….I help others more than I do myself and I suffer from that decision.
Yes, I had to pray hard for two kinds of boundaries one was overstepping someone else boundaries but thankfully they forgave me and are praying for me. In addition, I had to pray for 2 different Bible Studies that I would like to join but God is calling me by the word of discernment for the next one. I almost said no but the word discernment just keeps creeping up and it’s the heartfelt. In addition, I was baptized as an infant being Catholic but have changed churches for God was leading me there and now as an adult I want to make that choice. I have been fighting this for about a year so the time is here. However, I am nervous due to my parents before they were married my mom was a nun and my dad was a priest. However, God has called me a different way. I know they gave me their blessing and they have see the change in me too..So, I need help in this area in boundaries finally seeing it and working on it and it is improving…of course with God’s help.
Just wanted to share that about a week an 1/2 ago. I made the decision to be Baptized again. I know my parents didn’t come due to another road they took. However, it is the best decision I have ever made and the Holy Spirit is opening my eyes to many areas of my life but I’m working on one at a time. I know some may not agree with this statement but I know in my heart God lead me to this decision.
The Father has been speaking to me about knowing when to speak/share and when to be quiet and not share because everything he whispers in my ears/my heart is not for everyone; some of the nuggets he drops in my spirit are especially for me ALONE!!!. This is HARD for me because whenever He speaks to me I just want to go tell everybody. I will definitely pray for you and I hope you will pray for me. Thanks
God knows our hearts and minds. i will pray that God will help us see that boundaries can really be good for us, although it is so hard to set them. God bless all of us today. Thank you Renee!
Confirmed loud and clear…… thank you…..it is time for me too..Heavenly Father is so Great!!!!
Hi Renee,
Thank you for your post and providing us with a forum to explore the topic of boundaries. I can relate to your situation and to many of the other posts as well.
For me, the scariest part of setting boundaries is fear of loss. It could be loss of a person’s love or affection, loss of my reputation at work, or even loss of a job or relationship depending on how strongly one toes the line. In my mind, boundaries always feel so black and white.
However, I believe I am learning that there can be a gracious way to set boundaries that in the end ends up blessing everyone. (Although I certainly appreciate that this is not the case in every situation.) That through prayer, patience, ongoing communication, tolerating awkwardness and mis-steps, and learning how to speak the truth in LOVE, there can be ways to negotiate healthy boundaries that benefit both sides and help us to grow. But this is definitely still a training ground for me!
Renee, one thing I love about your posts is that they are always so timely that I know it’s the Holy Spirit speaking to me / cheering me on! Like many of the other women, God has been bringing up the issues of boundaries to me loudly and clearly of late. I will certainly pray for you and the other women who have shared their struggles and growing pains in this area. Thank you for praying for my spiritual growth as well. Confident Heart has certainly been an important part of it.
Warmly,
Grace
Hello Renee,
Loved the photo of you and Aster that posted recently. Will be praying that setting boundaries will happen for you step by step prayers by prayer, and pray you see God presence with you all the way.
I’m a single mom who’s oldest daughter has autism. For many of her 37 yrs I was married to a man who said he loved the Lord, but after 26 yrs he decided that and marriage to me were not to be. God brought me through that and some other interesting adventures over the years. and i am thankful to have such a perfect Father in him.
I too have begun to set boundaires, besides my daughter who actually has taught me more than i will ever teach her, i care for my grandsons. so my time gets full fast. i found myself reacting rather than acting so between your book A Confident Heart & Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst, you girls have so encouraged this grandma to hang in there with my Lord.
Lord, help your daughters to place themselves in your arms first and guide us as we set boundaries to be free in You! Amen!
This is just what I needed today! Thank you so much for sharing. I have just started a new job and I feel so overwhelmed! I am trying to learn so much in a busy office and I don’t want to fail. When I get too stressed I also cannot hear from God. My mind feels to cluttered and full of other things to hear Him. I pray that I will do only what I can and communicate effectively when asking for help. I pray that I will be able to learn and not feel like I should know everything immediately. I pray for the other ladies that we would all find our perfect balance by putting God first.
Thank you so much for you message today. You are an answer to a prayer I have been praying for. I know this may sound funny to you but I need prayer on how to set discipline on my TV time and concentrate on my reading time. I have so many wonderful Christian books that would help me so much but I’ve never liked to read and it’s gotten worse through the years. My mom worked when we were home at night and slept while we were at school. Dad never got passed the 5th grade so school didn’t mean much to him and my mom moved around so much that each year she had to start a new school and that didn’t mean she would finish the year in that school. TV has just been a thing for me. It was there when things were tough. I could imagine I lived in one of those homes with loving,, caring people who where happy together. My older sister loved to read. She would check whole shelves out at a time. That was her escape. Anyway getting bac to my prayer request. Please pray with me that I would find joy and love and devote my time to reading these great books especially the Bible. I even have the TV on at night because I don’t want to be by myself. Thanks so much. Your friend. Sharon