As we begin this journey together, I want you to know where I started as a mom. I didn’t start out as a can-do mom with can-do thoughts and can-do kids. No. Those whiny give-up attitudes my son displayed in yesterday’s devotion were inherited from me. I was quite familiar with the sidelines of mommy life, where I would often stand and declare “I CAN’T.”
I was discouraged.
Once my kids became toddlers who would not listen to me and obey me like robots, I panicked. I looked at other moms who seemed to know what they were doing. They enjoyed being a mom. Me? Not so much. I would often wonder, “What is wrong with me? Their children listen when they tell them no. Why will my child not keep his hands to himself in the grocery store or the toy isle? Why didn’t someone tell me this would be so hard!?”
I felt like a failure.
I compared how I felt on the inside to how other moms looked like they had it all together on the outside. My feelings of inadequacy and thoughts of insecurity were held up in comparison to moms who dressed their children in matching outfits and adorned themselves with attitudes of grace and wisdom. I wondered how in the world they pulled it off with a smile? I could barely get a shower, get my kids dressed and get us out the door before lunch!
I wanted to quit.
One day I came home from running errands with two whiny toddlers. I put them down for a nap and searched for pink construction paper so I could write “I QUIT” on it. I was going to hand my “pink slip” to JJ when he came home from work that day. It was just too hard, and I was tired of feeling like I would never measure up as a mom.
And that’s where I started.
I didn’t really start being a mom until the day I almost quit. Because that was the day I fell on my knees before God and choked out the words, “I can’t do this.” And it was as though He bent down on His knees in front of me and spoke into my heart and said, “You are right, Renee. In your own strength and through your own perspective, you cannot do this. But I am here with you. And with my grace, my mercy, my promise, my presence, my power – with ME – all things are possible. You can do this through Christ – who will give you strength!
That day became a beautiful picture of Psalm 18:35 for me, “You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.”
No matter where we are in our motherhood journey, this can be our new starting point. Let’s acknowledge together that on our own we’re a mess, but with His gentleness, grace, wisdom and guidance, we can become the mom He calls us to be; the mom we want to be; and the mom our kids need us to be.
Father, give us your shield of victory as moms, and protect us from discouragement. Extend Your right hand to sustain us; you grace to strengthen us; and your wisdom to lead us. Give us your thoughts and your ways that are not naturally our own. Thank you that through your Son, you not only stooped down to make us great, but you came down to make us great because of Your great love for us. We love you, and we begin this journey not looking back, but looking up and looking forward to where you will lead us one step at a time. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Copyright 2009. Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
Today we’re giving a copy of Angela Thomas’ best-seller “My Single Mom Life”. It’s a great book whether you’re single or married, offering encouragement and wisdom all mom’s need. From mommy guilt, living with integrity, setting healthy boundaries, lonely mom syndrome, living the amazing life God has for you and your kids each day, Angela covers it all. I am reading it now and loving it! Winners will be drawn from today’s comments. Be sure to include your email address so we can contact you if you win the give-away.
All winners will be announced Saturday morning. And don’t forget, each Friday we’ll be giving away two tickets to the D6 Conference. So be sure to come back for more encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries! If you’d like to get a reminder each time I post, be sure to click on bloglines in my sidebar.
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I’m so glad that God is providing this right now. Thank you for your work at sharing this study with us.
I’ve raised my girls up in a christian home and took them to church all their life. They both have done very well…however I’m at the stage where my oldest has graduated college in 4 yrs with honors and is living by herself 2 hours away from me and still is working at the partime jobs she had while attending college. I know she is struggling with her way in life and finding a full time job…even with a college education. I want to be supportive of her but I know I need to stop fininacially supporting her. This is such a hard call for me to know how to do it without causing problems in our relationship. If anyone has any experience of how I can do this please share. I’m going to follow this study and trust that God is guiding me along the way.
Jill
Great encouragement! I know I have been there too when I felt like I needed to quit this mother job. Thanks for reminding us to look up and not compare to others.
Thanks,
Shelley
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Forgot to leave my email address for ColleenB – single mom with 2 teens! [email protected]
Thank you for sharing. I needed to read this today. I am a recently single mother of two teens. My daughter lives with me and is encountering issues and problems that I am trying desperately to help her with. My son still resides with his father in another state and being away from him is tearing me apart. Reading these makes me realize that I am certainly not alone and that even when I want to shout “I can’t do this anymore” I still manage to put one foot in front of the other knowing that God is with me.
