Today is another day where I can’t just write what I want to say – I need to “show and tell” you. In today’s short video message below I share how God walked me through a process of looking back with courage – so I could move forward with hope. He helped me identify things I didn’t even know were affecting me and gently led my heart on a journey towards freedom – showing me how to of let go of the pain from my yesterdays so I could live with confident hope in my todays… and tomorrows.

{Are you a note-taker? If so, I created “Video Message Notes” in a PDF format here or in a MSWord doc here, just for you. Even included key verses and blanks to fill in.}

Today’s Giveaway:
I’m giving away 3 Confident Heart gift packs for 3 of you. Each one includes a copy of my book, A Confident Heart {for you or a friend?}, my “Rest Assured” message on CD and a Starbucks gift card!

Let’s Connect {and how to enter today’s drawing}:
I’d love to hear how God speaks to you through today’s video message… and this is an easy way to enter today’s giveaway too. Just click “share your thoughts” right below this post and do just that.  I’ll be here reading and praying over each of you and  your stories. {Also, I know the timelines I encourage you to create might sound overwhelming or scary,  so I recorded a little video message to talk/walk you through that process – If you’d like to hear more click here to watch it after you share your thoughts below.}

For More Daily Encouragement join my Confident Heart Facebook page.

Receive My Posts in Your Inbox
If you aren’t already a subscriber, sign up in my right sidebar where it says “Receive Email Updates” — and you won’t miss a thing! I’ve got more giveaways, short video messages and lots of encouraging posts I’m working on for the coming weeks.

Please share your thoughts about Chapter 4 here – under our Monday Morning blog post. I’ve closed comments on this one so they will all be together in one place.

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“In the security of our relationship with Christ, God wants us to ask questions and look for answers that usher us into the depths of His redeeming love. He wants to give us the courage to live in the promise that He offers hope for our future despite the pain of our past.”
from Chapter 4, A Confident Heart

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Our Word for the week: HOPE
(Download in a PDF or download in MSWord). Please print it and post it everywhere this week.

HIS Word for us this week:
“May the God of hope fill [me] with all joy and peace as [I] trust in him, so that [I] may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13, NIV

Today’s Assignment:
Read the prayer at the end of Chapter 4 to begin your day. Then start or continue reading chapter 4. Remember to take your time and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart.

Connecting in Community:
As we read chapter4 this week, let’s share here – answers to the questions, sentences we’re highlighting, thoughts we’re thinking, feelings and fears we’re experiencing. This can be a hard chapter for some because it addresses our past and our pain. Let’s pray for each other each day and commit to memorize this week’s verse together! If you are in, leave a comment by clicking on “share your thoughts” and tell us how you plan to memorize it. I’m writing it on a ceramic plate in my kitchen. I’ll be praying it for you every time I see it.

Whether someone tells you today or not – You matter. What you do as a mom makes a difference. God sees you and your sacrificial love touches His heart. It touches mine too and today I honor you and send my love your way. Praying He will infuse you with strength, lavish you with dignity, and remind you of the value you have in His eyes (even if they forget to send flowers, cards or say things that make you feel that appreciate you long for.)

And for my precious friends who may not be moms - I celebrate and thank Jesus for you today, too. You hold the beauty of a heart that gives, loves, nurtures, creates, sacrifices and invests. As a woman, you have the heart of a mom. And though your arms or your womb may not carry the child you long for, YOU are celebrated and cherished in our hearts today.

Happy Mothers Day!

Italicized sentences are from Chapter 3 of A Confident Heart

Until our hearts find complete security and significance in God’s unconditional love, we will constantly turn to other lovers and never be satisfied.

Although I stood before family and friends professing my love and faithfulness to my husband, three years later I found myself trying to fill my emptiness in the arms of another man.

When the closed door of a previous relationship opened I ran through it. On Wednesday I was serving on our church’s youth team and by Saturday I was in between the sheets of a bed in a cheap hotel. The result of my affair led to a pregnancy I knew was from the other man since my husband had undergone a vasectomy.

Driving out of an abortion clinic and heading home to my unsuspecting husband, I wondered how I’d gotten to this place. Here I was a Christian wife and mom who had compromised my beliefs in more ways than one. Looking to fill my void with anything but Jesus, I walked further and further away from the One I needed most.

