“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)
Christmas was only days away and we still didn’t have a tree. Living on a college-student’s budget with our first baby on the way, we were scraping by and couldn’t bring ourselves to spend $25-50 on something we didn’t need. It seemed kind of trivial when I told God how sad I felt that we couldn’t afford a Christmas tree. Then I felt guilty knowing there were others who needed so much more.
On our way home from a friend’s house the Sunday night before Christmas, my husband, J.J. and I noticed the tree lot near our apartment had marked all their trees down to $10! Grins stretched across our faces as we made plans to buy one Monday night as soon as J.J. got home from his part-time job.
The next evening we walked down each row of the tree lot looking for just the right spruce to fit in the corner of our one-bedroom apartment. Feeling sentimental and slightly maternal, I realized that picking our first Christmas tree was going to be almost as difficult as choosing our child’s name.
I took way too much time. The sun went down quickly, the tree-lot started to close and the spotlights shut down. There we were, standing in the pitch dark without a tree.
My creative and very patient husband pulled his car into the rows of trees and flashed on his high beams. Suddenly, the bright lights dispelled the darkness and standing in front of me was the most precious tree I’d ever seen. Although it had some droopy branches and a gap on one side, I pointed at it and told J.J., “That’s the one I want!”
Later that night, with my hands wrapped around a cup of hot cocoa, I sat on our couch looking at our little tree. I remembered how sad I felt earlier when the darkness made it impossible to see the trees. Yet, when the beams of light illuminated the lot, my heart filled with hope.
Etched in my mind was a picture I wouldn’t forget, a memory that drew me back to another time marked by darkness – a time when I wasn’t choosing, but needed to be chosen.
Just when it felt like all my dreams had died and my hope was gone, the Light of God’s unfailing love punctured the clouds of darkness and depression surrounding my mind. It happened on another cold winter’s eve in January 1989 while I was sitting in the balcony of a church hoping to hear something that would fill the empty places in my heart. Feeling His Spirit tugging on my heart, whispering words I longed to hear, I sensed God saying, “Renee, you are the one I want.”
He’d been trying to tell me for years, but I had allowed the wounds of my past and the words of others to convince me that no one would ever want me.
At some point, I think most of us have felt like the little Christmas tree and me. Scarred by disappointments, we wonder if anyone would ever choose us. With gaps that make us feel like candidates for rejection, we hope no one will notice our inadequacies. And like the fate of my spruce pine, it seems the only way we’ll get chosen is if all the good ones are picked first.
First Peter 2:9 reminds us that through Christ we are chosen! God sent His Son to light our darkness and fill the gaps in our hearts. Sweet friend, I pray that you will hold onto the truth that God sees you today, and He wants you to hear Him declaring with all His heart, “You are the one I want!”
Dear Lord, that spruce pine and I have a lot in common. Even with my gaps and broken branches, You chose me and made me part of Your family through Jesus. Thank You for sending Your Son to bring Light in the dark corners of my life and to bring endless hope to my heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Today, I’m also sharing this post on Karen Ehman’s blog as part of her 12-days of Christmas giveaways, and giving away a special gift pack that includes:
- A signed copy of my book, A Confident Heart
- A “Living in the Security of God’s Promises” – printable
- A Bath & Body Words Christmas treat
- A Starbucks gift card
To enter once, click “Share Your Thoughts” below. To enter twice, enter below and hop over to Karen’s blog to enter again.
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This resonates with me in my current situation – thanks for the enlightenment.
Thanks Renee for always reminding me that I am beautiful and God loves me so much. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Going through a stressful time and needed to hear that. Thank you.
I believe your message was written today to speak to me. I received it in my inbox an hour after I had a breakdown crying out to God as to why my husband no longer wants me and wants a divorce. I am reminded that God has chosen me even if no one else has. Thank you Renee for this powerful message of hope for me! God bless you and have a wonderful Christmas!
Renee, I wish I could carry you in my pocket to remind me of this all the time! I can get so wrapped up in my “trials” that I forget that the loving, Almighty Creator is also behind the trials and is helping me through them. I see my friends going through such heavy times and I can’t do anything but pray for them and offer an encouraging word. I’ve read your book and love it! Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
I feel like that little tree with its gaps and scars. My kids and I have had a very difficult year and I see myself in the mirror aging faster than Mary Kay or Oil of Olay can keep up with. I am so thankful to be reminded that Christ chose me and that I chose to answer his call.
Thanks for sharing you story It really what I needed to hear.
I needed this post today. Feeling rather low today due to a few things going on and I was really blessed by your words. Thank you for being used of the Lord to share His love with others and encourage weary hearts.
I feel this way very often. Especially now as we are living with my parents that are not church goers and my girls are picking things up that is not of God. I feel like a failure often and a bad mother. We don’t have insurance and that just adds to the failure. I’ve been job hunting for over a year. I finally found something but it is making very very little but its a job. My husband does work but his hours are all over the place. I needed to read this today because we are really trying to give up all our control and our plans and dreams for His plans and dreams to be fulfilled in our lives. Even if I don’t win I ask you pray God will work in our lives to glorify Him in all we do!!!!!
Thanks for sharing and for the giveaway.
I can hear your voice as I read your message. Thank you for the reminder that God chose me. I needed to hear that today.
Would love to win a copy of your book to give away to my friend!
Blessings,
Love this story 🙂 thanks for sharing with us
I loved the analogy of being like the little tree no one would want and of the light shining through the darkness. Thank you for sharing.
How we need reminded of being chosen by Him! Thanks for that reminder and encouragement.
Your message really touched my heart. You are such a gifted writer. Thanks for sharing!
After spending time with the Father I read this and it just reinforced what the Father had put in my Spirit that He did choose me. Thank You for being faithful to the Holy Spirit in sharing this. Many blessings to you and yours.
What a powerful message! Thank you for reminding me that God chose me.
A real tree! I love the time together with family to decorate it, and then sitting in the dark and turning on the warm glow of the Christmas tree lights.
I’m wrapping up a study on your book A Confident Heart this week with women from my church. Thank you for sharing yourself and what God has taught you. It’s been the best small group I’ve ever been a part of because women are choosing to believe Truth and pursue God. I am so grateful.