Does stress impact our confidence? Today I’ve asked my friend Tracie Miles, author of Stressed-Less Living to share how stress once diminished her confidence and threw her into a pit of doubt causing her to question her ability to fulfill God’s plans for her life.
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Although it was seven years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. Every morning I dragged myself out of bed, dreading another stressful and emotionally draining day at my job. A job which I had grown to hate, working for a supervisor whom I had grown to fear.
Not only was I overwhelmed with job stress, I was trapped in a deep pit of despair that was filled to the brim with doubt, low self esteem and zero confidence.
My heart and my mind were ravaged with turmoil. I had a demanding and stressful workload and a supervisor who used continual harsh words and often unwarranted criticism.
Even though I gave 100% and tried to do my best, I started doubting whether or not I was good at my job. Eventually my doubts began to creep into my personal life as well. Thoughts like “maybe I’m not a good enough wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend…” plagued my heart. Self condemnation started consuming my thoughts, and eventually I hit an all time low in self-confidence.
Juggling all the stress and pressures of the workplace was nothing compared to trying to carry the crushing weight of self-doubt.
The time finally came when I admitted I needed to make a change in my life. You see, I knew God had been calling me for several years to lay down my job, and allow Him to lead me into new places, but I had been too afraid and too insecure. But change was necessary, or else my physical and emotional health would continue to decline.
I resigned from that position, and although I no longer had the stress of corporate responsibilities, my life was still filled with many other stressors. Yet, upon leaving my job, I picked up my Bible more than ever before. And when I started making my walk with Christ a priority, I came to realize that even though my life was still stressful, my heart was at peace.
Why? Because as my faith grew, my self confidence grew with it. You see, I was coming to realize that my value is based on who I am in Christ, not who a supervisor said I was. I embraced the acceptance and value God promises, tucked in Deuteronomy 14:2, which says “You have been set apart as holy to the Lord your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure.” (NLT)
As my heart slowly healed from the brokenness of a broken person’s words, my spirit began to soar. God helped me understand that my value lies in Him, not in the approval or acceptance of the world. I need not base my self worth, intelligence or value based on what man or woman says, but on what God says about me instead.
It was a long journey, but the more I kept my eyes focused on Christ, the more my self confidence increased. I not only discovered my confidence again, I also learned that God is the answer to our stress, no matter what form it comes in.
And I finally found a calmness in my spirit that was not present simply because I left a stressful job, but because I had embraced my unstressed God: a Savior who loved me, despite my mistakes, sins and imperfections. My Jesus who told me I was His precious treasure, even if nobody else saw my worth, including myself.
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God not only showed Tracie the path to acceptance, self-confidence, and worth in Him, but He used her experiences as the training ground to build a story in her life which is now the basis of her new book, Stressed-Less Living: Finding God’s Peace In Your Chaotic World.
Today we’re giving away 3 signed copies to three of you! Leave a comment below this post and share with us something that is currently causing you stress. I’ll share too.
To find out more, be sure to visit Tracie’s Stressed-Less Living website: www.stressedlessliving.com . And if you purchase Stressed-Less Living between Sept 30-Oct 7th you’ll receive 7 FREE GIFTS.
My current stress is my vehicle being repaired. I was in a hit and run accident friday and now my car is in the body shop. I am stressing that is repaired correctly. Also, I am stressing about money. There is alot of things we need to repair in our home and don’t have the money right now. But the longer we wait, the worse the problems get, the more it will cost to get the things done. So many different reasons to stress and be fearful but I am trying to cling to the fact that God works all things to the good in my life. Sometimes it is hard though.
I look at all of the needs I see around me in my family and friends and I feel I should do something yet I feel so inadequate and I hear this voice that says if only you would…. then… and this really stresses me.
I know how Tracie felt, I too have an overwhelmingly stressful job. There are days when I close my office door and cry. There are so many demands placed on me that I can’t keep up and I feel like I’m not good enough for my job. The financcial situation at work is bad and I may lose my health insurance and have had to hold my paycheck for a week or more before I can cash it.. I go home at night to my husband whom I love very much but is not walking with the Lord. I have to deal with his demands and those of his home based business. Again I’m left feeling like I’m not good enough. I will be turning 50 in November and am dealing with accepting that change along with accepting that I’ll never be a mom. I need to lose weight, but I’m a stress eater so it’s a vicious cycle. There are situations with my siblings and other family members that cause me stress too. Though I know God is in the midst of all of this, I feel like I’m slowly being crushed by the weight of life. I need to focus more on Him and less on my circumstances. My stress are pretty insignificant compared to most on here, but thanks for letting put in writing, it helps!