By being honest about her life and the lies she believed, she could start turning toward the Truth. She could bring the thirst of her heart to Him. Only then would she find confidence in the power of His love and start living in the security of His promises.

I ended my affair soon after the reality of my abortion set in. It shook my Jesus-loving heart to the core. One morning, after everyone was out of the house, I turned on some worship music, got down on my knees and began to sob.  Raising my hands toward heaven, I told God, “If I lose everything – my marriage, my kids, my friends, my reputation, but I still have YOU, I’ll be okay.”

Admitting all the lies I had told and believed, I got gut-honest with God that day. And in that place of truth, I was set free and could then turn toward Jesus and away from my life of sin. Like Renee wrote, I could bring the thirst of my heart to Him. That’s what I did — I brought my parched soul to the only One capable of filling me and changing my mess of a life.

Three years later, I felt God leading me to tell my husband about my affair and abortion. We’d attended two marriage conferences during the in-between years and  I couldn’t keep my secret any longer. Deep pain was evident on his face and in his tears. My heart broke once again over my affair as I listened to my husband process my choices.

Still in shock, he told me that while I was having my affair he too had been involved in one.  I sat there stunned, silent and ticked off at God. How had He not prepared me for this moment of my husband’s truth? I felt instant emptiness, but this time I made the choice to bow my heart before Jesus and ask Him to help me.

Jesus came to give us more than salvation. He wants us to experience complete satisfaction in Him.

These words from chapter 3 resonate deeply with my soul. Although, I had attended Christian school from kindergarten though graduation in 1988; went to church on Sundays and returned on Wednesdays and knew countless Bible stories by heart, what I lacked was a relationship with my King.

Sitting there with my husband trying to process his unfaithfulness, God let me know He is the only One that could take my empty, broken heart and fill it with His unconditional love and confidence that I had sought in all the wrong places.

I love what Renee asked us this week, and how she encouraged us to write our own “when-then” statements:

So what do we do when our hearts start tossing and turning with emptiness and uncertainty? We need to stop and ask Jesus to help us see the worth we are placing in other things and the worth we are seeking in other people and shift our reliance to Him instead.

{Here are mine}

When I start to feel like my marriage is not giving me what I deserve then I will turn to God and ask Him to be my portion.

When I feel tempted to return to a life of emptiness and rely on my old patterns of comfort and fulfillment then I will praise God for what He has brought me from and remind myself that I am worthy of the sacrifice of the cross.

Lasting security comes when we bring the empty well of our hearts to Jesus and ask Him to fill and fulfill us with the security of His unfailing love.

It’s been nine years since the day of my and my husband’s confessions. Our marriage is far from perfect, but with God’s help we have walked through the process of forgiveness and restoration. My husband and I serve at a marriage conference every spring and God has used our mistakes to help other couples realize He is much bigger than any circumstance we face. He has also taken the shame and regret of my abortion and used it for His glory by calling me to be part of an abortion ministry, “Surrendering the Secret,” where I now serve as a leader.

I have no idea what your story it, but please believe this woman who almost lost everything for nothing. Jesus is worth seeking and giving Him a chance to fill up all the empty places of your life. If He can look at an unfaithful wife and compromising mom in Nebraska and see beauty instead of ugly then anyone is within reach of being embraced by His amazing grace.

You need to know that God wants you. There is no sin too heavy to stay nailed to the beams of the cross. You are the reason He trekked His way to Calvary and you are worth every step He took!

***
Thank you Lelia, for the courage and risk it takes tell your story – so raw, so real yet so full of His redemption. I see and love Jesus in you!

Your Turn: Will you take a minute to thank Lelia, and let us both know what has risen to the surface of your heart as you read her story or  Chapter 3 this week?  Just click  “share your thoughts”  below this post and do just that. Even sharing some of the answers to our end of chapter questions is great too. This is the place that truly connects us and makes our Confident Heart “community” so special. {Love you guys so much!} And if you are reading this via email, click here to visit my website and connect in community.

Please {like pretty please even if you don’t normally watch video posts} click the arrow below to “hear” today’s message from my heart to yours. I don’t want another day to go by without you knowing this…

{Are you a note-taker? If so, I created “Video Message Notes” in a PDF and in MSWord just for you. Even included blanks to fill in.

