When I was in elementary school, I used to make bouquets out of azaleas and walk down the aisle of my dad’s long driveway lined with magnolia trees, imagining a prince waiting for me on the porch. Those were little girl dreams I thought I’d left behind.
In my devotion “I Haven’t Got Time for the Pain,” featured today at P31, I shared about struggles I had years ago with anger and unrealistic expectations towards my husband. One day God showed me that my broken dreams had become bitter expectations taking root in my heart: I wanted my husband to make up for all that my dad had never been, and it was destroying my marriage.
God showed me that I needed to forgive my father and release my feelings of bitterness, abandonment and disappointment, and invite Him into those hurting places. Only He could bind up my broken heart and set me free from the fear of never have a happy ending.
As I released my grip, God began to heal my heart and my marriage. It was the beginning of a bigger work He was doing in my life. He walked me through a season of looking back so I could move forward, and used that time to “rebuild [my] ancient ruins and restore the [broken] places [in my heart that had been] long devastated” (Isa. 61:4).
During that time, I realized there were several areas of my life that needed restoration. I decided to write out a timeline of my life and asked the Holy Spirit , whom Jesus referred to as our Counselor, to help me see the wounds I had buried in my past.
With each wound, I asked Jesus to heal the pain and claimed Isaiah 51:3, “The Lord will surely comfort [me] and will look with compassion on all [my] ruins; he will make [my] deserts like Eden, [my] wastelands like the garden of the Lord.”
Over time I started to release the pain of rejection, shame, wounds and deep disappointments. Although I knew God wanted me to deal with my past, I also knew God did not want me to dwell in the past. He would speak through His word, reminding me again and again, See, Renee, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you see it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland (Isa. 43:18–19).
Forgiving each person who’d hurt me wasn’t easy but it was essential. Often we are afraid to forgive because it might open us up to be hurt again. Or we’re afraid to deal with it, so we just leave it buried. But any time we bury a hurt that’s still alive, it just rises from the dead to haunt us.
In Ephesians 4, the Bible tells us to “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love… forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (vv. 2, 32). Forgiveness was demonstrated on a cross where Jesus displayed His perfect love by dying for imperfect people. At Calvary, Jesus laid down His pain and hurt and chose love and forgiveness instead. His forgiveness frees us to forgive others and ourselves.
Of course, some things are much harder and take more time to forgive than others. When I am really having a hard time forgiving or finding healing from a deep wound, I ask Jesus to cover my wounds with His blood. As Scripture tells us:
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding . . . he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Eph. 1:7–8; Isa. 53:5)
As I shared in my devotion, we can’t go back and change the circumstances or relationships that have wounded us, but we can go back and process the pain with Jesus. In fact, we won’t completely heal until we do. And left unresolved, the pain from yesterday can keep us from experiencing all that God has for us today and tomorrow.
As you process pain from your past that you have carried into your future. consider making a timeline of your life with key events, and write down any painful emotions and memories. Then ask the Holy Spirit to remind you where you have been, what those events caused, how far from God those things took you, and how they hurt you and others.
Invite God to enter into those memories with you. Give yourself time to grieve your losses as you ask Jesus to heal them with the power of His Holy Spirit as you focus your thoughts on transforming truths in His Word. As He shows you broken places, ask Him to bind up every wound with His healing touch and set you free from any captivity that has held you until now. Pray His promises. Cry if you need to. Just please take time, sweet friend, to heal so you can be whole again.
* If this is an area of your life you sense God leading you to dig deeper into, more about this part of my journey and this topic are in chapter 4 of A Confident Heart,
____________________
I’m giving away 2 copies, A Confident Heart today. Just leave your name or a comment to enter by clicking on “Share Your Thoughts” below this post. Also, I invite you to share your thoughts about this post, or about today’s devotion, so I/we can pray for you. It would be my honor to do that. I love you sweet friends. God has given me such overwhelming love for each of you!
WOW! I thought I was alone in the feelings I have! Thank you Renee for sharing. I’m still dealing with the hurts of my past. God is revealing them to me one at a time. How faithful our God is that He does carry us through. My marriage is on the brink of breaking up. The addictions my husband has and the fact he doesn’t want to recognize them along with the hurts from his past he drinks away has me wanting to walk out. I’m being encouraged to stay and let God work on him. I’m just not sure how much pain I am to endure through this process. Please pray for my faith in God’s plan for me and my marriage. Thank you Renee, for sharing your life and your faith.
May God bless you richly!
Renee
I have never visited your site or Crosswalk before. I regularly have daily devotions but use my church’s suggested scripture readings or a devotional book that I have in my home. This morning I was lead to look for an electronic devotional. I literally googled daily biblical devotions and chose the Crosswalk site.
