You’re One of a Kind

I know you sometimes feel ordinary but you’re not.

You are one of a kind ~ a unique and beautiful blend of all God wants you to be.

You may feel invisible … like you’re just one of millions of others.

But there’s no comparison. God sees you friend.

And when God sees you, He sees someone He loves.

Listen as He whispers…”You are precious and honored in my sight …. and I love you.” Is 43:4

He also sees someone He knows.

“You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.” Ps 139:1

Since God knows you, has a purpose for you and loves the way He made you, I’m confident He wants you to feel the same way. Watch, listen and let Him sing these truths over your heart today. {And if you’re reading this in email, click here to watch it online.}

You really are…







You are His!

May God’s sweet affirmations replace all those comparisons. As you identify, understand and embrace who HE created you to be, I’m praying that like the psalmist, you can learn to say with confidence, “Lord, You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb, I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Ps. 139:13-14)


 Want to find out more about who God created you to be?
Here’s a link to a FREE Spiritual Gifts Assessment  to see what your gifts are!

It’s FREE for everyone!


Today’s GiveAway:  I’m giving away  5 copies of the personality assessment that I talk about in my book A Confident Heart, In chapter 8, I share an in-depth section about personalities and how our unique traits play a key role in our God-given purpose. Today’s giveaway is called Wired That Way Personality Profile and includes a time-tested profile with definitions, instructions to eliminate confusion, a detailed explanation of your scores, and a handy team-building chart that shows how the different Personalities interact.

Enter to win: Share a little bit about what God is speaking to your heart or showing you today through my P31 devotion, this blog post and/or music video. Can’t want to hear from your heart. Simply click “share your thoughts” below. {And if you’re reading this in email, click here.}

Read my Encouragement for Today devotion The Comparison Trap.

About Renee

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, story-teller, heart-encourager and grace-needer. She's also a wife, mom, friend, daughter and author of A Confident Heart, a Retailers Choice Award winning book that became a best-seller and has been published in six languages, with over 150,000 copies sold. Renee is speaks around the country at women's events and and serves on the writing team for DaySpring’s inCourage blog. For twenty years, Renee served in leadership at Proverbs 31 Ministries and as former co-host of the ministry's radio program, “Everyday Life with Lysa & Renee.


  1. How very true—-we compare our insides with the outsides of those around us – then fall flat on our faces. I pray that we learn to see ourselves the way God created us and intended us to be.

    • margarita says:

      wow, I have that cd by mercy me that a sister gave me last year with that song on it
      last year I was really going through some hard times of not loving me and I always thought of myself ugle ,well not no more I’m beautiful,but i’m noticeing that i’m compare myself with someone that I wish i had her body shape…God is so awsome that i’m learning to love who i’m and how i look right now…..

  2. Right now, I’m a tired teacher. I see other teachers who seem more naturally gifted at organization than I am. Somehow they get more done in their 45 minutes of conference time than I do. I like reading my students work, but I’m overly sensitive about how a grade on a paper will affect them… and I sometimes have to redo a grading matrix more than once before I can live with it. In short, if my principal isn’t printing out a list of whose students made the best scores and distributing it, I am mentally comparing myself with others for whom teaching seems easier. However, this is my “regroup” season– a time when I let my mind rest and listen more intently to what the Lord wants me to hear from Him. I need His intervention and encouragement more than ever. “I don’t want to talk about You, like You’re not in the room. I want to look right at You/ Want to sing right to You.” Elijah was tired after a big battle, too… and he needed to get some rest, express his heart to God, and hear God’s still small voice that was louder than all the voices internally or externally.

    • Dear Pam (tired teacher),

      I too am a tired teacher of 31 years. After a long year, testing and teaching and everything in between, this is the time to relax, rejuvenate and take time for yourself. I think that that my hardest years were as a beginner teacher but also these last 2 years have been trying and with the new technology and new evaluation systems. Even with all of this and other things, God has never left my side, in triumphs and failures ( and then some ), He has been faithful because I have chosen to listen to Him, to seek him humbly and cry out to Him. God will always provide what you need, be it a friend, family, co-worker, church members etc. I have never given up on my God because He has and never will give up on me.
      God bless you and thank you for being part of the teachers who get tired giving their all for our students.

      • Thank you for your testimony and encouragement, Edna. I read recently ( I think in I Used to Be So Organized) that a mom was having a hard time and feeling frustrated because her baby (first son) was not growing and seemed to cry all the time. No matter how much she fed him, he was always hungry and fussy. A friend had given her a loaf of bread and some jam– and that is what she ate the first week her baby was home as she tried to get him to nurse and have enough. She wrote that she wished someone had told her that she had to eat well– a variety of good foods– for her body to be able to produce the milk that her son needed. She just wasn’t giving her body what it needed to sustain her and him. As I read that, I thought about how the Lord has been telling me that He wants me to take better care of myself by coming to Him intentionally/crying out to Him/eating good spiritual food– as well as eating good physcial food/ getting enough rest and water/ taking time to do something creative/fun, and blessing my body with movement. I am listening. Today Lamentations 3 especially encouraged me. 🙂 Thank you again, Edna. God bless you.

        • I love how you both {Edna and Pam} are encouraging one another. I love what you both shared. And Pam God’s been showing me the same thing about taking care of my “whole” self . It’s so easy to neglect the basics like healthy good, good sleep, exercise and fun. I couldn’t do life with out Jesus and His constant care of me in His quiet but persistent ways. :0)

          Praying this will be a refreshing summer for your heart, mind, body and soul!!!

      • I’m a teacher too, a school librarian. This year, more than any, I found myself working so hard to gain approval…I’m exhausted! I wanted my principal to ” see” my contributions!!! All year, I’ve battled stress and compared myself to others. The result, for me, is burnout and weight gain. This is indeed the time to rest and rejuvenate! I know God has blessed me in my work as well, even my failures. I pray we all learn to “fail forward”, and rely on God’s grace to bring us through. I also pray that He shows us to see ourselves (as women, teachers, sisters) as He does.

  3. It is so true that we all are unique. My friend MJ and I just co-directed VBS. We had a lot of.challenges, but wwere able to face those challenges by acting on our own strengths to get through it. The more I pray And read the Bible, the easier it is to see God’s unique plan for each of us and see how he puts the right teams together to get His work done.

    • I love how you and your friend MJ worked together based the your different strengths. Life always works better that way and it so much more fun too. 🙂

  4. How can we forget? Why do we allow the lies of the devil to infest our minds? We certainly have a battle and we need to be reminded that we are daughters of a King! We are princesses, we have access to the kingdom of God by our beautiful Jesus! Thank you for your ministry and the beautiful work is doing in us, (women seeking the purpose in our lives)

  5. Thank you for using the gift God gave you in such a beautiful way. I have been searching and praying for God to open my heart and eyes to His will. I am nearing my thirties 🙂 and can’t wait for what God has in store for my life!

  6. My husband and I were just discussing the differences in our personalities. It so important to see and understand that in others around you. You can’t compare anyone, we are each unique. Celebrate being a beautiful, wonderful Child of God.

    • Love hearing how you and your husband are discussing this too. It made a huge difference in my marriage when we went through the assessment together and started to really appreciate each other’s strengths and give grace for our weaknesses. 🙂

  7. Today’s devotional was a tough one for me. I struggle with the comparison trap everyday. Growing up as identical twin was a blessing…an instant best friend from day one, but it was also very difficult. We were constantly compared to each other and often treated as the same person! As an adult it has been very difficult to identify who I truly am and it was only a few weeks ago that I realized how very much this has affected my personal life and my professional one too. I ask God every day to show me and transform me into the woman he created me to be…not the one I have allowed my self to believe I am shaped by the world….thank you for today’s devotional!

    • Praying for you Beth. That must be really hard. But YOU can still be a twins and be an very unique one-of-a-kind individual. I have aunts that are identical twins and they are so much alike yet also very unique and different in their lifestyles, hobbies and family life.

  8. Morag Fisher says:

    I get caught in the comparison trap on a personal level, but also with my children. Personally, I can relate to what you said and I loved the quote about comparing ‘our insides with others outsides’. My biggest problem at the moment is with comparing how my 19 year old son behaves and lives with how I would love to see him live – I need to accept him as being how God made him and learn to accept the beautiful person he is. Thank you for your encouragement today.

    • This is a challenge as a mom. I so get it. But it’s oh so important. It’s made a big impact on my parenting for me to read books and pray God would give me understanding and appreciation for each of my kids’ uniqueness. Praying for you today!!

  9. Thank you for your post today. It has always been so difficult for me to believe I am special in any way. I think I will always need help with this. I pray for help with this and I think God led me to you today. Thank you.

  10. Thank you for the reminder that God compares me to no-one else. He sees me and loves me and has a beautiful plan for my life. I need to move over and give Him control thankful that He is not finished with me yet. Pray for my sister TJ to know that God loves and sees her just the way she is!

  11. Wow! This spoke to me. I definitely have been comparing my insides to others outsides. I am going to keep this infront of me and reread chapter 8. I have such a struggle with feeling unworthy. Thank you for your posts –

  12. This devotion really spoke to me today. I feel that God is trying to get it through my thick skull that I am OKAY just the way he made me and I don’t have to have the same skills as someone else. He can use me as I am. I am going to take the spiritual gift test and see what mine are and then look for ways in my church, community, and work to use those talents to glorify my Father…..thank you Renee.

  13. Domanicka says:

    Love this song! God spoke to me and said that my circumstances do not define me, he does. “I am more than the lies I have held for so long, they are nothing in the shadow of the cross.” Precisely, the lies are not me but a shadow. What a revelation.

  14. I need the reminder to not compare myself on a daily basis. I also struggle with where God wants to use me vs. where I want to be used. Too often I gravitate towards things that people will notice. While that frustrates me, I find myself filling with pride and unable to say no to jobs that will bring me praise.

  15. Ky'Anne says:

    What a revelation! Due to my insecurities, I find myself comparing a lot! I KNOW how much God loves me, but i can’t seem to break this vicious cycle. What are MY gifts? I’m not sure. I long to be pleasing to Him. I want to do what I’m called to do. But truthfully I’m not sure what that is. As a 36 year old, that is terrifying! Thank you for this devo, God is asking me to step away from my comfort zone and discover His best for me.

  16. I am in the midst of reading your “Confident Heart” book and today’s post resonates perfectly with what I am learning there. Yes, I know that only God can fill me, yet I have a hunch I somehow think he will fill me or bless me in the way He is doing so with a friend, neighbor or someone else. So, thanks to how you are helping me think and how He is working in me, I am asking Him to fill me in a way that’s just right for me both inside and out.

  17. I have struggled for years of comparing myself with other women, not ever measuring up. Now, I’m learning to embrace who God made me to be – abilities, talents, personality and all. I’m still a working progress, but I’m more confident than I have ever been. Thanks!

  18. God’s timing is always perfect! I was meditating on truths to share in a workshop about how other churches can initiate a ministry patterned after one we have done for over a decade. The message of not trying to be someone else or comparing ourselves with orhers applies not only to individuals but also to churches. God calls bodies of believers to unique ministries.

  19. Thank you for your insight. I, too, grew up never feeling good enough and always trying to be like everyone else. I didn’t know Christ, and alcohol became my ‘liquid courage.’ I am so grateful to say I am almost four years sober and on a spiritual journey to discover God’s purpose for my life. I have read your book, and can identify with so much of it. I am in a couple of Bible studies, just soaking everything up. Thanks to women like you, I have guidance and direction. Thank you.