Today’s Giveaway:
Two friends of mine who serve behind the scenes and are part of our online study, [thank you Donna & Veronica] have donated copies of my book to giveaway today.  Together we created 5 gift packs for 5 of you. Each one includes a copy of my book, A Confident Heart {for you or a friend?} and my testimony/teaching message on CD, Letting God Fill My Empty Places. 

Let’s Connect {and how to enter today’s drawing}:
I’d love to hear your thoughts about today’s message… and this is an easy way to enter today’s giveaway too. Just click “share your thoughts” right below this post and do just that – share your thoughts. {I love to read them! And pray over you when I do.} I’ll be there reading and sharing my heart with you too.

For More Daily Encouragement join my Confident Heart Facebook page.

Receive My Posts in Your Inbox
If you aren’t already a subscriber, sign up in my right sidebar where it says “Receive Email Updates” — and you won’t miss a thing! I’ve got more giveaways, short video messages and lots of encouraging posts I’m working on for the coming weeks.

This graphic is part of our verse for the week.
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Our Verse for the Week: “Satisfy [me] in the morning with your unfailing love, that [I] may sing for joy and be glad all [my] days…for I have put my trust in you.” Psalm 90:14, 143:8b, NIV

Our Word for the Week: SATISFIED (Download in a PDF or download in MSWord). Please print it and post it everywhere so you can remember that God’s love can satisfy the thirst of your soul!

Our Assignment for Today:

• Start or continue reading chapter 3. Remember, take your time and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart. 
• Let’s commit to memorize this week’s verse together!

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My friend Heather is a Word girl!! When she was in college she performed in over 14 plays and memorized hundreds of lines, so I’ve asked her to share some tips to help us hide God’s Word in our hearts this week. Here are a few she shared. I’ll post more each week.

Ideas for Memorizing Scripture

• Write the scripture on several index cards or post-it notes and place them in areas where you will see them frequently throughout the day. Examples: on the bathroom mirror, refrigerator door, in the car, at work, etc…
• Get a stack of index cards and on each one write one or two words from the verse, including the reference. Shuffle them up and see if you can put them in the correct order again. Save the cards and reuse common words found in other verses.
• Send the verse to friends and family by typing, texting, or writing it out by hand. You can look at the verse, but do not copy and paste! Try writing it at least once a day.
• Study with a friend, your spouse, or teach it to your kids! Quiz each other and keep each other on track. What a great way for families to spend time in the Word together!
• Change the wall paper on your computer to an image that has your Bible verse.

Connecting in Community: Wanna commit to memorize this week’s verse together?! If you are in, leave a comment by clicking on “share your thoughts” and tell us how you plan to memorize it. Also, if you have any other creative ways to memorize scripture please share that, too. I’ll be back Weds with  a video message that I’m so excited to share with you!! {If you’re reading this via email, click here to return to my website to commit and connect.}

From reading your thoughts  in the comments on Monday’s post, I think we can all realize it’s hard for most of us to keep our guard up and shy away from lettings others in – especially when we need their help, prayers or encouragement.

As I shared in Chapter 2, “Sometimes I think we tell people we’re fine even when we’re not, because we want to be. Or we hope that by saying we are fine, eventually we will be. Other times we act like we’re fine because others expect us to be. And I love how so many of you admitted you also have days when hormones or grumpy-ness trump all good manners and anyone within ten feet knows you are not fine. In fact, what you really meant in code is that you are Frazzled, Irritated, Neurotic, and Exhausted!”

Today, I want you to meet and hear from my friend, Melanie from Only a Breath. She’s the one who created our really cute Online Study blog button (see my sidebar if you want one)!  In it she challenges us to take off the “I’m Fine” mask and be real with God, each other and especially ourselves about how we’re really doing.

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… She walks the hallway, fighting back tears that threaten to well up again. It’s been a long night, filled with betrayal and disappointment. Her future is uncertain. Back at the office, she tries to maintain normalcy. When eyes met, she is faced with another routine, “How are you?”

“I’m fine”, she answers, with a plastic smile that hides her pain.

… Across town, a young father shakes hands with the fourth interviewer that month. “Thank you for your time.”he says. On the way home, his wife calls to see if there’ s any hope for the job they’ve been praying for…for so long. They have mouths to feed, children to raise, a car on its last miles… “It will be fine”, he assures her. As he hangs up, he hangs his head in despair.

