Uniquely You!

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn’t really like who I was. I’d compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, “The Real Me” featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I’ve learned.

First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”

She’s right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others’ strengths and then be who He created us to be.

Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. If you don’t have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of “Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are” Workbook and CD.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I’d love to know your age and where you’re from.

About Renee

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, story-teller, heart-encourager and grace-needer. She's also a wife, mom, friend, daughter and author of A Confident Heart, a Retailers Choice Award winning book that became a best-seller and has been published in six languages, with over 150,000 copies sold. Renee is speaks around the country at women's events and and serves on the writing team for DaySpring’s inCourage blog. For twenty years, Renee served in leadership at Proverbs 31 Ministries and as former co-host of the ministry's radio program, “Everyday Life with Lysa & Renee.


  1. Anonymous says:

    This devotion ties in to the book I am reading called "Captivating" At 46 years, I am still searching for what God has planned for me. I have had a long career, I married later in life and have two beautiful boys that are 5 and 10. There are times when I wish I was a tad younger so I could have more time to develop this plan. At present, I am a stay at home mom after leaving a job last August. For such a long time I have felt that having "this job" defined me. I thought I was super woman until I started staying home with my boys and realized what all I had been missing out on.

    I pray today that God leads me in the path that he wants me to go on. I am a people pleaser and tend to do what will help others instead of what I want.
    This website was sent to me by a friend and has given me the resource to stay on track daily. (before the work of being a mom sets in) I am glad God lead you in the direction to minister to us.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Wow, I can relate to this topic so well. I am 49 and still searching for who I am and why am I here. I am lost and looking for my passion.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thank you so much for this devotion today. I pray that I will look at the way that God has made me for who I am. I do know that He has made each one of unique. Sometimes I forget about that and I guess allow my job and people define who I am. Thank-you for reminding me who I need to be more like, which is Christ. I have been so blessed by your website. Have a blessed day!

  4. Oh my goodness. You just described how I have felt to a T. I am 44 and been around the mountain so many times trying to find myself and thought I was the only one feeling this way. Thank you so much for this devotion this morning. This gives me hope that it is not too late to find out who God made me to be and that I am actually created for a purpose..

  5. Thank you for this devotional today. I needed that reminder. In your Proverbs 31 devotional you mention that there were some books you read that helped you. Could you mention them? Thanks!

  6. I have often felt that I don't know who I am or what my purpose is on this Earth. Thank you for posting this devotional and post today! It has given me much to think about!! iactup2@hotmail.com

  7. It's funny how God puts things in your life that you SO need to hear. Thank you for sharing. I jumped over here from my email devotion.

  8. Like the other posts, I have been trying to figure out God's purpose for me. My mom died when I was 7 (I am now 43) and so many times I still feel like that lost little girl who just lost her mom. I have no idea of my spiritual gifts. I too would love to know the titles of the books you mentioned. Thanks for all you do to minister to others.

  9. Nice devotion Renee. I'm definitely going to pray on this a little harder. I get so caught up in my mommy-mode and doing what I think my family needs, that I guess I forget to ask God to lead me. I compare myself a lot to other women and am really going to try to focus more simply on God. Thanks for the big reminder.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Still stumbling around but trusting that God works in His own time frame! Maybe this is the way He'll show me what the way is to be!



    tammons at triad dot rr dot com

  11. Anonymous says:

    I feel like I am at least 3 of the different personalities! Maybe that's my problem:) Thanks for sharing….I have some work to do.


  12. Thank-you so much for your devotional on Crosswalk today and for your blog! When I read the devotional I clicked right over to your blog.

    I am 33 years old and am always comparing myself to others. Not in the sense that I want to be like them exactly, but I look at others and think how mature and organized and confident they are. And next to them I feel like a little child who has a lot of growing up to do!

    Thank-you for the blog, and thank-you for the contest! My email is queenblogforhim@gmail.com

  13. Anonymous says:

    Another nudge from God from your devotion! Thanks for obeying Him. Melissa Reynolds

  14. WOW!! You always hit it right on the head when I'm really strugling with something. I've been really praying for the last 2 years what God's will for my life, which direction to go in There is so many things I enjoy doing, but figuring out my true passion. It changes from day to day. I am wishy washy I reckon. But this is so good to me. Thanks Renee…

  15. Thanks for sharing your age – I love knowing that so we can see where each of us is in life. I'm 42.

    The books I read that helped me were: Personality Plus and The Sacred Romance book and workbook.

    I think the first step is finding out we're not the only one who struggles with this. That is huge and freeing. The next step is taking time to discover and learn to love who we really are meant to me – in Christ – and in our uniqueness. This is a journey but so worth taking as we seek to become the woman God created us to be.

    Thanks for sharing your hearts and stories. I am reading each comment and praying for each one of you today.

    Sweet blessings,

  16. Anonymous says:

    This devotion resonated with me. . . and many other ladies as well it seems! It is somewhat comforting to know I am not the only one still searching for what I want to be when I grow up. . . I sincerely want to know God's desire for me to know and execute my purpose for His glory and honor.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Wow, just when you think your the only one who feels this way. I am going on 48, Stay at home mom who home schools 2 boys, who still is looking to fit in.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for this devotional Renee. God is amazing because this is exactly where I am at right now…trying to figure out who I am and what the Lord has uniquely designed me to do. Tonya at lyan1961@yahoo.com

  19. Anonymous says:

    I am 49 and reading the devotion this morning only confirmed that I do not know who I am or God's purpose for my life. I felt the Holy Spirit insist that I purchase the Shaped With Purpose Handbook & CD. I truly enjoyed the devotion and am thankful for your sharing those thoughts with us. God bless you!

  20. Many

    Thank you very much for your encouragement. I want to know who I am .

    God Bless you!

    Petronela (Romania)

  21. Anonymous says:

    Today's devotional really hit home with me as well–I've been a people pleaser for years and constantly compare myself to those around me–and yes, it can be exhausting! Recently, I had the opportunity to take a "Discovering your spiritual gifts" class at my church, and it was life changing! My primary gift is the gift of faith–knowing this has not only helped me put the various pieces of my life together (past and present), but enables me to have more direction with the Lord for my future! Thanks for the insight and encouragement Renee!

    Melinda McCullah, 34

  22. Mary Lynn says:

    I have been trying to understand and have peace about what I am suppose to be doing now in my life. Thanks for the thoughts today and the scripture to ponder.

  23. Timing is everythng! I have really been struggling with this for the last 6-8 months. I can see pieces of myself if almost all the comments. I have 3 daughters (9 and 6 yo twins). I left a fairly high level job as a Chemical engineer when the twins were born because I did not want the lifestyle I saw my peers having. Now that I have time to breathe – I'm praying and trying to figure out what I should be doing. So far, not much response….. I'm 43 and feel like if I don't figure it out soon, it will be too late.

  24. Anonymous says:

    It looks like there are many of us who relate to your devotion today. I too hopped over here after reading your devotion this morning. Thank you for sharing your heart with us in such an open and honest way.

  25. Thanks for the devotion today. WOW!!this one really spoke to me.I am 44 years old and still struggle with doing for others and not enough for me. I plan on reading the book "Personality Plus". Thanks again. I have dreams on what I would like to use creative talents God has given me but don't know how to put them in place. I will be praying more for God to show me the direction He has planned for me.

  26. Anonymous says:

    I would love to be put in the drawing for the book. frankheidi@bellsouth.net

  27. Wonderful post Renee! I can actually see myself somewhere in each of the personality types, but I probably lean more towards the Phlegmatic type, as my life has mostly been anything but peaceful.

    At the age of 37, I long to be living out God's plans and purposes for me. Still figuring that out, but as He draws me closer to Him, He also reveals more of that purpose to me.

    I was "that girl" that used to always compare myself to others. I'd like to say that part of me is gone, but I know that's not entirely true. However, I am more content with who I am than I ever have been in my entire life – all praise goes to God for that!

  28. I am getting to the point in my life where I need to find the next path…my children are moving on to school. My purpose so far has been mommy. So, I am asking God what next. Thanks for the thoughts today!

    I am 34 and from Michigan.

  29. Oops…my email is tiedema2@msu.edu

  30. Anonymous says:

    Men can feel this too!
    We have so much responsibility
    but we can question and ponder on what is my real purpose just like the ladies. It is a human thing especially at the 40's. Being in a career that really gives peace and a feeling of accomplishment is a human need.

  31. Anonymous says:

    Thank you so much for this devotional. God is definately speaking to me this morning. I am 37 years old, a mother, wife, and a special education teacher. Yet, I am not sure who I really am. I feel like I am so busy doing what I think I am suppose to be doing…and making sure everyone is happy, that I don't know who I am. This devotional has opened my eyes. I am going to spend time with God and find out what he desires of me and what His dreams are for my life here on earth.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this devotional.

    God Bless,

  32. Anonymous says:

    As a Women's Ministry Director it constantly amazes me how many women do not understand this concept. Once they do it is so exciting to watch lives transform and blossom.

    Thank you for enlightening many women God always has a purpose for what He does; even 'custom designing' lives.

    May God continue to use you in great ways for His kingdom work.

  33. Renee, Great words! Obviously I'm not the only one who can relate! At 33 I've spent much of my life not knowing who I was (and more importantly the first 22 years not knowing who's I was), so instead tried to be someone else. Like you say that is frustrating, exhausting and bound to be a loss. I was constantly comparing myself and never felt I measured up or was as worthy as the person next to me, but over the last few years God has really been working. It's not about who others think we are or even who we see, but who God sees and designed us to be. For me it was and at times still is hard to accept this and put my mind around it, but the process has begun and I'm thankful. He has me doing things I never dreamed of, but it's obvious He did. That's only possible when I surrender and be the person He made me to be. Renee, thanks for being uniquely you and encouraging all of us to be the same.
    Blessings from Iowa,

  34. Your Crosswalk devotion and this blog post are just what I needed this morning. I continue to struggle with questions of Why Am I Here? What Am I Supposed to Be Doing?

    I continue to wait and pray about it meanwhile doing nothing.

    I am almost 40 and couldn't answer the question of what I would do if there were no limitations. I will be praying the prayer at the end of your devotion daily.

  35. Anonymous says:

    I was just confronted with this very question, "What do I like to do? What are my interests?" a couple of days ago and I don't have an answer. It was comforting to read your devotion to know that Christian women feel this too. There are so many times where I feel "too bruised" to be apart of the women at church. Although I know it (Jesus came to save the brokenhearted and to free the prisoners) in my head, to believe it in my heart and allow the Lord to effectively use my life experiences has been a struggle. And as I am writing I am reminded that I not live but Christ lives in me, the hope of Glory.

    I thank you for your willingness to share your lfe with so many. I pray that I may allow th3 Lord to to have His Way with me in my life. To do those things that please him and inturn please me.

    God Bless
    gina crouso

  36. Anonymous says:

    I have never had a sense of "what I want to be when I grow up" either. I have just done what everyone else did when they were doing it. I am lucky in that my marriage is wonderful! I am a SAHM and I love it most of the time. I would love to find ways to be more fulfilled and a more joyful mother.

  37. Anonymous says:

    Your post in P31 today spoke to my heart. I have 4 wonderful children and I have been at home with them for over 20 years. One married last month and my youngest is entering 7th grade and I wonder who I am. Over the last 2 years this has been my cry ~ to learn who I am in Christ. My identity in Him is all that matters and I think I battle being "someone" for me. I am the people pleaser and understand your post today so well. I have no dreams except getting through today. Pray for me that God will direct me to understand His purpose for me outside my home. Thank you.

    Penny Whitley

  38. Hi! Thank you so much for this message. This week I turned 50 and I have had such a difficult time. I have had a long, successful (by everyone's else's definition), a Ph.D., have travelled extensively for my job and STILL feel unfulfilled. I have committed myself to studying how I may begin to feel fulfilled by trying to gather an understanding of what God wants for me. I have just had to "empty" myself of my previous beliefs and am trying to ask God to guide me. Most importantly, I am trying to learn how to listen to God's directions! This type of info and encouragement really helps me. I have just begun my christian journey having been baptized only last month and I am hungry and thirsty for more knowledge and more opportunity for God to teach me. Please keep up your good work. I pray that you and all women can find deep fulfillment and love for self and God's purpose.


  39. Anonymous says:

    This is something I have always struggled with. I am 43 years old and have always had Jesus in my life. Even at this age and stage in my life I still struggle comparing myself with others and how if I could be just a little more like them. I need to pray that the Lord will help deliver me from that and that I will put that much focus on who He has created me to be!
    Angela Ramsey

  40. Anonymous says:

    At 43 I am where you were at 32, I don't know. I don't have some great desire to be an actor, doctor or walk on the moon. I kinda feel wife and mom is what I was ment to be.

    Earlier this year, things changed in my life and I began a relationship with God. Although I have been saved since I was 16 years old, I never had a relationship with God. I felt that I had a hard heart. Emotions were hard for me to express and crying never happened under any circumstance. So I prayed for a softer more caring and compassionate heart. This is happening. God has placed things on my heart to do, and it is easy. Something as easy as to pray for someone or go spend time with someone in the hospital.

    If money wasn't an issue, what would I do? I have thought about this lately. My hearts desire would be to give it away to organizations of great causes. Local rescue missions for men and women. Church members that have gone to other countries as missionaries. Christian organizations that help other people in so many ways.

    Maybe Gods choice for me is to have a caring heart. I don't know and I am still learning.


  41. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your devotional. I loved the statement that when we compare ourselves to someone else, we compare our insides to their outsides. So true!
    Michelle Pardue

  42. Anonymous says:

    This devotion ties in to where I am in my life right now. Monday I have to go to court for my divorce, after 33 years of marriage. This past year has been a roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs I am not sure which way is up. I have been seeking God, looking for answers, guidance, etc. Through this he has sustained me and given me the strength to go on. I have been a career woman all my life, but my family always came first. I thought I knew myself, until this happened.

    I am asked what am I going to do now, and I am not sure. I have been trying to keep busy, but I am finding that some of the things I used to do was because of him. I didn't realize how much of myself had been wrapped around his life, his wants, his desires and dreams. I was consumed by him and lost myself in the process.

    So now I am trying to find out who I am. And right now I am not sure. I just know that God gives me strength to face each day, and I enjoy the time I am having with God. The devotions I receive have helped me get back in tune with God, drawing me closer to him.

    Your article today made me realize I need to find out who I am, so I can fulfill God's plan for my life.

    Looking back now I can see that God made provisions for me to prepare me for the things I am facing now. He is always in control.

    But it is time to move forward and become the woman he wants me to be so I can fulfill the calling he has placed in my life.

    I pray that God will guide me and direct me in the path he wishes me to follow. Thank you Lord for this devotion today. Bless Renee as she continues to encourage woman in discovering themselves.

    Diana Madrid

  43. Good Morning to all…as I was reading your article, I could so relate all that was mentioned.
    I too, have wonder myself if I was just a wanderer in this life. What is my purpose? What is the plan of God for me? What are my dreams?
    It is very encouraging to know that I am not the only woman discovering what her purpose is.
    As I set forth to discover exactly who I am in Christ, and my purpose, I believe that I am going to find much more of me then I thought.
    I pray that every woman that is also experiencing her God given talents, gifts, and purpose, come to the knowledge of exactly what her desire and dream is.

  44. Anonymous says:

    Jill, I can so identify with what you said…but I'm nearly 61 years old and it has taken me a lot longer to get where you are! Just last month I attended a HeartQuest week that completely transformed my life. I now know that my value and significance is not based on anything I do, but Who my Father is. And who I am in Him. He showed me so clearly and lovingly that I have kept Him at arm's length from me due to distrust and disappointments in my life that He had nothing to do with.

    He loves His daughters so much, and values them so much because they are His. He is waiting to pour out love on us; He is delighted in us! When I accepted these truths, my life was transformed. My striving has ceased…I live in FREEDOM; to love and be loved. To accept myself in Him and look to each day as a glorious new beginning to experience all He has for me that day!

    Connie Martin

  45. Anonymous says:

    I like you have never really sat back and thought about what I like or who I am. I started working with a counsler not long ago who asked me some questions about this same subject and tell the truth even now I don't really know. I've always been the daughter, the wife, the mother, but who is Leslie?? That's the question I'm looking to answer.

    Leslie Cribbs lcribbs@aflac.com
    39 years old
    Phenix City, AL

  46. Dear Anonymous at 7:52am. You are right – men definitely struggle with this too. I'm glad you pointed that out.

    I know that my husband watched and listened as I was discovering my purpose and it helped Him discover God's purpose for his life, too. He thought it would mean a job change but it's actually been more about him seeing ministry opps at work based on his unique shape. Also, getting involved in ministry at our church that fits his purpose has made a big difference. It's taken years but it's been so worth the effort and perseverance through the ups and downs.

  47. Anonymous says:

    This so describes me. I am 42 years old and I have never truly felt at peace with who I am. I have never found out what I want to do with my life (other than be a mom). Sometimes I think that is the only thing I can do…and many times I don't even think I can do that right. I am always trying to please everyone else and always compare myself to those around me. It is a lonely place to be!

  48. What a great reminder today! Thank you! I am currently recovering from a huge 'indiscretion' in my life (that came at a time when I thought I *was* following God). I am trying to figure out who I am and how God can use this mess I've made (which I know He absolutely can for His glory). I am finding that when I seek His heart, more of the heart He created in me is revealed to me.
    And I loved your tweet earlier this week about your boys going on your run with you! 🙂

  49. I was just thinking about this sort of thing yesterday. I feel like I have sort of put 'me' away and have forgotten the purpose I was put here for in God's eyes. Thank you for your insight. Blessings to you!
    Age 39, in VA

  50. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for this Devotion. I have always been so envious of those people who have a noticeable talent like, singing, art, writing etc. because when they are asked what they enjoy or what they would do if fear was no concern they can jump right to their answer. I have never been able to answer that question. There is nothing that I can say that I truely truely love to do besides be with family and sometimes I wonder if I really enjoy that or if that is something I say because other's say it? That is so sad I know. I need to do some searching and the fact that I am 31 scares me at times but now I feel like it is not to late. Thanks again. jessica_n_collins@yahoo.com

  51. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for putting into words what I have felt for DECADES. I am 54 years old and have always wished to be more of what I just….am not. I have been so mad at God for making me quiet, shy, introverted, a behind-the-scenes kind of person and have often wished I could be more outgoing, fun, and the leader everyone follows. But I simply am NOT that type of person. My good traits are that I am loyal, trustworthy, sweet, kind, and a very hard worker. I know I fit perfectly into the Body of Christ and just need to accept with my heart what I already know in my mind. I have confessed this sin many times and do so once again. With NEW resolve to praise Him for who He made me to be!
    Thank you for your honesty! saville1@bellsouth.net

  52. Anonymous says:

    I can relate to exactly what you said. As I go through life, who I am changes and is becoming clearer the older I get. When I worked, I was focused on my career, but now that I'm a mom, it has caused me to be focused on being focused on Christ first and letting Him lead me and just enjoying each day (our girls are 6 and 4) and seeing where He takes me in the future – I trust in Jeremiah 29:11 – "I know the plans I have for you . . ." danalawson1@yahoo.com from Chicago (age 37)

  53. Anonymous says:

    I am turning 49 in a few weeks, helping others has been what I do. Just last night my husband said "You can't make everything alright for everyone." I know that is God's territory, but yet in the business I do seem to carry burdens that arn't mine. And in that business, somehow I lost me. Thank you, I want, as you have, to serve Him in the way He created me to, instead of this whirlwind that keeps me off balance. Thank you. tburris@windstream.net

  54. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your wonderful, on-the-mark devotion! Like so many others, I too am constantly comparing and coming up short. I am 47, lost my mom when I was 13 and had an abusive dad. All of this formed me into a people pleaser. I need prayers and would love to be in the drawing for your book – cfrick1@nc.rr.com. I am reading a book right now – Good and Angry by Turansky and Miller – a wonderful book that explains how explosive parenting creates people pleasers – its really great – and I pray that its insights will help me be a better mommy to my HS 8yo daughter. God's blessings to everyone, you are in my prayers today.

