Chosen {that’s what you are}

Chosen…I love that word.

I don’t know a heart that doesn’t long to be chosen.

Yet the disappointments of life and the deep pain of broken relationships can cause us to forget that we are – chosen, loved, and sought after.

“You are a chosen [woman], a royal priesthood, a holy [daughter], a [woman] belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of HIM who has called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9, NIV

Broken hearts and broken circumstances make us doubt we are valuable, that our future relationships can be healthy, or that anyone would ever want us.

Without even realizing it, we begin to see ourselves as disposable. Easily replaced. Not good enough.

As I shared in Chapter 6, this happened to me after my fiance broke our engagement  – twice.

I had always believed I would never be good enough and now I had proof.

But God… He used the rejection and pain to show me a deep place in my soul that would only be complete when I realized that in His eyes, I was just right. Forever loves and chosen.

“It wasn’t until He was all I had that I realized He was all I needed (really needed). Recovering from the heartbreak of being unwanted and rejected, I started to discover my identity and permanent value in who I was in Christ for the first time. The promise of God’s nearness and the fact that He chose me as His own was the only assurance I could hold on to.” (Chapter 6)

{I have a song I know without a doubt God wants you to hear!} Please take time to listen and let your heart respond to these truths. Let these words remind your heart that you are secure, significant and accepted. You are CHOSEN and your heart is spoken for.

Oh sweet friends, I pray you will let these words soak deep into your heart. Watch it again and again until your soul knows it’s true!!


Today’s Giveaway: Click here for my Chapter 6 – AM/FM Thoughts Download to print and post, and also share with a friend

Time to Connect: Ok, let’s all share our answer to #7 at end of Chapter 6, and then any others we feel comfortable sharing, too.

Click  “share your thoughts”  right below this post and do just that. {if you’re reading via email click here to return to my blog to watch the video and connect}

About Renee

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, story-teller, heart-encourager and grace-needer. She's also a wife, mom, friend, daughter and author of A Confident Heart, a Retailers Choice Award winning book that became a best-seller and has been published in six languages, with over 150,000 copies sold. Renee is speaks around the country at women's events and and serves on the writing team for DaySpring’s inCourage blog. For twenty years, Renee served in leadership at Proverbs 31 Ministries and as former co-host of the ministry's radio program, “Everyday Life with Lysa & Renee.


  1. Denisse says:

    I love this song! Its one of my many favorites from Mercy Me. Thank you for posting this and for the reminder that we are Chosen and Spoken for! Blessings and have a wonderful weekend all!

    • Denisse says:

      The feeling of rejection has been coming against me from family members, one to be more specific. But I think about the scripture that speaks on The cornerstone that the builders rejected. And I also remember that I am loved by God and if He is For Me than who can be against me!

  2. Jenny Mabe says:

    I absolutely love that song from Mercy Me. One of my favorites. AM thoughts I’m currently dealing with are not feeling good enough, not feeling loved or wanted by anyone. FM thoughts to replace those by are that I will rely on the truth that God is for me because he says I’m fearfully and wonderfully made; all of his works are wonderful and I am one of them. He loves me so much that he gave his only Son to live and die for me, and he chose me to be adopted into His family. This whole entire chapter was for me. I’ve always been told that I wasn’t good enough so this chapter ministered to me. I will do my best to work on this and change my eay of thinking. Please pray for me.

  3. Question #7 requires some raw honesty. My answer to the first part of the question: “I’m not qualified.” My answer to the second part (replacing the AM statement): God’s qualifications are the standard; not mine. He will equip me! Phil. 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Thanks, Renee!!

    • Thanks, Rachel ! I’ve been struggling with job changes at work and this morning when I started to feel like I can’t do some of this work, it popped into my head (thanks, Holy Spirit !) that where He has put me, He has equipped me; so I CAN do this work. My day went really well as a result (unlike some others lately!).

    • Amen – YOU are qualified to do what HE has and is calling you to.

      Sweet friends I want you to know this – I felt SO unqualified and ill-equipped to write my book. And look what Jesus is doing with what felt like almost impossible to me. PLEASE don’t’ let them enemy convince you otherwise. He is so threatened by God’s calling and purpose and glory over your lives!! Set your eyes on HIM – turn towards the LIght and walk in it – acting like it’s true no matter what your feelings are telling you!!

      • Thank you to both of you for you encouragment in regards to your job and how the Lord has led you to a certain calling. I have stared to teach kindergarten after 10 years this past year. I have felt not “good enough” in some people’s eyes and then anxious alot of times. Yet the Lord has reminded me to do everything unto Him and please Him. Also that He has equipped me as you have said. He know all things before time began so I guess( I know) He knew I was going to be teaching (kindergarten) again. I have really struggled with the feelings of not being good enough or futility of pleasing others. I have had other teachers encourage me through notes and words for which I am very thankful God has placed in my life. Also I read in a devotional how all that God has made He it is good ( Genesis 1 ) So God feels I am good in the sense of what he has planned for me to do in my vocation and relationships. I have told another teacher struggling with the same issues and she is excited to learn the bibical truths I have learned from this bible study..