As I read the devotion, I could not believe what I was reading. Your story sounded so much like mine. I have been married for 24 years and there has been hurt and pain. The hurt and pain has turned into bitterness and I too am very controlling and critical of my husband. While growing up, both my husband and I discussed many things about our childhood that bothered us. We talked about mistakes that our parents had made and how we did not want to make them. I was certain that we would have a” happily ever after” since we knew what to avoid. Well, that did not happen and as crazy as it sounds, I realize after reading the devotion this morning that I resent him for not making my “fairy tale” come true.
I have contemplated leaving many times and plan on doing so after our child graduates high school this year, because I just cannot seem to shake these angry and bitter feelings. I have trusted God on many things in my life, but cannot seem to give this totally to Him and know that both myself and the marriage can be healed. Please lift me up in prayer that I may totally give this over to God and receive His healing power. Thank you for the inspirationall devotion!
Wow! As I’m between clients and the drives of work, I got ‘my’ time to read today’s encouagement. Then, I read all of the well deserving women’s comments who definitely qualify to receive a free copy of your book! I just wanted to say thank you for writing! I have too had a lack of an earthly father, and have made plenty of poor relationship choices. I will say however that God is good and He works in our lives through such ways as this post today. He has been a heavenly Father to me by helping me through the pain. Thanks again! I look forward to reading your book. Many Blessings!
I always find your entries so encouraging. I struggle with my own doubts daily, and my best friend struggles with skepticism. I think your book could really help us.
Thank you for this right-on-time devotional today, Renee! I was praying on my way in to work this morning and God answered with your words. 🙂 This pain comes from my past, yes, deep-rooted issues of my upbringing and also hurts and insecurities along the way. And I have brought that into my almost 15 year marriage and boy is it suffering. Your words of trying to control and a critical spirit toward my husband pierced me as that is totally me – ouch…but THANKS!
Blessings to you, your ministry and your encouraging, challenging, and Spirit-led words to those you touch!
Just this morning, I sent my husband a message saying I didn’t think he loved me anymore. In fact, I find it hard to believe that anyone really loves me. My whole life I have struggled with the fact that my father willingly allowed my step-father to adopt me so that he could get out of paying child support. Wow, I’m now still stuck in my ten-year-old heart…knowing that my daddy put a price tag on me! My step-father never ever treated me anything differently than his very own, but I’ve struggled all these years with the pain of not being wanted by who every young girl needs. I’ve struggled with the fact that my mom does not want me to have anything to do with my biological father and the burning desire to establish some sort of relationship with him. Against my mother’s wishes, I did try to have a relationship with him. Unfortunately, it’s not in him to give me what I need and here I am at 42, still wanting what that 10 year old little girl still grieves for.
So when I read your devotion on Proverbs 31 today, it went straight to my heart. I don’t know if I can let myself heal. But I know if I don’t I’m never going to feel whole and maybe that is what I’m afraid of. I don’t know what feeling whole might mean for me and sometimes I feel as though God doesn’t hear me when I pray, because I’m not worthy. But reading your words have given me hope and I will be trying to heal these old wounds…and trying to trust in my Father to help me grieve and then heal. Thank you so much for your words, you have no idea how they have impacted me this morning.
Hi. Thank you for your post today. I too suffer from a hurtful past, alcoholic father and uncaring mother. I was married at 20 and then realized that he to was an alcoholic. We are coming up on 23 years, and he is coming up on 12 years of sobriety. I still struggle with everything in your post. I too have asked God to come in, heal and cover up the hurt, but it all still comes back. Please pray for me.
I can’t believe what I’m reading here. All these comments show me how I am “not alone” in what I’m going through. I have “sisters” who are hurting, just like me. Struggling with the same hurts and disapointments as I have been. Thank you all for your openness and honesty. I am just at the beginning of my healing and it’s a frightening place to be, but I’ll trust in the Lord to hold onto me while I walk this healing road.
I feel as though God Himself just spoke directly to me.
God bless you all!
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s encouraging to hear how you and others have experienced God’s healing touch. I hope that day will come for me someday. As I continue to struggle through my second year of counselling, I know it’s the right thing, even though everything within me fights against it. I experienced horrific sexual abuse as a child, a violent rape by a co-worker at the age of 23, Christian parents who expected their daughter to be perfect and were oblivious about everything else that was going on. I became a master at burying my pain and disguising my life. I lost my self in the process. It wasn’t even until a couple of years ago that I told anyone about the abuse and rape and I am now in my late 30’s. I’ve suffered depression since the age of 6, several suicide attempts, past eating disorders and now panic attacks, anxiety and flashbacks as I try to continue on this healing journey. I so often want to quit but know deep within that I can’t stop now. I’ve come too far. I have a loving husband, 3 beautiful children and a future worth fighting for. Some days though, it’s just so hard to face the past again when all I want to do is bury it deeper. There is so much pent up emotion, so much anger towards God, so many questions, so much hurt. One day though, soon I hope, I know, I KNOW this healing will be complete and I will rest in the palm of my Father’s hand. He’s never let me go.