  55. I was so excited when I received your devotion today. This has truly been a struggle in my life recently. I'm almost 26 but I struggle with the fact that my life isn't what I had dreamed it to be when I was 5! I am slowly learning to appreciate where God has me and find comfort in the desires He has placed in my heart. Thanks so much!!!


  56. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for the devotion. I have been pondering these thoughts for a while now. I am 47 years old, and in the midst of the search.

  57. Anonymous says:

    Thank you so much for this devotion today. I am 38 years old and live in a small town in Minnesota. I keep asking God what He has planned for me. While I am a wife, daughter, and mother of five great kids, I just can't help feeling that God has more in store for me… Thank you for the resources, I am definitely going to use them to help me in my search to find out why God put me on the great Earth of His! : ) I would love to be entered in the drawing, my e-mail address is: wendy_kresha@charter.net.

  58. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your devotional. This really spoke to me this morning. I have been going through some new challenges and have just realized that after 7 years of raising twins, being the best mom and wife I can be (along with many other hats), that I really have no idea what God has in store for me or what I am supposed to be doing.I have found that my best is never good enough for the people that surround me and that I only need to do my best for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The good news is I do know God has a plan for my life. But I have to admit I am scared of what that plan is. I do find comfort that His plan is perfect and He will be satisfied if I am obedient and He loves me always. I pray I will find the purpose for my life through Gods great Mercy and Grace. I will definitely have to find the time and materials you have suggested to start this journey. Thank you for your perfect timing.
    Kimberly Hill

  59. THANK YOU! God is speaking to me through you today. just last night I was discussing this exact topic with my husband, not knowing who I am or what I'm supposed to be. I never imagined myself at 32 with four kids 6 and under but God obviously thinks I can handle it?! You have given me the tools to start this journey of "finding myself" and God's purpose for me. I admit it's a little scary to start because I don't feel like I've ever been able to find myself in personality tests or spirtual gifts analysis because i always just barely fit into all categories (trying to be who I want me to be maybe?!). I now want to make time to try to figure this out to be who God wants me to be. Thank you for showing me it's possible, I felt like you had written just for me today!

  60. Oh my goodness Renee! You must have used me as our inspiration for this! My whole life I have always dones what I had to do, never what I wanted to do. It wasn't till recently that I started thinking about what I really wanted to do. But now I feel like I've waited so long that its too late for my dreams. I've been thinking alot lately to about where I serve in church. I seem to have my feet in so many different areas and now I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I know I need to pull back but I'm having trouble deciding where I really want to be.
    And a quick side note: A few years ago on our women's retreat our speaker took us through a personality test to help us determine our type.Through the course of it she describe the different types (the same ones you did) and then we scored ourselves based on different answers to questions. However at the end she explained that most of us all have at least 2 of those personality types in us. Then she went on to describe a certain patern it follows. Well, of course I didn't fit the pattern at all. And I still remember her words: "If your pattern is diagonal, then something is wrong, because it shouldn't be that way. It should be up and down or side to side". I laughed about it at the time, but I've never fogotten it.
    Anyway, thanks for the chance to win, I'd love to take time to figure myself out, and maybe I'll find out that there isn't something wrong with me after all.

  61. Anonymous says:
  62. Anonymous says:

    Do you have other books or resources you used to help you along this journey? At 37 I find that I've lost sight of what I enjoy doing and what preferences I have as I honor and care for my dh and two ds's. Any and all thoughts you have would be deeply appreciated.

  63. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the devotion today! It really hit home with me. I have been feeling this way for some time now and trying to figure out just what purpose God has for me and if I am even close to living my purpose. I look forward to reading these Proverbs 31 devotions everyday and I have to tell you that almost everyday when i read them I feel like God is speaking to me becuase in one form or another it completely relates to my life. You ladies are awesome and I appreciate you so much! God Bless you all!
    Amanda – 34 from Illinois

  64. Anonymous says:

    I subscribe to Crosswalk daily and after reading todays encouragement for women I was nearly in tears. This is so me! And I never realized it. I spend every day, stressed, busy, no time for me, no time to focus on what I need or who I am . . . I don't know. And yet I am somehow drawn here to your site and whamm! there it is. Added to this is the simple fact that I have started a journey back to Christ through some very special people in my life. I am participating in a weekly Bible Study and when I found Crosswalk I was thrilled . . . and now your site. What's next? I can't wait for the next ephifany in my daily life.

    I live in Hedgesville West Virginia and I am 42 – almost 43 yr young woman.

  65. Anonymous says:

    What great timing! This devotion and blog have really helped me to fully recognize that I should accept and love the woman God has created me to be. I just turned 23 years old and have done some pretty cool things in my life. However, I really have not found fulfillment as I would like. I believe that once I take this "journey to self-in-God" my life will be more fulfilling and meaningful!


  66. I love so many things about this post and about your devotion! One of my favorite lines from your devotions is this one:

    "It's not self-seeking but God-seeking to intentionally get to know and become the woman He created you to be."

    That is so good, Renee! I struggle with feeling self-seeking and selfish..but God WANTS me to become who He created me to be. And that is going to take asking Him who He wants me to be…it's going to take learning about me. I am bad to lean towards encouraging others and not letting Him encourage me about me. But I NEED His direction and encouragement. SO thanks for opening my eyes to see that I am not being self-seeking. 🙂

    And I love the line in your post about how we are to complete one another as women, not compete with one another. Soooooo good!

    Okay…I won't comment all day.
    Just thank you. Thank you so much for having a heart to encourage women to find who they are designed by God to be. To walk in all He has for them! I am 33 years old….and I am so ready to start living the life HE has for me. So ready!

    I love, love, love you, my friend!
    🙂 K
    (And thank you for the giveaway!!!!!)

  67. Anonymous says:

    I'm 35 years of age,never been married with a teen daugter 16 years old.I too am still searching for the answers to who I am in this world. We stay in a small flat and we have our ups & downs. Today's devotion pulled at my heart strings, because sometime ago my daugter wanted to know the same about herself. I wasn't very supportive cause I DON'T even know the real me, or who i am suppose to be.I don't have dreams, since my life became a routine.all my friends are married so i avoide going out with the team,being the odd one out.i avoid mingling with the parents of Charnè's friends cause i look very young for my age and feel like they ignore me in the company like I'm a kid and don't understand adult life. I seriously at myself and where i fit in, thanks so much. gerri

  68. Anonymous says:

    I'm 35 years of age,never been married with a teen daugter 16 years old.I too am still searching for the answers to who I am in this world. We stay in a small flat and we have our ups & downs. Today's devotion pulled at my heart strings, because sometime ago my daugter wanted to know the same about herself. I wasn't very supportive cause I DON'T even know the real me, or who i am suppose to be.I don't have dreams, since my life became a routine.all my friends are married so i avoide going out with the team,being the odd one out.i avoid mingling with the parents of Charnè's friends cause i look very young for my age and feel like they ignore me in the company like I'm a kid and don't understand adult life. I seriously at myself and where i fit in, thanks so much. gerri

  69. This devotion seems to be on a theme for me. I keep asking myself what I want to be when I grow up. I know I have unique gifts and passions to share. Unlike you, I know what I would do if I had unlimited funds, no doubts, no fears. It's a dream I've had for years and years. I just need to figure out how I can make that work for me considering I have no funds, fears, and doubts. My prayer is that God continues to nudge me with these devotions.

  70. I guess this is the way God wanted it to be. I didnot do my morning devotion this morning becasue I overslept and I said that I was going to read the devotions in my mail box as my only devotion until I got home. I got hit below the stomach by the question what will I like if all things being equal. I had to think on that for a minute but fear, anxiety will not let me see. Its so dark but the only things that I see in a flicker is mom and wife. I am 45years old single with no child. I have made somany mistakes that I understand God if never allows me to be either of this.Timies and times agian He brought me to the brink and I blew it off. Now I see myself as when He talks about giving the land rest for a while and going back to refarm it but if you don't He will drive us out and let the land rest(paraphrase). I am in this place with no friends and afraid to venture out. I turn people off with my actions but I don't mean to and as such I pretend that all is well on the outside. I don't have any dreams anymore becasue I don't know who I am or what I look like. I see myself in the mirrow but soon forget what I look like. I can't sit still for long for I am really busy yah? I am a joke

  71. Anonymous says:

    Hi Renee,
    I have been asking the Lord to show me why I am here. What is my purpose? I am 42 and my two children are now living many miles away. God spoke to me through your message (this is the first time I have ever clicked on your site through my "Crosswalk Encouragement For Today". Thank you for sharing the tools we need so that we can be complete!

  72. Anonymous says:

    I don't know what I want to do when I grow up either, and I'm 29 years old with 4 kids! I have never really known my strengths nor had a specific desire for any career. I can't seem to find anything that I really enjoy doing.
    I would call myself phlegmatic to a fault. "Peace and relaxation at nearly all costs."
    email Jen@dandelionwood.com

  73. Anonymous says:

    This came at the perfect time. I was just talking to my 14 year old daughter about her dreams for her future when I realized I still (at age 44) don't really know what I want to be "when I grow up". I work a FT job that I usually like, but sometimes I wonder if God doesn't want something more for me. I'd say the categories that best describe me are choleric and phlegmatic.

    Thank you for this post and the book references.

  74. Renee,
    Thanks for this timely message. I will be 52 in a few days and have been laid off for over a year. The only lifeline I have right now is my faith…can your book and cd be purchased in Christian Bookstores?
    I really need some support and would love to read this over the weekend! Thanks! Bobbi

  75. Renee, wow you have gotten quite the response from this devotion. It was wonderful and it looks like it was as much of an encouragement to be as it was to many other women. I am approaching the big 3-0 and feel exactly as you described. Thanks so much for sharing your heart.
    God Bless You,

  76. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for your devotional today. You put into words exactly the way I feel inside. I'm very happy that I've found this website! 🙂

  77. Thanks so much. At 51, i am still trying to figure this out. Looking forward to checking out the resources you mention.

  78. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for today's devotion. I'm almost 30 and I've been feeling totally discouraged lately. This was just what I needed to hear this morning.

    Stacy (NC)

  79. Anonymous says:

    Thank you so much for this devotion today that I got through Crosswalk. I felt like God was speaking to me today because, like all the other posts on here, I too struggle with finding my purpose in life and what it is God has in store for me. I'm 33 and a working mom but there are times when I want to quit my job and stay home with my 2 year old son but feel like I couldn't handle it. Currently my husband stays home with him and he works in the evenings when I come home from work. I've been struggling for years to find the right career or what it is that I'm passionate about to find a career in that. I am going to continue to pray for God's will and to show me the direction He wants me to go. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone in this topic, I'm not comfortable answering those questions about dreams because I do not know what I want to do. I'm going to keep on seeking God's direction.


  80. Thank you so much! I am a 36 year old married mom of three…I am a wife to a man in the military…I struggle so much with my identity…I am his wife, their mom, the dog's owner, a district empolyee…i have all these hats but yet find little joy…even in knowing what colors i like anymore..my mother said i liked red, so i like red – even though i really like blue. my husband tells me i will enjoy running. i hate it. my children tell me – well they are teenagers they tell me alot…and of course there is little recognition in being a Navy wife…i sit in the background, noone knows who i am, but he wears a uniform, gets saluted, wears medals…Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly proud of my family, I try and make sure eveyone is emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy…but as of late…i wonder who am i? what do i like? its as though everything has lost its flavor..Now it would be nice to have medals and a uniform identifying me and my worth, but i know that is just what is on the outside, i want more, i want to be the woman God has created and desires me to be…and that will be my new prayer…and the prayer for my daughters..that they not be lost in indecision of who they are, to be proud of the quirkiness they may behold and embrace the desires to do things out of the norm..as long as they are what God is leading them to do..to be a bridge to His light.

  81. Anonymous says:

    I'm 44 and also feel that I haven't quite discovered my purpose yet. Thanks for your devotional. I'm looking forward to following your blog.


  82. I am actually going through Temperament counseling with the NCCA. They have a fifth temperament that fits me. Supine. Ü But I would be between a malancholy and phlegmatic….Good thoughts for the day. It also helps to know who your spouse and children are. You can then attend to their needs as well….


  83. Thanks for this devotion. I am almost 39 and would love to know who I truly am in Christ.

  84. Anonymous says:

    I have been dealing with this for a while. About a year ago our pastor did a sermon on dreams – which hit home. I have been working toward determining them, and handing them over to God. But, I never looked back at myself…to see how God created me. I now have a new perspective, and – quite frankly- am now overwhelmed by more work that I need to do.
    It never stops, I do need to always seek, always work and always strive to be what God wants me to be.

  85. Thank you so much for posting this devotion. This put into words what I have been struggling with, and I too thought I was the only one. I am 40, work outside the home and have a 10 year old son and wonderful husband. Blessings to you from Oregon.


  86. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for your encouraging words.
    I need to ask God what he desires for me instead of listening to others. I'm on the right path.

  87. This is the unlock of the locks which the devil has put in different people's ways. But as the Bible says that ' I will go before you and brake the chains of bronze and show you the hidden treasures…' I believe the Lord is using you to bring a restoration in our lives. Am a new member who just found this site today and am blessed. Please I still need more of these and even other brethren feel free to help me with much more.
    Am Dan Ochola from Kenya.

  88. Very well said Renee! I think as women we do get caught up in competing with one another rather than lifing each other up. It's important to know who we are in Christ and listen for his calling on our life.
    Blessings to you!


  89. Anonymous says:

    I am 41 years old and still discovering each day different things about myself. I can only do this through allowing God to speak to me. It has taken me so long to allow Him to do this. However, I still feel like I have a long way to go and I am very interested in reading some of the books that you spoke of. Thank you for this devotion that opened my eyes and others eyes to the fact that we need to learn just who it is that God created us to be and stop comparing ourselves to others and changing to fit in.

    email address: sscole@ctc.net

  90. Anonymous says:

    Today's devotion was exactly what I needed to hear! It is what I've been dealing with for years! I am almost 48 and never went to college because of financial reasons and also because I didn't know what I wanted to do! This lack of college degree has always limited what job levels I've been able to land. I've tried many career paths, none of them were very successful. When I had children (in my 30's) everything was focused on them, my ideas were pushed aside. I love doing for others and never try to do what I really want for me. I know that God has much more in store for my life! I've prayed for years that He would open the doors so I could see the rich, fulfilling life He has in store for me. I'm going to buy the books referenced in the devotion and open my eyes and heart to His voice!

  91. As I was reading your devotional, it was almost as if I was reading it. I grew up in a home that was enmeshed, to use a technical counseling term. Basically, you weren't allowed freedom to be your own self and do your own things. So, growing up I was very confused as to who I was, who I wanted to be, what make me uniquely me, and why anyone would ever want to love me. I have learned a lot about this, partly through living and interacting with people, and partly through taking almost every personality test I have come across. My husband was also instrumental in this. Without sounding too sacrilegious, God would be the savior of my soul and my husband the savior of my heart. I have so much to be thankful for when it comes to both of them.
    I'm still trying to figure some of this out, especially since I am pregnant with my first and wondering how this will change everything, but I not longer feel as lost or confused about my purpose and who I am.
    Thank you for sharing!
    Age 29

  92. Anonymous says:

    Oh how well I can relate. I am from Memphis, TN at 39 years old and have become lost in trying to take care of everyone and everything in my life. I am almost drowning in the whirlpool of chaos of husband and parents.

    I truly need a copy of the book to help me discover the real me that I have been looking for since jr. high school too.

    Thank you for listening to my rambling.


  93. Anonymous says:

    Wow, yesterday I was wondering what I should do. I honestly feel as no one likes me. I know, that sounds so jr. high, but it is how I am feeling. I am a horribly lost 50 year old christian woman with no direction in my life at all. My husband and I recently moved to a town 1800 miles from my home, my family, my life. I miss my son, my grandaughter, mysister, my parents and on and on. I do visit, but when I do I almost feel out of place there too. I know God has a plan and purpose for my life, but I have no idea whatsoever what it could be.
    My husband and I are both disabled with many medical problems and as for me, that has defined me all of my adult life. But that's not who I am. I'm not just a transplant patient, I am … hummm… I don't know who!

    As I read the perosnality traits in the devotion this morning, I honestly didn't know which one, or two, or three, or even all four I fit into.

    It is time for me to find out who God made me to be. I am so looking forward to this journey of self discovery, just the possibility has given me a hope I didn't have before I read your devotion this morning. Thank you!

  94. Thank you so much for your devotions and post. I'm a recovering perfectionist, so I spent most of my life comparing myself to others. I'm finally starting to figure out what gifts/abilities God has given me (at age 44y.o). I was jealous of my husband who can witness and give the gospel message so effortlessly, and has brought many to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. I just recently realized that God would rather that I mentor people in their walk with Christ, and help them to grow. We each fill a very important and unique place in God's plan. Mentoring does not come easy to my husband, while for me it seems effortless.

    After that realization, I'm really trying to focus on what God's desires are for me. He has removed all responsibilities from me right now, and I'm learning what it means to "Be still and know that I AM God." Psalm 46:10.

    These last few days of P31 devotions have really been ministering to me, because there are days where I stumble and just want to give up.

    Thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable so the rest of us can grow.

    Love to all the girls @ P31.

  95. What a great post! I really like the quote about comparing our inside with someone else's outside. How true!
    I'm 36 from Charlotte, NC.

  96. I fit in all categories of the personality test! haha! I'm 30 and on the search for God's dreams for my life. mindikohake@hotmail.com

  97. This really hit home with me; especially since my husband and I have been out of work for over a year. What is God doing? is my constant question. I always described myself as a chameleon–whatever you want me to be, I will try to be that. This is not glorifying God and not helping me! I will dig deeper to find out who it is that God created! ME! clswalsh@gmail.com

  98. suzi.wollman says:

    Sweet Renee, what a joy to read your blog today! I used a similar idea to teach atheist kids from the USSR why they need God to be moral people. I asked them to tell me how long a pen was. After telling them, "No, I don't want to use centimeters or inches as my measurement" someone finally said "It is one unit long!" I responded "Great, now how long is this pen?" Showing them a pen of a different length, I tried to get them to see the uselessness of trying to compare the two pens when each was exactly one unit in length. Telling them that you have to measure something by something else outside the thing being measured, I was able to bridge into talking about how you can't measure human behavior by human behavior. You need something outside humans. That, of course, only works if there is a standard above human behavior. Once they had agreed to that, they could then see the need for God to be moral!

    Be blessed, dear sister!


    PS, I'm 56 and I guess I'm somewhere between a phlegmatic and a melancholy.

  99. Anonymous says:

    Being teased as a child has made me into a very self conscious adult. It is hard to love and believe in yourself when others break you down. Striving for perfection and approval from others is an exhauting and self-defeating task! However, knowing that God made me wonderfully complex gives me comfort and I pray that He will help me to be more accepting of my uniqueness. My email address is: bearmc2@netzero.com

  100. Anonymous says:

    I can't believe how many of us are out there-women in their 40's (I'm 45yrs) and are not sure of God's purpose for our lives. I so want to know mine. And I find it challenging to search for it while making dinner, looking over homework and other day-to-day activities. But I know that He has a purpose for me and I need to commit time to discovering it and all the wonderful gifts He's given me. I pray for all of us who are searching. Thank you for your devotion today!