        • Leslie A. says:

          I have taught K for 20 years and LOVE it. If I can be of any help please email me and I will be more than happy to do whatever I can for you to feel more comfortable or to encourage you, give you ideas or just listen. Leslie

      • Linda H says:

        THANK YOU!! I am hanging on to this,the statement about the enemy being threatened by Gods plan for me and mine especially hit me…soooo timely,you just dont know dear Renee

  4. I love Mercy Me & this is one of my favorites. For me, my AM thought is that my husband does not think I am good enough to be his wife. His infidelity crushed me. Knowing that he was ready to give up me & our 2 wonderful daughters for her destroyed my self-esteem. I feel like the only reason he asked me to come back was because she dumped him. There is little affection or intimacy in our marriage. I haven’t heard the words “I love you” from him in 3 yrs. It is hard. But I remind myself that God is in control, He has great plans for me & He is faithful to keep His promises. I am thankful we are still together & that God is still working on redeeming our marriage. My FM thought is that God chose me & His goodness makes me good enough. If God thinks I am worthy, who can tell me I’m not? Sorry this was so long & might be TMI

  5. This chapter, along with other things I am studying the past two weeks, is speaking to my heart in a deeply healing way.
    So much rejection in my life…the latest being of a daughter and a grand daughter we raised who have not spoken to us for many years….
    The other study called it “put on & put off”.
    Just now I opened the pdf that Renee gave us ( I had hand typed that for personal use) and The first “put off put on I did was the one that is first on Renee’s pdf.
    When doubt comes against me, saying I’m not good enough, I will focus on the truth that
    God is for me! He says I’m fearfully and wonderfully made; all of His works are wonderful and
    I am one of them (Ps. 139:14).
    I wrote in my journal, I put off “unwanted” and I take this on.
    And this one: When doubt comes against me, saying nobody loves me, I will cling to the truth that God is
    for me! He loves me so much that He gave His only Son to live and die for me, and He chose
    me to be adopted into His family. ( John 3:16, Eph. 1:4–5).
    I love how Abba is working so many threads together. That is no accident.

    • OH and I liked the AM FM concept so much, I had already shared it with a group of people. Love simply ways to remember to practice/live the Truth. Thank you Renee.

  6. Question #7 Two AM thoughts continually resonate with me, first I’m not good enough:
    replaced by FM thought I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are thy works and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14
    and second I’m not worthy of____
    so many things, respect, time, acts of kindness.
    FM thoughts:
    Walk worthy of God, who has called you unto his kingdom and glory 2 Thessalonians 2:12
    Walk worthy of the Lord please him in every way, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. Colossian 1:10
    When I feel unworthy I know that Jesus has been there, he was forsaken and esteemed not and yet he said in his dying breath “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
    I need to forgive and continue to walk worthy in the eyes of the Lord for he has called me to be a child of his kingdom and eternal glory and I am called into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9,

  7. Barbara Milburn aka Sunshine says:

    Thank you Renee……… this video is so awesome. This biblestudy has been such a help to me. Not only have I been able to share some things that I thought I’d never tell but by the grace of God I feel some wounds have been healed and my mind definitely renewed. My confidence levels are growing day by day and I know HE who started a great work in me will bring it thru to completion. I would love to be able to download this to my Ipod. Can any of the technology folk out there tell how to make that happen???

  8. I loved the song and i will be getting the CD!! To feel rejected by the ones you love and care about can seem to eat you alive. I have suffered rejection from loved ones and some that I have thought of as my closest friends! This has made me feel like I was not worth someone to love and care about me enough that I could have a close relationship with but a very few people in my life!! The more that I have been rejected, the lower my perception of myself has become. It is so true that you do not really turn to God and really realize that you are always wonderful in His eyes until He is all that you have. From now on when i get up in the mornings I am going to tell myself that I am a wonderful and loved child of God! Thank you for all of the wonderful things that you are teaching us about being a confident woman because I have never been confident!

    • Jan,
      I too have never had a sense of confidence. Several times when I came close, the enemy was quick to squall the feeling, and I would end up worse off than if I had just well enough alone! I am also very grateful for all He is teaching us!

  9. Thank you for boldly leading me Renee! I praise God for your book and for this study. I’ve heard that song so many times before but to hear it with the words is truly what I needed today. God does work through others and I thank Him for you!

    • I feel the same way about the song. I have always enjoyed it, but today it was more meanful than ever. Thanks for sharing: )

  10. Beautiful, I love that song. Take this world from me, I don’t need it anymore, I am finally free, my heart is spoken for. And I know I am covered by His blood. Let the church say Amen, again let the church say Amen..

  11. When I first did Chapter 6 – I didn’t have a job. So, my AM was “I don’t have the right skills to do this job or that job”. Then the FM was: “I am good enough for these jobs, after all, God has given me the Spirit of guidance and power. He will guide me to the right job!

    HE did, I am not working and I am even going in tomorrow (Sat.) for overtime. I still have some to learn there, but I don’t feel the anxiety that I would have had if it wasn’t for God’s Word and people like you to remind “me” that I have what I need. I need to remind myself daily!

    I love that Mercy Me song too – I have played it over and over when I fist bought it. I “pinned” it so others can listen to it too. Thank you.

  12. AM thought: My mistakes as a mother have caused my children pain and made my oldest an alcoholic.
    Overwhelming guilt. I love them so much.
    FM thought: Romans 8:28 Another thing, I am thankful that I can pray and ask God to make up for the places where I failed.

    AM thought: I am struggling with resentful feelings towards my Pastor and the church (small c) and feel like I don’t fit in there or anywhere really.
    FM thought: 1Peter 2:9 I an forgive, but I can’t get over some things and will continue to pray and trust God to show me where I fit into the Body.
    Practice as often as neg thoughts happen:
    2Cor 10:5b … we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

  13. Esther Smith says:

    I’ve heard this song over and over, but after this study it has taken on a new meaning for me. I don’t need anyone else to be my fill up anymore, the Lord is the one who does that now for me. I of course need the love of others in my life, but I bring my needs first to the Lord. Once I am filled up by the Lord, I can more fully enjoy the love of others in my life, as I don’t attach things to it, and I don’t weigh others down with my expectations. I know that was hurting my marriage, my friendships, and my relationships with members of my family. Thank you for posting this video Renee!

