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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child

Yesterday, I shared my story of becoming a gold-mining mom. You might want to scroll down to read the first part, then come back for the rest of the story. It will will make much more sense if you start with the beginning.

The next day, Joshua and I created a character charton poster board. We made cards to attach that included a character trait and Bible verse and clip art Joshua selected to illustrate the actions and attitudes. We made gold nuggets by balling up foil and spray-painting them gold. That afternoon I showed J.J. our new invention. He liked the idea and agreed to join the adventure.

We decided to focus on a different trait each week while looking for ways to live them in our everyday lives. At dinner or bedtime we’d talk about ways we shared, showed patience, persevered, etc. We incorporated that week’s verse in prayers for our family and others. When we saw Joshua displaying one of the golden actions or attitudes we gave him a gold nugget. We also set up a system so he could save and redeem the nuggets for special treats or family activities. This became our way of encouraging him for showing good character. It also helped him learn delayed gratification; the perfect fix for those “I want one of everything” days.

As we read Bible stories with our boys, I started looking for examples of people who showed good or bad character. The new perspective God had given me for parenting started shaping my prayers as I asked God to mold our children’s character and our own to look more like His.

Although I was the one who initiated this new idea, my husband, J.J., caught on quickly and even started making up games to teach the kids traits we were learning each week. One day he tied a blanket around Joshua’s waist and put M&M’s in a cup on the other end of the room. He told Joshua to pull against the opposing force of dad holding the ends of the blanket to get to the cup.

While Joshua pulled, J.J. shouted discouraging comments like, “You might as well give up. You are never going to get to the other side. It’s just not worth it to work so hard.” He also had Andrew, our youngest son, cheer Joshua on with encouraging statements like, “You can do it. Just keep your eyes on the M&M’s. Don’t give up!” Finally J.J. allowed Joshua to get to the cup. While they ate M&M’s together, J.J. talked with Joshua and Andrew about the rewards of not giving up even when things are really hard and the power of encouragement to help someone persevere.

Isn’t it just like God to take a mom’s mess and give her a message that she needed – and one she could eventually share with others. I pray that it is giving you hope. You see, our home changed the week I was ready to give up! And it has never been the same. With new perspective in our parenting, my husband and I have become a gold-mining mom and dad. It’s been almost 10 years since then, and we are still looking for new character traits to learn and we ways to live out God’s Word in our everyday lives. It has taken our kids beyond the basics of Bible stories and made following God’s commands more of an adventure rather than a set of rules and regulations. The golden nuggets have become tangible blessings and reminders of God’s promise to reward us for following Him.

Although the world tell us to seek the treasures of big houses, new cars, skinny bodies and expensive vacations. God tells us to mine for gold in our own backyard by investing our lives in shaping the hearts of our children. The Bible says children are an inheritance and parenting is a high calliing. Today’s kids are tomorrow’s leaders – for our communities, our churches, our schools, and our nation. Shaping their character is the most worthy investment we can make.

But it won’t happen just because we think it’s important. It will only happen if we take time to show them what it looks like and coach them through circumstances where they can choose character over convenience. Like any learned skill, character has to move from the head to the heart and then be practiced in everyday life.

After several years of shaping our children’s character with God’s Treasure Box of Truths, mining for gold in the heart of our children has become a reality, and we are richer for it.Bringing out God’s best in them has gone beyond gold nuggets to the reality that we are accomplishing in our kids what God wants to accomplish in us. He wants all of His children to have a heart like His. The good in each of us is because we are created in His image. The gold we find in the hearts of our children is that which reflects the heart of God and the golden truths of His Word.

As I shared yesterday, the day I almost quit being a mom was actually the day I started becoming the mom I wanted to be and the mom God created me to be – a mom with a heart like HIS.

Tomorrow, I’ve got some very practical steps to share to help you get started. See you then!

Copyright 2009, Rene Swope – All rights reserved.

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD, a D6 Mom Tshirt and a year’s worth of Family Devotional Magazines from D6. We’re giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!

To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post and PLEASEinclude your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!

Comments

  1. Hi Renee, I am a newly divorced mother of 2 teenage boys. Reading your encouraging words is a blessing – I wonder how I make it through after a long day at work with kid’s who are not motivated to do well in school. It’s difficult to be upbeat and supportive to them in these circumstances. I am learning to let go and let God, but it is very trying some days.

  2. Thanks for the wisdom and creative ideas! My son is 17 months. I want to be intentional about building in to him. Sometimes it’s hard to be creative and intentional! Thanks for the help!

