Wow, we all have so many similar stories. Isn’t it so good to know we’re not alone. How about we take a few days to talk through our thoughts and questions here on my blog. Promise me you’ll remember I am not a friendship expert. But also know that I can relate to every single one of you. I wish I had just the right answer for every question, but I’m not sure I will. However, I know Someone who does, so I’m am going to seek His perspective in prayer and share with you what He’s showing and has shown me.
Here is are some of the things that were mentioned in yesterday’s girl talk comments: fitting friendship into busy schedules – yours and theirs, getting hurt, feeling rejected or unwanted, trusting again, when no one seems to need a friend, moving away and starting over again, feeling like you’re imposing, not knowing how to make friends, being a dumping ground for others problems, friendships that become unhealthy, dealing with misunderstandings and conflict, creative ways to spend together, friendships with purpose, seasons and reasons for certain friendships, being open to new friends, not taking friendship challenges and changes personally, letting Jesus be our best friend.
I have to leave for work soon so I’ll be back to share more tomorrow. Today, I am going to glean from these great insights Laura B. shared in her comments about what she’s “learned along the way.”
God is first – He has always been the one true friend who doesn’t disappoint, disappear, or disengage!
Prayer is vital – Pray that God will provide the friendship(s) you need and desire, and that He would show you which ones to let go of and which ones to focus on. Sometimes we try to hold on friends that were meant to be there for us in a special season of our lives – when God may have another person in mind for the next season, or for your long-time, 60 year-old best friend.
Purpose is a must – When you find that special friend (or friends), or if you already have that friendship, you must pursue it. Make sure you both agree on what friendship is, and what makes you feel close as friends(i.e. some people need to connect with their friend(s) daily, while others are more casual about it).Be intentional about your time together – schedule it on the calendar as a commitment (not optional) – and get together as often as you can – even if just for 30 min. of chatting at Starbucks.
Stay in touch – You may hit a truly busy season in your life that forces your friendship time to the ‘back burner’ for a while. There are thoughtful things you can do during that time that only take a minute, but leave a lasting impression on your friends. Send an upbeat thinking-of-you card and drop it in the mail with a note that says ‘Sorry I’ve been so busy… missing you’ and suggest a tentative future date to catch up. Drop by their work or home with a special note or gift saying I just have minute but wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. It helps to maintain the closeness of the friendships when time can’t stretch far enough.
Always forgive quickly – Quickly is the key here, before an offense has time to take root and grow. You treasure the friendship and no offense is worth losing it over. If you run to God immediately, He will take care of everything, and you can continue to take care of your treasured friendship.
I love all of you to pieces and treasure your friendship in this journey called life. For now, how about we each ask God to show us one way to be a good friend to someone we know or meet today. I can’t wait to hear what happens.
© 2008, Renee Swope. All rights reserved.