Would you please pray for me?
Oh how your devotional hit deep within my heart today! Last night was one of the many times that I looked to my husband to “fix” my pain! I was so angry for something that my husband has done in the past and continues to do even though he knows it is destructive to my confidence. I held my tongue and didn’t say anything to him, because I knew it was pointless. He would say I was hormonal…and I probably am! But instead I prayed. I asked God to help me figure out how to handle my feelings of “never being good enough”, and “he (being my husband) wants me to look like the women in the emails and texts”. His Holy Spirit spoke to me so gently, the way He always does, and said, “yes, your husband does have a problem with pornography, but you can’t change him. You can only change how you respond. Sweet daughter, you have got to realize your husband doesn’t define you, only God defines you.”
It comforted me…sort of…My dad was never there and when he was, I was still “never good enough”. I was too fat, or he would compare me to other daughters of friends of his. When will I be complete? When will the pain end? It isn’t everyday, but when I forget about how God loves me, I allow Satan’s lies to crush my spirit.
I know hearing God say that only He defines me should make it all better, but it still hurts deep in my soul. I continued this morning to pray that God would help heal my empty places in my heart, that were started also when I was a young girl.
AND THERE YOU WERE! IN MY INBOX! I know God placed your devotion there especially for me! Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your pain. You are an amazing woman and I want to thank you for listening to our Heavenly Father. The perfect Father!
Thank you for the great devotional today! It really spoke to me. I know that I have a lot of hurt from my past that I need to deal with and hurt right now from what we are going through with both my husband and I trying to find work. It has been very rough since my husband lost his job in July.
Renee, I am glad I read this article. I needed this. Please this is my story too. A sudden rush of anger and rage at what I think is unfair treatment, I am an emotional wreck and ruining my relationships. Yes childhood issues lead to bitterness and even though I love God I sense this is a real battle. Thanks for what I see as the detailed directions. I am going to pray these steps starting tonight. Would you bear me up please?.
God bless you for being so real and sincere.#
I was on crosswalk and read your devotion today. I love this perspective on healing. For many years, my family has ignored hurt, which has led to hurt along with the ability to ignore it being passed down for generations. The cycle will never change unless one of us is willing to deal with past hurts and break the cycle. I have been praying for that person to be me. Your book looks like a GREAT addition to my healing journey 🙂
What a great devotional today! It is so important to bring Jesus and His light and life into our hearts and any pain residing there!
This devotional hit home today. I have spent much of my life parked in the past. The hurt I have felt from my father destroyed my self esteem and self worth. Four years ago, he passed and I’ve been searching for closure that I will never have, and answers to the questions that I can never ask. I have two beautiful daughters and a loving husband who seems to always fall short of my expectations. You nailed it today….I’m expecting him to fulfill my “happily ever after”. I think I also pass this burden down to my daughters…now 26 and 19. My 26 year old now finds herself unmarried and pregnant. She is a college graduate with an ok job so I guess things will work out but this is not the “happily ever after” I dreamed for her. I find her situation somehow a reflection on what I did wrong as a parent. My youngest daughter just ended a three year relationship with the guy who I thought would be her “happily ever after”. My dream guy for her. He treated her like a princess yet they are too young to be so serious. Nevertheless, I find myself mourning the situation as if it was my breakup. It all stems from the past and the fear of my children or grandchildren not having the perfect father or that perfect “happily ever after”. Thank you so much for writing this devotional. I needed to hear this and even though at times I think I have walked through the pain, it is a reminder that I still have work to do. I thank Jesus for taking me as far as he has so far and I will trust in Him to keep me moving so I don’t park again. God Bless you Renee.
Thank you Renee, for every devotion you share. Each time I read something you have shared, my heart is moved.
I grew up in a good home, no real problems, except that I grew up insecure in who I was/am. I am now in my 60’s and at times, I still feel inadequate in who I am.
I do not see myself as a strong woman of God. Rather I find myself doubting myself and if I am praying w/others, it seems I close up and have a hard time.
But I know IN CHRIST who I am – well I know in my heart … it is the doubting self that continues to interfere.
I think some of this went into my daughter, who at 38, called by God to sing and speak to others about teenage rape, drinking, suicide, she doubts herself and carries her past instead of giving it up and living a Spirit filled life.
again, thank you for all your encouraging devotions.
