I love all the comments and questions that were left under Monday’s post. I plan to share more about where and when God took my speaking beyond my church walls. But before we go on, I want to answer some of your questions. So if you have any more about being able and available, ways to be faithful with the little things, etc., please leave them in the comments below and I’ll be back to answer them tonight.
I had a crazy day and am just not getting dinner started. It’s 7pm here. I also have a P31 Speaker team conference call at 8:30 so I’ll be back before I go to bed.
Tonight’s call with our team was great. We talked past 10pm. We can do some talking now…imagine 19 speakers on phone call. But we are pretty good at taking turns. Many people think we all hang out together in some big office but that’s not so. We have a really small office and only a few of us get to be there during week. These calls are the only way we get to connect all together since many of us live in different states or in different parts of the same state. I love hearing everyone’s voices. I can’t wait to see them all at She Speaks. It’s the only time of the year we’re all together. We do a lot of talking and staying up late then, too.
Well, I am a lot more tired than I thought I’d be so I am going to go to bed and come back tomorrow. I probably wouldn’t make any sense if I tried to write something tonight anyway….so I’ll see you in the morning.
Renee,
Thanks for all your endless encouragement. You are great at leading us on.
Blessings,
Charlene
I re-read your part of teh posts talking about imagining God was bigger in our eyes than we are. I journaled tonight about wanting God to be bigger than me, bigger than my problems. So that finally I can look beyond my junk I am trying to get through. I have been getting so bogged down with depression, even with going through counseling, I am going up and down and get thrown by the smallest things. I find myself doing all that negative self talk.
I wrote tonight, “God I want you to be my focus. I want You to change me because I can’t do it on my own. I can’t will these changes into being. I can’t make the changes on my own. I want to be dependant upon You alone”
I realize that I need to also stop talking and start listening more. God spoke to me today about forgiveness. I want to listen to God more than the enemy, lies, fears, critical thoughts of mine (or others around me).
I am struggling right now, after being emotionally exhausted from counseling, with a conversation that really brought me down. I feel like someone close I was counting on has completely withdrawn their support. They aren’t going to follow through on something that would help my healing. How do I get beyond this? When this throws me so much, I feel like I am failing at trusting that God will work it out. What am I supposed to do, when this person said they would do some co-counseling with me, and now they won’t at all, and I can’t change that? They promised their support and help through this, and now they have gotten stubborn and won’t go there for me. I just don’t want to end up in the hospital again. How do I heal? How do I let God heal me? As you can tell, I am struggling greatly right now. I feel betrayed and hurt, and left alone. I don’t know how to listen to God and what He is trying to teach me through this, or how He will redeem this situation.
Any thoughts or comments or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
God bless,
Heather
[email protected]
Hi Renee,
As I just reread your post from Monday an illustration came to my mind.
I have a friend who is a nurse in the paliative care unit at a hospital. She often works the night shift. During that time, part of her reponsibilities include changing the dressing and bandaging for patients. This would happen twice during her shift. She said she used to always hurry with the first dressing change, doing it properly, but not taking as much care, knowing she was the only one who would see it, as she would be replacing it again before her shift ended and the next nurse took over. She would be much more cautious with the second bandage change as the nurse coming on the following shift would see the work she had done. One night the Lord really convicted her about her attitude and what she was doing. He asked her if she would do that first bandage change for Him. Maybe no other human eyes would ever see the results of her effort, but He was watching. This totally changed her perspective and she began doing that first bandage for Jesus.
I thought of this as I read, “It doesn’t matter how much or how little God’s given us. What matters is how we use what we’ve been given.” My friend began to use her gifts for God alone – the Giver of all gifts. Praying I will see no task as too small to bring Him glory. Praying I will live my life for an audience of One.
Hoping you’ll have time to relax at some point before this day is over and trust your P31 conference call goes well. May the Lord renew your strength..may you run and not be weary and walk and not faint.
Hugs,
Joy