I couldn’t silence the words used to describe how much I’d disappointed her.
An email filled with criticism had slipped into my inbox that week and it hurt my feelings … for days.
The shooting pain of failure, regret, and flaw-focused thinking struck like lightening through my heart.
That one email set off a storm of self-doubting emotions. It’s amazing what one person’s criticism can do.
When my children or someone criticizes me as a mom, I’ll start doubting myself as a mom. When someone criticizes me as a friend, it will doubt my ability to be a good friend. Ten people could say something nice to me or about me, but what I will remember most is that one person’s criticism. How about you?
After being tossed and turned by the winds of my people-pleasing tendencies, I finally called a friend to process my emotions and the harsh email. With wisdom she told me:
“Renee, you’ll never be perfect. And if you ever get to where you are, you will be all alone!”
Boy, she was right!
I am not perfect.
I’ll never be perfect.
And if I ever get there, I will be all alone.
Sweet friend, I don’t know if you ever feel like a failure ~ completely imperfect and full of flaws – like I do sometimes. But here is what I do know ~
Jesus was the only perfect Person to walk this earth… yet He was constantly criticized.
But, guess what? Nowhere is it recorded in scriptures that Jesus ever doubted Himself. No matter what, He stayed secure in His purpose and confident in His calling.
That day, my friend spoke reality into my reeling feelings. And God used her wisdom to reminded me: Jesus depended solely on His Father’s approval.
What His Father said {about Him} was all that mattered {to Him}. And that is what He wants for you, too.
No matter what, God loves you and He is there for you… not to criticize you but to encourage you.
- He is there in the midst of your sometimes lonely, imperfect life… when your disappointments and failures leave you empty and make you doubt your worth and purpose.
- He is there when you’re going through the motions, aware of what needs to be done but afraid you won’t be able to do it all.
- He is there when you’re criticizing yourself and questioning whether you have what it takes to be a godly woman.
He sees you. He notices all you do and He knows what you need. Today He is pursuing you with the gift of His perfect love — love that is patient and kind, love that keeps no record of your wrongs, love that won’t ever give up on you!
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Sometimes We Need More Than a Blog Post
Do you ever feel alone or unnoticed? Need a friend to walk with you and help you see how much you are loved, pursued and created for a purpose? If so, A Confident Heart may be just the book for you!
Looking for the perfect summer devotional? Each day my new A Confident Heart Devotional: 60 Days to Stop Doubting Yourself, offers a personal, powerful and practical way to live in the security of God’s promises right where you are!
I come from a Christian family. I was raised in a southern Baptist home and have known the Lord since I was a young child. I have never doubted him or thought he has given up on me. I have 4 sisters and one brother. I’ve never lost the Lord, but I do feel like I am such a disappointment to Him and my family. My mother is a very godly woman and all my sisters and my brother are such good Christian followers and leaders. I have no doubts in the Lord, but I have lots of doubts about myself. I feel very insignificant in my family and in my faith. I want to find a way to feel better about myself and my Christian life.
Renee,
Lovely message just when I needed it! This morning I forgot, again, that I am not alone. It is always a pleasure to open my email and find your devotions. So often they speak directly to my heart. 🙂
So very thankful we serve the God of 2nd chances!
While I can readily admit that I am far from perfect there is no denying that His timing is! These beautiful words of wisdom, encouragement, and truth could not have come at a more perfect time for me…definitely a God-incidence!
Confidence is such a daily struggle in all areas of my life. I want to be confident in who God wants me to be.
I really love your devotion. I struggle deeply with insecurities. Too often I let fer and doubt creep in and soon I feel so alone. I could be in a room full of people and yet feel like I’m by myself dwelling in my insecurities. I need to be reminded that He is always with me and that He loves me unconditionally no matter what I do. I just need to fully believe this and trust that He will carry me through my tribulations.
While I’ve moved beyond a lot of the self-doubt and taking things to heart, words and actions (or lack thereof) do still sometimes sting. Thanks for offering this giveaway. I’m in search of a new devotional book, and this will be perfect to keep me from sliding back to my self-doubting ways.
Thanks for this. I really needed at this time in my life.
Thank you for the reminder that what the Father says about me is all that should matter to me. I long and pray to be a woman who fully knows who she is in Christ. I need Him to remind me every day and I am thankful that He never grows tired of doing that!