    Erin in Geneva, IL

  101. Anonymous says:


    Thank you for being such a blessing to others. This devotional especially hit home with me. I think alot of us try so hard to please others that we don't take the time to understand and please ourselves. God is definately working in and through you.

    I am 57 and just now working hard to know the real me. I want to impress on all of your readers to pray and listen to God speak to your heart. Sometimes we don't take the time to really stop and be quiet and listen.

    Bless You!
    Bonnie @ bonni2001@aol.com

  102. Anonymous says:

    How timely your sharing about Who Are You. I am 65 years old and have been a mother since 16. After raising children, Through many difficulties we had to raise a couple of our grandchildren. Now my mom lives with us. She is 87. I have NO IDEA of who I am. Please give my some ideas of what I can read or study to help me have a life of my own before my time is over on this earth. I know God has had a plan for me and I probably missed it but would love to Bless Him with what He put in me. Thank you

  103. Anonymous says:

    I love what you said about how God created us to complete one another not compete!! I live in an area that is very competitive and it is very easy to get caught up in that. My hearts desire is to be a completer (is that even a real word : – ). Thank you for the devotion today! kslyby@yahoo.com from Ohio

  104. Yvonne - from Singapore says:

    This devotion seems coming at a wonderful time. I am going 39 in Oct, a mum of 3 young children (girl 12, boys 9 & 6), a cancer survivor since Jan 2006, completing all my treatments in Aug 2007, involve in church ministry, husband was retrenched months ago and am feeling anxious, burn-out. Who am I?? Have been pushing myself do my best, have been teaching, coaching my children on academics, on God, on loving one another like rushing as not sure how long I will be here. Always others mentioned I done a good job, taking care of family and helping others, am a super woman. I have not stop praying asking God to lead me, but am exhausted. I always try to please others, out of my way to help. I am more of chasing for perfect, excellence achievement.

  105. Anonymous says:

    I'm 35 years old and my husband has told me many times that he does not understand how I don't know what I want for myself. My life is full with a full time job at a church and 2 young daughters among other things and my days seem so busy that I can't imagine pursuing something that is as lofty as a "dream". At times his comment to me has been discouraging. Your devotional and blog today was very encouraging to me. As the years pass by I wondered if I would run out of time to define and go after my dreams (he has had many already). I think that if I were in the situation that you described (what you would do if finances and failure were not an issue) I would have responded the same way – not because that is what I wanted to do but because I couldn't answer any differently. Thank you for sharing your story as it has really spoken to me today.

  106. Anonymous says:

    It is amazing to me how God brings just the right sermon, or just the right devotional, or discussion with someone that I need at the moment! I pray that God will direct me to be the person He wants me to be – more Christ-like for sure – but to stop trying to please the world and please Him which will ultimately give me the peace I have been seeaking.

    Thank you for sharing your story.


  107. Anonymous says:

    I read your devotion on Crosswalks today. I am 55 and feel like I don't know what my talents are and direction would be. I have been doing what I am suppose to be doing at home. I am married and work full-time. My mother-in-law lives with us and is handicapped. I am not sure what my God given talents are but would love to know what God has given me to do. Thank you.

  108. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for your post today. I was just talking to my aunt a couple of weeks ago and telling her that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. For the last 13 years I have been a pastor's wife and 9 of those I have been a mother. My youngest child is now going off to kindergarten this fall and I am trying to figure out what I can do with my "free time". For so long I have been the support for my husband and care taker of our 3 kids. I feel that I have lost myself in church life and being a wife and mom. It seemed so selfish to ask what I wanted to do and be when I have others depending on me. I felt that I was just in the place I needed to be at this time. Now that I am starting to have some "free time", it is time for me to start to look at what I was created to do. Thanks for pointing out that God created us to be unique.

    Shannon age 34

  109. Anonymous says:

    I am 63 and still trying to figure it all out. I know God made me to be more than I am but somehow I feel as though I have missed all that He had for me.

    Your devotion this morning has made me really sit up and take notice and it also brought tears and prayer. So where do I start? Any suggestions?

  110. Anonymous says:

    This is timely for me today as well! I am 52, and I have set aside this month to pray, study & hopefully figure out a little better who I am, and what my gifts are, and how I can make my life count. Thanks for the encouragement!


  111. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for today's devotional. I am 50, and even though I feel like my life has been productive, I want to be everything God wants me to be. I know that my marriage and my job are in God's will, but I want to do more for Him.

    I am going to get those books and prayerfully find out what God wants me to be.

  112. Looking at the personality types, I do not know where I line up. And truthfully, I have always hated that question, what do you like to do? I don't know, it depends on the day, my mood, with who, etc..

    Just 2 nights ago I was in tears saying to my husband, I don't know what God wants me to do. Our fairly new church is moving locations and change is on the horizon. Others are talking about how they feel led to do this or that ministry. I felt like a failure not having any clue. I had to remind myself that although I do not know yet, it is God who has called me. He has a place for me, somewhere. Thank you for this devotion, I know God is speaking to me through it.

    shrrybaby3@yahoo.com I am 27 years old

  113. ConnieH says:

    Thanks for your openess and honesty Renee. I could completely relate from the first word of this devotional. You always make me realize I am not the only one who has ever felt this way. And reading other people's comments brought tears to my eyes, knowing that you have truly discovered what God has planned for you to do. Thank you for sharing. You touch many people's lives.

    I have searched to find who I am, but truly, I will think I've got it figured out a bit, but always seem to go back to doing what everyone else needs me to do and being who everyone else needs me to be.

    Life is a journey. It's such a blessing to have a loving God and good friends along the way.

    Oh, by the way, I'm 41.

  114. This bring to mind what I am currently struggling with – my path. Although I believe God placed me where I am now (working at a church), my husband has been laid off and a financial crisis is pending. Praying for guidance on whether I need to search for a job away from the church to help provide for our household… beachml@gmail.com

  115. I've been a stay at home "working" mom now for almost two years. I am 32 (from California) and I have two girls, ages 2 and 3 1/2. I taught public school then began my own home daycare so that I could stay with my girls. I figured, if they have to be in daycare, I want them in my daycare. I have been so busy with raising children, I feel like I've lost who I was in the process. All I think about are the children and my husband. I know it is a season in my life…but I miss using my other talents and abilities, too. I would not trade being home with my girls for ANYTHING! I just wish I had some sort of outlet.


  116. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your devotion today. Through P31 I am continually amazed to see how many other women feel just like me. I am 35 and I cannot answer those questions either. I don't have any dreams, and that has frustrated me for some time. I have always been one to put my needs and wants aside for the sake of others. Just as you said…my soul has shut down. None of this truly hit me until I read your devotion this morning. Thank you for sharing that there is hope and how to go about making changes. I am so anxious and excited to find His purpose for me as well as my dreams!!!

    Blessings to you!!

  117. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for your devotion today. I am 36 and totally identify with the struggle to know who I really am and God's dreams for my life. I struggle with being a people-pleaser, too. It's nice to see other people's posts and know that others struggle with this, too! Amy from San Jose, CA a_rodriguez17@yahoo.com

  118. I, too, am still searching at 49. I believe we are to keep searching. Sometimes I feel I have shallow dreams and desires, but maybe in the end God will use them to help others.

  119. Anonymous says:

    I am 32 years and realised that I really hate my job and I have been browsing the internet trying to find what can I do to do a fulfilling job I came to a stage where I have to find my personally then its there I will know what I’m meant to be.

  120. Anonymous says:

    Hi Renee,
    What a great topic. At 45 I still wonder at who I am. I don't know what my dreams are. I,too, had been so busy filling everyone's needs that I got lost. Well since a teenager, I have been doing for everyone else. Never taking the time to look inside of me and who I am. Thanks for the encouragement to do just that. The book looks great. Beth A. jeffandbeth82@hotmail.com

  121. Anonymous says:

    I too wonder who I am, but I desire more to know who God wants me to be? I run and run and run, to take care of the kids the house, my family and friends, and I can't really just quit. But I need something for me, not selfishly but God seeking. I began putting my husband first then my kids, and my mom needs help (she has been there a millon times to help me)and others that need help from time to time. But after a while, you lose who you are, what your doing. I want to please God, I know that if I follow his path that my life will be better than if I follow my own path. But I often feel like I would be taking away from others if I do what I want or feel that I should do. It feels like I am being selfish, but actually I am seeking God and his way. But when I am in the middle of a busy day or chaos at home I don't recognise those subtle signs that God gives me. I need to work on that, as well finding me in the middle of my own life. But I wonder if the process of defining yourself is a lifelong journey, because we are constantly changing, and our lives are changing. The kids are babies,then school-age, teenagers, young adults, then we get to be grandparents. As if this was not enough we add growth in a marriage, job changes, house changes, character changes, parents aging, loved ones coming into and out of our lives. And all the while we are trying to seek God's will, his approval, his voice in our life. No wonder I am tired. 🙂 But that is when I get to rest in his comfort the most, when I am too tired or confused to do it anymore and he carries me thru, time and time again. I love our Lord and I am thankful that someone loved me enough to share him with me. Good luck to all in this journey.

    Thank you, P31 for your daily devotionals, sometimes it is literally God's words to my heart.

  122. Anonymous says:

    Obviously this has hit a nerve with so many of us! I am so thankful that it is not just me who struggles with this. I am 48, and keep wondering what my gifts are, if I even have any! I work full-time, have two teen-age boys, and just try to please everyone. Then I wonder what is wrong with me that I'm not more happy! Thank you for your words of hope and encouragement.

  123. Debbie Thorkildsen says:

    I enjoy learning about personalities. It helps me understand others and myself better.

  124. Anonymous says:

    Dear Renee,
    I too clicked on your site after reading the devotional. After reading all the comments I too wanted to share my story. First, it was so encouraging to see women who are around my age wondering who they are. I am 55 y.o. and the oldest of 10. I have always been the one my parents depended on and as a result became a people please because helping my mother out made me feel good about myself. Unfortunately, in doing so I let myself go and really had no close friends growing up, I was heavy, shy, a dork really and very afraid to talk to anyone. I have never been happy with ME and at times cried out to God why He created someone like me, which I now know was wrong. I've been married almost 32 years, have 3 grown children and 2 grandsons yet I feel like I have to do things to get anyone to like being around me. Even my marriage suffers because I can't let go and believe my husband truly loves me. That is why I had to make a comment. I am feeling that way big time this morning and I read the devotional and clicked on your site and read the comments and thought God is trying to tell me something. I don't know who I am, what I like. I can never make a decision for fear I will upset someone. Something as simple as picking out a movie terrifies me that my husband may not want to see it so I am always playing the "what do you want to do" game. I know I need help. I want to know me before it's too late. Thank you for your sharing this morning. Pray for me that I can truly know who I am in God's eyes, not the worlds.


  125. I'm a 41 yr old wife and Mom of two great kids, ages 3 and 13, what a relief to know I'm not the only one still searching for who and what God wants me to be. My personality falls within the choleric and sanguine. Cant wait to read and find out more about me!

  126. Anonymous says:

    Thanks so much for your devotion and blog. I know the Lord wanted me to read it today because it goes right along with the book I'm reading, "The Dream Giver," by Bruce Wilkinson.

    The Lord has showed me that I've let fear keep me from the Dream that He has for me.

    Thank you for reminding me to ask God what HIS Dream is for me. He truly wants to show each of us what Dream He's prepared in advance for us!

    I'm 48 and have just started asking God this question. It's so good to know there are other women out there who are my age and are going through the same thing.

    Thanks again!

  127. Anonymous says:

    It's encouraging to me to see so many others experiencing the same issues….although I admit I'm a bit afraid to find out who the real me is. God has definitely been trying to get my attention in this area, but I'm in a state of denial, I guess….Thank you and keep on doing what you're doing!!

  128. Anonymous says:

    I am 46 yrs old and i have been struggling for so long and i am realizing that when i read how we compare our insides w/ somone's outside it seems hopeless and they seem happier. Well, i have been asking God to show me a new way and a new life that i have been searching- i have been dealing w/ depression for forever and i am so tired of feeling down. i want to enjoy my life w/ my 3 children and 1 granddaughter who unexpectedly join our family. So i am "crying" out to God to rescue me and that i can enjoy life to the fullest as God has meant it for me as a christian.

  129. This is amazing! I have been in counseling for the last couple of years battling panic and agoraphobia. One of the biggest things we have worked on is just this…… finding out the woman I want to be, my interests, a passion. I have spent my life being who I thought everyone else thought I should be. I am 55 years old, retired from the school system and currently working from my home. Everytime I even approach this subject, which is almost daily, I draw a complete blank. I pray daily for God to lead me in the direction I should go. In reading the four personality types….. I am definitely all of them! I suppose if I had to pick two they would be Sanguine and Choleric. This is huge for me right now. I am still praying.

  130. Anonymous says:

    My name is Trish, and I am 30. Thank you so much for your blog. I have been struggling for the last year and a half to discover who I am and to break free from the life-long struggle of being oppressed & depressed by my abusive family & childhood. The Proverbs 31 email devotionals and blogs have really opened my eyes and my heart to healing and to a new way of life. I thank God for them.

  131. Wow, what a great post! I think I might just have to get this book to explore my personality type further!

    Thanks for a wonderful and encouraging post, Renee!

    Prayers and blessings,
    34 years old

  132. I am a very mixed personality. I find I want peace but I also want control. This has served me well as a pastor's wife in a small church I am often looked to to take charge of things. But I find that as I get older, I would like someone else to take over. God has taken a quiet, shy, woman and thrust her into the frontlines for His kingdom. I pray I am up to the task. Best wishes for all of you gals at the conference. I live in northeast PA and am unable to attend at this time.


  133. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for this devotion. At 41, I also wonder what plan God has for me. I am a people pleaser also. But, I am seeing less tendencies of this behavior as I get older. This devotion will make me more aware of the choices I will make for ME and MY plan.


  134. Anonymous says:

    I am 52, and retired last Feb. I am not sure what I should be doing. I dont know what Gods plan is for my life. I question every thing I do. I also regret retiring at times. I am praying for God to reveal to me a plan He has for my life.

  135. Anonymous says:

    I am in my 30's and have been seeking God's path for me, for a very long time. I seem to get distracted by life and so busy that I just keep getting things done with out time spent realizing who I am or why I am doing them. Maybe it is time I slow down for myself as well as my family.

    Thank you P31

  136. very insightful and eye opener ideas. have been challenged to find my personality.
    country: Kenya

  137. Anonymous says:

    It is so nice to see that I am not the only one that feels this way. I am a 40 yr old mother of 2 and I am still searching for God's plan for my life. I am so grateful for this devotion, because it makes me realize that I must pray harder on this issue. If we sit, God will speak….thank you so much!!! 🙂


  138. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for your honesty. I love to read your devotions. They always seem to come "just at the right time". I am 39, to be 40 this month and am a middle child. I have always wrestled with where I fit in. I am a pastors wife and try to 'be all to all' and am exhausted trying. God is so good though and He constantly woos me back to Him and His values for me.
    Thanks for your sweet spirit of understanding where we are at. Blessings today.

  139. This devotional really hits home with me. I struggled for 35 years to please everyone but myself and God. At that time I finally understood my worth as a child of God and my life has been so much better. However, even now at 54yo I am having thoughts about what God wants me to do with the rest of my life. I am definitely at a crossroads and your devotional is the catalyst I need to figure out what to do next. Thank you for being so willing to share your journey. God bless you!
    Betsy from Garner, NC

  140. Anonymous says:

    Hi, I'm Valerie Rogers & LOVE the topic for today! I have struggled my entire life with the question, "What's wrong with me?" & it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that there was nothing wrong with me–I am exactly who God made me…extremely liberating! For years, I lived in a constant state of fear, but through the prayers & encouragement of my parents & friends, God has done an awesome work in my life!
    When I was a little girl, I had all these big dreams, but I lost that somewhere along the way. Fear is such a horrible thing; not only does it paralyze you, but it steals your dreams. I lived in fear because I did not know who I was in Jesus, and now that I know who I am, I find that my dreams are getting bigger & bigger. I can't wait 2 c what He's going to do next in my life.

    Saints, since we have to live on this Earth & go through all of the trials & tribulations that come along with living a life that is set apart for God, then we might as well have a little fun while we're here-(My Life's Motto…feel free to use it for yourself!)

    Your Sister-In-Christ,
    Valerie F. Rogers

  141. Anonymous says:

    Thanks Renee

    I'm 50yrs old married and have two adult sons. I know that when I look at others, I do not want to be like them or walk a mile in their shoes. I know what the Lord has brought me through and the only one I want to be more like is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Having said that,I am not sure what my passion is, I seem to like doing most everything I guess that's ok and I'm not sure about my personality either. I don't believe it's only one but maybe several. I'll ask others who are close to me to tell me what they see. Sometimes I cannot see the forest for the trees so to speak. I am working outside the home and love my job, however it's nothing that I can "move up the career ladder", just feel sometimes like I'm at a dead end, then other times I'm happy just working, it's like a hobby. (go figure)I also love being a home, their is always something to do so if I were laid off,it wouldn't hurt my feelings. I guess I sound weird. Love in Christ.

  142. Anonymous says:

    Hi – I am 43 and feel just like many of the other women here. I feel like I have to remind myself that I am an "grown – up" and I have the right to make decisions, have opinions and have desires. I always seem to feel guilty when I do stand up for myself. I hide behind my obsession with weight and dieting. I feel like I am stuck on a hamster's wheel – and cannot get off.

    It is so awesome when God brings you just what you need to get you back on track.


  143. Anonymous says:

    This was really good. I am 31, been married for almost 4 yrs and do not have children yet. I recently left a well paying job of 9 yrs to pursue something different and hoping that God will bless us with children and I can be a stay at home mom… but in the meantime, I have plenty of time on my hands to seek after God and what He wants for me…I don't really know the real me at all…I have no idea what my gifts & talents are…so I am praying that this will be a time that GOd uses to speak to my heart & give me passion for my purpose in life. I want to hear "well done , good & faithful servant" how can I hear that if I don't even know what I'm supposed to do? So thank you for this devotion today, it encouraged me to seek God to show me who I am & why I was created. God bless. …sulls@verizon.net

  144. Anonymous says:

    It has been so eye-opening to read some of these comments. I thought I was the only one feeling 'lost' and without purpose. I am 39 years old and just had a baby. I also have a seven year old son and none of my friends are in the 'baby stage' anymore. I am struggling daily with comparing my life to that of those around me. I have been praying for God to give me the peace that surpasses all understanding so that I can be content in any circumstance and live out God's will for my life. Thank you so much for your message today. It reminds me that we, as women, need to build eachother up rather than competing with eachother (even if it's just in our heads). It has really inspired me to investigate who I am and what God's purpose is for me!

  145. Anonymous says:

    I loved your devotion. I feel like it speaks directly to me. I just had this conversation with a friend of mine about how I have worried for so long on how to please others, I have neglected my own real interests all along and feel like I am missing what God wants to do in my life.

    This was one of those perfectly timed messages for me, I love it when HE does that!

    I a 32 year old mother of 2.