  20. Michelle says:

    The biggest thing God is speaking to me about is valuing my gifts & personality no matter how small or insignificant it seems & not try to be someone else. How freeing!

  21. I really never thought about “You are precious and honored in my sight …. and I love you.” Is 43:4, As a new christian I am learning so much for what God has in store for me. I am learning that I am precious and honored so I do need to quit comparing myself to others and see myself as God sees me.

  22. MarySue says:

    I’m getting closer to 40 than 30, and as a single, childless, woman, it is soooo hard to avoid falling into the lie that I’ll never measure up. When I was younger, it was easy to wear the masks that everyone wanted to see, and I had quite the selection! But now, I want people to know the real me. I’m breaking the masks, slowly, painfully, but each day is freer and brighter as God continues to shape and mold me.

    • Shannon Steckel says:

      MarySue, I’m single,childless women too and I totally understanding putting the mask on because that is what I was taught when i was younger. Toughen up, stop being a cry baby when people called me names since I had a speech impariment and was called retarded, dummy, and other names. I wanted a family by now but I’m 36 and have nothing but I know God has a plan and have to wait. Waiting is hard but I know He has the best gift ever. 🙂

  23. Our church recently went through a split. In some ways we are starting all over as many have left, even the pastor.
    I have studied spiritual gifts in the past, but just never really seemed to figure out where I fit. Recently God has been prodding me to fill my life again with activities I used to thrive on~Art, Music, Words. I feel like I need permission to do these things with so many responsibilities that take up my time. But I have slowly begun and now I know these things bring me to life.
    Our situation at church, I believe, is an opportunity for God to reveal my place of service to the body. Your post and the video was a wonderful affirmation to me of God’s perfect plan for my life. He knew me from the beginning and created me for a purpose. I am not worthless and unnecessary as that vocie so often whispers into my heart. The truth is that I am His.
    Thank you.

  24. I am 44 soon to be 45 years old and I still can’t honestly say that I know what my gifts are. I have always been searching, listening and reading but there is still not that settled peace in my spirit. I want to fulfill my purpose but what is it. I am really struggling I hope chapter 8 in your book can really bring some clarity.

    • Lynda H. says:

      Dear Yvette,

      I am nearing 50 and still struggle with what gifts God has given me. Sometimes just when I think I know what they are, the circumstances of my life change and then I’m left wondering again. But it has made me realize that God gives us different strengths and different gifts at different points in our life. We may have the gift of supporting others (which might be a behind-the-scenes gift) but then suddenly we are urged to use the gift of speaking (which we never knew we had) and are in front of others. We are still using the one gift but it now seems amplified. I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes we don’t feel we have gifts but when we look closer at our lives, we can see that we use gifts every day, we just don’t always see them. Encouraging others, being a support for others, being willing to do what ever God asks us to do…those are gifts, too.

    • August Rose says:

      I too will be 45 very soon. I remember someone said to me what is it that you love to do and would do it for free? When I read that question again in Chapter 8 it made me see how I need to rethink that question again and start finding what other gifts and talents I have that God has given me to use.That one question started me on a crusade to find out. I still dont know everything I would like to do but I have found out a lot in the process. Dont beat yourself up just listen to your spirit and find things that you really like to do and that are strengths for you and see where God uses those things to lead you in your process..( I also volunteered at different organizations and from that I found something I love doing. I volunteered at a battered women’s shelter and became part of their speakers beaurea. That gave me the opportunity to use my gift to speak all over Atlanta to, mayors, governors, on the radio, I have done many television interviews, I even ended up on the Montel show in New York. Each time I open my mouth to share my story and to help others I feel God’s presesence. I was scared at first but I joined speaking organizations (like Toastmasters) to fine tune my gift and the rest has been God using me and putting me in places to speak. I was once very fearful and had zero confidence. Nobody would know when I speak because its God speaking through me. I speak to thousands now. I encourage you dont give up. You are special and you do have purpose. Remember God’s plans for you are for good…Jeremiah 29:11. August Rose

  25. I am slowly learning that it’s ok to be me, and so what if I don’t fit into the mold that others think I should. It has taken me many years to realize that this world isn’t my home, and it’s perfectly normal that I don’t feel at home here. Besides, I’d rather be a real me – and be good at that – than to be a fake someone else and always fail miserably at that! Now, I just need to learn to discern what gifts God has given me and how He intended for me to use them.

    • =]
      Hard lessons, but great freedom!!! I pray the Spirit leads you in discovering His giftings in you!!! Be blessed!!!

  26. I appreciated today’s devotion. I find that I still have to be careful to not fall into the comparison trap even as a wife & mom. I want to be a godly example to my children & at peace with myself, God & others so I must pray constantly & be on alert that I don’t start comparing myself to other moms & my children & husband to others-which is easy to do but is very wrong!
    Thankful for P31 & the thought provoking devotions.

  27. Sometimes you don’t see your natural abilities and talents as gifts because they come naturally and come so easily to you. I know for me, this has been a difficult thing to grab ahold of but the Lord keeps seeping it into my soul through things like this devotion. Thank you so much, Renee, for your obedience. And I thank God for His faithfulness to continue to put these lessons in front of me to seep down into the depths of my soul until I take full hold of it and let Him do His perfect work…

  28. Debbie Myhre says:

    I love Psalm 139 – if we could really get a hold of what God is saying to us in this passage, we would realize that God does indeed love us just the way we are, because He made us! I am 50 years old and consider myself a solid Christian woman and often remind the ladies in my church that they are God’s masterpiece, and yet I still at times compare myself! Thanks Renee for this reminder!

  29. I have a hard time with FB, I look at all my friends that I went to HS and college with and I see their families and how they look so perfect and how they are doing things in their lives by serving the Lord in “fun things”o like speaking at womens conferences, singing and making gospel albums or traveling all over the country and being the perfect everything. I look at my life and think wow I wish I could be like that or my life be like that, but you know the Lord is showing me everyday that I am who I am and you know what I am happy with the way the Lord put me in the body of Christ. God has blessed me with many attributes that He can use to minister in the way He wants to use me not the way I want to be used, in letting God take charge of my life I am happier and receiving the blessings that He has been waiting to give me along. Thank you for your devotion and encouraging words………………………..

    • Tracy– FB is the perfect example of viewing someone’s “outside”… Regardless of the final image and comments we post there, FB provides a one-dimensional view of someone’s life. Not many people post pics of them caught in a struggle, family crises, or their fears, doubts, or insecurities. Yet, we all have them. When you, like me, find yourself daydreaming about the “wonderful things everyone seems to be doing on Facebook”, take a step back and remember just how blessed you are, how unique God made you, and take comfort in your greatness! I have promised myself to limit my FB browsing this summer, and to get about the business of living abundantly! God bless you!

  30. I have been praying so I would know my spiritual gift!!! Cant wait to take the assessment!!! All you gals at P31 keep me encouraged and focused!! Thanks you!!!

  31. Hi Renee, Thank you for your devotional today on the Comparison Trap. When I saw that in my Inbox, I knew that God had sent that for me to read. Comparison is something I struggle with and have been praying about. I base my self worth on what I have in comparison to others, if I am fatter or skinner than that girl, and so on. I recently had some new neighbors move in and within a month they have done some fabulous updates to their home! I have been using my comparion skills in thinking, well, “I have lived in my house for almost 2 years and they have done more to their home than me.” Sounds trivial as I write it, but it’s a comparison tactic I use to value my self worth. Well, “I don’t have as much or my home is not as nice as theirs.” Sounds silly talking about houses, but I do this is many aspects of my life including my appearance. It stings a bit, but is so true, that with the Comparison Trap we are comparing our insides with what someone has on the outside. With God’s continued grace, I am working on stopping this vicious cycle.

  32. Kelley Brown says:

    This is an amazing devotion. It follows right along the same lines as the study I am doing right now called “Girl Perfect” by Jennifer Strickland. These are amazing truths and I am so excited to claim them for myself and share them with my daughter.

  33. Tracy Eye says:

    This week I’ve had time alone….an unusual change in my normal/chaotic life as a mother of three young boys ages, 4, 5, and 8. I’m a full-time teacher, full-time grad student, wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc. In my business I often forget that “I am made for so much more than all of this.” I am guilty of running from place to place, event to event, and striving to always do more. Thanks for the awesome reminder that God loves me…no matter what, even when I am just exactly who He created me to be without striving for more!

  34. Thank you for your post. The quote “We’ve got to stop comparing our insides with others’ outsides” will be going up as my Facebook status in just a minute here! I think my husband & I are both really bad about doing this & I KNOW it has trickled down to a couple of my 4 kids. We’ve both read some on personality traits & spiritual gifts, but it would be good to get another perspective, at this different point in our lives, when we’re both feeling really down on ourselves. Hoping to win the book! Thanks so much for the opportunity to possibly win it!

  35. ethel gilless says:

    I’m writing this without having read any of the other comments above but I’ll do that later. Today’s devotion rings loud in my head. My problem is I’m 57 years old and still feel so alone. I’m married, have 3 grown sons (none married), in a loving and caring church (30 miles away at my husband’s request) and worked 13 yrs (teacher) at a job I’m ready to quit. I know I have many talents but wonder if I still know who I am.
    So I ‘m spending the summer listening, watching and waiting to see what I’m suppose to learn about me and my place. I have several girlfriends and we stay in touch dispute the miles between out homes. I’ve prayed for years for a special girl friend but none yet. And then I remember Jesus is my best friend.

    I’ve recommended the Proverbs 31 devotion by email to several friends.

  36. Renee,
    Thank you for sending me today’s devotional. which was so reassuring and inspiring. I have been comparing myself to others and not measuring. But even worse, for the last few years, I’ve spent a good deal of time comparing my old self (before marriage and divorce) to my new self and coming up short. Your post, and the beautiful video and images of Jesus embracing a child, remind me that I am loved just as I am and still have unique gifts to offer. I am on a wait list for your book, The Confident Heart, at my local library and can’t wait to get started reading it and completing the exercises you speak of in your blog. Thank you for sharing your gifts of connection and communication and inspiring with his Word!

  37. Reading this blog today is a great reminder to me that the Lord has wired me in a certain way with different talents and abilities that I can celebrate and use for His glory. So many times I compare myself with people who are very different from me because I am envious of their giftings. My prayer is that God will continue to guide and direct me in the way He wants me to live for Him, and that I wouldn’t compare myself to others.

  38. This was just what I needed today, Renee. I attended She Speaks last year and knew God wanted me to write. Fear of comparison kept me from pursuing it. But He kept reminding to just be me. The me He created and crafted. So…I did it and am growing closer to Him through the experience. Thanks for being an encourager to God’s girls!

  39. For the first time in my life I have become comfortable in my own skin. I have always struggled with body image, but have come to learn I am made just the way God wanted me to be. This comes at a perfect time as I recently found out Internet struggles my husband has been having . In the past it would’ve crushed me into a million pieces, – you can’t possibly compete with those women. But I have an unexplainable peace somehow. And it’s got to be Christ in me- on my own I would be a wreck. Yes, I am hurt, but not destroyed. Don’t like it, but living thru it and stronger because of it.

  40. Thank you for this post today. It’s not a surprise to me how God’s timing works. For a long time I’ve been praying, waiting, yearning for something “more” to come into my life. I didn’t know if that would be in the form of a different job, children (my husband and I have been dealing with infertility and miscarriages), volunteering, or *dread!!* learning to be content in my circumstances. Lately I’ve been reading about personalities and spiritual gifts, hoping to learn more about my natural passions and leanings. I even met with my counselor to talk over these things just two days ago. I was thankful for this reminder to stop comparing, as I am often jealous of the women in my life who seem to “have it all…” children, jobs they love, etc. I read an inspiring quote this morning on Pinterest right after I read this devotional. It said this: “Sometimes God doesn’t give you what you think you want. Not because you don’t deserve it, but because you deserve more.” I’m excited to fill out this assessment and continue on in this journey. To God be the glory!

