How hard is it for you to let people know how you’re doing? I mean how you’re really doing.
I think most of us tend to keep our guard up and shy away from lettings others in. But, we long to be able to let our guards down and depend on other, especially when we’re in need of help, prayers or encouragement.
As I shared in Chapter 2, “Sometimes I think we tell people we’re fine even when we’re not, because we want to be. Or we hope that by saying we are fine, eventually we will be. Other times we act like we’re fine because others expect us to be. And I love how so many of you admitted you also have days when hormones or grumpy-ness trump all good manners and anyone within ten feet knows you are not fine. In fact, what you really meant in code is that you are Frazzled, Irritated, Neurotic, and Exhausted!”
Today, I want you to meet and hear from my friend, Melanie from Only a Breath. She’s the one who created our really cute Online Study blog button (see my sidebar if you want one)! Today she challenges us to take off the “I’m Fine” mask and be real with God, each other and especially ourselves about how we’re really doing.
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… She walks the hallway, fighting back tears that threaten to well up again. It’s been a long night, filled with betrayal and disappointment. Her future is uncertain. Back at the office, she tries to maintain normalcy. When eyes met, she is faced with another routine, “How are you?”
“I’m fine”, she answers, with a plastic smile that hides her pain.
… Across town, a young father shakes hands with the fourth interviewer that month. “Thank you for your time.”he says. On the way home, his wife calls to see if there’ s any hope for the job they’ve been praying for…for so long. They have mouths to feed, children to raise, a car on its last miles… “It will be fine”, he assures her. As he hangs up, he hangs his head in despair.
… A young, single mom cuddles her baby on the park bench. She holds her boy close, surrounded by happy couples with smiling children. She never expected to raise her child alone. The pain is sometimes too much to bear. Will she ever feel that she belongs? That she is wanted? Loved? Beautiful?
“We will be fine she whispers into his soft ear, surrounded by whisps of fine, brown hair.
“I’m fine…”
“We’re fine…”
“Doing great…”
In Chapter 2, Renee invites us to take off the “I’m fine” mask. But she also acknowledges just how scary it is to expose the pain that keeps us up, haunts us like nightmares, and threatens each breath of hope.
… but we’re fine.
Or are we?
Could we take off the mask that we, especially as Christians, live the “fairy tale”? We are certainly blessed, in every circumstance guarded by the Father, but honestly, in the deepest parts, we aren’t fine.
I’m not fine.
If I took off the “I’m fine” mask, would you think less of me, or would you think I’m … human?
We don’t have it all under control, and I can’t help but think that when we act like we do, we basically tell God that we don’t need him.
We’ve got this.
By pretending we’re “fine” we tell others something must be wrong with them if they are hurting… because we certainly are not hurting.
We’re fine.
What if we let someone else in? What if we said, “I’m hurting, and the details aren’t important, but would you please pray for me? I would really appreciate that.” Could that help them, in return, reach out to someone else when they are hurting?
Do we need to grant one another permission to not be fine?
Could we come broken before the Father, and cry out for His mercy and strength? He did promise to never leave us or forsake us. Even when we don’t feel it, could we still cling to His promise and claim it?
He knows we’re not fine.
Could the trials be the very thing that break the strings holding on our mask, allowing it to fall to the ground so we cling to Him a little tighter?
The truth is…
We aren’t fine… We are forgiven.
We aren’t in control… We are held by the hands that control our very heartbeat.
We aren’t invincible… We are made to look to the only One who can heal the broken.
As a sisterhood of hearts seeking our confidence in HIM, let’s take off our masks today. At least here with each other. And maybe with just one other person we meet this week. I have a feeling someone needs to see the battle wounds and scars we carry in order for them to stop pretending and seek His help too.
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9
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Thank you so much Melanie, for reminding me and all of us again today that God’s grace is sufficient. God and His grace can be my sufficiency… if I let HIM be.
Today’s Assignment:
- Continue or finish reading chapter 2 and answer end of chapter questions. Then come back and share with us what God is showing you about how His perfect love changes everything – especially the pressure to be it all, do it all and know it all – all at the same time.
Connect in Community:
- Please “Share Your Thoughts” below this post. (Remember if you are reading this in an email, click here to visit my website and connect with our ACH community!
- If you are on my site, click “Share Your Thoughts” and do just that. (This is such a valuable part of this study. My favorite part!!)
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I think, in some ways, we live in a society where people ask how we are, not really wanting an answer. It’s a courtesy. The truth is not what they want to hear. Speak the truth too many times and you find yourself alone. I have lupus. I have had it since I was 18 and now I am 54. I have learned to be fine. In the last five years I have suffered more loss than you can fathom. I left my husband of 27 years because of a prescription drug addiction, alcohol addiction and neglect. Our marriage had been dead for many years. When I walked away, I lost my step kids, whom I had raised from the time they were little, my 11 grands, and most of what I owned. I had no babies of my own. I felt empty and rejected. I met someone and remarried. My new husband had problems as well and he disappeared and went into recovery. Again I was flattened. My sister took me in. We are now back together but that cost me my siblings. Going back to him was a big mistake in their eyes. Then my first husband died and I was devastated. He died three months after I moved in with my sister. No one seemed to understand why I felt pain. I lived with my sister for about 8 months and I learned that no one wanted to know how I really was. They all discussed me privately and I would hear it later. I felt talked about and I was. My mental state affected my lupus and honestly, I just would have rather died than listen to all the lectures, criticisms, and advice. Finally, I stopped sharing, nearly stopped eating and dropped down to 100 pounds. I was not fine. Grief was a constant. I missed my husband. I was severely depressed but couldn’t take anti-depressants because when I took them previously, I lost about 20 lbs. The doctor didn’t want to risk it. The day my sister sat me down at the kitchen table and told me she couldn’t live with someone who had no ambition, was the day I decided that I would always say, ‘Just fine!’ I had lots of ambition, just no strength, no energy, no motivation, no will. I felt like I was dying. I felt like I wanted to die. I tried to explain but was met with what I call the cancer argument. “I know people with cancer who… ” who apparently could manage to do all the things I could not. When my husband moved here so we could work on our life together, part of his recovery, I was then accused of using my sister because she had taken me in. I hadn’t used her. I was sick, wounded and grieving. I needed a safe place and couldn’t find one in my family. I am safe sitting on the Father’s lap, telling him all of the things that people can’t seem to deal with or don’t really want to hear. What I have to deal with is not what a person shares with normal, healthy people. They don’t want to hear about pain, sickness and loss. They want to hear, ‘I am fine!’ I am sharing here hoping others will learn how deep despair can become when you haven’t got someone who will listen without judgement. Praise God that he loves me just the way I am. He knows me intimately. I have a long road ahead of me, but in his grace, I will be safe. I will never be who I was before this happened, but hopefully God will use these trials to grow me into someone stronger and more confident. (Hope this made sense. I tend to ramble when I am upset. I’ve come a long way since then but this is what came out of Chapter 2.)
