Marriage with No Regrets

I honored my husband last night by going to bed at 9:30pm. Believe me, I wanted to to stay up and determine the winners of my R-E-S-P-E-C-T give-away. And I wanted to finish decorating my Christmas tree because I was hosting the P31 staff Christmas party at my house this morning. But no announcements and no ornaments meant no arguments, so I was able to go to bed with no regrets. Well, accept that I didn’t get to tell you the winners…until now.

Thanks to Christy Leake for suggesting we invite others to give away copies of Melanie Chitwood’s book, “What a Husband Needs from His Wife,” we have six winners. I let the Holy Spirit and Random Integer do the choosing, and the winners are…

Susan
Laurie Golden
Amber Jackson
Kim at NothingCanSeperateMe
Jessica
Hayley (who’s just been married 9 months)

I really, really wanted all of you to win. If you aren’t listed above, I hope you’ll consider getting a copy of What a Husband Needs from His Wife” to read. Please know, I don’t get anything from promoting it – except knowing God will use it powerfully in your life and in your marriage. I’d love to hear about it if He does! I also wanted to share with you an email I received the day after my devotion about honoring our husbands.

Dear Renee,

Reading your devotion was like reading a letter I would write. I have always tried as a wife to honor my husband. God joined us and led us and he was the head of the house. Sure we compromised when we made decisions but the final was usually by him. He honored me too because I did honor him. He always asked me also to call him away from the childrens hearing and tell him what I needed to tell him. I usually did. If I didn’t he would later tell me.

If there was something that disturbed me, I would go in my room, close the door and pray, Lord is this something that hurt me because I was in a bad mood? Or something I need to call him aside and talk about it?

If it was because I was in a bad mood, the Lord let me feel that and I would return to whatever I was doing. If I needed to talk with him, I would tell him I need to talk about something and not to get mad. Then we talked and usually ended up hugging.

He went to be with the Lord too soon for us. He had lung cancer for over 3 years and worked till it was hard too breathe. He knew I was ill the night before he went to be with the Lord and drove me to the Dr. Then the next morning he woke me and said he could not breathe. I tried to help him , praying, calling 911, and working on him.

I remember very little after that for 6 weeks. I was at the services, greeted friends, so I am told. I woke in the hospital this time last year. It felt like he passed the day before, but it had been 6 weeks. I had post tramatic syndrome. I still do not remember much but what counts is the husband I did honor and he honored me. He will be at the Gate waiting for me one day.

I was taken to the hospital after my family came in at night and I was in the bed. They knew something was wrong because I did not make a scence on the phone. So from December until March I was too weak to be alone. Now I am healed. I am strong and live for the Lord even more than I did before. Because I honored him as my husband and as the father of our children, my heart feels proud of our life. I know the Lord led us and lit our paths for 40 years. God is so good.. Now I do mission work and God gets all the honor and Glory.

Take care,
Patricia Ross

As many of you know, my husband has had pretty serious health issues this year. He’s doing really well this week, but when I got Patricia’s letter he’d just gotten out of the hospital. I cried as I read it because I was keenly aware that each day is a gift, and I don’t know how many I will have with my husband and best friend. I pray that it will be more than I can count. But how ever many God gives me, I want to honor JJ each day that I have been given. I want to have a marriage with no regrets!

About Renee

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, story-teller, heart-encourager and grace-needer. She's also a wife, mom, friend, daughter and author of A Confident Heart, a Retailers Choice Award winning book that became a best-seller and has been published in six languages, with over 150,000 copies sold. Renee is speaks around the country at women's events and and serves on the writing team for DaySpring’s inCourage blog. For twenty years, Renee served in leadership at Proverbs 31 Ministries and as former co-host of the ministry's radio program, “Everyday Life with Lysa & Renee.

Comments

  1. I am blessed with a healthy husband, but know that our time on earth is only as long as God’s plans for us. I too want a marriage with no regrets. Thank you so much for sharing this email and about going to bed early. I need to focus on the people – not the things.