S T R E S S….seems like its everywhere these days. My husband and I are at our peek of stress as of late. A business that is struggling, selling our home. And aging parents.
We look to God for strength and guidance and pray continuously. But admittitedly its just so hard. I humbly ask for your prayers in shoring us up through this time. I know no matter what God is with us and we need to just keep looking up.
Thank you so much for your daily words of encouragement
I am stressed out about my dad’s health lately. He is not doing good and needs alot of help just to get around. He is 85. Please pray for hi. Also my daughter just got back from Afghanistan and is looking for work. Keep her in your prayers also. Thanks alot.
So true…I loved this know that feeling and right now I’m moving into a different norm of parents relationship to Jesus. I need to be honest that I’m not connecting with who I want to be. Feel trapped but I know where I should follow Christ in my own way. I know no Church is perfect. I believe if we were perfect we would not be here on earth. Don’t know for sure. I’m scared I’m going to hurt them but I think they already know the answer though…I just need to tell them. My goal is to tell them in the next two weeks. Talking to a pastor sometime next week to see what his suggesstion might be.
I had been so stressed that I didn’t even realize I was so stressed. I went into a depression for a couple of years that I didn’t even recognize until a good friend outed me on it. Marriage is stressful, along with family life, along with work, along with extra curriculars, along with church obligations, etc. I have since realized that I am worth it to take care of myself first. I am a giving person and had given until I was “bleeding” so to speak. I have cut back on my responsibilities/volunteering/etc and am now focusing on me. It’s amazing how much more free I feel, I’m a new person. I am special, I am wanted, I am a daughter of God!
It seems everything in my life is causing me stress right now, like the world is caving in on me. Would love to have the book.
This is where I live. I chose going back to school rather than taking on more clients a the death of one client and the need to put another in a nursing home. My self worth was gone and my walk with God wasn’t what it should be. Returning to school and my Bible I gained the self confidence I needed. I am in a 31 Day “Crazy Joy” search with Ann. http://www.aholyexperience.com/
Today’s goal is to find three things: one caught, one given away and one on the way.
I praise the Lord for my son’s goodbye kiss I caught on my nose this morning, my hug I gave him and the job on the way.
Isn’t it weird how we allow a person’s negative comment, or a coworkers mood or just the fact that someone didn’t return your smile or even constructive criticism will make us start that ‘stinkin thinkin’ and it will tear you up unless you realize it in time and ask God to help you realize it is satan stabbing at you with thoughts he knows will hurt you. You can be on top of the world one day and feel like pond scum the next.
I feel like I am constantly saying ‘Jesus is Lord over my thoughts, finances, coworkers, whatever the case’
I just came out of one of those ‘funks.’ Thank you so much for your encouraging words and truth that you share to let us know we aren’t alone with this never ending battle.
Wow! I could hardly believe my eyes upon reading this. I was just sitting here asking God to please show me what I need to do. Stress is not even a strong enough word for what I am under right now and there is no job over me to press me down. I can do that just fine on my own. My 19 year old daughter who has Down Syndrome had to have surgery to reconstruct ACL and PCL on right knee. This was Aug. 22. She still will not bend the knee in therapy because she is terrified of the pain she perceives as happening upon moving the knee. I know we are quickly approaching time of knee freezing up, but she does not understand that. That is just one of the many things concerning her right now. Oh, did I mention it is just me and her. My husband of nearly 30 years left nearly 4 yearsz ago and divorced me nearly 2 years ago. Time heals all things? REALLY STRUGGLING WITH THAT AND FEELING MAJOR STRESS BECAUSE OF IT THAT AFFECTS EACH PART OF MY LIFE. Did not mean for that to all b in caps but don’t have the time to back up on phone as Caitlynm is currently yelling for help. Please pray for God to just settle a cloud of peace over my home.
Thanks,
Ronda
I have stress in my marriage, a 17 year old son and a daughter sick in California (I am in Ohio). I just want to jump on a plane and go hug my daughter and hold her tight!