  41. Michelle says:

    The bible tells us that it is not wise to compare ourselves amongst ourselves. As Christian women we often find ourselves comparing ourselves. Complaining and trying to be like our sisters in Christ. We are Designers Original created by our Father to be who and how God fashioned us to be. The only person we should Imitate is our heavenly Father. This helped me to see that ” I am fearfully and wonderfully made “. It’s a blessing to know that God has a purpose for my life and he wants to fulfill in me the destiny he has laid out for me. Today I will no longer imitate the life or characteristics of anyone else. I am who God created me to be and he has Greatness prepared for my destiny.

  42. It seems that God has been trying to burn HIs message of unconditional love and acceptance of me in my heart. SInce being laid off a year ago, I have struggled to find why me, what did I do, and comparing myself with so many others. At the same time my daily reflections, the scripture that I keep getting led to tells me to let go of my fears, to accept that God lovingly created me for a purpose and that if I put myself in his Loving arms, all will be revealed. So many times I pray for greater direction in God’s purpose for me but then He tells My time. When things don.t happen, my fears and doubts creep in – this reflection today reminded my that I am fearfully and wonderfully made…and loved…and have purpose! I must turn my fears into faith and trust He who made me..and holds me in the palm of HIs hand. I rest in HIs loving arms until He sets me forth where His plan leads me so that I can be of greatest service to Him and my fellow beings.

  43. God is encouraging me to rediscover and accept who I am in Him. A crisis happened in my life back in December that has made me question who I am as a woman, wife, sister, daughter and friend. With that I have felt lost in who I am to be and what I should be doing in my life. I did not like the person I became and needed to change. The past six months have been tough, but healing as the Lord continues to slowly guide me in the way I should have been going all along. In that I am rediscovering who I am in Him and coming to accept and love that person again as well as changing with Him where I can and need to. I’ve come a long ways, but still have a long ways to go. Yet with God all things are possible and in the end I’ve come to know and accept I am not a mistake, but I am His.

  44. Jana Payne says:

    Thank you Renee! I appreciate your devotional and your book too(not to mention the reminder of how God sees me in the video). I thought I was doing better with the comparison game, but evidently not. Everyone around me seems to be able to see God’s purpose for my life, but I still can’t see the giftings he has for me. I plan to take your spiritual personality test and hope to win the one you are offering today. I need to embrace who God has made to be and not what He hasn’t made me to be. Have a blessed day! You have blessed me!

  45. Elisabeth says:

    I do have trouble with comparing myself to others and even comparing my children. I make myself feel inadequate and unworthy or not equal to others. Thank you for your studies and book. It really speaks to my heart and helps my to not feel so stressed or worried. The verses are always so perfect for what is going on in my life.

  46. Sherril Stinnett says:

    Hi Renee,

    I just want you to know that God is wonderful! He absolutely knew that I needed to hear from you today. I just started reading the Proverbs 31 devotions this past Monday, and so far every one of them has spoken to me, but none as much as yours did today. You see, unfortunately, I am going through a separation. Every decision that I try to make concerning this situation and what I think is best for my son and me, I have family members who want to convince me that I am wrong, and not only are these decisions wrong, but they feel the need to point out every faulty decision they feel I have made in my life. These people are supposed to be my support team, but by the end of yesterday, they had me believing that they could make right decisions but I could not and never could. I spent yesterday feeling like a total failure as a person because I didn’t think about things the way they did. Your devotion this morning helped me realize that God made me just as I am and He doesn’t see my life and heart for him as a failure!

  47. Martha Helton says:

    I loved the “complete don’t compete” phrase as well as “Every time we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we’re comparing our insides with their outsides.” By you sharing when you started to compare yourself to others, I also reflected on when I began comparing myself with other girls. It probably started in 5th or 6th grade and got worse as I got older. I would gaze at some girl I thought was cool and pretty and totally forget about myself. I only saw my insecurities measured against the beautiful image set before me. In a sense, I lost myself and didn’t keep my mind open to who God had created me to be in my personality. Competing is pride speaking and completing is humility speaking. Which voice do I want to listen to?

  48. Favorite part of the devotion was that we’ll never measure up with others, as we’re comparing our INsides, with their OUTsides. Reading Confident Heart right now!

  49. Melissa B. says:

    Right now I am struggling with figuring out what God wants me to do. I want a calling…I’m discouraged. I could use that giveaway book right now!

  50. I have been so blessed by your posts today.

  51. I love the idea of being His masterpiece. Being made on purpose with a purpose! Your words encourage me on my journey. I am hoping to get back to the basics of who I really am- how God sees me- and what special purpose I can serve while living in the confident assurance of being His special, and yes beautiful (!), masterpiece!

  52. I’ve been so blessed by reading your devotionals. Even though I grew up homeschooled, with a great family who affirmed me, I have still struggled with comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate. This devotional really spoke to my heart today. It’s so easy to forget that God really feels this way about me, and He made me just the way I am for a reason. I’d love to have help figuring out what He has designed me to do, because I’m still not sure yet, and I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything.

  53. Adriana says:

    I am a habitual comparison maker vulnerable to the opinions of others. I think it started as a child hearing “Why can’t you be more like…so and so”. Then being raised by a critical parent left me always second guessing who I was or what I was doing or was I good enough….and set up a pattern of trying to satisfy others expectations instead of being confident in who I am and who God has made and designed me to be. I lost track of who I am and became a hodgepodge of other people.

  54. To just b me and no one else. To like me and love me.

  55. Susan K says:

    Thank you for the timely reminder that we should not compare ourselves to others. I like the line you quoted that says “We never measure up since we are comparing our inside with someone else’s outside.”

  56. Thank you for this devotion. It comes at a perfect time for me. I work in the church office, but have a longing that it’s not enough or maybe not the right place. I see other women around me discovering their path & I feel confused. What am I doing wrong? Why am I not going someplace specific yet? What does the future hold? I would relish a test with a result that I can lean towards and see where my thoughts and feeling fit in. To be on the path that God planned would be a great comfort.

  57. Grace Lane says:

    I just needed to hear once again how much the Lord loves me! I’m so tired of comparing myself to others. It so takes away from who God wants us to be. It’s freeing to operate in your gifts and then sometimes to have the Lord show you that you are gifted in other areas and to operate out of our comfort zones. I’m looking foirward to reading a Confident Heart with my daughter this summer.
    God Bless
    Grace 🙂

  58. Michelle says:

    So deeply encourage by your book and the devotions, learning my value it God is making my outlook in life so much better, I excited to discover more of myself as I give myself to HIM!!! Thanks for all you do to share HIS word to the world!!!

  59. Susan Hutch says:

    THANK YOU for the assessment test. Finally something that will give me a definite
    answer as to what Our Lord wants me to do in his kingdom. I never felt like I had
    a “special” gift. I’m excited to find out now what my gift is! I am also praying that
    in learning who I am in Christ that I will be more self confident knowing that God
    created me for a purpose–it makes me feel actually important!! I have never ever
    had this feeling before. Praise Our Father in heaven and thank you Renee, for
    sharing your gift with me!!!!!!!!!! Blessings!!

  60. Florence says:

    “Every time we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we’re comparing our insides with their outsides.” – This seems to be truer now more than ever, especially with all the blogs and social media available to us. I’ve found myself comparing myself to other bloggers who manage to post every day, maintain their households, cook from scratch and do all these things that I can’t seem to do. Then there are my “friends” on Facebook who keep on posting photos about their vacation, kid’s activities, eating out and such when I have not taken a real vacation in years and my son’s activity consist of daycare so I can go to work. Sometimes, especially when I’m really tired, I fall into the “woe is me” mindset. But there are also those times that I remember how far God has taken us and all the He has done for us and I am grateful.

  61. Rita Walters says:

    As a little girl, I use to go in the dark corner of the closet and pray that God would let me die so my mother would be happy. My mother repeatedly told me I was a mistake God made …. and she never wanted me. This went on for most of my life until in a very loving, caring bible study group, I discovered the real truth – I am His workmanship and He loves me. Those words have changed my life completely. I now have dates with Him and we talk about so many things. He lets me know how much He cares about me – and how much He loves me over and over. I pray every day that I may help other women find His Love – and hopefully my Mom in heaven knows now how much God loves her and me. Unfortunately she died before I was able to share with her myself but I know God wants me to share this word – love – with everyone so they will also know how much God loves each of them…..and how precious they are to Him. Thank you God for loving me and for allowing me to share with others.

  62. I’m a PTSD survivor & am learning to experience victories on top of smaller victories. I still trigger & I have a hard time giving myself grace, but I’m inching my way forward with tenacity. I want to give up often, but God is growing me through the call to continue to reach. He is showing the way that I’m to go. He is making me better than new.

    • Terri, Keep up the good work. Don’t know your situation or how long ago, but do know you are on the right track. Have come to learn that when things seem to be going good & then have a “flashback” it is so God can heal me at a deeper level. Still struggling & hard to remember this at the time, but God is faithful.

  63. I am a 27y/o stay at home mom of two pre-schoolers. All my life I have always compaired myself to everyone else trying to figure out why I dont measure up, why other’s dont like me. I still compair myself to every mom/woman I think are better than me or who seem to have it all figured out. It is a tremendous struggle to not let it “get” to me, and it has caused many arguments w/ the Hubby. And for the past 3 1/2 years I have been struggling w/ sever depression. I was actually doing really well for the last several months up until receintly. It really feels like every dream or goal my hubby and I have talked about is coming true for everyone else. I cant help but to cry. These same people I trusted and confided in, belittled me and told me my ideas were horrible, then later they do exactly what I said to them! (i.e. I want to home school. She said it was a horrible idea and not good for my kids. But now she is homeschooling. ..the list could go on) I pray everyday to stop being like this bc I really dont like who I’ve become. And Thanks to your post today, I now have a little spark of hope that I can change and our Heavenly Father will be with me through it all!! Im not the only one who has/had this struggle! Thank you so much Renee!! Your post could have not had better timing =)

  64. I am learning to accept that God has a plan specifically for me and it is probably not going to follow what I think my plan should be. We are experiencing some trials and tribulations right now in our family and God is showing me that He can use even these things to build me up and prepare me for His future plans for me. Even when I feel like things are at their worst, God is turning what Satan intended for evil into something wonderful. I just have to have faith, believe in God’s grace and mercy and wait to see what He will unfold in my future.

  65. Susan Hutch says:

    Your post really touched me. I cant imagine all you went thru as a child. God is good
    tho since you now know the truth that you are loved and are here for a purpose that
    only you can accomplish! My heart goes out to you, pls accept my hug today for your
    painful past…

  66. I look forward to your words each day, I have been struggling with accepting that I am anything but a failure lately, I know it is the enemy, but is gets tough some times…I have been divorced for 20 years and I have a blessing of a son, but he is 5 hours away and the solitude has been tough lately!

    But I just keep drawing close to Him and remembering His promises…

    I know God has a plan, I just want Him to hurry! LOL!

  67. We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, NLT I love to think that I’m God’s masterpiece! I never thought of it this way. I like what Renee’s friend said, “Every time we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we’re comparing our insides with their outsides.” It’s like comparing apples to oranges.. they just don’t compare because they are totally different and so are we totally different, created to be unique.