God must have wanted me to read this post…it may have hit the nail on the head for me. Lately I have been feeling so discontented, angry at nothing, and retreating from the world. I am married to the most wonderful man, (3 years on the 17th) and was married to my high-school sweet-heart for 29 years before cancer claimed his life…so God has blessed me with not one, but two wonderful men in my life. I think that my heart is full of hurt and pain from an abusive parent…I know that I need to get rid of it and move on. But I don’t seem to have any success. Please pray that God will help me learn to release all the pain in my heart.
My father passed away when I was ten my husband and I went through many struggles much like yours Renee. I thought our problems were all my husbands fault and some of them were but I read in the Bible you cannot fight evil with evil. I know God was showing me I have to fight evil with love and part of that was forgiving my father and my husband. I still struggle with anger issues but they are aimed at myself now and I am not sure what’s up with that.
Tammy, I am praying God will speak into your life in ways that will help your marriage become even more beautiful than before:)
I love your devotional. It really touched my heart. Your book is great!!! I am having a rough time processing my hurt through my second divorce. I married two men thinking they would be what I needed. I did not ask God. I had a very neglectful father, too and my mother was not affectionate. I am still working on forgiving them. Especially my father. Now I find myself alone without anyone to care for me. I know God loves me but its still very difficult to be alone. Thank you for your words of wisdom and your openness.
Hi, I really related to the devotional this morning more than you’d ever know. I need prayer to look at my husband with love instead of hate. I loved him so much when we got married and I felt his love more than anything in this world. He was injured on the job about thirteen years ago and became disabled, our whole world changed and my dream was crushed. So now I’m very bitter and angry towards him. I hate the feelings I feel, it is taking its toll on me and our marriage. Please pray for me and us. Thanks.
GOOD MORNING RENEE…
GOD BLESS YOU FOR TODAY’S DEVOTIONAL AS YOU ARE ME AND I AM YOU ONLY WITH A TWIST AND THE TWIST BEING…I HAVE YET TO GET WHERE YOU ARE SPIRITUALLY, MENTALLY, LOVINGLY OR WHOLELY! I AM IN A STRUGGLE JUST TO SURVIVE EACH AND EVERYDAY…I CAN RELATE TO ALL THAT YOU SAID YOU WENT THROUGH BECAUSE I AM GOING THROUGH THE BATTLE NOW ESPECIALLY WITH MY HUSBAND WHO CATCHES THE RATH OF MY TROUBLED SOUL AND SPIRIT EACH AND EVERYDAY. PLEASE PRAY FOR MY HEALING AS I TOO WILL PRAY FOR MY HEALING ONLY THIS TIME WITH TODAY’S DEVOTIONAL IN MIND. I LOVE YOU RENEE AND WHAT GOD HAS BROUGHT YOU THROUGH AND OUT AND THE SHARING OF OUR TESTIMONY!
GOD BLESS YOU,
PHYLLIS WOODS ([email protected]) AS I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL I GET HOME TO READ YOUR RESPONSE, I NEED TO READ IT WHILE AT WORK NOW!
Thank you for today’s devotion. I am writing because of my granddaughter who is 14. Our daughter died when she was 31 and left two girls, ages 6 and 3. We adopted both girls and legally changed their last names to ours. Their father had left our daughter with no child support and did not care if we adopted the girls. Our oldest granddaughter has had so many problems with no father, no mother, and living with two old people. Also, she inherited the heart condition that her mother had and at 10 years of age she had a pacemaker/defibrillator installed, another thing that makes her different. So much of what you said in the devotional applies to her even though she does not have a husband. She is mad at God, her father, and us. Please pray for her that the Holy Spirit would heal all her damaged emotions and bring wholeness to her. Thank you.
Thank you for this scripture and devotion. I’m currently healing from my friend and husband having an affair. He wanted to stay with me and I’ve forgiven him but my unrepentful past friend who is trying to get Christian book deals off the whole thing is mind boggling to me and makes it harder to heal. Trying to focus just on Christ.
So what if you have buried the pain – which to most would not seem all that bad as I have had a really good life – so deep you don’t really even know what it is or where it is coming from?
D, I understand what you are saying. I refer to my pain as having been packaged up, very neat and tidy, and it has all been stored inside a huge warehouse – my heart and soul. Thanks to bible studies and prayer, God has started to help me take out one box of pain/memories at a time, open it up and go through it with me. I have been able to unpack and discover where the hurt, anger and meanness has come from. God’s love, the support of my husband and friends has allowed me to face the hurt and forgive. It is so hard to do this! I would prefer to just smile and put the box of pain back in it’s spot, but my heart needs to be free and I know it is something God has convicted me of. Stay strong D – pray, forgive yourself and know that God loves you and so do I. May he bless you greatly this day.
