I couldn’t silence the words used to describe how much I’d disappointed her.
An email filled with criticism had slipped into my inbox that week and it hurt my feelings … for days.
The shooting pain of failure, regret, and flaw-focused thinking struck like lightening through my heart.
That one email set off a storm of self-doubting emotions. It’s amazing what one person’s criticism can do.
When my children or someone criticizes me as a mom, I’ll start doubting myself as a mom. When someone criticizes me as a friend, it will doubt my ability to be a good friend. Ten people could say something nice to me or about me, but what I will remember most is that one person’s criticism. How about you?
After being tossed and turned by the winds of my people-pleasing tendencies, I finally called a friend to process my emotions and the harsh email. With wisdom she told me:
“Renee, you’ll never be perfect. And if you ever get to where you are, you will be all alone!”
Boy, she was right!
I am not perfect.
I’ll never be perfect.
And if I ever get there, I will be all alone.
Sweet friend, I don’t know if you ever feel like a failure ~ completely imperfect and full of flaws – like I do sometimes. But here is what I do know ~
Jesus was the only perfect Person to walk this earth… yet He was constantly criticized.
But, guess what? Nowhere is it recorded in scriptures that Jesus ever doubted Himself. No matter what, He stayed secure in His purpose and confident in His calling.
That day, my friend spoke reality into my reeling feelings. And God used her wisdom to reminded me: Jesus depended solely on His Father’s approval.
What His Father said {about Him} was all that mattered {to Him}. And that is what He wants for you, too.
No matter what, God loves you and He is there for you… not to criticize you but to encourage you.
- He is there in the midst of your sometimes lonely, imperfect life… when your disappointments and failures leave you empty and make you doubt your worth and purpose.
- He is there when you’re going through the motions, aware of what needs to be done but afraid you won’t be able to do it all.
- He is there when you’re criticizing yourself and questioning whether you have what it takes to be a godly woman.
He sees you. He notices all you do and He knows what you need. Today He is pursuing you with the gift of His perfect love — love that is patient and kind, love that keeps no record of your wrongs, love that won’t ever give up on you!
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Thank you for your message today. I struggle with self doubt and feeling imperfect. I am a people pleaser BIG time and don’t like it. Today’s message was a great reminder for me to please only my heavenly Father.
Wow, I can’t process this devotion in one day. This is one I will use for the rest of the week just to absorb some of what is saying. I wish I had the confidence I need for myself. I am the “Sam” in this story always looking for acceptance from earthly people instead of seeking it through my Heavenly Father. Thanks for this great devotion today.
I would love to have less doubt and a more confident heart! Thank you for sharing Words to help with that. God bless you!
I have this conversation with myself almost every week. Generally, when I enter a room or when I am involved in a group conversation, it seems the people there look past me or through me and don’t respond to what I add to the conversation. I cannot count the number of times I’ve come home to tell my husband, “well, it happened again. I was invisible today……..” I have to remind myself constantly that Jesus loves me. He sees me. His plan is perfect and he is orchestrating His plan for each of us. I am also encouraged and hopeful when I read a devotion like this one. Thank you, Renee, for another timely reminder. Bless you.
wow and wow, just love the words in the post today! what a thought….Jesus was the only perfect Person to walk this earth… yet He was constantly criticized….. thank you for this
I love this…I am so hard on myself sometimes and need reminders that failure happens and we can’t be perfect.
I struggle everyday with not being confident. I am single again and have lost 175 lbs and still feel imperfect and no self confidence. I’ve been waiting 6 years for God to bring a God fearing Christian man into my life and nothing is happening. One thing I am confident of however, is that the Lord loves me no matter what. I am His child and He only makes beautiful things. I must learn to be content with this life and with the Lord as my Heavenly Husband!
Your message today is such an inspiring one. I don’t want my feelings of inadequacy to overpower me. I know the many flaws that I have but I also know that God is perfect and his love is perfect. I know that through the Holy Spirit I can feel his Love and am confident in that.
Sometimes I find myself wanting to spend time away from my family, if only for an evening to gain control over my sense of self-worth. It never works. I come home seeing the sink over flowing and socks everywhere. I immediately am filled with thoughts that I am not doing my job as a parent raising my kids to take care of themselves. All selfish and all about me…. I have some work to do on me.
