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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child

Yesterday, I shared my story of becoming a gold-mining mom. You might want to scroll down to read the first part, then come back for the rest of the story. It will will make much more sense if you start with the beginning.

The next day, Joshua and I created a character charton poster board. We made cards to attach that included a character trait and Bible verse and clip art Joshua selected to illustrate the actions and attitudes. We made gold nuggets by balling up foil and spray-painting them gold. That afternoon I showed J.J. our new invention. He liked the idea and agreed to join the adventure.

We decided to focus on a different trait each week while looking for ways to live them in our everyday lives. At dinner or bedtime we’d talk about ways we shared, showed patience, persevered, etc. We incorporated that week’s verse in prayers for our family and others. When we saw Joshua displaying one of the golden actions or attitudes we gave him a gold nugget. We also set up a system so he could save and redeem the nuggets for special treats or family activities. This became our way of encouraging him for showing good character. It also helped him learn delayed gratification; the perfect fix for those “I want one of everything” days.

As we read Bible stories with our boys, I started looking for examples of people who showed good or bad character. The new perspective God had given me for parenting started shaping my prayers as I asked God to mold our children’s character and our own to look more like His.

Although I was the one who initiated this new idea, my husband, J.J., caught on quickly and even started making up games to teach the kids traits we were learning each week. One day he tied a blanket around Joshua’s waist and put M&M’s in a cup on the other end of the room. He told Joshua to pull against the opposing force of dad holding the ends of the blanket to get to the cup.

While Joshua pulled, J.J. shouted discouraging comments like, “You might as well give up. You are never going to get to the other side. It’s just not worth it to work so hard.” He also had Andrew, our youngest son, cheer Joshua on with encouraging statements like, “You can do it. Just keep your eyes on the M&M’s. Don’t give up!” Finally J.J. allowed Joshua to get to the cup. While they ate M&M’s together, J.J. talked with Joshua and Andrew about the rewards of not giving up even when things are really hard and the power of encouragement to help someone persevere.

Isn’t it just like God to take a mom’s mess and give her a message that she needed – and one she could eventually share with others. I pray that it is giving you hope. You see, our home changed the week I was ready to give up! And it has never been the same. With new perspective in our parenting, my husband and I have become a gold-mining mom and dad. It’s been almost 10 years since then, and we are still looking for new character traits to learn and we ways to live out God’s Word in our everyday lives. It has taken our kids beyond the basics of Bible stories and made following God’s commands more of an adventure rather than a set of rules and regulations. The golden nuggets have become tangible blessings and reminders of God’s promise to reward us for following Him.

Although the world tell us to seek the treasures of big houses, new cars, skinny bodies and expensive vacations. God tells us to mine for gold in our own backyard by investing our lives in shaping the hearts of our children. The Bible says children are an inheritance and parenting is a high calliing. Today’s kids are tomorrow’s leaders – for our communities, our churches, our schools, and our nation. Shaping their character is the most worthy investment we can make.

But it won’t happen just because we think it’s important. It will only happen if we take time to show them what it looks like and coach them through circumstances where they can choose character over convenience. Like any learned skill, character has to move from the head to the heart and then be practiced in everyday life.

After several years of shaping our children’s character with God’s Treasure Box of Truths, mining for gold in the heart of our children has become a reality, and we are richer for it.Bringing out God’s best in them has gone beyond gold nuggets to the reality that we are accomplishing in our kids what God wants to accomplish in us. He wants all of His children to have a heart like His. The good in each of us is because we are created in His image. The gold we find in the hearts of our children is that which reflects the heart of God and the golden truths of His Word.

As I shared yesterday, the day I almost quit being a mom was actually the day I started becoming the mom I wanted to be and the mom God created me to be – a mom with a heart like HIS.

Tomorrow, I’ve got some very practical steps to share to help you get started. See you then!

Copyright 2009, Rene Swope – All rights reserved.

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD, a D6 Mom Tshirt and a year’s worth of Family Devotional Magazines from D6. We’re giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!

To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post and PLEASEinclude your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!

Comments

  2. I so want to have this chart to use with my own children! However, when I go to the link, it is no longer available. Can you put a different link on here to be able to obtain the chart or can you tell me where I can buy the chart? Thanks! Your book “A Confident Heart” has changed my life! Thank you for allowing God to use you and your story to reach failures like me to make my heart renewed in Christ!

  3. Does anyone know if “Mining for Gold in the Heart of your Child Character Chart” is still being published and, if so, where I can purchase copies?

  4. Does anyone know if “Mining for Gold in the Heart of your Child Character Chart” is still being published and, if so, where I can purchase copies?

  5. Does anyone know if “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Character Chart” is still being published and, if so, where I can purchase it?

  6. Is the MINING FOR GOLD IN YOUR CHILDREN Chart still available? The link does not lead me to it!

    • I have found the same as you: the link does not go to the chart. Frustrating. Have you found it yet?

  7. I purchased the CD, “The Purpose Driven Mom” right on time. This last week my kids (2 & 4) have been driving me crazy with temper tantrums, wanting, disrespect and just basically out of control. Then I’ve lost my control… my temper flared and I yelled, threatened and colasped in exasperation. Before this week I couldn’t really relate to wanting to hand a “pink slip” to my husband but I’ve been tempted this week… and I have girls so I do have pink construction paper 🙂 Thanks Renee for your insight and for passing it on. [email protected]

  8. A friend just told me about Mining for Gold and a search on it led me to your site. I really think God is leading my family to do this with out little boys! Thank you for your site!

    ashleigh in Texas
    [email protected]

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  19. Continue on! your words of encouragement and ideas will be helpful for other mothers who feel like giving up. Thank you for giving GOD all the glory and having the wisdom to carry out his perfect works.

