We’re heading to FL this evening for the RENEW women’s conference in Milton, FL where I’ll be speaking Friday night and Saturday morning. My family is going with me and we’re staying to visit with my brothers, their families and my dad. I am praying our time together will be good. My dad isn’t doing well mentally and he’s unpredictable; always has been and it’s gotten worse lately. I want to look forward to seeing him but I’m not there yet. And that makes me sad.
One thing I am learning this week is to trust my Father in Heaven with the messy things of earth.
It’s been a challenging week. Lots of logistics to coordinate for our trip. New radio shows due Monday, radio recording Wednesday, unpacking from the mountains and packing for FL was somewhere in between. I got caught up in preparing for my event this weekend and some coming up next months and completely forgot about a radio interview I had. So embarrassing!
After being gone last week to the mountains with my fam, I felt pressed to get some solid writing done for my book. After two days of working from 12pm-11pm, and two nights of stress-induced, very interrupted sleep, followed by two days with a twitch in my eye that wouldn’t go away God showed me something…
Sometimes, I expect too much… of myself.
Why do we expect ourselves to sometimes be super-human? Why do we focus on what we didn’t get done instead of all that we did do? I know you know what I mean. It’s hard when a deadlines and life are pressing in. Even when we try to take things off our plates, life piles on another helping of somethin’.
Today, I wonder if you need to hear a friend say, “Girl, you are expecting too much of yourself!”
I hope you’ll give yourself grace. I pray you’ll re-focus on what you have done, not what you still need to do. I want you to give yourself an atta girl and be proud of your accomplishments. No matter how big or small they are. You did them and they wouldn’t have gotten done if you hadn’t shown up and been faithful!
And then leave room for things like reading a novel before bed, watching the Olympics and enjoying the final 24 of American Idol. I made myself do those things mid-week and walked away from unfinished business. I decided to lay down my manuscript and say, “Too much is going on this week but next week there will be room to write.”
I asked for grace from others by sharing with my radio producers during recording yesterday that I needed us not to push for perfection as hard as we usually do. Recording went well. I slept great last night and that little eye-twitch is gone today.
But I this idea of grace is not my own. It doesn’t come easy to me. To find grace, I had to come to HIM….
In the morning, throughout each waking hour of my days I have cried out to God in my distress. And HE has shown me what needed to change – me and my expectations.
Little by little, I have made small decisions of grace and He has made big changes in my heart. And then like a love note in my lunchbox, He sent me this encouragement through Twitter.