My friend Suzie just released her book, The Unburdened Heart, and I’m so excited about the power and potential of her life-changing message. I had the honor of writing the foreword for her book, and I’d love to share my heart with you about it – today:
I don’t know exactly when it started. I just remember feeling angry and frustrated with my husband – almost every single day – on and off for months. One evening after an argument, J.J. told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough.
He was right, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of being mean and miserable so I started asking God to show me what was going on. To help me figure out how, after seven years of a fairly happy marriage, we had gotten to this ugly place.
Over time I sensed God was showing me that I wanted J.J. to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. I think I was trying to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” and in doing so I became very controlling and critical.
You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.
My unforgiving heart and unfulfilled hopes had created bitter expectations. I thought if I could get J.J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken past and shattered dreams could be put back together.
I knew I needed to deal with my pain, but I couldn’t just forgive and forget it. It wasn’t that easy. There were layers of hurts and issues I’d never dealt with.
I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it. Then I carved out time each week to unpack the memories and events that led me to this hard place and then I allowed God to heal them.
I asked Jesus to help me grieve the loss of things I wanted that I would never have from my dad. And I asked Him to walk me through the steps of forgiving my father so I could release the anger, abandonment and hurt that had held me prisoner for so long.
It was a process that took time, prayer and courage, but it was worth it. I was worth it. My marriage was worth it.
Like most people, I didn’t want to face my pain. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want to dig it all up. But I am so glad I did! Through it all, God showed me how to let go of my past hurts so I could take hold of hope and healing I never thought I would find.
As I worked through what happened in my childhood, and how it was affecting my marriage, I realized I needed the help of a friend. I needed someone who had walked a similar road to come alongside me to offer wisdom and another perspective in my healing journey.
Through the pages of The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller is that friend. Offering wisdom and a heart full of compassion, Suzie will come beside you and mentor you each step of the way. Yet Suzie doesn’t just share from a place of knowing about forgiveness; she writes from a place of living it and giving it, when it’s hard.
One thing I love about Suzie and the message she lives, is that she’s not a cookie-cutter Christian. She won’t just say, “You need to forgive.” She knows it’s not that easy, but she also cares too much to leave you in that hard place. Instead, she’ll take your hand and walk you through the process, sharing her story as you look at yours.
Bringing depth to the layers of a forgiving-life, Suzie will help you explore the different meanings of forgiveness as she walks with you through your unique journey. She’ll also introduce you to amazing women and men who have offered their hearts, their stories and their courage to help you recover yours!
Chapter by chapter Suzie will invite you, even urge you at times, into a place of hope and healing because she wants you to experience the sacred transformation that forgiveness brings.
I hope you’ll accept her invitation. It will require time, courage and perseverance but you are worth what it takes. You see, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we offer it to others. In doing so, we don’t forgive so we can forget. We forgive, as we have been forgiven, so we can be set free from our past and live with confident hope in our future.
I’m giving away 2 copies of Suzie’s book – The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. This your invitation to discover the freedom of forgiveness. Enter to receive a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” to share your thoughts or simply let us know why you’d like to win a copy of Suzie’s book. {If you are reading this via email, click here to enter to win.}
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I believe this could help me and my sister tremulously.
Hello. I just came across this on Facebook, I’m a huge fan of the Proverbs 31 ministry. Decided to click on the link and am like, wow, this is actually something I need right now. I’m in a womens small group/bible study where the last couple of studies we did have started unpacking some feelings I didn’t realize I had suppressed regarding forgiveness, especially toward my parents, that I had ‘forgotten’ about. I am trying to process these things myself but don’t really know how to do that. A lot of the things I’ve have done, especially in my teens/20’s makes sense to me now. I am now 51! Better late than never to sort these things out. I would LOVE a copy of this book to help me through that.
I have learned that I have not truly forgiven like I thought I had. That it takes more than just saying the words I forgive you but also showing it with my actions.
My husband has filed for divorce and after reading your story I feel as if I am in the exact same situation and share the exact same feelings. I want so desperately to make my marriage work but my husband is unwilling and wants to give up without even giving us a chance. I know that he is not in my control, but there are things that I can do and change to make me a better wife. We just had a baby, 5 months ago, and I feel like my world is falling apart. I turn to God for strength and patience as I work through my issues. I really feel I need some true guidance on how to turn things over to Him and try to find peace during this storm. I love reading many of the books suggested on Proverbs 31 and feel I could only benefit from reading this one as well.
