Telling Ourselves the Truth (+ 2 Give-Aways)

Welcome to my eastern NC HIS Radio friends stopping by after hearing me talk with Briney this afternoon during “drive-time.” I’m so excited to have you join me here today! I’ve got a special guest I want you to meet, and some R3 Event tickets to give away, too.

As I write this, I’m picturing smiles stretching across your faces when you meet my sweet and amazing friend Jennifer Rothschild. Jennifer is a wife, mom, national speaker, founder of and author of several books, including “Self-talk, Soul-talk: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself as well as Me, Myself and Lies Bible Study.

She’s also one of my favorite people, and I was so happy we got to have breakfast together this week while she was in Charlotte for a video shoot. I knew she’d have something special to share about the power of our words, so I grabbed my flip video camera on the way out the door. Turn up your volume, click on the arrow and join us for some girl-talk:

Jennifer’s points really are worth remembering, and obviously I need to write them down. So, here is what she encouraged us to do with the not-so-encouraging words we speak to ourselves.
  • Recognize – Recognize if your self-talk matches up with God’s thoughts.
  • Refuse – Refuse any self-talk that is not consistent with God’s words.
  • Re-phrase – Re-phrase negative thoughts to align with scripture. Tell yourself the TRUTH, and nothing but God’s truth!
When we take these 3 steps, God begins to erase the negative self-talk and lies we tell ourselves.Speaking of erasers, Jennifer needed one. That morning she bent over to get something and hit her eye on the edge of the desk. {Cringe} She had a video shoot for E-women at 1pm and a lovely black eye. So, I whipped out what I call my “magic eraser” makeup and covered it up. Look. You cannot even see the deep dark purple mark under her eye.

And it did a nice job on my dark circles, too. [The after-effect of my 2yr old waking up at 3am that morning.] So, what is my “magic eraser”? It’s Maybelline, and only costs $7.99! Now, here’s your chance win some, along with more fun stuff. I’ve got 2 give-aways!

“(R3) Refresh, Renew & Recharge Gift Pak” (1 winner)
2 tickets to my R3 women’s event in Williamston, NC Feb 19th
(must be able to attend event to win this gift pak)
Rest Assured message on CD by Renee Swope

To enter, click on the word “comments” right below this post and write in the white box.

  1. What “not-so-encouraging” things do you sometimes think or say to yourself? What’s a verse you can use to re-phrase that thought, if you know one? I know this is a vulnerable topic, but I hope you’ll go there with me. The first step is recognizing and naming the lies.
  2. If you are able to attend my event Feb 19th in Williamston, NC, let me know and you’ll be part of the 2nd give-away, too.
  3. Share a link to this post and all that Jennifer shared with us – via email, Facebook, Twitter or your blog. Then leave another comment letting me know, and you’ll double your entries!

On Friday night Monday(I decided to extend it through the weekend) I’ll post the winners and several of God’s promises to help you tell yourself the TRUTH. {PLEASE subscribe for email updates in my sidebar to receive your promises, and to be notified if you win.To just be notified of winning, you can leave your email in your comment.}

About Renee

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, story-teller, heart-encourager and grace-needer. She's also a wife, mom, friend, daughter and author of A Confident Heart, a Retailers Choice Award winning book that became a best-seller and has been published in six languages, with over 150,000 copies sold. Renee is speaks around the country at women's events and and serves on the writing team for DaySpring’s inCourage blog. For twenty years, Renee served in leadership at Proverbs 31 Ministries and as former co-host of the ministry's radio program, “Everyday Life with Lysa & Renee.