  14. Jeannie says:

    That I can’t do a job good enough and the feeling of disapproval by my earthly father.
    These were replaced by knowing that God loves me as I am and he will equip me with whatever I need to get a job done. I am accepted and approved of by God.
    The song is wonderful, I have listened to it several times and will listen to it several more.

  15. I have been waiting for this opportunity to share what stood out to me in Ch 6!
    When Renee shares how she would roll out of bed, onto her knees asking God to give her the strength to get through the rejection…that really hit me. Reason being, I have spent most of my time on my feet, fist raised at the sky, asking God, Why?. If you are so big and powerful, why didn’t you keep (many situations) from happening to me? When I was a child and helpless…why didn’t you protect me? Etc.
    Renee’s story reminded of a recent revelation that I never ask God to help me through the hard stuff. I never ask to have peace or to have joy despite the disappointments. That Renee would drop to her knees and basically…lay her head on her Father’s knee in the midst of deep pain…..powerful!!
    The other thing that stood out to me…God making it a point that it was not He who put the shame on Adam & Eve. He doesn’t place shame, guilt, condemnation, unworthiness or any other negative emotion on us. I love that He wanted them to recognize the source of their situation.
    I am loving the way He is speaking to me through this study. I’m gonna have to do and redo this!!. I can sense many different ways He will use this study to bring healing to my soul and most especially bring me a new perspective of Him! I am so focused on the revelations, I can’t focus on the questions! lol! (I like this God I am learning about much better than what I had perceived Him to be .)

  16. Donna from Honolulu, Hawaii says:

    Oh My question 7… was tough…and to share is tougher… but this is how I answered:
    AM: I don’t feel pretty enough-you will never fit in.
    FM: “I am his masterpiece created to be new in Christ so I can do good things. ( Eph.2:10)

    AM: I am not smart enough and will never get it right.
    FM: God is for me I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)

    it’s so crazy how I constantly put myself down & beat myself up…. Yucky- feeling! but I tell myself to stop- Look to God- draw near to Him- let Him into your heart…LET HIM IN…and find peace.

    Thank you for that video by Mercy Me…. beautifully put 🙂

    Aloha from Hawaii xoxoxoxoxox

  17. Sheree Poole says:

    I love your book “A Confident Heart” because that is what I lack, confidence. Even though I have been successful in life despite all the tragedies I’ve had to deal with, rejection and divorce that hit me like a ton of bricks, helping my daughter cope with the pain of divorce in her life…(and we are all past that now with the grace of God’s help), but I keep living in the past and Satan keeps bringing up my failures of my marriage and all the “what ifs” and I do not feel confident to handle future relationships so I avoid them at all cost. Somedays I do not want to get out of bed and face another day, but I know I have to. That’s where I am right now in the AM thoughts against me. But the FM side of this is God’s Word keeps me keeping on….without a fresh Word from Him each morning, I will end up in tears before my day even begins. So I know how important it is for me to hear from Him. Take this morning for instance, my daily devotion comes from Psalm 118:24, “This is the day which the Lord has made, Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” It’s amazing, because this is the verse that gets me out of bed each morning…I have found myself meditating on it each morning, even when I’m not fully conscious of it, or even think about it, it pops in my head. That only comes from God!! I love what it says in my devotion for this day, June 2, 2012…the title is “Maximize this Day” and comes from “The Word for you Today” which I get each quarter from my Church, Trinity Baptist Church,….and it is so good that I just have to share the entire devotion so here it is:

    God determines the number of your days, but you determine how they are spent. The Psalmist said, “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, today is all you’ve got. And you can begin your life over today, if you live by these words: “Today I will delete from my diary two days—yesterday and tomorrow. Yesterday was for learning; tomorrow will be a consequence of what I do today. Today I will face life with the conviction that this day will never return, that it may be the last opportunity I’ll have to contribute because there’s no guarantee I’ll see tomorrow. Today I will be courageous enough not to let opportunity pass me by; my only alternative will be to succeed. Today I will invest my most valuable resource, my time, into my most important resource, the life God has given me. I’ll spend each minute purposefully, making today a unique opportunity. I’ll tackle each obstacle knowing that with God’s help I can overcome it. Today I will resist doubt and pessimism and warm my world with a smile. I’ll maintain a strong faith, expect nothing but the best, take time to be happy, see every task as an opportunity to honor the Lord, and endeavor to leave His footprints on the hearts of those I meet.” John Boykin wrote, “Time is your life–nothing more, nothing less. The way you spend your hours and your days, is the way you spend your life.” So pray, “Lord, help me to maximize this day.”

    I have to pray for a confident heart each morning to face another day. And God’s Word is the fuel I need to keep on, keeping on……with all that said, Samantha (my Doberman) and I are off for our Saturday morning river walk and along the way, we will be praising God for this day. God bless you all 🙂

    • Susan Hutch says:

      Oh Sheree–thank you for that wonderful devotional–I never thought about yesterday and today
      being that way!! I will from now on thanks to you. You are an insprirational woman. Thanks again!!

  18. I find myself really struggling with thoughts of being a failure…primarily as a wife. I constantly allow myself to believe Ive let my husband down. So many old wounds in our relationship are resurfacing. Some of that is from working on the timeline. I feel as though God is directing me to process my emotions…emotions that I never truly allowed myself to feel. I know it’s a process and I need to keep trusting Him. I love what Donna said…”Let Him in.”.

    Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

    I’m afraid of losing that Hope and know I need to keep seeking Him in every part of my life.