Oh, sweet friend. My heart goes out to you. I just can’t imagine…. However, the part where you said people don’t want to hear about pain, sickness, and loss — so sad to hear this but I think you are absolutely right! This challenges my heart to be completely open and genuine when I ask how others are, and not to just use it as a greeting. Please know I am praying earnestly for you, and pray God will cover you with His peace and joy. I praise God for the good work He has already started in you, and know you will be encouraged by this book. He will be faithful to complete His work in you!
Blessings,
Melanie
Ev,
Thank you for having the courage to share. Thank you for reminding me to be compassionate. We tend to forget that people who are struggling ( and most are) sometimes do not have the strength that we think they should and we need to help be that strength, not judge and condemn. Thank you for reminding me to be and encourager. I will keep you in my prayers. What you have gone thru has already been a help to someone else…me. God is already using you for good. Thank you for sharing and teaching today. Praying for God to bless, comfort, and continue to use you.
What do you do when you take off your mask and find that you are hurt by the one or ones closest to you…who are supposed to truly love and support you? I believe with all of my heart that God and Jesus know and love me…I continue to struggle with falling short every day. Sometimes it is so overwhelming that hiding is almost easier…a relief, even!
I am not fine, but Melanie is right. I tell others that I am all the time. Always trying to be strong for everyone else, or just not wanting others to know I don’t have it all together. Well, I’m actually hurting right now. I cry out to God at night, sometimes. But mostly, I keep it to myself. And I miss out on the comfort that I could receive from those who care about me. Thank you for reminding me that it is okay if I don’t have it all together.
praying, praying, praying for you…. I love your honesty and thank you for your comment. God hears and sees you!
I can’t take the study right now because I am the caretaker of my dad, who is on hospice in the last stages of Alzheimer’s. There’s just no room for it with my dad, husband, and teenager. But I have been so blessed by each day’s email. Today was awesome. People ask me all the time how I’m doing. I always say I’m fine, yet I have never been so far away from fine. Thanks for letting people know we just have to be, we don’t have to try so hard. Keep ’em coming!!
I can truly sympathize with what was said. I’m always telling people “I’m fine” when in reality I’m not. I could sometimes cry so hard and loud just wanting to feel better but I don’t for fear people will think I’m crazy. I have this fear that has crippled me from driving and going where I want that I don’t understand and don’t know how to work through it. I can’t get a job so I can live on my one but I don’t really stress over that because I’m doing what I think I should be anyway in that regard. I just don’t like being broke and having to depend on others for money. I’ve always worked. I need to pull the mask off and let go.
I really appreciate Melanie’s thoughts. I am not finding in your side bar, Renee, the Online Study blog button Please help. 🙂 Thank you. God bless you and everyone involved with this study.
Here’s a link to the Online Study button in several sizes 🙂 Just yell at me if you have any problems with them.
http://reneeswope.com/online-biblebook-study/
hugs,
Melanie
I know that I am not fine even though I act like I am. I am one that tends to “stuff” everything inside until I explode at those closest to me. I am slowly working on this and hope that this Bible study will help.
There is a “cultural voice” in our society that tells us we must “be fine” “look fine” “act fine” lest we be considered less than , not good enough, politically incorrect, weak. This is true of both men and women. Even as Christians, we often tend to turn our ears toward this this voice and the poisonous UNTRUTHS it whispers.(voice of a fallen world?) The truth is …this is not our Father God’s voice. HE speaks love and acceptance,grace and mercy. The truth is… our friends,coworkers,bosses,neighbors,church family,et al are ALL going through the same trial, it just takes on many different shapes and forms; divorce,illness,death,financial crisis,lonliness,etc. They aren’t fine,either. They need our love as we need theirs. They are aching for someone to care, also.
Sisters, it is time we arise and take a stand for the AUTHENTIC LIFE we were created to live. Did the Lord not permit our trials in order to strengthen us that we may in turn be strength and comfort to others? Many unbelievers have been led to the Lord this way. In my own life I have experienced rejection, the unexpected death of a spouse and other loved ones (by both accidents and suicide),lonliness,loss of employment and financial insecurity. I pray that by others knowing my situation, it has and will continue to encourage them in some way. We may not always be FINE, but that’s one reason why we HAVE EACH OTHER! Blessings to you all!!
This is absolutely perfect timing….I am so good playing the part of being “fine” – when as most people have said earlier clearly I’m not fine. The bad part is that I feel like I should be fine. I work, I have good health, 4 beautiful kids, a wonderful husband(we had to do some serious soul searching when talking about marriage) so naturally from the outside looking in I should be more than fine. But I’m not….and I’m honestly tired of pretending to be fine. I think I mostly worry about what people may think if I say something other than I’m fine……I know it shouldn’t matter but it is definitely a reality! I’m so thankful to read other posts of other Christian ladies who aren’t fine. My prayer is that I will truly truly began to seek God and cry out to Him(i think sometimes that because of my past I don’t deserve His love but none of us do right?) Please pray with me and for me!
Thanks
I have to agree it is very scary to remove your masks. I spent most of my life hiding behind my masks. The ending of my marriage, the divorce, the loss of friends, family, church, my parents, etc. has seemed like a continual war.Most days it feels like my heart has been shattered into a thousand pieces and trying to put the pieces back together slowly and purposefully. Few understand that kind of repeated loss or really want to hear about it. My pride keeps it in too. That is something the Lord is slowly revealing to me. Yet, finding safe people to share the pain, the journey, the ups and down has been rare. The people I thought would be there for me, are not.
However, I am learning to let my mask down with God. As I learn to trust him more, than hopefully, he will provide other people I can share with. The Lord is showing me his grace is sufficient like it was mentioned on this post.
Thank you for the reminder to not always advise, but to acknowledge someone is hurt and needs prayer and loving empathy.
It is a good point that was made that we can say ” I am not fine today, but pray for me.” That is honest. Thank all you ladies for your comments and sharing your lives. It does help to know you are not the only one struggling.
May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, give each of us the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that we may know Him better. Lord, we want to know and rely on the love You have for us, and live in that love. You say that whoever lives in love lives in You, and You in him. In this way, love is made complete in us, so that we can have confidence today and forever.