  1. Oh Wow, Renee- I LOVE THIS! These words just simply speak VOLUMES! It's so hard to easy allow negative words and looking at it and changing the words like Jennifer suggested is a fabulous idea! I have caught myself sometimes picking at myself (my eyes are too small, or ugh – today I'm not as beautiful as yesterday), or even going as far as feeling like I'm not as good of a wife or letting my husband down in some way, or that I'm not as successful as I should be.
    I think winning the giveaway would just be wonderful – reading Jennifer's words I think would be something that would be a beautiful transformation within myself and I would be able to pass her books on! 🙂

  2. I teared up wondering just how honest I wanted to be. The things I hear daily are: you are so fat. You are so ugly. You are so stupid. Dad hated you because you are all of the above. You will never amount to anything. you will never be loved and special. You will never be successful…need I go on?
    The Scripture I am trying to claim for myself is the entirety of Psalm 139, esp verse 14.

    Thank you Renee and God Bless!

  3. Emily B ( says:

    It's so easy to get caught up the the lies that sneak into our thoughts…mine consist of appearance issues (too chubby, bad clothes, sloppy, etc.) to negativity towards my husband or when things don't go my way…

  4. Praying for each of you right now and all of you that comment on this post. It's a vulnerable topic. Thank you for being brave and sharing your heart. I'm going to post verses on Friday to combat some of our most common lies. Love you all!!

  5. I am a woman that years ago used to tell myself terrible things. I would look in the mirror and call myself a fat so and so. i would say ugly, ugly things to myself. Then I though women at church and teachings from Womens Ministry I learned to say "casting down imaginations" and each time that I said that, I started to believe what the Bible had to say about me. God loves me as his Daughter and I was a new creation in Him. I am no longer the child that was abused until teenage years, But a Daughter whom God my father would not harm or hurt in any way.
    Thank you for your words of encouragement. God bless you and yours.

  6. The Power of Words spoken is SO true. We ARE what we speak. When we tell ourselves we cannot do something/anything ~ we can't.
    When others tell us we "cannot keep doing what we are doing", our lives could be turned upside down in a nanosecond. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to Trust the Lord with our Whole Heart and not lean on what WE understand.
    The moment my mind ~ or anyone else ~ tells me I "cannot keep doing what I am doing" I first ask God to fill the holes in my plate that is leaking for He does not give me any more than I can handle. Next, I recall the words in Proverbs 3:5.
    By allowing God to intervene and take command my heart is eased and I am once again at peace.
    No One should Ever hear the words "cannot keep doing what you are doing"! These words could throw you into a negative spiral…BUT by throwing yourself into God's Word you Will rise above and Press On through your day. A NEW Day begins every 24 hours; we need to search for the NEW in everything we do.

  7. Man, oh man, is this right up the alley of what I was typing for a page on my blog.

    Growing up I always had the voice of my brother whispering in my ear, "Thunder Thighs. Bubble Butt. Hunky Chunky Funky Fat Mama."(The last one is a favorite.NOT!) He has since apologized for those things, especially since his friends would chime in. As a young woman, already taller than anyone her age and some of the older kids, that hurt, alot. Part of that shaped my self-image and caused me to have poor eating habits. It was binge and purge or just starve yourself.

    I still struggle today, but God has placed His own whispers in my heart.

    "You are fearfully and wonderfully made."

    "You are a Daughter of the King."

    "You are My Chosen One."

    At times I struggle to hear God's voice speaking those things to me because unfortunetly we allow what man says to have more presidence over our Creator. Or, at least I do.

    But, I'm learning. I'm growing. And I'm beginning to listen and know.

  8. For 5 years of staying with my family in the Philippines. I have gone through so much ridicule in my life, they tell me that I am worthless, I cannot achieve what I wanted to achieve (I wanted to become a doctor ever since I was a child). So believing this thought that my relatives told me, I gave up pursuing it. I studied to become a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. But on my second year, despite my high grades in my major subjects. I failed in Math, that subject wasn't my forte. So they made me stop that course and they made me pursue a lower degree. Saying I cannot do it. I didnt like them anymore so after they pulled me out. I didn't obey any of what they tell me to do. I felt that they are only concerned for themselves and not for my well being.

    My relatives being "Christians" said I lost my way. I can never be saved because I was disobedient. And they all agreed that I was worthless. My younger brother and sister would become more successful than I will ever be. I would wallow in poverty they said.