    [email protected]

  21. Thank you Renee, for being open, I’m the mother of eight all grown noe but one. They range from 30 to 13. It wasn’t until number 5 that I even started to know what being a mom was. Lots of triles and mistakes and I’m sorrys but I learned that our Children are truly the greatest gifts God could have ever gave to us straight from Him.I can’t wait to read tomarrows. Thanks for the encouragement you share with all. Blessings, Teri

  22. Thanks for being such a great source of encouragment. I love this idea and am constantly looking for new ideas to bring scripture to my children. We will definetely be doing the m&m lesson!!

    Thanks again
    Kristy Baca
    [email protected]

  24. Thank you so much for the devotion yesterday and today. I needed it more than you know. I recently started working and feel that the mom I want to be is slipping through my grasp. I love the whole attititude and perspective of gold mining our children. I have always thought my children had wonderful qualities but never quite thought of it in this way. I love how you not only had this wonder new way of looking at your children but put it into action with the gold nuggets. I would love to receive the gold mining chart.

    Ashlea in Nashville, Tn
    [email protected]

  26. Renee–

    It was so much fun to meet you today!!! I love that now we’ve seen each other face to face and as I read your blog I can continue to see your sweet face. You ladies rock! Thanks for so bravely sharing your soul and your story.

    I have sort of been doing this with my kids but I l.o.v.e. the idea of the nuggets…I think the rewards will begin flowing here in our home. What a great way to get our kids to purposely begin thinking of ways to exercise the character traits that we want to see acted out and developed in their hearts and lives.

    I hope we can have more time to visit next time! I loved meeting you today. I am praying for Houston tonight.

    May He fill you as you travel,
    Lisa

  27. SO appreciate your words….I have 2 teenagers and parenting still seems hard. Thank you though for the reminder to encourage my kids in all things. They need my support and love no matter what age they are. Thank you also for reminding me to keep my eyes on the Goal.

    Bonnelle
    [email protected]

  29. I am glad that you shared more of this story and I rejoice at the Happy Ending of it all. My favorite line that you wrote was “The Bible says children are an inheritance and parenting is a high calling” Realizing those two principles would be a great foundation.

    nazyouth4god (at) hotmail (dot) com

  31. Ranee,
    Thank you for this post of given out a pink slip. Even though i wanted to do the same thing, mine did not involve children, it was all of the other things in life.

    annie
    [email protected]

  34. Renee,
    What an awesome encouragement you have been. I was in tears after reading your story for today. I have a 18 year old and I get all advise from bible studies, etc. but I really need to look for the gold in my son. It has been so hard with the attitude and the hurtful things they can say and do as they don’t think at that age. I have sacrificed many years to be a stay at home mom, sending him to Christian school, then homeschooling him for 8 years, then putting him in school last year in 11th grade. He is a senoir this year and WOW, it it hard to raise teenagers today! I thought I had life under control until he hit 16, then I asked God why he didn’t send me a manual for teenagers! Thanks for helping me to look for the gold in him!
    [email protected]

  35. My best friend emailed me w/her 1/21/09 daily devotion "Knowing Where To Start". I had my "I Quit" day on Thurs 1/15/09. My 6 year old had sent me over the edge & I broke down crying. He definitely heard me crying out. The phone rang shortly after & it was my best friend. She always makes me feel better. Thank the Lord for her, you and your very uplifting & helpful message.
    God Bless,
    Kasey Keough
    [email protected]

  36. Wow…these last two posts have been so powerful for me! Thank you so very much for sharing your insights, wisdom & breakthroughs. I have three young children, ages 5, 3 and 21 months, I have often considered turning in that "pink slip". I've been desperate, lately, for God to direct me to some hope. I feel like such a failure some days (a lot of days). Your words about how God really sees me were powerful. I can't say they've totally replaced the feelings of failure, yet; however, I am hopeful that the roots have been planted for the fruit to grow and that the truth will battle the lies of the enemy. Thank you! I will definitely be purchasing your chart and CD.
    Blessings!
    [email protected]

  38. I am glad that you shared more of this story and I rejoice at the Happy Ending of it all. My favorite line that you wrote was “The Bible says children are an inheritance and parenting is a high calling” Realizing those two principles would be a great foundation.

    nazyouth4god (at) hotmail (dot) com

  39. I read your post today and I am eager to hear what you have to say tonight as well at Girl’s Night Out. Thank you for taking the time to encourage us all in our walks with the Lord and with our kiddos. Kiya in HOT, Texas.
    [email protected]

  40. THANK YOU for sharing! I have a 2 y/o and a 7 month old, work full time and trust God to help me keep things in perspective when both are crying, tired, and hungry when we get home after work and daycare. I want so much to raise them to have hearts like Jesus. Thank you for sharing your struggles and how God has helped you. That helps so much.
    Stephanie
    [email protected]

  43. Thank you for your wise words and encouragement. I would love to have more information on what your chart included. Is there a resource out there I could get my hands on? I’m sure I could do the work myself, but why reinvent the wheel if it has already been done? This is exactly the kind of thing that I’ve been wanting to encourage my kids with, and sounds like it would be a great motivator to instill in them the characteristics God wants to see in us. Thanks again.

  45. What an incredible object lesson for your kids (and for the parents, too!). Especially with the m&m's. I'm grateful that when we feel like we're at the end of ourselves, God gives us more rope to hang onto. Thank you for sharing your heart!

    -Michelle
    [email protected]

  46. Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable. I am a mother to two toddlers and am in the throes of what you described. It helps to hear that I am not alone and that you found hope and moved beyond this place. Thank you.
    [email protected]