  68. Beautiful. One of my favorite songs. I have four daughters and it is my dream that they all know how treasured they are, how beautiful, how much He loves them. How worthy they are of being loved. It is my prayer that in any area where I have failed to teach this lesson, God’s Spirit of love and grace will prevail.

    My oldest are 19 and 20 and now I look back and see so many things I could have done differently. But, this chapter had me really looking at my personality, talents, and spiritual gifts. Perhaps I did just what was needed, just what I was able to do, to help shape them into who He wants them to be. Praise God that He loves them even more than I do. And it’s awesome to know that He loves me with that very same love!

  69. Mary Beth Schaden says:

    I really enjoy reading your emails and appreciate your dedication to encouragement to women on finding our security in God. Your words have been very beneficial to me. I really enjoyed the study A Confident Heart.

  70. Kristen Barkdull says:

    I find myself comparing who I am to others all the time! I want to be happy with who I am but when I see other women who are skinnier and prettier than me, it is hard. I do not know how to be happy with who I am. I know I am a good person on the inside but it is my outside that I have most of the issues with. I know God loves me just the way I am so why can’t I love me just the way I am? I struggle with this msot days.

  71. Renee – thank you soooo much for the video link to Mercy Me’s “You are Beautiful”
    That is very powerful – an so wonderful to ponder!

  72. Today’s blog post…I am loved…chosen. Just reading those words brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been struggling with accepting who I am for so very long. Just nice to hear it…now its up to me to believe it.

  73. Definitely need this today. Been a rough couple weeks: almost lost my stepdad, hit with realization that my Granddad who died in March died after 5 weeks in the hospital & now my Dad has been in the hospital for 4 1/2 weeks; frustrations with doctor’s office as well as circumstances that have made the pain much worse, making me even more isolated than usual; not sleeping which makes everything worse…. If had to pick one thing (devotion, post, video) would be the video. Love this song & perfect timing. First time through watched & listened to it, & then kept playing it while reading through the other posts.

  74. Jennifer Wallin says:

    Dear Renee ~

    Thank you sooooo much for posting this video today. I needed this reminder. Let me tell you a beautiful little story. Last year something very difficult happened in my family. However, as God uses all things for our good, my family was forever changed by the grace and mercy of our Heavenly Father. My dad was greatly changed. He has always loved the Lord and his family, but he is the quiet type. I have always known of his love for me through his actions, but not so much through his words. Last summer he called me out of the blue and held up his cell phone to the radio as this very song you shared today was playing. After it was done, he told me that when it came on he thought of me. He said he knew he hadn’t done a great job of telling me that often and that he loved me. Oh, how the tears flowed……..

    Thank you for reminding me of that very special moment again today. I love that my Heavenly Father and my earthy father are both singing this over me. I am soooooo blessed!!!!! 🙂

    Be BLESSED today ~


  75. LOVED the P31 devotion today… such a timely word for me. I especially loved this statement – because it reminded me again that I do not need to attempt to be like anyone else!!

    “The only way we’ll break free from the comparison trap is by embracing who we are instead of trying to be who we are not.”

  76. These are the words that I needed to hear, though they are hard for me to take in. I am 32 and living a life that I am not passionate about. I feel like noone cares that I exist except if it is helping them. I know God loves me just as I am but I want to know why I’m here-what my reason is. That is what I am struggling with today.

  77. I am a 43 year old recently divorced mother of two teens (The Giants) who has learned the healing power of God’s word. After a 14 year marriage to my college sweetheart we both knew it was not meant for us. During our stint, he fell in and out of love with God and with me too. I honestly thought there was something I needed to do or become in order for our marriage to work. Boy was I wrong! I now know that not only was I a good wife but also a godly wife thanx be to God! God’s word would always convict me about my language, my attitude, my friendships, my devotion to my husband, etc. I thought I wasn’t good enough for him at one point. But, God, in His infinite love for me helped me to see how He would “give men in exchange for me”, “never leave me,”and be “my husband!” How could I not fall in love with Him all over again? He continues to lavish me with His love, wisdom, and faithfulness. I am so glad that He chose me to be His girl and to bring others to Him. He truly is a wonder.

  78. Since starting this online study I have been dealing with who I am and how God sees me. On last year I had someone I love dearly to tell me some hurtful things about how they felt about me. I was devastated. this persons words were hurtful and cut me like a knife. I couldn’t believe my own family member would treat me like that. I have since forgiven her but for a while I was in a state depression eventhough I knew what enemy said was a lie. I began to go to my word and quote scriptures on who God said I was. I would put them on my facebook page so I could go back and read them.

    Oh how He loves us. What a wonderful place I am in on today. God sees everything he even touches those hurting places that we think have been hidden.

    This online study and your book is just confirmation for me on the great love God has for us. Nothing can take away from the His word but the Confident Heart has truly been a blessing to read!

  79. Veronica says:

    Although I read your Proverbs 31 Devotion today, this message adapted for A Confident Heart really resonated with me. Tears stung my eyes as I looked at that red rose in the sea of yellow ones. That is exactly how I feel sometimes but not in a special way. God spoke to my heart to tell me that I am special and He does see me. Even if I feel that I blend in and don’t stand out in the crowd; even with 3 billion people around me, God still sees me and He knows me and He is pleased with how I have made an effort to seek Him with all of my heart. How that warmed my heart and still overwhelms me as I type this message. God is such an awesome God! Although He has millions of galaxies to look over, He sees and knows me here on earth and loves me as if I was the only one that existed. Our God is an awesome God; there is none like Him. I’m so glad I know Him and serve Him. Today my spirit lept and I feel stronger and more confident in God. Blessings to you Renee for being willing to be used to facilitate my growth. Praise be to God!!

  80. Sometimes I feel so forgotten and invisible. Like I’m going through difficult times and everyone else is getting helped except me. I try really hard to remember that God still loves me and sees me as important, but the longer I struggle, the more alone I feel. Is. 43:4 of course strikes a chord…those beautiful verses are the ones I hold close.

  81. My boss is a bully…he often makes fun of me, and is patronizing and condencending…he’s like that with most the employees exept those that are part of his group. I am unappreciated, demorilized and underemployed…I have Master’s Degree , and haven’t looking but have not found better quality of work because of the economy most of us are underemployed. I pray to God every day for God to open a window and find a more positive job environment with a better pay and opporunities in my area of study. Please pray for me. I feel God has forgotten about me and sometimes I am begining to feel discouraged.

  82. Misty Joe says:

    In today’s world we get so lost in titles and names that we loose ourselves in all of it. For me I look in the mirror and I see a mom with three teenagers, an accounting clerk, a daughter, a girlfriend, a friend, a worker in the nursury, welcome table, and womens group at church. The list could go one but I’m sure we all know that list very well. Most of all though I see myself as invisible. I see myself as unloved, not good enough for anything and just a speck of dirt on the face of this earth. This study has helped me so much with all of this. This chapter and blog show us that we are one of kind. Every speck of dirt is one of a kind and God sees all. So while I may just be a whirlwind mess going from place to place God sees everything I’m doing and He loves me for me. Thank you for showing us that.

  83. Candice says:

    Right now I am spinning. I’m unsure what direction God wants me to go. I’m trying to be still and listen. I’m trying to be patient. I’m trying not to feel uncertain and worried. But the truth is I do. Last week I began to sink in the black hole of depression. Fear crept in and began to show me that I wasn’t good for anything; that I had no marketable skills. Why did I quit my short teaching career of eight years? But in my heart I know that God has more intended for me. I don’t know what my gifts or talents are. They aren’t evident to me. But it will come. I’ve taken the Briggs Myers Personality Test and remain confused :-). After a much long and much needed discussion with my (my best friend and supporter), I admitted that I wanted to serve. I wanted to work for our church, however those doors of opportunity aren’t opening. Perhaps God is planning and putting all the pieces together.

  84. What a chapter. I finished reading this pm, but need to work on the questions. The blog and video set a wonderful tone to do so. Thank you and blessings to all, Julie

  85. What God is speaking to me is that His expectations of me are the only ones that matter. As you said so well, “He loves the way He made me.” I can be confident that He planted traits in me to see and do things in a certain way–and I don’t have to worry about making choices to please other people. Pleasing Him is my only concern. That is very freeing.

  86. A great message today and oh so timely. It is so easy to compare ourselves to others and feel that we come up short. I am reminded that only He judges and He loves each one of us as He created us. Like it has been shared, we can only see the outside of what we compare ourselves with-I know that He lives in me – and HE is beyond compare. If I can remind myself that if He chose me, then He has decided I AM SOMEONE SPECIAL and He is never incorrect. Blessings to all my SPECIAL Sisters in Christ.

  87. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for speaking God’s word to me in my time of need.

  88. Tish McNeill says:

    The video you shared made me think about a new friend that my 15 year old daughther has met! He was saved during our churches 3 week revival, and his home life is not great, he doesn’t even like to talk about it. Several months ago he was hanging with the wrong crowd and was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now that he has gotten saved, people still look at the old person, and that is so wrong, people should be willing to give chances, because God gave and gives us each and everyone second/third/fourth/etc….chances each and everyday! I would just ask each of you to help me pray for this young man and his family and also help me to pray that my family can be a positive impact in his life, and let him know that we are all beautiful the way God created us all to be in our own special way!

  89. Renee: What a blessing this study is. I have suffered from the comparison trap most of my life and God is showing me how wrong I was and how I need to count solely on Him for my afirmation. He sent His Son to die for me. How much more should I need to be affirmed as valuable?

  90. I love the thought from the song that there is so much more. I struggle with it since I’m 59 years old and it’s hard for me to believe that there is so much more even at this age. I keep reminding myself that Moses began at 80!
    I dare to believe in spite of my feelings. Thanks for the book and this study, and mostly, for the continual encouragement.

  91. I am always amazed at how God knows EXACTLY what we need. I have been struggling so much lately with who I am and not knowing my purpose. Though I am 55, there have been so many changes and things happening, people moving out of my life, that I feel as though I don’t know what I am supposed to do. When I couldn’t sleep last night, I had a long prayer time with God and gave it all to him. Today, reading the devotion, and listening to the song, tears just streaming down my face, with the reminder that I am beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you.

  92. I love the video….great to be reminded that I’m cherished, beautiful and chosen by God! Sometimes we can go through so many things in life, it’s good to be reminded how God views us.

  93. Debbie Brewer says:

    Wow, comparing our insides with our outsides, how amazing is that, We are fearfully and wonderfully made and we still compare ourselves to others, boy, the flesh really does beat us up inside and out doesn’t it. But God’s word is so encouraging and hopeful and will never return void. Praise the Lord!!!

  94. That song just moves me and brings tears to my eyes. I’m am going through a divorce after 17 yrs of marriage. I’m hustling to take care of my three kids and make things as good as I can for them. It’s hard to feel good about myself when I have been betrayed by someone I trusted completely and loved so deeply. I tried so hard to hold things together, but I could not do it alone. God has given me a peace about the divorce, however I still struggle with one big thing. No matter how hard I try, how much I pray, how many times I tell myself this is the result of his choices and I didn’t do anything to deserve this… I can’t shake that nagging buzz in my ear that says “What’s wrong with you?” I ask myself why I wasn’t beautiful enough, was I not nice enough, was I not smart enough, why didn’t I matter enough to my husband.
    When I hear the words of this song, I am reminded that my Father thinks I’m beautiful and He created me. (Psalm 139:13)
    I know I am worth more that many sparrows. (Luke 12:6-7)
    I know I have a future that my Father holds in His hands. (Jer. 29:11)
    I know I can trust Him. (Prov. 3:5-6)
    I know I will get through this. (Phil. 4:13)
    I know I am in His protection. (2 Sam 22:18)
    I know I will be better, stronger, smarter AND more beautiful than ever. (Mark 9:23)
    Every day I am stepping out of the boat and walking on faith. 🙂

    • Dallena Hess says:

      Amen! Love your list!

