It had been a really terrible, awful, hard day. So hard that I sat and cried. And yet, it brought me to the end of myself. And that was a good thing.
When I finished crying, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God.
Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
I’d been buried in the dirt that day. I was lost in the monotony of motherhood and felt like my days had no meaning. My discouragement and feelings of failure as a mom left me so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced God felt the same way about me.
I started wishing I had a gold-miner in my life who could see beyond my mistakes and find the gold in me. That’s when God whispered to my heart, “Renee, I am that gold-miner. You are the one who is so critical of yourself. You are the one who focuses on your faults. But I see the gold of My image in your heart, and I want to bring it to the surface so your kids can see Me in you.”
As I sat there trying to process what God was whispering to my heart, stories from the Bible started flooding my thoughts helping me believe that God really does see beyond who I am to who I can become.
That day God used His thoughts to give me a new perspective – of Himself and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to transfer that perspective to my children.
It’s easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and discouragement. You may even be thinking, Where’s the gold in it all? I wondered, too. But after reading Carnegie’s story and hearing God speak to my heart, I wanted to become a gold-mining mom.
As I thought about the gold I wanted to see in my children, character traits of Christ such as patience, kindness and contentment came to mind. I decided to make a list of golden attitudes and actions and look up Bible verses we could learn together. Then I made gold nuggets by balling up foil and spray-painting them gold.
In the following weeks, each time my kids showed a golden attitude or action, I’d reward them. When they saved up enough nuggets, they’d get a special treat. We also found new character traits and Bible verses, wrote down ideas to live them out and started making them part of our family devotions.
It took time for me to embrace a grace-based parenting perspective and let God’s new truths sink in. But I was so excited about having a spiritual focus as a mom. I started getting creative and about finding time in the midst of my busy days to get into His Word and get His word into me. And as I did, He used His thoughts to re-shape mine.
God’s Word became a part of our everyday lives as He taught me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Not only did it change my kids’ attitudes and actions, it changed me, too. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a parent. God had given me a new perspective, and a whole new sense of purpose as a mom!
Lord, thank You for not focusing on the dirt in my life but seeing beyond who I am to who I can become. Help me believe that, receive that and give it away to my kids, my husband and my friends. Help me look at their hearts and encourage the glimpses of You that I see in them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Portions of this post are in my book, A Confident Heart.
Copyright 2011. Baker Publishing. All rights reserved.
Purpose-Driven Mom Gift Pack:
Enter to win my Purpose-Driven mom message on CD and my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Character Chart and The Mom I Want to Be by Suzie Eller. To enter, click “share your thoughts” below and share why you’d like win.
Thanks so much, Renee. I have a three year-old daughter and I really need to start mining the gold in her heart. It’s so much easier to start that when they are younger. It’s not easy to change our hearts and our ways when we get older. God definitely has to get a strong grip on us but we also have to let him. I really want to win but if I don’t I look forward to being able to purchase your character chart.
Good morning Renee. I would so love to win this Purpose-Driven Mom Gift Pack for a few simple reasons. First and foremost, I can totally relate to what you went through. My daughter was a very difficult and challenging toddler and still is very difficult and challenging. Second, I didn’t do so well with my 21-year-old daughter, who went to live with her dad when she was 15, so we don’t have a healthy relationship. Third, I still have my 17-year-old son living with me and I don’t want to make the same mistakes that I did with my daughter. Finally, because I bought the Mom I Want To Be but since I am a single Mom, I don’t have adequate time to read it thoroughly. Being a single mom, CD’s are wonderful to listen to and gives me plenty of time to think while traveling. I believe these pearls of wisdom will enlighten me and possibly help me make amends with my daughter and benefit my relationship with my son as well, along with lots of prayer, of course. Thank you for offering this. Even if I don’t win, I know that someone will be truly blessed by this wonderful gift. God bless you.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! the Lord used this devotion to speak to me. Thank you!!!!
