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The Things We Do For Love

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I had almost everything I wanted, yet I felt empty and confused.

I couldn’t figure out why all the relationships and accomplishments I had worked so hard to gain weren’t enough to fill me or fulfill me.

Tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our plans of a future together had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed. I had been crazy about him—a little too crazy.

When I think about the crazy things I did for his love, I want to crawl under a rock. Like the day a friend mentioned that my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so I parked by his office and waited for him to leave on Friday.

We both “happened” to be at Wendy’s at the same time and bumped into each other. When I finished my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping that if he saw my car he’d realize he couldn’t live without me and signal for me to pull over so we could talk. Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can probably guess, he never stopped.

I was hopeless and humiliated. Without his love I felt incomplete.

A few weeks later, while walking around my campus one afternoon, my eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms, and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends, and professors—hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.

Although I was graduating with honors, had a few job offers, and had achieved success in many ways, it wasn’t enough. I stopped walking and just stood there, taking it all in. I couldn’t help but wonder: 

Why is all that I have never enough to fill me and fulfill me?

A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other, and I sensed God was answering me.

Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.

Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then I heard another whisper in my soul. You will never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you are looking for.

The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true.

I had been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear I could lose.  In John 4:11, we meet a woman who was looking for the same. A woman who questioned Jesus when He offered to completely satisfy her needs.

Like me, her desires were endless; the well of her soul was deep. But that day, as they talked, Jesus showed her what she was looking for and where she could find it, just like He had done with me—and just like He wants to do with you.

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In Proverbs 19:22 we read, “What a [woman] desires is unfailing love.”  That word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means to greatly long for, to deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned thirty-two times in the Bible, and not once is it attributed to a person. It is only attributed to God.

God gave us a need for unfailing love because He knew it would lead us back to Him. All He needs is His Spirit that draws us to Him. And as far as the depth of the well goes, it is our heart He is looking into, and we’re the only one who can stop Him from reaching the deep and hidden parts that need Him most.

My friends at DaySpring created something special just for you – my readers! It’s a sale coupon with free shipping + A Confident Heart collection where you can easily find all of my A Confident Heart products in one place! It has all my favorites: beautiful scripture cards, a 100-day Confident HeartLifter with quotes, prayers and verses from the book, postcards, and more! Use the code 25FORYOU at checkout to get 25% OFF + FREE SHIPPING on any purchase! Isn’t that amazing?

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When My Desire For Control Starts Controlling Me

When I Give God Control

Ever notice how when life circumstances feel out of control, you’ll try extra hard to grasp control? 
For me, I’ll try to control my kids, husband, my schedule or what ever I can get your hands on. And it’s usually not a pretty sight.

Like the day I felt like my life was out of control, so I decided to do ALL . THE . LAUNDRY like a ninja warrior! But when I went upstairs to put clean clothes away in my then fifteen-year-old son’s room, I discovered he had not put his clean clothes away the week before! Instead, he’d stacked them on his dresser, thrown dirty clothes on top of them and his big pile of clean clothes had fallen over into his dirty clothes basket on the floor – filled with sweaty stinky boy socks, shirts and shorts!!!

I was not a happy mama! My words to Joshua were harsh and my reaction was excessive. Instead of taking time to breathe and coach my son in laundry etiquette, I yelled at him!!! And a few hours later I felt so guilty I couldn’t sleep.

I lost my temper, but that’s not all. My need for control was starting to control me. 

I wanted to do laundry and for his room to be clean so I’d feel like something in my life wasn’t a mess!  But what I needed was God’s perspective and peace. What I needed were tools and ahead-of-time strategies to deal with frustrating circumstances that set me off.

My friend Lisa-Jo knows how I feel and she’s created a life-giving resource for weary ones like me and you! I’ve watched her let God use the most shameful, raw places of her anger struggles to give hope to other moms. And dads. Honestly, at our house it’s helped my husband too. And even if you’re not a mom, some of just need to know we’re alone if we struggle with our temper.

IF YOU’RE LIKE US and could use simple tips that have made radical, life-giving difference I wanted to let you know about The Temper Toolkit  Lisa-Jo created.

The Temper Toolkit includes:

7 self-paced teaching videos, downloadable audio (so you can listen on the go) and key takeaways from each lesson beautifully designed as phone lock screens, computer wallpapers or a print so you can choose which format is best to help you take the lessons with you on the go.

5 bonus videos including special videos for how to talk to your husband about your temper journey as well as how to talk to your kids. If our kids also struggle with big feelings, here are some practical ways to help them put words to what they’re feeling. And to help them understand all the potential for good packed into their passionate temperaments.

Beautiful prints you can frame like the one designed for What to Tell That Kid Who is Pushing All Your Buttons.

TEMPER TOOLKIT REGISTRATION – CURRENTLY CLOSED 

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And you get all this for $29 – the cost of one exhausted drive-through dinner with the kids after a day of meltdowns (with a 30 day money back guarantee!) That’s right! If this isn’t a good fit, you’ll get your money back with the 30-day money back guarantee. 

PLUS the first 30 friends who purchase The Temper Toolkit using the links on this post, 
will receive a FREE set of 31 Scripture Cards from ME!! (valued at $5 )

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If you’re tired of losing your peace, patience and temper,
let me know and I’ll put you on my waiting list
notification email for the Temper Toolkit.

I know you’re going to love it as much as we do!

Cheering you on! ~Renee