    • Dallena Hess says:

      All my life, I’ve known that I’m different. I was sick alot as a child.

      I’m glad I’m the way god made me. I’m very tall as I’m 6’1. i have a great and encouraging smile. And, I have a very positive attitude. I feel that God wants me to enjoy being the girl that he created and let his love shine thru me and my smile.
      I listened to the song today and I sense him saying “you are my girl”

  95. Kim Ward says:

    As I was listening to this song that I’ve heard so much, it really means so much more when you are truly starting to see who you are to God… tears can’t help but come into my eyes. It’s amazing to me that God loves me… that’s a simple truth that I’m still trying to really grasp. It’s beyond our comprehension… He loves me… all of me. This study is helping me to grow so much in God and his Word… and it’s really made me think about questions for my own life that I never have even though to ask myself…
    What do I like to do? What makes my heart come alive? How would I fill my free time if I had no fears on insecurities? If finances were unlimited and failure unlikely, what would be my dream? What would I do if neither time nor money was an issue?
    I always go back to this… I’m a big dreamer, and I say if your gonna dream and believe God for something dream big! Nothing shall be impossible with God. My biggest dream and I just want to share is travel and go around the world (wherever God sends me) and tell people about Jesus and most of all that he loves them. Everytime I do devotion at work, it seems like God always centers it right back to LOVE. I love people, and I love talking to people about Jesus. It says in the book of Malachi, how that those that feared God, spake often one to another about Him…and God has a book of remembrance where he writing it down everytime we talk to others about Him…(whether its other believers, or non-believers) he’s keeping a record of it and that blows me away! I want to tell the world about Jesus! That’s my biggest dream, and I truly feel like God has placed that desire in my heart… I want others to know that hope that I’ve come to know and believe! God is so good! I couldn’t have asked for a better study to join… its the first one I’ve ever done and I’m so glad I joined it, and that God has given me the GRACE to keep committed to it. It’s been such a blessing to hear your insight Renee and all these others around the world!
    The thing I loved the most about Chapter 8 was the Personality Trait Chart… I was the Sanguine: Desires FUN. And it was me dead on. That’s one thing that I find myself having a hard time doing.. is to not be too serious all the time… and just live life and have fun and enjoy it. I’ve got better, but it’s like I find myself at times being afraid to have fun, not necessarily being afraid… just thinking I’ll get to focused on things of this world and lose my focus on Jesus. I am a serious person, but if there is one trait I wish I had more of it would be to laugh more, and to have more fun. I feel at times that I’m boring… But like I just said that’s a feeling. We don’t go by what we feel, but by what God’s word says… loved this chapter! Looking forward to the rest!

  96. You just don’t know how refreshing it was to let those last few words wash over me . . . loved, cherished, treasured, His . . . how powerful that affirmation was!!! Thank you!! 🙂

  97. There really is nothing more important than believing that each one of us matters to and are known and loved by God. And I have to tell myself over and over that His way of loving me is beyond comparing to how we frail humans love. He doesn’t mess up or forget or leave. He doesn’t give up on me when I mess up or forget or leave Him for a bit. Thank you, Lord, for loving us so much.

  98. merely a shadow says:

    it’s difficult to break the pattern of comparison when you’re raised hearing, “why aren’t you more like so-and-so?!”, or “if you looked like so-and-so, life would be kinder to you”, or “if you sang like so-and-so…” or “danced like so-and-so” or “had grades like so-and-so…” or “had talents like” or, well, you get the picture! even now as an adult, there are employers feeding us the same lines, comparing us to co-workers, comparing our companies to other organizations in the industry… it’s almost impossible to look in the mirror and see a true, sincere reflection! i can’t tell you how many times the song “beautiful” has caused me to break down into sobbing… me? Sacred? more like Scared… scared of what the world may see, or do if i don’t measure up… not saying that playing the comparison game is right. just saying that sometimes it becomes a part of who we are… habits hard to break… i know i’m loved, but confidence is not something i possess…

  99. karen in Canada says:

    This song starts with words that describe me so clearly! I have heard this song so many times, but today it really spoke love to me and I soooo needed that. I listened to it over and over and again with my two little daughters. They love it too:)
    We are meant for so much more than all of this!!! Thank you Lord!!! Now my prayer is that He will show me what that is.
    In Chapter 8, you start by saying that at 32 you didn’t have a clue what your dreams or desires were, here I am at almost 43 with not much clarity on these things for my life, other than to mother my daughters. My marriage is struggling and my relationship with my step-sons is difficult and complicated.
    Praying for clarity and strength for all of us!
    Donna from Honalulu, if you read this I am still praying for you:) Miss your posts…
    May God continue to bless you all!!!

    • Sunshine says:

      me too Karen; I am mean for so much more than all of this. @59 years old I though my life would be so different now. I’ve got to stop blaming myself for the marriage I’ve threw away. I think that guilt makes the relationship that I’m in now where there seems to be no future marriage commitment hurt even more. How can love hurt so bad??

    • Donna from Honolulu, Hawaii says:

      KAREN- Hi my friend!!!! Don’t you worry- at least you have your daughters to mother and that is a blessing in itself- I cannot have children I had Breast cancer and it forced me into menopause:( But I have fostered a baby boy who is now 5years old and re-united with hi father, I still pick him up from time to time to spend the weekend with Aunty Donna 🙂
      I dedicate this song to you & all the ladies reading!
      You need to go to youtube and check out the “Katina’s” song called “THANK YOU” These are local boys from the island-but very popular Christian Band
      Just read the lyrics-you know it’s so awesome
      when I listen to this song- I lift my hands and worship Our Lord- it gives me peace, it also makes my heart happy despite the world of problems around us! Please if you get the chance Karen listen to it!
      Just a little while longer I wanna pray
      Can’t get You off my mind so I came to say
      Thank You Lord just for loving me
      Many times as I do forget
      Every need that You have met
      Oh thank You Lord, I know You’re showing me
      You are there when I am down and out
      You’re holding me, Your love is so amazing
      Oh it changed me

      Here I am with all I am
      Raise my hands to worship You
      I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
      For everything, for who You are
      You cover me, You touch my heart
      I wanna say thank you

      I could have died in my sin but You saved me
      Didn’t have any hope at all
      You gave me peace divine, strength to carry on
      I should have been the one to pay
      But instead You took my place
      My Jesus, words cannot explain
      Even though I don’t deserve Your love for me
      You look beyond my fault and You showed mercy


      I wanna say thank you for the sun
      I wanna say thank you for the rain
      Everything You do is beautiful
      I’m so grateful for Your love

  100. Crystal says:

    Dear Renee,

    God’s divine plans amaze me. We have been talking in church about Habakkuk, and I feel Habakkuk 2:3 is for me, that God has an “appointed time” for some things I’ve been waiting for. Our verse this week coincides with that perfectly (Eph. 2:10) that “I can do the good things He planned for me long ago.” Thank you for doing this study and allowing yourself to be used by God to touch my life and many others : )

    • Sunshine says:

      the appointed time; one of my favorite scriptures and when I can’t hold to anything else I let my tears fall and ask God to help me hold on till the appointed time

  101. The Comparison Trap devotional really spoke to me today. It is funny how much more I identified with it when I you mentioned what you looked like – fair skin and freckles, I identified with this message even more as during the middle school years I was teased for those things as well. Sometimes it is things we find in others that are similar are what draws us towards them or their point of view. I suppose this is a form of comparing also.

    But I love the message that your friend shared with you about how we compare our insides with the other persons outsides! This is so true and sounds silly when you think about it this way.

    This was a great message!

  102. Sunshine says:

    My, my, my! I watch this video and I see my face in every face that appears there. Every emotion that they portray I have felt this week and am feeling again right now with tears streaming down my face. I have written before about the 22 year marriage I threw away because of a decision based on “feelings” and the 3 year relationship that I’m in now where a marriage commitment seems to be nowhere in sight. This past Sunday my boyfriend and I were with is family celebrating a special birthday. Family everywhere; most of which I know and they know me. Many expect me to be present during these family functions as does he. He and I were talking and somehow we got on the subject of a female he started to hook up with before me. He said she had told him she wanted a HUSBAND and his reply was well she’d picked the wrong man cause he was hardly trying to get married. When the words came out of his mouth I could have sunk through the sofa I was sitting on. Three years of my life I have dedicated to this man. And marriage is not even a consideration??? At that moment I felt like I had no strength; right then I felt like I was not worth anything. I wanted to get up and walk out but of course we’d come together and he’d drove and home was quite a distance away but the rest of the entire evening was just a blur to me. I tried to mask my feelings but several people asked what’s wrong?? Is everything all right with you? I was heart broken; I’m still heart broken and I’m at the point now where I’m asking God should I just end it now before I waste more of my time. But I love him, I love his family and I don’t want to give any of it up. I don’t want to have to start all over again building a new relationship and learning someone new. The sad thing about all of this is that I know he loves me but he is still wounded from his first failed marriage. He too needs to have a confident heart. I want to keep this video and play it over and over and over again until I can stop the pain, I am made for so much more than all of this

  103. I lose every time I compare my inside and outside with another’s outside. I’m 54 and still struggle with comparisons. I am slow but sure learning to see myself as God sees me.

  104. I need to remember that God DOES care about me. Even though I’m not starving, have a roof over my head, a loving family, wonderful friends…all the blessings of life, He STILL cares about what’s on my heart. Now I just need to figure out how to listen for His voice in the midst of all the other “stuff” in my head and heart…

  105. It is so true that the most important thing I need to remember is that God cares about me. It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks of me or says about me ~ His love is all I need! Thank you so much for your inspiring posts and sharing your heart with us through this study.

  106. Lonetta says:

    I have never thought about it in that way of comparing myself to someone else until I read the devotional today. I think a lightbulb went off. My head knows all of the things that God says about me, but my heart doesn’t always allow me to believe it. I’m looking foward to the online study and I’m anticipating more ways that my heart will accept the truth. Thank you so much for today’s word from God

  107. Esther Smith says:

    I confess I always thought that when those at church spoke of spiritual gifts, it was just a way to get volunteers. I feel bad about that now. I see that being created in Christs image means so much more than my human form, it means giving of myself, as Christ gave of himself, as his disciples gave of themselves. And when I was born again, as Renee says in her book, Christ gave me the gift he had been waiting so long to give me, my spiritual talent. It seems a hard gift to unwrap however, and I have been saved for years, although if I am to be honest I just went along doing my “Christian duty”, and never really letting it all sink into my heart. I wanted it to, but I didn’t know how. I see now that I wasn’t going to be struck by a lightning bolt, and it wasn’t going to just going to spontaneously happen without me doing my part. I had to make God’s word something that I took to heart, believe His promises. I had to talk to Him in a whole different way, a way I never had before, not as a divinity that I couldn’t really get close to, or wasn’t worthy of being close to, but as a Father who truely loves me! Having had problems with my earthly Father it was hard to do that, but I have finally forgiven those in my past, and forgiven myself for my part. Once I had asked for forgiveness for myself and from those I could, and telling God I forgave those that had passed on, it all changed. I felt a weight lifted off of me, so much hurt and anger taken away, I also felt at peace with my own father who had passed on, and able to fully love my heavenly Father. I am ready now to unwrap more of my spiritual gift to see what God wants me to do as a part of the body. I also feel worthy, loved, and ready to allow myself to let God love me fully, to talk to my Father like a daughter should, and to do my best to make my Daddy proud! Thank you for the beautiful video today Renee, it really helped drive home how much my Daddy does love me! I am still unsure of how to find my spiritual gift, and could use some help in unwraping it, so if I am blessed with the book, I would be delighted! If not, I will not stop searching though. I am inspired more than ever before to find my gift now! 🙂

    • Dallena Hess says:

      Esther- good to see you on here again. I’ve been thinking alot about this chapter like we all have. I know I have the gift of enouragement. God impressed me with this thought that we are all very loved and precious ‘daddy’s girls” because we are HIS girls. Hope this encourages you and the rest of the ACH sisters like it does me!

