When Pain from Yesterday Robs Us of Hope for Tomorrow

She said God wanted to heal my past hurts and use my pain to comfort others with the same hope He’d give me. But I didn’t want anyone to know about the pain of my past. I didn’t want to talk about it or deal with it. I was ashamed of it and wanted it to go away.

There were obviously things I needed to deal with, but I was afraid I’d fall apart or slip back into a depression if I let it all surface. I also feared people would feel sorry for me or judge me.

What about you? Where has your heart been and what you have been through? Are there things you’ve done or things done to you that have left you feeling hopeless?

Although we can’t go back and change the circumstances or relationships that have wounded us, we can go back and process the pain with Jesus. In fact, we won’t move forward with God until we do.

Left unresolved, the pain from yesterday will keep us from having confident hope for tomorrow. Yet, with Jesus, we can find the fullness of Healing — the restoration of Hope. But it’s not something we can hurry through. It’s a journey. Here is part of the process God used in my life (that I share in Chapter 4). I’m praying it will help be the same for you:

  • First, ask God to show you the broken places in your past you have carried into your future.
  • Then, make a time line of your life with key events, and write down any painful emotions and memories.
  • Next, ask the Holy Spirit to remind you where you have been, what those experiences and relationships have caused, how far from God they took you, and how they hurt you and others.

One of the first places God showed me that needed healing and hope was my marriage. Sadly, after about seven years, I started feeling a lot of anger and developing a critical spirit towards my husband. As I went through this process, the Holy Spirit showed me that years of disappointment as a child who in a broken home with a broken heart had led to loss. I had never grieved the happily-ever-after I longed for but didn’t have. My broken dreams had become bitter expectations and I basically wanted expected my husband to make up for all my dad had never been as a father to me, or as a husband to my mom.

Bound and determined to create my own version of a happily-ever-after, I became critical and controlling in my marriage. I had anger and fear festering in my heart which led to unrealistic expectations that erupted in the form of critical words toward JJ, telling him how to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be. You see I thought he could provide the security and shelter for the little-girl-heart that was still crushed inside my adult body. And in doing so, put my broken dreams back together.

God showed me that wasn’t the answer. Instead, I needed to forgive my father and release my feelings of bitterness, abandonment, disappointment, and hurt. I also needed to confess the sin of my unrealistic expectations and let go of what I thought was my right to a “happily-ever-after.”

And I needed to find my security and hope in God alone by letting Him be the Father I longed for. I needed to grieve some of the things I wanted that I would never have. I also needed to invite God into those hurting places so He could bind up my broken heart and set me free from captivity to my fear that I would never have a happy ending.

  • Once you’ve written your timeline and asked the Holy Spirit to remind you where you have been, what those experiences and relationships have caused, how far from God they took you, and how they hurt you and others, invite God to enter into those memories.
  • Give yourself time to grieve your losses. Ask Jesus to heal them with the power of His Holy Spirit as you focus your thoughts on transforming truths in His Word. It’s the Living Word and the written word that has the power to heal and change us.
  • As God shows you broken places, ask Him to bind up every wound with His healing touch and set you free from captivity that has held you until now.
  • Find promises to claim, to memorize and to pray out loud over your heart. Cry if you need. And take time to heal so you can find hope again.

Sweet friend, I know this isn’t easy but I know it’s true and worth what it takes. God’s power is perfected in the broken places we consider to be our greatest weaknesses—our most vulnerable emotions we don’t want anyone to know about. In those hiding places, God calls us out of captivity. When we’re willing to let Him, He brings hope for our future despite the pain of our past.

____________________

Is there one area of your life that you can see pain from the past needs to be processed with Jesus in this way? Click on “Share Your Thoughts” below and do just that. I love hearing from you and praying for you.

Also, your little note will also be a way for me to enter you to win a copy of my new book, A Confident Heart and the conference call series that is part of Melissa Taylor’s online study of A Confident Heart.

PS. Have you joined Melissa Taylor’s online study of A Confident Heart yet? It just got started and there is plenty of room for you!! Share your thoughts below to enter to win, and then go here to find out more.

About Renee

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, story-teller, heart-encourager and grace-needer. She's also a wife, mom, friend, daughter and author of A Confident Heart, a Retailers Choice Award winning book that became a best-seller and has been published in six languages, with over 150,000 copies sold. Renee is speaks around the country at women's events and and serves on the writing team for DaySpring’s inCourage blog. For twenty years, Renee served in leadership at Proverbs 31 Ministries and as former co-host of the ministry's radio program, “Everyday Life with Lysa & Renee.

Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing your insight. I have been sweeping under the rug the disappointments and hurts for a long time now. Every fall they come up but I stuff them down. In August, I decided I would participate in the online Bible study. I hadn’t anticipated on how hard I would find it to be. I know I need to work on these painful issues to be be able to be free and confident….yet the familiarity of the pain is easier than the work that lies ahead of me. Today I felt like giving up and the Proverbs 31 devotional was what I needed to hear to keep on working on this process. I also called a friend to keep me accountable on my study. I am hopeful that with God’s help I can follow His plan to completion.

    • This was such a blessing and I will be making my timeline. I have (and continue) to have many disappoingments. This past year has been such a challenge, and I am finding the study of the Confident Heart helpful. I am going through a divorce that has had extreme emotional abuse over the years, finally got the courage to leave. The affects of the years of abuse and the impact to myself and my children with the divorce has been crushing. God has been so good through it all, but the failures of the past do haunt me. I look foward to the excercise.

  2. You are so right that He is the Hope of our lives. I know I would never have survived – and thrived in life without Him. He has held me together through child abuse, abandonment, and brutal rape as an adult. It was only Him – and I just got out of His way and let Him be my strength, my hope. and my joy. It is so difficult, yet so simple. Just let Him – just let Him care for you and love you. Crawl in His lap and let Him hug you close and clothe you in His Love.

  3. Your comments on your marriage really spoke to my heart. I am married to the most tolerant man on the earth, yet I constantly harp at him. Your words allowed me to see why it is I do this. Thanking for sharing these deeply personal thoughts and most especially, how you worked through them. God bless, Renee

  4. This is what I needed…I find myself doing those exact things to my husband…my wonderful husband, but because how I let guys treat me in my past…my heart hardens over things I expect and don’t get. I’m printing this for reminders of how to work on these issues. Thank you!

  5. Thank you so much Renee. I am in the Bible Study and can’t wait. I love how you are showing us how to start the process. I am determined to be free and to live with a Confident Heart. Sweet Blessings to you for sharing your heart with us. Our God is so good and He wants ALL His promises fulfilled in each of our lives.

  6. Thank you for this message today, Renee. I married a non-Christian man from another country, and when we faced difficulties, I kept all the disappointment to myself, until I almost burst, and so they came out at inappropriate times. My marriage unraveled through the broken promises and losses we struggled through. We originally married secretly because it was against the rules of his military (and dangerous for his family) and our divorce was just as secretive, but then due to my shame. It was six months before I told anyone and before it got back to my family. I was still living overseas at the time. But this chapter also helped to reinforce what I already knew; I always wanted people to like me, and yet I never felt I measured up – even in elementary school! I am going through the questions and trying to sort through my thoughts….