  19. When I think of Am (Against me ) I think of am radio where it is all talk and usually in a language you cant understand. For me it was Spanish stations. So you turn to the Fm where you can understand the music and conversations. But if you listen to the Am stations you eventually pick up on a few words here and there. And find yourself listening to and for those words. Just an interesting thought I had.

    My Current is Am thought is I’ll never finish school this time either. Because I have quit before who’s to say I wont quit again? The FM thoughts I will replace them with ( and I have personalized them) are these scriptures.

    Phil 4:13 TLB Debi you can do everything God has called you to do with the help of Christ who gives you strength and power.

    2 Tim1:7 KJV/ Niv God did not give you a Spirit of fear Debi, but of power and of love and of sound mind / self discipline. ( and self discipline is something I need to ask for God’s help with. )

    Luke 1:37 NIV/ TLB For nothing is impossible with God Debi

    Debi, For every promise from God shall truly come true!

    And last but not lease

    Mark 10:27 Amp/ TLB Jesus glanced at them ” with men ( or women) it is impossible but not with god – for all things are possible with God Debi

    Jesus looked at them intently then said: ” Debi without God it is utterly impossible But with God everything is possible.”

    Can you just imagine Jesus looking at you and saying that. Wow heart piercing …

  20. Linda Knight says:

    Thank you for sharing this song. It speaks of what I know, but often forget. It’s not the love from the world I want and need….it’s the love from God. God’s love fills my needs and my broken heart.

  21. AM-Rejected again, not good enough, not enough, don’t have what it takes- what you are looking for, can’t be me -have to be what you want me to be. FM- rejected by the world but never by God
    “You are a chosen [woman], a royal priesthood, a holy [daughter], a [woman] belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of HIM who has called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9, NIV. But even before I was born, God chose me and called me by His marvelous grace…Galatians 1:15
    To know, to really know God choose me, knew me, formed me wonderfully is suffiecent to overcome the world’s view of me- it will never measure up to God’s view and I choose to live in God’s view. Glory and praise to my God. Thanks for sharing the song it was wonderful- I also discivered Word of God Speak- I need that one right now alos. Be Blessed.

  22. Esther Smith says:

    I just finally finished this weeks chapter, so I thought I would do as Renee requested, and share my answer to question number seven:

    7) One Am (Against Me) thought I am struggling with right now is, “I am ugly”. I had to have much of my hair cut off due to a horrible haircut that needed to be seriously corrected. The style, and the cut don’t feel like me. I feel very uncomfortable in my own skin, ugly and so “boyish”. Despite all my styling efforts I don’t like it. I know it is vein, and my hair will grow, but even as short as, and with all of the corrections made, the mistakes are sill visible and will also have to be worked on as the hair grows :(. All of this has really hurt my already poor self-esteem.

    The FM thought I will replace this thought with is, “He says I’m fearfully and wonderfully made; all of His works are wonderful and I am one of them (Ps. 139.14).

    I sooooo want to believe that, no just in my head, but in my heart, and defeat the enemy telling me how ugly I am! I am REALLY going to work on this, but I know it will be a huge struggle, as I have always had poor self-esteem, so I have never felt, “good enough”. With God’s help though I will break through this vision the enemy wants me to keep of myself, to the vision He has of me!

    • I enjoy your words of encouragement and hearing other women share their deep honest thoughts. I was touched by Esther S. note. “I am ugly”. I am not sure how old you are, yet i too have “listened” to that lie of the enemy for a long time. To know and not just words, we are fearfully and wonderfully made; is sooo true. It took me a while to know how special i am in His eyes. To know we are His Daughter’s and to see Him as my Father….took me a long time. I never had a loving father only a abusive one. And only can My God show me how i am special , i am loved, I am all what He has “chosen” me to be. Why, Because of His Son, His son who gave His life up for you. This is exciting to know, God says that He sits in heaven laughing at His enemy because He knows his day is coming. He tells us, “At destruction and famine thou shalt laugh (Job 5:22). God will meet you when you rejoice. God will get in the boat with you. He will meet you in your problems, in your adversities, in your afflictions, in your troubles. If you will rejoice, God promised to meet you: and when God comes on the scene, what happens to problems? They depart! Oh, excuse me i got off track here. I want to encourage you, you are Not,,,,,ugly…That is a Lie and down right lie from the enemy. God loves you and you are beautiful even with your hair. Think of all those women out there who have cancer. Who can’t grown their hair. 🙂 They are Loved….Why,,,Because He Has Chosen You,,,Esther. 🙂

      • Esther Smith says:

        Thank you so much for your encouragement Noreen! I am 42, old enough to have overcome this insecurity, but yet now I know why despite my best efforts I never did. I never believed God’s promises, that’s why. In the area of what God thought about my looks I figured God saw my thoughts about my looks as sin, vanity, and worldly. So I really never looked up how God felt about me in the Bible. I had heard the verse about being wonderfully and fearfully made, but I thought that pertained to babies in the womb, not me. So, I because I never went to the only one who could help me to overcome what the enemy, and others in my life, had told me about my looks. I just continued to go through life never being happy with my looks, and always compairing myself to others. No more though! I am going to work on this daily! I will give God this victory, and not let the enemy win anymore!