… A young, single mom cuddles her baby on the park bench. She holds her boy close, surrounded by happy couples with smiling children. She never expected to raise her child alone. The pain is sometimes too much to bear. Will she ever feel that she belongs? That she is wanted? Loved? Beautiful?

“We will be fine she whispers into his soft ear, surrounded by whisps of fine, brown hair.

“I’m fine…”

“We’re fine…”

“Doing great…”

In Chapter 2, Renee invites us to take off the “I’m fine” mask. But she also acknowledges just how scary it is to expose the pain that keeps us up, haunts us like nightmares, and threatens each breath of hope.

… but we’re fine.

Or are we?

Could we take off the mask that we, especially as Christians, live the “fairy tale”? We are certainly blessed, in every circumstance guarded by the Father, but honestly, in the deepest parts, we aren’t fine.

I’m not fine.

If I took off the “I’m fine” mask, would you think less of me, or would you think I’m … human?

We don’t have it all under control, and I can’t help but think that when we act like we do, we basically tell God that we don’t need him.

We’ve got this.

By pretending we’re “fine” we tell others something must be wrong with them if they are hurting… because we certainly are not hurting.

We’re fine.

What if we let someone else in? What if we said, “I’m hurting, and the details aren’t important, but would you please pray for me? I would really appreciate that.” Could that help them, in return, reach out to someone else when they are hurting?

Do we need to grant one another permission to not be fine?

Could we come broken before the Father, and cry out for His mercy and strength? He did promise to never leave us or forsake us. Even when we don’t feel it, could we still cling to His promise and claim it?

He knows we’re not fine.

Could the trials be the very thing that break the strings holding on our mask, allowing it to fall to the ground so we cling to Him a little tighter?

The truth is…

We aren’t fine… We are forgiven.

We aren’t in control… We are held by the hands that control our very heartbeat.

We aren’t invincible… We are made to look to the only One who can heal the broken.

As a sisterhood of hearts seeking our confidence in HIM, let’s take off our masks today. At least here with each other. And maybe with just one other person we meet this week. I have a feeling someone needs to see the battle wounds and scars we carry in order for them to stop pretending and seek His help too.

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

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Thank you so much Melanie, for reminding me and all of us again today that God’s grace is sufficient.  God’s grace can be my sufficient… if I let it be.

Today’s Assignment:

• Continue or finish reading chapter 2 and answer end of chapter questions. Then come back and share with us what God is showing you about how His perfect love changes everything – especially the pressure to be it all, do it all and know it all – all at the same time.
  

Connect in Community:

• Please “Share Your Thoughts” below this post. Just click those words and do just that. (Remember if you are reading this in an email, click on the title “I’m Fine…really”  at the top of the post to visit my website and connect with our ACH community! (This is such a valuable part of this study. My favorite part!!)
  

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  Winners of Last Friday’s Give-away

   Grace, Barbara Milburn, Leslie S.

  If you didn’t win, remember you can download Chad’s
  Song of Prayer on Itunes ($1.99) or  Amazon ($.89)

Want to receive my blog posts in your inbox?
If you aren’t already a subscriber, sign up in the top of my right sidebar where it says “Receive Email Updates” — that way you won’t miss a thing!

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From Chapter 2, A Confident Heart

“Jesus knew Sam’s (the Samaritan woman’s) story and He knows yours. The Greek word for “know” is yada. It means a deep emotional experience; a bonding between two people when one truly feels the emotions of the other. Jesus knows your pain, fears, doubts, and disappointments. He understands your dreams and desires.

Although some of us feel uncomfortable that God knows so much about us, it is good to be known, to be listened to and not judged. Jesus is the only One who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are. We can offer nothing but our presence, and He will desire us just the same…

There are many religions but did you know that Christianity is the only faith that offers a relationship with the living God? We don’t just know about our God; our God wants us to know Him. And we were created for that kind of relationship.

Jesus created us to have lasting soul-security in knowing we are valued and pursued by the One who knows and loves us—the One who created our inmost being and wove us together in our mother’s womb (Ps. 139:13). Have you let the gospel of God’s grace move from your head to your heart, so that you know without a doubt you are known intimately and loved completely by God?” (p. 40 printed copy)

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Our word this week is  “Known”

Our verse of the week is Jeremiah 1:5 - “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)

This week’s video message is below. Please click the arrow to watch it  - all the way through. You’ll be so glad you did.