I want to share an unusual testimony. If I may. I want to thank you for this post. God works in amazing ways and I feel so blessed. I turned my back in Christianity long ago and am not what I call a Christian but a believer in the principles of Jesus. Somehow your message made it to my email and to my heart today and I thank you. I look forward to reading your Confident Heart Devotional when it comes out and pray it continues to lead me back to Jesus. Today I let go of the urge to be perfect and trust that in God’s eyes I am enough. Thank you.
Ananda,
Praying for you! Praying for God to WOO you back to Himself. Always remember His promise that His love never fails and He will never forsake you NO MATTER WHAT.
Prayers and blessings,
Donna B
Renee Swope’s Ministry Team
Oh Renee, how I needed to read this today. Coincidence that I ran upon this blog post today…I don’t think so. God is so good…he gives us what we need when we need it, and I needed this. Would love to win your book. Thanks for the chance to try.
Thanks for the opportunity to give away another one of your awesome books. Our women’s small group went through your book in our study and it is so filled with truths of God’s Word to break the ‘chains’ and bring freedom to women.
I already have a couple of women in mind to give it to – I know the Lord will tell me which one. 😉
Blessings on you and your family Renee.
This was a very much needed reminder today…keeping my eyes on Him! Thanks for sharing such a powerful message.
Your book “A Confident Heart” is an amazing book. Words were spoken to me yesterday that in the past would have put me in a very bad, self doubting place. Your post today and daily devotion were perfect timing for me. Thanks!
“Jesus was the only perfect Person to walk this earth… yet He was constantly criticized.”
I needed that.
I’ve been receiving some criticism from non-believing family members lately that has just stung my heart and this was the balm I needed.
Thank you, Renee!
I’m doing a study on idols–anything that I want more than I want God. Perfectionism and validation are two out of many areas I struggle with. I know it takes a concentrated effort to take my thoughts captive to what God says and thwart off the enemy’s lies.
I want to experience His peace and joy instead of living in a state of fear, anxiety, doubt and weariness. God is bigger than all my concerns and when I don’t run to Him to draw my strength. I’m telling Him He’s not sufficient enough and I’m giving my power to satan. I don’t want satan to have this victory.
Blessings for your ministry to help women live a victorious thought life which places God on His rightful throne instead of myself or other people or things.
Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one like this!
Oh my!!! I love it when our Father gives us exactly what we need even when we don’t know we need it. I was skipping through emails and I saw yours. My initial thought was, I’ll read that one later. But something (Someone!) made me open and read it. I needed your words and His confirmation more than I knew. I’ve been beating myself up again for not getting to everything on my list which brings the self-doubts flooding in that I’m not worthy as a friend, wife, mother, teacher, ….. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your heart in obedience to Him. He knows the goofy person that I am, I’ll let the world back in and need to be hit between the eyes with His goodness and grace.
Wow – this really spoke to my heart today. I struggle with being the best I can be, and feel like I fall short. What a great and timely reminder that God is there and He loves me even though I’m not perfect. I’ll never be perfect until I reach His perfect Heaven. Thank you for sharing this message today!
I was greatly blessed to read your devotional this morning (the one about the Samaritan woman at the well and how Jesus still pursues us). It was like water to my soul after a long desert stretch for my faith through unemployment, family struggles, and other issues that have weighed me down. I needed to read that. Thank you for blessing me today.
I’m hardest on myself! I take others thoughts and words about me to heart. I need to focus on what God says about and concentrate on those truths. Thanks for this wonderful devotion.
Thank you for sharing this. It is s something that happened to me this morning. It made me question myself, my faith and my imperfections. I know in my heart what God’s Word says, yet I focused on that one small comment that sent my thoughts racing. I went for a walk and ask God to show me and help me. When I came home, I received your email. I love how God works when we ask. Thanks!
thanks for the encouraging words today!
