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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Confident Heart Friendship Gift Pak

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…”
Hebrews 10:25a

I sometimes wonder if I am one of the “some” that are mentioned in this verse. Oh I go to church. I worship, take notes and hang out in the lobby chit-chatting. But somewhere along the way I got “in the habit of not meeting together” with friends as much as I think God wants me to.

I didn’t mean for it to happen. Each day just seemed to fade into another. I couldn’t keep up with everything as a wife, mom, friend, daughter, neighbor, and working/ministering woman.

Time with friends was the one thing I could afford to miss. Or so I thought.

But then I found myself with an craving for connection that I was trying to fulfill with a white screen and black alphabet keys. Yet no matter how many times I checked email or Facebook, it was never enough to satisfy my craving.

Maybe you can relate. If so, be sure to read my “Craving Connection” devotion over at Encouragement for Today.

As I think about my craving for connection, and God’s emphasis on the importance of us “meeting together,” I can’t help but believe it’s because He created us to need it. We were created in His image after all, and God is always in community – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Always has been.

But it won’t just happen because we need it. So, today I wanted to share a few ways we can get creative and intentional about spending time with friends:

  • Plan a monthly girl’s night out
  • Invite a friend over for lunch or coffee
  • Find a hobby you both enjoy
  • Get away together for a day or weekend
  • Carpool together
  • Run errands together
  • Clean your houses or do laundry together
  • Prepare dinner together
  • Serve someone in need together
  • Reach out to a neighbor together
  • Start a Bible study or book club together

One of the things that encourages me is to have spiritual purpose to my friendships. I love doing a book study with a friend and meeting to talk about the questions at the end of each chapter.

I wrote A Confident Heart with that in mind, hoping friends will read it and encourage each other with the truths God put in it. We need that spiritual encouragement and transparency in our friendships, don’t we? So, this week I’m giving A Confident Heart Friendship gift pak away to one of you. Here is what it includes:

Confident Heart Friendship Gift Pak

One advanced copy of my new book A Confident Heart
to read and share with a friend.

$10 Starbuck’s Gift Card to share with a friend while you connect face-to-face and heart-to-heart over coffee, tea or dessert.

To enter to win — share this post with your friends via Facebook, Twitter, your blog and email. Let me know you did and then tell me one friend you will encourage with a call today or an email letting them know you’d love to get together. I’ll announce the winner next Monday.

Lord, You created us with a need for friends. Yet, we find ourselves rushing through our days with little time for face-to-face and heart-to-heart connections. Help us to seek You first as our ultimate Friend, and then reach out to others so we can have and be a close friend. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


This post is part of my Encouraging Words Wednesday.

Comments

  3. Thank you for this wonderful post! I never looked at that verse in that light.
    I have been praying a lot about this subject lately. When I joined the church, three years ago, I came into it with no friends, and freshly abandoned by my family (they decided I wasn't welcome. Long story.)
    Fast forward to today. I ache for some deep connections, the kind I see when I look around, but I still have no close Christian friends, and I ache for one. I sit alone at church, I speak to a few people (hi-how-are-you), but away from church, I'm just as lonely as before. I read my Bible, I pour my heart out to God. I know He's my best friend, but it sure would be nice if I had one here on earth, to have coffee with, go shopping, share a lunch, etc.
    I would appreciate any prayers on my behalf. I'm very conflicted. I will say this, though.
    The members of my church are very loving and wonderful people who love God.. Sometimes I think maybe I just don't fit in. ?
    Oh yeah. I posted on facebook. 🙂

  4. Looking forward to reading your new book!! I will share with all my FB friends!!! Thanks & God Bless!

  5. Renee, thank's to my friend Amber who shared your post, I finally think I found the answer I'm looking for. I have a great job, beautiful home, loving husband, amazing wonderful kids, and so on. I have friends, but my dearest and most special friends… the ones who know me better than I know myself… they are the ones I don't have the face-to-face contact with. They are the ones I'm constantly checking my email, facebook, phone messages for to see if they've sent me anything. I thank the Lord everyday for this technology so I can feel like I have a connection to them, but I miss their beautiful faces and warm embraces. You've inspired me to stop saying "next year we'll plan a girls weekend"… Thank you for your post! You're words and encouragement really were embraced today!

  6. Wow, your devotion really struck a cord within me. I too, find myself checking emails looking for that note from a friend. Your notes have inspired me to ask my bible study women to get together over the summer. I miss these women and the powerful stories of Gods work in their lives when I do not see them over school breaks. Thank you.