The part when Renee wrote “Jesus was the only perfect Person to walk this earth… yet He was constantly criticized.” reminded me that if the society criticizes A Perfect God, they will surely criticize me. I cannot walk around on this earth hoping to please everyone to receive the approval of everyone. I really identify with Sam, the woman at the well, in so many ways. I know most women are probably ashamed to admit that we all can relate to Sam in various ways. She had nothing left because she had given away her all to various people and distractions that she thought she was required to give to so that in return, she would receive their love and acceptance. How disappointed are we when we do the same thing? I’m reminded, once again, to give only to God, even when I feel like I have nothing left to give because I have a river that will never run dry. Only when I”m totally empty of “self,” He can fill me up and make me whole again. I’m glad that I’m not perfect but I serve a perfect God.
Just to say that it is so true that just one person can really hurt say but also it is so true we can trust that God will always be at our side. Thank you For your words very beautiful devotional. Because as a Pastor’s Wife we hear so much negative stuff and we may feel alone. But God is always on our side.
Jerimiah 29:11 is my favorite scripture. Learning to believe it for my life was a catalyst for changing me. God has taught me who I am in Jesus…the Holy Spirit leads, guides, and teaches me in the ways I should go and how I think. Staying in the Word and learning from other Christian women has helped me so much.
I thank God that today my confidence is not in myself, or my ability; but through Him I can have the appropriate self love. Loving Jesus, and letting him love me back is how confidence has grown in me.
Thank You Lord!
I am a busy mom with two little ones who works full-time outside the home while my husband is working long hours in residency; your blog is an inspiration to me! It reminds me that God is always with me even on the long and lonely “single-mommy” days. Thank you for your encouraging words!
I am amazed how you speak right to my heart. I have struggled with insecurities all of my llife and honestly thought I was alone in that. Your writings encourage me and point me to the truth in Gods word. Thank you so much for your ministry. The Lord has used you to speak hope into my life. Quotes from you are even speaking louder than my insecurities at times. That is such a sweet blessing!
I struggle daily with loneliness, insecurity, and a plethora of other things. Funny thing is I feel most lonely at home with four little hands who I train each day and in the house of God where I worship every week. The two places I should never be lonely. I am in a constant battle with myself of being a good person, a shining example of God to everyone along with being a good wife, mother, sister, housekeeper, chef, and all the other monotonous tasks I perform each and every day. None of them being done they way I think they should be done. Your devotional today is just what I needed to read. Thank you for it! Can’t wait for the devo!
The pressure we put on ourselves to do everything and be everything is daunting. We set ourselves up for feelings of failure, not being loved, not being good enough. I am learning……..and it has been a long, slow process….that if God is the only person I please and the only person who loves me just the way I am, that is enough. Everything else is icing on the cupcake. This doesn’t mean that I don’t try to help others or that I don’t care or it doesn’t hurt when someone criticizes me. It means that I try to daily live in the love of Christ. He is my strength, He is my security, He just IS. I am trying to simplify and downsize so that I have less “stuff” to focus on and more time to pursue Him.
Yes we can know Jesus love, but to feel it is something I really struggle with. The Proverbs 31 devotions are a true blessing. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for this – I really needed it today. I feel so very unworthy and this made me feel loved.
Renee,
I am new to Proverbs 31 ministries, and just subscribed yesterday. Your post today was the first one, and I’m glad. It is also the first thing I selected from my inbox this morning, amidst all the junky emails.
I definitely struggle with identity and self-doubt issues at times. I turned 50 this year, and have had a lot to reflect on, with many family events and milestones that have happened just recently. I have a lot on my plate, and I don’t know how everything will turn out. I’m in the job market as well, and if anything can smack you in the self-doubt area, that’s it. I am concerned/frustrated/scared much of the time, and am trying to be faithful and wait on God’s timing. Sometimes I wonder when my turn will come, and if things haven’t worked out because I’m not a “good person”. The things we let ourselves think, right?
So…thank you for your encouraging words today. I’ll be back.
Laurie