Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.
When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.
I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.
It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”
He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.
As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?
But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.
I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.
That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
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Today’s Mom Give-Aways
Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!
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Renee, I loved your devotional. Today was a hard morning. Many of those that I want to just give up and am crying out what am I doing wrong…am I losing my child’s heart, am I truely not able to do this!!!
I have a beautiful, smart 8 year old daughter. And my days can be overwhelming as I am a full time employee and part time student at night.
I’m thankful for your devotion. The Lord spoke to me thru it.
Thank you.
God Bless!!!
Michelle
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Renee thank you so much for sharing your story! Often times we as moms sit back and view other moms as being perfect, so put together with obedient children. It’s very easy to get discouraged in a world full of negative influences. My 14 yr old often wakes with a negative attitude and its hard to not take it personal, my 18 yr old moved in with her boyfriend and has a 1 yr old (not how I invisioned my daughters life to be at 18), and my 16 month old son is very demanding. All of these isssues not to exclude my hubby, housework, laundry, cooking, accounting for my hubby’s business, shopping, still combining households(married almost 2 yrs), and the new addition construction on the house…..contribute to my feelings of overwhelming disparity. I feel pulled from all directions and feel like throwing my hands up and yelling “I quit!” Only in Gods word do I feel renewed. If it were not for KSBJ and their uplifting music and Godly words all day, who knows how deep that pit would be that I was digging formyself.
I’m a newbie to Proverbs 31 and I thank God I found you! Unfortunately I couldn’t get tix for “Girls Night Out”, but next time you come to Houston I’ll be there! Thank you for your daily words of encouragement!
I loved today’s devotion it really spoke to me. I was a single mother of a 10 year old about two years ago and now I am a wife and a bonus mama to 3 more kids (he was a single dad). So now I have a 12 yr old, 10,8 and 5. This was a huge change for me and at times I feel that the should act a certain way and be proper all the time, not be loud or act out in public. But that stuff just happens (oh yea and by the way the all have 4 different but unique personalities). At times I felt as though I failed as a bonus mom but realized that God placed me here and he chose me for them for a reason, and this devotion just reminded me that it’s not in my strength but in God’s. But, don’t get me wrong I love my life and my kids and would not trade my blessed life for anything. He placed me there and It’s my job now to find their individual GOLD (thru all the dirt lol). So thanks you for those words of encouragement that encourages me to regroup.
And I’m so, so excited to be going to see you ladies tomorrow in Houston.
GoD Bless me as I Mine for Gold.
Alvesa
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I so enjoyed your devotion today. It is just what I needed to hear.
I have a 12 year old son, and two daughters ages 9 and 7.
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Self criticism is one of my worst downfalls. It seems I am my own enemy in this department. I get the P31 devotion by email each and today’s touched me so much that I clicked over to your site and read further about mining for Gold. It has really inspired me. God definitely used you to speak to me this morning. Thank you so much.
My son is 5 yrs old. He is the only child his birthday is in july. We decided to wait til next year to sent him to school. Brayden is probably like most kids at his age. He thinks everything is suppose to happen right when he says or wants it. Lately I feel he’s not apprecating things we give him or do for him. He is not wanting to help out around the house with little chores either. My husband says spank him more I don’t want to be spanking him all the time. I ‘ve been praying I will be a better mom and positive role model to him.
WOW your devotion came at just the right time. GOD has a way if we will stop to listen
Thank you Becky
Renee, thank you for sharing your heart today about this topic. I have a sweet little boy who just turned 2 and one due in 7 weeks. My son is starting to enter a new phase of independence and opinions, and I often find myself feeling the frustration and discouragement you talked about. This devotion really touched my heart and helped me to see how important it is to shift my focus and start digging for the gold I know is there. Thanks again!
Tara
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Thank You
Renee, your devotional today is just what I needed. I have three teenagers in the house 19,16,13. I struggle everyday with the decisions that come with being a mom of teenagers. Friends with younger children in my moms group ask if it gets better as the get older. I just tell them the truth that you just move on to the next chapter. So I am going to look for the Gold in my children today.
Renee, thank you!
I have 2 children. One is 10 and the other is 2.
I never really had any problems with my 10 year old until now. He is becoming a smart ailek. And coupled with that, we have the toddler who has shaken me to the core as to whether I am a good mom or not, because his brother was so CALM. I thought it was me.
I am thankful to be reminded that I don’t have to do this on my own. GOD is the best parent with attributes of both a father and a mother.
My e-mail is [email protected].
Thanks again!