  7. I have written one of your sentences in my Bible cover to remind me to give every detail to my Lord.” We find God’s plans when we surrender ours to Him each day.” This just lept off the page to me, and as always, God provided the words I needed for this time of uncertainty. Thank you for this devotion!

  8. Renee,

    Your devotions always seem to speak right to me. I have had disappointments in my past and people saying negative things about me that still cause hurt after many years. I need to once and for all forgive them and never turn back, but those words just always seem to sneak back into my mind, bringing me down. I would love to win a copy of your book, I did the 7 day doubt diet and am signed up for Melissa’s bible study, I just keep praying I will win a copy! Thank you Renee and my prayers have been with you during this tough time you’ve been going through.

    God bless,

    Emily

  9. I enjoyed what you said here today. It ministered to my heart. I started the Bible study too and I know this is going to be a great study. Thank you for your encouragement in God’s Word.

  10. Beautifully written. Thanks.

  11. It’s never easy going back through the past and bringing up all the pain.
    My three best friends also thought that God wanted to heal my past hurts and use what I went through to help others. I figured that God wanted to do something in my life and that was why I never succeeded in ending my life.
    I was afraid and had trouble telling my best friend about my past and what had happened to me. I was ashamed of it and of myself. Now my three friends think I could write a book. I don’t think I could do that.

  12. I wouldn’t have been able to say it so eloquently, but so many of the details you just shared, I could have written myself. I pray also that the Lord helps me thru the past and guides me thru this study. I am HOPING to lean on Him, rather than self…I want to DISCOVER Him as my Lord, not just my Savior…I am going to BELIEVE in His promises, and hold on to them.

  13. Patricia Wood says:

    I have read chapter 1 of the book and this. All of it has so hit home in my life. everything you have written is exactly what my Pastor has said asking me to do . I have been talking to him for awhile now bout some areas in my life that I have been trying to work on and give over to the Lord. your studies are really hitting home and are gonna help me to become a better person that God wants me to be. The woman of God he wants. I’m glad I’m doing this study. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Bravo Jo! Si un joueur français mérite bien d&8;#172être là, c’est lui. Il a réussi à sortir de la poule la plus relevée et semble avoir bien maîtrisé ce match.Finale demain vs Fed. Grosse affiche en perspective entre les 2 hommes forts de cette fin de saison.Roger a intérêt à prendre Tsonga très au sérieux car en indoor, c’est vraiment pas un cadeau. Pour moi, c’est du 60/40 en faveur du suisse.

  14. I am in the most impossibly painful place and my heart has been broken. An anointed ministry has been wrecked and unreasonable demands have been put on me yet I haven’ t done anything wrong, I live a clean and upright life. I so need to feel the presence and power of God, not just believe and trust He has already accomplished all that is necessary for my wholeness.

  15. This hit home..I broke down. thank u Jesus.

  16. The past few years literally turned me inside out emotionally. You never really understand how a nervous system works until your stress levels go off the radar. I bought anxiety books, delved scripture, and begged God to make everything disappear and make me whole again, with no worries. Death, trauma, heart disease, new baby, demanding job w/unrealistic deadlines….and the list goes ON! All in the span of two years. A confident heart is the opposite of what I felt and feel. It is true, we have to grieve our hurts. Women tend to shove them down and say we’ll deal with them later…..but they’re still there. They have to surface and you have to figure out a way to mentally process and handle your hurt and move past the feelings and bitterness that can manifest. Your husband and children deserve a whole you, healed by God and once again confident in the Master’s plan for your life, that he has everything worked out for our good 🙂 Please pick me for the winner of the “A Confident Heart” giveaway!!

  17. Hi, Thank u so much for sharing that message on Proverbs 31, it was so encouraging…
    i have been going though so much pain continuously and struggling to find God,like u hv mentioned i wondered why He is letting me go through all these pain if He loves me, He says He loves me unconditionally more than a mother who has given birth to a child, then how come i am going through all this pain.. i was so lost.. so discouraged and i felt as if God disappointed me not once but over and over again… every time i try to rise something happens and i fall right back… i cry to God and ask Him to help me declare His promises every day.. but nothing seemed to work. many of them told me to listen to His voice and not my emotions, they gave me so many advice but that only confused me more.. i felt like giving up.. going back to my old life.. but i couldn’t i didn’t have anyone now apart from God even though He disappointed me i had only Him.
    But now i realize that He does love me, He talks to me through these messages and He’s trying to teach me and make me stronger.. I know I have to hold on somehow and lean on Him and on Him alone. i feel so much relived now. Thanks again for that wonderful message.

    God Bless.

  18. Fannie in Kansas says:

    Thank you, Renee, for your devotional. I know from experience that your words are true. At one time I asked why I had to endure some things but in hindsight I know I would not be where I am today spiriturally if I had not endured some of the things I did. If everything always goes great we forget to live close to God but begin to feel we can do it on our own. He does take our difficult times and our hurts and helps us learn so much more about Him. He does love us unconditionally and with an everlasting, unchanging love. It didn’t happen overnight for me; it is an ongoing journey but one I am thankful He has been walking me through. There are times I have taken very baby steps but He has been faithful and never has left me alone.

  19. Hi, I can relate to your story ,although I feel Ive worked through some of the issues , I know Imnot done with it .I really would like to dothe Bible study.Thanks for all you do! God is good!

  20. Judi Splint says:

    “There were obviously things I needed to deal with, but I was afraid I’d fall apart or slip back into a depression if I let it all surface. I also feared people would feel sorry for me or judge me.”

    I did slip back into a depression when I began to deal with my ‘stuff.’ But, I also soon slipped into a better place; thanks to the Lord. He is the healer; but not without pain. The pools of tears I have cried have helped to relieve that pain and to heal me. It was a terrible place to go, but has been a necessary part of my journey. I still need to heal, and that is why I have joined this study; but I am in a much better place than I used to be.
    My fear of being judged by people became a reality. I want to say I am sorry that I exposed the dirty truths of my past to them, but I cannot. The Lord wanted me to share and I did. He also wants me to know that their judgement is their problem and not mine. I couldn’t understand at first why He would have me share this, only to feel judged and consequently, shamed once again. And now to know others knew and would likely pass it on. But, again, my focus needs to be on Him, and I know that now. None of us has any right to judge anyone. Each of us need to catch ourselves when we do this and ask for forgiveness.
    I must walk ahead in what the Lord has for me; His word tells me that his plans are not to harm me, but are for good. I know His word is true. I must put my faith in Him and continue to move forward, even though sometimes it is difficult. I can hold my head high because He is my father and I am His child.
    My public testimony has helped to heal me and to bring forth pain in my young life that I had totally denied. Without this public testimony, this would not have happened. I thank the Lord for His unfailing love. I only hope that I can continue to grow so that I can love others the way He loves me.

    • Just said a prayer for you Judi.

      I sometimes think humorously that I do not struggle with judging people as much as others because I have made just about every mistake that can be made! 🙂 I still catch myself doing it sometimes though, and although I have come a long way in my walk with God I still have SO far to go.

      I always enjoy reading your comments, and I also thank the Lord for your courage to share your testimony, and His unfailing love. 🙂

  21. Renee, the part where you talk about your marriage and controlling your husband to be the husband and dad so you could have your happily ever after – did you take that from MY journal…..I wrote those words years ago, I have caused a lot of hurt in my 20 year marriage but thank God every day for a loving, patient man and a loving, patient God who is healing me and my mistakes.