      • Esther Smith says:

        Hi Dallena! Good to see you here again too! 🙂 I took the test Renee had, and I got Administration, and then by one point less, and all tied, Exhortation (“This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables certain Christians to deliver challenging and encouraging words.”), Faith (“This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit provides Christians with great confidence to believe and expect great things from God”.), and Wisdom (This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit empowers particular Christians with a supernatural understanding of God’s Word and the will to apply it to life situations.”). I don’t know how I got any of these really other than Administration, which is what I did as a career for years. I don’t quite know what to do with all of this. I need to pray on it, and think of what God wants me to do with the information, and if I do have those gifts, what I can do with each of them to bless others, and please God as a part of the church body. I really have to wonder about wisdom as one of my gifts, as I have never felt I had a “supernatural” understanding of God’s Word. I have even doubted at times if I was doing Bible studies I was in the right way! It was a good test though, and I tried to be very honest in my answers.

        Thanks for the encouragement Dallena (I think you are right about your gift :)! Hope you have a blessed week! 🙂

  108. Thank you Renee! I also compare myself to others. It’s so amazing to think I am constantly a work in progress to be more like Him every day. It humbles me to think that He looks at me and sees true beauty, I’m exactly where He wants me to be and my worth is more than rubies! I am unique and that’s the way He wants it!
    How great is our God!

  109. katie sarnecki says:

    I have been on a journey for the past 2 years of healing. I still struggle with feeling like what I have to offer is not valuable or important. I would love to discover who god meant me to be and where I am supposed to fit and serve the body.

  110. Loved the music video….really reminded me “how much more” we really are…..than we think ourselves to be. Powerful words describe us: treasured, chosen, loved, sacred, His!!!! We need to remember that next time we find ourselves comparing, or feeling unloved. Thanks as always for the encouragement Renee!

  111. I took the spiritual gift assessment. The first time I took one was over twenty years ago. I’ve taken one other before now. No matter how much I experience life, and grow, and change, my spiritual gifts remain constant! Same gifts, different applications. Made me smile and think, the Spirit is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.
    I encourage everyone to take the assessment. Rejoice in the gifts you’ve been given, and don’t sweat the low scores! God’s got someone else covering those areas. 🙂

    • Jessica H. says:

      I agree, LeAnne! Everyone should take the assessment! I’ve taken a personality assessment in a psychology class, but never a spiritual gift assessment such as this – I was pleasantly surprised! 🙂

  112. I’m 43 and burned out leading a children’s ministry, even though I thought organization was “my thing”. I long to be all I can as a wife and mother. I haven’t read the entire Chap 8 yet, but was just wondering this morning about asking what books and assessments Renee was talking about. Thank you for the opportunity to win one. But most of all, thank you for your wonderful ministry and book. I know it’s blessing me, as well as the ladies in my Sunday Bible study, as I share some of your encouraging insights.

  113. I had a bad day today. Spent much time looking for financial papers that I needed. Went to my mother’s condo (she recently passed away) and found many crickets in her storage closet. Argued with a sibling. And worst of all, I received a rejection on an article that I had written on speculation for a magazine. That last item made me question, “Why do I think I’m called to be a writer?” Then I read the “You’re One of A Kind” post and my day got a whole lot better. I look forward to finding out my spiritual gifts. Thank you.

  114. nancys1128 says:

    I absolutely LOVE that song. God often uses music to reach deep into my heart, and this song is a grab-it-and-don’t-let-go example. The greatest thing is that I’ve heard this song many times, but today was the day God chose to reveal Himself to me through it. He really is in control, and knows what we need and when to send it to us. Thanks soooo much for sharing it.

  115. Thank you for your ministry to women. I have failed to follow God ‘s leading in so many phases of my life. I see other women who seem so confident and positive in their lives and just want to be so much like them I often seek music as a calming, consoling escape and I am thankful for the song you posted . I am made for so much more. Thankful that God has not given up on me.

  116. I must first thank you so much for your blogs and emails. I received the email for this blog at a time today that I was literally about to walk out of my job. I happened to check my email and this was in my inbox. It had the desired effect of calming me down. I have been really struggling at work lately with a lot of negativity and extra work loads. I am usually easy going and I can multitask like no one’s business, and that has helped me in so many areas of my life. I feel God calling me to do something different but I can’t figure out what it is. I have so much going on that I am praying for peace and stillness for Him to guide me to what He wants me to do. I have found that during these trouble times that I am having that reading your blog, P31, and/or Lysa’s blog I feel calmer. I always stand amazed at how God works and how he puts just the right thing in my inbox or since I subscribe to your updates via text, I receive an encouraging text just when I need it and pertaining to something that is happening in my life. Thank YOU for using your God given talents and helping us out!

  117. August Rose says:

    I really enjoyed Chapter 8. I thought back to how God led me to find my gifts years ago and yet now I amint a new place in my life of finding where to use my gifts and this was perfect. I am feeling God doing a “new thing” in my life and through this study. Taking an assessment in the pastwas good for where I was then but you know what? That was the past and there are so many things God has for me that I am finally open to trying and doing. I am the kind of person that learns something and wants to stick to it instead of branching out. I can now see and feel myself when I am fighting change. I was reading some of the characteristics and I saw where it said you do things out of obligation or because you are supposed to. I looked long and hard at that and many times I do that! I am starting fresh and glad to be. This book has helped me tremendously and I cant thank Renee enough. I love new in Christ! He really does make everything new in its time! August Rose

  118. August Rose says:

    I almost forgot! That song so spoke to my heart! I felt like dancing around my room! My daughter woke up this morning and said good morning beautiful! I said good morning pretty! I thought that is new why did she say that. I really like that! I opened my email tonight and there is this wonderful song. I had my daughter come listen we both are putting that on our ipods right now! I AM BEAUTIFUL! I am just so thankful for the nuggets of God that you share Renee. You are awesome in Christ and I am seeing that I am too through His eyes!

  119. Stephanie says:

    I have been searching for me. I married @ age 17, quit school, got mt GED, had my 1st child before turning 18. By age 24 I had 4 kids. I have been married for 17 yrs. I love my kids & have always been a stay at home mom. I was ok with it. But, now that my kids are getting older, I feel I’m having an identity crisis. I’m almost 35, next week, and I have NO idea who I am. This chapter is very helpful. I just pray God will reveal my identity as I feel empty. I never had a chance to ‘find myself’ at an age most girls do. I feel to old now…but I know God made me for a reason. I just need to figure out what it is. 🙂

  120. Kimberli says:

    I love the picture in the email you sent. In the last 5 months, I’ve lost my mom to leukemia, my step mom to a heart attack and my dad to melanoma (that was sunday). I really needed to feel loved. Now I do. This book is doing so much for me, teaching me how to be more confident in God and teaching me more about God’s Word. I am growing closer to God each day.

  121. I LOVE this Mercy Me song! Just reading those words– loved, precious, sacred, cherised, chosen, beautiful, I am HIS! — washes a calmness and a peace over me. I think I’ll write those words on a notecard and put it on my bathroom mirror. Thank you, and God bless you!

  122. I suppose all through grade school and on up through high school i was rediculously and painfully shy. If i could have mushed myself into the cinder block walls and become invisible i would have done it. I was an only child and grew up in a world of adults. Kids scared me and i watched the ones at school and they were mean. I never wanted to be anyone else though, i just wanted everyone to leave me alone. Little Miss Goody Two-shoes they called me, or dinky because i was small. Now i still really don’t have much use for myself. I know God doesn’t make junk but i think i must have been at the end of the line. Now because of medical problems that started 5 years ago, a severely bad back from my neck on down to my hips that makes it impossible to excerise i am 55 lbs overweight and i can’t stand it. I see myself as very ugly, not fearfully and wonderfully made. On the inside maybe but my outside is really screwed up.

  123. Pam Stewat says:

    I’ve had friends tel me, for decades, “you should be a writer!!” I’ve felt drawn in my heart, as well, to write but just don’t know how/where to start. Imagine my joy, bliss,ecstasy today when I read what Renee said in this chapter about her spiritual gifts and the thank you card. Thank you cards are my thing!! Not only do I love to write them…………………………..I create them thru the medium of rubber stamping!! 🙂 Prayng God will “stamp” his plan on my forehead so I will know how to proceed!! Thanks Renee for your courage to step out and write this book. You ARE changing lives!! PTL!!!

  124. I used to compare myself alot with other women. Thought they were so much more beautiful than I was. After my husband died and God revealed to me that He is my husband and that He loves me so much more, those comparisons became less and less. There are still some days when I see a lovely couple together and compare myself to them. Not having a husband to share things with, but then I remember that God is my husband and He is always listening to me and has time for me.

    God has also used the things that I have gone through and the gifts that He has given to me to help others. I mostly have been able to help other women in their struggles in their marriages, and just who they are in God. I have the gifts of counseling and praying for people. I’m known as the go to person who knows what is going on and needs to be done as well. Sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it is not.

    I am just so thankful that God has allowed me the opportunity to struggle and grow with Him through life experiences and that He has allowed me to help others through the things He has taught me.

  125. I am a school nurse and I spent 45 minutes today in the bathroom with a stressed out student. I wish that she could see that beautiful video. I want to send it to her mom but the family is not of the Christian faith, so i will need to talk to mom first I think. Please pray that she will be receptive to viewing this video and your website.

  126. Thanks for sharing what your friend said about comparing ourselves to others is like comparing our inside to their outside! I am so guilty of that!
    I need to be confident in Christ & the woman He created me to be!
    I love songs by Mercy Me, but I had not heard that one – thank you so much for sharing!

  127. It was eye opening to me that I am comparing my insides to another person’s outside. An interior to an exterior, who doe that? The inside of something is never like the outside nor was it mean’t to be. The inside is the substance, the character, personality and unique qualities. I need to remember this for myself and also when looking at others. I only see their outside not the inside which is their unique qualities. Sometimes I forget this and I judge my family members by their outside appearance and it’s then that I need to realize that they are doing the best they can and accept these best efforts.

  128. Comparison – Sometimes its not a bad thing. Its how we make friends. We compare ourselves to another and decide we have commonalities and pursue becoming friends.

    But mostly comparison is for me about more and less. They have more ….Hair, $$, Material goods, degrees, opportunities,are more coordinated, are more fit, or are less overweight, are less impatient, it can go on and on.
    Sometimes in comparing – we compare ourselves to ourselves, and we aren’t usually generous or kind with ourselves. I didn’t do as well today. I didn’t get as much done as the other day. I wasn’t as patient with someone as yesterday.

    We didn’t do all those things we intended to.
    Comparison often leads to envy. I wish I was as much ……or less……I wish I had………..or didn’t have……..

    It can be a very dangerous cycle, all that self talk in our heads that we often don’t realize we are saying.