Jesus we are taking off our masks and seeking You with all our hearts. WWe want an up close and personal relationship with You, one where I don’t have to pretend or hide. Thank you that we can have that because of your up close and personally pursuit of each of us!! In Your Name we pray, amen!!
Thank you for praying this for us Renee. I am agreeing with this prayer right now. I need it.
Thank you Renee!
Our verse for this week reveals that God knows the “real me” – each lustful thought, each evil thought, each sinful desire of my heart. “Before he formed me in my mother’s womb He knew me”. It is the wretched thoughts/sins hidden in my heart that reveal the “real me”. God’s Word says, “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he…” (Prov. 23:7). What people around me see are my “good works” – not the “real me” that God sees. If I were to show others the “real me”, they would see a person who lusts after other men. Would they think the same way about me after they knew this? Probably not. Only Jesus’ perfect love accepts me “just as I am”. When someone asks, “Did you have a good day?” I would feel comfortable to share with that person about a spiritual or physical need I have, but I believe letting people see the “real me” would destroy my testimony.
Sometimes we say we are fine because it is easier to respond that way, no one is committed to explaining or listening. But what I found when my husband was going through a terminal disease I wanted to keep my guard up and say fine to my friends and family. I needed to have fun positive conversation with them. And I found it much easier to visit a physchologist, a complete stranger to pour out my hurt and express myself to them. I needed my friends for some normalcy in my life in order to help my husband and keep me from melt downs. My husband thanked them for that to. 🙂
That’s a great perspective that seems like it was also a wise decision. You are right – we need both kinds of people in our lives 🙂
Years ago one of our Pastor’s wives asked has I was and I respond “I’m fine” to which she responded “No, how are you really” It communicated to me that she really cared as she sat and listened to me giving me her full attention. I like to call that discernment, but really it is just simply giving your attention to someone really.
Sometimes women say “I’m fine” because they don’t want to be seen as whiners, others don’t want judgment. That Pastor’s wife is long gone but she left that with me and I try not to over use it.
I myself these days have become secretive when others have asked , mostly hoping they would say “No, How are you really?” So far no one seems to care. So I don’t answer or delay returning calls. This is where I am today. Hopefully things will get better, gotta stay hopeful.
Love this! I need to remember this challenge too! 🙂
After finishing Chapter 2 today, I’ve realized that I need to go to the Lord FIRST and tell Him that I’m not fine and pour my heart out to Him. Most people, even my loving husband of 20+ yrs., really don’t want to hear “I’m NOT fine”. I cannot expect people to meet my needs, only the Lord can do that AND change the situation. I do like the suggestions to reply with “I’m blessed” or “I’m hanging onto the Lord” when asked “How are you?”. I’m going to practice replying with either and see what happens…He just may make it a great opening to share my faith and Him with another 🙂 And actually, I AM blessed through Renee’s online bible study and community with all of you godly women, and so much more!
I grew up not knowing that my father and mother loved me or even really cared for me. They never hugged me or kissed me or even told me that they loved me. My dad was a work-a-holic. He was a farmer/factory worker and my mom was a school bus driver. We lived a we’re just here life. We went to church only on Easter and Christmas and I didn’t know what it meant to have a Father who loved me and wanted to hold me.
In my early high school years is when I really started to doubt myself as a person.
My school mates run me down a lot and teased me all the time. I felt like a no-body. I was never smart enough and good enough to be on any ones team.
My family didn’t care if I was there or not. So I searched for love in other ways. I found a boyfriend and he told me that he loved me and wanted to have sex. I got pregnant and my parents made me get an abortion to hind it from everyone. I didn’t know at that time that it was wrong (but I do now). I have struggled with not forgiving myself and my parents for years.
I asked Jesus into my heart/life when I was 18 when I met a wonderful Christian man. We have been married for 28 years and I still sometime struggle with that memory even though he reminds me all the time that God has forgiven me and to let it go. I know that God has forgiven me, but every time I hear about abortion, Satan brings it to my mind again and again. I am trying to work through this.
Cindy,
I can relate to you on some many levels. I didn’t grow up with my parents and I have always felt a void. I later moved with my mom but I was not bonded and still felt and do feel a void. I’ve never known my father and my mother is not forth coming with any information about him. I was raised by my grandparents who did the best they could for me and my siblings. We weren’t shown love or affection so that is a problem for me today. I do hug my grandchildren and tell them I love them so that they will know it but I didn’t do it that much with my own children. I’ve never felt smart or like I was adequate. Even after finding the Lord at an early age, I still didn’t know how to follow Him like I do today. I too had an abortion so when I would hear that word, I would feel the same as you. I have learned to forgive myself but it still creeps up sometimes.
I will pray for you and hope we both learn how to “let go and let God” use us and help us.
Thank you Victoria for sharing with me. It helps to know that I am not the only person that has went through this. Love you my sister.
I can relate to you in so many ways, Victoria. Thank you for your honestly and transparency today. I pray God will take what Satan meant for evil and use it for HIS good! I pray God will cross your path with young girls who may feel the same way now that you did growing up, and that you will be able to encourage them and point them to the love of Christ. You are forgiven by Him, and if God sets you free, you are FREE indeed! 🙂 Love you!
Melanie. thank you for your prayers. I do appreciate it and I know that Victoria would too. Love you my sister.
When I tell people that I am not fine, when I tell them I have problems, they always answer, “oh everything will be fine” So I usually don’t share how I am. I am the go to person, the person with the answers, the person with the “experiance”. I can help everybody, but not myself.I don’t want to be the go to person anymore, the one with the answers. I want to be fine, for real. I think it is time to really read this chapter, and really pray. thanks for helping me to see this.
I type this as tears fall down my face. I know God knows why and I know he has a plan bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine on my own. I also know that my suffering will not go unnoticed by him and he is working in me. I just can’t keep from crying today because I long for the human interaction of a friend who is there for me and can listen and give advice. Afterall God created me that way didn’t he surly he doesn’t want me to live this side of Heaven feeling alone and like nobody but him cares. I’m so confused and am feeling attacked by satan who is relentless in his presute of me. I know that God is the answer but I’m also wondering exactly what is it he wants me to learn in this time of struggle. When does it end? Where is the joy that God promises? He’s blessed me with so much. Yet I still feel alone. Why?
