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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

More Encouragement for Moms

Philippians 4:9, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.”

I would love to know the age of your kids. (Please post a comment to let us know). My oldest turns fourteen in May and my youngest just turned eleven. I have noticed that passing my faith to my children seemed so much easier when they were younger. They were like little sponges, usually eager to learn Bible verses and other things I tried to teach them. Well, not so much anymore. Now I’m the sponge who is listening to all the wisdom I can get from other Christ-loving parents who have special insights into the hearts of teens. One thing I am learning is that it’s not so much what I say, but how I live that influences their faith most. Today, Suzie Eller is back to pick up from where we left off yesterday. She surveyed hundreds of teens for her book, “Real Issues, Real Teens: What Every Parents Needs to Know, ” and this week she’s telling us what they said about how parents can hinder or help their faith. Here is what she wrote:

Your teen will hear a thousand messages about faith in their lifetime, most of them from people who don’t believe. So what we show our children about faith becomes even more vital.

But what are we teaching them? I talked with hundreds of teens and they said there are four things that parents do that can make faith difficult to comprehend. Yesterday, I shared two common mistakes, and today I have two more:

Mistake #3—Hypocrisy

Christianity is not an easy choice for teens. What does your teen see in you that will help him make that choice? Hypocrisy is imposing double standards. You have to do this, but it’s okay for me. It’s putting on a church face, but having a different face at home. This was the number one reason that teens said they turned away from faith. Their view of God was complex. What is real? What is not?

 

Mistake #4—Fail to Support Them In Their Faith A few years ago a teen stood outside the church. She had been gone for several weeks and had not responded to phone calls. She put my hand on her stomach. Pregnant! I wanted to cry. Several weeks earlier we had a powerful youth service. It went longer than usual. Parents waited outside while the teens prayed. I watched this teen. She was on the outskirts, but I could see the longing. As she walked toward the altar, her parent burst through the door and took her by the arm. She was angry because she had to wait in the car.It was inconvenient. She did have to wait too long. But I wonder what the teen lost that night.
If you deliver your teen to a youth event or have been asked to pull out one more dollar for a youth activity, you are investing in your teen’s spiritual life. Right now, there are parents who are on their knees crying out to God for their unsaved teens. If your teen is running toward God, take a moment and thank God—and then run with him.
T. Suzanne (Suzie) Eller is a Proverbs 31 speaker, youth culture and parenting columnist, and author of books including Real Issues, Real Teens: What Every Parents Needs to Know. Visit Susie’s blog or Suzie’s blog for teens.
Thank you so much Suzie for sharing your wisdom with us. I can’t wait to read your book! If any of you have questions or thoughts for Suzie, please post them in a comment below or stop by her blog today.  Tomorrow I’ll be traveling with my girlfriends to Texas for our Girls Night/Day Out with KSBJ on Thursday. I would treasure your prayers for safe travel and for everything leading up to the event, and for me to not be nervous but completely consumed by God’s grace and overflowing with HIM! Before I leave, I’ll be sharing my story of learning how to pass on my faith to my kids when they were younger. Although I said it was easier when they were younger, I didn’t mean it was easy. But there was a day in March 1999 that God gave me a whole new perspective and sense of purpose as a mom. It changed my life and our family as God showed us how to make Him part of our everyday lives.See ya tomorrow! Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

D6is giving away one of the conference speakers’ resources – Angela Thomas’ best-seller “My Single Mom Life”. (A great book for all moms, single or married. From overcoming mommy guilt, loneliness, setting healthy boundaries to living the amazing life God has for you and your kids, Angela covers it all. I am reading it and loving it!)

To be part of these give-aways, click on “comments” below. PLEASE include your email so we can get in touch if you win and I’d love to know your kids ages and your city/state or country. PS. Be sure to sign up soon for the D6Conference! Early registration ends February 2nd.

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Comments

  2. Renee, God has blessed me with two sons. They are almost 6 and almost 4. I appreciate the insight today…especially the story of the mother who was waiting and decided not to wait a minute longer. May we all be patient with what God is doing in the lives of our children. My little men teach me so much about the incredible growth still needed in me…Praise God for them.

    Praying for your flight and time in Houston. May God be glorifed and you and Lysa have a few laughs along the way 🙂

    Caroline
    [email protected]

  3. Great advice and information again today. Will be praying for the event this weekend!

    My son’s are at both ends of the spectrum, one 27 (and a Dad himself), the other 4 (and a big challenge in my life, but also a HUGE blessing!).

    [email protected]

  4. you are so right…as they get older they have to find their own way. you just have to believe that you have them on the right path.

    2 daughters 22 & 18

    Kim, SW Ohio

  8. Thanks for the helpful words. My daughters are almost 13 and almost 9 (and as you know the ‘almost’ is important) and my son is 6. My oldest has not expressed faith in Christ and has lots of questions. I believe that parenting is our most important mission work. Thanks for the encouragement.

    Amy
    [email protected]

  9. Hi Renee,

    I have been "out of the loop" with life issues. I haven't read through all of your posts on D6 but what I have read has excited me. I have 3 sons ages 19, 16, & 14…yes pray for me 🙂

    Christlike example is HUGE at these ages. They will talk about leaders in the church that "turn them off" and it is because of how they act outside of church…not the same as on a Sunday morning. They are watching our every move! oooohhh the pressure.

    We are especially struggling with the "too old for youth group" age…our oldest commutes to school so he is sometimes the only one in his Sunday School class on a sunday morning…I am thankful for faithful teachers who he is connected to. It seems that is such a crucial time for christian connections and he just isn't not experiencing them right now. New life stages bring new challenges.

    This books sounds GREAT!

    blessings,
    kim

  10. Great wisdom shared today!

    I have a 15-year-old boy and a 13-year-old girl. We live in Central Texas.

  11. They are ALWAYS watching, aren’t they? My daughter repeats and mimics everything she sees. I often watch her do something and know that it came from me, and sometimes I have to cringe – I didn’t realize that I used that particular tone or sounded that, and I remember that these forgotten moments for me are teaching her big things.

    My daugher is almost 4 and my son is 1 1/2. We’re in Roxboro, NC.

    [email protected]

  14. My kids see me doing Bible studies all the time and reading the Bible, but do they see me living the Bible?
    son -13
    daughter 4.5

  16. I have two daughters; ages 6 and 10 1/2.

    We live just outside of Indianapolis, Indiana.

  17. Wow. I wish these things had been around when I was a teenager. I’m the 3rd of 4 girls who grew up in church, but I really really struggled through high school and college. My daughter is now almost 7 and my son is 4. I hope to see their faith become their own and for them to grow into a great man and woman of God!

  18. I’ll pray for your safe travel and know that you’ll be wonderful up on stage. I wish I wasn’t so darn far away in Idaho, oh well. Someday I’ll have to plan a trip out for one of these great conferences. Thanks for the post.
    I have an 18 year old son, Nathan and a 9 year old son Logan.

    [email protected]

  19. What great insights! The book sounds amazing. My girls are 8 and 5 and I am anxious to read your post tomorrow too. I get up each day with the intent that “today will be the day” that I start sharing my faith more with my girls and doing devotions or something. But then night falls and I have failed once again to start.

    I can see the point about our actions not matching our words really applying at all ages.

    Safe travels tomorrow and have a wonderful conference

    Blessings

    Kim
    [email protected]