Renee, it’s through you and writing out a timeline of my hurts and emotions that I’ve come to a place where I’m going to get intensive Christian counseling for healing the pain of my past. It’s going to be the weekend of the 28th. Please pray that I’ll be open to reveal my pain and that God will bring healing and freedom. Thanks, from my heart.
Thank you for today’s devotion and your message to those dealing with past pain that there is hope and healing ifyou turn toward God. I went through a very painful marriage of 23 years, with a husband who suffered from depression and addiction, which eventually lead to a painful divorce, followed shortly thereafter with him being killed while being robbed. I can’t describe the pain I have gone through, my heart acually hurt from the pain, which I discovered is an actual condition called Broken Heart Syndrome. But rather than turning away from God, I turned toward Him and received an unbelievable strength to get me through some very tough times. I am the closest to God now than I have every been and know that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I encourage all those who are going through any type of pain in their life to hang in there, keep praying and keep God in your life and in the midst of the pain, try to see the beauty in life God has given you. God bless.
I have been in a dry place for some time and my life is seemingly falling apart. My relationship with my husband (whom I’ve adored for 15 years) has taken a negative turn and I’m not really sure why. As I sit in my quiet time trying to figure out what to pray/how to pray about it, I have been at at loss. Reading your post has given me direction. Thank you for your obedience and listening to God’s heart.
This is definitely something I’ve been dealing with over the past week. It seems God is tired of me pushing my past aside and wants me to deal with it head-on. It’s horrible when you didn’t even know how hurt you are but the release so far has been worth the pain dealing with it.
Your words have given me hope, I am dealing with a friendship that has been a struggle for me and didn’t know why. After reading todays devotion, I have realized that my insecurities go back to my early years when I was hurt by my best friend and for no reason known to me, she quit being my friend. So everytime I get close to someone, I keep waiting for the friendship to end. I guess I am the one that keeps pushing them away, so I wont get hurt, but I end up hurt everytime. Praying that I can look into my past and forgive my friend and myself. Thank you for sharing your stories!!
Your writing and honesty explained something so very simple, yet so profound, that I’ve been harboring in my life. What an awakening! Thank you for your truth and for sharing God’s work in your life. You have seriously impacted me profoundly today. I can only pray that God now gives me the strength and courage and guidance to work through things of the past that still hinder me today. Thank you for sharing. God blesses you!!!!
Please pray for me as I start this process with the Lord. I so want to move forward with all that he has for me. Thanks and God Bless!
Hi Renee! Hope your little one is better soon!
I’v shared with you before that I had been depressed as far back as I can remember but it did’nt dawn on me that it was depression until this year. I guess since I had been like that since a little girl I thought it was the norm for me. In recent years I have had some vague memories of possible sexual abuse from my childhood. I say possible because in my mind I’m not sure if it was real or a dream. I know that sounds odd but I have wondered if it really happened and if thats the cause of my depression. Honestly, if its true I don’t want to remember anything else. I’v never spoke of this to anyone before but for some reason the tite of your post today “Looking back so we can move forward” brought this to mind.
As I read the comments posted today, I see that so many of us ladies have painful pasts. I’m praying for each one of us to be able to forgive where needed and to live in joy and peace that only Jesus can give.
Blessings,
Janet
Thank you for the devotion today! The past does hurt even when we look back. As we get older we can look back and see it and make sense of it sometimes. Depression hit me hard when I was trying to have a child and then it hit me hard after he was born because I did not know how to be a parent and my life was turned upside down. Had to quite my job. I still have not gone back to work. Time spent with my son is worth a lot more than a job. I can feel God working in my life. I see Him working on my husband. We have been going through a lot during the past month. I turely believe things happen for a reason and my church family have been great! I believe God put some people in your life to test you and some in your life to comfort you. As I look back I my family when I lived with my parents had a lot of problems but I know there are people that has had worse. Depression does run in my family. I have turned to God when I need strenght . Some people in my family turned to drinking and drugs to fight the pain or depression.. Pray pray pray!!!!!! God will put a christian friend in your life to help you if you pray for it! Please pray for my family! I will pray for you !
As I was reading your devotion this morning I felt as if God was talking directly to me. For the past several years God has been revealing to me the brokeness and bitterness/ anger that has built up in my heart stemming from my dysfunctional upbringing. Since June my mom has been battling stage 4 lung cancer. My dad has not been very helpful and very uncaring toward her condition. It breaks my heart to see him treat her that way and reminds of how growing up as a child I remember the unloving ways my dad was toward my mom. Talking would be like walking on egg shells as we as would never know if what we said would turn into big argument. I am 43 and a single mom, suffered though broken relationships, and found that God had revealed to me this last week (confirming through your devotion) my broken dreams and unrealistic expections of finding my “Prince Charming” and having my happily ever after. I now know that I need to allow God to come into those broken places and heal me. I need to be restored allow God to rebuild my life so that He can bring me the person I need and not want. Thank you so much for sharing your story and praying that I God will now start the process of restoration.