God sees you, sweet friend. I know it seems like He doesn’t sometimes, but He sees and cares. I pray God would cover you with His love and assurance of His presence today. May you feel an overwhelming sense of His love for you, and in turn, be able to use this time of suffering one day to reach others who are suffering. He loves you so much, and I do too. If you ever need a friend or someone to just talk to, please feel free to contact me any time.
love to you,
Melanie
Oh how many times have I said those words – “I’m fine” – too many to count. I am finding now that I am more open about what I am going through others are more open with me. Why is it so hard to take the mask off and just be ourselves. God created us to help each other.
Renee and Melanie – you both mean the world to me. I read this book last year and it changed my life. I was making some very hard decisions and that is hard when you don’t have a lot of confidence in yourself. I gave it all to God and he has helped me grow and change so much over the past year. Thank you for this wonderful book Renee!
Melanie, I found you when you were making the one word buttons last year. What a blessing you are! I love your blog and you feel like a friend even though we have never met face to face.
I love how God puts the right people in your life at the right time. 🙂
oh sweet friend! You have made my whole day. I’m happy to see your sweet “face” over here!!! God does have an amazing way of crossing paths! I pray He will encourage you as you go through the book again — He encourages me every time I read it!! 🙂
As women, most of us put on the front that all is well – with our family, on our jobs, in church, etc. As for me, I do it because I want people to think that I’ve got it together. But the message really hit home when it shared that if we always have it together then do we really need God? I think you should have at least one friend whom you can go to to be totally honest with and share all of your concerns, troubles. This will help in the natural. But Jesus should be the one whom we totally give our worries too and trust that He will work it all out. For when it’s all said and done He is the only One who can and will work it out.
I have finally gotten a chance to watch the video from a few days back and between that and today’s post, I feel like my heart has a lot to process. I want to be known and loved, but I am so scarred to let people in. I am very guilty of the “I’m fine” line. I am so afraid that if people knew I didn’t have it all together they wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I have a very type a, perfectionist personality. In my heart I equate love with having to have it all together. But 99% of the time I feel like I don’t, and the more I try the more I feel defeated. These chapters are definitely causing me to step back and reevaluate how I handle things. My prayer, and has been for along time, is that God could bring into my life an amazing godly women to share with. I have had friends come, but they always so; which makes it that much harder to open up. I also pray that I can turn to the Father for my hope and love. It hit hard to read that when we say we are fine, we are also saying we don’t need Him. But we really truly do.
I hide behind this mask at times too. If I was to let loose I don’t think others could handle it and I also don’t want to weigh people down. I know that God knows and I can honestly talk with Him about it. His word is so comforting. His word also gives good healthy boundaries for me and in my relationships. No, I’m not there and won’t be there until I’m with Him. I love this journey of life, learning to walk closer with Him. I love the book and bible study as it helps me draw closer to God.
Thanks, Becky
I’m really bad at saying “I’m fine” when I really am not. It’s just that sometimes people will ask, but they really don’t care or they won’t let you get your entire thought and feelings out before they jump in with a solution. Sometimes, I just want you to listen to me, cry with me and/or pray with me. I don’t want your solution necessarily, just some compassion. God has given me a couple close sisters in Christ that will listen to me. It’s been hard to tear the walls down after living so long in the habit of answering “I’m fine”. God is faithful. He is giving me the grace to reach out to them. This book is speaking directly to me and my life. I can see parts of it interwoven in my childhood. Thank you Renee for writing it. I know I will come out of this journey with a confident heart in God. 🙂
“Could we take off the mask that we, especially as Christians, live the “fairy tale”? We are certainly blessed, in every circumstance guarded by the Father, but honestly, in the deepest parts, we aren’t fine.”
I wonder if by entertaining the lie that we are fine and running around trying to convince everyone else that we are as well, if this is a doorway for other lies to come to the party as well? If we are essentially living a lie called “fine”, then what’s to stop the enemy from convincing us of other lies as well in order to confuse us as to what is true and what is false? We are running from the truth because we believe a lie is prettier.
My biggest hindrance to telling people that I am a hot mess, is that part of my testimony is deliverance from severe depression and bitterness. When it snuck back into my life, I felt like if I admitted to my seeking friends that I was struggling again, that it would ruin my witness; that it would make them question God even more. In essence though, it’s me that questioned Him 🙁 The main thing that people have told me was my biggest witness to them has always been my authenticity…and yet I put that mask on in order to “apologize” for God really. Beth Moore said at a conference I went to that some of us are exhausted because we’ve been running around apologizing for God and that He just will not behave. lol. That resonated with me so much.
Also, nobody wants to be a “debbie downer” right? I want to be joyful and to bring joy to others…but when I am struggling, I have to be gracious towards myself the way that I am towards others, lay down that pride, and accept the current situation so that God can deal with me properly and with the Truth in His time. You know, I have robbed so many friends the opportunity of blessing me. I am so blessed when I am able to be an encouragement to others, but then I don’t allow them the opportunity to receive that same blessing through me.
Your comment is blessing my socks off!!! Thank you! I think you are so right on so many levels. Just love this 🙂
WOW! All of you ladies are amazing and brave. And I’m so grateful to be a part of this study.
I’m going to add a slightly different twist…I’ve been forgiven for 40 years now but have consistently struggled with condemnation, doubt and insecurity. Just in the last couple of days God is showing me where the condemnation is originating from…from the sexual sin, the choices I have made in my life. I have no doubt that God has forgiven each and every sin, but I have not been set free from the condemnation of these choices! Now Jesus is doing a new thing in me that only He can do. I don’t understand it all, but I’m trusting Jesus and following. It’s a process. I’m taking off my mask and telling all of you in the hope that it will help you do the same.
@Kristy. When I was a baby Christian, just 6 months along, I did not know any other Christians or have a church to go to. I prayed all that time for Christian friends and God miraculously brought 3 Christian ladies to my front door one day. I also started going to the church they went to. God is faithful. I pray for deliverance and freedom for all of us.
I can relate to many of your posts and your hurts, and I wish there was a way to give you each an encouraging word and a big sister hug!! We are all family here, aren’t we girls! It’s good to have some incredible sweet sisters here. Why do we go around hurting? And why don’t people realize we are hurting? I am in family crises right now and honestly very few people have turned to help me.
Right now in my family, my parents are divorcing after 38 years of marriage, and my husband is physically ill. I’ve taken a week off take care of him. He just returned to work today. He is not 100% yet. I am isolated right now from my parents, because of their betrayal from one another, and the choice they are making. my heart hurts so much lately. I have a hard time believing this is God’s will. I’m having a difficult time trusting him. Thank you for your study Renee! And for your book and for bringing all of us here together. God bless each of you this beautiful day!