    I recognize now through your video and also reading the scripture that all of those things are a lie. Jesus loves me.

    For He told me that I am His and He loves me more than I could ever imagine and that He says "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

    So THANK YOU. For sharing this good news to me. The lie of the enemy would still haunt me from time to time. But I will REFUSE those lies and Re-phrase it with God's truth!

  9. It's easy to think I'm not good enough or I can't do it. But I like the verse Psalm 46:5. It makes me feel more at peace and know that he is with me, I can accomplish anything.

  10. Such a great post today, Renee! For me, it's regrets. Nothing can take me into the pits faster than a replay of my past failures and regrets. But talk about "magic erasures!" Isaiah 43:25 says, "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."
    Thank you so much for the reminder today. Your words are powerful to me!

  11. Hi Renee … I have an online ministry that I post to every day. On January 27, 2011 this is the email I sent out. I draw most of my posts from personal experience. (I'd love to come see you, but I won't be able to join you 🙁

    Here is the post and the answer to your question:

    Ever have destructive thoughts? You know, the one's that go something like this: "I'm not good enough", "(s)he hates me", "I'm such a loser", "All I ever do is make mistakes". I could go on and I'm sure you've thought of others as you read this.

    Well there is a reason these types of thoughs are called "destructive".

    They mess up your spiritual rhythm.

    These "inside" thoughts are meant for just that purpose, to take your focus off of God.

    These thoughts are planted by the father of lies himself, Satan (or at least one of his minions). He is a liar from the top of his head to the tips of his smelly toes (figuratively speaking that is – I don't know if angels {even fallen ones} have heads and toes like we are accustom to).

    We must be diligent and always remember that Satan's number one job is to keep us from our King. Anyway he can. And if he can convince you to continuously tell yourself (the "inside" thoughts) that you are worthless, he has accomplished his goal. Because if you are berating yourself, then you are not praising God. (see 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

    May I offer an alternative? (given to you, through me, directly from God)

    Whenever you "hear" yourself in your head talking smack to yourself, say this out loud:

    SHUT UP SATAN!! by the Power of Christ Jesus begone!! (repeat if necessary – as many times as it takes)

    Speak boldly and out loud! You don't have to scream or be loud – unless of course you are somewhere where you can be { I recommend this option 🙂 }. But I tell you, Satan will hear a whisper as well as a scream.

    This alternative is a prayer, and you need to think of it as such. Satan will hear you every time, and so will God.

    Then get into the Word. Get to know God so you have more amunition against Satan. Getting to know God better is always a right answer 🙂

    One more thing, don't forget to praise God when Satan has left the inside of your head!

  12. Jennifer Renee says:

    Jennifer's three points are exactly what I need to remember. I'm harder on myself than anyone else. I've often told myself that I should end my life or just kill myself when I did something wrong. I've said many negative things to myself about myself but that one has to be the worst. A friend of mine calls them ungodly beliefs.

    When you mentioned Jennifer hitting her eye I felt the pain. I've done that many times.

  13. Anonymous says:

    This was what they call ironic, to receive your blog from someone who caused me a lot of pain by telling me I was not invited to a Christmas party for their "house church" b/c I was not a part of their group. I didn't go to house church because it's in the evening and my husband is not a Christian so I would be leaving him home in the evening. He works very hard and long hours so I try to do "my" stuff during the day and was attending a bible study in the a.m. with my former church. I had been attending this church for almost a year but I had hosted her house church at my house 3 times when their regular host could not have it at her house. They all came to my house and told me I was a part of them even though I didn't come every week but when it came to celebrations like summer picnics and Christmas parties I wasn't included. This is how my life goes, the harder I try the more I'm excluded. How do you not have negative thoughts when you get treated like no one has time for you. I hope that made sense but the irony is that I'm receiving your emails now becasue of someone who cause me great rejection, which BTW is a major issue for me, imagine that. God would allow people to reject me knowing i have an issue with it 🙂
    Thanks for listening

  14. Anonymous says:

    I just can't stop eating the sweets and snacks. Food overpowers and defeats me. Verse: Everything is permissable, not everything is beneficial. I rewrote that script 40 days ago with God directing life changes and we are experiencing success.

