It had been a really terrible, awful, hard day. So hard that I sat and cried. And yet, it brought me to the end of myself. And that was a good thing.
When I finished crying, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God.
Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
I’d been buried in the dirt that day. I was lost in the monotony of motherhood and felt like my days had no meaning. My discouragement and feelings of failure as a mom left me so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced God felt the same way about me.
I started wishing I had a gold-miner in my life who could see beyond my mistakes and find the gold in me. That’s when God whispered to my heart, “Renee, I am that gold-miner. You are the one who is so critical of yourself. You are the one who focuses on your faults. But I see the gold of My image in your heart, and I want to bring it to the surface so your kids can see Me in you.”
As I sat there trying to process what God was whispering to my heart, stories from the Bible started flooding my thoughts helping me believe that God really does see beyond who I am to who I can become.
That day God used His thoughts to give me a new perspective – of Himself and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to transfer that perspective to my children.
It’s easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and discouragement. You may even be thinking, Where’s the gold in it all? I wondered, too. But after reading Carnegie’s story and hearing God speak to my heart, I wanted to become a gold-mining mom.
As I thought about the gold I wanted to see in my children, character traits of Christ such as patience, kindness and contentment came to mind. I decided to make a list of golden attitudes and actions and look up Bible verses we could learn together. Then I made gold nuggets by balling up foil and spray-painting them gold.
In the following weeks, each time my kids showed a golden attitude or action, I’d reward them. When they saved up enough nuggets, they’d get a special treat. We also found new character traits and Bible verses, wrote down ideas to live them out and started making them part of our family devotions.
It took time for me to embrace a grace-based parenting perspective and let God’s new truths sink in. But I was so excited about having a spiritual focus as a mom. I started getting creative and about finding time in the midst of my busy days to get into His Word and get His word into me. And as I did, He used His thoughts to re-shape mine.
God’s Word became a part of our everyday lives as He taught me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Not only did it change my kids’ attitudes and actions, it changed me, too. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a parent. God had given me a new perspective, and a whole new sense of purpose as a mom!
Lord, thank You for not focusing on the dirt in my life but seeing beyond who I am to who I can become. Help me believe that, receive that and give it away to my kids, my husband and my friends. Help me look at their hearts and encourage the glimpses of You that I see in them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Portions of this post are in my book, A Confident Heart.
Copyright 2011. Baker Publishing. All rights reserved.
Purpose-Driven Mom Gift Pack:
Enter to win my Purpose-Driven mom message on CD and my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Character Chart and The Mom I Want to Be by Suzie Eller. To enter, click “share your thoughts” below and share why you’d like win.
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
My relatives always say that I am killing my time here at net,
but I know I am getting experience every day
by reading such nice posts.
I can so relate. My kids are 7 and 9 and I have a really hard time with order and discipline. My husband and I were childless for many years and our children have affected our marriage greatly. But we do not give up. We trust God and know that he is carrying us through all this. I would love read your book and listen to your CDs. I need all the help and encouragement I can find. Blessings to you.
I am a mother of three children, ages 15, 12, and 9. With my teenager I have been feeling as if I’ve gone wrong somewhere down the line as a parent. I’ve been so discouraged, feeling as if I’m not a good mother/role model. I’ve shed so many tears in the past 3-4 months as my heart is broken by disrespect and attitude. I, in the past week, have thought about just throwing my hands up…giving in. Then I read this devotion from a mother who has thought the same thing. I think your gifts will help me get my mind back focused where it needs to be..and maybe help me stay there.
Thank you Renee for sharing your heart. This has been so me lately. A lot lately. It seems everyday I go running to my bedroom, shut the door, and tell God I just want to quit. We have 4 boys 9 yrs to 23 yrs. I homeschool my 9, 10 and 15 yr. old (who thinks he’s “30′). By the time I get to bed at night my head is spinning with all the events of the day, and our Adversary is quick to remind me of my shortcomings and weaknesses, and I cry myself to sleep. I wake up each morning drained, and feel as I’ve been kicked around. Your devotion has given me hope. I know I need to take my eyes off of self and my circumstances and spend more time with my Father and remember that I am His. Thank you again. God Bless.
I would like to win because your message found me amidst a sea of complete and utter hopelessness. In a world that makes distracting our focus from the unsettled feeling in our hearts so easy I can’t help but find hope in knowing that it is still possible for God to reach out – even when we have forgotten how to listen. Your message spoke to every feeling that has been coursing through my heart and brain over the past few weeks (possibly months!) and I haven’t only ingnored this discontempt in my life, I have been ignoring what I haven’t been giving my children. They need me to show them love beyond that of which I am capable and I want to learn to open my heart to God, truly, so through me He can give them that love. I believe that winning this material, I will be one step closer to being the mother my children deserve.
Thank you.
I am a mother of a gorgeous daughter for whom I hoped and prayed for many years. Through the wonderful use of science and In-vitro fertilization, my prayer was answered. Through the process of yearning for a child, I grew ever closer to God. However, once my daughter was born I was overwhelmed by just how hard parenting is. I faltered continuously, dropping my eyes from God to fall into self-pity and spent too much time trying to rely on myself to get over the sleepness nights and the colicky days. Just like in your devotion about mothering, I reached a point where I was crying out for God to save me. Now that my daughter has gotten a little older, discipline is coming in to play. My childhood is not a very good place to look for discipline models, and I struggle daily to figure out how to discipline in a way that is fair and just. I want to be able to raise my daughter so that she knows God’s love and her parents’ love, and so she can always walk with the Lord. This is why I would like to win this prize pack.
Thank you for your story.
🙂
Thank you so much, Renee, for this encouragement. I needed it! I have been going through a tough time spiritually, as a mother to 3 and 1 on the way. I feel have very few mom role models in my life, and it’s so much harder than I ever expected! It literally is so humbling and requires God’s help. I don’t have a great relationship with my mother and did not have the most positive upbringing, and I am trying so desperately hard not to continue down that road. I am so glad that God is here & is the best example that ALL of us can look to as to how to raise HIS children for HIM. I would love to win this package to help guide me in being a better, more patient mom. Thank you for being used so greatly by God and being such a great encouragement.