  22. Renee, thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I always find them hitting so closet to home everytime I read them. I am participating in Melissa’s online study of your new book and can’t wait to learn more about myself and how to become the confident woman God meant for me to be! I have so many friends who I know would also benefit from this study my prayers are that they soon join me on this journey.

  23. Thank you so much for your message this morning. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and He still does. Cast all your cares on Him, He cares for you!

  24. Wow..this devotion was a huge eyeopener. I am going through the pain of the past and it doesn’t seem like I can heal from it or get over it. I’m glad now that there is hope and that it does take time. I have thought for the longest time that I’m stuck and it’s not going to get any better. I really needed this today..thank you for sharing!

  25. Adrianne Thompson says:

    Thank you, God, for Renee. Thank you, Renee, for sharing. I am in the pit of self-doubt trying to breakthrough to blessings God is trying to give me. He’s leading me, and I can see them in front of me, but my self-doubt has me paralyzed. He led me to A Confident Heart and Melissa Taylor’s study just in time! My hope is being restored. I know this will be a process, and I’m anxious to heal those painful memories that paralyze me 40 years later. Thank you, God, and thank you, Renee!

  26. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I long to be free of disappointments and wrong expectations…free to freely love without thought of return. I feel so trapped/bound. God is faithful…that is my hope as I turn to him.

  27. How do you heal when someone continually hurts you day after day? For every hurt I forgive another one takes it place.

    • Hi Dot,
      I am in the same boat. How do you HEAL when you are continually hurt day after day! We, the bigger person has to give grace and more grace!

      Long story short. My husband had an affair in 2005.. It killed me, my walk with god was very casual and I became depressed and went on medication.
      My 2nd daughter was born on Feb 18th and on Feb 21th (still in the hospital due to vaginal bleeding and 2 major surgeries) the OW (Other women) emailed me that my husband of 9 years had a 3 1/2 years affair w/ her. He was very remorse with a repentant heart for 7 weeks (since he was home on medical leave of absence to care for me, our 8 years old and our newborn). Once he went back to work, he was conformed to the wordy environment and continued the affair. he NEVER stopped the affair. Because of his shame and guilt, he takes it out on me w/ rage, cursing, anger, etc.. he has NO empathy, or compassion to my hurt feelings.
      I have been praying that he god would convict his heart and see the pain he has caused me and how he’s destroying this beautiful family.
      I am living day by day in darkness. It’s been 7 months, god has given me peace and I live on this saying:
      “HAPPINESS COMES FROM ME AND GOD.
      I AM NOT RESPONDS FOR SOMEONE’S BAD DECISION / BEHAVIOR.”

      i read a lot of devotions, bible studies, focus on my girls, etc. to keep my mind busy.
      I came across Renee’s blogged and I like it a lot. I read it quit often because I know I am not the only one going thru what I am going thru.
      Only my close friends know about my husband’s addictions to ladies, temptation, his weakness, porno, affairs, etc.. you name it, he has it.

      So sometimes we think we have it bad, there are others who have it worse. So I count my blessings that my daughters are healthy, he hasn’t left this marriage (god knows why NOT??? with his selfishness and emotional abuse to me), he claims he working on it etc…
      But ultimately it’s OURSELF that makes us happy NOT him, not material things, not our kids BUT ourself and god! If we are happy, we can be a better mom, wife, daughter, friend etc..

  28. Though I didn’t come from a broken home, my dad wasn’t a hands-on kind when it came to me. It was in large part due to the way he was brought up, which I understand but still struggle with. I sometimes envy the relationship our daughter has with her daddy, wishing I had been blessed as she is. But I’ve grown to see that while my dad wasn’t the hands-on kind, he did the best he knew how based on what he had been shown by his own father. I’ve moving from the envy to thankfulness that my daughter has what I didn’t, and I while i wouldn’t consider my father and I close, I do know that he’ll be there for me if and when I need him. All that is to say that while our circumstances were different, I can soooo relate to what you shared in this piece. Thanks so much for being so open and transparent so that others can learn to be the same.

  29. Thanks, Renee, for sharing your heart so openly with all of us. “And I needed to find my security and hope in God alone by letting Him be the Father I longed for.” I’ll be resting here for awhile. Thanks for the nudge.

  30. Thanks Renee for your encouraging words. I am part of this bible study and I’m looking forward to how God will use it to change and heal me.
    My childhood was no where near “normal” and I have excepted that there is nothing I can do about it now or change what happened but I do know that I can allow God to heal my broken heart and remove the hurt of the memories.

  31. Peggy Kennedy says:

    I have joined Melissa’s group and from reading and this article I find our lives are very similar. I want to thank you so much for allowing the Holy Spirit to heal you and lead you to encourage and help heal so many women. God bless you:)

  32. Thank you for your inspiration. I am in the midst of a major depressive episode and am having trouble truly believing that God and Jesus are there to help me through this. I am seeing a psychiatrist and we are working to get my “chemicals” straightened out so that I can see the sunshine of the holy spirit. I’M SO SCARED, THOUGH!!!!! Will someone who has gone through depression give me hope that there is hope on the other side? I seem to surrender and then take it back as quickly as I do. I need encouragement and would REALLY appreciate any and all comments!

    • Yes there is hope when one is feeling depressed. God is bigger than anything. I was depressed after my first child 7 years old now and went through a lot and had a psychiatrist, dealing with past hurts….. I came of my medication and even though I keep getting evaluated as on border line I am not depressed! I know why I feel low,which we all get and I keep trusting in God that I can have the faith to trust him and believe for complete breakthrough.
      My marriage is on tender hooks but It has coarsed me to grow close to God and renew my prayer time and bible times despite the busyness of life. The lack of sleep,looking after 4 children 1yrs-7yrs, keeping on top of house and feeding kids decent meals(most of the time), and then trying my best to continue to show love and respect for my husband who is hardly there.
      I believe God can change us and bring us back together and use this time to help us help others in the future. Renee’s writings have been not just challenging or encouraging but practical and full of quality content which I’ve been able to get my teeth into and inspires me to want to read more. A confident heart sounds like the way forward for me and that’s impressive as I’m not a great reader!
      Well the whole mindset thing has hit home to me, and not reacting to others but learning to be positive and change the way I think is so important. To not be negative,critical,or putting others down but building others up.
      I am glad I have found usefull sights that encourage and give me hope.

  33. Thank you so much for this devotion. My husband left me ten years ago for another woman. I have been waiting for God to restore my life, and I know that he will, BUT I have to be healed first. Actually, I have been telling myself I was healed, but deep down, I knew otherwise. I have dealt with insecurity for what seems like forever. I so needed this bible study; I can see that I have to deal with some issues — they aren’t going to go away. I thank God for his guidance. We serve a great God!

  34. I too came from a broken home. There was no divorce but it was broken by violence. I married my childhood sweetheart also expecting “happy everafter” to follow! Our home was broken by multiple infidelities across many years. Finally my husband let God control his life and our marriage remains intact. Our marriage, not me. I’ve been in counseling for 1 1/2 years thinking I was still angry at my husband but have discovered that I’m actually angry at God!! He didn’t give me what I thought I needed. I thought I needed a “happy everafter” with a man, thus my husband, when actually I needed a “happy everafter” with God!! HE is my father and husband!!! In the last few weeks I have begun to understand Jeremiah 29:11! I am still a work in progress as I am working on Trusting God for my past, present AND future!!