  7. Oh, my, You are speaking straight to my heart. I've been thinking on this now for weeks. I've been trying to get together with friends more often as I know I have been craving a connection so badly. Unfortunately, my friends have to be craving this as well. I planned a girlfriends night recently and every single person I invited (7) said they had too much going on to participate. Hmmm…. What to do? I'll just keep trying.

    I will share your blog post on both twitter and facebook. Thank you so much! I woke up this morning thinking about friends I wanted to email and thank for their friendship so I will be doing that too. Thank you for this!

  8. I forwarded your post to my best friend, Liz, who moved out of town in the past year and we don't see each other nearly as much as we used to. But I'm so lucky to be seeing her this weekend! Can't wait!

  9. We spoke about this in our mom's Bible study the other day. Technology has over taken real relationships and we all need to get back to having real relationships with ourselves, friends, family and God. I will be sharing this with my Bible study and friends as I know many of us struggle with this, as do I. Thanks for this devotion, it will be put to use!
    Blessings, Jennie

  10. Wow…you hit the nail on the head with that one! So true with checking the emails and FB updates! But catching my self so many times hesitant to step outside of that box, commit to face-to-face time and a spirit led fellowship. Love your honesty and encouragements.

  11. Oh, I'd love to win this. I'm on a kick right now about reading anything that has to do with connections. Will be sharing with my friends. Thank you!
    Tonya

  12. I needed this more than you can imagine! I used to have things out of balance, big time. But like you described in the devotion, in my attempt to "balance" things, the pendulum swing way too far in the other direction! Now I almost never have face to face time w/friends (and it has been this way for a few years now, maybe several). As ministry has changed and picked up speed in the last year, I hardly even have girl time w/my mom, either, now.

    As soon as I read the devotion (last nite), I shared it w/my dearest and closest friend via email. We've known we must do better at this for a long time, but I let her know w/the same email how much I really want to see this happen. We allow life and circumstances to become our excuses. And many times when we finally do "schedule" a time together, the enemy seems too often to sabotage it. I have learned true godly friendships are greatly opposed!

    But oh how I need this back in my life. Especially right now!
    Thank you for this, Renee!

  14. Renee, thank you for another eye opener. I too check my email very frequently. I need to stop and make more time for my friends. I love to go and have lunch with them but think I am too busy. But I should not be that way. I shared this with my great friend. We have both let life make us too busy that we do not take time for each other. I am going to call her tomorrow and schedule a lunch date!!
    Thanks!
    God's blessings,
    Nicole

  16. Renee, This is an excellent word for me to read today. During the past couple of years as my husband became ill and eventually passed away this past Christmas Eve I found myself pulling further and further away from relationships so I could minister to and take care of him. I do not regret that for one moment, yet today just over three months since his passing, I feel more alone than ever. Though it is a difficult thought I know "I" need to make some effort in reconnecting with old friendships and making new ones as I begin this new season of my life. Would love to win and happy to have the opportunity to be reminded of my part in relationships!!
    Blessings, Cindy

  17. Amen Renee! Women friends are the best and I surely don't know why we deprive ourselves of their company. As you say, sometimes we let life get so busy we just stop making time for friends and what a mistake. I try to get out for lunch with a friend at least once a month and make a point of inviting from a wide circle. Just last weekend I was blessed to spend a "girl's" weekend with 3 other old friends who all live in my same small town but we are lucky if we get together once or twice a year. Next week I have a mutual birthday dinner out with 2 friends I don't even see that often. CRAZY!

  18. So very true! I am just now cleaning out email since the beginning of the week! Eeek! And that is so NOT like me, but I realized with having Revival and/or something every night since Saturday, email can/will wait!!!

    I so crave this as well! And today I shared this on FB, I sent my best friend from college a birthday card and talked to a dear lady from church on the phone today for an hour and tonight at Revival. She has been through the same things I'm currently going through and it was such a breath of fresh air for someone to understand and just listen! Not try to offer standard "Christian" advice. After 9+ months of this situation, I am over the pat answers! How timely to have read your devo tonight. Thank you!

  19. I have shared your post with a friend who is going through some tough stuff now and is experiencing doubt and fear. I am also planning to catch up with her soon so that she can talk to me about her problems face to face and I am always encouraging her by email and sharing your posts with her.

  20. I forwarded this email to my former college roommate. I emailed some friends today asking if they wanted to go to lunch. Thanks for the encouragement!