I have watched the discussions about this book on a few different Facebook websites. I was just talking to a friend about it tonight and how I struggle with forgiveness and brought up this book. I got off the phone and there’s a free giveaway. I take it as confirmation from God.
Forgiveness. Unshackled heart, ummm…
I would love to have this book!
Hello,
My husband abandoned me in Nov. So much is happening. He’s on prescription drugs/drinking, idolizes his motorcycle & motorcycle group more than me, our marriage or our God. He’s on his 2nd girlfriend, has filed for divorce. Refuses to see me, talk or even text now. Putting us $30,000 more in debt in the last 3 months. Left me with a new mortage, 4 horses, 5 dogs, 1 cat, 1 guinea pig & now all the other expenses. I refuse to give up. I am standing on Gods promises. God hates divorce. What God has put joined together, let no man tear apart. Man is not independent of woman, nor woman independent of man in the Lord. I am closer to God than I ever was, & will be a prayer warrior for me husband for the rest of my life. I believe. . God can reconcile us, even if my husband has fallen away from God & wants Nothing to do with me any more. God has been talking to me. I put my husband before God. I am learning to put God first as it should be.
I ask from you. . . Prayer. Lift us up in prayer as my battle is daily. (Jim & April)
God is also putting people in my life for me to comfort as well. My own prayer list for others has grown to 55 people, and I know 1 has asked Christ into her heart. Praise God!. I would like this book to give to a friend, Elena, who’s dad has recently passed & her mother was not a very willing caretaker of him & she holds a lot of anger towards her mother. I have been encouraging her to read Gods word daily, pray to Him to for forgivness & help her with her loss.She’s turned to drinking to help her cope. Im hoping that this book would help her to heal & forgive others, cling to God, rather than become bitter.
God Bless you & yours
Where to start… My dad was never involved in my life. My parents divorced when I was 5. My step dad had one way to communicate. That was to yell. I never really experienced the love & confidence that came from a good male role model. Always looking for the love I so longed for, I had my first child at 16. We married before he was born & was married for twenty five years ( and 2 more children) when he decided that he didn’t get to experience all he wanted to in life. He was ” eight years from 50 & didn’t want to look back & think he could have done something different). There was an affair & now he’s planning a life with the other woman. Through counseling with my pastor, some of his best advise was that I can’t let bitterness into my life. This hurts more than anything in life & I want want to walk in the peace & liberty of complete forgives.
This book sounds like a wonderful way to assist in letting go and letting God be God without any boxes. I would love the opportunity to win a book but if not, it is on my list to read no matter. As women we need time to stop and heal because we hold so deeply to pains.
I to have carried hurt all of my life now at 49 years old God alone has torn down that wall for me, I no longer have to feel hopeless, and a failure, but I still need to ask what is next Lord, you have delivered me, now how can you use me?
I read you forward and bingo! I knew how you felt. Unfortunately I come from generational brokeness. Now that I am a single mom it’s my responsibility to break the brokeness. I am getting ready to finish Living waters which is six months of healing relational brokeness through Jesus Christ. It’s very powerful Although it focuses on homosexuality which is noty struggle. This book would help me as my layers are slowly peeling off and forgiving from a woman’s experience. My class is about to end and I’m scared of not being held accountable with my group. looking for a new class for my next chapter in healing with the help of the Father.
Thankyou !
Taryn
This sounds like a great book. Right now I am reading and working my way through: A Confident Heart. Traci Miles recommended it to me this week end. It’s wonderful.
I would love to win this book. I have been working on my own freedom through forgiveness and think this book would be a great help.
Thanks for the opportunity.
So much if this story you’ve shared sounds similar to mine and I fins myself struggling to forgive. I have to chsne the path and future for my boys and I know He is the only One who can make that happen.
I have been struggling with forgiveness for a long time. I have read the free sample of the intro and chapter one and I think this book would be awesome! I would love to win a copy to help me learn how to forgive and dig deeper into my unforgiveness! Thank you Renee and Suzie! Blessings to you both!
I would LOVE to read this book!
Your forward alone is my life in its current state. I can only imagine how this book can and will change my life.
i have a lot of hurt and.pain from a few people in my life that i just can’t seem to forgive.. no matter how hard i try or how much i pray about it the anger, hurt, and betrayal is still there. Its been 7 years.. I want to put this behind me and forgive them so i can move on..
Forgiveness is something that I deal with just about everyday with my husband. He doesn’t yet know Jesus as his personal Savior so he has no outlet other than to scrutinize and judge me.