Such a powerful word of encouragement. Being surrounded in a world quick to criticize and correct, it is so refreshing to hear words that uplift and magnify the spirit and soul. Echoing in my heart are your words “Jesus was the only perfect person to walk this earth…yet he was constantly criticized” I know the pains of constant criticism, it has been my companion since birth. I didn’t realize the negative impact it had in my life until recently, when a friend asked me why I always put myself down because I am a wonderful person and I need to see and say that about myself. As I begin to listen to my own words, I recognized the parroting affect those critical words had imprinted on my heart. I uttered…God help me with this…and like Sam, at the unsuspecting perfect moment in time, God visited me through you. Only this time, He gave me the water from the well. Focused on the word, criticism, I leave with one thought, is there such a thing as “constructive criticism” or is that the oxy of all morons? Thanks for your kind words, they are truly an extension of God’s love.
Praising Him for providing the refreshment that you desire and need. May He be honored and glorified through His Word and His message.
Blessings,
Donna B
Renee Swope’s Ministry Team
Like many women, I struggle with trying to be perfect and pleasing others. I thank God for devotionals from Proverbs 31 Ministries and lessons from my pastor and church, as well as good friends who have spoken into my life. Together, these components have helped me to see that my value lies in Christ, not others.
Blessed to know that “I AM AN IMPERFECT WOMAN, LOVED BY PERFECT GOD!
This is so true! We all strive to be perfect yet we never will. We can’t because Jesus is the only perfect one. Each day, all we can do is our best and be thankful for our blessings.
I needed to hear this today! I constantly allow my failures to shake my confidence. This often makes me feel inadequate and worthless. Thank you for reminding me that God’s love is perfect so I don’t have to be. 🙂
It’s so easy to do but our failures aren’t fatal and they don’t have to have the final say. Jesus deserves to have more say than our performance. He loves us and wants us to learn how to love ourselves the way He does, with lots of grace and patience!
Just when I think I have recovered from people pleasing, I find myself doing it again. It is just part of who I am and since God made me this way, I must be in His will. Thank you for what all your devotions mean to me.
Yes, the disease to please is a hard one to overcome but I’ve found that in the security of God’s (when I own them like they are mine no matter what) I’ve found we can have a deep soul assurance most of us never thought possible. God made us sensitive to others needs but He doesn’t want us to get lost in them or defined by them. Praying for you and each of you sharing the same struggle. We can walk in these truths together!!
I wholeheartedly believe that God finds you where you are. I don’t always click on the links on FB of Proverbs 31, but today I did. That was my well where Jesus was waiting for me, as I sat mired in self-doubt and shaken by the ripple of unkind words that led to thoughts challenging the very core of my beliefs and confidence in myself. I thought I was a good mother, wife, friend and couldn’t think beyond the now swarming thoughts that none of that could possibly be true. How can I fix it, what medicine should I take, will my children remember my tears when they are older? I felt paralyzed as I sat in the couch, praying that a quiet moment alone would still my mind. And there, in the reflective words of the post, was Jesus, patiently waiting for me with the reminder that he purposely sought out this moment to hold me through this darkness, to comfort my mind and carry the burden for a while. It seems that confidence is always restored when we realize that it was only ever momentarily misplaced and never truly lost…because we can never lose God even when we try to hide.
Oh Alyese. I’ve been there. Sitting in the same place, in my own living room questioning everything I was and did. Im praying for you tonight sweet friend. ~Renee
Thank you Renee and also the P31 writers. Your encouraging words really make a difference in so many lives.
I have felt like something must be wrong with me for quite awhile now because of how my life seems to have fallen apart in so many areas. Thank you for reminding me that it’s ok that to have something wrong with me. It doesn’t matter because my God who is perfect loves me just as I am.
Thank you – much needed today and most days. I think we as women have so many roles and its hard to get everything done the way we THINK it needs to be that the doubts set in so easily. And then there is the whole thing with trying to please everyone.
Yes, Jesus is our soft pillow land on. Feel so blessed to have that.
Thanks!
Thanks so much for this today. I am currently at a point in my life where I feel as if I can’t catch a break….and through all of it have never felt more alone. I needed this reminder that He is there for me even when no one else is….those times when I feel so alone, afraid, and a constant failure and disappointment to others. I appreciate this so much.
Thank you, Renee, this is just what I needed to hear this morning. My husband has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and I feel so inadequate as a wife and care giver. I keep trying to make sure everything is perfect so there is no stress for him. Unfortunately, I am failing miserably. I know that I am not perfect and never can be. However, hearing those words your friend told you made me realize that even more. I can’t do it alone, but I can do it with God and all the people he puts in my life to help me. Again, thank you. My heavy heart is much lighter now. Bless you always!