  35. Wendy Franke says:

    Renee,
    Your words re pain from yesterday robbing us resonated so deeply in me! I am in the midst of working through childhood sexual abuse that happened for many years 35 years ago. It has caused me to doubt myself, God’s love for me – my confidence. I have signed up for the bible study of A Confident Heart. I hope some day my healing allows faith and hope back. Thanks for your inspiration!

    Wendy

  36. May He comfort you during this time of loss. I read about your book a few months back, had been waiting on it to be released and I am so thankful for the BS Melissa is doing. There are so many things that sounds like you are writing directly to me or about me. Thank you for what you do!

  37. I so relate to dealing with someone with drug/alcohol addition, not only did it affect him but also me and it has taken me a long time to heal from it and somedays it still comes up, that thorn! Thank you for sharing, you are wonderful inspiration!

  38. Thank you for your Confident Heart posting for today, It was encouraging.

  39. Thanks for sharing; praying for you in your loss. I would love to have your book. Have moved to the “country” and have not found the right chuch yet. I am truly blessed by your blog/ministry.

  40. Dinna Purdy says:

    Dear Renee, Thank you for sharing your your story today and your wonderful book.. I come from a similar background as yours. I sometimes can’t believe any one came from a broken home like I did. I made so many bad mistakes. I am so happy for you that your marriage is working. My husband left me homeless after 32yrs. together last summer. His divorce was final 3 days after our 30th wedding anniversary, 2 months ago. I am still shocked and brokenhearted, he had his girlfriend move in with him a few months after he left me That just hurts me so bad. It’s like I never was a part of his life. I wanted so bad to rebuild our marriage. He doesn’t care that I was even alive. I’m having a difficult time getting over him. I pray the bible study will give me the confidence. I am so sorry about your loss. God bless you, Love, Donna Purdy

    • Hi Donna…
      I’m so sorry, and wish I could give you a really long big hug. I stand in similar shoes right now, and wonder where God is in all of this. I try to put myself in God’s hands, try to “shake the devil off” and stand strong, but one wave after another of disappointments or broken promises just remind me that I live broken dreams. I am having the same “difficult time getting over him” as you. We were together for 28 years, and have 2 children together. As I read yours, and other notes, I see that we are not alone with troubles. But, as I read other notes, I hear that others can claim the Lord’s presence in their circumstance. My 90yr old Mom keeps saying “put yourself in God’s hands”, but what does that mean exactly with each decision and step you must make. I need to hear which direction to go, and more than anything, I need to feel His arms around me and feel His love. I pray this bible study illuminates that for me. And you as well. My son once told me not to tell my God how big my problem was, but instead to tell my problem how big my God was. I think that might sorta be like telling the enemy to go to………. and isn’t that where he belongs? Not in our marriages and families. I stand with you girl…and will pray for you Donna. Please do the same for me. We are sisters you know!

  41. Thank you for this. It’s helpful to be given specific steps in how to deal with pain in our lives. I still have your book on my list to purchase and read.:)

  42. For the past number of years I have heard often from others around me that God must have some pretty big plans for me with everything He’s brought me through. Thank you for sharing your heart here as it was a reminder to me of what God has in store. My hope has been renewed through your sharing of God. Thanks for being a light for me today that has redirected me where God wants me.

  43. Hey Renee, I feel a lot of what you’re saying. I too have been earnestly seeking God to transform my heart. I want it all now because I feel like I’ve been on this journay for so long but I know everything works best in God’s timing not Eve’s. I look forward to your study and how God is going to speak to me through it. God bless you for sharing it with us.

  44. I have been doing this since May, in a less retrogressive way. I had a massive stroke in Sept 24, 1986, almost exactly half my life ago. It changed my entire life, personality, marriage, EVERYTHING. My husband is a good ole preachers kid and out of love and responsibility he remained dutifully at my side. My parents stayed with me to nurse me to health so he could work. I tried to become the woman I used to be, but that was not what God wanted of me….very long story short…at 50 years old I feel God is calling me to be a grief counselor or geriatric counselor or some thing like that….After the stroke He gifted me with the gift of Compassion. Wonderful, Marvelous gift! But at times it is overwhelming and my family feels they are taking a back seat, this is cause for many conflicts. I have so many irons in the fire, my family tends to cut my confidence, while others and OUR Lord build me up. My daddy was my biggest cheerleader, as it were. When I was learning to walk again after the stroke, I was still legally blind from the stroke, drooling and couldn’t swallow food without choaking…I can remember my daddy saying, “My Suzy will get better! If you put that girl in a concrete pasture with a concrete wall 50 feet high…she will find grass to eat OR she will get out, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!” I can see that wonderful smile too! Anyway, in April I was ready to leave my husband, then the tornado hit Tuscaloosa, AL. I am a Disaster Relief Chaplain, and volunteer in almost all other areas too. I was deployed to Tuscaloosa and lodged with a lady from the Texas Baptist Men who had been through a divorce. She told me to ask God to reveal to me the way HE sees me. Low and Behold! HE DID THAT VERY WEEK! It has been an amazing turn around for me! He comes to us in the most unique of circumstances and situation! Thank you so much for your book! I am loving it….Have you considered using it for teens? I am a youth sponsor and we really have some frail, angry and confused youth. Some are AMAZING and filled with the SPRIT with parents who bring them with them to church. But most come without parents. Our youth leader is the age of my son and he needs help, I thought if I could do this, it would be great! Love you Renee…IICorn 1:3-4 you live it!

  45. Renee, Thank you for your transparent, open, honesty…I remember during the Beth Moore Bible Study, “Believing God,” one of our assignments was to do a timeline of our life in 10 year segments, asking God to reveal to us all the spiritual mile markers in our lives…broken places…hurts…and joyful times…to help us see that God had been there all along…His grace is sufficient. During this Bible study, I discovered a very helpful tool for a “Timeline Template” through Microsoft. It’s free, and it’s very easy to use, the text boxes expand to whatever size you need, and the arrows on the boxes can be moved to any location on the timeline. I have copied the link for this “Timeline Template” ….it really helped me to get my thoughts on paper, and God has used it to heal me in so many ways 🙂 Here’s the link…

    http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/templates/timeline-TC001016265.aspx

  46. My husband had an affair in 2005.. It killed me, my walk with god was very casual and I became depressed and went on medication.
    My 2nd daughter was born on Feb 18th and on Feb 21th (still in the hospital due to vaginal bleeding and 2 major surgeries) the OW (Other women) emailed me that my husband of 9 years had a 3 1/2 years affair w/ her. He was very remorse with a repentant heart for 7 weeks (since he was home on medical leave of absence to care for me, our 8 years old and our newborn). Once he went back to work, he was conformed to the wordy environment and continued the affair. he NEVER stopped the affair. Because of his shame and guilt, he takes it out on me w/ rage, cursing, anger, etc.. he has NO empathy, or compassion to my hurt feelings.
    I have been praying that he god would convict his heart and see the pain he has caused me and how he’s destroying this beautiful family.
    I am living day by day in darkness. It’s been 7 months, god has given me peace and I live on this saying:
    “HAPPINESS COMES FROM ME AND GOD.
    I AM NOT RESPONDS FOR SOMEONE’S BAD DECISION / BEHAVIOR.”

    i read a lot of devotions, bible studies, focus on my girls, etc. to keep my mind busy.
    I came across Renee’s blogged and I like it a lot. I read it quit often because I know I am not the only one going thru what I am going thru.
    Only my close friends know about my husband’s addictions to ladies, temptation, his weakness, porno, affairs, etc.. you name it, he has it.