Praying for you right now, Emily!
thank you so much, Melanie!
This post really hit home with me on today. As I drove into work this morning, I told God that I can’t continue on this way. I feel like the weight of the world is sitting on my shoulders and I have no where to turn. I know that all things are possible with Him, but when everything around you is spinning out of control and you have no one to turn to this is SO HARD! I pray that from chapter 2 I take away how to take the mask off and find someone to talk to.
I feel the same way Candie! You are welcome to talk to me! 🙂
Oh, this is such TRUTH. I sometimes feel I am the walking poster child of having portrayed a life of success and happiness when really the behind the mask, was a very hurt, scared little girl who needed to build up a superhuman “exterior” to show the world how “fine” I was despite my inner turmoil. This study is helping me so much….to finally take off the mask of implied perfection and show who I really am– a woman with a wounded heart, carrying around burdens of shame, blame and extreme insecurities despite my “mask of fitness” I tried to cling to in order to hide my pain. I am evolving so much and these words are just leaping into my heart and giving me the courage I need to be fully reconciled to Christ! Thank you so much, Renee…and all of you ladies willing to share and bear your souls!
I just got done reading chapter 2. I would love to say how much God has spoken to me in it and all of that. But unfortunately I still have a really hard time believing that I am worth anything, that I am worth the effort on His part. Today has been an extrememly down day for me. These days used to only be once in a while, but they are more and more often now. I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed but I feel like He isn’t hearing me. Like God isn’t there anymore. There was a sermon at church yesterday about using your talents for God, during the alter time I couldn’t help but think the whole time “I have no talents” “I have nothing to give”. I guess that’s what got me down the path I am at today. I’m just at the point where I feel like I am helpless, like there is no more hope. I was once this peppy, bubbly outgoing girl and now I just feel like I am this rain cloud who doesn’t even want to get out of bed most mornings. The only person I have ever opened up to about this stuff is my husband, which tends to make things worse because he just gets frustrated with me. And I don’t really trust anyone else because anyone who I have confided in tends to be untrustworthy. My husband says give it all to God, but the thing with that is….I don’t know how to let go. I feel like I let it go, then I have a day like today and I take everything back. I just feel so broken beyond repair.
You are not beyond repair. God wants to heal your broken heart. As long as there is a God there is always hope. I pray that you will find hope in Christ and that the next time you go to the alter you will leave all those burdens, fears, worries, doubts and defeats at His feet and leave them there. I pray that you will not go back to pick them up, but you will continue to trust God and allow Him to do a mighty work in your life. You are loved with an everlasting love.
So neat that you said you are loved with an Everlasting Love. I had begun my post and said the same to Roxanne but had to do something else and then I came back to complete the post. After I posted, I saw your post. God really does want each of us to know we are loved with an Everlasting Love! Blessings!
Roxanne, my heart aches for you. You are so precious to Jesus. You are loved with an Everlating Love! As Renee says in chapter 2 “we are worth His love because He chose to give it to us”. I have experienced that feeling of “not good enough” also. But as I was rereading a sentence I highlighted “Jesus wants to help you see what is going on in your heart and what you are struggling with that is eroding your security and confidence” p. 40, The Lord brought to my mind the words of a hymn “Open my eyes that I may see glimpses of truth Thou has for me”. I always thought about Jesus being the Truth I would see, but I now see this truth is also the truth about me that I don’t even know (Like I am valuable). And as Jesus reveals the truth to me about myself He will set me free because He is The Truth! Ask Him to reveal the truth about You that you do not now see. Praying for you.
It reminds me that if I wear a mask I am not being open to not only others but to God. To expose the deepest part of my fears, disappointments, hurts, failures is to be completely surrendered to Him and His will for me. Then His wonderful love and grace can cover me completely and comfort and heal my deepest need and produces change in me. Maybe no one else changes but I do and it draws me closer to Him.
I really think we say we’re fine because we know that’s what other people expect. Anyone who asks how you are, as they are walking away from you, isn’t looking for a real response – they expect to hear “fine” or “okay”. The person at the drive through window who asks how you are when they hand you your food – they only expect to hear “fine” before you pull away. The people at church who ask how you are, but keep walking and don’t even listen when you respond – you know they clearly didn’t care. Sometimes even family members do the same thing, when they call and ask how you are, but then go right into their story about their day. Too often, people aren’t really looking for a real response, they’re only asking people because they have been taught that they should – no one ever teaches them to stop and listen for the response (or for that matter, to care about the response!). I would be much more willing to share (in general) if people would just listen to me when they ask that question – but the vast majority of people don’t want to listen, they don’t really even want a response, they just want to tell you what they want to say. May that not be how I turn out, or what I teach my kids to do!
My comment is a prayer; That God through His Holy Spirit will fill me to over flowing with the living water He offered Sam and all of us .That I’ll know Him and His love for me, .In reading chpts !-2 I can relate to
all the fears, doubts and feelings of being less than all He’s created me to be .never felt loved as a child.
even as a wife and mother. Now I’m a senior, still seeking, longing, wanting. As I continue to study His word which I do, and as I join with others, I pray He’ll open the eyes of my ….our heart to accept the love He offers so freely God Bless
Good prayer Martha.
I am so thankful that I started this study. Reading everyone’s comments has helped me.
I always tell people that the smile you see on my face or when i’m walking like everything is “just fine”, it’s not me, it is God in me. We carry so many weights on our shoulders…guilt, shame, loneliness, bitterness, insecurity, hatred, pride, and the list goes. We go to God and ask Him to help us with these weights everyday. What if we actually put these words around our neck and carry them so when people see us they will know we are not fine. Let’s choose to put weights around our necks like love, joy, peace, forgiveness, fulfillment…
This too shall pass
John 16:33…..In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.
Be a Blessing
Part of my problem with not opening up to people is because I’m not fine, but it’s my own fault. Because of decisions I’ve made, my world is upside down. After two years of my friends trying to tell me what I need to hear, they’re fed up. I’m trying. I really am. But because my problems are because of choices I’ve made, I feel like it’s up to me to fix it.
