I don’t know about you, but I love to do things my way! I love to know what to expect and have life fall into place and meet my expectations.
I love feeling like things and circumstances are in control – or that I am. And honestly, in some circumstances I need to be in control, but then there are those times when I need to let it go and trust God with the outcome.
My friend Karen Ehman is a self-professed recovering control-freak. I love that about her! She’s joining me today to talk about her new book, Let.It.Go. Karen is my oh-so amazing-friend and ministry teammate with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s also the wife of one very wonderful guy (he helped move furniture and a huge wall hanging at my house not too long ago}! She’s also the mom of 3 great kids, a national speaker and 4-time author. Here’s a little about her new book and how you can win a copy!
Karen’s book Let.It.Go. will empower you to:
- Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
- Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
- Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
- Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
- Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God
*A companion 6 week dvd and Bible study guide is also available.
I had the chance to interview Karen about this new project. Here is what she had to say:
Karen, tell us a little about why you wrote this book. Are you a control freak?
Ummm….yeah! What woman isn’t about at least some aspect of life? We have so many areas that we must be in charge of—at home, at work, in the church and community. What happens is that we let our strengths of multi-tasking and getting jobs done morph into a weakness of being controlling.
So, are you saying controlling can actually be needed at times?
Of course we must control our homes and schedules and such. We should work with diligence and excellence. What we have to be careful of is going from being conscientious to being controlling. Being conscientious is doing a job well. Being controlling is trying to manipulate the outcome. There is a difference and we know deep down inside when we’ve crossed that line. This book helps women determine how to control what they should, trust God with what they can’t, and most importantly, how to decide which one is which!
What are some areas you cover in the book where women try to run the show?
We try to be in control of our homes, our schedules, our kids, our husbands, our circumstances, others’ opinions of us…..the list is long!
So what is at the root of why we women control?
We control because we don’t trust God. We think we know better than Him just what is best for us. It is as old as the garden of Eden. Well, guess what? God called and He’d like his job back!!
The holidays are coming up. Do they bring out the control freak tendencies in women?
Oh yes….in fact. One whole chapter of the book is about my friend Lisa Whelchel daring me five years ago to not make any decisions for a whole three weeks RIGHT AT THE HOLIDAYS!! It was painful. And actually, in the end, wonderful. I think this topic is so important that I’ve written a free five day resource for women dealing with the holidays called From Chaos to Calm: The LET. IT. GO. Christmas Challenge. Your readers can sign up for it here.
What is your prayer for the woman who reads your book?
I pray that through learning to relinquish control and let go of the reins, she will be able to grab hold of her faith. That her relationship with God will strengthen as she learns to stop trying to fix outcomes and get her own way but seeks His perfect will for her life—and the lives of her loved ones—instead.
Thank you so much Karen!! I’m so excited about your book!
Enter to WIN: Click “Share your Thoughts” below this post and let us know why you’d like to win 2 copies of Karen’s new book, Let.It.Go. as well as a Starbucks gift card! Also, share on Twitter, Facebook and via email and link back to today’s post and then leave another comment for a second chance to win! {I’ll be announcing last week’s winner in another post shortly>}
The message of Karen’s book and your interview with her really speak to my circumstances right now! So I thank the Lord for using you BOTH! I am about to begin an eight-week, full-time work assignment in our local school. I have prayed for wisdom to be able to simplify our celebrations at Christmas and to rest in the peace of Christ. This message of “letting it go” is one I will especially benefit from this year. Thanks, and God Bless! Amy
Hi, thank you for the opportunity to win this book. I’d like to win it so I could read it, and also have the pleasure of giving a copy to a friend or family member – the only difficulty would be in choosing WHO would receive the other copy!
The devotions that have come from this book describe me so well. I am a perfectionist and a control freak with very high expectations. Consequently, my poor family cannot begin to please me. This makes for a very tense and sad home. I suffer from anxiety and depression and a lot of guilt. I would love to hear about some ways to truly trust God and slay this ugly control monster!
I’ve loved Proverbs 31 for years, and the godly wisdom and encouragement I receive there. I try to share resources with our small women’s group and the college age girls I mentor at our church. Always looking for new sources of encouragement and thoughts on issues we all share.
Having been a teacher for over 30 years, I find it hard to relinquish “control” at home. I really would like to be more of a Proverbs 31 woman. I am reading The Excellent Wife – and this is very helpful, but Karen’s book focuses directly on the issue that I am currently battling. I have already ordered the book, but it would be wonderful to share a copy with my twin sister – so I hope I win a copy as well.
i just started being honest with my self about being a control freak after doing the Christmas 5-day challenge! really want to read this book to go deeper.
