My friend Suzie just released her book, The Unburdened Heart, and I’m so excited about the power and potential of her life-changing message. I had the honor of writing the foreword for her book, and I’d love to share my heart with you about it – today:
I don’t know exactly when it started. I just remember feeling angry and frustrated with my husband – almost every single day – on and off for months. One evening after an argument, J.J. told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough.
He was right, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of being mean and miserable so I started asking God to show me what was going on. To help me figure out how, after seven years of a fairly happy marriage, we had gotten to this ugly place.
Over time I sensed God was showing me that I wanted J.J. to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. I think I was trying to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” and in doing so I became very controlling and critical.
You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.
My unforgiving heart and unfulfilled hopes had created bitter expectations. I thought if I could get J.J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken past and shattered dreams could be put back together.
I knew I needed to deal with my pain, but I couldn’t just forgive and forget it. It wasn’t that easy. There were layers of hurts and issues I’d never dealt with.
I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it. Then I carved out time each week to unpack the memories and events that led me to this hard place and then I allowed God to heal them.
I asked Jesus to help me grieve the loss of things I wanted that I would never have from my dad. And I asked Him to walk me through the steps of forgiving my father so I could release the anger, abandonment and hurt that had held me prisoner for so long.
It was a process that took time, prayer and courage, but it was worth it. I was worth it. My marriage was worth it.
Like most people, I didn’t want to face my pain. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want to dig it all up. But I am so glad I did! Through it all, God showed me how to let go of my past hurts so I could take hold of hope and healing I never thought I would find.
As I worked through what happened in my childhood, and how it was affecting my marriage, I realized I needed the help of a friend. I needed someone who had walked a similar road to come alongside me to offer wisdom and another perspective in my healing journey.
Through the pages of The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller is that friend. Offering wisdom and a heart full of compassion, Suzie will come beside you and mentor you each step of the way. Yet Suzie doesn’t just share from a place of knowing about forgiveness; she writes from a place of living it and giving it, when it’s hard.
One thing I love about Suzie and the message she lives, is that she’s not a cookie-cutter Christian. She won’t just say, “You need to forgive.” She knows it’s not that easy, but she also cares too much to leave you in that hard place. Instead, she’ll take your hand and walk you through the process, sharing her story as you look at yours.
Bringing depth to the layers of a forgiving-life, Suzie will help you explore the different meanings of forgiveness as she walks with you through your unique journey. She’ll also introduce you to amazing women and men who have offered their hearts, their stories and their courage to help you recover yours!
Chapter by chapter Suzie will invite you, even urge you at times, into a place of hope and healing because she wants you to experience the sacred transformation that forgiveness brings.
I hope you’ll accept her invitation. It will require time, courage and perseverance but you are worth what it takes. You see, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we offer it to others. In doing so, we don’t forgive so we can forget. We forgive, as we have been forgiven, so we can be set free from our past and live with confident hope in our future.
I’m giving away 2 copies of Suzie’s book – The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. This your invitation to discover the freedom of forgiveness. Enter to receive a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” to share your thoughts or simply let us know why you’d like to win a copy of Suzie’s book. {If you are reading this via email, click here to enter to win.}
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Wow! This book sounds like God is talking to me! Your first paragraph has so many similarities to my life. Thank you for sharing and I hope to read your book soon 🙂
Sounds wonderful.
Forgiveness can be the most difficult thing to give but the blessings, peace and love that will follow can change a heart of stone to one that freely forgives. I have been released by forgiving those who have harmed me. I pray that those that read your message find freedom for their hearts and minds by learning to forgive.
Your entry today resonates with me on many levels… It is amazing to me how I think I have forgiven someone for something and yet it can resurface seemingly out of the blue and I become angry all over again…would love a copy of the book– thanks for your insight–
Forgiveness is hard and easy at the same time…. It’s easy as long as you don’t have to deal with the person again, it’s hard to keep reminding yourself that you have forgiven them when you have to see and interact with them daily.