    Sheila in Columbus, OH
    [email protected]

  3. Hi Renee,
    Thank you so much for your post yesterday and today. I can’t wait to see tomorrows. I have 2 girls, 6 and 4 and it has been a tough week. Your “pink slip” story reminded me of the time my oldest was 2 and was telling me if I didn’t get into the room right now, she was going to fire me. My reply was “you can’t fire me, I quit”.
    Thanks for sharing with us.

  6. What an awesome responsibility we have as moms. I’m beginning to understand how vital my role is in shaping my son’s character. It’s almost overwhelming me at the thought. I feel unqualified! Your posts this month have been so encouraging and have really reached me. I can’t wait to read your suggestions tomorrow on how to start!

    Lisa V in NJ
    [email protected]

  7. Thanks once again for the encouragement to keep on keeping on! Being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had, but it’s also the most rewarding one…most days anyway 🙂 With God’s help, all things are possible! I need to remember that and realize I can’t do it ALONE. and ASK for His help. He knows what we need before we do and He’s always ready and waiting!

    Have a blessed day!

    Debbie in CO
    [email protected]

  9. I’m so excited. After reading yesterday, I am really moved to begin something like this with our 3 year old son. He’s been learning some different (read: poor) behaviors in preschool that are SO outside his gentle character, and it’s not too early to put in place teaching opportunities to build character instead of just disciplining him for wrong choices. He will TOTALLY get into this, and I’m excited to pull my husband into the loop. He has the coolest ideas all the time, and we’ve both been fighting major discouragement about our parenting and the struggles we’re facing. I thank the Lord for speaking through you!

    Joy
    [email protected]

  13. I can’t wait to read what ideas you have tomorrow. The things that you have already shared are great. My son is 9 and I’m looking for ways everyday to incorporate such things in his life. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

    [email protected]

  14. I “stumbled” across your blog yesterday through a link in your P31 devotional…and I am sure it was the purposeful leading of God that brought me here. I am desperately in need of the wisdom God has given you to share and will be getting your chart and CD whether I win it or not! 🙂 (but of course winning it would be so much more fun!)

    Thank you SO very much for sharing what God has given you. Please pray for MY family – that I will have the strength and discipline to be intentional about mining for gold in my children’s hearts.

    [email protected]

  15. Renee, Thank you so much for your last two posts; can’t wait to see tomorrows. Parenting a strong willed child can be tough! But I do see the sparkle of the gold beneath all the sass and attitude – just have to do some more digging. I’m headed to get the aluminum foil and spray paint right now 🙂

    Praying God’s power and blessings all over you women in Houston today. May hearts be touched and lives changed!

    [email protected]

  17. Thank you for inspiring us to be the mom that God intends for us to be. I cannot wait to read tomorrow’s post.

  18. With a 13, 11, and 2 year old I feel like handing in my pink slip almost every day. I really needed to read this and let it sink in! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

    Stephanie
    [email protected]

  19. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Being that mom God has called me to be is what He is really working on with me right now. Being slow to anger, quick to listen…I enjoy the practical and encouraging advice from your ministry and as i get encouraged it makes me want to encourage other moms!
    Erica
    [email protected]

  20. Hi Renee,
    I am a brand new reader and your post on “the pink slip” came at the most perfect time-thank you Lord!! I read it on Crosswalk/Encouragment for Today and then hopped over to your blog from there. It is hard to explain how much I needed to hear what you had to say. The Lord used you in a mighty way to speak to the heart of a small-town girl in the middle of Iowa. Thank you for sharing your heart and the power of God in your “mommy life”. I’ve added you to my favorites and I can’t wait to hear what you have to share next! Thank you!!
    His,
    Tami in IA
    [email protected]

  22. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Some days I want to turn in my pinkslip too! But who could do this but me. Motherhood is the greatest challenge put before us as children of God. We are loaned these tiny bundles to mold into His likeness. To prepare them to do great things and small things in His name. To live lives of integrity. And, one day send them out into the world. Something only God could equip me to do daily.
    I want to praise the God of restoration who blesses us with a new morning after a dark night.