I would love to win a copy of your book. Being a homemaker with 3 young children, while still caring for younger siblings and aging parents makes it challenging for me to let go. God has and continues to do so many things in our lives. Since everyone else depends on me I find it hard to seek God when I now He is the only one who can deliver me from any situation with victory. I am currently reading Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst and making imperfect progress. It is a blessing to know that I am not alone. Thank you for sharing your story. It gives women like me hope and help with the direction of the Lord that we can become all that God has created up to be. Thank you. May God continue to bless you and your ministry.
My daughter and I both NEED this book; plus, I would like to use it as a resource in the ladies’ class I teach
Oh my! My whole house is full of control freaks and I’m afraid the six children got it from their Mom and Dad….Thanks for the opportunity to learn from a fellow sojourner.
I need to learn to let it go and be a woman of influence, especially with my husband.
I would love to win this book for it will bring me closer to the end of my race on this earth finishing it GREAT with letting go of the control!
As a mother of 3 girls this book would come in handy. When our children can see that it’s okay to Let go and let God, that’s powerful. They need to know that we don’t always need to “have control” and where does it begin, in the home 🙂 I’m really looking toward to reading this book and applying what I learn to my life and walk with the Lord.
I would love to win because (let’s be honest here) who doesn’t have something that they need to let go of? He who Christ sets free is free indeed! I love that He continues to set me free; however just when I think ” I am free!” then my wonderful God sets me free of something else and reveals something new to me. New level of freedom we did not even realize existed! He knows my needs better than me. He continues to amaze me and I stand in awe! I have a new friend at church who needs encouragement and has advised she has a hard time with these issues. I would share with her.
Wow I guess I’m not alone in being a control freak. I would love to get your book. I think it would be a blessing to receive one. Thank you for sharing.
Help, Mom has 1st stage Alzheimers and getting out of control. God is definitely in control but i need your book! And prayers……
Would love to win this! Need to let it go!
looking forward to reading the book and understanding more about my control issues.
Oh, how I need to read this book. I just mentioned to a friend today that the season my family is in right now is one where I need to have more flexability in my vocabulary & that is way out of my comfort zone.
As a woman, it is refreshing in a way to know that others struggle with the same issues as me! I don’t feel so alone. Looking forward to reading the book.
I need to “let go and let God” and I think Karen;s book will help me gain good perspective on that
I need this book. I have such a hard time letting certain things go. I must learn to TRUST God in all the areas in my life.
I can be controlling, wanting things to go my way and when they dont I start to doubt myself and get angry. I most definitely need a better way to relax and trust the Lord.
I would love to win 2 copies of this book because, I love to inspire and encourage others. I find reading my bible and other spiritual healing books. Im able to help those who dont know Christ, learn about his love and promises for us. GOD is GREAT all the time!!!
I also love to win those 2 copies to share with my sister who needs to know that Christ loves her despite of her circumstances… and besides Ive never won a contest. I’d love to know how that feels…
Thank you for your time and consideration.. God Bless
I am a control nut & need to let it go and let God!!!!
Unfortunately, I think most women think of being control freaks as a badge of honor in our culture. Thanks for steering us back to God’s thoughts about the subject!
This is a timely Word this morning for the season that I am in right now.
I have always been a planner and tried really hard to control things and recently I was dissapointed by a situation that occurred and really wanted to give up.
The Lord comforted me with Proverbs 3:5-6 and then when I absorbed that in my system- He told me to stay in my lane. That was His way of telling me that the only thing that I can control is my growth, my response, my contributions to life.
Whoa!!!!! He was telling me to mind my business in a nice way and I am reminded of that great serenity prayer to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference.
I’m in a big process of Letting It Go and I believe that this book will be a great supplement to what the Lord is showing me.
I also lead the Women’s Ministries in my local church so I would love to give the other copy as a door prize at our next meeting.
God Bless
I never pictured myself as a control freak until I read your blog post. I now see so many areas in my life where I really need to let go and let God. I know that He can handle all that life throws my way, but losing my grip and trusting Him completely is often a struggle.
Karen’s book, Let.It.Go, sounds like a resource I could use (in addition to my daily bible reading) to learn to let it go. I also think he her book would be a great gift for my cousin who is also a bit of a control freak. Win or lose, this book is at the top of my must read list.