  146. Anonymous says:

    Wow!! Can you be all 4? I don't know who I am and I am 53. I am a mom and a friend but that is about as far as I get. I talk to God all the time and pray a lot to try and see what my purpose and direction is from God. For many years I was a mom, wife, best friend, co-worker — then my spouse had an affair and did not want to even attempt to work it out. It has taken 5 years to get past that. I had such a hard time because I felt like I had lost my purpose – I felt like I had lost my family – which in essence I had; not too mention my mom had passed suddenly 2 years prior to that so it was really a melt down. I am better today, thank you God, because of the awesome people he has placed in my life but I still have a long way to go. Thank you so much for sharing.

  147. Anonymous says:

    Wow! God meets us right where we are. I am 51, married and have a 15 year old son. I have been a stay at home mother since he was born. We have done a great deal of moving, which causes constant change….locate a new church home, new friends and find where I fit into God's plan in this new place. It is a struggle and as I become older I feel a bit of panic and pressure to get "underway" with what God wants me to do and be. I always feel His calm reassurance to stay focused on growing up my son into a Godly man and encouraging those around me, but sometimes I just feel there should be more. Reading this post has comforted me to know I am not alone! Thank you and God Bless.

  148. Anonymous says:

    I'm 32 and have been feeling badly that I don't know who I am or what I'm about or what God wants me to do with my life. I thought I was a little old to still be struggling with knowing myself. It's helpful knowing I am not the only one in the world feeling a bit lost at 32. I guess I still have time to figure it out.

  149. Anonymous says:

    WOW!!!!! Once again my Proverbs 31Daily Devotion has hit the nail on the head! So many new stresses have reared their ugly heads in my life that I am totally lost, frustrated, and wondering if "this is all there is" to life!!! I realize that what is missing is the ME that God created! I know what some of my passions are, but don't seem to have time to pursue them. In that, I've lost my deep, peace-filled connection with God and all those I love. I go through the motions of life without really living it! This devotion has made me realize that in order to truly love those around me and live each moment in a way that honors God, I must first truly know and love the wonderful ME God created! I'm going to purchase the book, PERSONALITY PLUS, so I can learn who God created me to be. And most of all LOVE the woman He created me to be!!! I pray that God will open my heart and soul to His guidance as I begin this journey. I'm 53, but maybe it's not too late to teach this 'old dog' a new trick or two! 🙂

  150. Anonymous says:

    At 51 years of age I feel like I have wasted so much of my life comparing myself to others, and looking over the fence at those who "seemed" to have it all together. I would love to have that time back so I could be satisified with myself. But the wonderful thing is I can begin now, with God's help, to become that woman God wants me to be, and that means knowing I am not perfect, but being satisfied with God's handiwork in me. My likes and dislikes, my talents and gifts. Seeking His face and finishing the journey He has set before me. How exciting!

  151. Anonymous says:

    I am 54 years old and still don't know what my purpose is. It seems to be to continue taking care of my grown son and my two grandchildren. I really feel I was put here to do more than that, I am praying that God leads me to what he wants in my life

    Debbie, Benton Arkansas

  152. Anonymous says:

    I cried when I read your devotion this morning and then went to your blog and felt more perplexed. Your devotion was the second one I read this morning that spoke about who am I and what does God want for my life.
    More strange to me is that I have given up on doing anything but taking care of my children…one with a genetic disorder and needing 24/7 care (we have been praying and trying for yrs to find help but no one has worked out) and one of my daughters has been fighting cancer for over 3 yrs so I have been by her side more time than not. My oldest daughter and her husband moved in to help take care on her brother and sister making our home more crowded and stressed although I don't know how my husband and I would manage without them.
    Last year I was hired for a job that was my 'dream' job and though it was part time I had to give it up because of the time needed to take care of my children. I cried for days and asked God why He allowed me to get hired to do something that I was passionate about only to lose it. I stopped dreaming of doing that kind of work and thought that taking care on my children is all He wants me to do.
    But I hate my life. I adore my children and I am blessed that I can take care of them and that they are not put in facilities that would not provide that care my husband, daughter and I provide for them. However, there are time when I am around people that are complaining about their jobs and needing a vacation and searching for a different job that I well up in tears and wonder why I still have such a strong desire to have a job. I have prayed that God will give me peace about not have a job and that I can feel better about staying home and taking care of my children.
    Then as I read my devotions 2-3 days ago I felt God was speaking to me confirming that He would use my education for His good. Then I read the 2 devotions today. Now I am bewildered. I want to be excited but I am afraid of disappointment. I couldn't answer the question about the kind of person I am, I don't know anymore. I am praying that this is not a cruel experience like I had last summer and than God will reveal His will for me.

  153. Anonymous says:

    Reading this devotional at this point in my 51 years of life reminds me that God is always doing something new and fresh in our lives; yet we somehow want to hold on to the comfortable things. I am searching for the what's next in who I am God even though I am transitioning from all my responsibilities to others to now it's your turn. My question is God where am I supposed to go next because I can not see it clearly and who am I at this point. (aliceingeorgialand@yahoo.com)

  154. Anonymous says:

    Interesting that many of the comments are from people over 40! I am 48. I have struggled with comparing myself as a mother and professional with other women in the church. A life long friend recently told me that I need to find out who I am and what God wants for me. This devotion was very encouraging!

  155. I love that quote (comparing our insides to their outsides). I so need to be reminded of that — especially with She Speaks coming up. I am not like I used to be, and I wonder what my personality is now — what God has planned for me now (at 36).

    I'm looking forward to seeing you again at She Speaks though I'll be hiding in the back corner — gotta be a back-row Baptist thing 😉

  156. Anonymous says:

    I am 34, a mother of 3, work part-time in the medical field, and I still don't know who I am. I fit parts of all 4 personalities. I feel I spend most of my time being who everyone else needs me to be. And I'm constantly comparing myself to others. I would love to know God's purpose for me. Maybe I'm already living it, I don't know. Thanks for your encouragement!

  157. Thank you for your insight. At 53 years old now, I missed out on many years of my "journey" stranded in an abusive and oppressive marriage. Thank goodness the Lord brought me out and I have been able to move forward. I have even married again, to a wonderful Godly man, who encourages me everyday to be myself. Now, if I could just figure out exactly who that is, I would be thrilled! God is working in me and I am looking forward with anticipation as to how He is going to use me. Your devotional was perfectly timed. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

  158. Anonymous says:

    Our God is such a Mighty Gracious God who gives us just what we need when we need it. One of my sisters at church and I were talking last night at Vacation Bible School about this very topic…how we compare ourselves to others as we grow up and see what looks to be so perfect on the outside, but, as we all know, is not so perfect on the inside. We talked about how we all have our imperfections and struggle to be who God wants us to be. She is one of our youth leaders and has given the lyrics to Jonny Diaz's song "A More Beautiful You" to all our youth girls. A very meaningful song to remind us that God made us, He has a purpose for us just the way we are – not the way society says we should be.

    Thank you so much for the post on P31 and the message here as well. There are many of us who struggle with this issue. I know at 49, I am still looking for God's wonderful guidance each and every day!

    binyon306 at comcast dot net

  159. Anonymous says:

    How did you know? This is exactly what I am going through and have been going through most of my life. I am 44 and lost my husband 3 years ago. He left me with 2 wonderful boys, now 14 & 11. I didn't know who I was after he died. I was always Mrs.? or the boys mom. To make a long story short, I got remarried to a wonderful christian man. I believe God brought him to me. I wasn't looking for another husband. I was okay on my own but God had more for me. I started to see myself as me but I still compare myself with others. I feel like I am not doing enough for God. I know "works" don't get me to heaven but I want to do more for Him. I see all the things others are doing and think I am not even close. Your message has made me realize I need to first and foremost please God. I need to be in His word everyday so that I will not listen to what the world tells me. I always knew I was different but in my eyes, not in a good way. So thank you for reminding me that God made each of us uniquely different. It is all part of His plan, not ours. I love all the comments too. I can relate to each one of them and that I am not alone in this.

  160. Anonymous says:

    Reading your article this morning and then going straight to your blog is so timing for me. I am on a journey right now to know God's purpose and plan for my life. It is amazing how many women and men do not know their purpose in life. I am determined to seek God like never before and I expect him to speak to me and reveal not only my purpose, but my children's purpose in life. Thank you for this "timely" devotion. I would also be interesed in knowing the title of those books.

  161. Anonymous says:

    I read this devotion just at the right time. I am 52, and still searching for God's purpose in my life. My biggest problem is always feeling that I don't measure up to what God wants me to be. I am praying for contentment and peace with who I am in Christ.

  162. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion. I'm 42 and also at a crossroads. I would LOVE to have the workbook and CD. I know God wants me to do something…

  163. Anonymous says:

    Sorry…forgot the email address:
    hopefulmom7 at hotmail dot com

  164. Beautifully said, thank you! Just yesterday my husband and I were talking about the falsehood of glorifying self sacrifice by way of neglecting who we are, what we can handle, what makes us, us. I see it everywhere in Christians, it is so prevalent. It's like we think as soon as Christ lives within us, we can "take" anything the world has to throw at us; but, like my husband said, we can bear it for the glory of Christ and rarely was it for the glory of Christ. In all honesty, it was out of fear of making people feel bad, or fear of setting boundaries, or fear of pushing people away from God. Such self absorption! But, God put a piece of Him in all of us and in following Him we can be more in touch with that essence that needs guarding more than anything, for it truly is the well spring of life.

  165. Anonymous says:

    How do you know which came first? The description that fits who I am now, is it the same description that fit me before life threw at me everything, and then some? Or have I become a different person, and need to find the old me underneath everything? I read articles on how to nurture yourself, but wonder if I am nurturing a fake me, a me that is just desperate to get through each day.


  166. Anonymous says:

    Thank you Renee…I can relate and Thank you to all who have stepped out and posted and will post, it is nice to know that I am not alone!

    I was recently asked "What are your dreams?" Huh?? I don't have a dream..at one time, it was marriage and children, but I am 41, divorced and no children. I have skills and abilities that God gave me and I love using them to Serve others, but I don't have a dream..that I know of. I want what God has planned for me..I am going through seasons, for 10 yrs I knew where I belonged, then things changed, now I ask "What am I suppose to be doing and What is my purpose?" Today, I feel that I can find out "What is His dream for my life?"

    Please enter me in the drawing…I am PEACE w/parts of FUN, CONTROL, PERFECTION, too.

    God Bless and Ride Safe..
    Sunshine 🙂

  167. Anonymous says:

    Your words describe me to a T. I'm 43 with two wonderful children, 23 & 20 and wonderful husband of 25 years. I have always been a "pleaser" so I don't know who I am…or what I would like to do if I could do anything. Instead I go to work everyday, completely unfulfilled, feeling like I don't serve a purpose other than to bring home a paycheck, but feel guilty for feeling this way because in the big picture I am very blessed compared to many others. I hope to read your book so I can begin the journey of finding out who I am and what God's purpose is for me. ceddins965@yahoo.com Thank you!

  168. Good morning Renee…. God's timing and faithfulness is so good. Funny… I've been lost and missing the who I was when I was younger. Not really sure of what my purpose is… feeling discouraged in the mommy-wife-homemaker role. Feeling like I'm not doing anything well in any of the roles. I miss the "strong" person I was when I was younger, very much faith-based at that time. Please understand, I do love being a mom and wife… just not feeling like I'm doing a very good job or setting a good example of my faith. I am going to pray more about this. Thanks for being faithful and writing about what He wants you to write about!
    God Bless!
    44, currently living in WA

  169. I am awestruck at the multitude of comments your devotion encouraged this morning. Not surprised, mind you, because I could see my own life reflected in the messages from almost every single response. At nearly 50, I find myself on a crossroads once again-this time, to accept the challenge the Lord has placed before me of going back to school to complete my degree so that I can become a teacher of Family and Consumer Studies, a discipline often overlooked when tallying up the value of education. I know without a doubt that this is what God has intended for me-it is a beautiful fit with the experiences of my entire life, but especially with what I've been doing the past ten years. He has been preparing me well to be equipped for this next leg of my life journey, and I am ready to begin. Does that mean it's easy? No-obstacles come in every shape and size. and often the obstacle in the path is the one I see in the mirror.

    As a choleric personality (I really hate it when these traits are out of control-ironic, huh?), I struggle most often with the need to be part of the discussion, to be heard. Yet, when I think of Father God, He already knows all that I would say, all that I need, and what I need to do is to trust His plan for me, to relax in the promise that He knows my future, and has plans for a hope for me. The need for control vs. the need and desire for God…a daily struggle. My prayer is that He wins more often and that my desire for Him becomes the controlling influence of my life-every day.

    Thank you,


  170. I am 27 and the Lord has been working on me for a few months about my calling and purpose in life. I am aware of my spiritual gifts and the desires He has placed in my heart, but I don’t know what the next step is to discover His perfect will for my life. I am thankful for the process and know that as long as I seek Him, He will show me the way. Thank you for allowing God to use you for His glory.

    Blessings, Candace


  171. Anonymous says:

    Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I find it funny that as a recent empty nester at 48, I too have struggled for some time with just what God's plan for my life is really. I'm not the only one who's asking these questions during my mid-life years!

    I have many strengths and passions that are not being used to their fullest potential. I want to wake up each morning excited about my day and serving the Lord. I'm not doing that right now. I'm encouraged by the daily devotions. It seems each one speaks to me. Thank you for encouraging other women!

  172. Anonymous says:

    As I was reading through the posts, I was very touched by how many women feel so out of touch with who they are. I also felt led to share my story in the hope that someone else could get encouragement from it. I married when I was 18 years old and have 4 children. My oldest is married and my youngest starts Kindergarden this year. I have always tried to be the perfect daughter, wife, mother, and friend. About two years ago, I woke up and realized that I felt nothing. I thought I was depressed and then I realized that I was really just unhappy. I was overweight and overwhelmed. I just started losing weight, and then I started examining myself. I realized that I didn't know what I liked to do, I didn't know what my favorite color is, or even my favorite food. I decided that I needed to find myself. I unfortunately didn't think too much about finding myself in God, because I thought I was ok there. I was a believer, after all. As a result, I find myself at 41, going through a divorce, and just starting my search for God's will in my life. I will be praying for all of the women out there who feel like they don't know God's plan for their life. And I encourage all of you to find out who you are and what God's plan is for your life. I have learned a lot of great things about myself and my place in God's plan. I am not sure if my marriage could have been saved if I had focused on God more at the beginning of my search, but I do know that even in these circumstances, I am more at peace than I have ever been now that I am looking to God for my selfworth and direction. Anyway, just remember to keep God first in your search.

    Blessings to all.

  173. Anonymous says:

    wow, I am 53 with my youngest starting his senior year of high school and I wonder what it will be like with an empty nest. My husband and I will celebrate 23 years this October. I have a home business and am excited to see where it goes..
    thanks so much for this

  174. Thank you Renee! I love reading all the comments to your devotion also as it lets me know I am not the only one who hasn't figured it out yet. That, itself is comforting knowing that I am not even alone in my "aloneness".
    I am so looking forward to growing and discovering. I did the "strengthfinder 2.0" assessment test to find my top 5 strengths and am using that as a guide also… along with prayer and searching scripture. I have always enjoyed writing… and I was gifted with "the gift of gab" so public speaking just seemed to follow that gift. Can't wait to get to She Speaks!!! Whoo HooO
    Blessings and Gratitude!

  175. Anonymous says:

    This devotion was just what I needed. I am 32 years old and I went back to college last year, but that was only part of discovering me. I am at least two of the personalities that was described. However, my problem is sometimes the combination of the two causes problems in my marriage. I think that could be becasue I still do not truly understand who I am and what God's purpose and plans are for me. I think the book that was recommended is something I need to read. As stated in a previous message, it really is nice to know I am not the only woman who feels this way. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Faith (reece957@yahoo.com)

  176. Anonymous says:

    Thanks so much for your devotional this morning. It has been so encouraging to know I am not the only 55 yo woman to wonder where my passion lies. I, too, struggle so much with comparisons. I was beginning to wonder if it was depression or something else wrong with me. I do plan on reading the books and doing the studies you reference. Thank you for your ministry.

    Linda from Nashville, TN

  177. I am 45 and from NE. I can't answer your questions. I still don't know who I am. I know what I like, but my DH doesn't like that I am a creative person, so I am constantly trying to be something else and I don't know who I am.

    It seems I've never felt like I was good enough at anything or worthy enough to have anything nice. I feel like I'm always "settling for". I wrote down your information of books to read. I would like to purchase them, but I probably won't because then I feel guilty for spending money for myself.

    Please pray for me as I struggle with this every day.

  178. Anonymous says:

    Wow, there are a whole lot of us out there!! I am so glad to know that I am not the only one, at age 46, who doesn't know her calling and is searching but doesn't know where to start! God knows all things and He knew you needed to have this ministry for those of us in the same boat. Thank you so much for your obedience to Him. May God show His favour in every area of your life! Anita – aholden@va.metrocast.net

  179. Good morning! You described me to a T this morning. I am a 32 year old wife and mother of 2. I work full time, but I feel like I am just coasting along. I work as an Admin Asst for the aging and disability for the State of Texas. One of my coworkers wants to groom me for her job as a Contract Manager when she retires, but I don't know if I want to do that. I just told her the other day, I don't know what I want to be when I grown up! Alot of times I feel pressure to go after the money, but I want enjoy what I do. She tells me you are too smart to stay in this position for long, but I know for right now that is not something I would want to pursue. And sometimes I feel bad about that? Are my expectations too low? Well this devotional just confirms I need to do what My Father wants me to do, not what other people, or even just what I want to do. People tell me, I would be crazy to pass up all the money that would come with this job, but that doesn't motivate me. Thank you so much for sharing your story, which is actually my story too. I know the Lord, and the Holy Spirit will lead me down the right path, the path He wants me on, not the path everyone else has traveled! 🙂

  180. Hi Renee,

    Thanks for your insights and sharing. I could completely identify with you and didn't know so many women felt so lost in who they were and what they were created to be and do. That has been my life story even now at age 36. There's always been a longing in my heart to find what that is or if that is really something tangible to pursue. But one thing is sure, I really don't know who I am, what I like because I too got lost in being so quick to please others and put others' interest above my own. It's such a balancing act, because the Bible says to put the interest of others above our own. I never knew when to draw that line, but find myself so many years later having forsaked developing who God wants me to be.
    So now I will pray for God's dreams for my life. Thank you for the encouragement.


  181. Forgot to leave my email address reenicole77@yahoo.com!


  182. Thank you for this devotional! It is so true that we lose ourselves in the busy-ness of life. It happened to me…I started working at 16 (as many teens do) to take some pressure off my mom, so that she wouldn't need to worry about buying my clothes or giving me money to do things with friends. I worked to pay for my own senior pictures, ring, etc…at the time those things seemed so important 🙂 I always let my friends choose our activities, even if it wasn't my fave. I married at 21, and continued my trend – allowing my husband to make the decisions (as he should), but somewhere in it all, I had forgotten what things i actually liked and which ones i did because someone else liked them. I have been single (with one child) for over 2 yrs now and just now am discovering the kinds of things that I enjoy. I am beoming acutely aware of when I do something because someone expects me to and when I am driven to do something because its who i am. This devotional is a great encouragement, so thank you very much for taking the time to post it! My email: heymarie76@gmail.com

  183. Thank You…
    for this devotional! It really spoke to me. I'm only 16 from Atlanta,GA and I find myself playing the "comparison game" alot. I dont know what it is, but I feel God telling me He has big plans for my life. That's why I want to make sure I follow His plans and not mine.


  184. I'm 35, and in a lot of ways, I think I'm only beginning to understand what God has planned for me. One thing is for sure, just when I think I've got it figured out, God shows me another part. It used to bother me, but not anymore. Can you imagine how overwhelming it would be to see the entire journey we would take with God from beginning to end right at the get go. I like this one thing at a time way of life much better. I think discovering my personality traits will help me be a better parent.