I have stress from all sides right now. Work, home, marriage, health. It’s now time to practice letting go and letting God in all of this because it’s way too much. But He can handle what I cannot. He just wants me to relax, trust and watch His wonders. Hard part is relaxing! 🙂 lol. I’d love to read this book to learn how.
Wow, I can so relate… why is it so easy to believe the negative people say about us and not the positive… I can be so sensitive when I hear comments about me… It’s not long before I start to believe them and forget that it is GOD who gives us value and we are His treasured… I have to remind myself that my worth is because of HIM, because I have Him in my life, I can do all things through HIM… thanks for a great post!!
Oh yes, I can relate to work stress. I used to take everything personally and it would make me fill like I was not doing my job well.Then stress at home because of major life changes, taking on three little girls to raise and trying to figure out after all these years how to manage and work full time. God has definitley been with me through all of this. That is not to say I was always listening to Him. It took a lot burn out and emotional break downs. I finally heard Him saying “give this to me. You don’t have to do it alone. I am here for you” Now my stress is not as bad as it used to be. The more time I spend with God, reading His word and trusting Him I can handle things without the stress. I know that I can trust God and my confidence is in Him.
John 16:33-“I have told you these things so that in ME you will have (perfect) peace and confidence.”
1 Peter 5:7-Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”
So it is an ongoing renewing of my mind with His word and love everyday.
Oh goodness. As blessed as I am, I definitely still have stress in my life. My husband just started a new job and though I am very thankful that he HAS a good job, some lifestyle adjustments we are having to make since he started that job (although small) are taking a toll on me a bit. We also have a very active, ALL-boy 2-year old, 2 teenage girls (14 and 17) and a 10-year-old girl. I think their ages speak for themselves. 🙂 And the girls are actually my step-children, and live with their mom, who semi-frequently causes drama in our lives and has different morals than we do, so we constantly butt heads with her. My dad is about to start treatment for prostate cancer. My mom, who has been 30 minutes down the road from me my entire adult life is about to pick up and move to another state thousands of miles away. I started a new postion at work this past January and I have already grown to no longer like what I do, but I can’t leave anytime soon because I am 4 months pregnant and already have my short-term disability and maternity leave built up whereas if I went somewhere else I wouldn’t have such good benefits. Plus, who would hire someone that they KNOW is about to be out on materniry leave? Yes, I am VERY grateful to have those benefits, but that means I am stuck doing something I don’t like for at least another year and 2 months.
Thank you for all you and P31 do, Rene!!!! You are truly a blessing to all of us.
Could really relate to Tracie’s story. I used to enjoy my job but with increasing demands and expectations and no support from my boss, it became increasingly difficult to do my job. I was very stressed. I was losing confidence in myself and my self-esteem hit rock bottom. I was burned out and finally resigned my position. I thought leaving my job would make things better. That was 3 years ago and I struggle daily trying to get out of this rut and learning to turn it over to God. I would love to read this book. I believe it would give me the encouragement and start to helping me put God first.
Love the book! I”m working on my “timeline”.
I’m stressed about my job and lack of financial means.
Thanks for sharing! Sometimes we bring on a lot of stress ourselves because we don’t have the confidence to believe that we can do something great. So we stay in our box where it’s safe never fulfilling the plans God has for us to do. So much time we waste or spend with the enemy “low self-esteem”.
When I think about all that I do and don’t do, I get stressed. At the moment, I have church responsibilities on top of my business to run and a family to care for while my husband is in school full-time in order to change careers. Saying I do not have stress would be a blatant lie. We wonder how we will make it some days and other days God provides another avenue. Would love to read this book.
Stressed about all that needs to be done and so little time – feel as I am pulled in so many directions – work, home, church, etc. I am sleeping but never wake up feeling rested & refreshed. Plus worried about my son who just went off to college 6 1/2 hours away from home (and how to pay for it). God has blessed me so much – I need to learn how to count those blessings instead of being stressed by them.
I am a single home health RN working 50 – 56 hours a week. I also have a 2 year old granddaughter that i have been raising, an abusive unsaved daughter who lives next door, an unsaved son who wont have anything to do with me, and I am praying and standing for the salvation, healing, & restoration of my husband, our marriage and family.
