I had planned to share my verse from She Speaks earlier this week, but I didn’t want to start talking too soon. Reading your stories in the comments for my last post makes me feel like we’re sitting on our beds in our jammies talking about our promises and what they mean to each of us. My favorite part has been listening. It’s felt so right to not say anything so I could simply read about how HE SPEAKS to each of us.
God spoke to me Saturday night in a powerful way with a new Word. I was so taken back because this word wasn’t on any of the cards. It wasn’t something He’d ever given me before. It was something only He knew I needed to hear. He delivered it through a messenger much like Gideon’s angel, who called him out of his hiding place so he could fulfill God’s call on his life.
Like Gideon, I am a woman who struggles with doubt. I don’t want to struggle with doubt. I want it to GO AWAY. I look at so many resilient and confident women and want to be like them. Yet God keeps me dependent on Him through my doubt. It can push me towards discouragement or pull me into His truth for perspective, strength and direction.
Doubt had come on like a storm in the weeks preparing for She Speaks. I was wrestling with what to say, how to say it and how to weave it all together. I knew God wanted me to share my testimony, but I was hesitant. I didn’t know what part to share and I didn’t want my message to be about me. Voices of doubt tangled my thoughts as I tried to untangle my testimony for the message. In the end, I shared things I’ve never shared before all for the purpose of telling His story in my life.
I also knew God wanted me to share the gospel. Although it was a Christian conference, with 560 women in attendance I sensed there would be some who didn’t know Him. It became clear during my prayer and prep time that I needed to explain the power of the Cross, why Jesus made Himself our sacrificial lamb, offering up His life as our perfect sacrifice so that we could be free to live in the Truth. If God was going to lead us out of the shadow of doubt, we had to end up in the shadow of the Cross. It changes EVERYTHING!
As I stepped down from speaking, I joined the audience worshiping, soaking in God’s presence and trying to grasp the reality of His promises. The music faded, the lights went up and a pretty woman with blond hair came up to me. She handed me a piece of paper with a verse reference on it. Then she spoke these words over me:
“For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony;” Revelation 12:11
She looked into my eyes and said, “Renee, you OVERCAME the accuser by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony!”
Praise God, she was right!!!!!!! The accuser, who had been taunting, threatening and discouraging so many hearts (including mine), had been defeated! I had not stayed in the the shadow of darkness. I had ministered from the shadow of the cross. Through my testimony of God’s redemption and the power of the blood of the Lamb, I OVERCAME the enemies of my doubt and fears. It’s a truth we can all claim!
As I read your comments and other blogs this week with your testimonies, I can’t help but feel like we’re watching this promise be fulfilled again and again.
So that my friend is my promise and my Word. OVERCAME. It’s not just what is going to happen, but what already did. He is so faithful, isn’t He?