  185. Anonymous says:

    Dear Renee,
    Thank you for being so vulnerable with us, at God's direction. I am a 38 year old wife-nurse-Sabbath School teacher-daughter-sister melancholy phlegmatic who has no idea what my dreams are. I feel like I'm blooming where I've been planted. I pray for God's will in my life. But I have no idea what His plan for me is. I just keep trying to do whatever He presents day to day.
    I think I will try to read some of the books that helped you, because I have no dream and there is a verse in the Bible that says "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Other than waiting patiently for Jesus to come take us home, and trying to bring as many people with me when I go, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing.
    Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. You've been such a blessing to me.
    In Him,

  186. Anonymous says:

    Seems like this devotion was so timly for many. Thanks for listening to God's and letting him speak through you. We all should be constantly looking for what God wants us to be…. more like Him. And as I struggle with that very issue, I was encouraged by today's inspiriation. Thank you. 44 yo, kathyh@mail.umobile.edu

  187. I found this topic to be very timely. I am a 45 year old women/mom living in Alpharetta, GA and have been searching (and slowly) finding who I am in Christ and my purpose for his kingdom for the last 4-5 years. But I am still searching and moving forward day by day!

  188. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for raising this issue. It seems to affect women more than men. I am now 57 and after the break up of a 32 year marriage that I really never thought would dissolve, I have been slowly but surely recovering, thanks to the grace of God. I defined myself more by what my husband wanted me to be than who God had created me to be. Self esteem crashed, therefore, when my husband chose a younger woman and left me.

    Like so many women I speak to, life gets more and more complex as relationshps change and develop. I am so grateful to God for His strength and His goodness that has kept me alive. The reality of His love has been demonstrated through friends and through my husband's family…how amazing is that? I can honestly say I have learned so much about God in this time, it has been worth it.

    One more comment. I did the 'Freedom in Christ' course through my church about a year ago and that was wonderful! It is immensely practical, totally Bible based and the 'Steps to Freedom' part brought me so close to the Lord…it was an experience I find hard to put into words. He dealt with issues that I had been living with for too long and I realised more than ever just how much He loves me…the Lord of Heaven and earth loves me and Jesus died to set me FREE!! What an amazing truth!

    If he did it for me…then, whoever reads this, he did it for you too!!

    Thank you for creating this blog! It is good to share God's love for His daughters like this!! May God bless your ministry!

  189. Thank you for sharing what God has set on your heart to share. Your blog always inspires me. I am a 47 year old mom of three wonderful grown kids. My life has been centered around them. Though now I am divorced, I look forward to finding me and what God has planned.
    Bless you from jrl2691@gmail.com in Corpus Christi, Texas.

  190. Thanks Renee for the devotion today. It is perfect timing for me. My oldest daughter is getting married in a few weeks! My other two children are going to be off in college. A big change for my life…no more volunteering at school and all of their activities that needed extra hands. Lord, what are the dreams, hopes and desires that you would want me to do. What is my purpose? I can hardly wait to dive into this material. Praising God for what He is going to do. Pam

  191. The timing of this is perfect of course God is perfect and he knew that I would be reading this at this time. My husband and I are struggling right now. We have been married for 23 years. We married young. We have 4 boys. I stayed home for awhile, worked part time and attended college here and there but never finished. I feel that if something happened to my husband how will I support my family. I know God will provide but is there something I should or could do to be prepared for such a situation.
    Right now I'm wondering what it is I want to do when I grow up but I'm 42 and still not sure and at times feel I should have had the answer by now and well into whatever it should have been but I have'nt and I'm not. I'm tired of being afraid. I want to know who I am and what God's plan is for me. Thanks for sharing how God is working in your life and you sharing this with others.

  192. Anonymous says:

    Your blog today and your submission on P31 really spoke to my heart. I didn't realize how much I needed to read those words until after I had read them. I am recently seperated from my husband of 10 years. Those ten years were filled with emotional and physical abuse. My mom was constantly telling me that I wasn't her daugther–meaning that I wasn't the person she had known before I was married. I didn't understand that. Now that I am on my own, I am struggling with who I am. I read the four personality descriptions and I found that I could relate to pieces of three of them. Yet, I am still trying to figure out "who am I, what makes me happy, what do I REALLY enjoy?" Thank you for the resources you have provided and your daily uplifting of my spirit. I am in Glen Carbon, IL. jekkaj1@hotmail.com

  193. Thank you for sharing your story. I am 26 years old and for the past 6 years I have been working on going to nursing school with a family. In the last 2 months after taking one of the last classes that I needed to take for pre reqs, I stopped because I feel like that is not where God wants me to me. So I am finding myself and starting all over again. I felt bad at first, I just started to accept it and I feel a lot better about my decision. akia

  194. Anonymous says:

    I can relate to this! This is what I need to hear. I've been desperately trying to figure out what God's plan is for me for years. I would be great to finally figure it out.

  195. Your words in today's devotion as well as in your blog were just what God needed me to listen to right now. Last year, my youngest child went to college, and my husband and I moved 3000 miles away. I left a great job, and am back to being a stay at home mom, but all my children are out of the house! Each step and risk has taught us something, and God has been faithful. I still wonder why I had to go through all these changes! There is definitely a reinventing season going on in my life, and it's good. I am having to give up more control than I ever even knew I had! It is such a relief to be reminded that I am not in control and my responsibility is to seek God's truth, not create my own path! Thank you for the encouragement!

  196. Anonymous says:

    My husband and I are both struggling in this area. I'm tired of going in circles. I pray that God will guide us to be th people we were meant to be

  197. Anonymous says:

    I really enjoyed your devotion today. In reading through all the comments, it helps me to see that I am not the only 40 something woman that is still in this place.


  198. Anonymous says:

    I usually don't read the daily devotions. I feel that the Spirit led me to read this one, because I'm contantly asking God to reveal His purpose for my life. Praise God He led me to read your devotion for today.

    To answer your questions:

    Melancholy describes me best.

    I feel my greatest strengths are sensititvity to others feelings and having the intelligence to learn new things.

    I need to work on speaking my mind and following through on the things I say I'll do. I may be a perfectionist to a fault in that I'm unable to get tasks completed.

    The challenges I face in discovering my unique "me" ar that I'm always looking at otheres to see how I measure up to them or how they measure up to me. I'm also so busy worried about people being happy with me that i try to be the person that others expect me to be.

    I'm 37 from Muskogee, OK

  199. Anonymous says:

    37 from Muskogee, OK
    Cathy Givens

  200. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your devotional. I am just coming out of a very stressful and depressing time in my life. I have realized that for, at least the last 33 years, I have been trying to find my significance in other people – most specifically, my family.

    Having realized this I know I need to find out how to be "uniquely me". I read your online devotional this morning, thankful that God is helping me to become who He wants me to be but sometimes not knowing who it is that He made me to be. Does that make sense?

    My prayer, recently, has been that God would help me to love Him with all my heart (affections and loyalties), all my soul (my "self" and my will), all of my strength (physical activities and fortitude) and my mind (intellect/my thoughts).

    May I share a recent experience I have had? I was having a quiet time with the Lord one morning when I began to sense His Presence in a way I have never felt before. Whenever I have felt His Presence near me it has been a wonderful experience, but this time was different – more wonderfully sweet, if you will. I wasn't quite sure what was happening so I said, "Lord, I have experienced Your Presence before but this is different. What is the difference?" His response to me was, "Child, I have you in my lap and I am hugging you!"
    God is so good!!

    Thank you for being obedient to God and allowing Him to work and speak through you.

  201. Anonymous says:

    What a great topic! I am looking forward to starting the journey to find the 'real' me.

  202. Anonymous says:

    I was just crying about this same thing this week. I am a 33 yr old mother of 2 and attending CCU at night for my teaching degree, while working part time at my church. During class Monday night we took a "smarts" test and out of the 8 smarts tested, I scored lowest in knowing myself. I have always placed everyone else's needs and desires before my own. I have always believed it best to strive for humility and always with a servant heart. In the process I have neglected self and now I have no idea what my dreams are. I can never make up my mind about anything and I always wait for someone else to tell me what to do. I have never been confident in who I am, though I strive to be Christ-like always. For the first time in my life I made a choice for myself and went back to college again to get my elementary teaching license. I want to be confident that this is going to be me, but I'm scared.

    I really needed today's devotion, and I almost skipped taking the time to read it! I would've missed out greatly in what God was trying to tell me! Thank you! Thank you for being obedient to God's leading in your service. It is obvious that so many of us needed to hear this today!! I pray that each one of us women will take some time to allow God to tell us His dreams for us. I pray we will embrace them and go for it under God's leading!

    Bless you Renee!
    Love, Christina -GJ, CO

  203. Anonymous says:

    wow … i'm 43, thought I'd be a stay-at-home mom of a few children by now (we'd talked of 3 or more…!), maybe even looking at colleges for the oldest by now … shoot! My Mom became an empty-nester @ 40 and Grandma a few days shy of her 42nd birthday! sigh… but God's given my hubby and I 4 boys of the feline kind and "adopted" kids in our church (some even call us uncle and aunt!). But then you mentioned in the devotional "I was also a constant candidate for burn out." … and that's what I feel LOTS of times … and what in the world does GOd really want me to do?! Tho I feel i'm where I'm suppose to be in the jobs & ministry I have, there's still been something "off" or missing … thank you for sharing and giving guidance to find out who God's really made me and each of us ladies!

    Thank you for sharing!
    Su, Austin, TX

  204. Anonymous says:

    Isn't truly amazing how these devotionals ALWAYS seem to be what we need to hear from God each and everyday. I must say that at times I also struggle with this in my life. I am 39 turning 40 and I feel like I have lived 1/2 my life and I'm still not sure where God is taking me. I struggle with this because I have 3 daughters and feel like I should be more of a model or example to them but if I were to be completely honest I am still looking for that "thing" that lights up everything in my heart with passion. This last Sunday the sermon was about "Jesus is close so hold on–Don't let the Dream Die" I was amazed at how God spoke to me through this sermon. When we had our alter call my soul and spirit were rejoiced but my brain was confused becuase I couldn't understand what was going on…it's like they knew something is going to occur in my life but my brain was waiting to get the message. Has anyone ever experienced something like this?

    Thank you Renee for speaking (writing) to us from your heart!!!! May God continue to bless everything you touch.

    In Christ Service and yours,
    Silvia from South Florida (arvelos@aol.com)

  205. Anonymous says:

    Your devotional today met me where I am. I have struggled for so long over "who I'm gonna be when I grow up." I am about to turn 40 and feel that I am finally growing comfortable with who I am, yet there are still many questions about exactly what I am supposed to be doing, as far as using my gifts and talents for the Lord. I am a wife and mother, which was a major part of my dreams as a child, but I desire also to have defined my "own" special calling. I am thankful to have seen the Lord working in my life through the years, and I know He will continue to do so. Thank you for the encouragement.

    [My name is Tina and my email address is daisy_lore@yahoo.com]

  206. Anonymous says:

    Thanks so much for your devotion today Renee! It spoke to my heart as it has done with so many people here! It is comforting to know that I am not alone in this journey of finding out who I am in Christ!

    Jennifer, 39 yrs


  207. Anonymous says:

    I turned 48 years old today. I'm a mother of 3 (ages 24, 21, and 17), grandmother to 1.
    Great devotion. It made me think that I truly dont' know myself. I'm so busy all the time helping and listening to other people I dont take the time for myself.
    Dont know if I ever will.

  208. As I sat and read this this morning I know that it was perfect timing and of course it would be because God is perfect. He knew I'd would need this at this moment. This my second attempt to comment because for some reason I lost my first draft. I am struggling in my marriage right now of 23 years. My husband and I married young. We have 4 boys.I am 42.
    I wonder at times of discord how would I support my famly if something were to happen to my husband, God forbid,I know God will provide. Is there something that I should be doing or could have done to be somewhat prepared for such an event. I have been a stay at home mom for the most of our marriage which has been a blessing. I have attended some college courses here and there but never attained a degree. I'm getting to a point where I am tired of being fearful and not knowing who I am and when I do find out will the people in my life accept or reject me because I'd be different. I love my husband but I'm struggling to trust. We have been through so much. I think a big part of the struggle is because I don't know who I am.
    Today I begin to pray that God reveals what it is I am to do. To reveal what my true dream is and the freedom and courage to carry it out.
    Thank you for your sharing your knowledge of how God has used you and is using you in the lives of others.

  209. I have really been trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life. I am 29 years old and went back to school after I had my first child. I have changed my major more times than I can count, all because I have not truly found my calling yet. I wondered if you could share the titles of those books you mentioned? I truly hope that everyone who has commented on your devotion today gets the answers they are praying for. I know that God has a purpous for my life and that I am uniquely gifted in some way, I just have not been shown what that way is yet. I pray that I find out before graduation… =)

  210. Anonymous says:

    Wow. Thank you for speaking to my heart today. I have never left a comment on a blog before — and at 49 still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. Thank you for the encouragement. After reading through the other comments I can see that I'm not alone.

  211. bluekangaroo360@gmail.com says:

    Wow. Thank you for speaking to my heart today. I have never left a comment on a blog before, but at 49 am still learning and trying things — although I still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. Thank you for the encouragement. After reading through other comments I can see that I'm not alone.

  212. Anonymous says:

    Thank You! This so touched my heart today, I am 53, a mother of eight and a grandmother of 9 soon to be ten grandchildren. I have lived my life for my children and so struggle with who I am and what my dreams are. I have defined myself as a mom and as a grandma but i feel God has more for me. I just wish I felt I had some clue what that was. Thank you again for the encouragement. God bless!

  213. Anonymous says:

    Renee – I am fairly positive you must have crawled inside my thoughts and written this devotion from my own perspective. I am 32 years old in a job I don't like at a company I LOVE and am still trying to figure out who I am and what to be when I grow up! God created me to be his precious daughter despite my own perceived imperfections. Even in looking at the personality types listed in your devotion I was thinking, "Well, I'm some of this but some of that too." Ack! Thank you for your inspiring message. I am going to look up the resources you listed to see what God has in store for me. 🙂 Thank you again for this precious message.

    Brenna Smith

  214. Anonymous says:

    Please enter me in the drawing dkstallkamp@windsteam.net
    Thanks for sharing your story

  215. Anonymous says:

    I had not really thought about this topic before. It was quite an eye opener and one that has now caught my attention. I look forward to finding out more about "me"!! hafergusonrdh@yahoo.com

  216. Anonymous says:

    I am a 42 yr old wife and homeschooling mother. One child is a young adult in college, the other is a 12 yr old and still at home. I do have dreams that surface from time to time, but those dreams seem to get buried under the busyness of taking care of my family (and aging parents).
    I have been struggling with this very issue for some time. Funny how the enemy can almost convince me that it's only me. Well, as I've read through all these many comments, I'm clearly not alone!
    Recently, I asked the Lord to please point me in the right direction toward fulfilling His dreams for me and He directed me toward this Bible Verse: "He hath shewed thee, O man (or O woman in my case), what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" Micah 6:8
    So, I am now asking God for daily opportunities to show mercy, to live justly, and to walk humbly wherever He'd have me to go. It may be on an overseas mission trip, or across the street to my neighbor's. I know if I am faithful in the little things, He will unfold bigger dreams and plans for me in His time. But today, I can praise Him for already fulfilling one dream, and that is of my entire family serving the Lord!

    Be blessed!

  217. Anonymous says:

    I am also reading Cure for the Common Life by Max Luccado which also addresses God's unique design for you. I am a teacher and I not only try to see my uniqueness but also my students' and my childrens. Thank you for your message, it was validating and unlifting! I think this journey is ongoing on refining who you are in God's beautiful plan.

  218. This is an issue I struggle with quite a bit. I'm 34 and a new mommy. I know being a mommy is one of my purposes, and I love my career, but my "me time" is non-existant. When I was younger I wanted to be so many things – an artist, a gardener, an executive, etc. I often wonder where my passion went and what my hobbies are besides cleaning and paying bills. I need to ask God for guidance to find balance. Thank you for this post!

  219. Dear Renee,

    I'm 36 and though I think I know my purpose or at least I know "my" purpose for me, I think it's time to find out what God's purpose is for me.
    I fit into the personality type of melancholy, and desiring perfection for myself is tiring.
    I really enjoyed your blog today because it fits right into where my thoughts are right now in finding out what God's purpose is for me and how He wants to use me for His purpose.


  220. Anonymous says:

    Hi,I am a stay home mom and a wife. This is year a milestone for me. I can't believe I am going to be forty and my daughter, 13 this year.

    I relate to so many other ladies how they have expressed themselves. At times, I feel like I cannot even express my feelings. However, I must say that the good Lord has blessed me with so many blessings. I always remind myself not to look at those who seem to have the perfect of everything but to look at those who have less and try to be grateful for what I have. And be a encouragement and help to others.

    Thank you for sharing your devotional today. I listen to a local Christian radio that is how I came to know about P31 ministries and ever since (3 months) I have been reading your daily devotions and I have been blessed immensely.

    I've been seeking the Lord's guidance in my life as to what to do next. I want to go to school or even get a job. Above all, I want to be that person that God created me to be.

    I so clearly remember once a preached preached something like "How God created each one of us (unique) is a gift to us, and what we become (to be Christ like) is our gift to him."

    My prayer is that the Lord will reveal His purpose for my life.


  221. Wow. A friend sent me your Proverbs 31 devotional, and I felt so amazed to find there is another woman out there who also feels like she is still that junior high girl trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. I've taken many personality tests, so I know my personality and my strengths and weaknesses, but because of the path my life has taken, I have never really had the luxury of considering what I really love and what I would passionately want to do if money and time were not obstacles – because they always have BEEN obstacles. Every time I read a book or watch an Oprah episode about "finding your inner passion, following your dream, find the real you" blah blah, I feel so frustrated and like a failure because I feel just like the woman who wrote that devotional – I have NO clue. I have many things I enjoy doing, some that I really love, but I can't ever seem to zero in on the one thing or even a couple of things. I have subscribed to your blog and look forward to reading more on this subject. And it's encouraging to find that many women feel like I do.

    I especially love your prayer at the end of the devotional, which focuses not just on God showing me what I should be doing, but asking God to show me how he wants to USE my talents for his purposes. I have printed it out and plan to read and meditate on it as I pray those words. Thank you.

  222. Well duh, I forgot to include my name, age and location and email in my comment.

    Gail Clark, Age 55, Arlington, Texas


  223. Oops, and I am a Melancholy/Sanguine, which is a really odd combination that causes me to have lots of inner struggles, LOL. It's about 70/30 but sometimes that inner sanguine fights hard to get her way!

  224. Thanks for this great devotional. I am 43 years old and seem to find parts of me in all of those personality types. Any given day or wind shift and I can change! haha! I had a job at my church that ended a few years ago and it began a journey for me to discover why I'm here. The job defined me. I felt that I had a place and a purpose and that I fit in. Then the job ended and I was completely and utterly lost. It was 2 years before I could be at church without crying. It was and can still be a really rough road. I was at a ladies meeting a few months back and the speaker asked us to go be alone somewhere in the church and to read Psalm 139 out loud and really take time to reflect on EVERY SINGLE WORD and how it related to each of us. I was so overwhelmed by realizing (and doesn't that seem stupid at my age) that God KNOWS me. He MADE me and He LOVES me. Just the way I am. No more need to people please. Just HIM. He'll direct my paths. He'll show me my purpose.