  15. I hear that I'm not smart enough, special enough, or valuable enough to ______ – to help, to lead, to teach, whatever the case may be. I love the Casting Crowns song because it reminds me that I need to listen to the Voice of Truth and not those 'scripts' that play in my head.

    Would love to come hear you!

  16. I always get down on myself for sometimes not being such a "great" mom. When my patience runs thin and I act in a way I don´t like I really get down on myself. I can´t think of a specific verse right now, I will have to look one up to help me with this.

  17. Thank you. I really enjoyed your conversation and the insights and wisdom from both of you.

    I am doing Jennifer's Bible study right now on Me, Myself & Lies a thought closet makeover. Today's lesson was to write a "fate label," and mine was "not a mom." I couldn't write infertile like the example she had put even though I'm not a mom after almost 16 years of marriage because it would hurt too much to put that done, and I believe that God is bigger than the time that I've waited to become a mom.

    I don't know what scripture I could use except for Jeremiah 29:11 and believe that God has given me a hope and a future and Acts 10:34 that He is no respecter of persons.

  18. Oh Renee, this post and video was exactly what I needed to hear. It actually brought tears in a good way – reminded me that though I can be quick to believe in and encourage others I rarely do the same for myself. I've allowed myself to listen to lies far too often – actually wrote on my blog today about days of answering the question "Who am I?" with "just Jill," which was accompanied with all those lies – I'm not good enough, smart enough…worth enough basically.

    As I listened to you and Jennifer I realize that this is the source of my recent struggle – as God calls me away from a wonderful leadership team satan has whispered, "God doesn't need you" and as I open the door and listen that whisper has become a scream of those lines from the past – you're not good enough, nobody needs you and on and on. Oh how I need to speak truth to myself!!

    The verse I'm resting with tonight is "I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Is 41:9-10

    Renee thanks for encouraging me once again and reminding me of what I need!! Blessings to you, Jill

    Also wanted to mention I've received some great words because of your devotion. Thank you much.

  19. I love love love the Maybelline's Eraser Treatment Makeup!

  20. I love this entry. I also read some of these comments and will be praying for all these women. Thank you, Rene, for your ministry and shedding some truth into the lies that bombard our thoughts.
    I always think whatever I do is not enough… I sometimes question if I missed something that God is trying to tell me, if I am good enough for Him to hear my prayers, if I am doing all I can to be the good and faithful servant… As soon as those thoughts enter my thoughts, I KNOW it's a lie– and I pray for forgiveness for doubting God's love and mercy and grace. Psalm 139:13-18 helps me. Psalm 36:5-6 helps me as well.

  21. Wow! This is exactly what I have been sharing with a friend of mine. Her son is fighting cancer, in many parts of his body, and the pressure of all the treatments is getting to them. I have encouraged her to SPEAK LIFE! Satan puts lies in our heads (I can't do this, I'd be better off dead, etc.) and we need to use God's word to speak the truth. I have found that "praying the scripture" works in an amazing way. God bless you both!

    PS Please pray for Sam's healing ~ Thank you!

  22. Great post. Too often I tell myself "I can't do it or do anything right. The best scripture for these times is Phil 4:13…

  23. Wow! Reading over all the comments, it is sad how we all struggle with feelings of inadequacy.
    I struggle with feeling not good enough. Not good enough to be worthy of Jesus dying for me. Not worthy enough to approach God's throne in prayer. However, I recently found a verse that has made a dramatic change in me…..
    Hebrews 10:14 says
    14 For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.

    When God looks at me, He sees PERFECTION! What an awesome and exhillarating thought! I may not be good enough, but through accepting Jesus Chrtist, my sins are washed away and I am that perfect being that God created. My inner self just can't argue with that one! This verse makes my heart soar!!
    Thank you for your posts! I am a newby here, but have enjoyed it greatly.