WOW Renee.
Your sharing “Jesus was the only perfect Person to walk this earth… yet He was constantly criticized. But, guess what? Nowhere is it recorded in scriptures that Jesus ever doubted Himself. No matter what, He stayed secure in His purpose and confident in His calling. What His Father said {about Him} was all that mattered {to Him}.” REALLY SPOKE TO MY HEART! I’m going to write that in my journal.
Thank you cannot begin to say how grateful that I am to have come across this devotional today. Just when I felt like giving up, this came though my email. Thank you
I have read your book, Renee and cannot t\ell you how much it helped me. I find myself going back to it again and again when I fill with self-doubt. I know I will never be perfect…no one is…but I can learn to love myself and be confident in who I am. Thank you for all you do!
Thanks for the devotional!
This devotional sounds awesome! There has been a lot of hurt in our family, so it is hard to know how to even act. Thank you for all you do!
Thank you so much Renee for letting the Lord use you to help encourage us with the words He’s given you to speak into our lives exactly when we need them. I do & have been feeling like such a failure these days even though I know the Lord has my back and that I’m doing what I know He’s wanting me to do at the time. Or should I say I know I’m on the path He’s put me on. I’m feeling like such a failure with regards to my finances and in raising my kids. I’ve done a pretty good job considering I’ve had to do so on my own. Yet I’m lost in knowing how to help guide my oldest son into the next step of becoming an adult and finding a job & learning to helping to provide for himself with the Lords guidance. I would enjoy to have this package for one I am in a point I’m really not able to afford it even though I know the Lord has guided me to seeing this post and get this devotional. I feel He is just guiding me to enter to try it this way 1st and well if nothing comes of it then He will show me how to go about purchasing it.. Anyway, I pray that you consider me when deciding on who will get this beautiful package. God Bless & thank you again for letting the Lord use you.
Thank you Renee for this blog post, I was having a rough day allowing the devil steal my joy due to my past actions, hurts or rejections. Your summary about Jesus looking only to God the father for approval was a great reminder of what I need to do.
Thank you for your devotions, they really speak to my heart. I keep “wishing” I could be bold and confident, I am working on this daily and some days are better than others. I know God strengthens me and He is a reminder of unconditional love. I would love to have this package to share with my daughter, as a reminder of “A Confident Heart”.
Renee, your writing is so fresh and inspiring. Like a salve to my heart. This morning after a call to a friend for coffee (ugh, I woke her up) I felt not good enough, cool enough, independent enough, enough…enough. Thank you for this encouragement today that I am a child of God and in Him, I am enough. I pray I can live according to what is important to Him instead of trying to keep up with my own people-pleasing tendencies and the exhausting measures I take to try to present the best, most “perfect” version of me all.the.time. Blessings to you!
I can’t tell you how much I love A Confident Heart. It is a perfect book for everyone. I love how you incorporate the scriptures within your messages. God bless you!!
Never did I realize until being a stay at home mom, how much we criticize our selves and strive for perfection. Not realizing we are never going to reach perfection. I’m so thankful for Gods perfect love and the strength and peace he provides through the holy spirit. Stay focused on the Lord!
I need to hear this every day! I don’t usually think of myself as lacking self confidence, yet when it comes to my spiritual self confidence, I am very weak and timid. Thank goodness God loves me right where I am today.
I needed to hear this today. I am not where I want to be and it seems like my ideals are getting further and further away from me. I’ve been thinking all kinds of negative thoughts but now I will stop and remember this blog and what God’s word says. Thank you so much for sharing!
Dee
Renee, I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for bringing this message forward today. I am a woman trying very hard to be what God wants me to be. I have been dealing with a lot of misgivings about myself and my confidence has reached an all time low recently. I needed this reminder that I am not alone and that it is ok that I am not perfect.
Every since I was little I always had issue with rejection and being alone. Since I wasn’t raised by my parents I felt if your they didn’t want you nobody else will. So as I go through life I always doubt everything I do and say, I still walk around with the shame of feeling that I will never being worthy of the love that God has for me or be a God woman to live out my purpose. I alwasy look at the negative and think that i’m only surpose to have the bad things in life never the good.