ColleenB
As I searched for guidance on raising my four children alone and this morning’s issue of just struggling to get my high school senior (and his shadow, 7 year old brother) out of bed to go to school , I’ve found hope with your words and I know that I, too, can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thank you.
Sherry
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kristyb
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Renee,
I seemed to do great when my three were small. We had great schedules, they listened well(most of the time), and we had fun (they were all 2 yrs apart), BUT then they became 12 and had a mind to do things their way and THOUGHT they knew it all! Whew, the years from 12-16 have been the toughest for me. Now that they are 16-20 they appreciate the fact that they were disciplined and we didn’t go with the understanding that they were always right! Sometimes mom does know best (when she is seeking Gods will). There are still days when I feel overwhelmed with motherhood, but I long for those days when they were small, their needs were so much more simple.
So, to those with younger children, keep on raising your children in a godly manor and yes one day they WILL say thanks!
Love to you friend,
Margaret
I’m so glad I stopped by your blog today….and read all the comments too!! It’s nice to know that as a mom, I am not alone in my feelings of sometimes being an absolute failure in that role! I, too have wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits….thinking that I was hindering my children not helping them……we, as moms, are truly on this journey together, and God who has blessed us with our children(though at times they don’t seem much like blessings:)will help us to raise them, not only by His Word, but also by the transperency and wisdom from other moms who have been there, done that. Thank you, Renee for your honesty and wisdom!! I have missed reading your blogs….I am officially back!
Just the post I needed for today. Thanks.
Reading these blogs seem to be right on time. I'm still trying to find a healthy balance between working Mom & at home Mom. It feels good to see that I'm not in this struggle alone.
Well, that describes me exactly…frustrated, discouraged and not all together.
Renee B.
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As I read about encouraging a child to have an “I can” attitude, I thought about how I needed to apply this “can-do” attitude to my professional life. As a veteran teacher of 21 years and a mother of 3, I am often discouraged by every additional task educators are required to do with no additional time built into the workday to accomplish these tasks. I simply cannot take any more time away from my family to do even more work at home. Just this morning, I was wondering how I could continue to do this for job another nine years. My youngest will be 15 when I become eligible for 30 year retirement, so I will always have “Mama” obligations while I work. Now I know. I, too, will be a “can-do” kid and trust God to help me do all that is required of me and do a great job with my students. It is certain that I can do nothing without Him.
Thanks for the gentle reminder.
Renee, thanks for your honesty. I have been there as well and you’re so right alone we can’t do the job our kids need or God wants. Just wish I would constantly stay in that place where I give Him all control, would make things better. But it is a journey…blessings to you as it continues.
Jill
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These blogs are so helpful to me. It certainly provides reassurance that I’m not alone! Trying to be a good mother to 3 children (2 teenagers, 1 knocking on the door, an encouraging, devoted wife, all while working full time can become very overwhelming. Thanks for all the useful information and resources!
I am new to this website but am thinking it will be of great use to me as a Children and Family Director at my church. Thanks for the resources and the real sharing from the heart. I’m a mom of teenagers as well……
ColleenG
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Renee,
I’m so glad your posting these blogs. They are such a blessing. I struggle so much in the motherhood department. Thanks for being an encouragment to me.
Paula G.
so described where I am right now with my three kids. They go to school all day long and between the hours of 3 and 5 I just want to quit. I miss them so much during the day and 5 minutes after they’re home I begin wishing they were back at school. Clearly I don’t have a clue as to what a mom is supposed to be or do.
I am so thrilled to have received your devotion about “Can-do” kids today. I have begun working with my and my husband’s daughter to prepare her for starting kindergarten in August. It can be frustrating since she went to K4 for a semester and I’m having to reteach her some things the correct way. She’s super smart and now I can encourage her (instead of getting frustrated) with the “can-do” philosophy. Encouraging and supporting her is a big thing for us so hearing a new way to do it is great. Thanks so much!
Karen McKay
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Renee, thanks for your honesty. I have been there as well and you’re so right alone we can’t do the job our kids need or God wants. Just wish I would constantly stay in that place where I give Him all control, would make things better. But it is a journey…blessings to you as it continues.
Jill
[email protected]
Renee,
I’m so glad your posting these blogs. They are such a blessing. I struggle so much in the motherhood department. Thanks for being an encouragment to me.
Paula G.