  24. Wow! I have been totally getting on myself about not being a good enough wife, mom & not keeping up the house as I (think) I should and then I tell myself maybe I am just not good enough in general and the lies go on… Total guilt trip on myself everyday (I am still working on not beating myself up over every little thing!)

    In reality, if I am doing the best I can God knows that and that should be good enough. Plus I am his creation, created in his image (Genesis 1 &2). He loves me and wants me to live to my fullest each day which does not mean everything will go perfectly. I need to learn to cut myself a little slack just like I do for other people. God is a God of love for all people (John 3:16) and that does include me. No more listening to Satan's lies. I will do the best I can with God's strength (Philip. 4:11) and allow that to be enough each day.

    Thanks for the giveaways-I can't travel to your teaching session although I think it would be nice to do so. Thanks!

  25. This was a great reminder as I headed into work. There are many challenging people that I work with and just remembering that my words can make a difference is always a good way to start any day! Thank you!

  26. I tell myself that I am a failure as a mom; that I can't go on like this and that I will never get over my anger and irritability. I pray every day that the Holy Spirit will "demolish every argument and pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and take captive every thought and make it obedient to Him." I remind myself that "I am a saint who has been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, God's child and a co-heir with Christ" and that "He who began the good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

  27. "I can't do this" is a thought that often goes through my head. But Psalm 37:5 says, "Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust Him, and He will help you."

    GREAT post…and we ALL need to hear it!

  28. I cannot attend, but loved this message. Thanks, Renee!

  29. Sometimes I tell myself I can't do anything right. I know it isn't true, but I say it, and I know there are times I believe it. I claim Phil 4:13 in those times. I also am in the middle of an impossible situation, and I know it. I keep telling myself that nothing is impossible with God, Lk 1:37. I know He will get me through the circumstances, I just need to keep my eyes on HIM. Sharon

  30. My constant thought are,"I am not good enough, smart enough, and old, (53)" but the Lord is trying to tell me to get off my butt and learn. The lord did not make dummies, we have to choose to learn and listen to the quiet voice of GOD, saying TRUST ME, follow ME, LOVE ME, trying to do better each day. Thank you for showing me the way, the truth and the LOVE

  31. Yes, Renee, I too need to tell my self the truth – that my words very often do not speak encouragement to others or myself! Psalm 37:5 was my church's memory verse for January, and it is one I need to repeat every single day!! God Bless!

  32. Oh, I would love to win the gift pack…

    I worry about our finances daily. I should be thinking " I am a Child of the King and if I but put HIM first in my life HE will add these things.
    It tells me in HIS Holy Word that God's people will never beg for food, and we have always been able to pay the bills every month so why do I not trust HIM more?

    Sue Nabb
    SueNabb at gmail dot com

  33. Thanks Renee! Saw you in Cedar Falls two years ago and love your work! Doing some very diffucult inner work this year – fight of my life… but God's love is powerful and I know He will not let me fail! Would love the Maybelline giveaway especially. Love ya – Bobbi

  34. What a great giveaway!! I wouldn't be able to attend the conference on Feb. 19th…Florida is a bit of a commute! Although, I sure would love to. But the books, and make-up sound amazing!
    Many blessings, Renee! Pamela

  35. Oh the mind and the thoughts that Satan can sneak in on me! I have thoughts sometimes that I am not a good mother because my house is not very clean all of the time. And sometimes I can get a little frustrated at my 1st grader when he doesn't do his homework or such like I think that he should.
    I can't think of a specific verse on this…maybe someone can help a girl out with one!

  36. I can definitely attend the event on Feb. 19 and would LOVE to!

  37. Terri Lynn says:

    Some of the negatives I hear?

    You won't ever win the war, you may well win a few battles but ultimately you just don't have what it takes to conquer your eating/weight problems.

    Phillipians 4:13, For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

    Romans 8:37, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

    2 Chronicles 15:7, But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

    Psalm 28:7, The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.