Jennifer
Thanks for this encouragement and the follow up. It’s become very helpful to me. I have four children, ages 13, 8, 5, and 3 and no matter how old they get and how much I think I’ve learned about parenting, new challenges arise. Mining for gold is something the Lord has put on my heart for many years with my children and used you to remind me of that. Thanks again!
Sara Jo Poff
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Thanks Renee for being real with us. Parenting sure is a big task and you don’t get the training beforehand like you do for most careers! I’ve been wading through the mire for too much of the time in parenting too and longing to see some gold in myself. I have a 5 year old daughter and a 2 year old son.
Gert [email protected]
Your devotions are always so eye opening and love how universal they are. I have a little boy that is 2 and could definately apply this with him.
Renee, thanks for the devotion today. My son is 5 and my daughter is 3. I find myself focusing on the no so much of the time. Just last week in a Bible study we were reminded of a verse “Mark the blameless man” and it has stuck in my brain. Every time I see my kids do the right thing, I go over and tell them how proud of them I am and ‘mark the blameless man’ Keep up the great work and I will be reading everyday.
Melony
Your devotional today spoke to my heart, because I made it one of my New Year’s “resolutions” this year to focus on my children’s good qualities and behaviors, rather than focusing on the “bad” ones. I love the gold mining analogy!
My children are ages 8 and 6.
Thanks, Renee!
Help my unbelief…. Thank you for being a vessel to allow God’s arms embrace me today about my kids… two boys 81/2, and 9, adopted and with special needs (I think I’m the one with the REAL need)Plus I’m just beginning a study about ‘Believing God’ and God’s timing is perfect…Do i really believe He is who He says He is? That He can do (enable me to be a better mom in His strength)what He says He can do? That I am who He says that I am? That because of that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me? That God’s Word is alive and active in me?….Hmmm, not just head stuff but heart and somtimes 12″ is aloooong way. Thank you again for confirming that God is always able!
With two boys, 4 and 2, your story could not have come at a better time. Thank you for being honest. Just when I was starting to think that I was the only one.
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Heather
I have two sons; their ages are 17 and 2. Unfortunately it has been a long time since I felt like “gold”. I prayed for children (God has a sense of humor 15 years of refining) but my second pregnancy was rough; the baby was a preemie and we almost lost him. I praise the Lord that he is doing well. Believe me my kids are my life and I thank God dearly for them.
The gold that I’m referring to is the one described in Job 23:10 (when He has tried me I shall come forth as pure gold). “Pure” is not what I learned in life so discouragement is what I face and feelings of uselessness and un-fulfillment is what I know best. I love my family but I feel like I have to please everyone and at the end of the day I am left empty.
I work outside of home so I have many hats to wear and I always feel that I am separating myself into many. I have a lot of dirt in my life so I can’t wait for the day for the Lord to display me as refined gold.
Princess
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Renee,wWhat a blessing to have God speak to me this morning through your devotion, digging through my dirt to encourage me that there is gold somewhere deep in my heart.
I am a single parent to two beautiful and intelligent daughters, ages 12 and 14. I can see the gold underneath the dirt in them but somehow I seem to fail at helping them discover the gold God has within them.
Due to our circumstances, one daughter believes God has abandoned her and refuses to acknowledge God’s presence or purpose for her existence. Which of course breaks my heart. However, God is right here with us and I know God will not stop loving her. I just continue to pray for her, trying subtly to show her the nuggets of gold that is within her.
Thanks so much for sharing as God leads you.
In His grip!
Karen
Wow I have seriously been struggling with this and was deciding when I was going to go to a Christian Bookstore and wander up and down the mom isle. 🙂 I was looking forward to it but also overwhelmed by where to start. I have so been that mom lately trapped in guilt over things I’m not doing and most of all like you said comparing myself to everyone around me. I think a nasty habit I have fallen into lately is comparing myself to moms who have these awesome blogs when of course really, honestly noone shows the not so great pics of their kids and the nitty gritty moments around the house. There’s not a tantrum picture to be seen anywhere??? 🙂 And such an exciting thing my husband and I have been called to do is adopt a child from another country, something we KNOW is a calling in our life and I have been struggling with how I am going to be the mom I’m supposed to be to this child when I feel this way about the two I already have…. But praise to the Lord who has been stirring my heart lately about this same thing and led me to the Crosswalk devotion today and then here. I am not going to let Satan trap me in guilt! Thank you thank you thank you for this today! Praise God for leading me on this path to be the mother I am supposed to be!
Wendy
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Thank you so much for this devotional today, Renee. I can relate to this on every level. My three girls are 2, 4, and 8. I often feel like handing in my pink slip, and have been known to lock myself in the closet to escape the arguing of my kids….I am so encouraged today. My heart is lifted, and I am going to go gold-mining starting today!
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