The stress has gotten so bad that my lab work revealed that i am completely nutritionally depleted, my red blood cells aren’t even normally shaped anymore . I could go through the whole list but it is lengthy, only God was keeping alive. I have started taking vitamins and I’m supposed to get new lab work in 5 months.
Good morning,
I downloaded the first chapter of this book and I can’t wait to read more. I also hope that reading your book will lead to reading more of God’s Book! Thank you for all you do for us in sharing your walk with God.
One thing that stresses me a lot is my husband’s job. He works in the oil fields, and he is gone usually 3-4 weeks at a time. I am both mom and dad when he is gone. He also works a second job when he is home. I worry about his safety, and getting everything done at home. I work full time, have 2 kids, a grandson on the way (baby’s mom is still at home). Thankfully I found God last April, and He has been a huge help! Thank you for this post!
I’m overwhelmed with stress and need to make some changes in my life before the stress/anixiety takes over me. Thanks!
My stress is standing up for myself with the insurance company over a claim they should pay. I have the servant mentality – which is normally good because I do want to serve, but I realized recently I always feel inferior to everyone. I miss out on promotions at work or getting what my family deserves. My low self confidence is affecting my rewards from Christ. I want to learn to claim what is rightfully mine.
I’m dealing with my 22 year old daughter. She has a 3 year old son. Anxiety and depression is a genetic trait that seems to run through all my children and although my daughter was always difficult, it has only recently been thrown out that she may have a personality disorder in addition to the anxiety and depression. My beautiful grandson is used as a pawn for her to basically “get her way” and we are smack in the middle of not knowing which direction to head. It has caused serious problems with my 13 year old son who seems to be his sister’s main target. I’m sure that an answer to this situation might “look” obvious to someone reading this but there are many twists and turns that haven’t been mentioned. But the good news is that through the bible studies I have participated in on-line (and definitely including the Unglued I’m in now), I am learning (slowly) how to deal with this and more importantly, how to handle it like who I am, a God’s girl. So thank you Renee for all you and the group you are involved in do to support and encourage all of us..it’s really working.
My husband has PTSD. Enough said?
My boyfriend of 7 years ended our relationship 2 weeks ago, because I told him I needed more of a commitment from him and wanted to get married. He broke my heart by saying he didn’t feel the same way and just wants to be friends. The loss of the future I thought we had together and disappointment from his words have devastated me.
School is currently stressing me out. This is my last year and I have a lot of other responsibilities and relationships outside of school. I feel overwhelmed and off balance,
Job stresses are definitely causing stress, but Tracie’s experience with her job has been my experience at every job but the job I was laid off from due to downsizing and well I made more than everyone else because I had been there longer. It is led to so much self doubt, low self esteem and lack of self confidence. Growing up my mom always expected more from me, unless I was getting straight A’s and top of/best of everything it wasn’t enough. Even when I was told I did a good job it was always followed with but if you did this it could be better. It has been very hard to believe that God loves me and values me and accepts me even though I am far from perfect. This book seems like its just what I need.
When I read this I cried. I just got fired from a job I had for 5 1/2 years that everyday I dreaded and I thought it was me. I have been on depression medicine and sleep medicine for the past 5 years. I prayed day and night constantly because I could not deal with the stress and anguish. The women I worked with despised me and bullied me. They thought of it as a game but it was them 4 and the boss against me. In some ways it is a relief but the healing will take time. I would love to read this book! I think it might help me with this situation! I was just glad to read that someone else knows what I went through it wasn’t just me! Please if anyone reads this, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME! Thanks!
It is so amazing how God knows when to send words of encouragement to us! Thank you for sharing your struggles.
Stress is a health buster.. So important to have resources that keep our mind and body healthy so we can serve him. Having a grown child just move back home and launching a new business adds stress in my life. I. I look forward to reading this book!
Juggling work, teenagers and being a single parent. Praying for God’s guidance every day!
I’ve learned that our life is like a rollercoaster… Lots of ups, but lots of downs. We are in constant battle of fighting for our peace and joy. The battle always starts with the mind. As soon as I start to feel stressed, whether it is at work, family related, or just life in general… God draws me to go to Him and ask for his help. As soon as I do, the weight is lifted… and I have my peace. In God’s presence is the best place to get rid of stress..