        My dad died of cancer, and he really loved his hair. It was even a running joke in our family :). I felt so bad the day he shaved it before his radiation and chemo started. But he said he wanted to be the one to let his hair go, and not have it fall out. He was thrilled with the look of his new very short cut. He had not had short hair since his military service, and I just think it was his youthful rebellion that made him not want to lose his hair back then. Sadly we lost him only three months later (It’s been years, but I miss him still), but I thought he looked so handsome in the picture he showed me of his new short hair cut with his big smile. My step-dad too lost his hair to Cancer too, but I never thought much about it. And because of all of the scars from the multiple operations (he had brain cancer) he had, his hair wouldn’t grow back in particular areas. Both of these beloved family members never lost their beauty though because I loved them so much. I could never think of them as “ugly” with how much I loved them. I think that is how God sees us. His love would never allow Him to see us as ugly, your right (and thanks for saying I’m not ugly too, very kind of you :). So you mentioning women who have lost their hair to Cancer was something that really drove the point home for me. Thank you for reminding me of the love God has for us no matter what. Also, to me those who have lost their hair due to cancer are even more beautiful. They are fighting a battle I have seen my loved ones fight, and I admire them a great deal. Their hair loss to me is a badge of honor.

  23. Love that song and video.

  24. This is kind of not related specifically to the Bible study but something that I wanted to share. My husband and I were out washing cars today and we were approached by someone supporting a local political candidate. I was skeptical but he was not threatening in appearance at all. He was small in stature and looked as if he could use a hand financially. He began asking us about our Christianity since this particular candidate that he is supporting is a Christian. He told us that he had been homeless and that God had restored him, given him a job and a family. He told us that he drives 40 miles to church and that he sings in the choir. He then broke into song, “,Blessed Assurance Jesus is Mine, Oh what a foretaste of Glory Divine”. I was pretty shocked but as he kept going it was so pleasing to hear and my husband and I kind of started singing along. I gave him some water and he went on his way. My husband and I didn’t discuss it afterwards. I think that it was something that we both had to process. I know for me I was so taken back by the fact that he had no shame about singing his hymn. No shame in professing his faith. No worries about what we thought. I felt ashamed though because it made me see that I would be to ashamed to do anything like that. I really have trouble even talking about the Lord and how He has changed my life. The verse about God not looking at the outward appearance like men (women) He looks at the heart. That verse has been standing out to me lately. This sweet man, taking his Saturday to campaign for his Christian brother sure made a big impact on me. I would like to be more like him.

    • Hi Nancy. I have been thinking about what my AM/FM statement is and your words express exactly how I feel…”I really have trouble even talking about the Lord…” The shame I feel from not sharing the Lord with others and keeping His goodness to myself has been overwhelming. The fear that comes when I know the Lord wants me to do something and the disobedience that happens more often than not sends me into another self-bashing of “you will never change”, etc. The last time this happened I was so overcome with grief that I had messed up again and worried about what someone else thought of me instead of what my Abba Father thought of me. It was more than I could bare and my voice was lost yet again in shame in my prayer time, being in the Word and quiet time with the Lord. I’ve gotten back up, dusted off again and know focusing on worry more about what God thinks than man. My FM verse is I have been given a spirit of power, love and a sound mind (self control). Thank you Lord because anything else is not from you!

  25. As I read chapter 6, I feel that the doubts I have are not that I am inferior or capable to meet the challenges I am facing, but that I don’t know how to make the difference that is needed in the lives of those who are dear to me and need help. I am thankful that God has provided in so many ways for my husband and I to be able to help with the circumstances our family is facing. We have been blessed with the means to overcome many obstacles during the past year in trying to provide a new start for my daughter and grandchildren. However, the scared, emotional attitudes have caused frequent, unacceptable behaviors that we have not been able to find ways to discourage. Thus, it leaves me feeling very frustrated, depressed, and inadequate. I am constantly reminded that God is in control…and I certainly am not! Even so, I will continue to try to find positive ways to deal with things at home that are way out of my control, and am grateful for God’s love and the small reminders that He provides throughout the day. Thank you so much for this study as it has given me hope and reminded me of God’s promises.

  26. This is one of my favourite songs from Mercy Me.

    Question #7 – the AM thought that I’m struggling with is that I’m not good enough. I’ve been through a lot in my life with abuse and alcoholism, and have forever doubted I’d be good enough for anything. Failures in jobs and business only bolstered this. I am now working on recovery from the abuse I suffered as a child and I’m am today (one day at a time) claiming God’s promises for me.

    Thank you Renee, for this book, it came to me just at the right time!! God’s Timing! It’s wonderful!!!!!

  27. When my mind says “I am so tired of __________, and I can’t do this anymore,” I will bow before the Lord and boldly proclaim the promise of Isaiah 40:31—“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew the strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”

  28. christine lowe says:

    I grew up with feeling not quite Good enough, as if there was something “wrong” with me. A parochial school gave me a stong sense of guilt and a fear of authority. I was the only child in my school whose parents were divorced so I felt different and I couldn’t tell my mom how I felt because she took innocent commrnts as critisism. She would withdrawand and that scared me cause the only other person of authority in my life was my grandmother. She was hypercritical,controlling and scary when she got angry. It was only later in life that I understood she was an alcoholic. That was the secret that no one talked about.

    This morning I really got how strong I am. My husband is away for a few days so I’m on my own. I broke up a fight between two of my dogs by myself. Big deal you might say but the two combatants were a170 pound mastiff and a 100 pound doberman. It was not only physical strength but the knowledge that the only way they were going to stop was through my intervention. God showed me that He is strong when I am weak. The was no other explanation for me being able to pry one dog’smouth open and separate them before they hurt each other. I learned today that I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. So glad I was doing this bible study and writing down all the scriptures that tell me I have been given a spirit of power and a sound mind that allows me to do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thank you Jesus for being there when I call on You.