    So sometimes we think we have it bad, there are others who have it worse. So I count my blessings that my daughters are healthy, he hasn’t left this marriage (god knows why NOT??? with his selfishness and emotional abuse to me), he claims he working on it etc…
    But ultimately it’s OURSELF that makes us happy NOT him, not material things, not our kids BUT ourself and god! If we are happy, we can be a better mom, wife, daughter, friend etc..

  47. cheri hardin says:

    Depression and painful childhood experiences still plaque me today. I had a therapist ask me why I didn’t believe God’s promises were meant for me? I didn’t understand how I could believe God’s promises but not provlaim them for myself but that’s what I was doing! I do not feel worthy of anything. I have a healthy fa,ily, a husband who loves me, all the creature comforts of the world and the love of Christ in my heart and yet I am joyless. It’s crazy which further exacerbates my feelings of worthlessness.This study is just what I need and I am prayerful that I will finish it with a confident heart!

    • Marla Imhoff says:

      It is an exciting journey to learn your identity in Christ. It will trasform you from the inside out. It is something only the Spirit of God can do. How lovely are the feet of them who bring good news. God bless your time with the Holy Spirit, Renee, Melissa and all those who have joined in.

      Marla

      • Bonjour Sara, moi aussi je suis une petite Sara (portuguaise), qui a un petit blog dans un petit pays à côté de la France. J’admire enormément ton blog..il est tellement beau. Je suis enchanté. Merci pour tout tes bons coonSils.xsxoeara

      • I support the Idaho stop law. It is sort of already written into WI law. “except that would not be applicable to bicyclists,” allows for an Idaho stop. If one were to ever get a ticket and was able to fight it, we could get it changed through legal precedent. The issue is that motorists feel that bicyclists are scofflaws so having this approach doesn’t help the image.Derek ParrEau Claire Bicycle/Pedestrian Advisory Commission

  48. Marla Imhoff says:

    Dear Renee,

    I don’t have the book yet but I know I am in the right place for what the Lord has already been doing in my life by travelling this journey through joining the study Melissa will share through your book. I so appreciate this post.

    Love you,

    Marla

  49. Hmm, I have been wondering why it is so important to bring up the past. It seems to me maybe the past just needs to be the past…What you have said brought a feeling in my heart that I have not had in a long time. I think it was a feeling of maybe, sadness and tears. I don’t know because I have numbed myself from being hurt. It seems easier to build a wall around your heart than letting it get broken over and over and over again. You open yourself up only to be let down or disappointed. I really need to get my eyes off of others and onto God. Reading my own post it is just disturbing..I carry hurt from moving and moving moving, relocating because of my husbands job. He was well don’t want to go there(.but it was never his fault)..we have now been in this place for five years and I have a beautiful home, beautiful yard, precious children, okay church, husband that loves me but I just feel blahhh. It would appear on the outside that I had it all..but I don’t. I want to be healed from these stupid memories, anger from disappointment and frustration that continually surfaces on a daily basis. I started the journal of stuff now let’s see what happens.

  50. Your words hit home. I had a fairy tale childhood but made a very poor choice in my first husband. He was verbally abusive and tore my confidence to shreds in the 15 years we were married. I have your book and am in Melissa’s online study. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story with us. I look forward to the freedom that only God can provide. You have given me the tools to get started. Thank you again.

  51. I just wanted to say thank you for your words, they have really touched me!

  52. Jennifer hodge says:

    Thank you. I’m an expert in covering up my hurt with rationalizing my experiences, not always in good ways. Asking Jesus to do that for me is a WAY better idea!

  53. Thank you so much for yesterday…. we did not get to pray together, but I felt your prayers! I slept in the arms of my Heavenly Husband last night …..very soundly I might add! 🙂 I am assured that all will be fine just need to keep my eyes on the Lord!

  54. Thank you so much for sharing Renee. I feel that in my life I have always had to do everything on my own. Essentially, I felt like the black sheep and nothing was ever good enough. I HAD to get straight As. I HAD to sing the solo. I HAD to ride my bike those 7 miles everyday. While some of these goals are actually positive, my obsession with success essentially led to abusive relationship to abusive relationship to abusive relationship. My confidence was gone. I couldn’t talk to my parents because negativity was never discussed. I finally realized that I was obsessed with helping others or “fixing” my boyfriends. Essentially, I was a positive force but it finally took a toll on me emotionally, psychologically and physically. It led to avoidance, doubt, fear, self-medication and hiding my true self from the world. Even though I had confidence since I was a little girl and felt that if I worked hard enough, I could do anything. This didn’t pan out so well after having to hide the physical and emotional scars. I was embarrassed and my confidence was ripped away. Because if all of these guys say I’m “stupid”, then maybe I am. Thankfully, I am beginning to heal and I have rededicated myself to the Lord. I have made the choice to “make God my hope and confidence”. Without Him, I am nothing.

  55. Goodness! It’s as if God was speaking right through you to me with this blog post. It’s been a few days ago since it was posted, but God’s timing is always perfect. I have been “in the pit” all day and decided to catch up on all the blogs I subscribe to. I read yours 1st since I am leading a group studying your book, “A Confident Heart.” Thank you so much for your God-driven honesty. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for writing this book. Have a blessed day!

  56. Renee,

    I am so grateful for you sharing your thoughts, experiences, and wisdom. I can absolutely relate to a somewhat disappointing childhood, my parents divorced when I was 5, and we lived 3,000 miles apart. At times, I think I am healed, but when I read your first line about asking God if there are places in your heart/life that you are broken…I wept…

    I ordered your book, “A Confident Heart,” but have not received it…should be here any day now. I will be behind on the Bible study, but very well worth it!

    Thank you for all that you!

    Have a wonderful day!

    God Bless you!

  57. I can relate to you talking about a disappointing childhood. Even though I had wonderful grandparents that took very good care of me, my mom had me at age 16 and really wasn’t around much and my father wasnt in the picture at all, so I still have hurt from that. I have forgiven yet the hurt is still there and I can always ask myself what if. I am surrending this over to God and not letting any of that have control over my life. I do have your back and I am following the bible study that Melisa is giving and it has been wonderful to do so. I have not purchased the conference calls but I pray God’s blessings on that and all that are participating in this study.

  58. Wow! This post has given me a lot to think about. I might have to read it a couple more times before I can articulate my thoughts. Thanks for sharing it.