    Proverbs 3:5-8, Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do,and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.

    Luke 18:27, Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."

    1 Corinthians 10:31-32, So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

    1 Corinthians 15:57, But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

    2 Corinthians 10:4-6, The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

    Beyond scripture I remind myself that through my trust and faith He has helped me to conquer other negative self-talk and lies from the enemy that kept me bound for years. This self-talk may be more deeply rooted than the ones I've uprooted and destroyed thus far, but my goal is to continue building my roots deep in Him because He has shown me those roots, unlike these deeply rooted lies, can never be destroyed!

    Colossians 2:7, Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

    I'd love to come to Williamston and spend the day buidling my roots deeper in Him!

    Thank you Renee ♥

  38. I can't do this!

    "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
    Phil 4:13

  39. as much as I try to tell myself differently, I know that my inner thoughts are saying I'll never get this fledging business off the ground, I'll never be able to glorify God in the way I believe He is directing me. I know HE believes in me, I just don't. And then there's the matter of my looks. As I reduce what I eat, eat healthier, and exercise I am waiting for the pounds to start falling off — and they aren't. I find myself saying it will never happen, I'll never be thin again … and how can God use a once slim and pretty woman who is now a fat person that cringes when she looks in the mirror.

    So — as much as I'd love to win the magic eraser makeup, I would certainly love to read Jennifer's book!

  40. I can't do this!

    "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!"
    Phil 4:13

  41. The only person who ever told me I am beautiful is my husband of 37 years. Besides Jesus, that is all I need.

  42. What a great post; I have to watch my self-talk AND I have dark circles under my eyes, so I need an attitude and make-up adjustment! 🙂 Of course, if I replace the lies the enemy puts in my head with God's truth, maybe I won't have as many dark circles to cover up. I think sometimes we use food and other things as "make-up" to cover soul blemishes such as negative self-talk, poor self-esteem, and shame.

    I have spent several years now fighting a feeling of unworthiness in friendship; I don't know exactly why, but I suspect a big part is tied to my self esteem and weight. I am determined to replace the lie that I'm not worthy of girlfriends with God's truth – Philippians 1:6 (AMP)
    "And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you."

    Unfortunately, I won't be there to hear you speak, but I will be praying for you!


  43. I tell myself from time to time that it's hard especially a course that I am undertaking at university. I doubt myself too much. I will claim and declare Phillipians 4:13

  44. Thankfully in my walk & daily life I have so many dear people that speak truth & encouraging words to me. However I do find myself saying negative things about my body & I justify those words because I am not currently do well on my eating & working out….those words feed into selfdoubt & hold me back in areas & there comes the defeat.

  45. I say so many things to myself and very seldom are any of them positive. I really need to change that. I'm not doing anything right, I'm fat, I shouldn't have said it that way, etc. You get the idea. I try to remember that I am perfect in God's eyes, it's not easy though.

    I don't live near NC so I cannot enter that giveaway, however, I'd love to win the other one. Thank you for the chance and for such an inspirational blog.

  46. 1. Lies from the enemy
    I'm 42 years old and getting ready to co-lead a high school girls group for 5 weeks when the attractive 22 year old woman leading may step down (she's getting married!) The lies I tell myself and keep fighting off are simply my fears.

    "I'm not as young and hip as this woman is. The girls won't like me and will be disappointed to have me step in."

    I know God's called me to do this and am stepping out in faith ~ but the words that keep entering my mind (from the enemy) are trying to make me discouraged.

    2. I cannot attend your function due to my location.

  47. Like so many women, I've spent my life living in regrets of my past, listening to satan's lies (You are stupid, you are fat, you are a terrible wife and mom, comparing myself to other women, on and on.) The last few years, I have been fighting satan's lies with God's truths, Romans 12:2, transforming my mind, Proverbs 3:5-8. We must take those thoughts captive when they first seek entrance into our minds in order to stop satan dead in his tracks and hear God's victorious truth about us.

    Sweet Blessings for your ministry.