    Beccy Kirtland
    beccymk at gmail dot com

  21. Would love this book to share with a friend. Called one today with an encouraging word….forwarded a wonderful devotion to someone. My daughter is starting to isolate herself because of her busy life and it is breaking my heart. Am praying for her to make time for her friends and me. Will share on FB about your book and encouragement….Blessings on your ministry.

    my email is dlowran1(at)comcast(dot)net

  22. Sooo sorry my comment posted three times! I kept getting a message that I did not have Internet connection (iPhone) and would submit comment again…not sure how to delete two of them. Lol…oopsie!

  23. just facebooked your give away and started planning a girl's night out or day by the pool before school's out, taking a survey to see what works best with some new friends. xoxo

  24. Hi Renee~ I don't have facebook, twitter, or a blog , but I did email this to a friend of mine who I just recently reached out to connect with. I have known her for awhile, and one day I was thinking about her before church. I was thinking that I needed to get to know her better. That morning she stopped me in the lobby and asked for prayer for her daughter! I invited her to lunch and we made that happen. Now we need to keep the connection going! Your devotion fit perfectly , so I sent it to her.

    Thank you! I love proverbs 31.

  25. Renee, I'm just taking 2 minutes to write you this little note because that's all the time I have. : ) I just read your Proverbs31 post and it was such perfect timing. I am leaving for church in 20 minutes and just jumped on the computer to check my email for the 20th time today. All the while I am grudging having to leave the house tonight after working a long day. And all afternoon I've been overwhelmed with the status of my weekend… two birthday parties, carpool for my daughter's gymnastics, my Titus 2 Bible study… and my husband will be out of town at a men's retreat. Your post helped me realize my priorities… I long for that interaction and fellowship and am a social person but because of time restraints I settle for the artificial relationships that are as convenient as my keyboard. Not that my emails or FB friends are artificial relationships but they take less effort and leave me unsatisfied… in the way that a hug and the music of a friend's laughter fulfill me. So thankyou so much for being the Lord's conduit for me in my anxiousness this evening. His words through you were a refreshment to my soul! -Alisa Logue

  26. The Word, sister-girlfriends, and coffee…three of my favorite treasures!! When I read your devo and gift details, I immediately thought of Mikki, a dear sister-in-Christ, spiritual mentor, friend, and voice of accountability. = )

    Last year, Mikki and I were invited to speak at a women's retreat in the fall. We met throughout the summer at a popular coffee shop – at least twice a month – to pray, study the Word, and prepare our message. Such sweet, sweet times of laughter, growth, tears, and revelation. Since then, we have become "busy" again with our life routines.

    I would love a reason to compel our meeting together again! Mikki is that very rare, gem of a friend that loves me enough to tell me the truth (even when I may not want to hear it) and loves me right where I am. She is the rare friend that we may not speak or meet for three months, but when we do, we pick up right at the point we left off.

    Thank you for your ministry. I shared your page address and giveaway on my blog at http://www.sister-girlfriends.blogspot.com

  27. The Word, sister-girlfriends, and coffee…three of my favorite treasures!! When I read your devo and gift details, I immediately thought of Mikki, a dear sister-in-Christ, spiritual mentor, friend, and voice of accountability. = )

    Last year, Mikki and I were invited to speak at a women's retreat in the fall. We met throughout the summer at a popular coffee shop – at least twice a month – to pray, study the Word, and prepare our message. Such sweet, sweet times of laughter, growth, tears, and revelation. Since then, we have become "busy" again with our life routines.

    I would love a reason to compel our meeting together again! Mikki is that very rare, gem of a friend that loves me enough to tell me the truth (even when I may not want to hear it) and loves me right where I am. She is the rare friend that we may not speak or meet for three months, but when we do, we pick up right at the point we left off.

    Thank you for your ministry. I shared your page address and giveaway on my blog at http://www.sister-girlfriends.blogspot.com

  28. Hi Renee, This all sounds very familiar. It was an amazing talk you gave this weekend. I would share with a friend I have been estranged from. But hope to see tomorrow provided I don't have anymore sick kids. Abby came home yesterday sick. Chris

  29. Thanks so much for this. I loved your post. I can totally relate to checking my email several times a day. A friend that I REALLY need to connect with face to face is my dear friend, Amy. With both of us having young families and busy schedules, it's tough sometimes to get together. But it is SO totally worth it, as her presence is such a blessing and brightens my day!

  30. Thank you for this devotional. It is just the encouragement I needed. I will continue to try to contact others instead of asking why no body ever contacts me. Encouraging others is one of my gifts and I need to continue to use it. I am not sure who I will contact first but I will start somewhere. Thank you again for your devotional and the message is received. Fannie in Kansas.
    [email protected]

  31. I shared this on my email and facebook. I find myself constantly checking facebook to make sure I haven't missed anything important!! I definitely plan on cutting my fb time and try to spend more face-to-face time with friends!!