Please pray for me. I have asked God time and again to bind up my broken heart. He has yet to do that. I am weary of asking. I am ready to give up. I am at the point where I don’t want to ask God again.
Dear D,
please don’t give up. i know the feelings of wanting to give up are so strong. i, too, have been praying for God to bind up my broken heart. God tells us in Isaiah 61:1-3 (of the coming Messiah), that Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted. God’s promises are true. Jesus quoted Isaiah in Luke 4:16-20, speaking of Himself and why He came. Through faith in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are reconciled to God, and that means we are His children, in Jesus and all He accomplished on the cross. So, what God promises for His children, He will do, you have His Word on it. when am weary of asking, i think God must be weary, too. but i was just reminded this morning in one of my devotionals that God never grows tired, and He gives strength to the weak. Isaiah 40:25-31. He knows we get weary. i pray that you will have an opportunity to take in these Scriptures and let God remind you that you are loved. as soon as i read in your post that you are weary, i thought of this morning’s devotional, and wanted to share with you what God says, what He wants you to know about Him. God bless you.
Hi D, don’t give up, wait for Him. I don’t know where you are but I sense desperation, from one sister to another I’m praying you hold firmly to God’s hand ans I know He’ll come through for you sis. Please don’t give up.
When going through the storms . . . do not take your eyes off Jesus . . . Our God is way so much bigger than satan; Please remember . . . God will never give us more than we can handle. I pray peace for you to stay strong and not give up . . . when all else fails . . . read the Bible; even though at the time you may not understand or comprehend those words . . . ask God to reveal what is written in your heart; let you feel His mighty presence – when you think you can’t go any further – feel God carrying you my friend. HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE
Sister hang in there , He’s right there with you, seek him. I often have doubts, lord knows, be strong in the lord, god’s got his hand on you. I’m here for you, any time, find me on facebook, or email me, I’ll pray with you. Christina Burgess / [email protected]
Your so special, hugs
Christina
Thank you for sharing your journey! I have never dealt with past issues because I didn’t want to acknowledge or feel the pain. I have always denied just how much things have affected me. My response to trials in my life has always been, ” I’m tough. It’s no big deal. I will be fine. I can handle this on my own, etc.” Now I am forced to make a choice. I can deal with these issues or let them destroy me. I always believed I could conquer on my own until lately. I have developed an eating disorder this past year and am becoming convicted that the only way out of the pain is to go through it. My prayers now are for wisdom. I am asking God to show me what he wants me to do.
Your devotions often enter my life at the perfect time! Two years ago, I was finally free from a past in an abusive relationship, so I thought. I pulled God so close and by his grace gained so much confidence and strength. I prayed and told myself I was forgiving. I really thought I was and I thought I was letting go. I am now in an amazing relationship with a wonderful Christian man. A man who adores me and sees me in ways that I can’t even see myself. I am so happy…which is when it all starts to surface. All the fears, doubts and thoughts telling myself things like “he’ll never marry me, why would he”. I know how ridiculous it is, yet it still happens. I will be creating my timeline tonight and talking with God. More than anything, I want to let this go. Thank you for sharing today!
thanks for sharing today ,i am fighting to get over my pain from my past,i was raised without my father i never saw him,i got married went through a lot in my marriage ,but GOD healed my marriage then my husband died he has been gone eleven years now,when i was getting past that my son died he has been gone three years now sometimes i am fearful to get into another relationship,
Blessings,Thank you for sharing how The Lord has brought you from your desert to your destiny. Just through your transparency I truly believe many shall be made whole and become the women of God that He has called them to be for such a time as this. Some years ago I dealt with pain I didn’t even know I had it was so well masked and one day while in worship the Lord spoke to me and revealed so much to me in regards to how hurt I really was because of my mother who I thought I had forgiven(my way of forgiving) That day I cried like a baby I was healed and delivered and truly set free and the hole that was in my heart the Lord poured His balm of Giliad and joy and peace and wholeness took place. I can only give Jesus the glory.That which was pain the Lord has turned it into a testimony. Thank you again. I truly believe your book Confident Heart will heal the broken hearted and set the captives free.