  48. I've struggled with negative self-talk most of my life and as a 31 yr old mother of 2 (one being a daughter) I really want to be a good role model.

    Some of my thoughts include: I'm not good enough-not pretty enough, personable enough, thoughtful enough….etc. A common theme-enough.

    I'm learning to read what God says about me in His word and believing Him-even when I don't feel like it's true.

    I try to re-phrase those neg. thoughts with verses from the bible.

    Amy V. IN WI

  49. I love these inspirational R's! Thank you for sharing.
    I want to do my best to breathe truth and life into those around me so they never need to erase my words.

  50. I just posted on Facebook! Don't know why I didn't do that the other day. Duh!

    I can't make it to the 19th conference.:-( Have a meeting for our mission trip to Nepal–we leave on the 7th of March! PRAY! for us.

    But, if it's possible to get signed up for the 25th one anyway, please enter me!

  51. Thanks for this post! I am doing a study now on what a great impact our words have on others! This is so great! There is so much power in words. We need to use them carefully, even with ourselves.

  52. When I 'mis-fire' in an activity, my self-talk says something to the effect of 'that was a really stupid thing to do, you dummy'. I need to work on letting my words minister grace to myself as well! (Eph. 4:29)

  53. Tried to leave a comment earlier and google wouldn't take will try now.

    Thanks for the great post. I'm sure your words and Jennifer's words have encouraged a great number of people.

    My main issue is trusting Him for provision for the future. My husband is self employed so our money has never been truly consistent and the last few years, it's been spotty…yet I can trace the hand of God and He has never let me want for anything and I have an overabundance compared to some. When the fear hits, I think back to specific times He has provided at just the right time and how He has always protected and provided for me all of my life.

    It breaks my heart to read of so many young people who are being led astray by the evil one in to thinking that they are less than what they are. Jennifer's books should go a long way in helping with that. His Word never fails. Thanks for giving it out…Blessings on your ministry.

    I live out of your state, so can not come to the conference. Thanks for doing this…

    Mary Lou

  54. I'm always saying things to myself, like how can my husband really love me. I am so fat, nagging, etc. Lately, I've been tryin to tell myself that God loves me no matter what and to focus on all the love and attention my husband gives me instead of focusing on the "what ifs". thank you for the giveaways and chance to win.

  55. Hi Renee — I am entering the contest to hear you speak in Williamston, NC, on behalf of my sister (who lives in Greenville, NC). She would LOVE hearing you.

    Angela Wilson

  56. Thank you so much for sharing this. I struggle with it so much…I am going to repost now on my facebook and memorize those 3 R's 🙂 I am excited to look into some of her books too!

  57. Not so encouraging self-talk: "I'm afraid….!"

    Scripture: "God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind."

  58. I just bought Self Talk, Soul Talk today!!! I can't wait to dig in!! As I've shared how ugly I talk to myself, several friend have recommended it. I say things to myself I would never say to or about anyone else. Ever. My mama would wash my mouth out with soap if she knew!!

    I'm starting to realize my biggest problem isn't that I don't believe God is who He says He is but it's that I don't believe who He says I am.

    Thanks and big hugs!! xoxoxoxo

  59. Poor self-talk is nothing new for me, unfortunately. But, with God's great grace and through working with preschoolers, I'm learning to combat the negativity with God's Word. I am reminded that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" and that God will "rejoice over me with singing". Imagine if our preschoolers could all start with really believing these promises, and more!

    I've shared your blog on my FB profile.

    Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts on this topic,

  60. I'm my own worst critic every single day. I'm always telling myself things like I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, sucessful enough. I'm also telling myself things like I don't have real friends because they don't come to me first — I feel like I'm always chasing them to spend time. I grew up with a very negative image of myself and it still haunts me to this day.
    I've done Jennifers Me, Myself, and Lies bible study with a small group and it was just fabulous! I absolutely love her! I haven't read her book and would love too. Wish I lived closer to NC to come see you, but that's not going to work for me.