    Thank you for this book and this chapter. For helping us to turn away from these thoughts.

  129. I really appreciated the pray from the devotional: “Dear Lord, thank You that I’m Your masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus so I can do good things You planned for me long ago. I want to stop comparing myself with others so I can become who You created me to be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

    I had a rough afternoon with my 17 year old. Not anything new, but she hit one of those spots deep inside that is from middle school when I didn’t dress well enough. Then in an office in LA when I didn’t dress well enough. Today she was telling me again that I wasn’t dressed well enough.
    I spent the day painting my bathroom and had changed into my paint stained overall short for the job after the dentist. I spent about 5 hours painting and listening to Air1 radio. I praise God that as His child, I am always, “Dressed well”…in the blood of Jesus with a Robe of righteousness. Nice way to end my day. thanks Renne

  130. Wow, where did you get all these women on line. You only had a few the regular’s you must have called them to join in. Like i said you have a certain group, i have shared and you treated me like an outcast. 🙁 Just like the world, you have your own group of women. Only five, one from Canada, and five others. Sad, i have tried to join in and i don’t even get a answer back.

  131. God is showing me to be more confident… showing me that if I hide in HIM I’ll be ok… but I can’t hide from him or his will and purpose… I need to loose my fear of rejection and believe for myself what I encourage others to believe in….

  132. The Lord is really working on me and it feels great. I am beautifull and I don’t need anybody else to compare with I did it so much it made me I’ll. I have even forgiven my husband for dissapering from my life and know that it’s not my fault your bible study taught me that. I see a diffrence in me and that makes me joyfull.

  133. This is big for me right now. God has been showing me that He created me just as I am and I am good. I am really working with Him on loving myself, accepting myself, knowing myself and not comparing myself to others. It’s a lot but with Him it is all good. Thanks for your post and encouragement and truth today.

  134. Donna from Honolulu, Hawaii says:

    First of all I want to say to you Renee & all the ladies online taking part in this great Bible Study “A Confident Heart” it’s been a personal journey like no other… and I love Mercy Me – YOU ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL IN HIS EYES!
    I loved my encouragement for today’s devotion “Comparison Trap”…. you know I thought once I left High School I’d stop the whole comparing me to them… But I still do it, everywhere I look work, TV, shopping mall- I always wish I could look like that- but I like what your friend Genia said ” Every tie we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we’re comparing our insides with our outsides”

    And in all honesty- When I watched Renee on video- I compare—I wish I knew as much as she does, I wish I could be as open and talented like she is, I wish I had as much faith…. She is so pretty!!! it’s terrible- and it’s almost automatically done… sorry Renee it’s just true how we are wired to cut ourselves down??? Chapter 8 whew…hard one! Lord Help Me!!!!

    Aloha from Hawaii xoxoxoxox

    • Karen in Canada says:

      Hi Donna
      I am happy to see and read you here this morning. I hadn’t noticed any posts from you lately and have been thinking and praying for you
      Thank you for your honest comments. I too thought I’d eventually grow up and out of this comparison trap, but like you I find myself doing it daily in my mind watching other stronger, more faithful, beautiful women around me. My prayer for ALL of us women struggling with this is that God through Renee’s powerful example and book will set us ALL free!
      Have a blessed day Donna!

      • Donna from Honolulu, Hawaii says:

        Hi Karen!!! I so happy to hear from you!!! I hope all is well with you- I know right- the whole comparison trap- UGH! I just need to always remember ” I AM GOD’S MASTERPIECE – HE HAS CREATED ME”

        Thank you Karen for always praying for me! I too pray that with the help of this great online bible study and “A Confident Heart-that all us women will be set FREE”

        Have a Joyous Day!

        xoxoxo Aloha from Hawaii- Donna

  135. Melissa says:

    I have a really hard time with the comparison trap!!! I always feel like someone can do it better, have a better idea or are more spiritual mature than me. I have been working on this and pray I can finally just look at myself the way the Lord does!!!

  136. This was such a sweet morning as I read this blog. He reminded me just how much he loves me. I recently got a promotion at work and have not had as much time to do this study because of that but he reminded me this morning that I need to get back on track. I need to get back on the path he has sit out for me.

  137. Good morning everyone! (seem to get this a day later than everyone else)
    God started trying to show me how loved I am a few years ago. I would come home from work and my daughter would run to the front door…..mind you, she was probably 13-14 at the time….and throw her arms around me saying, “Mom! you are home!” I was confounded(?), I can clearly remember asking myself, “Why does she love me so much…what is so great about me?”
    Soon after, God started opening my eyes to how much my husband loves me. For me, the first 10 years of our marriage was hard, probably because of my unrealistic expectations, but hard nevertheless. (In my eyes) I was never good enough, there was alot of fighting, he is a choleric personality, I am a melancholy, neither of us understanding each other and me always focusing on the negative. Even when it started getting better, I kept living in the past. But now, even during an arguement, God has enabled me to see the love and passion my husband has for me. Sometimes I sit and cry over the revelation of it.
    Now, God is showing me how much He loves me. Already not feeling adequate, I came to Christ thinking He was the answer to all my problems, well, He is, but not the way I was thinking He should be. Again, unrealistic expectations. When things didn’t change the way I thought they should, I began to feel unloved by God, not good enough, not performing well enough, etc. My heart grew hard and I lost hope in Him and walked around with a negative “in Christ” attitude. BUT NOW…through this study He is showing me who He really is, not who I had made Him out to be. He is showing me who I am, not what Satan had convinced me of, but who God says I am….beautiful, loved, cherished, and sacred!!
    As my perspective of Him changes, and my perspective of myself changes, my perspective on life is changing….it is looking better everday!! ♥

    • Karen in Canada says:

      Thank you for sharing Ladena
      I see myself in your story too!! It amazes me how similar many of us women on this journey are dispite our dividers t circumstances
      Our God is an amazing God of hope and love!!!

  138. As a working mom and wife it is so hard to have the confidence it takes come days. Just this week I was having a “breakdown” of sorts saying that I can’t do everything by myself and that I feel like I am a bad mom and wife for not keeping up with our home and such things. I realize that i am not doing things by myself, He is always with me! I just have to remember that everyday. I am thankful for a very helpful husband and hate that I took out my frustrations on him that day. He is understanding and just wonderful. Thank God for sending him to me. 🙂

  139. Rebekah says:

    My husband and I have been married for about 3 1/2 years. We’ve had more than our share of roller coaster rides. We’ve been to countless counselors. We’ve dealt with cheating. We’ve dealt with separation. We are currently back together trying to work out all of our issues. It is very challenging because, like the old saying say, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks! We are trying and learning every day…every HOUR even. But we are starting to see more ups coming our way and the downs being dealt with quicker and with more love at the heart.
    I am so blessed and honored to be a part of this group to share with and hear from everyone else. God bless each and every one of us!

  140. This P31 devo is really speaking to me. Especially the line that says “I was helping where I was needed but not where I was gifted.” I’m looking forward to doing the spiritual gift assessment to learn where God has gifted ME instead of where I think I SHOULD be. One ministry I do feel called to do, yet completely inadequate is co- leading the womens ministry at my church. I believe this may be our topic for our upcoming monthly meeting. Thank you for your insight and for sharing your God-given gift with others!

  141. Lakeeia says:

    I want to cry as I read the different posts because I am realizing more and more that I am not alone in this. I’ve struggled for many, many years with self-doubt and low confidence and as I read Renee’s Day 1 Devotion for the 7-day Doubt Diet, I realized that I covered up those real feelings with fear and worry. I want to be all that God has created/called me to be, but there are days when I simply don’t know where to begin. I often have a difficult time looking at myself in the mirror because of the guilt and the shame of my past and present. I can’t understand how anyone can love me, even when they say they do. The other day I asked my husband if we could go to a particular place and he responded, “Anything for you,” and immediately I believed he was only saying it because he wanted something from me or that he was being sarcastic. I have to admit–I don’t know how to let anyone love me for me. My children tell me all the time and it makes my heart melt because I know they mean it, but it has been hard for me to show them what true love is. Before I started reading a Confident Heart, God woke me up one night and gave me 1 Peter 4:8 and 1 John 4:18 to read and I immediately applied it to the way I haven’t been loving others, but I believe now that it was God’s way of showing me how much He loves me. Most people are criticized by others, but I am my biggest critic (about everything), which in turns makes me very critical and arrogant toward other people. I have believed so many of the enemy’s lies and I want a way out. Please keep me lifted in prayer as I become the woman, wife, mother, and daughter (of God) that He has called me to be.



  142. KAY PARRISH says:


  143. Jeanette says:

    I grew up never feeling good enough for anyone and always trying to be like everyone else. I never gave myself my true identity. I always find myself trying to compare myself to others rather than just being happy with who I am. I really do not know who that person is but I am trying to find her with God’s help. This devotion really spoke to me. Thank you Renee.

  144. I love Mercy Me & that song has always spoken to me as one who never thought of herself as beautiful. One point really jumped out at me in your devotion, “The Comparison Trap”. I never realized I was comparing what I felt on the inside to what I saw on the outside of someone else. Wow! What a difference that makes in perspective. I am going to remember that when tempted to compare myself again. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  145. I am made for so much more than the circumstances that I’ve let myself become part of, and I am more than what is hurting me today…thank you for sharing this song!

  146. I can’t tell you how much I really needed to hear this right now. You know those times you have pitty parties because things aren’t working towards your favor? Well that’s just the way life goes for me some times and right now that’s how my life seems to be. The boyfriend of 4 years ( a rocky relationship at that) has yet broken up with me again to only apologize and want me back to give my those promises that I have always wanted. I know I have those beautiful, kind loving caring insides. I show them all the time. Sometimes I wonder just what my faults are for my relationships not to happen. 1st my marriage of 14 years then my boyfriend. I now know I need to concentrate on me and my relationship with God and everything will fall into place. God see’s my beautiful self and that is all I need.
    Thanks for this.


  147. Heather V says:

    I love how God works and puts what He wants us to hear front and center in our lives. This study is exactly where God wants me right now. He has been working on my heart for a long time with breaking the comparison trap and I finally feel like I am having my “aha” moment. I am getting it! Thank you for sharing God’s truth!

  148. Michelle Holmquist says:

    I have a hard time seeing the beauty of within that God has given me to reflect on the outside my whole life. I have compared myself to so many people that it isn’t funny anymore and I am having a hard time know who I really am as a child of God and what God has for me to do. I have been an approval seeker all my life also, feeling not good enough for even myself. My husband is slowly trying to help me, but I have always had a hard time thinking for myself at times 🙁 Things are getting better. After the third child had come and staying home with her it has made me do a lot of thinking to find out who I really am. Slowly but surely some things are becoming clearer.

  149. Renee bueatiful song! I loved that! I’ve never heard that song before! I listened to the words! and whenever I get discouraged, I’ll just think of the lyrics to that song! I love mercy me! They are a great band! Thank you! and thank you for your encourageing words!

  150. Josephine says:

    It continues to amaze me how you seem to have a direct link to my thoughts. I have been very challenged in seeing myself the way God sees me. And with that challenge comes all manner of other struggles such as confidence, self worth, understanding the Love of God and how He loves me. Your devotionals and emails always minister to me and for that I am very grateful. I am looking forward to gaining some direction from the Spiritual Gifts Analysis…thank you for making that available. You are truly a treasure, God bless you.

  151. The song Beautiful brought tears tI my eyes! Sometimes I don’t feel worthy of His love. I’m learning through this study that He adores me and wants to use me, even if I don’t feel usable at times. I am so thankful to have God in my life!!