Forgiveness has always been a struggle of mine. Understanding it is so hard for me as forgiveness did not exist while growing up. Without an example, it is hard to understand and do.
My marriage needs this. I am in a season of life that I want to forgive and let go so I can love my husband in the way God truly desires for me to do.
Sounds like a book I could really use!
I have come a long way in my walk with the Lord and I am finding peace and happiness despite what others have done to me or said about me. Yet I struggle with forgiveness daily. However, I can think of nothing as freeing as letting go and trusting God!!!
I would really like to win a copy of this book because this is exactly where I am at right now. I have started seeing a counselor and have started the process of working through my pain from the past and embracing forgiveness. What an overwhelming task it seems to be. I am trying to just trust God that he has begun this and will finish it and guide my steps all along the way. This book seems like it would be a huge help.
I would love to read this entire book. I read the intro and
Know it’s what everyone needs for true victory. Forgiveness is
A topic that everyone needs to be an expert on! I would love to
Win a copy but if I don’t, I’ll be buying one. Thanks
Proverb 31 gals for living for Jesus and not for
Selfish gain!
Hi Renee, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I already shared with Suzie how for someone like myself who has already read a lot about forgiveness, hearing someone’s personal story of forgiveness has the power to break the isolation that unforgiveness brings and ushers in trust. That trust makes all the difference in being able to walk out of bondage. My copy of Unburdened Heart is already on its way but I would love a copy of your book to read after Unburdened Heart. It would be a great follow up! Bless you.
I am completely captivated by all I have heard and read so far about this book. I would love to win a copy as I know the Lord has led me to it. I have at least three people in my life struggling to forgive and I lack the words. I think this would make a great book to start a small group (of healing) with!
Would love to win! The book sounds so intriguing.
I have been struggling with unforgiveness for 2 years because of a betrayal. I know I need to completely forgive to be free, but I struggle everyday! I would love to win a copy of The Unburdened Heart!!
I would like to win a copy of The Unburdened Heart because lately God has been really challenging me on all areas of unforgiveness in my life. I know p31 produces great material and would love to read this book.
I would love to have the opportunity to read this book to help me understand why I am usually the person doing the forgiving all the time. Maybe it will help me understand why some people don’t feel or refuse to forgive people. I am constantly going back and forth with my sister on why forgiveness is important. Nothing seems to work. It has been 2 yrs. now and we have not spoken. I pray about it often, but don’t feel that I should be the one that always gives. I feel bad for feeling this way, but tired of her constantly doing this every few years, and I always have to be the bigger person. Am I wrong in feeling this way??? I would love to read this and have a better understanding of these burdens.
I think I NEED this!
I’ve recently discovered how to accept God’s forgiveness but still struggle with forgiving others. I look forward to reading this book!!
I have lived through a lot in my life, where many people have done and said things that I know I need to forgive, but I cannot seem to find the way to do it. Every time I try, I just end up frustrated, upset, and more hurt than before.
My mom had 3 husbands that were not good examples of husbands or fathers. From my biological father that did things to me that cost him custody rights when I was 3, to her second husband who reminded me daily that I was not his daughter, and therefore was his personal slave, to her current husband who spends his time in one room, while the rest of us (including my mother) are in another room. This has led me to do/say/behave in certain ways that I am not proud of, and has hurt me further.
I have tried to forgive all of these people repeatedly, and fail every time. I am ready to forgive, and move on, but am very unsure of how to do so. I would love to read what Suzie has to say on the subject, and embark on the journey to forgiveness and peace.
~Eryn
I have read several of the books written by the women of Proverbs 31 ministries including “A Confident Heart” Which my daughter is reading now. I would love to have this book as I struggle as a lot of us do with unforgiveness. Thank you for your ministry !!
Hello, I read your incert about part of your journey. Take that journey into forgiveness this is just part of your story…
There is an ending that God has for you has you winning in the end