  29. Karen in Canada says:

    Thank you wonderful sisters in Christ for sharing your hearts and lives with me, it really does encourage me!!
    My heart is heavy this morning and I’m not sure if I should even attempt to share. I had a stretch of really good days and then all of a sudden I have a day like today when I feel overwhelmed and paralized.
    Sitting here this morning watching humming birds feed themselves in our feeders, seeing our gardens start to grow, surrounded by the love of my two beautiful toddlers ; I sitll struggle with ‘KNOWING’ that God is For Me and Not Against Me”. Romans 8:31 ” If God is for us (me), who can be against us (me)
    I just read Luke 12:22-34, trying to get out of this funk of feeling full of doubt, fear and insignificance.
    My AM thoughts today and most days are “I am not good enough and don’t deserve what I have, I am not smart enough and good enough, that also proves why my husband doesn’t love me.. I am not as smart as him and good enough for him”
    My PM should be { ‘I’ am God’s masterpiece, He has created ‘me ‘anew in Christ Jesus } along with {I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me} Eph 2:10 and Phil 4:13

    I do know God has started a good work in me and will complete it!! Some days are just tougher than otheres. Thank you Renee for following your heart and sharing your gifts with us:)

    • Bonani( South Africa) says:

      Thank you for sharing as sometimes i feel like to you but God id is for me who can be against us. Amen sister

    • Praying for you both. I know the doubts and the “blahs” that can plague a heart like ours. But I also know our beautiful Savior calls you ‘beautiful” He calls you HIS!! The world is full of hurts, insults, reject and pain but God chooses also to bless us with His good gifts in the midst of it all – yet sometimes our brokenness keeps us from receiving it. I pray that today you can list out all the things you’ve wanted that HE did give – the blessings you have and thank HIM – so that in seeing and thanking you will recognize His love for you. His bounty of goodness lavished because You are His. Not because you are good enough or deserving but simply because you are His and He loves to love on you!!

      • karen in Canada says:

        hi Renee,
        Thanks for your prayers and for your words of encouragement. Not sure if you’ll read this reply, but I did want to say that it means a lot that you take time to read all our post/discussions and respond. This study and on-line dialogue is really encouraging.
        I re-read Chapter 6 after reading Chapter 7 last night and what you wrote really made me see how I was being attacked by the enemy with fear, insecurity and doubt on Sunday. Thank you for reminding me that God Is In Control!
        He has blessed me immensely despite my circumstances today, but I AM NOT MY CIRCUMSTANCES I AM CHOSEN, HOLY AND DEARLY LOVED (colossians 3:12, p 107), no matter how I feel!!

        I have read through the Bondage Breaker about 8 years ago, the Battlefield of the Mind last year, and The Bait of Satan by John Bevere at the beginning of this calendar year and your book and this community is really bringing everything I’ve learned together… obviously I’m a slow learner 🙂
        Thanks for making this TRUTH real for me and all the other lovely ladies working through your book.
        Again I really appreciate your prayers, comments and encouragement Renee
        Bless you

  30. Gail N. says:

    Another song by Mercy Me called “Beautiful”, also speaks to what we are studying and many of us dealing with on a daily basis…including me.

    “Days will come when you don’t have the strength
    When all you hear is you’re not worth anything
    Wondering if you ever could be loved
    And if they truly saw your heart
    They’d see too much

    You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful
    You are made for so much more than all of this
    You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful
    You are TREASURED, you are SACRED, you are HIS
    You’re beautiful…”

    • I LOVE THAT SONG!! Love it so much!!

    • I love this web site. I am so thankful God “Chose” for me one day, just glancing over the internet I came across your Blog. I love this exciting to hear women all over the world share about God, and true feelings. Women like me! Sometimes we go to church and believe we have to be a certain way. Just go because we love God, and i don’t have to be a certain way with Him. Just be real, down to earth worshiping Him. Just being free to express. You are all down to earth women just sharing your hearts, thoughts, deepest passion< Jesus! God Bless you Renee for your faithfulness in hearing His voice and taking the time for us. I am going to go out and get this book, Oh,,,,is it at a Christian book store? Going out now……i will return and join all of my sisters. This is just wonderful, God is soooo good. I live in a little town, so to have internet is a wonderful thing. 🙂

  31. Loretta Pearson says:

    Love the music/song. My answer to #7 was: Not interesting enough as a speaker, not physicially attractive enough, but my answer comes from the truth of God’s word.

  32. Susan M. says:

    Sometimes I think the thoughts against ourselves come from what society says we should be. Renee, you mentioned in your book your fiance said your body image was not what he liked and I also had someone say that they liked me except my thighs were too big~~~~I was wrecked for life after finding that out ~~~ ~~~~also my grandmother said not to sing at Christmas time, I was off key and she also said I needed to loose weight. And then there was a time before I was getting married and I just wanted to loose a little weight because of my grandmothers comments and so I go to weight watchers and they tell me I don’t have enough to loose by there chart~~~go figure!!! I am of Polish heritage and built that way, I will never no matter how much weight I loose, have thin thighs , it is my build and that is the way it is. But every time I look at my husband, I know God had him waiting in the sidelines for me and he loves me no matter how my thighs look and he loves me for who and what I am. In the same way I need to reming myself that God does not look at my outside, He looks at my heart and every day I need to go over that in my head. My husband I were planting flowers today and I have a bad back so he did most of it and I wanted to do it so much, I love to plant the flowers and he was knocking off the blooms every time he covered them up and I was so irritated I was going to yell at him and then I remembered your sign behind you in your video about GRACE~~~~~so it reminded me, God grants us GRACE every time we screw up so I need to stand down and grant him GRACE about knocking off my blooms~~~~~I can be so critical and controlling sometimes that when the Holy Spirit convicts me I really need to listen and calm down a bit. Also some other AM things are the things I dredge up from my past that I need to forget but they pop up sometimes and I need to say STOP those are in the past they are forgiven and move on.

