Thank you for joining me here in my little corner of the world. I want to welcome those of you hopping over from today’s P31 Devotion where my friend Donna shared her story of forgiving her father’s abusive behaviors. Today, I asked Donna to share more with us.
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I strained on my tip toes to peek through the curtains. Fear and panic gripped me as I watched the car go round and round. Spinning through one ditch then raging across the street, throwing dust and rocks into the air and barely missing a row of mail boxes. And finally, coming to a complete sudden stop as smoke billowed from the engine.
What started as a simple late night chore the night before ended in the chaos of Dad jumping in the front seat of Mom’s car the next afternoon and literally driving it to its’ death.
The night before mom had taken a late night trip to the laundry mat in my dad’s car. On our return trip home, my dad’s car overheated. Mom had no way of getting in touch with my him so she kept driving – it was late and she was alone with her three little girls.
He was furious about the damage to his car, so the next day He sought revenge by ‘doing donuts’ in the ditches alongside our country home until Mom’s car died.
This was one of many explosions. But it was the one that sent my mom over the edge and led her to pack up and leave. A few days later, after Mom had sold all our furniture, we loaded onto a gigantic gray bus that took us to my uncle’s house. A few weeks later we moved in with my Granny.
The next forty plus years, my Dad walked in and out of my life just as he drove the car in and out of the ditches that afternoon so many years ago. Broken promises. Broken hearts. Broken dreams. Broken girls. Broken family. And yes, still a broken car.
Recently, my Dad was kicked out of his nursing home for the third time for his temper and was admitted to a mental hospital. I sent an email to my friend Stephanie asking her to pray. Her reply, “…have you forgiven your dad…just wondering…wanted to make sure you were set free from that before things may get even worse with him.”
As I processed her question, I was flooded with emotions and memories of the car spinning uncontrollably in the ditches so many years ago, but God also instantly flooded my heart with His words from Matthew 18: 21-22, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.
I was able to respond with a “YES”! I had processed past hurts several months ago with Dad and intentionally went to see him after 15 years of absence. As God walked me through the visit, He made it perfectly clear that I could not change Dad, I could not change my past BUT I did not have to let my past define me.
In her book, A Confident Heart, Renee shares her powerful journey of forgiveness and says this:“Confidence came as I followed God’s command to seek and offer forgiveness.” Her story has helped me see that it’s possible to forgive and worth the redemption God promises when we do. As I have sought to follow God’s command to seek and offer forgiveness, He has filled me with His confidence to make hard choices – the choice to accept Dad – the choice to pray for Dad – the choice to forgive Dad – the choice to live in God’s confident hope.
I wish I could tell you that it was a one-time act of forgiveness like the one we’ve received from Jesus; but it wasn’t. It’s not. Forgiveness happens as current or past events surface. The key for me is to continue the forgiving – continue with the seventy times seven – to continue the circle God started so that He will complete it: “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in {me} will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6).
Lord, thank You for Your gift of forgiveness. Please help me to forgive those who have hurt me –just as you have forgiven me – especially when the memories of the past come flooding in. Help me keep no record of wrongs. Thank You for filling me with Your confidence. Thank you for freeing me from my past and my pain and not allowing them to define me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Won’t you join me in living a life of freedom – freedom from your past – freedom from your hurts – freedom from your fears?
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Today Donna and I wanted to share a 
“Living in the Light Giveaway” which includes a Willow Tree “Angel of Hope,” a Fall Yankee Candle and 3 signed copies of my book, A Confident Heart.
To enter to win, simply sharing your thoughts with us about Donna’s devotion or blog post here – or simply let us know how we can pray for YOU as you process Donna’s stories and God’s truths about forgiveness in your life.
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Thank you, for the devotion and this blog post. At 50+ years old, I am now beginning to realize that I will never be enough for my family. I want to work on accepting myself the way that God made me and to accept the fact that I will never measure up to my sister. I have been a Christian all my life and never once did I ever think to pray about this. Thank you for opening my heart.
Wow. Thank you so much for such an honest, transparent devotion. For a moment, I thought you were telling my story. I have had an ongoing battle with forgiveness for my father my entire adult life. My mother passed away last year and her death resurrected many emotions toward my father that I thought I had overcome. Thank you for the reminder that forgiveness is a constant battle. Until I reconcile my feeling toward my earthly father, I will not be able to have a healthy understanding of my heavenly Father. I have been pondering reading your book for weeks now. I think this is definitely what my soul needs.
A Confident Heart was heart changing – life changing – attitude changing – perspective changing. It was through Renee’s words that God directed me to forgiving my father. And it’s still a work in progress for me. Praying for you.