    Michelle, mom to a 6 year old boy and 2 year old girl.
    [email protected]

  23. Renee,
    Thank You so much for your obedience to write the things you write right when you are to write them. I believe your post to be an answer to my prayer!! I am a homeschooling mom who has become weary with my own inabailities and I cried out to God to show me and encourage my heart today and here it is, through your words!
    Again Thank You!
    [email protected]

  24. Thanks so much for your encouraging words. Only yesterday I told my husband that this parenting thing sure wasn’t getting any easier and I didn’t think that I was getting any better at it. I have a 10 yr old daughter, an 8 year old daughter and a 5 yr old son. I am thankful for each new day to try and make things better.
    Erin in Illinois
    [email protected]

  25. Hi Renee!

    What a wonderful story love the “golden nugget” theory. I very much look forward to tomorrows practical ideas. I am not one who is good at sharing faith. Am a strong believer but not good with communicating it. Your stories are helping show me every day situations in which we can share faith with our kids. I just feel so “fake” doing it. Guess I need to pray to God more for help in this area

    Blessings

    Kim
    [email protected]

  26. Hi Renee,
    You have me hooked! I will be back tomorrow to learn more!

    I seem to be paralyzed in my spiritual life, unable to do anything for fear of failure. I fear making a chart for my children like you did for fear that it will fall by the wayside like every other chart I have made. I fear journaling because every time I start, it lasts about 3 days.

    I need to get to the point of turning in my pink slip so God will whisper His promises to me like He did for you.

    Thank you for sharing!
    Pam
    [email protected]

  28. I can’t wait to get started! I’ve always wanted to teach my children the traits of God but relying on my example just was not working. Wonder why??? I’m headed to walmart to get some posterboard! I know I can be the mom I’ve always wanted to be. Thanks Renee for obeying God’s calling in your life so He could bless me (and others!) through it!

    Heather
    [email protected]

  29. Oh you do have a heart like His my friend. It's that heart that drew me to you. I receive more of Him, when I'm with you. Thank you for letting your heart overflow on me.

    The example of the blanket and the M&M's was powerful! Sometimes I feel like the evil one has that blanket around my waist, and it's so easy to give up, but I won't find comfort under that covering. Need to keep persevering for that cup, not of M&M's, but Living Water.

    Praying for you even now, and on my knees at 11:30 for your event this morning. Can't wait to hear how God answers.

    Love, prayers and hugs,
    Joy

  33. I love both of these posts – these concrete examples of how you’re using God’s truths to teach your children inspire me to do the same. Thank you! BTW, my kids ages are 5 and 7.

    Kim
    (I’m not leaving my email b/c I’ve already won something!)

  34. Thank you Renee for sharing from your heart again. I discovered your blog about two weeks ago and I have already gleaned so much from it. Have a blessed day!

    Donna in AR
    [email protected]

  35. I am so excited to try the “chart”… probably more for me than for my kids right now. I feel so many days when I forget all those traits and then expect my children to just know them when I’m not being that great of an example. It’s great to hear practical advice… especially from a mom that has “been there, done that”.
    Jessica in Lancaster, PA
    [email protected]

  36. HI Renee, Just meeting you! I was given yesterday’s Proverb 31 devotion from a friend and decided to read more. Thanks for the encouragement and ideas. God bless. Audrey in MS
    [email protected]

  37. Those are awesome ideas. I hope I can implement them in my house. I so often see the dirt on my child rather than the gold inside.

    Have a blast today in Houston. I wish I could be there with you all!

    Wendi, College Station
    [email protected]

  41. Hi Renee,
    It’s neat how you were inspired to come up with a practical method of developing character traits in your children. Thanks for sharing your experience of feeling so low as a mother and of how your perspective and actions were transformed by Jesus.
    [email protected]

  43. Hi Renee,
    I am blessed with what you’ve shared. I have two kids a boy and a girl. Actually at this point I am really praying how i will raise my children to be a godly one.You’re right when you said that only God can help us to be a mother that He wants us to be. Thanks so much for the tips and ideas!!!

  45. Thank you for the encouragement….I think I am in the midst of those “pink slip days” every other day! Praises to my Lord that has made me aware of the two blessings I have and continually calms my heart for them!

  46. Hi Renee, I couldn’t wiat for more after yesterday…this tired mama is always so thankful for practical tips and ideas…thanks so much!
    Jennifer in Grand Rapids, MI
    [email protected]

  48. Renee,
    Thank You so much for your obedience to write the things you write right when you are to write them. I believe your post to be an answer to my prayer!! I am a homeschooling mom who has become weary with my own inabailities and I cried out to God to show me and encourage my heart today and here it is, through your words!
    Again Thank You!
    [email protected]

  50. I am so excited to try the “chart”… probably more for me than for my kids right now. I feel so many days when I forget all those traits and then expect my children to just know them when I’m not being that great of an example. It’s great to hear practical advice… especially from a mom that has “been there, done that”.
    Jessica in Lancaster, PA
    [email protected]