  33. I listen to the Christian Radio station daily, but I find that after doing a chapter study with “A Confident Heart” I see, hear and understand the words in each song a different way, just as God would have it. Take this world from me, I don’t need it anymore, I am finally free, my heart is spoken for And I know I am covered by His blood. for I am a child of the risen Lord, these words speak to my heart and my soul, I must keep this close to remind myself in doubting times, but all I really need is God’s love to fill my needs, to give strength and to walk with me daily. For Question #7, my AM doubts or thoughts against me are, I can’t figure things out, God says: I will direct your steps. His promise to me is:Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6, with dealing with my husbands work injury and workman’s comp, everyday I just seem lost not being able to figure out why it is taking so long to decide if the developments are related to the break at work, and how they can just continue to send us to doctor to doctor after 2 different doctor have confirmed in their opinion it is related to the break and that he need a partial amputation in regards to his foot. For PM: mine is “I am so tired.”God says: I’ll give you rest. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened , I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28. Others for me during the day at any time: is part of the past, and Life is full of problems. God says: I am working for your good. His promise for me: And we ( I) know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. Romans 8: 28 I have learned so much about myself and God words with doing this bible study.I continue to pray the God continue to work in my life so that I may continue to strengthen my relationship with Him and to share my testimony with my loved ones and friends. God Bless each of my sisters in Christ… with love.

  34. Laurie M says:

    My favorite line is covered by your love divine….to hear you say this one’s mine. What sweet, sweet words to know my Abba, Father loves me so much and that no matter what I am spoken for! To be rejected in a physical and emotional way in my previous marriage for 9 years I cling to these words that through that time I was chosen and spoken for no matter what was going on in my home. I rejoice that God brought a godly man into my life that I know that my husband has chosen me for me and he truely seeks God’s guidance everyday as a man, husband and father. But even when my husband, family and friends let me down , my Abba, Father is always here for me covering me with His love divine!

  35. Karen in PA says:

    I have spent a lifetime living in doubt and insecurity. I have been able to keep it covered somewhat, as Renee talks about, to look successful to the outside world, when inside I have always felt inadequate, not worth anything good. I became a Christian a little over a year ago and have overcome some of this through God’s love, prayer, my church women’s group and scripture study. I will never forget crying, sobbing, to the Godly man I am currently dating, telling him he is too nice to me, that I don’t deserve anything good. That was a year and a half ago. However I know different now. God promises me that I am chosen, He is for me. This last week my struggle with AM thoughts has been “Don’t get my hopes up, I will just be disappointed because things never work out for me” I had a job interview last Thursday and I am hopeful to hear something positive soon. My FM thoughts however are “God has plans for me! Good Plans!” I truely believe that if God wants me to be in the new position, it will happen. If not, He has bigger and better plans for me. God is so good. Overcoming a lifetime of poor self esteem doesn’t happen overnight. But with God’s Grace and love I am getting there.

  36. Jacqueline, Washington DC says:

    I had a really rough day today, but I am learning that God is faithful and ever present. I just need to share. I am a part-time employee at a nonprofit. My employer cut my hours a year ago. It’s been difficult finding full-time work. Anyway, when I arrived at work this morning there is an office envelope taped to my computer monitor. I opened the envelope and pulled out a letter that started ‘Dear Jacqueline.’ It was a letter informing me that my last day of employment is next week! I was astonished and stunned. I work in accounting and knew that they had just given 6% salary increases to my full-time co-workers and an $8,000 bonus to my manager, the CFO. I work 16 hours a week and couldn’t understand how my salary could possibly “help keep the nonprofit afloat during this time of declining revenues.” But what was so devasting was that no one thought I was worth the effort to tell me face-to-face or at least personally hand me the letter. Doubts and fears came over me like an avalanche. In particular, the one where I am not worthy…worth the effort, worth the time, etc. It was hurtful and I felt disrespected. I learned that our CFO taped the letter to my monitor on Friday and warned the staff not to tell me. I am devasted to not only lose my job, but to be told in that manner … a letter taped to my computer monitor.

    The metro ride home was difficult. I finally broke out in tears. Luckily the train car was fairly empty. I felt small and alone. I am behind in my reading of chapter 6 and started reading hoping to stop crying. Where was I in the book? On page 111, Beat Up or Built Up? In the right place at the right time because I am beat up by discouragement. All I could hear in my mind was a voice asking what am I going to do? How am I going to replace the income? Although not much it is money coming into the household. Renee’s words lifted me and I felt comforted by the Lord as I read them. She was sharing Tyila Paris’ song. “She told me this was not a time for fear, but a time for faith and determination. She told me not to lose my vision or be carried away by my emotions, but to hold on to all that I had hidden in my heart and all that I believed to be true.” God is in control! In my hurt, I had forgotten. Renee is right. “You and I have the choiceto either let doubt beat us up or let God’s truth build us up. If we have Christ in us, we have full access to God’s power and His promises to live with a confident heart.”

    Pray for me that I can stand firm against all doubt and hold onto His promise. Pray that I have I am able to be forgiving to those who caused the hurt and that God gives me a vision of where he is leading me so that I can hold onto hope. I am grateful for this study and for all of us who share, read and pray for one another. God’s blessings.

    • Jacqueline, i am going through struggles too although of a different nature. I will pray for you and your situation.