This devotional was great. It really touched my heart! I too have a hard time with forgivenree. My brother, my only sibling, has hurt me emotionally so much this past year. We were once very close and now we haven’t talked in a years needed to be reminded that forgiveness is a continual process, ongoing for the rest of our lives.
Tears are still streaming as I read this devotion. This could be my story, my life. It is an instant replay back in time as I watched the verbal, physical and emotional abuse that my father dealt us daily. Until broken and shattered my mother left. I loved my Daddy with all my heart, I miss him still. He was never there, he chooses drinking and prescription pain pills over his family. He would promise to come, call, and write you name it. I have the ONE letter that he sent the whole time he was gone. He is sick, I know, but I cannot understand why?? He showed up at my brother’s wedding and caused a horrible scene, when it was my time to get married, I choose to elope to keep the same scene from happening. I don’t know how to get over the hurt. I don’t know how to forgive. I say that I have, but have I truly? He has wonderful, sweet grandchildren that he chooses not to know. How can I subject them to him? How can I continue to put my heart on the line? I know that God is my father, but times, I would like to have one on Earth as well that would have held me and told me that he loved me.
Karissa, my heart aches and my eyes tear up for you. Would love to pray for you.
Lord,
I praise you and I thank you for Karissa. I thank you for how you have used my story to touch her heart. I would ask that you would walk alongside Karissa holding her hand and directing her heart to let go of the hurt and the pain. Direct her thoughts and direct her heart to begin the process of forgiveness. Loosen those chains and free her from the pain and the past hurt. Show her how to escape her pains of the past and how not to let her past and her pain define who she is. Reveal to her that she is loved unconditionally by you – her Abba Father that can love her like no other. Free the chains of bondage and show her how to walk away and practice forgiveness. Show her how to forgive. Show her how to love those that have hurt her through your eyes. Fill her with your peace and a love for you that is so strong. Let her fully understand that You have chosen her, your have redeemed her, that you love her and that she can forgive others. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
20 Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. 21 She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.”
22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.
These verses are from Matthew. Jesus healed this women based on her faith!!! He also tells us that the faith of a mustard seed is all we need!!! I pray for Jesus’ healing for you!!! This verse has been a rock in my life. I too have many past hurts that harm the present. The process of forgiveness is a long road and can be lonely but Jesus’ healing is worth every step!!!
I too had an abusive father. He was handsome and tall…and so wonderful in front of other people. When we got home, he became a different person. He flew into rages. Once threw my dog and she landed in a heap. She did not die, but to my nine year old eyes, the picture plays and plays. We, my little brother and I lived on the tiny scraps of kindness he threw our way every once in a while. We worshipped him and feared him.
He disappointed us again and again. My parents divorced when I was 12. I remember my little brother looking out the window with his suitcase in his hand for a father who never came. He was just a little guy, maybe, six, or so…he later threw up from anxiety, or grief. Promises broken.
He did not walk me down the aisle at my wedding. We barely ever saw him again.
So what do I do…I married a man exactly like him. Now I watch my sons, waiting for their father on his custody days…with fear in my heart.
Forgiveness?…a process ongoing
So sorry that you had to experience abuse in your life too – both with your Dad and your Husband. Praying for God to come alongside you and help you and lead you with this whole forgiveness thing. It’s tough …. especially when you see the person that hurt you so badly on a regular basis.
Praying for God to give you the strength to lay it at the cross and leave it there. Praying that God will protect you and your heart from bitterness. And yes … forgiveness is an ongoing process.
Father God, may Julielynn remember as a daughter of the King of Kings, as a believer in the finished work of Christ on the cross on her behalf, that “He delivered us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:13-14
Thank you for this timely encoursgement. It was what I needed to hear today as I have been processing Daddy hurts lately too. The yelling, the never good enough, the comments that you are stupid, the angry disapproving looks, the critical pickiness, the physical abuse, the mom that did not know her self worth enough to do anything sbout the situation. Those wounds run deep but Gods faithfulness and his truth never ceases. They are just as you said sometimes harder to believe on certsin days. But BELIEVE we csn throug His power May God bless your ministry. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but the powrs of darkness…ladies, walk in the glorious light! We ARE daughters of the King.
Praying for you as you process your Daddy hurts. Praying that God will walk you through them and comfort you and fill you with His love.
And YES, praising Him that WE are his daughters!!
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband just left my four kids and I, with no explanation to why…we were married 18 years. I think your book would bless me.
Praying for God to come alongside you and your kids and surround you with His presence and His peace as you embark on this new leg of your journey. Praying for God to reveal Himself to you in new and exciting ways such as your Provider and Your Husband.