  59. I feel like I am one big broken mess and no one has wanted me really, not men anyways from my earthly father all the way down. Not wanted a relationship with me even is what I mean. Oh I can be a freind or mostly I have been used and abused, but to know love, real love: I have not felt that. I thought I might have found love and acceptance for me right where I am and then that drifted away and wasn’t the reality of it.
    I Know I have a Heavenly Father that loves me but I don’t * feel* it all that much or often. It’s not a belief in me yet.
    It’s very difficult for me to feel like I matter when all I have felt since I was just tiny was that I didn’t matter, that my words didn’t matter, how I felt didn’t matter….all in all that i’m not worthwhile and I don’t matter. Logically I know this isn’t true but to believe it in my heart of hearts; I just don’t feel that way. Most things point to show me I don’t matter that much. So I go out of my way to try to make a difference no matter how small, so someone else feels loved, wanted and important.
    I want to heal all the hurts but I really don’t know how. It robs me every day in my opinion of LIFE and LIVING. In some ways I’m doing better but I have so much work to do and don’t know where to start.
    I am hoping this is where I need to start to make a dent in that healing process. 🙂

  60. Maria Drakos says:

    This is definitely a different direction for my life, yet at the same time I need this desperately. The brokenness inside my heart is overflowing with pain and doubts and ones that only God can heal. I am scared and nervous at the same time for what I am about to face from my past. I believe that God will not let go of me as I step into this journey.

  61. Once again Gods timing will never cease to amaze me. I just finished reading your Sept. 21 entry, withiin minutes after reading chapter one (on line) of A Confident Heart. I am sitting here amazed, and almost breathless!
    My husband passed away one year ago, and in so many ways I am still reeling. After God took Bob Home I began to ask God to allow me to walk this “Journey Through Grief” the right way, His way. I ask Him to put me where I need to be when He knew I needed to be there. I ask Him to just let this be a very personal journey. God is so very faithful, and has honored my prayersI. It has been and continues to be, a very personal journey between God and I..
    Recently He has been bringing to my mind allot of things from the past,. I was pretty confused about that, thinking it wasn’t the right time, that I had enough to deal with during this time(I am pretty good at trying to argue with God, usually when I’m seeing that He is moving me way out of my comfort zone).Well as usual He had a different plan! He continued allowing little things to happen, or come into my path that would bring those past things back to my mind. This last week end one final thing took place and it seemed to just erupt some of those past hauntings. Finally late one night I couldn’t take it any longer and I began to cry almot uncontrolably and began to pour out my heart before the Lord. It seemed the more I poured before Him the more He would bring to my mind. By the time morning came I had had about 2 hrs sleep, The rest of the night was spent crying before the throne. As I lay on my bed that morning exhausted I felt like I had been broken and spilled out before God. In the shower that morning I began to realize that

    I was right where He wanted me to be and that my journey had just took a big turn, yet somehow I knew that it was a new begining, that He would be faithful once again to show me the next step.
    Reading here tonight I knew once again His orchastrating things in my life had led me to your web site , and I know your book is the next step in my journey. Thank You for allowing us a glimps into your book in this way, God is going to use this book in a powerful way!
    Karren Reed

  62. I am studying your book A Confident Heart and after reading to the third chapter I was able to go back to the first chapter to complete the questions. Although I had though I was over most of my “baggage”, I soon realized I was not. I read my answers to the questions and found that despite all, God was always in my trial and I can see that now. He sustained me so i could deal, no matter how that was. I came out on the other side stronger than I thought I could ever be…

    I commend you Renee for writing this book as I believe there are a lot of women who needs to be transformed by the Holy Spirit and once they can identify this need they will be able to move forward and gain the knowledge that God is in all things, good or bad as we perceive them.

    Thank you

  63. Amy Pitman says:

    Praying for you and your family, Renee. So sorry for this valley you and your family are having to go through right now. God always brings us up and out of such valleys in due time.
    I am 1 of 4 ladies who meets every Monday evening for a little simple supper and to study your book, “A Confident Heart.” We absolutely LOVE the bible study time and your book. We are guided a little by Melissa Taylor and her Facebook/Blog-driven study of your book. Thank you so much for the time and effort that was put into the book. It speaks directly to our hearts and I know I have found my legs again to stand confidently on the promises of God. I can also see it in the other 3 ladies in our group. We pray for you every week and your family. Thank you, thank you……and God Bless you always.

  64. I came from an extremely broken, dysfunctional home filled with parents of alcoholism, drug addiction, mental and emotional sickness, sexual abuse, and adultery. I was the youngest of four children, and I don’t know how any of us made it out alive… none of us knew God. When I was in junior high I was invited to church by a friend, met Jesus, fell in love, and have never been the same. However, Satan still had some strongholds in my life. I based my worth and acceptance on how many points I scored in basketball and on how much affirmation I got from my high school sweetheart. I didn’t realize it at the time- but my childhood could be defined by unconditional rejection. After I becamse a christian it could be defined by love with conditions. I was dating the cutest boy in school, and going to college on a basketball scholarship. I was accepted and worthy right? After college when my basketball career ended, and my boyfriend completely abandoned me after our 8 year realtionship, and abandoned my fairytale I had planned for us- I was rejected again. I have been living enslaved, a prisoner, roped and chained to my insecurity, and my self-doubt. Satan has been winning in my heart and mind and I’ve been believing the lies. And now as I’m 23- I’m learning again what the gospel is. What grace is. And starting to get a taste of what God’s unconditional love feels like. And hopefully after I get your book and read it I will be able to finally live secure, and confident, and alive in freedom of Christ. God is good and I’m thankful that He is doing a work in me- teaching me that He is whe He says He is, Can do what He says He can do, and I am who He says I am, and can do what He says I can do. I can’t wait to have a confident heart! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for allowing Jesus to work in and through you- He is changing my life.

  65. Miranda White says:

    Renee Thanks for your book a confident heart. I know it was meant to be because it seems satan is atacking a lot of us . But he doses not worrie me. The lord is with me and soon his angles will have fought my battle for me and then it will be a smooth ride.At least we are not on a plane with a woman screaming I have a bomb . satan is atacking Lysa to she is not a magnet but a servent to God. Her story was so funny. I know it was not to her but God brought her through.I think I will stay away from planes until my battle with satan has been won lol. Thanks for helping me to change my life. Keep being Gods servent. I love you for all you do. I love all you jesus girls for what you do. thanks to all.

  66. Wow, just the thought of creating a timeline of the uglies makes me anxious! I keep saying I need to buy this book and do this study. Thank you for the emails, Renee, and than you for your loving heart for the lives you are ministering to! It seems like the exact day(s) I read your post is the exact thing I was needing that day to help me and encourage me! What a great idea to do this together! God Bless!!

  67. I feel that I need this right now. I am always secong guessing myself, and have lost all confidence in my ability to do my job or be a good wife. my husband and I are mending our marriage after an affair he had with a woman who ended up being very dangerous. I just had a hysterectomy at the end of July. I turn 40 onMonday. I could never have kids due to infertility, and I just got transferred to a new job position at a different location, where I am dealing with individuals who don’t want me there and very hostile. Because of all of their personal attacks I always second guess myself,wal around on eggshells, and doubt my professional abilities. I already had trust issues because of the affair. I’m praying these devotionals will help. Thank you.

  68. Your openness about your childhood’s affect on your marriage hit me head on. God revealed to me that I do not trust HIM like I should and therefore, I am unable to trust people in my life. I have nearly sabotaged my marriage of 16 years to a wonderful godly man because of my inability to trust and my fear of
    not having “happily ever after Til death due us part”. Repeated instances through out my childhood and even into adulthood have left their scars. It has become not only a
    matter of trust, but has manifested itself as
    unhealthy fear that impacts my everyday life. Sadly, those feeling the most impact are my children. I pray they will turn out well despite my shortcomings. God has been so good to me… I have received an abundance of grace. Thank you for sharing your life’s intimate journey.