    • Dear Jacqueline, there is so much one could say regarding this kind of poor professional behavior, BUT bottom line is: you just have to give this over to the Lord and forgive them, move forward and focus on our Lord. Hurt, bitterness, anger and all those negative emotions get roots deep inside us and affect our health (i’ve been there) if we don’t forgive, forgive, forgive so we can have peace within us.

      ‘You are significant’ (see page 108 in ACH). Renee has lovingly given us scriptures to hang on to. ‘You are His Masterpiece’ and God does have a Plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11-13). We are His children and He loves us. Never, never give up on Hope. I am excited to know what He has planned for you as that door was shut so tight.

      It’s wonderful the prayers that are lifted up to the Lord for all,,, through the comments or silently as we read each other’s stories.

      Thank you Renee for giving women everywhere this place to come to for warmth, caring, loving, helping, prayers, sharing God’s love and scriptures, sharing hurts, pain, and receiving hope.

      • Jacqueline, Washington DC says:

        Dear Lois. Thanks you so much for your kind words and your encouragement to forgive. Thank you so much for reminding me that I an significant and that God does have a plan for me. I felt love from the warm and caring tone and your words of encouragement are helping me to build my reseolve to never give up on hope. Thank you.

  37. A.Renee says:

    AM – When I make a mistake, yell at my kids, lose it or even lose my keys “What’s wrong with me?” FM thought to replace it with: “Everyone needs grace, and God gives it freely. Repent if need be and rejoice in God’s grace – grace to make good even when mistakes are made and the grace He forgives with – bask in his grace.”

    AM – “I can’t do this” FM – I don’t have to do anything. God does it all. God does it all. With Him I can get through each day, one at a time.”

    Thank you. MY HEART IS SPOKEN FOR!!! What else matters? 🙂

  38. Hello Renee, I’m back i ran out to get…..the last one the shelf, “A Confident Heart”. Since I found your web site, which i believe the spirit helped me. Now i can sit down read and be apart of this wonderful internet web site. It is a study group for me. I can’t see anyone, yet i know you are there. Just like our Father! Can’t wait to read. I will come back and let you know.

  39. I’m a little behind and just finished reading chapter 6, but I must say the reading of this chapter came at the right time. I’ve worn out another highlighter because there were so many things that spoke to my heart and soul that have encouraged me and that I can’t wait to share with others. I will be reading this chapter again tonight to my family!!!

    One of my favorite quotes from this chapter: “It wasn’t until God was all I had that I realized he was all I needed”. So true. 🙂

  40. Renee Love the song! I’m spoken for! I love mercy me! I only know their one song I can only imagine played on the radio! I love this song spoken for! I really listened to the works, all through the song, it was repeated my heart is spoken for! we have an enemy who love to steal our joy and uses outher people to do it. and that’s what’s going on in my life, a lot of my loved ones boyfriend, family members are pretty negative! and they try their best to make me miserable like them! It’s like they can’t understand why I’m so joyful. I am totally blind as I’ve said before, and the tone of voice people use means a lot to us! iall the comments are so encourageing and we can really learn from each other, and I hear God speak to my heart as I’m reading comments. I’m sure a lot of you know Joyce Myers know of Joyce Myers. I just love her! I listen to her every morning on tV to start my day thenk, I read my devotionsals and have my quiet time with God. Joyce Myer’s messages this week are on enjoying every day life that’s what her TV program is about. Today, she was telling us about how to think on purpose, and telling us if we think we are going to think sad negative bitter thoughts, then, that’s what we are going to do. she quoted John 1010 the thier steals and destroys. she has a new name for Satan joy theif! I love it! joy theif! the next time, I have thoughts I know I don’t want to have, i’m going to say out loud Joy theif! joy theif! also, Joyce said today, before the enemy has a chance to give us negative thoughts, we are to talk to ourselves, and say nice things about ourselves! Oh, she is so encourageing! I love her! I thank god every day for her, and thank him for helping her help people! Renee, I want to say, you are such an encouragement! I’ve never taken a study like this! Your words are encourageing! It’s so cool! how we all share stuff! with each other! Renee, I musut tell you, I heard you the other day on 100 huntley street! It was so good to hear you! one hundred Huntley street is such an inspirational program for me! that’s it for now talk to you all soon! I enjoy reading all your comments! It’s so cool how we encourage each other!

  41. In my head i know i am chosen and i am His. I still feel like something is missing, that i am alone. I know i belong to Him but i just don’t feel His power in my life. Something is missing. I just don’t know. I just wish God was here, that i could just crawl up in His lap and stay there for a long time but there’s nothing. I go to church regualarly, read my bible attend bible studies plus i’m doing this one yet…there is nothing. I know i have a wall, i don’t know how to dig inside myself and even know what i’m thinking. I have a friend that used to ask me on a regular basis, “What are your thoughts, feelings, needs and convictions of a woman today?” and i would get furious with him and impatiently tell him I DON’T KNOW, I HAVEN’T GOT A CLUE!
    He finally backed off and quit asking but i think now that i really didn’t know then and i still don’t know now. I do know however that something just isn’t right and i don’t know how or if i even want to find out what. I just don’t feel like i belong anywhere and that just doesn’t do a thing for my confidence. I’ve never shared these feeling with anyone before except to one person in a fairly recent email. I write songs and poetry about the Lord and His goodness but it’s only a surface thing, like it’s only skin deep. So i just keep muddling through life. I will never be a super Christian but i would like to at least be a good average one.

  42. When doubt comes against me, saying I shouldn’t get my hopes up because I’ll only be disappointed, I will depend on the truth that God is for me! He has plans for my life that are filled with purpose & hope. And when doubt comes against me, saying I can’t do something because it’s too hard, I will cling to the truth that God is for me! He says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

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