My friend Suzie just released her book, The Unburdened Heart, and I’m so excited about the power and potential of her life-changing message. I had the honor of writing the foreword for her book, and I’d love to share my heart with you about it – today:
I don’t know exactly when it started. I just remember feeling angry and frustrated with my husband – almost every single day – on and off for months. One evening after an argument, J.J. told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough.
He was right, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of being mean and miserable so I started asking God to show me what was going on. To help me figure out how, after seven years of a fairly happy marriage, we had gotten to this ugly place.
Over time I sensed God was showing me that I wanted J.J. to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. I think I was trying to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” and in doing so I became very controlling and critical.
You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.
My unforgiving heart and unfulfilled hopes had created bitter expectations. I thought if I could get J.J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken past and shattered dreams could be put back together.
I knew I needed to deal with my pain, but I couldn’t just forgive and forget it. It wasn’t that easy. There were layers of hurts and issues I’d never dealt with.
I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it. Then I carved out time each week to unpack the memories and events that led me to this hard place and then I allowed God to heal them.
I asked Jesus to help me grieve the loss of things I wanted that I would never have from my dad. And I asked Him to walk me through the steps of forgiving my father so I could release the anger, abandonment and hurt that had held me prisoner for so long.
It was a process that took time, prayer and courage, but it was worth it. I was worth it. My marriage was worth it.
Like most people, I didn’t want to face my pain. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want to dig it all up. But I am so glad I did! Through it all, God showed me how to let go of my past hurts so I could take hold of hope and healing I never thought I would find.
As I worked through what happened in my childhood, and how it was affecting my marriage, I realized I needed the help of a friend. I needed someone who had walked a similar road to come alongside me to offer wisdom and another perspective in my healing journey.
Through the pages of The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller is that friend. Offering wisdom and a heart full of compassion, Suzie will come beside you and mentor you each step of the way. Yet Suzie doesn’t just share from a place of knowing about forgiveness; she writes from a place of living it and giving it, when it’s hard.
One thing I love about Suzie and the message she lives, is that she’s not a cookie-cutter Christian. She won’t just say, “You need to forgive.” She knows it’s not that easy, but she also cares too much to leave you in that hard place. Instead, she’ll take your hand and walk you through the process, sharing her story as you look at yours.
Bringing depth to the layers of a forgiving-life, Suzie will help you explore the different meanings of forgiveness as she walks with you through your unique journey. She’ll also introduce you to amazing women and men who have offered their hearts, their stories and their courage to help you recover yours!
Chapter by chapter Suzie will invite you, even urge you at times, into a place of hope and healing because she wants you to experience the sacred transformation that forgiveness brings.
I hope you’ll accept her invitation. It will require time, courage and perseverance but you are worth what it takes. You see, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we offer it to others. In doing so, we don’t forgive so we can forget. We forgive, as we have been forgiven, so we can be set free from our past and live with confident hope in our future.
I’m giving away 2 copies of Suzie’s book – The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. This your invitation to discover the freedom of forgiveness. Enter to receive a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” to share your thoughts or simply let us know why you’d like to win a copy of Suzie’s book. {If you are reading this via email, click here to enter to win.}
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Gosh. Where do I begin. I feel like the marriage description above was me. Let me start and try and make this short. This book could really help me out in ways I can’t convey. My own childhood was not bad just longed for the father I needed but really did t have until now. As I was dating I looked for that figure in so many wrong relationships. I finally prayed for he right one. I found him. We married in nov of 2005. I was pregnant with our first born. It was accepted. We were I. Love and ready. A few short months our whole world was shattered….our firstborn was stillborn at 38 weeks. A beautiful baby girl. Perfect in every way. I found out I had a clotting disorder that caused it. I was angry. I couldn’t remember the years we dated up to having her. We moved 6 months after and I hated moving, I hated everything. I disliked who I was I felt like I let everyone down, I started seeking HIM. I was baptized a few months after we moved. Yet still I was Holding onto anger fear and resentment, I felt if I wasn’t pregnant whe we got married the. It wouldn’t happen. A few years and under extreme watch we had our second daughter two years to the date we buried her sister, I knew it was God. I was overjoyed…yet still resentful and angry. Like i am now. I was given a miracle and a blessing and I am still angry over the first being gone. I have asked for forgiveness. I have laid it at the alter and prayed over it but yet still I carry the burden. Since my daughter who is now 5 was born our marriage is not where I want it to be. I feel like I am a mean and nasty wife and mother. I can’t let it go. We have have four more losses too. Our 7 years have not been happy. Yet still we have our Abby and each other. I just miss the happy times and want to be there again. I want to be forgiven and to forgive. I can no longer have any more and she wants a brother and sister. I can’t give her that. Not now. I need to go forth and do btetter but I can’t I need help. I pray and cry and try to let go but I can’t. I just want the peace, the positivity and the forgiveness to encompass me. I would love to get your insight and read this to learn from you. Thank you. Praying for all of you above as well
My husband andI have been married for a little more than 2 years. We’ve been through many difficult moments. I’ve let anger and bitterness get the best of me and our marriage. It has been a challenge to forgive myself and forgive him for the things that have happened. God is slowly but surely working in my heart and for that I’m thankful.
I have really enjoyed the parts of the book that I have read! I would really love to win a copy! Thank you!
I am a mother of three one being special needs, and I could really used this book. I stay unglued a lot!!!
Sorry I thought this was the book unglued. I could really use this book also on forgiveness.
I am trying to repair my relationship with my mother. There has been a lot of hurt in the past. I want to be forgiving even without the apologies. Thanks!
My mother and I haven’t spoken in years. I don’t know where to start to heal the relationship.
I’d like to win a copy of Susie’s book!
This sounds like a helpful book! Thank you for the opportunity to win a copy.
I have struggled for years with forgiveness, never to total lost of compassion, but anger that gets in my way. I know there is a simple answer through Christ. I would love to win a copy, thanks lori
I would love to read this book as forgiveness is such a difficult task for anyone. However, my mother has had a very difficult life and I would like to win this book so I can give it to her. She struggles with letting things from her past go so she can live a gracious and joyous life. In the last year she has really worked on herself as a Christian and I think this book would be a blessing to her life.
I would love to read this!
I have enjoyed all the books I have read from P31 blogs and obs so I’m would love to win this one. Thank you authors for sharing your gifts and Gods word.
I would love to win a copy of this book, forgiveness is the one thing I can’t seem to do. Every time I think I am there it is like I just can’t seem to do it.
Would love to win and read this book!
I would love to read this book!
Would love to read this book! 🙂
I’d love to read this! THanks!
I thought I had a handle on forgiveness, but after 10 years of being a divorced mom, it has been brought to my attention that I have become bitter, negative, hardened. I want to find peace and joy again. I think the first step will be forgiveness, but I need help knowing how to “truly” forgive.
I wonder if maybe this might be where my struggles are coming from….I come from not a broken home but a severely cracked one! I was adopted (issue 1–why did my mom not keep me). 2….My adoptive mom had mental issues and my child hood was a bit rough at times. 3…lost my 22yr old son in a car wreck and 4….got a divorce 3 months later. I could possible have a few forgiveness issues!!! Oh, and I left out forgiving myself for what I feel is my biggest sin.
I am currently struggling with depression and just getting through each day and doing what I HAVE to do. This book could possibly help me get to the core of my problem….let go of my past, forgive myself and others.
I really need this book. I would love to win it.