  225. Anonymous says:

    I just want to start off by saying that God is totally blowing me away this last week or so. Especially as I have been reading this today. I have felt myself in constant comparison all my life… with my sister, my mom, my step-sister, my step-mother…. girls I have been in school with, and even CLOSE FRIENDS!!! I always felt different and hated being different because I didn't know why I was! Well, after MANY, MANY not-so-smart choices in my life I have finally surrendered my life to Christ to serve Him wherever He calls me. And I am realizing that I have gone through everything so that I can "bear witness" to others that are experiencing similar things.. like you have been doing! I want to say that I am still not completely aware of His plans for me, but I am now on the road to healing and finding that out! I thank you for being obedient to His calling for you life so that I could have a sister-in-Christ to walk this road with. I am SO looking forward to what God is doing in my life and I'm ready to see who He has called me to be! And where He has called me to go!

  226. Anonymous says:

    I'm nearly 63 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I just go along doing whatever is necessary to keep our family surviving, whether that means working a job I truly don't like just to keep food on the table or allowing my 38 year old daughter to verbally abuse me because she has a need to be hurtful to me, I just do whatever is necessary. I'd love to know what God had planned for me and what I'm missing out on.
    CRooney crooney@windstream.net

  227. Anonymous says:

    I am 34 and I've already been on one heck of a journey recently. I lost my dad 3 years ago and at the same time he was diagnosed with cancer, I met my now, current husband. I had so many emotions going through me at once I don't know if I could really comprehend them. I was baptised 2 years ago on Mother's Day. We've been married for a year now and I am the happiest I've ever been. My husband has helped me grow so much in my relationship with God, but I still do not know what God wants me to do with my life. I keep feeling a tug, but I don't know what to do with it. I've had a low self-esteem most of my life (as I think most women do) and so now that I'm older and a little bit wiser, I realize that it is time to figure me out. I love my family but I know I could be so much better for them as well as myself if I knew what God wanted from me.

    I would love to win the workbook & CD. Email address: shawnaslc@sbcglobal.net

  228. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for sharing this. It is right on time because now that I have been staying at home for 2 yrs I feel I have forgotten what it meant to be jsut me. Doing what I like to do and actually having dreams for myself. Don't get me wrong I love focusing this time with my children but I can't forget about me. I am going to get back in touch with me and start to discover who this new person is that I am becoming throught this journey of motherhood!

    Astra Aker
    North Carolina

  229. Anonymous says:

    God led me to this today through my Proverbs 31 devotional. It was exactly what I needed to hear and spoke straight to me. I am 28 yrs old and going through a bit of a rough patch at work. I find myself frustrated when I feel I'm trying to do the right thing when others aren't. I often find myself being a people-pleaser instead of sticking up for myself. You've helped remind me that I need to keep God in focus. I can't help but have tears come to my eyes as I read other women's comments and find that I am not alone in my struggles. I look forward to coming back to your site for more encouragement. Many thanks.
    currently stationed in England

  230. Wow, this devotion really hit home for me! That would so be me sitting in that group dreading answering that question. I am 48 years old and I don't know who the real me is. I have been married for 25 years to a man that has had control issues that he is improving on with God's help. I have a 24 year old daughter who lives at home with my one year old graddaughter and I have an 11 year old son. I was a stay at home mom until 3 years ago when I got a job at my church as a bible teacher to 4 year olds during the week while their parents came for bible studies of there own. It was something I really enjoyed doing. When my daughter moved in with the baby and went back to work I left my job to stay home and care for my granddaughter. I feel very strongly about leaving my children in day care and that included my granddaughter so I gave up my job for a while. My life is all about making time for God and taking care of my family. That leaves little to no time for me. You have really given me a lot to think about. I will be getting with God on this and getting the books you recomended. I am looking forward to finding me. I have shared this devotional with my 67 year old mom. She raised 10 kids and now it's just her and dad. I went to visit her recently and she is consantly trying to find something to do to keep her busy. That usually involved helping dad do a project. Still peaple pleasing. I pray she will benifit from this too. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us. Thanks Renee for the eye opener.
    Tammy from San Antonio, TX

  231. Amazing! I have been trying to find myself my whole life. My mom died when I was 5, so being an only child of a controlling father, who loves me very much. My goal in life was to be a mother. I have devoted my life for the past 26 years to my 5 wonderful children. I am divorced & try to please them. I have 3 years before the last one graduates. Then what? I will be able to work on me.
    My whole life I have asked myself "Why am I the person I am?", "Why was I born in Iowa to the parents I have?", "What is the purpose in my life?" I am very much a people pleaser, who compares myself to others. I like how it was stated that you can't compare outsides with insides. I feel I have a hard heart now and am very selfish at times. I would like to remarry someday but feel I need to find myself first. I have been reading devotionals and spending more time with God over the past couple of years. I get so caught up in the busyness of life and my kids that there is never enough time for me. It is hard doing things alone and I don't reach out & tend to stay home. I am a teacher & decided to go back to school for my masters & concentrate on me for once. Pray for me to get through it and find myself in the process.
    Thanks so much for your devotional, I usually don't search through here after I read it though. God was working! I will pray that God leads me on his righteous path to be the wonderful person I want to be, through him. jackie@acsnet.com

  232. Anonymous says:

    This topic definitely resonates with me. Reading the other posts, it's good to know others in their 40's also struggle with the same thing. I'm 43 and still trying to figure it out.

  233. Anonymous says:

    Wow what an Awesome message you shared in the devotional this morning. All you women at P31 are so blessed with words of encouragment. I have been reading through all of the blogs and relizing that I am not the only one who feels like I am not sure God's plan for my life.
    I am 20 years old and just made the first step in really listening to what God wants me to do. I had been dating an awesome Christian man for over 2 years. We had been engaged and were planning a wedding for this October. A month ago God really laid on my heart that I needed to wait to marry this man. So I shared my feelings with my finacee and then postponed the wedding. Then after hours of time spent in prayer and listening to the Lord I knew that I needed to end the relationship. There were things that would not be compatable in a marriage at this point and we both needed to rely on God more in our life before we could get married. This is the hardest thing I have ever done and am really missing this man. I know I am in God's will though, and I have such peace through this all.
    Know I am relizing that I was pushing my dreams aside to prepare for married life. I train horses and give riding lessons. I have always wanted to show horses and compete at a Pro level and had been saving up since I was 15 for that. The money I was saving was going towards a wedding and I knew my dreams were never going to be accomplished. I am waiting on the Lord to be sure this is what he wants me to do. I am struggling with the fact that it is not exactly missions or totally for the Glory of God, even though I know he can use me where ever he has me.
    I guess I just dont know if God would give me a dream this big that will take so much money and possibly not further his kingdom more. So here I am once again praying and seeking Gods will of what step to take next. I guess I should follow my Big Dreams becasue they were put there by a very Big God.
    Anyway not to write a book, but Thanks so much again for all who have been posting it is a great encouragment to other woman. God gives us all dreams we just sometimes get lost in our "To Do" lists to follow our hears.

    Rodoegurl498@aol.com Any emails from whomever would be awesome, I love chatting with other Godly woman 🙂

  234. thanks for the devotions and follow up on your blog.
    I am Debbie from Pennsylvania my email is

  235. Wow! 230 comments before mine…and every woman on here can relate. Makes me realize that I'm truly not alone in my struggles.

    I am 33 years old and I too have spent a lot of time comparing myself to others…trying to fit in and be everything to everyone. You're right, it's exhausting! Honestly, I think I've gotten a lot better (with the Lord's help) in this way in the past few years, but even now I still struggle.

    I am a phlegmatic/choleric mix. Strange mix I think, but…it's true. It's also strange that it took me so many years to figure that out. When I was a teenager we studied this in church. I thought I was a melancholy because my mom was a melancholy. 🙂

    Comparison goes right along with the reaccuring theme in my life lately. We are reading the book, "The Uncommon Woman" by Susie Larson in our book study right now. I have read this book before, but for some reason the first chapter that takes a look at insecurity "hit me" a lot harder this time. Susie ventures to say that insecurity is another form of selfishness. When we're insecure we make decisions with ME in mind. I'm thinking the same is true of comparison. At least something to think about. 🙂

    Thanks for being obedient, Renee. I appreciated this post today.

    Northeastern Iowa

  236. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for this devotion today Renee. I can really relate to this topic! I am a people pleaser or a "Ms. Fix it" as my family would call it. I am the last person that gets MY attention in my life. There is always something else that comes up or pushes it way to the front of my "list" and I know it needs to stop. Thanks for putting the words down on paper (email) so I may pick them up!

    I pray the Lord leads me to where I need to be so I can start to please him and not everyone else!

  237. Anonymous says:

    I am a 38 year-old working mom of two. Seems I've been asking God for so very long what purpose He created me for. The Word says He has given every one of us gifts and talents to be used for His kingdom….still looking for mine. I am barely, barely beginning to come to a small realization of one thing I think may be my "passion", but have NO IDEA how to even begin moving in that direction (because, of course, it seems impossible!), or even really how to specifically define it.

    I've done all the tests (personality, spiritual gifts, strength finders, colors, animals, Bible characters, Meyers-Briggs, you name it) but the only one that really seemed applicable is the one you mentioned – I am most definitely Melancholy/Phleg! But I seem to have none of the STRENGTHS of a melancholy, and ALL of the weaknesses of a phleg! Yay. And knowing my personality type really doesn't tell me much about my life's purpose….

    It's frustrating that we have to spend (literally) half our lives not living in our purpose because we can't figure out what it is. I would love to do the book and workbook you are giving away, but still I think God reveals His purpose for us when He's ready. As I said, I've done all the tests….until He's ready to show me, nothing I can do will make a difference.

    West Texas

  238. Anonymous says:

    At the age of 43 I really don't know who I am. I've spent my whole life pleasing others.

    This devotion has struck a cord in my heart but where do I being?


  239. Anonymous says:

    Wow Renee, this really hits home. I am a mother of 2 grown boys, 50 years old and have struggled with these thoughts for some time. I read the devotional every morning then pass on to 2 dear friends. It is encouraging to know that I'm not the only one feeling this! It is truly a gift from God to read your insights today and to let me know I'm not the only one! Thanks for sharing and I'll keep praying about God's will for my life.

  240. Anonymous says:

    This is exactly what I have been praying about the last several months – Thank You, Lord, for always speaking to my heart and leading me in the direction to become the "me" You have made me to be. I pray I continue to hear! I am 45 years old and most of my life has consisted of what others thought I should be. I truly want to reach others in the way God wants me to – uniquely – I'm just not sure what that looks like ?? Thank you, Renee, for this very God timing devotional and post. All because of Him,

  241. Jill Herald says:

    Hi Renee. I think you've really stareted something here! I forwarded parts of your blog onto friends in my email today and had surprising response as well. Just as the person above, I just finished the book Captivating and God had another book waiting for me. The last 18 months or so have been such a journey of self-discovery that have been so amazing. The last few days or week, I have been slightly off course and feeling down, wondering how would get it back together….and along comes your Post today, followed by your Daily Devotion…seems like I am finding my way. I cannot wait start your workbook and CD. I think it might be a great gift as well. Thank you so much, my heart very much needed to hear the messages God so so beautifully delivered through you today. I am thankful you were were open to His work. Have a very blessed day!

  242. Anonymous says:

    I do understand what you wrote about today. I am 50 yrs old and still trying to understand what God has planned for me. God has been good and faithful to me but it is me that still does not understand.
    God Bless you

  243. I am sitting here with my mouth wide open. Minutes before I read your devotion and blog, I was writing in my brand new journal (I am trying it again) about this very subject. I was pouring my heart out to the Lord about not knowing who I was and asking Him to help me become the woman He created me to be. I was sharing the disappointments in who I see myself to be and so not wanting to live with so many regrets. Then I open your devotional and blog and God said see – your not alone. See I have helped other and I will help you. Thank you so much for listening to Him and writing this today. My eyes are filled with tears as I write and I feel something like excitement in my chest to see where this journey will take me. My name is Amy. I live outside of St. Louis. My email address is ajinman30@gmail.com. I do have one question – how do you stay on track? How do you not give up?

  244. Anonymous says:

    From the Monday, I was feeling a bit confused about myself. Those questions mentioned in your devotion are some that I ask, and I didn't know how to proceed, thanks for your devotion it has help a whole lot. Am 34 and today I know with God am closer now to answering who I am.


    Placencia, Belize, Central America

  245. Wow, thank you for this devotion today! I have always thought that there was something wrong with me because I don't know what my dreams are or if I even have any. I am 46 years old and I honestly don't know what I would do with my life if time and money were unlimited. But can I be all four of the personalities? LOL 🙂

  246. Ruth Martin says:

    I am a 73-year old great-grandmother, but I still love reading your articles – and passing them along to "my girls".
    I wish I could say that we all find our way eventually, but sometimes I wonder what I am doing here. Then I remember, if God didn't have something for me to do here – then I would be THERE!!!

  247. Anonymous says:

    Today's devotional and your blog felt like you were talking about me. I've been a people pleaser and peace keeper my whole life. I thought a few times that I didn't even know who I was because I was always trying to be whatever everyone else needed me to be. I still don't feel like I know who I am. Thank you so much for your making me feel like I'm not alone in this that there are other women just like me.


  248. Anonymous says:

    Thank you very much for this devotion. It has moved me in more ways than I can list in this missive. I am 46 and I've spent the last 18 months grieving the loss of my marriage and my home. It’s time for me to move on and I’ve been praying for direction and purpose. Thank you for providing the first step. grace21329@yahoo.com

  249. As i was reading ur post i too realized i was just leading a regular life as a housewife, mother and devoted church goer. Many a time i have asked the Lord to show me my purpose for his kingdom and I feel so lost. Thanks, i will try to listen harder to the Lord to show me what he wants for me and my life.

  250. I posted earlier today and have popped back to the blog to look at all of the comments. I wish I could give everyone a hug.

  251. Anonymous says:

    I, like so many others on here, have no clue "who I am" or "Who God wants me to be". I never thought about it that way. I guess I never really thought about it. I just go from one day from another, and I am about to burn out. Thanks for your words of encouragement. However, I still cannot figure out which personality I am. I have a little of each of the four.
    I need help for me, which in turn will give help to my husband since we work together.

  252. Renee,
    Well, you have hit the nail on the head… look at all of us who could relate to this sense of uncertainty as to who we are in Christ and what he has planned for us. I think we should start an online group whereby supporting each other in this endeavor. I know I need the support! After I read the devotion, I went to our local Christian bookstore and couldn't find your book or CD about finding one's purpose…. so please enter my name in the drawing. Thanks again for being that vessel that God used this day as a blessing for so many. Bobbi bobbij@mchsi.com

  253. Anonymous says:

    Your instructions said to leave your name and E-Mail and where we're from. But I didn't see a place to do that, when I sent my comment. So, I know you'll never be able to put the two together, but just in case, I ended with "I need help for me, because that will help my husband since we work together."

    I guess I put it here. M. Bailey. Asheville NC 56 IamHISfingers@bellouth.net

  254. This hit so very close to home for me today. I am in transition, which is giving me a HUGE opportunity to find out who I am and what God wants me to do. I've been soul searching for a couple of weeks, struggling with the devil who keeps telling me I can't afford to go back to school and how selfish of me to want to create debt in my marriage with student loans etc. . . and then, the clincher is, when I feel sure that what I want to do is be a career or occupational counselor for college students, the devil tells me I'd never be able to get a job because I'm 52 and it's too late. I'm still struggling, but your devotion today helped me to kick satan down and tell him leave me alone! I have so much to offer in the higher education arena, I've worked in 2 colleges and I just seem to click with the students on such a wonderful level. I KNOW I could do that job! Can I get through school though??? See. . . satan, he gets me everytime!

  255. Anonymous says:

    Like so many of the others here I too am lost. After being a nurse for
    15 years, I wanted to be just a mom.
    Well, now 15 more years later, I
    feel like I have no real identity.

    I was good at what I did as a nurse,
    but no one ever says to me, "Wow,
    mom, you really are good at doing
    that laundry!" I don't know what
    to do with myself. I too am
    praying God will reveal his plan
    for me. I am worried that I am
    getting too old to follow His
    path. Thanks for the insight that
    I am not alone in these thoughts.

  256. Anonymous says:

    Thanks so much for this wonderful
    message. How many there are of us
    who seem to be lost and don't know
    where to turn to find our way.

    Lynn 52

  257. Anonymous says:

    I have a general idea of who God wants me to be, but it's a matter of accepting that person. Still praying that I can follow his will and become that woman of God.

  258. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I've been having a tough time lately knowing where I am being led by the Spirit. I just completed a study at my church called Companions in Christ. And although a couple of things became clear, I am still feeling fuzzy about the way to go. Several years ago, I worked on a ministry candidacy program, but was not told at the district meeting that I wasn't clear enough about my call. I know ministry comes in all forms and ways, but I can't seem to let go of the idea of being a pastor. Some one who had been at the Committee meeting told my pastor that my emotions were part of the reason I was not allowed to go forward within the church's ministry program. Therefore, I am now even more confused about ministry possibilities. But I continue to serve as a musician, Sunday school teacher and anyplace where an extra pair of hands are needed in the congregation. Please pray that I will let go of what I need to and will grasp what I need to learn for the rest of my journey. I am at this time 61, a mom of 2 grown children and Nonna (grandmother) to 2 handsome boys, lost a job last November but am working in a nursing home as an activities assistant 20 hours a week.my email is songbird48@musician.org would love to hear from those like me or who have made it through the tough stuff. Grace peace and blessings to all.

  259. Anonymous says:

    Thanks so much for the devotional today. My husband and daughter work nights so this is my morning time.

    God has been teaching me a lot in past year about who He wants me to be in Him. He has shown me that than plan is not about me and what makes me "happy" but what brings glory and honor to Him. That's what are lives are all about-Him.

    Marcia Reed

  260. Hi Renee, I'm 32 and feel alot like you did at this age! Comparing my inner self to others on the outside. What an awesome devotion today. Thanks for reminding me of God's unique and special plan for MY life – His truth is freeing. 🙂 Have a blessed day!

    Margaret~ mgmurphy77@gmail.com

  261. I love this devotion today, I am 27 and I don't know what my dreams are. I want to know who I am in Christ to be used for His glory. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'm going to start praying for Jesus to show me who I am in His eyes and help me to become that person.

  262. I love this devotion today, I am 27 and I don't know what my dreams are. I want to know who I am in Christ to be used for His glory. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'm going to start praying for Jesus to show me who I am in His eyes and help me to become that person.

  263. Gosh, did this one ever hit a nerve in so many of us! I definitely fall into 2 of the personality traits, 1 more dominant than the other. At 56, I have spent a lot of time wondering who I am and what I should be doing. I must admit that as I look back at my life, I missed a lot of the good times with my children as they were growing up by obsessing on what the world considered success in my career. Striving for and taking a job with more money, more responsibility, and more acclaim at the expense of time with my children. And all of a sudden, they were grown and gone and those special times could not be recreated. Experience is truly the best teacher but some lessons are learned at a high cost. I still struggle with finding balance but I now look to God to help me instead of trying to do it all on my own.

    Thanks, Renee, for sharing your life so openly. What a blessing you are!

  264. Michelle says:

    Love this minsty. This spoke to my heart today. I'm 37yrs. old and dreading 40. I read the different personalities still could'nt tell
    you which one is me. I have always been a people pleaser and am starting to struggle w/ burn out.
    I'm praying to just learn about me as I learn more about God. I Thank
    God for your encouragement everyday.