Hello. My name is Lisa Vanderveen. I am grateful for your proverbs 31 topic and this website! This is just the message that I needed today (thanks GOD)! I am the mother of 7 children, in a blended family. We have been a family for 6 years now. There have been good times as well as bad. Our past marriages ended tragically. My four step-children experienced a mother sent away due to drug and alcohol use. Then, she found another man and barely saw her children for years. When she decided to see them again, her heart gave out and she suddenly passed. It’s been 2 years now, but scars run deep. My 3 biological children saw their dad leave with someone else and he got involved in bad things too, lost his job and moved away for 2 years. He is back now…and healthy. We have managed to get through these things but sometimes, I feel discouraged as a mom. I would love to win your gift package and my soul would soak up the encouragement. Thanks for all you do for us moms out there. Motherhood is so important! Lisa Vanderveen
Thank you for your message today. It was wonderful. It confirms what was revealed to me yesterday. I have to turn everything over to God and let him do his will. I can not do it on my own. Sometimes it takes that breaking point for us to realize this. Now, I just have to let God use me and guide me. Sounds easy, right?
As the mother of 9 children, I would love to win your packet. It would help me be a better Mom, wife, and friend. It is a resource that I feel will help focus life back on God and away from what Ido. I can not do this on my own. I am not enough. The wonderful thing is that God is more than enough. HE fills in where we fall short. HE is the way, the truth, and the light. I pray that I will let him lead me. I give it all over to God.
I would love to win this giveaway, due to not having a parent who loved me and show me who I was in Christ. I am just learning at my age that I am somebody in Christ and I would love to be able to be a better parent to my children and grandchildren. By trusting the Lord and learning through other people He is using to bless other people. This mother wants to learn how to be all that God has created her to be.
Oh how I need to be mined! I have a 3 & 5 year old who constantly defy me & my authority. (Or lack of authority, whichever you want to call it) I have tried so many things from behavior charts to time out. They are both very smart but head strong & it’s a constant battle. The thing is…while I’VE tried everything I know that I need to take me out of the picture. Ya know? Instead of “Lord, give me strength…Lord be MY strength”. And the same thing goes for every aspect of our lives, especially parenting. I know all of these things, but haven’t implimented them. That stops now! I’d love to win your Mom Pack. It would be a great tool/ weapon as I take over my role as the Mommy that Jesus intended me to be. Thank you for your fabulous devotions & God Bless!
I love the story you shared. Often times I don’t see the gold for all the dirt in the way. Life today is busy, hectic and sometimes just crazy. I would love to win because I love the idea of mining for gold in my children. I think I need to stop and see the beauty and the wonderful gift God has given me in my children. Thanks for the devotional, it’s much appreciated!
Hi Renee,
This really hit home for me today. My daugher is 29 months and I feel the exact same way that you did. I am a single parent, so I feel like that in itself is a target on my back. I know that I can be a better more patient mom for her, but I get so wrapped up in how others look and are doing things and feel like I am that mom that looks out of control. Thank you for sharing this, it helps me realize that I am not alone in my feelings, and that my daughter is normal.
Have a blessed day,
~Tennille
And that is why I would love to win the gift pack 🙂
This devotion is such an inspiration! It seems my husband, my 2 kids, and I have all been a little short on patience here lately. I would love to win this give away to have some new resources to help me grow in my role as a mom.
It’s all about coming to a ‘place of grace’… Thanks for the reminder!
dp
Thank you Renee for your meaningful words today Feb. 13. You expressed exactly how I have been feeling. Comparing myself to other moms and doubting my abilities as a mom has been tearing me down and reading your words showed me that God has something better planned for me instead of my feeling so downcast. I really need some encouragement. Winning your giveaway would give me some of the resources I have been searching for to better my outlook as well as my communication with my children. I have two boys, Shayne 4 and Samuel 2. I want to be the mom they deserve and can look up to. I want to teach them about God in ways they find fun and encourage them to seek Him for themselves. There seems to be so many things standing in my way of being this kind of mom. I get frustrated easily and just want to sit and cry. My boys deserve a wonderful mom and there are days like you that I just want to turn in my pink slip. But I know God has a plan for me. I believe that is why I received your email today and was led to your page. Thank you for all that you do.
Thank you this is what I need at this time in my life, I often feel like a failure in my being a mom. I have a 3 daughter 19year old and twins who are 13. I have one of my twins who is really going through a rough time in her life and it seems like she has two peersonalitys. I’ve been praying and I think God sent this message for me, so that I can see who I am in him and look at my girls hearts and see beyond their attitudes and see their hurts and see and love them the way God does.