Thank you. I know God loves me, but I think I really need help remembering all His promises. Everything is so scary right now. I am afraid how this nasty experience will affect my 4 daughters. This is so NOT the way I thought life would be. 🙁
I too have done things that I know I should’t have, and have had to realize that althought the person I hurt (my husband) may not forgive me, I do have a father that is faithful to forgive no matter how bad I have been or what I have done. This really is helping me now as I struggle with possibly another divorce which would be number 4 and how to forgive myself for making such stupid choices and causing another failure in my life. Thank goodness Jesus loves me and forgives.
Lord, surround Donna with your presence. Fill her with a heart of forgiveness and transform her heart into a heart of confidence – a heart that contains only labels that you assign us like – chosen, loved, daughter of the King, royal priesthood, child of God. Take those negative labels and replace them with your love and your truth. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Thank you for your encouragement to forgive. I have to forgive someone close to me for a lot of hurts. I have truly felt God’s peace and healing as I “let go” and let God do what needs to be done in that person’s life, instead of me wasting emotional energy on trying to fix the situation. God is my Hope and the example of a true “forgiver”!
Praying that God will fill you with His courage and His love and His forgiveness. It’s a tough process and one that I go through daily. Lean into Him and He will strengthen you and encourage you to forgive those who have hurt you.
What a gift sharing your journey is to me and to others. Thank you for your transparency and for your courage. The Lord is using this, your pain, to bring His healing not only to you, but to me and other wounded ones. Thank you.
Thank you for the reminder to choose to keep forgiving moment by moment. I struggle with forgiving my own father as well.
The scripture to forgive seventy x was a great reminder. I’m in a place now where I’ve been hurt & trying to forgive and your story has helped.
Came over from today’s P31 devo. What a powerful testimony! Thank you for allowing God to use your past for His glory and to encourage others like me. It is so true that forgiveness is a continual process, not a one-time event. If you can forgive your father, I certainly can forgive the petty hurts in my life and accept others the way they are, too.
It’s all the work of GOD. And He gets all the glory!
He gets all the glory and we get His joy! Alleluia!
Thank you for the devotion on “Living in the Light.” I have struggled all of my life with my feelings for my dad. He was a good provider but he still did things that weren’t right. Because of that, I don’t want to ever be around him and I have struggled on how to really forgive him. Your devotion has given me hope and guidance. Thank you so much. May God bless you always in your ministry.
Lord, please walk with Robin as she learns to forgive her Dad as you forgive her. Open her heart to her dad and replace those feelings of untrust with love not only for her Dad but also for you. Guide and direct her as she seeks to forgive. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
I really appreciated your devotional and blog today. I love to hear others testimony of overcoming the hurts of their past. I believe I have forgiven the men in my past but I really struggle with giving 100% of myself to my husband and living in the joy of the Lord. Please pray for me to truely trust in the Lord. I am not sure why I struggle with this so much because God is always so good to me but I do. Thank you!
Lord, empty Melanie of herself and fill her to the brim with yourself. Fill her so full that she overflows into the lives of others – especially her husband. Give her your eyes and your heart to see her husband through. Restore the joy of your salvation to Melanie. Give her the strength and the boldness to obey you and to release your past hurts. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Completely understand your heart….I’ve been in this process for years, and acceptance of the past, and making the choice to trust God is the only way to let go of the past. How exciting that God will be the father you never had. Blessings, Janet
Praising Him and thanking Him that He is my Abba Daddy!
Thank you for this. I have recently forgiven someone very close to me. Then it happened again. This reminds me that I will need to continually forgive them. Thank you again I truly needed to be reminded what forgiveness is. God Bless.
And as we learn to forgive continually, we draw nearer to God. What a wonderful cycle!
Thank you for this devotional. You motivated me to try to memorise this text this week: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Really appreciated this post today; it enabled me to truly check whether or not I have kept a “record of wrongs” and what forgiveness looks like going forward. Thank you Donna. I can only imagine how good your book is from this one post.
The best $15.00 I ever spent!! It will change your heart and your life. You will walk away a better person because of the message that God has given Renee to share with us. I know … God used Renee’s words to change my heart!
And if you don’t have $15, you can check it out from your local library. That’s what I did. I was so blessed I recommended it to my ladies bible study group. Now they are doing it together as a book study . The sad part is I’ve moved away, so they’re doing it without me. Nevertheless we’re all blessed!
Wow! I have no other words to say. I was blessed by the devotional and your blog. As with everything in life, forgiveness is a process.
Yes it is. It took me about 40 years to even think about it and now it’s a daily process for me. So blessed that God does not give up on me and that HE forgives us.
Thank you for sharing the power of forgiveness that is on going for me. I long to trust Him who is the Ultimate Forgiver I long to be more like. He only knows the outcome.