  32. Thank you for reminding me that our friends are a very important part of our life.I have a friend that we would get togeter once a week and spend time together for the day just talking. We have not done that in a while. Life just got to busy. I miss this day and I am going to call her today and make plans to get together. I also need to vist an elderly friend and help her with some crafts she loves company and I am so happy that she is my friend because her wisdom and Godly wasys are so good for me.

  33. I posted this on my facebook page; also want to let you know it spoke to my heart also; am planning a gathering of a few of my sisters in Chirst for a brunch on Saturday.

    Alease

  35. I shared this post on Facebook!!!!! I have emailed with several friends today about getting together soon!

  36. Guilty – that is me, but good to know we are not alone and connection with others is something God has for us. As I've thought about this through the day, a quote from your book comes to mind – "worry robs us of peace in our relationships." That thought has been on my mind lately but God really brought it all together after reading this devo and reflecting on my friendships. I know God uses the face to face time I share with friends to bless me, help me grow and keep me accountable, but when life takes over and distance between those connections increase worry sets in – I find myself thinking (worrying) what I did wrong, why doesn't she want to spend time with me and on and on. All that does is push me further away and like you said robs me of peace!!! It's so obvious satan doesn't want us spending time with Godly friends, but all too often he doesn't get the blame.

    Immediately following reading your devo God brought a friend to mind, one who I'd began "doubting" wanted to be my friend. But before I could dial her number, she had already dialed mine. I've shared about the book and would highly recommend reading it with a friend – not only will it connect friends with friends but also with God!!!

    Thanks for sharing your encouraging words with us Renee!!!
    Jill

  37. I love this post. I'm a new follower. I shared it on twitter. Thank you for the reminder of the importance of friends. I would love to share this book and a coffee with my friend Ashley.

  38. Renee,

    I loved this devotional as it really applies to my life right now. I shared your post and I plan to call my good friend, Sheri, today. Thanks for sharing!

  39. I forgot to add, I was a table leader for Overcoming Depression by Neil Anderson. When the group ended, the ladies wanted more, so I plan to meet them in two weeks for a cup of coffee and follow up on what we had decided to do to help with depression. I am going to see if God will open the door to meet and encourage them monthly. Once again my tendency is to isolate but I made the committment and I will follow through because of the blessings that God gives me when I am with friends. Blessings Diana

  40. Renee, I often wonder why I can tell people on the internet at my group support things that I do not share. I shared with my closest friend and I accept your challenge.I am meeting with a friend tonight for dinner when everything in my being wants to cancel so I can go straight home after work. I know in my depression, I isolate, so sometimes I am more social than other. What is the girl scout song, "Keep Old friends but make new ones, one is silver and the other gold." Blessings. Diana

  44. This is just what I needed today. I don't really know what to say. I don't go crazy with my e-mail or any other web site, or even texting. I think somehow I just shut off…or got shut off. My attempts to reach out have not been good lately, and I need it so bad. I have my husband, and he is wonderful, but it's not the same as sharing your inmost stuff with a sister. Everyone is so busy. Thank you again so much…

  45. Renee,

    This was a great post. I have a friend who lives in the midwest, so it is hard to have face to face time, however we try to get phone time for catching up and praying. We just did that this morning. It is so awesome for both of us as we get to share what our needs/concerns are as well as the praise reports on how God has answered. Thanks for the encouragement.

  47. I love this post. My three best friends keep telling me that they're praying I find a face-to-face friend near where I live. They live over three hours away from me so I may only see them once or twice a year. I long for a friend near me. I do have friends at church but they never have time for me and we don't talk outside of church.

    I love the suggestions you gave and most of them my spiritual mom has suggested to me or are things that I've been wanting to do with her and our two best friends. One is get away for a weekend. My spiritual mom and our two best friends get together once a week to do a Bible study and pray and she wants me to be able to do that with a friend.

    I have shared your post with my spiritual mom and others through email. I do thank God because I may not have a face-to-face friend right now but I have good email friends.

  48. Thanks so much! I just sent this link to my new friend Laura. God brought her into my life when I really needed her. And you are SO right about checking emails…I am guilty of that too but am going to do better.

  50. Renee, I'm sharing about the book via Facebook and Twitter. I'm also looking forward to a "get together" with a friend in Europe via Skype tonight! 🙂 I've been looking forward to your book's released, and I can't wait to read it and share it with friends in my women's ministry!