Wow! What timing! God’s timing. Last night before going to bed I had some new thoughts….at least new for me. I had been to a Bible study and on my way home I was thinking about a lady who I was telling myself was opinionated and probably had opinions about me as well. Wasn’t sure about my relationship w/ her…could I really trust her? Yet, the most blessed thing happened next….New thoughts came to me….I don’t care if she approves of me or not….I have a peace now in my heart that I am receiving from my walk w/ Jesus. He accepts and loves me as I am and that is ALL that now matters. These thoughts are so refreshing and have emerged out of 8 years of living by myself. (Was married to a minister who chose a different lifestyle and am no longer his wife.) I am a people person and have talked to God a lot about not liking living alone…but my time and fellowship with Jesus has made me more at peace with myself and with the world. I am learning that Jesus love’ is really ALL that matters! Wow! What a gift! Would love to have a copy of the book….my daughter is still reeling from the after effects of the divorce-self doubt, people pleaser, and bound by having to do everything RIGHT! God is working-slowly but surely-in her. She is so precious! So love what you share, Renee’. God is not finished w/ us yet!
I am stressed right now by a move to a new state and the worry of finding a job. But my God supplies me with everything I need so I try to not get too stressed about it!
I can totally relate to Tracie’s comments today. Two years ago I was an emotional wreck dealing with a job in which I experienced control, emotional abuse, and my confidence took a nosedive. Also, family members, friends, and other situations have caused me to doubt who I am just recently. . Tracie’s book and her posts have been a great encouragement, as well as Renee’s book “A Confident Heart” and Lysa’s book, “Unglued” Most of all, believing the truth in God’s Word changes my perspective , as I internalize God’s love for me in my imperfect progress. Thank you so much for all the encouragement on Proverbs31. The daily thoughts from all of the ladies have been a blessing. I would love to receive a copy of Tracie’s book..
Thank you for sharing. its so true.Social pressures can increase everyday stress.
I love how God always knows what we need….I needed to read what you posted today.. I can’t wait to read the book.
Thank you for sharing this encouraging word with us. It was good to be reminded of our true worth…and of the far-reaching effects of stress.
Renee,
I met you in Memphis when you spoke to our Hope Women’s Ministry Kick Off for our Bible Study . We studied your book “A Confident Heart” that semester. Now, as one of the Hope in Kenya team, I get to share your message of God’s love with women half way around the world. “A Confident Heart” helped change my life and the lives of many women who finally understand what it means to let God be all we need.
I read Tracie post in the Proverbs 31 daily devotional and realized she was describing my life. I too have a very stressful job, but I really enjoy what I do everyday. However, sometimes the demands from other people and the responsibilities can overwhelm. Tracie’s message came at just the right time for me…I really feel it is God speaking to me through her… reminding me He is always there. I would welcome the opportunity to read her book and it looks like very good Bible Study material as well.
Thank you for your messages and may God bless you as you continue to share the wonderful love of God in all you do.
I work in child welfare and there is a lot of stress that goes with this position. There is no doubt in my mind that God has called me here, but sometimes Satan whispers in my ear that what I do here isn’t good enough. Additionally, the other people that I work with outside my office are not Christians, so it is truly a spiritual battlefield when trying to deal with high risk situations showing unconditional love … more so with the professionals than the families!
I signed up for Tracie’s 10 day stress detox study 3 days ago and it has already helped me so much. I wake up excited each day to see what the peaceful thought and prescription for peace is. I plan to order the book, but a signed copy would be awesome!
Stress is always there! Knowing how to better manage it is the goal,thanks for sharing what God taught you!
I have daily stress with my job and whether or not I should leave it. I have stress among family relationships and I have stress with health issues that we are trying to get in remission.
My stress is self-induced becuz I spread myself too thin and get involved in too many things outside the home….then my family suffers!
Stress is everywhere. Just try to remember to give it to God.
I quit my job in August because of stress. I simply couldn’t deal with the pressures of working for an atheist anymore and his snide comments all the time. My work schedule was changing and I had to make a decision between being involved in church or working. Since quitting, I have a different type of stress. I am adjusting to being at home, and to not making any money. I am also relearning how to spend more time with the Lord and am slowly growing closer to Him. God is faithful and I know he directed me to quit my job. I look forward to reading your book.