My friend Suzie just released her book, The Unburdened Heart, and I’m so excited about the power and potential of her life-changing message. I had the honor of writing the foreword for her book, and I’d love to share my heart with you about it – today:
I don’t know exactly when it started. I just remember feeling angry and frustrated with my husband – almost every single day – on and off for months. One evening after an argument, J.J. told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough.
He was right, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of being mean and miserable so I started asking God to show me what was going on. To help me figure out how, after seven years of a fairly happy marriage, we had gotten to this ugly place.
Over time I sensed God was showing me that I wanted J.J. to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. I think I was trying to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” and in doing so I became very controlling and critical.
You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.
My unforgiving heart and unfulfilled hopes had created bitter expectations. I thought if I could get J.J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken past and shattered dreams could be put back together.
I knew I needed to deal with my pain, but I couldn’t just forgive and forget it. It wasn’t that easy. There were layers of hurts and issues I’d never dealt with.
I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it. Then I carved out time each week to unpack the memories and events that led me to this hard place and then I allowed God to heal them.
I asked Jesus to help me grieve the loss of things I wanted that I would never have from my dad. And I asked Him to walk me through the steps of forgiving my father so I could release the anger, abandonment and hurt that had held me prisoner for so long.
It was a process that took time, prayer and courage, but it was worth it. I was worth it. My marriage was worth it.
Like most people, I didn’t want to face my pain. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want to dig it all up. But I am so glad I did! Through it all, God showed me how to let go of my past hurts so I could take hold of hope and healing I never thought I would find.
As I worked through what happened in my childhood, and how it was affecting my marriage, I realized I needed the help of a friend. I needed someone who had walked a similar road to come alongside me to offer wisdom and another perspective in my healing journey.
Through the pages of The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller is that friend. Offering wisdom and a heart full of compassion, Suzie will come beside you and mentor you each step of the way. Yet Suzie doesn’t just share from a place of knowing about forgiveness; she writes from a place of living it and giving it, when it’s hard.
One thing I love about Suzie and the message she lives, is that she’s not a cookie-cutter Christian. She won’t just say, “You need to forgive.” She knows it’s not that easy, but she also cares too much to leave you in that hard place. Instead, she’ll take your hand and walk you through the process, sharing her story as you look at yours.
Bringing depth to the layers of a forgiving-life, Suzie will help you explore the different meanings of forgiveness as she walks with you through your unique journey. She’ll also introduce you to amazing women and men who have offered their hearts, their stories and their courage to help you recover yours!
Chapter by chapter Suzie will invite you, even urge you at times, into a place of hope and healing because she wants you to experience the sacred transformation that forgiveness brings.
I hope you’ll accept her invitation. It will require time, courage and perseverance but you are worth what it takes. You see, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we offer it to others. In doing so, we don’t forgive so we can forget. We forgive, as we have been forgiven, so we can be set free from our past and live with confident hope in our future.
I’m giving away 2 copies of Suzie’s book – The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. This your invitation to discover the freedom of forgiveness. Enter to receive a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” to share your thoughts or simply let us know why you’d like to win a copy of Suzie’s book. {If you are reading this via email, click here to enter to win.}
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Renee, your post just perfectly described how I feel towards my husband right now – anger, bitterness, unforgiveness for not being able to provide for our family so that I don’t have to work. I know…how selfish of me but just honest. I know the problem is with me but I have not been successful at forgiving. I would love to win this book..
I believe I need to soak in the truths of this book and therefore am entering. When finished I could pass it along… God Bless!
As a child, I was abused by my Dad and used to get men by my Mom. My Dad died @ 57 and my Mom @ 61 and I grew to have so much anger for them in my heart. When I talked to my brother about all this, he said my Mom knew what my Dad did to me and I can’t help but know that my Dad knew that my Mom liked men.
Long story. I am 63 years old now and still try to deal with a long hard past childhood. The sad thing for me is, I am a Christian and even a Deacon at my Church. I know about forgiveness and what harboring anger can do to you. After all these years I am still trying to work through it.
Pray for me and thank you for listening to “part” of my story. Paula Ashton
I enjoyed meeting you at Willowbrook Baptist Church this past weekend. You did an amazing job on your messages an it helped me in the season I am in now. I would love to have a copy or this book, I am sure it would speak to my heart. God Bless You an your ministry.
Forgiveness is somthing I know I need to work on. It has been much too easy for me to abandon a relationship than to forgive and heal. And the only person that is hurting is me. I look forward to reading this book.
I would love to read this book!
Sounds like one we all could benefit from reading!
Count me in- and I am so looking for going through your Online Bible Study this round!
Forgiveness is so important….I would love to read the book for my own benefit, but i would also like to be able to come alongside others who are in need of help. Thank you for this opportunity 🙂
Renee…I’m in that hard place now with my husband. Loved this! I need to forgive in many areas and I also need to be forgiven.
I would be thrilled to have a copy of this book. Thank you.
I would love this book!!! I am currently helping one of my children and another teen (completely different situation) to deal with forgiveness so they can be free of this burden; free to love; free from bitterness, which will eat you alive; and free to live life more abundantly!!! THANKS. 🙂
I would love to read this, to learn to unburden my heart while remaining approachable, vulnerable and joyful.
I would love to read this book. I am involved in a new ministry at church that is giving baby clothes to single parents. From what I am reading about the book it would be a very good one for me to read to be able to share with new believers as they start their journey with Christ. Forgiveness of other, God and self is detrimental to your relationships and your body. Having a book to come along side and help with the process would make a world of difference.
This book sounds great. Thanks for making it available.
I can’t seem to figure out why life is so un-explainable sometimes. I can’t wait to read this book.
I would LOVE a copy of this book, not for me but for my best friend. Your opening statement was like reading her life! As a small group we are trying to help but we don’t have the knowledge to lead her and her husband through it,( besides encouraging to pray and seek counseling)
I would absolutely love to give this encouragement and guidance so she can discover (without being preached at by us) how to let go and let God!
Thank you so much for this opportunity!!!!
Blessings!
Danielle
I need to forgivemy my father for never being a part of my life, my mother for her crazy unpredictable behaviors, my mothers boy friend for sexually abusing me at a vary young age, and now my husband for abandoning me emotionally and for betraying my trust. I find myself so bitter and angry. All my relationships suffer. the one that breaks my heart the most, is my relationship with my kids. They are sweet, smart and funny. I am harsh and emotionally unavailable. I know I need to learn to forgive so that I can be the mother they deserve.
I don’t have any exciting, eye catching things to say to make you want to pick me for receiving this book. I just know that there are many things in my life that have happened that I need to be able to forgive myself and others for. From what I have seen already, I think this book might lead me closer to having that happen. Thank you for even considering giving the book away at all. I am sure that God will lead you to the ones who will benifit from it the most. Thank you for your ministry.
Forgiveness is something we all struggle with and as a woman who is fighting the spiritual battle to save my marriage I can truly say forgiveness is a daily struggle. When there is an experience of betrayal in a marriage but yet you know in your heart that God is telling you to stand for a marriage that to the rest of the world is dead, we have to start with forgiveness, which is why I signed up for the bible study that Suzie is doing and why I would love to win a copy.
I would like this book for a friend. She lost someone she was close to and has had a hard time with forgiveness. The person/family member she was close to was a victim of a henous crime. I wouldn’t even know where to begin as far as helping her and this would be perfect.