I’ve got find a way to learn how to control my emotions when I can’t control circumstances – this applies in so many areas of my life – as well as my family’s lives.. Would love a copy of your book to help 🙂 Thanks for encouraging words!!
Your devotional came at just the right time for me. I have a small vacation coming up where we’ll be visiting my brother for a few days for Thanksgiving. I should be excited, but I’m looking at all the stuff I have to do before we leave, as well as everything that needs to be done before Christmas. Just this morning my heart was turning towards The Pit. Thank you for reminding me to boss my heart around. I can praise God for all He has done. I can thank Him for this opportunity to go and visit my brother. I can thank Him that I have a warm home to celebrate Christmas in. Thank you for reminding me to praise at times and not always being “doing.”
would love to learn more about control issues!
I would like to win a copy of the copy because I want to learn how to “Let Go”.
Thank you so much for your encouragement Renee. I bought your book and started read it but I stop for some circumstances at that time period. I will read it back soon. Today I have learn how to praise God or boss my heart, there are times that I don’t find it easy to do it, but you said that I should focus on God than even my circimstances. I am praying to boss my heart deep down. I am so thankful for all the team pf prov. 31 I am encourage by each one of you every day. Thanks and God bless Karen’s new book.
I want to win it to get those insights into my daily life and 1st don’t let other things to control me, but to have the wisdom to control them but not to negg or get frustrated. 2nd to share with my friends about it.
Thanks.
Trying to figure out the balance of life as a new working mom. Would love a copy of this book to help!
Wow! I’m reading thru “A confident Heart” and read this very section on the bus this AM. I guess God knew I was going to need it twice! I really highly recommend that book, and so I’m sure the next one will be equally impactful, can’t wait to read it!
This book is going to be a great read,sometimes we don’t realize we are control freaks until someone shows us. We all have areas that we try to totally control,and it’s so much better when we give it to God,he can do it all.I would love to curl up with two of my favorite things,a great book and a Starbucks coffee.
I would LOVE to win this book!! I need SO much encouragement and direction when it comes to acknowledging that GOD ALONE is in control!!!
Lord help me. Why do you ladies keep reading my mail??? I so needed this today. Usually my glass isn’t even half empty, it’s broken… My path to self pity is well worn. All the stones have been kicked aside, and the way has been made clear so there are no hinderances to get there. I WILL start bossing my heart around. I WILL take authority over my spirit. Can’t wait to read this book.
Do you ever just see yourself written about in a post…. Yep this has my name all over it! What a freeing feeling to know that there are other women out there just like me and who seek the Lord to help redirect it all to HIM! Thank you for these resources.
Oh how I need to learn to let it go!!! I feel like the world record holder of control freaks. I struggle daily with surrender to God’s will vs. just let me get this one thing done. Looking forward to reading this book.
Unfortunately I’m pretty prone to hold onto things, especially when I have my heart set on something or when dissapointments or hurtful things people say and do against me.
I have especially recently been facing this more so, as if God is trying to prepare me for something more.
First time to Renee Swope’s website, but as we know, God’s planning is perfect. I have a large plaque in my bathroom that reads ‘LET GO LET GOD’, I was part of a women’s group organizing our church retreat titled the same, and have a few books (unread) by my beside with this topic in them somewhere. You’d think by now I’d be able to follow my own speeches, yet have not. I continue to hold onto things for far too long, i.e. relationship that is going nowhere, home that I cannot afford, grudges to an ex-husband, clothes that I don’t where and probably never will!, exercise routines, hurts from dear friend, and I could go on…
So do I need to finally learn to Let. It. Go. …? Yes, I think so.
Being a single mom of 2 teenage girls can be challenging enough, but without letting God be in control it is the makings of “insanity”. My life has been so much harder when I try to control others and do what I think is best for them, they are each individuals with different personalities, talents, and God given gifts to use as He wants them to, not me! The more I learn this and accept it, the more peace I have with my self and in our home. Instead of trying to do the same thing over and over, expecting a different result, I need to just give it to God (LET IT GO!) and watch him do his thing! He is so faithful, he always provides and gives us just what we need at just the right time.
I am finishing The Confident Heart in my bible study and would absolutely love to have a copy of this book for myself and to give as a gift this Christmas.
-A Work in Progress ☺
Well said Jennifer! I too am a single mother and the ‘control freak’ comes out in me often. When we’re trying to do the same for two parents, is more than a lil’ challenging. Your comments about ‘accepting’ people for who they are and expecting different results is so true. Thanks for posting, I will try to remember….