My daughter is the mother of two young children, ages 3 years and a 7 month old. She is a working mother and a wife. Trying to juggle all these hats is, as all of us who have been there know, challenging at best. My daughter is not saved…yet…! Her 3 year old attends a Christian preschool, and is starting to bring what she is learning there into the house. My son in law and daughter are not opposed to this. In fact, my daughter told me she would like to start going to church with me. Halleluia! Jennifer (my daughter) is easily discouraged, and although her sister and I have often discussed God’s love with her, she not accepted it yet. I plan to print your message here and give her a copy. (It always makes more sense coming from someone other than your mother.) Hopefully, it will be the push that is needed. Your book would be helpful too-somthing she could refer to when discouraged. Thank you for your expressions of faith, I read you often in my devotionals from Proverbs 31.
I definitely need help and advice in this arena. I have a 16 month old that loves her word “no” and a baby on the way. I work full time and my husband is working and in school full time. We need lots of prayers.
Thanks so much for your devotion. Although my children are no longer small, I still struggle with raising Godly children. This prize pack would help me on my journey.
Thank you for your Devon’s, both on Proverbs 31 & here. I needed encouragement today. My 6 yr old feels like he cannot get anything right, & I talk about Jesus’ love to him; then I get on to him about things and it feels like I am not representing Christ for my son. I really felt encouraged and ready to try again, this time with God’s help! Tamra
Thanks for reminding us that we are not alone in this big challenge of motherhood. We so often look at others and think they have it all together and we are such a mess. I need God’s continual guidance as I try to raise four children. Sometimes it is so overwhelming I don’t think I can do it anymore.
Thank you for sharing your honest struggles- it helps us all grow when we are vulnerable. Needing God is the best place to be. I would love the voyager go bible and would give the other to my best friend who is a mama too. Thanks! [email protected]
I like this because there are so many times when I have wanted to quit. But how do I make it personal and get my daughters ages 10 and 7 years to develop Christ like character.
That is where I am not doing too well on.
I liked the voyager go Bible so that you could load additional things. I would give the first one to my almost thirteen year old daughter who really loves the Word but needs encouragement from the Word right now to fill her heart.
The second one I would give to my ten year old daughter who is filling her heart with the Word right now. She would really use it and take care of it. I know she would share with her little sisters and that would make it more precious to them. She would also find scriptures to share with me and faithfully remind me to listen to them. 🙂
I just found you today! I am so excited to find such a source of encouragement in my walk. I can't wait to share your resources with others.
Thank you Renee for sharing the new perspective God has given you. It has truly been a blessing to me and an answer to prayer. You see I had been asking God to help me in Mothering my child since I have felt totally unequipped and had not been raised in a Christian home nor my husband. God had been speaking to me this year about being a purposeful parent to my child. I had the worse Mothers Day ever and accounted to my own failures of being a Mom. The Law of reaping & sewing. Anyway, if I was to win the gift set, the Voyage Bible sounds great. I would share it with a friend who is also raising a daughter. I praise the Lord for speaking to your heart and thank him for your obedience in sharing.
Blessings,
[email protected]
Wow – God's timing is amazing.. I just read the Proverbs 31 devotion & it spoke to me.. I'm a single mom of 2 wonderful boys, but lately I've been questioning my parenting.. Just yesterday I was thinking about my "pink slip" – but as a MOM you can only think those thoughts for a short time, then have to get over it & move on & be there for your kids..
I think it's really in my face right now because I've been asked to speak at my church in 2 weeks about being a single parent & that's made me really think about what I do..
Thank you for your words of wisdom, they will help me feel better about who "I" am!
I'm not familiar w/ GoBible (but will look into it soon). I would share this great gift w/ my neice who is a young mom..
Thank you,
Stefani
What perfect timing, as God usually has.. I've been having a hard time the last few days – i've actually had the "I want to Quit" thoughts.. NOT in the sense of quitting my life, just the responsibilities that comes w/ motherhood & single motherhood.. I know this blog was from last week, but today wsa the right time for me to read it!! So thank you for all that you do..
I"m unfamiliar with GoBible, so I cant say which one I like at this time, but I will go look into it.
If I'd entered this on time & won, I'd give the other gift to my neice who is a young mom!
Stefani
I love hearing your encouraging words! It's very comforting to know that there are other women out there dealing with the same issues of Momhood and Life that I am.