  152. Sometimes I don’t think that I can endure my circumstances at work anymore, but then God gets through to me with a song that reminds me that I am so much more than I think I am in Christ.

  153. Susan M. says:

    Renee, the part in your book, Uniquely You, made me realize the love God has for us~~~we are precious and honored in His sight and He loves us, we are Gods prized possession and a valued treasure of great worth~~~~~~~WE ARE BEAUTIFUL ~~~ as the song says, loved the song, to think that Jesus died so we could spend eternity with Him in heaven is something to just wrap your mind around and should bring joy to our hearts and bend our knees in honor to HIm. As to the comparison trap, I also get hooked into that one too, so when you mentioned to look at what you have and not at what you don’t have, and I think that thanking God for what you do have brings you closer to the One who cherishes you so much, and our thanks to HIm is music to HIs ears!

  154. Nancy Sternad says:

    I played the comparison game last night listening to moms at my daughter’s softball game. This one has her daughter on the swimteam, this one is sending her daughters to camp, this one seems to have her children disciplined well and then there’s me, thinking I do everything wrong. I should have had them in swim lessons constantly since they were little, they should listen better, I should be more organized, I should be able to “let them go more” and send them to camps to give myself a break. Not to mention the fact that I am out of shape, disorganized and always full of worry. Yes, anxiety rules my life. I realize I have been missing God and am being ruled by fear. Help!

  155. The statement about how when we compare ourselves to others we will never measure up because we are comparing our insides to their outsides rang so true for me. So often I am comparing myself to an idealized image that I see without noticing any of the other person’s challenges or imperfections. I want to learn to live a life free from comparison!

  156. The Confident Woman Bible study is confirming things God is speaking to me. I’ve been broken and abused, but that is not my future. I am God’s chosen treasure, He loves me, wants me and has a beautiful future planned for me. I can’t compare myself to someone else’s outside, I don’t know their inside. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalms 139:14. God designed me, formed me in my mother’s womb, He doesn’t make mistakes. I am a one of a kind original who can’t be compared to anyone else.

  157. Jenni Mac says:

    I love that song. I need to put that on repeat and listen to it again and again when I’m feeling like a hot mess failure of a woman, mom, wife…

  158. “Beautiful”, Renee these written words will forever be engraved in my heart: “(You are) God’s masterpiece. He has created (you) anew in Christ Jesus, so (you) can do the good things he planned for (you) long ago.” Eph. 2:10 You do things the way you do because it is part of your unique, God-shaped purpose. I too have compared myself to others, and when I do by asking why or what if, I feel insecure, confused and discontent just like you stated Renee. This has been part of my week, I found out that I have another adopted sister late one night after a ladies church function. During the next few days all I could hear and think about was how I had been robbed from growing up with my 2 sisters that had been placed for adoption. My thoughts where: why, what if, why now 8 years after finding out about the 1st sister, needless to say: satin had stepped in and I was focused on me. After a few days of much crying and praying, my thoughts turned to “Wow” I have a bigger family and I began to think about what my mom had endured all these years especially the pain. We have talked heart to heart and I now know that this too was all in Gods plan and His timing. As I told my mom, that I will love her and my sister forever, we are family no matter what, and it is not my place to hinder hard feelings or judgement. This situation of why or how come is between her and the Lord. Even though I did have questions she was truthful with me with her answers and for this I love her even more if that is possible. I also shared with her that this is a great testimony of how life is and how God works in our lives and in the end it is all for His purpose. I have peace not that I have looked at the situation in another light, and I pray that both my sisters will also open their hearts to the new journey in life that we all can become one family especially in the family of Christ, to include forgiveness and unconditional love. God Bless

  159. Shawna Salkil says:

    This chapter has been the one that has really hit home for me. I constantly compare myself to everyone and I never feel like I measure up. I beat myself up all the time. I suffered from clinical depression for years and even attempted suicide as an adolescent and spent time in serious therapy because of it. I still struggle with comparison and feeling inferior to everyone around me even though I’ve grown up in church and know I am created by God. I am really trying to take this chapter and this whole book to heart and make some major changes this time. This song has always spoken to me, but it does so even mroe now. Thank you for writing this book and doing this online Bible study. It has helped me more than you know.

  160. I would love to find out what my gifts are and more of how I can use them for the Kingdom of God. Right now I’m having a lot of depression and anxiety and having been participating or volunteering as I have previously. Thanks for all the Goodness you and Proverbs 31 do.

  161. Right now I am struggling if God really wants to use me as a women’s speaker for Him. Sometimes I feel that the answer is yes but then I feel that I am so far off the mark of where I shoud be.

  162. Debbie Walker says:

    I will be turning 60 years old in July. I have worked in banking for the last 20 years with my current employer. While I’m so thankful for my job, it does not fulfill me like it use to. I have become more involved in my church. I volunteer for more ways to help, but I still feel this restlessness. I tell my friends I have this restless spirit in me that I need to do something other than what I’m doing. I hate going to work each day. I have to push myself to go. I am not focused when I’m there. I think as if I’m wasting my time and I’m missing out on something else. I can retire, but I just keep holding off, but yet I’m so unhappy. I keep asking God to give me a sign of what I’m suppose to do with my life. I’m searching for something which will put my uncertainty to rest and help me find what God has put me here to do. I just feel I was meant to do more than I am, but what is it?
    Blessing to you and my other Sisters in Christ all around the world

  163. I have so often felt like I don’t have any talents and gifts, or much to offer. I have lived my life thinking that I have never really developed myself. I have taken the spiritual gifts test in the past and have come up with service as my number one gift. At the time I was kind of discouraged because I wanted something a little more than that. I do know that God knows what is ahead for me and that He may open opportunities up for me to do much more than service and I have also come to realize that service involves a lot of areas within the church. At our current church my biggest desire is to get better connected. My family is military and we move around a lot and we are currently in a church where everyone is related in one way or another and if they aren’t, they at least grew up with each other. I really love our church and I know God has my family there for a purpose. i have grown so much closer to God through this time and so has my husband and children. I am trying to step out in faith when God tells me to do something as opposed to stepping back in fear, especially in ways to get connected. Now what God has really been talking to me about during this study is that I need to complete my testimony and share it. I don’t do well putting thoughts to “paper” so please pray for me to be able to complete it 🙂 Thanks and have a blessed day!

  164. I need to have my husband look at these – I see several characteristics in each one that would describe me, yet some that are not me at all. Maybe it’s because of being older & God has softened my heart & the relational challenges aren’t that great – typically. Some insecurities came out this weekend as we spent time with the in-laws – maybe now’s the time to ponder the list again. I’m going to take the spiritual gift assessment as well. Thanks for challenging us to look at our “desires:.

  165. D'ana H. says:

    As I was driving to work this very morning, I was thanking Him for making me just the way I am….. I have a tendency to be a perfectionist and very hard on myself, comparing myself to others, wishing for or regretting this or that. Such a vicious trap the liar of all liars sets for us. Thank you for this beautiful reminder! And thank you God for putting on these women’s hearts the Truth!!

  166. I am praying that God will reveal “the desires of my heart”. I have never thought about my desires just trying to take care of others desires as any wife and mother would. Also thank you for the song this am.

  167. I’m just getting started in Chapter 8, but this book has been wonderful for me. I’m always trying to compare myself to others and still haven’t figured out what my dreams/desires are. When talking with my husband about this chapter, even he says that’s about where he is. So together we will walk through this chapter and see if we can truly feel what God has planned for us and our family. We’ve been so focused on what we “think” He wants for us but it’s either been within our comfort zone or that door closes on us. Thanks Renee for your book and your posts. Perfect timing for me!

  168. Lord, I thank you for journeying with us through our healing as we read this book together. Thank you for lifting us out of the pit and giving us a firm place to stand. Ma we be forever bold in proclaiming what you have done for us!

  169. Natasha says:

    I absolute love chapter 8! As I read through it carefully, God has opened my eyes to things I struggled to understand for so many years. My mind was clear and I could feel God’s whispers from the pages of this book. Wonderful! Last night I got my husband and my son involved in helping me figure out “who I am”. It was fun to hear their perspectives. They saw in me so much more than I allowed myself to see. I know “Wired that Way” would be a great resource to have to finally know who I am, know my strengths and weaknesses, know my emotional needs and kiss goodbye to constant burnout and insecurities!

  170. As I watched this video just now my thought turned to all the young girls and women that should really see this video and I began to try to figure out how it could be incorporated into some of the contact that I have with them through my life…and then I went…”wait, I NEED to listen to this video for ME!” I find myself at that time of my life where I’m thinking of all the things I have never succeeded at and looking ahead with fear and doubt of ever being able to do anything more then what I do now (and wondering if what I am doing now is even the right thing to be doing.)

    I’m going to take a second look at this video with the sole purpose (which to me seems abit selfish) being to hear what it is saying to me and not think of others at this moment but I really need to hear from God today that I am HIS and precious to him. That he has a plan for my life that everything that has taken place up to now has been training me for.

    I’ve just re-entered into our family owned business full-time and will be working with my husband. This has not proven to be easy in the past but I feel that God has always called me to support my husband in his efforts to provide for our family. Not sure if it’s right or not but In my heart I am looking at this as the final attempt for us to work in the business together and if it doesn’t work out this time then God will have the next step for me to take in the future outside of us working together.

  171. God is working inside me, and I’m struggling to hear what He has for me. Each day is a journey in Christ.

  172. Thank You Lord for Renee and this book. I am your Masterpiece and I know that you love me. I surrender my all to You and I want to use my gifts, which you blessed me with to help others. I have a physical disability which :satan always told me, I would not be able to help with anything”….But I know now that he is a liar!!!!!, I just say that everyday…The Holy Spirit has laid several things on my heart, and I can help!!!!!….in small things I can do to help in church, like bake for Sunday morning service….Listen to sisters who need to talk, I crochet, why not create beauty for others..Im excited!!!! God is good.

    It’s never to late to be the beautiful women God created us to be!!!!!!…..Sisters, there is no limit to what we can do…AMEN!!!!

  173. I Loved the video, I get so excited to share I forget some things I want to say….Thank you Renee for all you have shared……

  174. Michele says:

    That was the first time that I have heard that song and it is amazing. I have forwarded it to several of my friends, especially those that I know are going through a rough time. It certainly brought a smile to my face after an already long, rough morning.

  175. Tammy L says:

    So needed the reminder today. Trying to shake off the dust and “fail forward.” Thanks for the “beautiful” reminder, Renee and everyone.

  176. I wanted to share a “God-incidence” with you about the music video. I had told my study group last week, that I was making a playlist of songs that reinforced what I was learning in the study. One friend brought up the song “Beautiful” and suggested I add that to my playlist… now you featured it on your blog today! I think that is God’s way of telling me to get that song and use it in my quiet times 🙂
    Thank you for your wonderful study and I thank God for the way it is working in my life!

  177. I have compared myself to others my entire life! And have finally come to realize that I am who I am and I love it. My strengths have always been caring for children, I was a licensed in-home day care provider for 25 years, my husband was the one who opened my eyes and showed my the years of care I gave to others was indeed what the Lord gave me to be and to share, and in the last 4 years I have been blessed with two ‘beautiful’ grand-daughters whom I get to care for 2 days and over-night each week! God is good! I no longer compare me with others, I know we are all wonderful individuals who are different and need to be different to fit into His plans……


  1. […] Since God knows you, has a purpose for you and loves the way He made you, I’m confident He wants you to feel the same way. Watch, listen and let Him sing these truths over your heart today. {And if you’re reading this in email, click here to watch it online.} […]

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