(from video script)

I WANT TO BE KNOWN
I want someone to look at my face
And not just see two eyes, a nose,
a mouth and two ears
But to see all that I am, and could be
all my hopes, loves and fears…

And YOU know me
You actually know me
all of me and everything about me
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread
My past and my future, all I am and could be
You tell me everything,
You tell me about ME
And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
Coming from Youu brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation
I’ve heard of One to come
who could save a wretch like me
And here in my presence, You say
I AM HE…

(read full script here)

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Today’s Assignment:

• Download Free Printable PDF of this week’s word and verse — or find it here in a Word doc format.. Please print it and post it everywhere so you can remember God KNOWs YOU and He loves you!!

• Read this week’s memory verse (Jeremiah 1:5). Ask God to remind you all week that He knows the way you long to be known, pursued and loved!

• Start or continue reading chapter 2. Remember, take your time and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart.

Connect in Community:

What about today’s video or sentences in Chapter 2 resonate most with you?

• Please click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post and do just that.  (Remember to go to my website to do this)
• Optional: I’d love for you to share one of them on our Confident Heart Community Page and/or share them with me on Twitter (@reneesswope). I’d love to retweet them! Also let’s use #AConfidentHeart so we can encourage one another and find them easily.

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I’ll announce last week’s winners in my Weds. post.

That’s why I included a prayer, at the end of each chapter, weaving together Scriptures from that chapter and others I sensed God wanted us to engrave on our hearts.

“Praying God’s Word has been one of the most life-changing ways I’ve learned to live in the security of His promises…and isn’t that what we all want?

“One way God tells us that confidence will come is when we ask Him for what is already part of His will. ‘This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us’ (1 John 5:14 NASB). So there you go: we can be confident we are praying God’s will when we pray God’s Word!” p.25

But that’s not all.

Romans 10:17 tells us that “faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ” so let’s pray these promises out loud again and again.

Out loud. Yes, even if it seems weird. Find somewhere you can be alone to speak these truths where you can hear them, and let them echo in your heart

Trust me, it makes a difference.

“When we pray God’s words out loud, and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts and writes them in our thoughts. We internalize God’s truth and our faith grows as we are transformed from the inside out!” p.25

Let’s pray this week’s prayer {together}:

Lord, I pray that You would give me a confident heart in Christ. Take me beyond believing in You to truly believing You. Help me rely on the power of Your promises and live like they are true. You say blessed is the one who trusts in You and whose hope and confidence are found in You. Those who hope in You will not be disappointed, because You work all things together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose.

When self-doubt tells me I can’t overcome my insecurities, I will believe Your promise that all things are possible to whoever believes. I will not throw away my confidence, because You say it will be richly rewarded. I will persevere so that when I have done the will of God, I will receive what You have promised. My confidence is in Christ and I am no longer one who shrinks back and is destroyed, but one who believes and is saved! In Jesus’ name, Amen.  {See Jeremiah 17:7; Isaiah 49:23; Romans 8:28; Mark 9:23; Hebrews 10:35–36, 39}

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{Special Gift & GiveAway}

Chad Lawson, my friend, award-winning composer and pianist , has graciously shared his beautiful, Spirit-filled Song of Prayer below. Watch and listen below for FREE. {If you’re reading this via email please click here to visit my website to watch}.Friend, you don’t want to miss this – trust me. 

Even though it will probably be hard at first, please pause to soak in this God-gift that was filmed while Chad listened to the Holy Spirit. Chad simply played what God laid on his heart. You’ll see the joy of Christ in Chad’s smile but more than anything, you’ll experience the peace of God’s presence through his music.

You can find and download A Song of Prayer on Itunes ($1.99) or  Amazon ($.89)

{Today’s Give-Away}
3 Special Order Song of Prayer CDs

To enter to win one: Click “share your thoughts” below this post and describe how you felt or what you sensed God whisper as you listened to Chad’s Song of Prayer. Also share one or two of your answers to questions you feel comfortable sharing about from the end of Chapter 1.

Remember, if you’re reading this via email please click here to visit my website and participate. All entries must be put in the “share your thoughts” section.