  61. Wow…what do I say most often to myself? That I am 'just Carla", not anyone special or important.

    I know in my head who is behind those lies. And I am claiming the TRUTH for myself [and for my children]:
    I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
    The king is enthralled by my beauty (Psalm 45:11)
    God so loved me, that he gave his only Son…(John 3:16)

  62. I so enjoyed this! My not so encouraging words usually return to the comfort of what I thought of myself as a child. Mainly, worthless is my favorite go to bad feeling word. Lots of lies are whispered into my mind and heart daily. It takes constant practice to keep then on track and in check. Jeremiah 29:11 and Gal 5:1 are the two verses I use most often to combat it.

    My birthday is the 18th and while I'd love to see you in NC on the 19th, that is not possible. I am in Oregon but also going on a lovely womens retreat at the beach and I am soooo excited! Alone time to write, while looking out at the ocean, while laughing and loving on close Jesus girls!

    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

  63. Shared on Facebook!

    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

  64. I am never going to be loved no matter how hard i try i only feel lost. i try to build up other people but i just can't do the same for me. If i find a good friend i end up either loosing them or driving them away it's just so hard.
    i don't have a verse that speaks to me and i just keep wondering how is this gods plan and what does he want me to learn from it?

  65. Renee, what wonderful words to remember, Recognize, Refuse, and
    Re-phrase! We all have faults and luckly I've never been a victum of verbal abuse, but I know of women that have and convincing them that those words that have been spoken to them are not true is very difficult. I plan to share this (from your link to mine) on Facebook and hopefully other will be touched by this video and your wonderful Blog! Hugs to you and thank you!

  66. Our Ladies Bible Study group has done several of Jennifer's studies and she is wonderful and so encouraging. I am guilty of being very negative on myself as a mother, wife, homemaker. Cooking and Cleaning are not my favorite activities:( I know the Bible instructs me in Prov 31 to be a godly woman and I do strive to grow more into that woman each day. Thanks for sharing all your encouragement!!!

  67. Loved this blog. Its so true the lies that we allow the evil one to put in our heads. Often my biggest lie to fight is, "what if they get mad or upset at me" I often don't take risks because of fear of conflict. God is teaching me that I have him on my side always! He is for me and not against me!

  68. I just posted the video on my blog because it is a perfect follow up to my story.

    Beautiful and Glorious! The transforming power of God and His Live-Giving, Freeing Truth!!

  69. I sometimes think/say that I'm not "enough" in whatever I'm doing. Although I am certainly not going to get anywhere in my own strength, I am fully capable of doing all things through Christ who strengthens me!

    Prayers and blessings,

  70. I am not a great self-encourager
    Very critical of myself sometimes

    The verse about not setting our minds on things above and not on earthly things…….

    ** Unfortunately NH and NC are a distance away .. maybe someday I will get to hear you again…..

  71. I shared a link to this page via facebook.

    The books by Jennifer sound amazing.. esp the one about the me,myself and lies bible study… I could use that one….

  72. Sent an email, and tweeted it!!

  73. Negative internal dialogue is what I am an expert at. I can go from being a poor person…bad mom…bad wife…bad financial planner for our family etc you name it…I wish I could shut it off but it is a daily struggle for me. I have to say I believe it stems from childhood bullying that caused me to think I am not worth anything. I have learned to at least identify that I am doing it…but to fix it is a daily battle. I try to raise my children…all 7 of them…with constant praise and building their esteem because I never want them to grow up like I have. Thanks for the chance for this give away. Pampering the soul is always a blessing!! I have turned a lot of my "issues" over to God in the last 6 months!! Love your blog!! It is a ray of sunshine in my sometimes gloomy mind-set!!

  74. What a message! I find myself believing the lies Satan whispers in my ear. I am a daughter of the King of Kings but sometimes forget that fact! Thank you again for this reminder that I can choose to believe that Christ walks with me to help me moment by moment. If I won giveaway I'd share with my friend Nancy who also has a hard time believing she should live the good life with self esteem.

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