Wow,
This Chapter 2 really touches home as well. I know this is helping me to see how my life is changing and how I am evolving & maturing in my walk with God..So many things are simliar to my situation in my past and Present. Thank you and God Bless
Hi Angela I know when I read this it is like the are talking right to me. I ‘m blessed to have found this study and I thank God everyday. God Bless you all Amen
Sunday the pastor talked about healing. He talked about physical healing. This week God has spoken to me about inner healing. He has shown me it is safe to take off the mask and allow Him to heal old hurts, remove resentments, show me how HE has been at work all along. Thank you for a safe place to share. Even my best sister in Christ friend is not one with whom I can share everything without condemnation and judgementalness. Things that are a part of my past with so many christian sisters. Thank you all for your honesty and the unconditional love of Christ you show. God is at work, offering me hope, healing, dreams, blessings. I need to face my fears, to trust Him who already knows it all, has forgiven me and forgotten it, while I hold on to the shame of poor choices and sin and wonder what if. I know the Bible verses. My mom taught me them as a child, and I have read and reread many of them, depending on them and God to see me through so much, and He has never failed me, even when I failed Him. My paraphrase of Romans 8:28 is from Clint Eastwood’s movie. God takes the good, the bad and the ugly of our lives and continually is working it together for our good and HIS glory. I know it for a fact in my head, now if I can just get it all the way into those dark recesses of my heart. It will happen. I believe.
We have all been through our ups and downs. I have been through 2 divorces and I death of my husband 3 yrs ago. The Lord never gives us any more to carry than what he knows we can carry. I have a deep feeling of understanding for all the comments and I know the mask is a wall that we have all put up to protect ourselves. We need to shout and let the wall fall down and let God into our lives so he can help carry us and protect us as we journey down the path. I have nursed for over 38 yrs and watched all my family die. I understand what grief is and I have done my share of crying as well. Jane I know words can not take the pain away but stop and be still and close your eyes and let your mind go. The Lord will come to you and I will say my pray to you that you will be made stronger and able to deal with the hurt and pain. I am very sensitive to others feelings and I know what you are going through. I have been through it as well. I will ask the Lord to come in to your life and be with you now and heal you from the scars of the hurt the situation is causing you.
I can pray for you over the phone as well — I can help all of us become closer to God — I meditate and pray every day and I ask the Lord to come to into my life to help me as I journey — If any one wants further assistance I am able to be reached. I have been reborn and have the gift of healing in my hands to help people. I have been able to help people as I go out into the world and they are amazed at how much better they feel after I have prayed for them. You may contact me if you so desire. [email protected] I am glad I am in the class and If I can do anything to help anyone let me know. I have lost all my family and the Lord has helped me overcome the obstacles that I have had to endure.
You will rise above Jane as well as any one else who is going through a tough time. I will pray for all of you and thanks Renee for the wonderful class.
I’ve been learning, through the years, who I can be honest with (a few). Don’t use “I’m fine” much unless it”s true, but have learned not everyone is willing to go to the heart level & step into the pain & offer hope. Thankfully, I’ve learned God ALWAYS is with me & is waiting for me to run to Him & pour my heart out to Him. As I answered the ? number 6, rereading Sam’s story, Jesus had to go through Samaria – He could have avoided it but He chose to minister the gift of salvation. That speaks to my heart, saying that He always wants to be with us – not matter how bad the hurt, He IS there, longing to offer hope & healing. My heart’s desire is that His springs of living water flow through my life and compel others to “come see a Man”. My heart goes out to previous commentors and your deep, deep pain; praying for Jesus comfort & healing for you. Have been in some of the same situations and experienced His healing balm.
It’s not that I can’t open up and spill my guts, it’s just that sometimes there is not enough time or the circumstances are inappropriate like at a party. So having a variety of responses is good, like I’m struggling or it’s hard but God is good. Life is so full of ups and downs, too, sometimes it’s hard to pick what to say; dinner flopped but school went okay, grading is harder than taking tests, cleaning never gets all done but I’m learning to appreciate each piece, emotions are hard, relationships are a joy when I don’t mess up, I’m weak but God is strong, see what I mean? Too much to speak about in less than an hour and who but a counselor wants to listen that long? Ouch, I just uncovered a sore spot to pray about. Thanks for a safe place, I’m going to sign off now and work this one through with Jesus.
I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder, ADD, and bipolar disorder. I was on leave from my job for 6 weeks and for the past 2 weeks have been on half days. I have told my doctor I should win an Emmy for my acting. Daily I tell people, when I get out of the house and see other people, that I am fine. I act as if everything is fine in my life and I have no troubles or worries. Even at work, where I have been absent for a month and a half, I put on a smile and act as if I feel fine, although my insides are in tremendous turmoil. But it is amazing to me how few people at work have even spoke to me since I have been back. The stigma of mental health disorders is everywhere. I would have never thought I would be treated as I am by my co-workers. But even more amazing is my own brother who lives less than a half of a mile away from me has not spoken to me since my doctor put me on medical leave. He is embarrassed that his little sister has a mental disorder… Because of the way I have been treated is a large part of the reason I respond to “How are you?” With a smile and ” I am fine.”
Hi April, sorry for the pain of others’ awkwardness. It’s got to be like salt in a wound. You’ve got a lot on your plate, I’m glad you can talk with your doctor. Two things that really help me fight depression and anxiety are keeping a gratitude journal (writing down things I am thankful for) and memorizing scripture (praying it too) in large chunks. God be with you!
Hi April,
Thank you so much for sharing! The stigma that mental illness brings with it is especially close to my heart. My daughter who is 14 was also diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder this year. I have another daughter who also has ADHD and I have suffered with Depression on and off for most of my life. I know exactly what you mean when you say your acting could win you an Emmy. I remember at one point this year standing in church just days after I had to check my daughter into a psychiatric hospital for suicidal issues and smiling and telling people “I’m fine” and “she’s fine”. The possibility of increased rejection just wasn’t worth the risk of being honest. I don’t have many people in my life who I can open up to without being “punished” in one way or another. I have found journaling to be helpful. I usually end up writing to God, like prayer on paper. I think writing it out slows me down long enough to hear Him speak to my heart and it feels like a real conversation. There I can be open and honest with God and myself about my struggles. I have since made one other friend who I can share openly with as well. I am asking God to bring enough healing and confidence so that I can “drop the mask” with more people. I am praying the same for you today 🙂
I’m sorry to hear that you are constantly rejected for you and your daughter’s struggles. I think that for most people, myself included, we don’t know how to respond to something so heavy, so it’s easier to “reject” the person or family rather than try to help. But I’m realizing that God doesn’t expect us to completely take on or take away the trials of others. Rather, a willingness to listen, and cultivating a heart of prayer and compassion can go pretty far. Life may be a lot more bearable if we learn to take our cues from God instead of what we feel like doing. Thanks so much for sharing, you are in my prayers!