Thank you for this message. This is an area of my life I am working on. My job of 13 years is ending as the year comes to an end. I am newly divorced this year, and have one son at home. I know that God does have a plan for me, and to provide for us. Thank you for the reminder to walk in faith…I look forward with anticipation of what He has in mind. I would appreciate reading your book and giving one to a friend that too is strugling with understanding God’s plan for her.
Thank you again for your heartfelt message.
I’m so excited about learning to Let. It. Go. with Karen. This has been a theme in my life as I learn to take responsibility for me and let others live however they choose. Yikes!! That’s scary especially when those others are dearly loved by me & of course, I know best. Lol letting God be our expert and leader can be hard. I love how Karen says to stop pursuing perfection and start pursuing the person of God!
Thank you for this timely message!
Greetings in Jesus’ Name:
This is a great post! I really appreciate this thought: “What we have to be careful of is going from being conscientious to being controlling.” Selah! I can surely try to be controlling at times, and it certainly doesn’t work often at all. This is sobering and thought provoking: “We control because we don’t trust God. We think we know better than Him just what is best for us. It is as old as the garden of Eden. Well, guess what? God called and He’d like his job back!!” 🙂 I so want to trust God and believe I am getting better at it, but, obviously, I haven’t made it. I like what the Amplified Bible says about trusting in, leaning on, and relying upon God. Whew! Why must it be so difficult to put into practice. 🙂 I guess I make it that way. God has been dealing with me about being .” “…swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath: for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20, NKJV) That would surely help with control issues.
I have a 15 (almost 16) year old daughter with whom I seem to always be at odds. The issue is invariably control – she wants to control and I SHOULD be the one in control. Maybe I need to find different words. 🙂 Thank you for helping me think on this a little more. God bless you all richly!
Looking forward to reading this book. I need to learn to let things go when it comes to stressing out about things that happen in my grown childrens lives.
Please, please “pick me” this has been one heck of a year. I am learning the hard way ALL of the lessons it looks like your book is teaching on. My husband and I were on a great path and, even though we know it is all in HIS mighty hands, I am having a miserable wrestling time ever since things completely jumped track. My husbands career had finally taken off only to be terminated his last day of 6 month training. We were planning on conceiving another child this summer, that was harder for me than him losing his job. I know I need to LET. IT. GO. in so many areas because I know that HIS plans for my life are SO much better than I can imagine, but the the hurt is also there. I would love to share the second book with so many different women, but I would give it to my mom. We are very much alike in our personalities of being “take charge” which more often than not tetters if not completely nose-dives into a control complex. I believe she would gain much from it in how to walk in relationships with not only me but also my younger sisters whom are both in college and striving to find balance between honoring mom and finding themselves. A good cup of coffee never hurt either! Thanks for sharning this book with us! Even if we are not picked to win, I have it on my Christmas wish list! Thank you Karen for your heart!
I have read the Chaos challenge, I am going to try my best with the help of God to not be controlling during the Holidays. My fear is that if I don’t do the cleaning and the cooking and the decorating it won’t get done. I did start practicing the concept just the other night. My husband and I were talking about ordering some gifts from the company I work for, we went over the list of reciepents together and then picked out the gifts for each together, instead of me just ordering what I thought they should get. Not only did we get something accomplished but we were spending time together. He says I need to get a chair in my home office so he has somewhere to sit.
What a great devotion. Something I sorely need to put into practice. I try so hard to control what might happen in the future. Does that make sense? I don’t know, but that is the way I feel. I think too much about what the future might hold that I can hardly function here in the present. I love Psalm 103 that Renee mentioned in her devotion. It is one of my favorites. The book sounds like something I really need and I would love to win a copy. I also know someone to give a copy to. Thanks for your encouragement today.
I need this book!!! This has been a struggle for me since a young age. I try to control things because I feel that my life has been so out of control. Ever since I was molested by a VERY close female in my life for only God knows how long…my life has felt out of control causing me to try to control everything and everybody… The things and the people I cannot control I seem to quit or give up on… I need help…
I have got to learn how to pet things go! I would love to win a copy of this book and share it with some close friends and family. I am looking forward to reading this book and learning how to let. It. Go!
Let it go…..It would be so nice to be able to not let your adult children lives impact you so much. How do you let it go when you see your kids hurt and know you could help but it’s best to stay out of it. Mother’s love is hard to turn off!!! I would love to read this book and just Let it go and let God have it!