My friend Suzie just released her book, The Unburdened Heart, and I’m so excited about the power and potential of her life-changing message. I had the honor of writing the foreword for her book, and I’d love to share my heart with you about it – today:
I don’t know exactly when it started. I just remember feeling angry and frustrated with my husband – almost every single day – on and off for months. One evening after an argument, J.J. told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough.
He was right, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of being mean and miserable so I started asking God to show me what was going on. To help me figure out how, after seven years of a fairly happy marriage, we had gotten to this ugly place.
Over time I sensed God was showing me that I wanted J.J. to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. I think I was trying to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” and in doing so I became very controlling and critical.
You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.
My unforgiving heart and unfulfilled hopes had created bitter expectations. I thought if I could get J.J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken past and shattered dreams could be put back together.
I knew I needed to deal with my pain, but I couldn’t just forgive and forget it. It wasn’t that easy. There were layers of hurts and issues I’d never dealt with.
I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it. Then I carved out time each week to unpack the memories and events that led me to this hard place and then I allowed God to heal them.
I asked Jesus to help me grieve the loss of things I wanted that I would never have from my dad. And I asked Him to walk me through the steps of forgiving my father so I could release the anger, abandonment and hurt that had held me prisoner for so long.
It was a process that took time, prayer and courage, but it was worth it. I was worth it. My marriage was worth it.
Like most people, I didn’t want to face my pain. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want to dig it all up. But I am so glad I did! Through it all, God showed me how to let go of my past hurts so I could take hold of hope and healing I never thought I would find.
As I worked through what happened in my childhood, and how it was affecting my marriage, I realized I needed the help of a friend. I needed someone who had walked a similar road to come alongside me to offer wisdom and another perspective in my healing journey.
Through the pages of The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller is that friend. Offering wisdom and a heart full of compassion, Suzie will come beside you and mentor you each step of the way. Yet Suzie doesn’t just share from a place of knowing about forgiveness; she writes from a place of living it and giving it, when it’s hard.
One thing I love about Suzie and the message she lives, is that she’s not a cookie-cutter Christian. She won’t just say, “You need to forgive.” She knows it’s not that easy, but she also cares too much to leave you in that hard place. Instead, she’ll take your hand and walk you through the process, sharing her story as you look at yours.
Bringing depth to the layers of a forgiving-life, Suzie will help you explore the different meanings of forgiveness as she walks with you through your unique journey. She’ll also introduce you to amazing women and men who have offered their hearts, their stories and their courage to help you recover yours!
Chapter by chapter Suzie will invite you, even urge you at times, into a place of hope and healing because she wants you to experience the sacred transformation that forgiveness brings.
I hope you’ll accept her invitation. It will require time, courage and perseverance but you are worth what it takes. You see, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we offer it to others. In doing so, we don’t forgive so we can forget. We forgive, as we have been forgiven, so we can be set free from our past and live with confident hope in our future.
I’m giving away 2 copies of Suzie’s book – The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. This your invitation to discover the freedom of forgiveness. Enter to receive a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” to share your thoughts or simply let us know why you’d like to win a copy of Suzie’s book. {If you are reading this via email, click here to enter to win.}
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I have been struggling with forgiveness lately. I have prayed for the Lords help and I pray that I will find victory in this area soon!
I don’t want to share too much information in this forum, but I have had many events in my life pile on top of each other without healing. I know I’m supposed to forgive, but I don’t know how. That is why I would like to enter to win a copy of your book. Thank you.
I would love to win a copy of this book. Forgivness is something I need to work on. I have been holding on to things for so many years.
I will have a copy of this book whether it is won or purchased. Unforgiveness has held me back in my walk with God. This book may be the nudge I needed. Thank you!
Hi Renee! I would like to thank for sharing this experience with so many hurting woman. I think that it would be great to receive this book as a gift. Recently my husband and I have been ministering together as first time pastors (well he’s the pastor lol). As we have begun this journey together I have been spending time with some of the woman in our church. We are currently finishing up another bible study “let it go” (Proverbs 31 ministries) and I am now looking for another study that will help to bring healing into the lives of the woman that I now call family! Forgiveness is something that this world has forgotten about and without it it eats away at our lives. It steals us of the joy and peace that God so desperately desires for us to have. So thank you for this opportunity to possibly win this book!
I think this book sounds exactly like what I NEED right now. I would love to win a copy!
I’m so glad to have been directed to this page! I’m embarrassed to say I have never read any of the authors books but as I read the description of the book all I could think was “Ouch!” I was just in bed with my husband whining “once again” as this has become a regular activity about all the ways I wish he would love and adore me more… so excited about this book and praying it can lead me to the kind of healing God has for me, I know it’s not fair to put so very much pressure on an already fantastic husband!
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32. New International Version (NIV)
I know I am at another place in my life where forgiving others and myself is imperative. This book would be a blessing.
My husband am I are leading a couples group and I am always amazed at how god leads me the night before to verses or thoughts that I can are itch my group. Tonight I randomly clicked on this link through Facebook and loved your ideas thar I read so far. His would b. great tool to me to have for myself as we’ll as to be able to share with others.
I would love to read this book so I can reach that point where my heart is unburdened!!!
I would like to receive this book because I know there is much more to learn about forgiveness… There are always opportunites to exercise forgiveness, be it through offense of speech or actions. Therefore,I always have need for more reminders of the need for forgiveness for myself and the grace needed to extended that forgiveness to others.
God is good…all the time!
I am currently unemployed and winning this book would be such a blessing to me. Thanks so much for all you do!
I too struggle with forgiveness. It seems as if everyone I trust eventually lets me down in one area or another. Recently it has been my husband. I discovered he lied to me about some things before we were married, and I am having an extremely hard time forgiving him and moving forward in the direction that I feel God would have me go. Perhaps this book would help me in that endeavor. It would be wonderful to have a new lease on my marriage….
I would love to read this!
I’ve been a Christian for about 14 years. My husband left when my kids were little. I became a Christian 6 months later. I raised my children in the Lord but life was rough. Then my kids moved out and I remarried a man who got cancer 10 days after we married. I never wanted to get remarried. My mom was married 4 times and her 4th husband murdered her. Life hasn’t gone that well for me. :/ I thought marriage would fix me. Ha! We all know that just brings more struggles. So here I am, struggling. Watching my kids do things no mother wants to see but has no control over. A sick husband and I support us. I have been asking God to do surgery on my heart (after I ask Him to fix everyone else of course.)
Just the title alone is enough to prompt me to want this book. I’ve experienced the relief and joy of forgiveness throughout my less than perfect 25-year marriage. I’m not counseling a young friend who needs to learn how to forgive and enjoy God’s peace regardless of her life circumstances. I’d love to win this book and share it with her. Thank you for considering me.
A book that I would love to receive to read and will allow me to share insights with my daughter and the young women of my Sunday school class. So timely for my generation and generations to come.
I loved A Confident Heart and would love to read this one too!!
Well-I normally don’t do this sort of thing. I’m pretty self-contained and feel pretty weird sharing anything very personal in a public format. But I think I am supposed to do this because I have tried to back out twice and here I am. My father has done some pretty awful things to his family and told me several years ago after a somewhat unpleasant “discussion” that if he had to do it all over again he wouldn’t change a thing. I have really struggled with forgiveness in so many areas of my life. That’s it.