  69. Victoria, Vicky says:

    Thanks ever so much. I want to do the bible study. I’ve enjoyed the 7-day doubt devotional and have bought the book, “A Confident Heart”. I am reading through it now! Thanks for writing your story and sharing it with us.

  70. Today, my husband called me to tell me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. 30 years of Marriage on Sept 12th we didn’t Celebrate together. I was sitting here alone tonight and your e-mail popped up. I had just written a friend and shared with her what I was feeling and how I longed for a Ladies Retreat to attend. I need sometime away with the Lord. Our Church however, doesn’t offer those. Our Pastors wife never heard of them. Anyway, as soon as I read the first few lines of your e-mail. Tears streaming down my face, this is for me! My husband and I have been having issues for many years mostly about Church and kids. We had both served in different Ministry roles for many years. I had allowed a relationship to become inappropriate. When I confided in a close friend/Mentor. I said; I know better this happends to other people not me. What is wrong with me? I’m so ashamed. I shared it with my husband after weeks of him drilling me over a phone bill. Finally I came clean last night, I believed the only hope of restoration is to be honost. However, that’s not the case. I have ruined my Testimony. I’m so empty inside. I’m angry and hurt. Tonight I will e-mail the Pastor and resign my Leadership responsibilities, to see if there is any hope left for our Marriage. Years of past hurts and disappointments have surfaced, nothing I’ve said is right. yes, I too expected my husband to heal all the disappointments in my life. I put on him the responsibility that was never his to have. To make me feel secure and loved un-conditionally. My head knows only the Lord can do that. My heart is so heavy. I feel like I’ve lost it all. My desire had always been to be in Ministry Full time. I have a heart for Women. But, as he said last night “who are you?” and what do you have to offer them now? it was interesting to hear how he never thought I would fall into anything like this. He held me in high regards and I never knew that. If he had only told me. just a little encouragement; maybe I would have been more diligent. I’ll never know. He doesn’t forgive or forget. I don’t know that he will choose to get past this. Many things need to change in our relationship. The masks must be removed. Why it is in Church we seem to need to wear the “Everything is perfect in my life” why can’t we just be honest and say “I’m hurting” please pray for me? instead in Leadership people are put on pedestals and treated as if Sin doesn’t touch there lives. It does, it’s real and we’re hurting people just like everyone else. Your words tonight have encouraged me. Thank you so much for your willinness to be open and share. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t afford to move out as he suggested. I have a Business it’s small I barely cover my overhead and bills. I don’t know what my future holds. I know God holds my Future. Are we a fortunate people that God doesn’t respond to us, the way we so often respond to one another in times of trial. Thank you –

  71. This will be the second time I has done your devotionals. . . but again God’s timing. I have the gift of encouragement but can’t seem to pick myself up sometimes. I really want to get your book when I can. Thanks.

  72. I can’t even list all of the pain from my past. There isn’t a chart big enough, or even enough paper made! I was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and had a father who was cold and distant. My mother dropped me off at relatives homes just to get rid of me because I never slept good and had asthma and stomach problems. I suffered with depression for years, and never really understood it.
    I went with a friend to a ministry that dealt with deliverance, and God set me free from depression.
    My problem now is that there is still areas that need to be healed. It isn’t a one time thing with me. I had unfulfilled dreams of what parents should be. That didn’t happen. They died, and I still struggle!
    I had dreams of what a husband should be. That didn’t happen either. We have been married forty years, but I can’t say that they were happy.
    As I am reading the book, and even the posts here, I see that I am far from being healed totally! Maybe there was just too much damage done! But, ALL things are possible with Jesus Christ!
    I guess I am in fear to. Fear that nothing will ever be right Fear that I can’t be good enough for God to use me in any way! Fear that my children will have generational curses follow them!!
    I pray for strength, as well as healing for my marriage! Please pray that God helps me with this. I wanted to leave last week. I felt like I just couldn’t take it anymore! But, God stopped me.

  73. My husband died suddenly 11 months ago. Two months before, he’d gone back drinking (after 8 years)and during that time started having an affair. The day of his accident he’d started drinking first thing in the morning, all day long, all night then with his mistress. After she left him around 5 a.m., he fell down a flight of stairs rendering him unconscious, suffering severe brain damage from which he died later that day. It has been hard to grieve him properly because of the anger I had, and all my family was angry too. So much torn away from me, so many questions. I feel I have forgiven him, but so many thoughts keep tumbling around in my head. God has promised me a new life and that He won’t leave me. However, the day-to-day living is such a struggle.

  74. Dear Renee,

    Your e-mail to re-join the 7 Day doubt diet was a Godsend. I also just read your article and realized that that is me. I haven’t done the time line yet, but no doubt it will help a great deal. I will do it today. Thanks for being so open and for sharing your resources with us. It will help me.

  75. Your book, A Confident Heart has brought me understanding of what I feel. I have been encouraged and have will share your encouragement with others.

  76. Thanks for your message today and the 7 day doubt diet. I have a lot of doubt in my life. I am reading your book now, through the on line bible study. But, I never get involved in the on line stuff. I just read and try and answer the questions. Because of things that happened in my life, I have always been rather shy, and kept to myself. So, I have had very few friends because I’m afraid to let anyone get to close. Like you said, I’m afraid I would fall apart. That is sort of why I like the internet. I can open up a little better that in person. Because, I know I will never see anyone like you or any body else I may email like this.

  77. Hello
    I just wanted to let you know… I receive email right to my phone and last night I received your email perfectly in God’s timing to speak to my heart.
    Thank you
    Shari

  78. Janet Volpe says:

    I am going to do the 7 day doubdt diet again with you. I want to be a part of the group and
    experience the blessings again.

  79. Vicki Harvell says:

    I love this from Renee’s blog from 10/5/11: “God’s power is perfected in the broken places we consider to be our greatest weaknesses—our most vulnerable emotions we don’t want anyone to know about. ” When I go to the beach, I love to collect shells. I am always drawn to the broken ones – it reminds me that we are all broken in some way and yet we are perfectly and wonderfully made by Him!

  80. Looking forward to next 7 Days. Last one was wonderful. I used it along with the CRAVE bible study our church started. Amazing how many times 7 Days applied in my life. I have shared it with several hurting friends.