I needed to hear this , this morning I am and have been struggling with bitterness, abandonement and disappointment from the time I was a little girl. My parents divorced when I was 4 yrs old and for the most part my father has not been a part of my life.. When my husband was alive I put some big expectations on him , that he could never do, we had a lot of problems in our marriage, but I had vowed I woulnd’t have my children grow up without a daddy like I did….I need to go back and handle these things and they scare me. Thank you so much for sharing your story. My life right now is such a mess, please pray that God and I can get through it soon……Thanks again, Lisa
I received your devotional emails from my counsellor who has been helping me cope with depression, suicide, anger etc…I so look forward to your morning emails…i print everyone of them and re-read them throughout the day..of course, being a child of misfortune growing up I have lived thru struggles for my life and now thru struggles of being married to a severe alchoolic…I am so trying to find a way to the Lord but fail so many times with anger and resentment towards HIm…why me pops into my head each and several times a day…I am 53 today and have had this demon follow me for over 40 years…it seems that i am having problems breaking the cycle and at times wonder if its best to give up and finish this horrible ife i am living in…please continue emailing me as i am subscribe to your site…thanks so much..
I can play back the messages I’ve read for this beautiful devotional and they could be my words as well. Throughout a marriage that was anything but good, I tried to stuff the feelings of abandonment and sorrow I felt from my past. My husband was dealing with his own hurtful issues from the past. You’d think the marriage was doomed. Instead, through my walk with God, as my husband was dying from ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease), our marriage turned from hurtful, bitter to sweet and loving. Sadly, as my husband became dependent upon machines and nurses for his existence, our relationship became very tender and beautiful. After his passing, I became aware of my depression, but I have faith that God will stay with me as I attempt to work through things. Thanks so much for the encouraging thoughts today.
Thank you for this post. I have been reading your blog for a while and most days I feel like you are talking directly to me.
Todays’ post spoke even deeper to me. As I heal after learning of my husband’s infidelity and I look to my past to heal old wounds in order to start fresh. I am thinking of this as our second chance.
The problem is I am still stuck in my hurt I have been grieving my perception of my happily ever after and am encouraged by your words. I trust in the lord to help me see a way to letting go of past hurts and help us find a way back to a happy and healthy marriage.
Thank you.
I am in that place right now. Thank you for the timely post. I realized yesterday there was unresolved pain left in my heart. A deep well of it that needs to be dealt with. I too am being turned inside out/upside down. God has placed a calling upon me but told me I have to heal things from my past first. He is now working to free me from the things that have bound me for far too long. God Bless you and P31.
This devotion touched my heart deeply today. I have had this exact process with the Lord! I fought the pain for so long, so afraid it would overwhelm and destroy me. I denied it, rationalized it and ran from it for years and years. I turned to alcohol and drugs to help put distance between me and the pain of disappointment, the loss of my “happy-ever-after” life that never came to be.
But God faithfully waited for me to be at the end of myself and cry out to Him. I have walked for the past five years with my life completely in His hands. The healing He has done in my heart and soul is amazing. I find I still sometimes feel sad about what could have been and the wasted years of anger and hurt and disappointment, but I continue to remind myself that God is faithful to restore the years the locust have eaten and I am happier today than I have ever been.
Thank you for sharing the process with us. It blesses me to be shown so clearly that my process was not unique and that God works in all of His daughters as we surrendere to Him and let the Holy Spirit in to do the healing work.
Bless you.
Thanks for sharing today. Getting over a hurtful past is so much harder than most people can imagine. Just when you think you might be over it, something happens that sets you back again. I can’t afford counseling and I know I still have unresolved issues from an abusive ex and parent. I would love to win a copy of this book to help me get over that so I can move forward. My husband now is unbelieveably patient with me, but I know it wears on him. I also know i am not the best me I can be.
Thank you so so much! This is exactly what I am going through and have went through for many years. It has caused so much destruction in my marriage. I am attempting to put my marriage back together now and ask for prayer for my healing and the heart of my husband. I am climbing this mountain with God and just pray that I make it to the top. Thanks again God has definitely used your words today to speak to me.
Since before I was born I have always had ‘love leave’. Wondering my whole life why I was never enough for someone. 3 years ago my husband (17 years of marriage) up and left me and our 5 children. I blamed myself for so long for not being good enough, yet I remember going over everything and trying to figure it out. He would even tell me what a wonderful mother and beautiful woman I am. To this day he says those things, yet he is not here. During these past 3 years I have held onto God like nobody’s business and I have found a relationship with my heavenly Father like I have never known. Midlife crisis for hubby they say, but whatever is going on with him is not because of me, It affects me yes, but my prayer would be more for him (my husband – Joe) and somewhere along the way he can find God who can satisfy all he keeps seeking for. He claims he knows our Lord, but it is so very evident (actions) that he does not. If you want to pray for our children, that would be awesome as well. Thank you.