  265. I loved this devo today Renee! My 5 year old son asked me one day what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him that was a good question 🙂 I am 34 and I never really knew what I wanted to be. Even now if I had to go back to work I don't know what I would want to "do." I know my passion is for other women to know freedom in Christ and who God made them to be. I know that I love reading my Bible and praying and studying God's Word. It is a deep passion of mine. I seek God everyday for His purpose for me and I know that He is leading me. I am starting to teach a Sunday school class this fall using one of Lysa T's book and I know this is only the beginning. I have a heart on fire for God and I know He is leading me into His purpose and plan for me life!

    God Bless Renee, what a wonderful ministry this is!

    Brandee, TN

  266. Anonymous says:

    WOW! I am so excited I stumbled upon you today. I read the proverbs 31 devotional daily. God has really been working on me in this area of finding myself and loving myself. It is a hard pill to swallow. Your words hit home and were reaffirming to what I have been thinking and searching for. I have been a stay at home Mom for 4 years and I lost myself in the boys and put myself and my dreams and desires out of my mind. I have been thinking about what can I do, what will I do to make a difference when they go to school. I have been seeking God and searching for resources to help me on this journey.
    Again just thrilled to stumble upon your loving and encouraging words. I will now be a loyal follower. I am 33 and live in Biloxi, MS. ainzo1@juno.com

  267. Anonymous says:

    I feel like this devotional was written just for me. I need to take the time to look and pray for what God wants for my life. Thank you for writing this.

  268. Anonymous says:

    I really enjoyed this devotion. I often times comepare myself to the outside of others and it is so true that I will never measure up. I am not completely sure in the woman that God made me to be but I definitely want to find out. As I was reading the four personality types I felt like I needed all of them?!? (very confusing) How can I discover my strengths? How can I pull them out when I have trouble just identifying my strengths?

  269. Thanks for this devotion today. I am 23 years old. I know that I am young but just graduated from college with a degree in Child and family studies which i probably will never use. I do not know what my purpose is and sometimes feel like I am the person other people went me to be. I want to be what Christ has made me to be but I am having a hard time finding Who God made me to be and the purpose he has for me and my life

  270. Anonymous says:

    I am going to turn 40 this October and your devotion has touched me right where I am! I, like you, have struggled with and still don't know the "real Me". I've always compared myself and still do! Thank you for writing on this subject that is so true for so many! I pray God will help me find who I'm supposed to be through Him.

  271. Anonymous says:

    Like so many before me I want to thank you for opening this topic up for discussion. As my kids move on to becoming the adults I have always prayed them to be I am left wondering "OK now what am I going to do?" Your blog has greatly inspired me to not just sit around waiting on God strike me with a plan but to be diligent with what He has given me until the next step is revealed.


  272. Anonymous says:

    For the past month, I've been asking the Lord for His direction for my life now that my youngest will be leaving for college next month. I have never felt so lost and unsure of myself as I do right now. I've spent my life taking care of everyone else, trying to please everyone, serving others, sacrificing because I felt it was what God wanted me to do. And after reading your devotion, I felt God's tenderness embrace me. My heart was about to explode because I could totally relate. I thank God for bringing this to my attention. My prayer is that I will seek Him with my whole heart and allow Him to reveal to me His purpose and plan for my life.

  273. Anonymous says:

    Wow, I didn't know I had so much company. I am 57 years old, divorced twice, no children, no career, at present on disability for mental/emotional issues, living with a friend from church because my house was demolished after Hurricane Katrina and I am waiting and waiting and waiting on a Parish Program for a house, grant/loan. I have no clue who I am, but the older I am getting, the more frightening and devastating this realization is becoming. I feel useless, even though I know in my heart the Lord has good plans for me. All toughout my life I made bad choices and it seems the chickens are coming home to roost! I am seeking Him for answers and a closer walk…and He is taking His time. I am hanging onto Trust the Lord…and learning patience…having not yet succeeded in being content in all circumstances! I guess I must be REALLY special, since God is taking so long to give me a clue! Hang in there, gang…God will outdo anything we could even have imagined, so great things are coming for us and He will be glorified. Love y'all, Elizabeth

  274. Anonymous says:

    I was comforted today when I read this. I was sure that I was the only 35 year -old who did not know what she wants to be when she grows up.I would love to read some material that would help me discover who I am , and I will also seek this from the Lord . Thank you , Angela B.bryant1964@yahoo.com

  275. I read your devotional posted on Crosswalk's Encouragement for Today. I had the privilege of getting to hear Florence Littauer speak at a church "Women's Conference" in 1996. If I remember correctly, Phlegmatic is my personality type. Looking forward to reading more of your blog post. I just recently started a blogsite. It has helped me through my grieving process after the loss of my son, last December. I am so glad I came across your site.

    Sandy @ beachgirl77blogspot.com

  276. Anonymous says:


  277. Anonymous says:

    Wow! God is so good. This post and the p31 devotional come at a time in my life (at 42) where I am starting over. I was in an abusive relationship for over 20 years and have realized since being saved that God made me for a reason, and I have been trying to shake off the past and move ahead into the life he has planned for me. I am so blessed having read this and found your blog. Thank you so much for sharing your heart Renee' God bless you. Teresa: t.cassle@yahoo.com

  278. Anonymous says:

    Oh your devotion brought tears to my eyes this morning! Thank you for your honesty. I am 51 next week and have not been working full time for the past 15 years. I have focussed on getting my two kids through a very messy divorce, death of their dearly loved grandmothers and the roller coaster ride that is the teenage years! In that time God has given me a wonderful Godly second husband and two great step children.. We have also adopted twin girls who are now in their teens. As a child I dreamed of having six children but biologically I was not able to have them. God has given them to me in a way I probably wouldn't have chosen as a young person(you know who wants the pain of divorce?). I was wrestling with this very question of purpose, the other day and as I went outside to get some more wood for the fire God revealed to me that this is the season of my life and I am to enjoy it and rest in it. He will reveal to me what further assignments He has in his good time. I am so used to feeling like a facilitator( wind beneath their wings kinda thing) for everyone elses life that I some times, like others, question if I am in God's purpose for my life. I hope and pray that God reveals to us all what it is He wants for us. Why is it that we feel that we must be on the treadmill of career/ministry to feel fulfilled? Our ministry is sometimes in the small things. Smiling at the checkout chic/guy, finding something to brighten the day of the bank teller or being gracious to those who are difficult. I wrestle with this daily as I am sure do others.
    I am so glad you gave us this devotion today. It has given me much to think about… God Bless you and the team a P31.
    Jo from Australia howitt_smith@yahoo.com

  279. Anonymous says:

    I wrote a comment earlier but looking through everything that has been written now, isn't it good to see those of us who are not young, I am 57, still learning about the love and faithfulness of God? He simply never stops!

    No matter who we are, what our lives have contained this far, and how deep the mess is, God has a way through it all. Jesus is the Way!!

    Above is my email, as requested. I am from the UK but presently living in Lima Peru.

  280. Anonymous says:

    Renee, it looks like this devotion hit the spot with so many of us today. I too, (at age 52) am still wondering what God wants me to do. Besides being a wife, mother, and grandmother – what else does the Lord have for me?

    Like some of the other ladies, I know there's something in me that makes me unique, but I can't allows see it. Although, I am starting to realize, it's ok to be myself and to be happy while I'm doing it! 🙂

    Thanks for allowing the Lord to use you to bless so many.


  281. Anonymous says:

    I had never really thought about who I really am until I read today's devotion. I am 31 and have been married for almost 2 years now. I am working so my husband can get his masters degree, but I really don't know what my goal is when we are ready to move again.


  282. So often I see women all around me who seem to have it all together and know exactly who they are and how they fit and I have none of that. I desperately want to be confident as the woman God made me to be. I'm 24, the mother of two little girls. I want them to grow up knowing who they are is just right in God's eyes and be confident in that. I'm from Knoxville,Tn.


  283. As a mom of young kids, I sometimes wonder if I have a "me" or if my kids are who I am. What makes it harder is that I had my kids in my late 30's so I had an identity before but always wanted the identity of MOM. This was an awesome post. A girlfriend and I had this conversation about finding you when you are in the midst of kids. We figured out that right now we are moms.

  284. Anonymous says:

    I can't believe this was posted today on Proverbs 31, I have been discussing w/ my Husband what I should do with my life. I'm almost 41 and still don't know. Thank you.

  285. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for this devotion Renee. I am 33 yrs old, a pastor's wife and mother of two (ages 3 and 6 mos). I often feel as though I have to conceal who I really am in order to please others. Especially for the last few years I have felt that I am defined by my roles as wife and mother. It's hard to think past those roles to who I am on my own and what God wants me to do and be. To a certain extent I know that wife and mother is where he wants me right now, but sometimes I wonder if there is something else I'm missing.

  286. Renee, I read your devo and just finished reading this… both are wonderful and hit the spot.

    Thanks so much for sharing it.!

    I'm 30… about to be 31 on the 20th of this month. Yay!


  287. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for this awesome devotion. I am 33 and always trying to find the path that I am suppose to be one. I am a person pleasure and like to be surrounded by people that will love me for who I am. I am going to pray that I can look at people and not judge them.
    God's Blessings,

  288. Anonymous says:

    What an encouraging word you shared today! At times I felt as tho' I was reading some of my own story! I am in a season of life that I am coming to realize I have put many expectations on myself that the Lord never intended. Embracing this is often difficult and learning to let go, say no and simply "enjoy a simplier" life is often "difficult". Thank you for your encouragement in His truths and pointing us back to who we are in Him!

  289. Anonymous says:

    My name is Maggie Kress. I am 72 years young and legally blind. The computer is my friend because it makes me feel like a sighted person. My computer fonts are 8X normal. I just started writing articles on my blog and have posted a few on Ezine Articles. I want to share my experiences with others so they know they can be in control of their own life.

    Your article on Encouragement sounded a lot like me. My thoughts were all controled by what others thought. I had no self confidense so I thought they knew better than i did. I started to find my own life several years ago but have just found out how to Own My Life. This is only done through God. I put complete faith in him now to lead me and reveal to me what he wants me to know.

    I still struggle with my main purpose for my life. I am in a group and they call it your WHY. I am still searching to know my why or purpose I am here. I feel it is doing what I am doing now, sharing with others and giving them hope for them to get what I have. God is your only answer. My daily prayer is for him to send me the people that he wants me to meet and say the words that he wants me to say. This has happened several times since I started this prayer.

    There are so many people that need to hear that there is hope. We are going through rough times but it can only make us stronger. If everything was easy, we would not know anything different. Our daily conflicts are just challenges of life. Knowing God is always with me is such a confort and I can go through anything as long as I have him at my side.

    Thanks for letting me share with you my feelings and if you would like to know more about me go to my site http://mentormaggie.com

    God Bless
    Maggie Kress

  290. Anonymous says:

    My name is Maggie Kress. I am 72 years young and legally blind. The computer is my friend because it makes me feel like a sighted person. My computer fonts are 8X normal. I just started writing articles on my blog and have posted a few on Ezine Articles. I want to share my experiences with others so they know they can be in control of their own life.

    Your article on Encouragement sounded a lot like me. My thoughts were all controled by what others thought. I had no self confidense so I thought they knew better than i did. I started to find my own life several years ago but have just found out how to Own My Life. This is only done through God. I put complete faith in him now to lead me and reveal to me what he wants me to know.

    I still struggle with my main purpose for my life. I am in a group and they call it your WHY. I am still searching to know my why or purpose I am here. I feel it is doing what I am doing now, sharing with others and giving them hope for them to get what I have. God is your only answer. My daily prayer is for him to send me the people that he wants me to meet and say the words that he wants me to say. This has happened several times since I started this prayer.

    There are so many people that need to hear that there is hope. We are going through rough times but it can only make us stronger. If everything was easy, we would not know anything different. Our daily conflicts are just challenges of life. Knowing God is always with me is such a confort and I can go through anything as long as I have him at my side.

    Thanks for letting me share with you my feelings and if you would like to know more about me go to my site http://mentormaggie.com

    God Bless
    Maggie Kress

  291. Anonymous says:

    Its almost sad to see there are so many of us that do not know ourselves. I'm in my late 40's and made alot of wrong choices. I've heard alot of talk about knowing who you are in Christ. I can honestly say I don't really even know this. Of the personalities you mentioned I would have to say I'm a little of all of them. I'm not sure where I'm going or where He wants me to go but He does. I just hope I make the right choices to get there. I would hope to be a blessing to all who come in contact with me but I'm SO VERY FAR from there. Thanks for the encouragement. God will surly bless you!

  292. Anonymous says:

    Renee Thanks for the devotion on
    P31.I am 43 and am struggling with this, still searching who I am and waht I should be doing. I am lacking in self-confidence, always waiting for confirmation/approval, full of self-condemantion, busy trying to be what others think I am or doing what others want me to do. Of late I have been feeling so discouraged. One truth I know though is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. so I am praying that God help me overcome all these negative thoughts. I want to be the woman that God created me to be!

  293. Ginger said…
    I am so glad you have addressed this topic. I am 42 and have been seeking God's ultimate will for my life for about five years. I have been through tumultuous changes–only God knows and during one of my quiet moments with God, I heard Him whisper, What do you Want?
    I remember the puzzling feeling, God is asking me what I want. I began making lists of needs, needs for my children, physical needs, needs for my family, friends,etc. In my spirit I knew I had not addressed the question My Savior had asked. I am still trying to understand and answer that question. Coming from a highly abusive childhood, I quickly learned how to keep my mom from crying and to keep my dad from raging by performing and not "being". I have to force myself daily to just "be". God is helping me tremendously and I know I am on the right path.
    I'd love to share a poem that indicates the trap of performing for others:


    Oh precious mannequin, come to life and let someone love your heart full of strife.

    For though outside you look so gay,
    I know that inward, you're wasting away.

    And though your eyes like sunshine glow, your storming tears may never show.

    And though you have a painted grin, a frown is roaring from withing.

    How much longer will it take for you to realize mannequins are fake?
    How much longer will it be before I realize it's okay to be me.

    by Ginger Manakides

  294. Renee, Thank you so much for your devo. I am 42 years old and I have often wondered why I was here. I have been a People Pleaser and most times do for others and not for me. I went throught a similar personality profile through a Marriage Enrichment Retreat with my husband several years ago, it is funny how we change over the years because God is still working on me. God Bless until next time. Melissa, Cleveland, Tn gmll9683@aol.com 🙂

  295. I am such a work in progress. Even at 46 I struggle with trying to live up to expectations that I have set for myself based on comparisons with others. God has really impressed upon me lately my uniqueness and importance to him-right now. Not when I finally feel I get my act together and I'm everything I think I should be, but right now.

  296. Anonymous says:

    Thank ou for the devotion on P31 this morning! It has been my prayers all my life to find what my purpose for God is. I'll be 50 in two weeks, currently unemployed again and wondering what the next adventure is that God has for me. I've always compared myself to others and still do a lot of the time. Especially now that I'm hitting the half century mark and I feel that I have not done anything special besides raise two terrific children. I will be reading the book you refered to in your blog and would, also, like to know the books you read when going through the "Who am I and what am I doing here?" stage.

  297. Anonymous says:

    This page was sent to me by a friend and when I read it I was just blown away. I am 44 years old, was married before for 13 years and divorced for 11 and I raised three daughters alone. I just got married last Aug 1, 08 and moved to NJ. My saying is I don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. Because I too don't know. I lived for everyone else but me. Now I feel as though I am in this spot of sitting still and God is saying now you need to deal with you, you have no were to run. I am not working and all I'm doing is sitting home (well thats not all, house work and cooking). But anyway It's like I'm dealing with stuff that I thought I dealt with along with trying to find out who I am. And I don't know were to begin and when I read this it summed it up.

    I call myself a work in progress. I'm not were I want to be yet but I am further than were I was.

    May God continue to bless you because you are being a blessing to me.

    Thank You

  298. Lisa V. says:

    I'm a peace(ful) gal for sure with some control issues. : )

    Never quite saw myself as controlling but put myself in my work situation and that's me!

    Lisa V.
    Age 36
    Washington, NJ

  299. You must live inside of my head! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.

  300. Renee,

    You did it again!! You made us all feel so normal. I look back at times when I thought I'd figured out "what God wanted from me" and then something life-shattering happened that turned that dream upside down…..only to drive me deeper into God's Word and cause me to see life from a different perspective.

    I am at a crossroads once again.

    Hands open. Waiting for His guidance. Thanks for reminding me that I am "uniquely me" and that God does have a plan and a purpose for my life and for my pain. He will redeem my tears. I just know it…and He will bring to light what my passions are and how to use them for Him!!

    Thanks, Renee!

    Love you!

    See you in a few weeks!

    Tammy Nischan

  301. Anonymous says:

    As so many others have posted, this devotion definitely spoke to me as well. Thank you. And, like many of the others, I'm in my 40's – 45 – and still searching for what God's plan is for me. This may just be His way of leading me where He wants me to go. Thank you!

  302. Anonymous says:

    Thank God for leading me to this website today. I have been struggling these past few months, trying to figure out where I need to be in life, praying for guidance from Christ, to lead me in the right direction. Praying for an answer. Your devotion "The Real Me" on Proverbs 31 is my first step in finding that answer. I will study and read the materials you have suggested, hoping to clear my heart and mind of issues I'm still struggling with. Thank you for sharing your faith with me and others dealing with these struggles. God Bless You.

  303. Thank you so much for your devotion and your transparency. I'm 33 years old and still feel so lost and confused at times about the purpose of my life. I too have spent the vast majority of my life trying to please other people and trying to follow the paths of others. It has led to stress, feelings of inadequacy, and even stress-induced physical illness. I've been left with no real knowledge of who I am, what I enjoy, or what I am good at. I hope and pray that this devotion will be a catalyst for me to discover myself, as God designed me to be. Thank you again for allowing God to use you to speak truth into so many lives.


  304. I have really been struggling with comparison and finding out who I am in Christ…and this has really helped guide me in a positive direction. I definitely want to get the book/workbook. I feel it would help me out tremendously. Thanks for all you do…God Bless!

  305. We can all need guidance from time to time and Jesus provided it…be and make disciples of Christ.

    My husband and I began praying to be in His will and here we are in it! Praise God. Him who is above and in all things has us right where we should be even when we think we should be doing or being something else…

  306. Anonymous says:

    This really hit home for me today. I'm 32 and have spent my entire life doing what others have expected of me. The lord has been showing me that I need to find the real me and be who he created me to be. I praise God that he loves us so much not to leave us where we are.

    age 32
    Amarillo, TX

  307. Thanks so much for sharing such a wonderful devotion. I'm 45 years old and still not sure what God has planned for me. I love your point that God never intended for us to compete with each other but complete each other. Sometimes we women are our own worst enemy. My small group recently completed the study "Beauty by the Book" by Laurie Cole. We learned about different types of women and how we can be "Biblically Beautiful". I can't wait to share with them your devotion!

  308. Anonymous says:

    Thanks, Renee. I am 54 and still struggling with who I am and where God wants me to be. I've never felt I measured up to everyone else and believed that I was an "imposter" in both my professional and personal lives. I quit work over two years ago because of severe depression and during that time, I've realized I spent all my time trying to be all things to all people — wife, mother, employee. Who was I? What spiritual gifts do I possess? Do I have any? Does God have a plan for me or do I have any unique qualities that He can use? Renee, God has used your ministry to help me answer some of those questions, but I still don't know where He wants to use me. I know my passions, but what are my spiritual gifts? What am I good at? I see myself in all four personality types, which probably confirms my beliefs that I'm struggling with who I am. I pray God helps me see myself as He sees me and that I passionately follow His will for my life.