If I won, I'd pick the GoBible Original and give the other to my wonderful Mom, a true woman of God : )
Thank you so much for that devotion. I always felt like I was the only one who would ever want to "quit". If I won, I would give the second one to my sister-in-law, who was instrumental in leading me to Proverbs 31 Ministries. I would love to have the GoBible voyager. It just seemed to have just what I would need. Thanks so much. Michele I
[email protected]
Go Bible Voyager NIV
Wonderful post. This was my first Mother's Day since the tragic death of my son 10 months ago. We take so much for granted. I used to have many days where I wanted to quit. Now I can't imagine that. I treasure each moment with my daughter good and bad.
Hello, My name is Hazel
Iknow exactly what you mean,I have been going through a tough time with my 10-year-old son. He is normally a straight "A" student but lately he has not been turning in homework and becoming very disrespectful. Everyone keeps telling me it's his age but I just keep praying that things will get better.
i would love to have the GoBible. my email address is [email protected]
I don't think I've reached the point of wanting to quit, but boy do I have days that come close! 🙂 BUT GOD! He is so faithful and strong and loving and the best leader and carrier when I fall down! Thank you for your encouraging words!! God is doing some new and exciting things in me and I'm so excited!
My sister is an amazing woman and busy mom of 9! She would be who I would bless! 🙂
[email protected]
Many blessings back to you Renee for all your pour out to us!!
I liked the devotion. I like the go bible voyager. I would give the 2nd one to my mom.
angela7777(at)juno(dot)com
I love the idea of all of this. I desire that the Lord transform me into the self-less momma and wife that He has designed me to be. I love the Character Chart as well. I would chose the Voyager. Thanks for the opportunity.
AMY RUTH
[email protected]
Renee, your devotions & blog posts are really just what I need…I have wanted to quit my job as Mom many times in the last year. Thanks for the encouragement! I want to study what you learned from God. If I receive the GoBibles I would like the voyager if I could download Bible messages to it. Otherwise the original would work well. I'd give the second one to my Dad so he could hear scripture (he has read the Bible every morning for as long as I can remember) or else to one of my young Mom friends. Thanks again.
I am just completely wore out on parenting. I was at my breaking point at lunch today. Crying and praying to God that I coulnd't do this anymore. My kids receive the short end of the stick everyday because I am wore out when I get home from work everyday and my husband refuses to consider letting me stay home with them because what if…. It breaks my heart. I feel like all the kids hear from me everyday is criticsm and yelling at them. The few hours I get to spend with them maybe i am just looking at dirt instead of gold. It doens't matter to me which Go Bible I would get everything you have in that pack would be helpful for me and my kids. Every single one of my friends work and raise their children, i have an unlimited supply of friends to give the second set to if I win. Thanks
[email protected]
What a cool little gadget! I would love the original version and would give the other one to my friend Tammy…she has the same struggles as I do with full time work and a young child.
I am a recent subscriber to your Proverbs 31 ministries and it came at a great time…we just recently lost my aunt and uncle in the Mississippi tornados so my mom and I have really clung to Gods word. Proverbs 31 ministries has been a blessing, I have been able to find something to apply everyday. Any of the GoBibles would be wonderful to have and my mom would receive the other one. [email protected]
Thank you doesn't even begin to tell you how encouraging this devotion is to me. My boys are no longer toddlers, but the struggles seem to only increase as they grow older. They are so greatly influenced by my spouse, who was raised in a christian home, but chooses not to follow a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and I feel as though I am running in to a brick wall at times. I would choose the original GoBible, with the 2nd for my friend and single mom, Tonya.
I was just starting to read your article about quitting which is how i've been feeling lately,when my son interuppted me and apoligized for something he done and said the other day. That was a great moment. Your gift pack would be a great help the go bible voyager would be a great help, with 7 kids and a busy husband i feel i'm always on the road to somewhere or something. The one i'd give,would probably be a friend who is expecting who also has a 1 1/2 yr daughter recovering from brain cancer and a 3 1/2yr daughter.
Thank you! I have been feeling down on myself alot lately, and found your wonderful blog this evening after begging God for guidance. If chosen to win, I would choose my best friend, Greta, as the other recipient–Original NIV please. After years of infertility treatments, God has led them down a wonderful new path this past 6 months. They became foster parents, and, even more, they will soon finalize adoption of their wonderful boy!