April, I wasn’t going to post anything today until I read your post. I have spent the last 12 years dealing with mental health issues and totally understand the stigma that comes with them. It is awful. I was diagnosed bipolar but recently they have decided it is chronic depression. I have just come out of another major clinical depression. I have been hospitalized a few times because of suicidal ideations. I also have severe anxiety. My life can be a mess at times. But if you ask, I am always “fine”! There are very few people I talk to about this because I have suffered so much rejection by people after they find out about me. I am a new Christian and I have been fortunate that I can talk to the pastor at my church. I haven’t told people there yet about my problems but I am hoping to be able to make some new friends and someday find some real Christian people who won’t reject me. It’s still hard for me to understand why god gave me this burden to carry but I am doing my best to turn to Him now rather than being angry with him. I hope this new way of thinking will help bring me some peace. I will be praying for you and the hope that someday people will change their attitudes about mental illness.
I will be praying for you! I too suffer from depression, and I can tell you, people don’t understand it as much as you explain it to them! It’s not a easy thing to carry around and have. It’s like a big elephant on your back at times!
My friend,You are never rejected by God, and you aren’t rejected here!
Keep posting! This is a safe place. ♥
Peace to you!
April, I read your words and you would think I wrote them myself. April I am so sorry that you have had to deal with all of that but please know you are definitely not alone. I have come to understand that either people turn away because they are scared and/or are ignorant and do not understand. Briefly tell you about me. A teacher for 15 years with a passion but due to circumstances that brought on tremendous stress, even though I would put on the mask at work the physical symptoms got me and I had to take a leave of absence. My principal even told me she would have never believed it had she not seen the physical symptoms herself. I told her when you suffer with this type of illness you learn to hide it well. When I went back coworkers acted much as they did with you, one even went to blatantly ignore me (and she used to talk to me all the time). his only added to my feelings of not being good enough and being defective. Needless to say it got worse and had to take another leave. This time I lost my job and was devastated. I have three brothers and never heard from any of them when I went in for treatment and was away for 5 weeks. I didn’t want to live anymore. I have been diagnosed with TRD (treatment resistant depression and anxiety. Since I don’t have a choice in the matter on whether I should be alive or not I just keep doing the next right thing. I am still dealing with symptoms but as a result of taking action even if I was just going through the motions, I just was offered a job in a place where what I do, my passion, my gifts, and my desire to be an example of who God is in my life is going to be of use. I was even offered more than I was making before. Now that is totally God. Whenever I feel down, or less than, or incapable I just tell myself that these are feelings and they are not facts, that feelings come and go and ask God for the strength to keep moving forward and doing whatever I can to make a difference in the lives of the people He puts in front of me. It stinks majorly and sometimes I just cry on my way home but I keep remembering the scripture that says that joy comes in the morning. You have found women who understand and even though they are not right by your side they are there, we are there for you. The one friend who truly understand me and whom I call in my deepest darkest hours lives 1500 miles from me but she is my life line. Thank you for sharing.
Norma, Emily, April and others – thank you for sharing. I too have been a teacher for 17 years and for the past three years have had to take medicaal leaves of absence due to severe depression and anxiety and panic attacks – so debilitating and destroying my family. Have been out pretty much this whole school year due to another hospitalization and so suicidal. It’s hard. When the lies have been there for 40 years they are so ingrained. I am starting to believe Jesus loves ME and is for Me but a moment by moment struggle. I, we, need a support group around us. I isolate so badly. I have barely been living. I know that there is no drug, no doctor, no counselor, that can cure me, but I now believe JESUS can! My days are hard still, but I want HIs truth; not to live in the darkeness and despair anymore. The pain is debilitating I know. I am also “medicaation resistant”; done electric shock therapy and all the drugs and combinations to no avail. It can seem hopeless but I choose to believe God has me alive for a reason. I need to say it aloud and verbally rebuke the enemy who wants us in depression and isolaation. I will be praying for those of us that struggle with mental illness….. may God show us how to live in His light and victory, and give us His daily strength to make the hard choices of getting up, showering, getting out, making a phone call. He knows. He loves us so much. Thank you Jesus.
I was so hesitant to post my response yesterday and was amazed at God’s goodness when I got on here this morning and saw all of the replies! I’m so grateful for your kind words and being a safe place to “drop the mask”. God is so good to remind me that I am not alone. Praying for all of you ladies this morning!
Hi April And Christina and everyone
you are not alone I have lived with all this and some more things going on 20 years and have used not telling how many different meds. I use to be ashamed of it but now I try to just let what people say and the way they treat me slide off me. its not always easy but its not my problem people are stupid about some things. I have bee treated like I had some kind of contagions disease and everything. it hurts to the core of your being. But if people want to act like that you don’t need them in your life anyway. It does get better when you finial get on the right meds but You will still have good days and bad days. I have days where I can’t even go out of the house because I’m so scared on shaking so bad. Just try and find people who even through the don’t fully understand they still want to help. My phone # is 919-452-1078 and my email is [email protected] I also have a facebook page under angela taylor so anytime you are anyone else need a friend to vent to or just cry I will always be here, I know where you are coming from. If I can’t do anything else I can listen for hours if need be.
Remember you are not alone in this God loves you and in Christ Jesus love we do too.
Angela, are you from Goldsboro, North Carolina? My husband is in the Air Force and we were stationed at Seymour Johnson AFB in Goldsboro a few years back. I recognized that “919” because I have the same cell phone from when we lived there and it’s also a 919 number 🙂
Hi Lauea
No I’m from Chapel Hill / Hillsborough N.C. it is about 2 hours from Goldsboro. I went through Goldboro on Wednesday when I went to see my grandson, he lives in Newbern N.C. about 3 hours from me. Wher do you live now?
We are stationed in Minot, North Dakota currently lol. I grew up in Dallas, Texas but God’s had us all over the place
HI everyone one question how do we get our picture in the little square in the conner?
I’ve been broken and shaken by many people close to my heart – through blood and circumstantial acquaintance. I’ve literally and figuratively declared God as my HIDING PLACE….where I am safe….safe from other’s opinions, safe from other’s comparisons, safe from rumors and gossip….protected.
I am discovering the importance of the “body of Christ” in the process of this, because it feels that I can’t be all God has created me to be without becoming the matching “PUZZLE PIECE” in another’s life…who may need to know about my brokenness in order to mend their own. And I just may need them to mend mine.
Everything that I’ve gone through may be for “JUST A TIME AS THIS”. Praying for courage to conquer the fear of “BEING EXPOSED” for the sake of God’s ministry through me.
Amen Pillar!