  2. Even if our husbands are healthy – we still need to be reminded to cherish each day as a gift from God. Thank you for sharing from your heart and being real! I need this reminder because I too want to honor, love and cherish my husband and marriage!! Thank you!

  3. Renee,
    This is precious. I have had 32 years with my husband and I would love to say that I have “no regrets” every day.
    It is so good to be reminded. Thank you so much. I prayed for you and JJ tonight,
    Pat

  4. You made the right choice! Announcements and ornaments can wait…so can we, your blog readers! 🙂 And God honors us as we honor our hubbies.

    I was crying reading that e-mail. Wow…what a reminder. Gonna squeeze my man a little tighter today. Thank you.

    Hugs,
    Sharon

  5. Renee, thank you so much for sharing this story – it brought me to tears and I’m sure is a reminder many of us need. Your opening words really hit me, as Job, my husband and I were discussing the very thing just minutes ago. I too am tempted to stay up at times…

    Your words about husbands and marriage have been quite timely. Last week our Pastor spoke from 1 Peter 3:1-6, the bit about wives submitting and this week will be the verse for husbands. Anyway I lead our women’s class and we had quite the discussion last week with many women really sharing from the heart – obviously submitting isn’t easy for any of us, but at the sametime many had positive results to share. This week I have plans to use your devotional and your previous blog post about our husbands and this one too will bring things all together real well. (Hope that’s OK!) God’s timing is pretty amazing. And like our Pastor said what better gift can we give our husbands for Christmas than honoring them and like you saying living with no regrets.

    Thanks again for sharing. I’m still lifting you in prayer, Jill

  6. Joy in The Truth (Sharon Sloan) says:

    You made the right choice! Announcements and ornaments can wait…so can we, your blog readers! 🙂 And God honors us as we honor our hubbies.

    I was crying reading that e-mail. Wow…what a reminder. Gonna squeeze my man a little tighter today. Thank you.

    Hugs,
    Sharon

  7. Renee, thank you so much for sharing this story – it brought me to tears and I’m sure is a reminder many of us need. Your opening words really hit me, as Job, my husband and I were discussing the very thing just minutes ago. I too am tempted to stay up at times…

    Your words about husbands and marriage have been quite timely. Last week our Pastor spoke from 1 Peter 3:1-6, the bit about wives submitting and this week will be the verse for husbands. Anyway I lead our women’s class and we had quite the discussion last week with many women really sharing from the heart – obviously submitting isn’t easy for any of us, but at the sametime many had positive results to share. This week I have plans to use your devotional and your previous blog post about our husbands and this one too will bring things all together real well. (Hope that’s OK!) God’s timing is pretty amazing. And like our Pastor said what better gift can we give our husbands for Christmas than honoring them and like you saying living with no regrets.

    Thanks again for sharing. I’m still lifting you in prayer, Jill

  8. Renee,
    What a powerful e-mail…so sad and yet so convicting. Each day is a gift to be cherished…there are no “do-overs”. And what a testimony to God’s faithfulness to bring her through the storm. Thank you for sharing this reminder with us.

    I truly believe the Holy Spirit used the “random integer” to choose my name for Melanies book. God is REALLY speaking to me on this issue of honor and respect. Thank you…I will e-mail you my address.

    blessings to you and your family,
    Kim

  9. What a blessing that 6 women were able to win this book!

    Thank you so much for all of this encouragement for marriages. I love my husband dearly, but I know I can ALWAYS use reminders on how to love, honor, and respect him more!

    Hope your man is doing 100% better!
    Love and prayers,
    K 🙂

  10. Thank you for sharing Patricia’s letter, and again for being so honest with us regarding honoring our husbands. The Lord has really been working on me about overreacting and not being honest with myself or my husband about my actions after the fact (taking responsibility). The worst part is that it is about stupid insignificant things. I am realizing that excuses are a crutch and I don’t want that! Anyway, the Holy Spirit wouldn’t let me get away with an excuse last week for being late. Your devotional and blog had pierced my heart and I knew I needed to apologize for the real reason I was late. Craziest thing: my husband apologized for overreacting and we hugged and that was that.

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