[email protected]
Thank you! I have been feeling down on myself alot lately, and found your wonderful blog this evening after begging God for guidance. If chosen to win, I would choose my best friend, Greta, as the other recipient. After years of infertility treatments, God has led them down a wonderful new path this past 6 months. They become foster parents, and will soon finalize adoption of their wonderful boy!
[email protected]
A friend forwarded me your devotion today and boy did it hit home! I have a newborn and my older son has been having quite the adjustment. Your devotion came at the perfect time. I would choose the Voyager and would give the 2nd one to a dear friend of mine.
I have now subscribed to your newsletter and sent you a friend request on FB.
I would love the Original Go Bible and I would give the second pack to a friend who is a new mum and is struggling as not everything is going to plan.
Thanks so much for the encouraging devotions. I could definitely use a GoBible, and would love the Voyager with all of its awesome features, although they all would be extremely helpful. I'd give my second GoBible to my friend and accountability partner, Kristin. Our kids are the same ages and we encourage each other along this wife/mommy/child of God journey.
Thanks again…
Inga
[email protected]
I loved this devotional.. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I have been finding myself in a place where I wanted to quit but as a single mom I can't. I would so enjoy the Gobible Voyager. I would give the second pack to my dearest friend who just had her third baby.
That was the devotional that I NEEDED to read. I want to quit mommy hood right now, BUT as a single mom I can't. Anyways, I would totally enjoy the Gobible Voyager. I would give the second pack to my dearest friend who just had her third baby.
Voyager in NIV would be wonderful. I would share with one of my Bible Study friends. Thank you for the encouragement. It is a challenge being a parent – many days. Support and encouragement from P31 goes a long way! [email protected]
God is so amazing. I have a friend who wad just saying she feels like giving up. And today's devotion was exactly what she needed. So I forwarded it on to her. I would like either Bible. I'm simple but either would be great. I would give my friend the other one so when she feels like giving up she can pull it out and see where God guides her
Thank you so much for this encouraging devotion! There have been so many times where I wanted to give up on being a Mom! It is so hard! I have 2 children with type 2 diabetes, so there are the challenges of raising 2 girls along with a challenging medical condition. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
I would love the Go Bible Voyager. And I would give the second pack to my friend Mary. -Kathy
Hi Renee, I had never heard of the goBible before. It sounds like a great idea! I love to connect with God while sitting and reading my Bible, but at times I lose track of time(now that my kids are in school and I finally feel like I have some uninteruped quiet time to spend with Him)but then my housework doesn't get done! It would be great to be able to move around the house, doing my work and still be able to spend time hearing the word. I would enjoy using the goBible voyager in the NKJV as well as one in the NIV for my friend who is a new Christian, mom of two. She shared with me that she has tried to commit suicide three times, the last time, just a few days before joining our Small Group Bible study.
She has polio and has recently started a new job. She loves listening to music while she commutes and I think she would also really benefit from filling her mind with God's word to help her grow in Him. My email is [email protected] I really can relate to your post about wanting to quit some days and not believing satan's lies. Thankyou! Tamara
Just last week I wanted to quit. I didn't wanna be "the mom" anymore. Some things have happened recently and it has made me question my ability as a mom. Your devotion is exactly what I needed. I pray about being a good mom, but I guess that I haven't really surrendered it all to God. I have even been trying to find ways to teach & show my children the love of God, and I still don't feel adaquate. I need all the help I can get to regain confidence in myself.
If I won, I would take whatever. I'm not picky.
And I would probably give the other to my bestie, who often struggles with the same things.
Thank u so much for expressing your feelings and sharing the things that the Lord reveals to u. It has helped me out so many times.
Thank-you, Renee for this devotion today! I am the mom of 3 teenagers, and sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and holler "I QUIT"! Whether it's my oldest who is 19 blowing me off after being asked to do something, my daughter who is 16 having an attitude about what she has chosen to wear that day, or my youngest who is 14, pitching a fit about something small before he walks out the door to catch the bus. There are days that it feels like the same thing different day, and we're all stuck. If I win, I would like the GoBible Original, the other one I would give to my best friend Pam who is the mom to 6(3 boys and 3 girls), she has been a blessing to me since the day that we met almost 10 years ago. Again, thanks so much for this, God bless you. Love in Christ, Elena