  309. Anonymous says:

    You completely talk about the way I feel. I am 37 years old and live in San Antonio, TX and still trying to figure who I really am and my purpose. I pray that God will be able to find who God created me to be.

  310. Anonymous says:

    My situation may be different than most, as I have pretty much always known who God intended for me to be and what he intended me to do with the strengths and gifts He's given me. I have struggled with accepting things in my life that have NOT been what I wanted them to be… however, I know that God's plan is always more perfect for us than our own plans. I just really want to use all that He has given me for His glory, but also I really want to be reconciled, content and happy with the life that I actually have….that doesn't line up at all with my own dreams, plans and wishes.

  311. I appreciated your devotional today. We've moved several times in the last 5 years, and though at one time I knew where God wanted me, I feel very unsure at this point. Constant moving seems to change you a bit each time, and I'm not really sure where I fit in. I feel a "stir in the soul" to be a part of ministry, but just not sure where that is. Thanks for your comments this morning!

  312. Renee,

    You've obviously struck a chord with many other women!

    I have been fascinated with personalities for many years and read the best of the best, taken tests and thought I had my personality all figured out. But the older I get, the less I see of some characteristics and more of others that don't seem to fit in the scheme. I am not terribly bothered by it, but am just BEING who I am right now.
    My thoughts have been on the life of Joseph for many months. He had a clear and unmistakeable gift and calling. God allowed him to go on a major detour in his life, perhaps to help shape and mold him and get him really focused. Joseph had to learn how to start at the bottom rung and be faithful in the little things before his DREAM was fulfilled.
    By the way, I am mentioning your blog on my own site today. Great article!

  313. Leighann says:


    Wow! I could have written your devotional this morning. Your words brought tears to my eyes as I read them because they truly echo my heart. I'm a working mom of a precious 7-year old boy. I have been searching since I graduated from college 18 years ago. Life gets so busy that we put those things down further on the list.

    I've just ordered your workbook Shaped for a Purpose. Is the CD the same material?

    Thanks so much and God bless!


  314. Anonymous says:

    pam.grass@wbrcae.com – age 40 – Maine

    First, thank you so much for your email I receive …it is a blessing and I always forward them on to friends for encouragement.

    After having breast cancer and going thru the chemo journey I seem to be evaluating just what God has in store for me these days.
    Is my accounting job really where I'm suppose to be…??? Still trying to figure it all out.

    Thank you for sharing!

  315. This is the first time I stopped to consider why i struggle. I believe it was God who brought me to this devotion. I am 31, a newly single mom and i have no idea who i am or what i am supposed to do? I am encouraged to know that i am not the only one out there.

  316. Anonymous says:

    Psalms 139 is one of my favorite passages and I read it over and over. I am 33 years old with a 5 year old son. I've always struggled with self-worth and comparing myself to others – not feeling like I am good enough, just not able to measure up. One day, not too long ago, I was bathing my son and as I was sitting there watching him play in the water, I began to thank God for this child – for the person he is, the gentleness and fun-loving boy. And as I was thanking God for him, I began to pray that as he grows, he keeps this gentle, kind, fun loving spirit that he has now as a child. And God stopped me in my prayer and said to me, "as much as you love your son for the person he is, I LOVE YOU FOR THE PERSON YOU ARE. You ARE special to me. Stop trying to measure up to other people. I created you and my works are WONDERFUL!"

  317. I loved this devotion! I linked to it from the Proverbs 31 devo. I also listen frequently to you & Lysa on the radio (New Life 91.9 – I live in a Charlotte 'burb). I'm 38 years old & still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! I have 2 college degrees, but haven't used them in years. I've homeschooled for 9 years, but other than that, I change jobs about once a year (part-time). I'm currently copyediting (for pay) and writing for Heart of the Matter (not for pay). I would LOVE to win this book! It would be great for my rising 10th grader, too.
    ~ Bethany L.

  318. Louann D (TN) says:

    My sister forwarded the devo from
    P31 site because I struggle with this very issue of wondering what is God's grand plan for my time here on earth. Interesting to see that so many others are in this same place…and at a similar age. I'm 48, single, no kids. Thanks for the encouragement and glad to find your blog. basketsr4u@aol.com

  319. Anonymous says:

    I really loved your devotion! I would say I am combination of Melancholy and Phlegmatic!. I love being around people but I also enjoy the Peace and alone time! This seems to be my quiet time with God when I can really focus and tune-in. I am 47 and proud of it! I live in Arkansas!

  320. Well, Renee, I believe my personality type(s) are a cross between Sanguine and Melancholy, (Which accounts for some interesting mood swings, I will add!) I identify with not knowing what I want to "be when I grow up." At 35 years of age, I have a stable job as a Medical Office Receptionist, but it is not something I would say I am passionate about.

    I've often thought about going back to school, but some serious bouts of depression over the last few years have left behind some fears that I won't be able to follow through. I have two beautiful children, a boy, 12 and girl, 8. They also bring some interesting challenges to the table, (like how do I balance a full-time job, motherhood, school, without falling flat on my face?????)

    Will you join me in prayer, as I seek what I'm supposed to do next? I know that my life is not my own. I belong to Jesus, and to the family He has blessed me with.

    Now, I will close, as I prepare to drag my exhausted self home, and figure out what to prepare for dinner on a hot, humid 95 degree day…I will hold up my tall glass of iced tea, and shout, "Cheers!"

    🙂 Rhea

  321. I was so encouraged when my best friend sent me your devotional and now am even more encouraged reading these comments. It always helps to know we're not alone. I am single mom who has been raising my daughter alone since she was 3 she's now 16 and all I ever think of is helping her achieve her dreams but as she's getting close to college and moving out, this idea of my unique purpose (beside raising her) has definitely been a burden on my heart

  322. There are an overwhelming number of us that are struggling in this area. I don't understand this. Are we as women more likely to have this problem? I am 50 years old, and I don't know what my "passion or purpose" is. Do we make so much of this nowadays? We are Mothers, Wives, Career Women and still we don't know who God created us to be? I just thought I'd ask…Why?

  323. I just finished reading Captivating it was a great book in explainging why we as women are the way we are. Why do we compare ourselves to others, why do we long to be romanced. So many times as women we do compare ourselves, if we'd just stop and be the person God created us to be and allowed God to captivate us and romance we'd flourish!

    I loved this post as I am 22 (from a smaller town in Arkansas)and just finished my undergraduate and for the past 2 months have prayed and asked God where do I go from here, what am I supposed to do next?

    Thanks for sharing!

  324. Anonymous says:

    I am 39 and I thought I had my life sown up at the start of the year, a happy marriage, two lovely kids a good job and a home to be proud of – but Jesus was only somewhere in the background – how wrong I was! Calamity struck! My husband walked out without explanation! My life fell into complete turmoil!

    Then, I started going back to church, my daughter is very involved with the church too – and although I'm still weathering the storm, I know God's got his hand in it all. Today when I read the devotional I felt YES! This is for me – I need to know what God wants me to do with my life – not just fumble about in the darkness – I really need to know God's will in my life. Thank you so much for showing me that I need to spend time praying about what God has in store for me.

    I pray today that God shows me the paths that I am to follow.


  325. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for this devotion! I can totally relate to your devotion and many responses from other women. I have never read your blog before but I'm sure that God directed be to it today! I would say that I am a cross between Phlegmatic and Melancholy. I have the book "Captivating" that someone mentioned but never was able to complete it. I think I will start it again. Thanks Renee!

    e-mail: dtoms@pa.net

  326. Anonymous says:

    There is so much I think I want to do. I really fit into each catagory in one way or another. I pride myself on being a Proverbs 31 woman but feel like there is so much more I can do. Just meeting the needs of everyone else can't be all there is. I know God has given me so many talents that never get tapped into. Most of my life is doing for others to the point there is no time left for what I want to do. Reading this artical has made me think about something I hardly ever think about… What do I want. I find peace in the fact the God has me where He wants me and I am doing what He wants me to do. After all, My footsteps are ordained by Him. I'm comfident that if He wants me to do other things he will open doors no man can shut and close doors no man can open.
    Ture enough we want THINGS but sometimes He keeps us from things that will only hurt us in the end.

  327. I'm definitely phlegmatic/melancholy. My question to the LORD is if I'm so strongly those (especially the part about being alone and quiet!), then why am I homeschooling 4 kids?!? Alone? Quiet? Not a chance! I smile about it now, but it really does wear on me in reality. Thanks for the post, Renee.

    Julie, 37

  328. This an area i struggle with alot especially when it comes to being a stay at home mom I love to be home and i know i am pouring all that God wants to give me for my children but i often wonder what is my purpose and what does God have for me thanks for your blog post this morning made me think alot ruthiekeegan@gmail.com

  329. I recently found your website / blog. Thank you for all that you do for the rest of us! I am a 44 year old mom with a soon to be 7 year old son, a husband, and 2 dogs. I feel that the place in my life right now is where I am supposed to be. Raising a son and being a good wife to my husband. I pray for guidance and wisdom, read my bible, read great blogs like yours. My prayer these days is asking our Father in heaven (the only father I have ever had in my life) to guide me to places and things that would honor Him and to do His work. I wake up daily with eyes wide open and amazed at what He brings into my life. Thank you.

  330. What an encouragement this post was to me. I turned 40 and still struggle with "what I want to be". I plan to seek the Lord deeper and His plans for me. Can you belive that just last night I was reading a book by Florence L. and the section was from Personality Plus! I found mine and my family's and it opened up so much to me. Then this morning, I found your post and drawing. Thanks again!

  331. Anonymous says:

    Just what I needed. Age 49, have always been there for everyone to make sure of their hopes and dreams. I though and searching for all that God wants me to be. I would love to have hopes and dreams that seemed to fade by the wayside over the years. I love my family and grandson. But I would like to get to know me and what God truly wants for this life. I am a sunday school teacher for 27 years and know that He has called me to this. I've been ill this summer for the past 2 months and all I told is that every test is normal and that stress has caught up with me. I have to rely on God daily for the strength to get up and function. He is so faithful..I am very interested in the personality traits. Thanks so much for your Proverbs 31 ministry.

  332. Anonymous says:

    God is so good to always bring the encouragement we need, and just at the moment we need it. He is so awesome! I just found your blog this morning after signing up for daily devos from Proverbs 31 site.

    What an encouragement your devo was to read today. (didn't get to it until today) I am 53 years old and slowly but surely am figuring out the purpose God had in mind when he formed me with the unique gifts, talents and passions he gave me. I used to think 53 was old, but I am excited for all the Lord has in store for my future. Not sure exactly what it is but I do know it will be using the passion he has put inside of me to encourage, motivate and help other women believe in themselves and soar towards their own dreams.

    Thank you for following God's design for you and sharing the wonderful encouragement that so many of us need to hear.

  333. Anonymous says:

    Well I just left my comment, but forgot to add my email address so that I could be entered into your contest.

    I am 53 and so excited about what God has in store for my future in helping other women. Not exactly sure of how that will look yet, but am watching and waiting for his daily direction.

    Thank you for your blog! First time I've been on your site. Thank you for following your unique God design and helping us. What a blessing you have been to me this morning.


  334. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your devotional. It seemed to awaken something in me that I've long avoided. My people-pleasing has crowded out my need to "find myself", and at 49 years old,I've grown comfortable in the same old routine.

    By the way, when I saw your picture, my first thought was, "I wish my hair could look like hers." Always comparing myself to others – never quite measuring up.


  335. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for this devotion! I'm 26 and still trying to figure out the real me. I pray that god will guide everyone struggling in this, and that He will reveal to us our purpose for His glory.


  336. Anonymous says:

    I have been searching for "me" for a few years now. It is so frustrating to not find it. I feel like it is right in front of me, but I cannot see it. The daily devotional I read that lead me to here, spoke volumes to me.
    I never thought of it as what God intends me to be. I know I am a wife, a mother, I have a job I go to 5 out of 7 days, I go to church and am a leader there. But…who am I? If all of that is gone, who am I?
    Thanks for the tools for my thinking about what God intends for me to be. I am thinking and searching!


  337. Anonymous says:

    Wow! I see myself in some of what you are writing. I read the four personality types and I have traits from all four. There is a
    3-way tie for #1!
    Thanks for your encouragement. I am a 50 year old, Jersey girl trying to start a "new life" after a recent divorce. Change is tough, especially when it chooses you and not the other way around. Honestly, I am trying to find myself and wonder if I truly knew the real me before this all happened. Looking back, I can see that I often was following the plan someone else had for me and never really learned how to make a plan for myself. I fall into the comparison trap, especially with my ex being remarried already and "on the outside" his world seems to be flourishing and he is living the life that I thought would be ours. My prayer is to "find" myself and become the true person that God created me to be and to learn to love myself because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My prayer is that in the midst of this chaotic transition of life "Love and truth will meet; justice and peace will kiss." (Psalm 85:11 New American Bible)
    I guess the main problem (challenge) is that I get overwhelmed and I don't know where to start! I long to know my God given purpose in my life and to find my heart's desire for my life. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us and letting the Lord work through you! Your words help to remind me that I am not alone in all of this.

  338. Anonymous says:

    Thank you, Renee, for the beautiful devotions, it is so helpful to me when I am only recently embarking on this exciting journey of finding out more about how God made me & how He wants to use me more.
    I am 48, mother o six,living in Australia & involved in missionary work for the last half of my life, so isn't it funny that I am now getting back in touch on this subject & realising there is still more to discover & thrill to, even though I have loved & cherished these years & all that He has done in my life?
    Thank you again, I would love to read your book, & wish you all the best in your life & ministry!
    Tania,at tan_mazz61@yahoo.com.au

  339. Anonymous says:

    I know it may be too late to enter the drawing, but that's ok… (smile)

    I wanted to comment on this writing. When I first read the "Encouragement for Today' dated on 7/16, I just thought to skim through it and go on and start working (I get these at work as well as at home). Anyway, I read it a little more closely than normal, then decided to take it a step further and read the attached writing.

    Anyway, I am 26 years old, and I am trying to figure out who I am. So many people tell me 'oh, you are young, you have time'. But I pleasantly disagree. None of us know how much time we have. We are all thankful that we get another day. So, with that said, I want to get to know me. I am a single woman and have been for some months now. And at first, I was so worried about not getting married or being lonely, but I have come to appreciate and embrace the opportunity that God has given me (this MUCH needed space) to have time with him and get to know me. I am learning my strengths, weakness, desires, and fears. It's scary!!! LOL, but on the other hand, it has been a blessing. I'm still learning, but I am getting there. I am on the journey that I'm not ready to get off of yet. I'm slowly piecing together what I would like to do with my life on this earth…..I praise God for that!

    So to all of the beautiful women reading this: you will find it – just get on the journey and stay there. Sometimes you may feel at a standstill but don't give up or get discouraged. Find that quiet time that you need to be alone with God. Turn off the TV once or twice (or even more) per week (LOL, I'm working on that one – but it is very beneficial). And pray to God for the guidance you need to live your best life. And no matter what age you are, you can find it! God bless you all!


  340. Anonymous says:

    I enjoyed your devotion, but really appreciated all the comments as well. I am 49 and glad to know that am not alone in my search for myself.

  341. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your ministry! I am 36 and still growing and learning about myself along with the other readers. I am a stay at home mom of 2- ages 4 and 18mos and spend so much of my time wondering if I'm doing this parenting thing right. Am I going to totally mess us my kids?? Being a mom is more draining than I ever thought it would be. I strive for peace and perfection- according to your questions earlier- and those two things are kind of polar opposites of having little ones!…. actually polar opposites of life!

    Our pastor gave some great advice on mother's day. He said, we moms lose our lives for our children- it's in us, it's what we do- but Christ is asking us to lose our lives for him, not our kids. So, that's what I'm in hopes of doing; and in the process, teach my kids how to do that, too.

    Your blog is a good reminder to me that I do need to spend more time with my Father, so I can better know what I can do for him being uniquely me!

    ally- 36 from Kansas City

  342. Renee,
    This was SO good. Thanks for sharing.
    Love you Girl. A lot.

  343. Anonymous says:

    I, too, struggle with finding what really makes me happy and what my purpose is. I have spent so much time trying to make other's happy, doing works of service, thinking I was doing "God's work." It wasn't until I finally stopped doing everything for everyone, trying to please everyone, that I realized I wasn't happy or fulfilled at all. I am now slowing down and allowing God to move first, then I follow. I still am not sure of where God wants me to be, but I am doing a much better job of letting Him show me the way. It is freeing to let God be in control and show me the way, instead of thinking I have to know it all.
    I am Susan from Genesee, Wisconsin sgiesie@wi.rr.com

  344. Really encouraging!,right now I am reading a book called " Grand Weaver"… and accidentally stopped at your blog, it was amazing.

  345. Amazing. I was just in tears before reading your devotion asking God if he can hear me… I am a Choleric/Sanguine and also a ENTP personality. I have been been an emotional wreck this week. I am in a new career again!! I still after all these years not found what I really love. I am not sure what God has planned for me. I don't honestly think I even like to work, but maybe because I still haven't found what I loved. Can you see my confusion!! I do love being home with my three girls and spending time with my husband. I have been working from home doing so many different things. I know I LOVE to travel with my family, but of course that costs $$$ we don't have. That is my Fun! I am so confused, but I know that I am on the right track because I would have never read this devotion if God was not listening. One step at a time right. Thank you Renee for being a bridge. God Bless

  346. Anonymous says:

    so what if god made a mistake and im am nothing

  347. Anonymous says:

    This devotion resonated. I have been a people pleaser for as long as I can remember. Always volunteering and helping others. I was 50 before I finally realized the only way to know God's will for me was to ask him and listen for his response. What a blessing to find that this is my gift and what God has always wanted for me. I just needed to remember that he wanted me to be happy, that I couldn't forget and sacrifice myself helping and encouraging others. I allow myself me time now, I follow my interests looking for a passion and pray for balance. Today I am happier, more fulfilled, and I give myself credit for the things I do. I am not always in the red trying to earn my self-worth through/in service to others. To God be the glory. Praise him!!


  348. Anonymous says:

    I enjoy the devotions from Proverbs 31 Ministries and tie them in with my own devotion time. Thank you so much for sharing; it has been a blessing. I am 43, soon will be celebrating our 16th Wedding Anniversary. He is very good to me; but wish he would return to church with me. Please pray for him.

  349. Anonymous says:

    Hi my name is Holly. I am 35 and this was so helpful. I recently divorced and I feel so lost and have no idea what my purpose is or who I am. Thank you for your post – it was helpful….I hope to read more however this is just what I needed today. hollyehop@yahoo.com

  350. Anonymous says:

    HI! I'm about to be 29 in oct. and can totally relate.I have a question what if you can relate to more than one of the personalities? my email is dejesusteresa@ymail.com God bless you and what you do!

  351. I love this post. I am a 38 year old woman with a house full of children and a precious husband. I used to think I knew what my purpose was, what God's plan for me was. I'm just not so sure anymore. I thought I was the only one who didn't know what God would have me to do. What His purpose was for my life. Like I was wandering in the desert doing what I thought I should be doing and never quite knowing if it was Gods will.

    Thank you for the beautiful post and the encouragement.

  352. Anonymous says:

    I, too, am struggling with just what my purpose is here on earth. I'm 57. I have two grown children, one lives here on earth and the other lives in Heaven. Since losing my son 4 months ago, my world has been turned upside down, my heart has been broken, sadness and despair are constants. I don't understand God's purpose for my life. I am struggling. I want to melt away but I also know God does have a purpose in my life and I'm desperately searching for it. I cannot imagine living the rest of my life without my son and without a purpose which will bring some sort of "good" to his passing.


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