This devotion is exactly what I needed today and struck a chord in me. I am currently going through a very trying time in my life. My husband and I are separated after 20 years of marriage. He just decided one day he wasn’t happy with me & our marriage, and abruptly moved out of our home. Since then, I have found out many things he was up to that are not what a spouse should be doing. He has continued to blame me for his problems and his actions and will not take responsibility for anything. At first, I believed everything he said about me being at fault. But I now know his problems are not my fault. I can only control myself and my actions, not his. I love the Lord with all my heart, and I am striving to be a better Christian and better servant to Him. The only way I will make it through this life is to trust Him and put all my faith into Him. God Bless to all! Thank you.
Hi thanks so much for your devotion today.I am also trying to deal with and resolve hurt and pain from the past.it has caused anxiety and depression and I really want to break free from that! I would so love to receive a copy of a confident heart I really feel that it would be a great help and such a blessing! Thanks again
Thank you very much for your devotion today.I am also trying to deal with and resolve hurt and pain that caused me anxiety,depression and all of the evil thoughts in my life and i really want to be free from everything.I am always thankful for all your help in prayers.
Thank you for sharing your story. I too needed healing for a horrific past, and spent years in depression, thinking there was no way out. Suicide was my constant companion from the age of eight until two years after I got saved. I ran from God, turning to every occult path I could find – spending forty years in the wilderness. It took God bringing me to a pastor who showed me the love of the Father and counseled me for two years before I could accept Christ – the hurt was so deep. I am now healed, and the first step to my healing was forgiveness. I used to think it let my abusers off the hook until I finally realized that it was God’s incredible love and a gift for me, so I wouldn’t have to carry my past with me day to day. I got saved in 2001, and am so grateful to God for all He has done in my life. Your post touched and blessed me. God bless you. Heather
Thank you for your devotion today. It really spoke to me as I’m currently attempting to deal with many issues from my past that have trapped me in a long lasting depression.
I read your comments today and was all familiar. I am going through the pain of an abusive childhood and have recently started counseling. As much as I do see what I need to do and how to do it, my mind is totally blocked out of actually doing it. I dont really have any friends to confide in and this is proving to be a real struggle for me. Your words do give hope and I thank you for that!
I had a similiar experience and I joined a women’s counseling group at my church. There I developed several long-term friendships, which I needed so badly. I knew I needed this is my life to help me to heal instead of hiding from love. Since then, I have joined a Christian women’s group for women over 40 called Seasoned Sister – Pres is Pam Farrel. Many new groups have been developed in So. Calif. I also have been helped by secular counseling groups. Dealing with the pain of the past is not easy, but can be done with God’s and other people’s help. I love The Confident Heart – it’s been one of the most helpful for me. God will make a way – we will have valleys and mountains. Esp – the devil does’t want us to be healed. But Jesus Christ is in control and we can be MORE than conquers through Him. I will pray that the Lord will help you to develop relationships. It often takes time to be able to open up and trust others. I too deal with depression and anxiety from abuse as a child and then as an adult. God is the great healer. The stuff we have stuffed for so long has to be healed. It’s helped me to really forgive others also. The only person it hurts is me unfortunately. I will pray for you during your journey of healing. Blessings and love, Paulette
I am so thankful for the message that you did today; “Looking back so you can move forward.” I didn’t realize that I had not cleared out a hurt that I had experienced about fifteen years ago. As I read your message God began to show me that I never really dealt with this hurt. I truly thought that it was a past, as I went on to make a future, but there was always something holding me back from being totally free. I have asked God to help me to truly deal with this and heal me from it. Again, Thanks
I can identify with dealing with the past. I’ve been in a struggle for a long time. But God is faithful and with this devotion – I’m sure that God will see me through one day at a time. I haven’t always dealt with the stuffed feelings and anger – but again I didn’t know it. Now is the time God has shown me that He will help me through it. It’s really hard and I don’t always know what I am facing, but I am looking forward to healing.
I deal with my past probably everyday, but I also Thank God for bringing me out of the mess I had gotten my life in. He carried me when I was in prison and He has called me to help those with drug addictions through a Recovery group at our church. If my past can bring God glory then I will boast in my weaknesses because they show His strength and I will praise Him and Thank Him everyday of my Life!!!
This came at such a right time (Gods perfect timing) I thought that I had dealt with my past feelings and emotions when I was going through my Divorce. I took the class called Divorce Care which allowed me to grieve the loss of my mate and start to heal. However, I saw my ex husband recently and boy those memories of the past just surfaced. I thought that I dealt with all my feelings but I didnt. I am now spending time with God as Renee suggested and have the Holy Spirit show me what I am clearly hiding from. Great insight Renee thank you! Please keep me in prayer as this is so deep.