  81. I found “A Confident Heart” through Bible Gateway Encouragement Devotional about a week ago. I feel as if you were telling a story about me and I decided to sign up for the 7 Day Diet. I was so encouraged and felt so uplifted after reading Jeremiah 17:7, Isaiah 49:23, Romans 8:28, Mark 9:23, and Hebrews 10:35-36,39, and prayed and thanked God for leading me to your ministry and promised myself to follow this Diet for the next 7 days. But that’s not what happened. I was distracted with homework, my husband and grandchildren oh and don’t forget the to do list and well here I am again as if I never left the start of the diet 🙁 I am now trying to start the 7days again. Please pray that I can apply small changes tin my thoughts and emotions God’s grace. It is exhausting to live this way. May the LORD continue to bless you Renee and your ministry.♥

  82. Charlene Hutchens says:

    My past, falls into the same chapter, same old story, just a new name. We all share a common thread from our past. As women we derive out affirmation from others, or close loved ones. We are natural born fixers, nurturers, that is how God created us, an admirable quality. Somewhere along life’s journey things become confused and unbalanced. I think Satan takes the busyness of our schedules as women, wives and mothers, and uses that to his full advantage. It is so much easier to believe Satan lies, than to take the time to be grounded in God’s promises through his word. I realize this now, but never had a clear understanding of this in my youth. I don’t know when or why the transformation took place, but I let others determine my value and worth. I stripped God from His 1st priority in my life to guard and guide me. God will only let you be rebellious for a short time before He(My father has to pull in the reigns). I gave my voice and power away where it never should have gone. Eggs shells became a coating for my feet.
    It took me 23 years through cycles of depression, a tumultuous abusive marriage, who then left me for another younger women. I became very angry with God for all that had happened to myself and my family. I was a Christian, things like this aren’t suppose to happen to Christians. I held on to my hurt for so long. I thought I had nothing left. My dignity was gone. I lost all trust, in myself , in others, and most of all God. This was the lowest point where God wanted me I thought. Things had to change. Not true, from all the anguish I developed an illness and was rushed to the hospital , my whole body system was starting to shutdown. I literally was dying and did not know why. I was diagnosed with diabetes. Being homebound due to my illness for a couple of years, lead to another challenge. Still trying to do things on my own, I starting shopping on line and developed a daily shopping addiction. A box would be on my doorstop daily. Something finally clicked when I looked at all the boxes of stuff and realized those were boxes of empty emotions. God you have my attention, I’m a stubborn one you know.
    To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
    I want each of you to concentrate on this sentence…..
    The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will no protect you.
    That was two years ago. I truly know what joy is now. For the first time in my life I know I’m loved unconditionally. Im becoming what God wants me to be.

  83. Patricia wallace says:

    This is god totally! I got the email yesterday about the doubt diet, thinking, “well everything is going good in
    My life tight mow” and no…. I don’t think I fit into this category. BUT god had Renee send this to me to prepare me with my breakd

  84. Patricia wallace says:

    Breakdown today*.
    I’ve had a tough life growing up and I find myself bringing in old habits of how I was raised to my daughter! My dad was an alcoholic and I married a guy just like that but was an emotionally, verbally and PHYSICAL abuser and alcoholic and drug addict. So bringing my daughter up in that atmosphere of stress, walking on eggshells, frustration, anger etc I can see that In her now too! 🙁
    Her school has been saying things about her attitudes, demeanor, defiant ways that it gets me worried because she’s only in kindergarten!!!!!!
    I see all these traits that I delt with in the past with her dad and how I am now (frustated, angry) are coming out in her! 🙁 I never knew or thought about the past and how we get where we are now and what were accustomed to in our child hood and bringing it into our childrens life and making it Something there accustomed to!
    Sometimes it could be good, but in situautions like this, it isn’t! I believe this doubt diet will help me tremendously bc right now my doubt is setting in:-( my heart is aching for my daughter and I feel I’m stuck in a place and situation where I don’t know what to do!
    I re dedicated my life to god about 6 months ago and let me tell ya, my god is good! But there r times where my faith shakes sometimes.
    I ask for prayer for my daughter from anyone who could in appreciate it. Thanks everyone 😉

  85. Patricia wallace says:

    Breakdown today*.
    I’ve had a tough life growing up and I find myself bringing in old habits of how I was raised to my daughter! My dad was an alcoholic and I married a guy just like that but was an emotionally, verbally and PHYSICAL abuser and alcoholic and drug addict. So bringing my daughter up in that atmosphere of stress, walking on eggshells, frustration, anger etc I can see that In her now too! 🙁
    Her school has been saying things about her attitudes, demeanor, defiant ways that it gets me worried because she’s only in kindergarten!!!!!! I see all these traits that I delt with in the past with her dad and how I am now (frustated, angry) are coming out in her! 🙁 I never knew or thought about the past and how we get where we are now and what were accustomed to in our child hood and bringing it into our childrens life and making it Something there accustomed to!
    Sometimes it could be good, but in situautions like this, it isn’t! I believe this doubt diet will help me tremendously bc right now my doubt is setting in:-( my heart is aching for my daughter and I feel I’m stuck in a place and situation where I don’t know what to do!
    I re dedicated my life to god about 6 months ago and let me tell ya, my god is good! But there r times where my faith shakes sometimes.
    I ask for prayer for my daughter from anyone who could in appreciate it. Thanks everyone 😉

  86. janet daniel says:

    I would love to join the study of a conifidant heart, because I don’t have a lot of conifidence in myself lately. I find it awesome that you sent me the message on Wednesday because ,I had just received some not so good news on my oldest daughters healthon Wednesday. First ,I get upset , then I get angry , then I make myself feel bad, then I freeze and can’t do the things I want and should be doing. I seem to be rude to everyone around me. I used to be such an easy person to be around, but now I seem to blame everyone for my situation . I would love do start a timeline chart and ask the Holy Spirit to intervine, but I don’t know how to fit into my schedule. I’m trying to set a schedule for my business every day and I can’t seem to keep up with that at times. I need your prayers and ,Thanks! for your warm invitation and concern. I will do my best to participate.

  87. My husband is hardly at home and I feel neglected, I am struggling to handle this and just trust God. I have struggled for years on and off with the feeling of being left out,abandoned and neglected. I want to feel more confident in who I am and God and then be able to face the pain I am suffering.

  88. I am loving your book The Confident Heart. I am in Melissa’s bible study although I am behind and was looking for the interactive part of your website where we could talk about what we were learning, but I didn’t see it when I was looking and just wanted to let you know how it is already speaking to me and showing me areas in my life that are affecting how I relate to God.

  89. This morning i woke up with a heavy heart… i knew something wasn’t right. I tried to be normal and thought nothing of it. I need to be a strong mom and a strong wife. After reading this it so CLEAR! God knew that this was written just for me today. I need to go through all my past hurts and work through it so i can move forward. I do not want to put unrealistic expectations on my husband. I have been longing for my “happily ever after” but not in a realistic way. I have an AMAZING husband, who always does his best and gives of his time for me and our son. Yet i still put unnecessary pressure on him and our marriage. Thank you for writing this – i feel like it was straight from God. I am not sure where to start, but i am trusting in God and i thank Him for the Holy Spirit for His guidance and love. I believe in my heart that i need to go back and ask God to heal my past so i can move forward HEALED!! thank you sweet Heavenly Father for my Healing!

    Thank you Renee – This is just what i needed! xx

  90. Nicole Matsutani says:

    I struggle with self doubt too. It sounds like a great book. I look forward to reading it.

  91. As I looked at my timeline, I realized that the painful events of my past have not just made me a bundle of insecurities, LOL, but also helped to create the empathy I have for others. I wrote a blog to express my feelings about the timeline and my spiritual and emotional journey over the past two years. Thank you for your ministry!!
    http://wizkey.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/time-to-heal/

  92. Diana Robertson says:

    My dad touched me when I was 9. I’ve had manic-depression for over 30 years. I went to Celebration Women’s Ministry Houston Area Fall FEST today. Thank you. I very much enjoyed it. Have a blessed day, Renee Please pray for me and my son.

  93. I think I need to heal from my past events and that will really help me,,get healed and get over it as time goes on.and I don’t have your book

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