I too try to hide and say everything is fine. I am a single mom of two girls, one with a genetic disorder causing constant pain in her life. It is so hard knowing her father is just 1.5 hrs away but does nothing to help. Then God brings this man into my life, wonderful but with baggage nobody would want. I fought God, let this man in and thought he was the one. Five months later I receive a totally unexpected break-up. There are days I just want to hide at home and not let anyone see the pain I am going through watching my daughter suffer and while my heart tries to heal. My friends seem like they want to be there with me, but there are days I think it’s easier to say I am fine and walk away. I just have to remember to trust in God.
I’m also broken. So broken in fact that I’m forcing myself to read this book and believe that HE is still with me. I have prayed for healing for a long time but haven’t received it. I have so much ugliness inside that I want to let go but I cant. I also tell people that “I’m fine”, why? Because I have found that the very people that I should trust and have trusted are the ones that betray me. How can I be authentic and tell people the truth when I do not trust them in the first place?
I am in the same exact place you are in. In fact I have been skimming through all the posts just to find one that was similar to the way I feel and happened to stop at yours. I pray that you will find your healing through this study.
Anytime someone asks how I am doing, I always say I am doing fine or well or great no matter what is going on in my life. There are many things going on that I won’t get into right now, and my life is not fine right now. I think people expect that response because they don’t want to take the time to really listen to what you are going through. Sure, you can talk to your closest friends about how you are doing, but you should be able to talk to anyone. We should all share our pains and joys in life with each other. I think we should start telling the truth when someone asks how we are and see just how many people really care.
Thanks Melanie and Renee. I always said that Fine means Feelings Inside Never Expressed… but I liked yours as well. Sometimes i hesistate because are people asking because they really want to know or are they just saying it as in a brief conversation? I am learning to discern who really cares about me, little old me. I love he paragraph on page 43.. Jesus cares and He wants to heal our hearts. the Bible has one occuring theme… where is your heart? Is it full of love as Jesus wants it to be or is it full of sin? Is going to follow God or do your own thing? Thanks again for the blog.
After reading some of the posts, here, I’m feeling a lot better; like, I’m not the only one.
I’m struggling with a “dream” (a calling), and I feel like I have no support. Many feel like I’m too old to pursue it, others think I’m in some “phase” of life that will eventually pass, and some have outright told me that I’ll never see this dream realized. Even some of my closest friends made light of it and offered negative comments, so I slowly distanced myself from them. I struggled with doubt, and low confidence in pursuing this dream in early adulthood, especially after my own mother ridiculed me for having it. I admit that God has allowed me to cross paths with experts in the field of my “dream” who have encouraged me to pursue it, but my confidence level is so low that I’m beginning to think that those experts are kooks!
While I’m not at the point of being honest with others about how I’m doing, I am now able to be honest with God about that. (I even told Him, this morning, that I think those experts are kooks!) How do I believe, I mean really believe, God’s promises it seems like doors of opportunity to realize my “dream” are continuously being slammed in my face, or not even opened at all? I told God, this morning, that I’m having a hard time believing His promises. I wouldn’t dare tell that to any Christians that I know, because I’m afraid they’ll view me as a child of the devil, himself. I feel comfortable sharing my feelings with this on-line group. Thanks, Renee, for heeding God’s call to create this outlet for me and so many others.
It saddens me reading all the hurt we hide from others… how we feel that we have to be our families’ rock. I’m going to be honest here because this study is about being honest… I’m not honest with God, my family, friends or myself, so here I go. March was a very hard month for me. I am in a depressed state of mind. I am a mother of 4 and how could I not be fine for them? I would get home from work do the basics and lay in bed… allowing their father to take care of their need, which in turn makes me feel worse because they’re my babies I’m suppose to hug them and take care of them when they’re crying out for me. I hide what I am feeling from the world and you look at me and everything’s ok. My son, who passed away when he was 6 months old, was born in March and although I think/act like I have gotten over that lose… the truth is I have not… that hurt I still carry on me and I feel like it has affected me from being the GREAT mother he made me to be. I’m so BLESSED to have signed up for this study and I pray this will give us ALL the healing we so desire. I pray we tear down our walls and be honest so He can sustain us and heal our hearts so when we’re asked “How are you?” we can say with all Honesty as daughters of the King “We’re not only fine, we’re HEALED!!” Ladies I pray for the enemy to let go of this stronghold he has on us and our hearts so that we may live in the PEACE He left us. In Jesus’ Name I pray… AMEN!!
My husband left me for another woman and I wanted to save our marriage. He filed, & we have been divorced over a year now. The pain is still there and I don’t understand why this had to happen. I am 53 and never thought I would be living in an apartment and trying to find myself. I am not fine and days that I am hopeless. The rejection hurts and trust is an issue too. Please pray for me.
praying now
God is a healer. I pray that He will heal you and show that you can trust Him.
I’m also going through divorce… There’s been so many hurts and pains because of his infidelity. I have three children that are hurting as well right now and that’s the worse part. To see your children suffer for their dad’s wrong choices. With so many other things financial,emotional and phychological issues, it’s just too much! The feeling of loneliness and pain and hurts and rejection..who can save us? Thank’s be to Jesus who is our healer! Our redeemer, friend,savior,teacher. He is our refuge, rock and deliverer. He is our provider, protector. Our God who is faithful and true to his promises to us. The one who will never leave us nor forasake.I pray that you will choose to believe God’s promises to you. I pray that you will allow your self to trust Him and you will see that He alone is our hope. The only true source of real joy. You will know how to be whole again in Jesus! Ask, seek and knock He’s ben waiting for you!
I am so grateful to have friends who can see right through my “I’m fine” mask! But not all of us have those people in our lives. I pray that God will bring just the right person into each of our lives who can lovingly ask us to take off the mask and be real with them…people who won’t accept the standard “I’m fine” response…who really want to hear what’s going on with us and will walk that journey with us.
My experience has also been that even if we have people who really want to know how we are doing, trusting enough to tell them the truth can be so difficult. So I also pray that God will allow us to trust him with our hearts, and in turn trust the people He brings into our lives.
Thanks for these wonderful words from Melanie today and for a great study, Renee!
This post spoke to my heart in such a real way. So often I’ve sat on that park bench or in the church pew and have had every one of those thoughts and feelings. So many days I have been completely overwhelmed and have to remind myself that His grace is sufficient for me. But, amen, His grace IS sufficient for me! What a promise from the One who does meet my every need…oftentimes not in the way I would like or expect…but He does meet my every need, no matter how great or small.